Paul,
How can I live without you?
All those beautiful memories
They are just like a dream!
I wish you hadn’t gone to Afghanistan,
I wish could live together for ever,
Every corner of this city reminds me of you
I just feel so empty!
Yeah, She's got school friends and it helps,
Lisa seems to be doing really well,
She still misses her daddy though,
How are you doing?
It still hurts so much,
and the army didn’t even give me a body to bury, so
there is no grave
There is nowhere to go and talk to him!
I think it would help you know to be able to tell him how I am feeling and
just not have to cry in front of Lisa you know,
I’m really sorry Susan,
I understand that you’re hurting, but God gives us the strength to bear this pain,
He will help you find your way through this hard time,
I know this is hard, but with time you will heal
It’s just so hard that I don’t even know what to do,
I think you should come to my church and talk with God,
It’s not far from where you live and the calm and quiet might make you feel better,
Maybe you’ll find some peace there,
Thanks, You’re so kind ,,,
I do appreciate it,,,,
It's just, I don’t think that,,,,,,
I’ve been volunteering at this church for sometime now,
and it’s really helped me through hard times,
You’re God’s child and if you ask Him for help He’ll listen, I’m sure,
Maybe you’ll find some peace there,
Honestly,,, I think I need to find my own way,
of course,
I love you Mummy,
Aww! I love you too sweety,
Mommy! Look at that scary man, He’s so dirty,
Oh Lisa ! Look at me,
I don't want to hear you talking to anyone like that, ok?
We don't know what that man has been through, Bad luck can happen to anyone,
So we should be nice to everyone we see, ok?
why don't we give him some money
and you say you are sorry, You Understand?
Off you go!
I’m sorry for what I said, I hope things get better,
Mom? Do you think I’m pretty in this dress?
Yes,
Definitely, you are always so pretty,
Wait, are you getting dressed up for someone special?
No, I just want to look nice, I drew a new picture at school,
Do you want to come and see?
Yes, how wonderful! Let me see your picture,
Mom ?
Why do you sometimes close your eyes? Like when you cry, or when you kiss me?
Sometimes you can’t even see the beauty of life when it is right in front of you,
but if you close your eyes,
You can see it in your mind
or even in your heart,
When you close your eyes, can you see Daddy too?
Yes sweety, I can,
Your beautiful picture made me,
see him in my mind,
He looks so like your picture,
I’m so proud of you,
Daddy! I miss you,
Mom misses you too,
Mom says when I close my eyes, I can see beautiful things,
One day I want to close my eyes and see God,
and then I'll tell Him how much I miss you daddy,
I want to talk to you, I want to see you, You know?
Kids at school don’t like me,
They say I don't have a dad,
They say my dad is dead,
But the teacher says your dad is in a good place,
She says your Dad is in heaven with God,
She says the God loves the kids,
If He loves the kids, why did He take you away from me?
One day I want to close my eyes and see God,
And when I do, I will tell Him how much I miss you daddy !
Oh, I think you must have the wrong house,
I am running late to meet my daughter,
This is 4 Northfields Road?
Yes, It is,
Are you Ms, Susan Waters?
Yes I am,
You have a daughter name Lisa?
OH my God,
What happened? I meant to pick her up now!
Is it ok for us to step inside for a minute ?
to talk ?
Just tell me what's wrong, Where is Lisa? What's happened?
Just tell me, What's wrong? Where is Lisa? Tell me what's happened?
I am very sorry,
Unfortunately we have to give you some very bad news !
Please have a sit,
No, No, tell me now,
A few hours ago, your daughter Lisa
was involved in a car accident in front of the school,
An ambulance arrived quickly but,
I am very sorry !
She didn't make it !
No!
I am very sorry !
No!
Sorry !
I am so sorry Ms, Waters!
I am very sorry!
No!
I am crying out to you !
Do you hear me?
I am in so much pain !
I came here to talk to you, to cry !
What is this destiny for me?
What have I done to deserve this?
What God?
What have I done to deserve this?
If you could feel, what I feel, if you were a human,
You were know how much I am suffering!
Please !
Stop this madness !
Stop it !
You know how much pain I am in, Don't you !!!
So why do you do it ?
You say you love your creations !
You love people like your children,
You will never abandon them,
But look what you have done to me?
You left me with nothing,
You take away my husband,
and my brave caring Paul,
Then my sweet angle,
Lisa,
How am I supposed to live without them?
How can I go on ?
Are you listening to me?
Do you hear me?
Answer me !
Do you hear me?
Why you don't answer?
That is Susan, my friend I told you about,
She is in so much pain after losing her daughter,
So soon after losing her husband,
I had invited her to come to church, I didn't think she would come, but
I am really glad she is here,
I hope she finds peace and solace with God,
I pray for her everyday,
Losing her daughter was a horrendous shock, It was awful,
She is such a sensitive and kind person,
She wanted the best for her family, but without them,
Her heart is broken,
She really needs your help,
God bless her heart, I hope I can help her,
I believe helping one person does not change the world,
But it can change the world for that one person,,,
Let me go and talk to her alone and see if I can comfort her,
Yes, Thank you,
Hi Susan,
I am Vicar John,
I’m so sorry for your loss,
Your beautiful child and your brave husband,
Words cannot express the pain and sorrow we feel,
May God hold you at this painful moment and give you strength,
I don't feel very strong!
I will pray to God to support you and to give you comfort, strength and peace,
We pray that the love of God surrounds you,
during this difficult time and,
helps you heal with time
It’s like a Storm,
It’s like a hurricane,
It swept my life apart,
You have every right to feel angry and upset,
No pain compares to losing loved ones,
But why?
Why did He take them from me?
Why did He take my husband, my beautiful baby,
May your daughter’s soul rest in peace,
May God give you strength,
And when you feel weak,
Come and see me, we will get through this together,
Would you like to pray with me now?
No,
Hi Susan,
How are you feeling?
I can’t stop thinking about the car accident,
I can play it over and over in my head
What if I've been there, could I've stopped it ?
They told me he was texting,
He was driving and texting, Who could be so stupid ?
I heard that the driver was not even going fast,
He was driving slowly, when he hit Lisa, she fell down and her head hit the ground,
I really think if you want to feel better,
it would help to forgive the driver,,,
What?
Do you know what are you asking me to do?
He took my child,
My only child,
I can't forgive a murderer!
But maybe it was an accident,
I’m sure he didn’t really want to kill your child,
Do you want to live with this anger and poison inside of you forever?
Maybe it would be easier on you to realize that he made a mistake,
and to forgive him rather than to
live with this bitterness forever,
No, you don't understand,
He took her away,
She never coming back,
He took all my happiness !
No, He should be in prison, He should stay there until he dies,
If you forgive this man, you will open your heart to God and
He will show you the way to peace and comfort,
My child is dead,
Nothing can bring peace and comfort! Nothing,
The love of God will come to you when you are ready for it,
That’s why I think it is better if you forgive him and pray for him,
Hi,
I am so sorry !
I didn't mean for any of this to happen, I didn't want any of this
to happend and,
I was just sending
a text message
That was it,
And
and next,
Accident, and,,,, I know I deserve to be pannished, and I am sorry !
You have no idea what I am going through right now,
I lost my child,
My beautiful innocent daughter,
because of you
Because of what you did !
You can't possibly know how I am feeling !
But look at me, look what you have done to me !
I am so sorry !
I didn't mean any of it,
I couldn't have imagined me being put in prison for taking a child's life !
A lot of things, I wanted to do things, I wanted to be
and they are all gone !
they have been ruined, they are taken,
the worst part is that I have ruined yours as well,
I have taken yours,
Every day and every night,
I re-live the accident and I,
I live it over and over again and I can't bear it any more,
even in my conscience
I execute myself because I cannot take it any more,
I even pray to God and tell Him how much I am suffering right now,
I say to Him that I am sorry that my mistake
took someone else's life,
I speak to God,
You are merciful,
You are compassionate, just please,
For Love of God just forgive me,
Before you came here,
Just last night,
I finally slept,
I was able to
sleep
God came to me after so many days of nothing!
God came to me in my dream and He forgave me !
I was crying, I thanked Him,
I was so exited,
I woke myself up from excitement,
I cost my dream last night as a miracle,
God came to me in my dream and He forgave me,
Can you believe it ! God came to me and He forgave me !
He showed me forgiveness !
I went to see him !
I went to prison !
And you know what he told me !
He told me God has forgiven him already !
Yes, that God had come to him in a dream !
And that he was already forgiven him!
Don't need it, God come to his dream and already forgive him!
and then He forgave him !
Before I had a chance to say anything !
Why ? Why would God do this ?
Why? Why would God do that?
Why would God forgive a murderer and let me suffer?
Susan, Listen !
You should forgive him just to heal your own heart,
It’s not for you to question God’s plan,
If you have faith everything will work out,
You just might not know it, until later,
Where is this God that you are talking about?
Haa ?
Why doesn't He listen to me?
Why he doesn't do anything for me ?
Why ?
would he give comfort to a murderer but not to me?
Why he dosen't listen to me? Why he dosen't help me?
Why would He help a murderer ?
And not give me anything ?
I have seen God's Love,
in the innocence of my daughter’s eyes,
in her laughter and her smiles,
and I've seen God in my husband's love !
and our happy ordinary lives together,
But it's all gone now! Do you understand ?
They are dead !
God is everywhere, even we don't feel Him,
He's still watching over us !
Ann, Ann!
Susan ! What's happened ?
Susan !
Paul !
Oh my God !
Is it you ?!
I can't believe it ?!
Yes !
It is me!
I finally made it back,
They told me you were killed !
No !
I was captured and held as a prisoner of war !
My team were killed,
No one knew that I survived !
But I am back now !
It's amazing !
I can't believe it's true !
I am so happy !
Come in, come in,
Biddy !
Biddy it's Daddy !
Where is our beautiful girl?!
Biddy !
What is that !
Lisa!
What about her !
She was killed in a car accident !
What !
We lost her Paul !
She is gone !
No ! No
I'm so Sorry!
That's not true !
Hello my beautiful Lisa !
I wish you could have been here to see your daddy come home!
He misses you terribly !
He really wanted to come and see you today,
But I told him not to,
I am sorry,
He's just,,,, He is really poully,
I will bring him, I promise,
He is just not ready yet,
I am so happy Paul has come home !
It's amazing !
It's a miracle !
Thank you !
It is a miracle !
But he's come back as a different person !
He is not the Paul that went away !
What do you mean !
I meant war has changed him !
All that he went through in Afghanistan, fighting !
Being captured, imprisoned for so many months !
he's come back with with so many problems !
I mean he looks like same Paul !
But he is not !
He is different, Mentally !
What do you mean !
I mean physically !
He's come back to me, but !
his mind is else where !
Just sits and
Stares into space !
He has terrible nightmares !
I can't even talk about Lisa !
He is just so depressed !
Oh Susan I am so sorry !
We will pray for him !
He can't be happy with me any more !
Doesn't wash or shave, changes clothes !
Barely eats, I try to help him, !
He is so angry and upset all the time !
He sits,!
next to the door that it has to be open because he can't stand to be in closed,
I don't know him any more !
Have you taken him to see a doctor ?
I mean I am sure there is something that can help him !
Tried so many things !
And the doctor's given him different pills, he takes them everyday !
and they meant to help him, I don't think they are helping !
I mean one of the pills is meant to calm him down, He is so agitated !
and another is meant to help him sleep, he won't take it
He is so scared of the terrible nightmares !
so instead !
He just seats there in the darkness
and smokes and just waits till daylight and
and he can't go on like that, can he?
He's even talked about killing himself
Susan! we will pray for him !
I will ask my friends in church on Sunday to pray for him too, I’m sure he will get better,
You just have to be patient
I know the time will heal,
Hey !
It's ok, yeah !
What is this ?
It's the letter they sent me when you were missing,
But it's not true,
None of it is true,
I know they had to send me something,
But I don't understand !
Why would they send you something like this ?
Calm down, it's ok,
You are safe, and you are back home, and that's all it matters
It's not all the matter Susan !
Why don't you understand? nobody understands what I went through !
Please don't shout at me !
Hey !
Susan !
I want to divorce !
What !
Why !
I am sorry !
I didn't know how to say this
Paul I love you !
and you still love me, don't you ?
Whatever this is we'll sort it out together
Listen, I can't !
I can't live in this house any more Susan !
It's like,
It's like a cage for me !
You know ?
Like a prison !
I can't deal with any of my problems here !
I can't !
I can't do even work any more !
I don't want to be dependent on you,
or the gavernment !
I hate this life
I just need to get out !
Ok, Paul we start a new life
We'll go far from here !
and we build our life from scratch
You don't know what it was like for me in Afghanistan !
For months
We went house by house,
and they lost their lives in front of my eyes, why ?!
Why did I survive ?!
Am I supposed to go on like nothing happened ?
My life isn't worth anything !
I have nothing !
Paul you have me !
I love you !
I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you ,
Please, Please don't do this !
I am so sorry !
All that kindness you have given me !
How you looked after me,
all those time that,
I can never give you back
But I can fix it !
by doing this !
You can have the house,
the car !
You can have everything
because I don't want any more !
We made vows together !
Remember ?
We can do this,
I know you don't feel very well at the moment ,
But we can fix it
No,
No, we can't !
I love you so much Paul,
I can't live without you,
I don't understand why you don't hate me
I am a terrible person !
The things that I have done
Not just to you
But out there
I love you so much Susan !
I do !
But I need to do this
I need to set you free
I love you so much Paul
I can't live without you !
I 've seen so much goodness in you
You such a beautiful heart,
This feeling, this pain,
It's just temporary !
It won't last,
So don't do something that can't be un-done !
Please !
I can't lose you again
I can't do this anymore
Please! Please!
No!
It's wrong Susan, it's wrong,
I just came home to tell you that I am alive,
and set you free,
I know my problems are going to hold me forever,
And I don't want you to suffer them with me,
I am a misfortunate man Susan!
I am broken,
I am not the same person,
I am not your husband anymore,
We started our marriage together,
We built a life together,
We've laughed and we've cried
We faced so many challenges, the two of us,
We are supposed to stay together until death tears us apart,
I am sorry Susan, No,
Please,
It's wrong Susan, it's wrong
No, it's wrong
It's wrong Susan, No!
No!
Paul,
Where are you going?
Please stay and talk to me,
Paul,
Hi Matt,
It's Susan, Paul's wife
I just wondered if you've seen him at all
He hasn't called?
Yeah I am quite worried about him,
Well he just left the house,
I don't know,
look I'll try his other friends, I am sure somebody has seen him
Yea, I'll let you know , I promise
Alright, Thanks,
Paul!
Oh my God !
Paul!
Paul, it's me
It's Susan,
Susan?!!
It's ok, It's ok ,
What are you doing here ?
I've come to take you home,
You've been looking for me all this time ?
I never stopped,
Let's go home
Okey !