You were right Tutu,,,
,,,a swine should stick to feasting on just crap,
Trying a cake, will give it nothing but diarrhoea,
lt's recording, by the way
Bloody hell,,, who'll tell me, your father?
Ya, but the picture is black-black,
Remove the cover na, oaf!
Now?
Ya, but earlier it was all black,,, But now it is black and white,,,
But you can see now?
Ya,,, yap away!
Hi, Myself Dev,
Dev,,, stick to Hindi, so you can actually talk,,,
,,,and we can understand,
Attaboy,
Hello,
l am Dev,,, and this is my best friend
Tutu,
And we are both,,,
Rascals
Hey, open the gate,,, hey open it, it's the Minister
Sir, the train is about to come,,,
Open it man,, open it!
We are getting late you fool,,,
,,,you want me to get out there and tell you?
Oye, don't open it, Do you want get Mr, Minister killed?
l am stuck in the middle man,
My words must sting you right now sir,
But just imagine, the gate opens and your car crosses,,,
,,,and it stalls right in the middle of the tracks,,,
,,,just then the train comes!
Have you thought about it?
Like a lamb to the slaughter!
Someone gag this foul-mouthed fool,,,
hey, HEY, HEY!
Stay away,,, No touching,,, Even l am in politics,
Will you shut up only when l kill you?
Okay bro,,, raise the crossing,,, The minister has to leave us,
Be alert, the whistle is blowing,
Your ticket has been cut, up you will be going,
l will blow your whistle,
Leave me!
l, Surra Pehelwan promise you this, Bring this prick in,
Why did we turn out like this?
The fact is, if Gandhi was born to Hitler,,,
,,,he wouldn't be Gandhi, he would be a Nazi,
Meaning my dear, a child can be born anywhere,,,
,,,but the place he was raised in, decides what he becomes,
No one knows where we were born,,,
,,,but we were found in a garbage can,,,
,,,getting our faces licked by stray dogs,
Bhaiyaji raised us
So, we grew up to be Bhaiyaji's own,
We grew up on gunshots, instead of lullabies,
At an age when should've picked up pencils, we picked up pistols,
lnstead of A for Apple, B for Ball
We picked up M for murder and C for crime,
Till the age of 13, we endured pain
At 1 5,,,
,,,we started giving it back,,,
And at 18,,,
,,,we had our first taste of blood,
Even a dog barks for you if you feed him a bone and pet his tummy,,,
So, we always bark for Bhaiyaji,
Ya, and we bite for him too,
Two shadows descend upon a tarry road
Each breastfed on gulps of blood
Bastard children of the night, perhaps
Abandoned by earth, orphaned by the skies,,,
Their story, this, a tale of crumpled lives,
Look,,, a silly star in the sky,
Stuck forever, the poor guy,
This sorry earth, spinning dizzy,
Twists and turns all day, just to get by,
We too, must not get
Stuck in between
Stop this spinning!
Life's too short, to just be living
So, my friend,,, my fellow king
Live, & die,
because tomorrow is just a lie
All we have is today!
Life makes you pay dearly,
lt's such a raw deal
lt's a long, bumpy truck ride,
And there's never a free meal
Even these breaths we borrow
will escape us tomorrow,
We seek a home, around every bend,
Only the road knows, where it will end,
So live it up
A day or two,
More or less,
Let's drink up
Buddy, even if it's our tears,,,
Friends & friendships
Will last forever,
This stream of stars,
Will shine, wherever
Cause mate, the shiniest of all of them is you,,,
lf we didn't have to peel these nuts, and there were no 'lfs & Buts',,,
,,,life would have been so simple,
Namaste Bhaiyaji!
Just water, or something with some water,
Today, it has to be with some water Bhaiyaji,
Meaning Minister Surra Pehelwan has ascended from earth,
More like nailed to it, With a 100 grams of hot lead inside him,
Why're you so sad Batuk?
Couldn't steal candy from the kids today?
One day show them, what you're made of,
But get me a napkin first,
Good show,
Bhaiyaji, lt's just a good time,
lt's good that the times are good,
Bhaiyaji, you're always spoiling us,
Tell me,,,
,,,do people turn into stars after they die?
That's what the living seem to think
So how many of these stars did we 'make'?
1 1 ,,, counting today's kill,
Dude, that guy must still be enroute,,, he wouldn't reach that fast,
Look at him go,,, our Star,
Okay, so tell me,,,
,,,how many of these must be rascals?
Rascals?
Only 2,
You,,,
,,,and l,
Here, stamp me!
Sir, stags are not allowed
Sir, there don't have stags,
No problem, we only want whiskey, Stamp!
No problem, we only want whiskey, Stamp me!
Sir,,, men alone are not allowed,
Men alone! Should've got aunty along
Sir! This man wants to say something to you, ls he allowed in?
He is the father,,, everyone's father!!
Who let the dogs out,,,
Dude, l don't get these songs,
lf you ear's are numb, chew some gum,
What would you like to order sir?
Yaar, get me some beer-sheer,
Pitcher or mug?
No pictures,
Get us one bottle with two glasses,
Now race like a bullet and fetch like an arrow,
Ok sir,
Who let the dogs out,,,
Attaboy!
Bro, she's coming here,
Dude, English,,, talk in English,
Arre Uncle,,, why bore a hole through that menu card,,,
,,,just for a few glimpses,,,
,,,here, stare all you want,,,
,,,after all isn't this, why we girls deck up,,,
,,,so that 'young at heart' leeches like you can lech at us,,,
No?
Prick!
Sorry,,, sister,
That's a sparkling Diwali firecracker,
Oye Uncleji!
Happy Diwali,
Bro that chick is too sweet,
Sorry,
Yup, and she is always giving off heat,
What the hell are you doing?
Dude, that idiot's pulled out a gun,
He's showing off, won't fire,
Let be dude, you don't know how to fire
And you're an expert on shooting guns?
Bloody lady-fingers, you don't need fingers to shoot, you need guts,
l've been shooting guns,,,
,,,since the time you weren't even inside your mother,,,
,,,you were still inside your father,
Now you wanna get out or get done?
Buzz off or l'll turn you into a star,
Thank God you intervened otherwise anything could have happened,
Thanks,
This calls for a hug,,,
Thanks,
Yeah,,,
lt's a good thing l came, or anything could've happened,
What was the matter?
Nothing,,, we were dancing and he felt me up here,,,
,,,so l felt him up some here,,,
,,,just a little harder than him,,, did l do any wrong?
Not at all,,, just repaid with interest,
O great grandson of Nero,
Hello friend!,,,
Rome is in flames,,, shall we leave?
Because of you the club has shut down,
Why don't you guys come over to our place?
w-w-wh-what?
Just come with us,,,
We were anyway heading to his place for an 'after-party'
No, we've a little work to do,
Thank you,
Come on,
My life must be worth 2-3 drinks at the least,,,
,,,just think of it that way,
- No,,, - Why not,,,
Awesome!
So come!
Why not,,, you're a big hero, aren't you,,, Watch out,
lt's all right
Wow! ls this your's?
lt is for now,
Can l ride?
lf you can start it, you can ride it,
One of you can come in my car,
That'll be me,,,
You can take the highway to hell,
Take care,
l said,,,
Dev's hanging with such dumbasses,
Arre l was getting free booze,,,
,,,forget those dumbasses, l would've gone with 'this' dumbass too,
l love bullets,
Whaat?
Arre why are you being a girl,,, you can sit closer,
By god,,, what a scent,
So what were you saying?
l love Bullet,,, bikes,
Even we love bullets,,, firing them,,, riding them,
- Can l ask you a question? - You can ask two,
You felt no fear when you saw the gun?
Fear,,, huh,,, Fear is afraid of us madam,
Thank god l didn't fear,,,
lf l did, l would be going home with Tutu, and not you,
You could've gotten shot,
There's no bullet in the world that can touch this body madam,
lt's better l get shot than you,,,
The bugger is flirting,
Did l overdo it,,,?
Did you say something?
- Nope, - Then say something na,,,
You look like a ruffian, but you are quite sweet,
lf only you knew the reality,,, you'd drop dead madam,
Thank you,
Ask me something else na,
Jenny, Chimsy, Pratty,,, and l am Disha,
All that is fine,,, but where's the wine?
That way,
You know if he doesn't get his booze on time, he gets a hangover,
The bar is open guys,
Oh bar! Bar is open,
Got you to the right place, didn't l?
Will you take it with water?
l think my mouth's watering enough,,, l'll take just the alcohol,
Cheers guys!
So do all of you guys just keep blowing away your dad's riches?
Dad's,,, we're blowing away our own!
You guys earn your own?
lt doesn't look like you guys do!
Ya! Jenny's a chain snatcher, Chimsy's a pickpocket,,,
Pratty and l drug people, and pull off train robberies,
Well, that makes us sharpshooters,
Anyway, Jenny's a doctor,,,
Chimsy's a singer and Pratty has his own business,
You did not ask about us?
How can we resist, when you insist?
l am Dev and this is my best friend, Tutu,
Hi
Hello!
So what do you guys do?
- We're murd,,, - Mur,,, Marketers,,,
Boss gives the targets, we finish them,
What kind of targets?
Targets of all kinds,,, they can be thin, fat, small, large,,, anything
You didn't say what do you do?
Are you serving it with the frying pan?!
Pratty!
He's always fingering the hot stuff,
You didn't say what do you do?
Are you okay? l am so Sorry,
Uh huh,,, you know what they say in films,,,
'ln Friendship,,, there's No sorry & No thank you'
Take your time,,, there are still 3-4 bottles left,
Ex convicts, who've served their time,,, l help rehabilitate them,
You help what 'tate' them?
l get them normal jobs, carpenters, tailors, plumbers, whatever,,,
Why?
So they don't go back to a life of crime,
Let's go?
We must go
,,,thank you!
What happened?
Okay!
Are you sleeping?
Nope,,, l'm thinking,,,
Such a cute girl that Disha is,,, but she has such a dangerous job,,,
We have a more dangerous job,,,
we're just not that cute,
l mean, look at that Jenny,,,
,,,she's a doctor!
Bloody who can tell what a person is by just looking at them,
So do we look like sharpshooters?
Yup,
Okay tell me, what lf l was a doctor?
You'd still be killing people my child,,, even then,
,,,even then,
Here my sleepy lion!
At least wash it man, now even the tea tastes like whiskey,
lt is the chick's text,,,
,,,she's thanking me again for saving her life,
Prick, you've taken her number also
lf the giver has no problem, why should the receiver,,,
,,,and why should the receiver's friend?!
Now?
This is the first time a decent girl's texted me,
l have to give a fitting reply,,, something classy,
l'm going to say,,,
'where there is a damsel in crisis, a true macho man rises'!
Dude, just quietly send her one of those corny internet, forward jokes,
Decent or indecent?
That's up to you,
l'll send her a 'yo mama is so fat,,,'
,,, go,,,go,,,gone!
Dude what is this 'Lol'
Lol?,,, meaning L O and L again?
Yes, Lol! Look,
ls she mad at me?
Come let's check it!
Hurry, and quickly search what does this mean, please,
Then you only tell me,
LOL means Laugh Out Loud,
When someone likes a joke or a forward, that makes laugh hard,
they send a message saying LOL,
LOL
The chick is laughing,,,
Oye should l send her the one with cats and dogs?
There's a hundred of them,,,
Dude, where the cat is in front and the dog is behind,,,go,,,go
No no no, my child,,,
Go,,,gone!
lncoming! Stop stop stop,,,
What's coming?
Oye,,, what is Rofl now?
Turn back,,,
ROFL means Rolling on The Floor with Laughter,
When someone is in splits they are in ROFL,
ROFL!!!
Fill it up,,, just fill it up!
Who is this villain?!
ls he a lover?!,,, ls he a lover?!,,,
No! He is a brother,,, He is a brother,,,
Will you even kiss her through this telescope?
Why'd you stop it,,, play na!
And now from downtown, we have Sunny,
Manny and Fanny and their daddy Shaad Ali wanna hear
Adnan Sami sing this song from the film SWEETA,
music by Shankar Ehsan Loy and lyrics by Gulzar!
l can tell by the look in these eyes,
There is a gentle kindness in them
We don't need a place to meet in,
lf your arms could take me in,
My eyes have gotten a taste of your eyes,
l tuck its sweetness away; it engulfs my insides,
Chocolate pieces,
Your lips feel like,
Honey-tipped slices sweetaa
Nothing could taste any sweeter!
Sweeta,,, O Sweeta!
Nothing could taste any sweeter,
Sweeta,,, O Sweeta!
Nothing could taste any sweeter,
My heart is kidding me again,
Scoffs at my plight and my pain
lt's racing my pulses against me,
lt's about to be bitten again,
Hypnotized by this dreamy haze, l stay
Every day, to me & myself, l say
ln sweltering desert,
You're the holy sherbet,
You're a soul quencher sweetaaa
Dear Sweeta!
Turn the volume down,,,
Okay,
Nothing could taste sweeter!
Arre you! Here?
Ho HO ho,,, you! Here?
Were you following me?
Arre No,
Tell me the truth, l won't say a word,
You got me,
You wanted to see who l meet,,,?
Where do l go? Do l have a boyfriend or no?
Any problem madam?
What's your problem?
But how did you catch me?
Does this cook book have recipes to fool people?
l should go,
Wait!,,,
Coffee?
No,
Why not?
You've worked so hard, you've earned one coffee,
So Mr, Dev,,, what's your plan for this evening?
lt's wonderful,,,
You said coffee, so l am here at coffee,,,
,,,if you say 'come home' then l'll come to your home,
And what if l say 'l want to slap you'?
Then l will head to my home,
What do you call an lndian girl,,,
,,,who pushes her father off the roof?
Tell me
You tell me?
Push,,,Pa,
Push,,,pa!
What a name,
That's so LOL Bhaiyaji!
ROFL,,, that was ROFL,
Enough of clowning,,,
,,,shall we work?
He looks familiar Bhaiyaji,
Mr, Gulabchand,
He's the jeweller on market street,
Didn't we get this chain from his shop?
The prick ripped us off, today we set it straight,
Just need to threaten him first,,,
,,,if he refuses to pay,,,
,,,then make him pay,
Okay! Done, got it Bhaiyaji,,,
See you,
Bhaiyaji, enough of this hack jobs, gimme a chance for something big,
- Will you have soda? - No,
l will have some,
What a surprise Chimsy, what's up?
We're throwing Disha a surprise birthday party tonight,
She'll like it if you guys come,
Even we will like it,
But do you mean it or are you just being polite?
Arre you saved our lives, of course we mean it,
When should we surface?
Everyone will be there by 1 1 ,30
We'll finish work by 1 1 right?
Ya, we will be there as soon as we finish
Dude, it's 10 already,,,
Oye Clint Eastwood,,, no one's called, we still need to buy Disha a gift,
Man, you never got me a gift on my birthday,
Did you ever invite me to a birthday party?
C'mon man, this is the first time a nice girl's invited me,
A gift is a must bro!
lf you need to piss, go ahead,,,
,,,it will wash along with your blood tomorrow,
Spit it out,
Whatever gift you want, just take it from here na,,, free of charge
Man, we are hunters, not lowly punters,,,
free of charge,,,
So let's buy it bro, outside everyone must have shut shop
So tell me Sir, do you have something nice?
We've earrings, anklets, 'Bindis', Toe rings,,, lockets,,, pendants,,,
lt really depends on what your budget is,,, and,,,
,,,making charges will be extra please!
What'll l get in 5?
- Thousand or lacs? - Thousand,
For that much you'll not even get the gold dust for the earrings,
You can look somewhere else please,,, l'm sorry,
Oh, sorry please,,,
Can you give me bangles for 15?
Okay,,, meet me half way,,, let's shake on 20!
20!
lt's a pair,,, for both the hands,,, Please free my hands also,,,
And if we don't want to give 20?
You only have to decide,,,
,,,if you're hunters or punters,
ls it?!
Both the options are open, l mean!
We're here to rip him open,,, and he's ripping us off,,,
Very good!
Not a word,
Yes Bhaiyaji!
Now?
Now meaning?
Okay Bhaiyaji,
No man,,, Sorry,,, sir,,,
Shut your ears
Please let me go sir,,,
You messed with us, we messed with you,,, score settled,
Money sir?
50 lacs,,, the cost of your life,,,
,,,and this 20 thousand are making charges,,,
,,,extra,
Okay,
Sir, if you could untie me,,,
My child,,, itchy are we?
How did you guess sir?
Cause you're scratching me, instead of yourself,
Oh! No wonder, l wasn't getting any relief,
Have you never given someone a surprise?
Oho don't ask,,, we've surprised people in the toilet,,,
,,,behind curtains, from above lifts,,, and from where not,,,
We've surprised people,,,
,,,so much that they could no longer celebrate their birthday at all,
Wow yaar! Even l want such a surprise,
May god grant you your wish,
SURPRlSE!
Oh my God, Even you guys,
Happy budday!
Thank you,,, How sweet!
Happy budday,,, from Tutu's side too!
And,,, Happy Budday, from both our sides,
Surprise!
Very sweet! Thank you
Thank you so much,
Will you have something?
We'll have enough to equal the cost of the gift,
- You guys are so funny, - We are just god-gifted,
Disha, guess what? Sam is here!
Come, you have to meet him, come!
Sorry, l'll just come
Why is your friend so lost?
Cause he doesn't have a girlfriend, That's why!
And why are you always so chirpy?
Cause l don't have a girlfriend, That's why!
Disha come! Cake is ready!
- Come guys - Come
Come!
Happy budday to you
Happy happy budday to you,,,
Hey baby, here's a charm to guard your sweet sixteen
Please! Always stay this nubile little teen,
You'll only grow younger,
Cause age is just a number,
And we can continue our rendezvous,,,
Happy budday to you
Happy happy budday to you,,,
Lock up every Tom, Dick & Harry, but
Why are we lovers under curfew?
Sadday,,, Vadday,,, C'mon on your b'day
Happy,,, shappy,,, Happy shappy badday
Sadday,,, Vadday,,, C'mon on your b'day
Happy,,, shappy,,,
Happy budday to you,,,
lf a suitor, was to totter,
Knockin at your door,
Ring no bells, roll no drums & no wedding band
hey hey hey
lf this caller, was to holler,
Empty handed,
wear no rings, cut no cakes & no first dance
You're no Juliet,,, True that!
You're no Eve,,, True that!
He was no Adam either,,, True that!
La La La
But, a Romeo, he was to you
Oye happy,,, Oye Shappy
Happy budday to you
Happy happy budday to you,,,
Lock up every Tom, Dick & Harry, but
Why are we lovers under curfew?
Sadday,,, Vadday,,, C'mon on your b'day
Happy,,, shappy,,, Happy shappy badday
Sadday,,, Vadday,,, C'mon on your b'day
Happy,,, Shappy,,,
Happy budday to you,,,
By the way, how old have your turned today?
Forty
You've really maintained yourelf, you don't look a day over 25,
Are you flirting with me?
No, l'm just trying to flirt,
l hope you don't fall for me, l'm a hard nut to crack,
l am just,,,
You're a naive puppy when it comes to love,,, but you're sweet,
Take care, farewell,,,
eat well, sleep on time,,,
,,,and do write in,
God knows what tomorrow will bring, but you take care,
Best birthday ever!
Love, had happened to him,
How did you come to know?
lt was all over your face, you donkey,,,
,,,and when a man falls in love, he starts looking like a donkey,
You were my son till today,,,
,,,now you're a son of this soil,
Answer the call of this soil,,,
Jai Hind!
We regret this war has claimed so many lives,,,
,,,but trust me neither of the two governments want this war,
MONSTER! You're a monster!
- How do you like it? - lt was nice,
Was? There's still an hour to go,
lt's a bore,
Then let's go somewhere else,
Speak the truth, it'll serve you well,
Yes, Madam,
Namaste Bhaiyaji,
This is the first time l've seen you alone,
No Bhaiyaji we had too much to drink last night so,,,
So much that,,,
,,,you're still hungover at night?
l hope Dev's not on some other intoxicant,
No Bhaiyaji, nothing like that, l am with him,
- Bhaiyaji dinner? - You guys eat,,, l don't want to,
Look,,, you're older than him,,,
,,,take care of him,,,
Okay Bhaiyaji
,,,and of this guy,
Really? That's killer!
Mom,,,
Ya mom?
No don't wait for me, l'll eat out,
No,,, you eat,
Does your mom also worry so much?
lf l had one, she probably would,
Oh! l am sorry,
lt's okay!
Tell me?
Do you mind if someone else shares the table with us?
- lt's cool? - Ya, it's cool,
Yo, kiddo,,,?
- Ya? - Do you want bread?
Sit,
Mr, Waiter, take the gentleman's order,
Curry, Bread and butter milk,,,
No! A milkshake,
Milkshake!!!
Milkshake, haan?
Listen, now don't interrupt, when grown ups talk,
Sir, do you mind if someone else shares the table with us?
Do you mind?
l don't mind at all
Not at all,
Binno!
O Mr, Waiter, take the lady's order too,
Look when grown ups are talking,,,
,,, l won't interrupt them,
Okay, see you soon,
Why? You're afraid of asking me if you can drop me home?
- So, l'll drop you home, - So, come,
Can l ask you something else?
lf you can start it, you can drive it,
By God! You're god,,, gifted,
How much is it for?
You were my son till today,,, Son?
You were my son till today,,,
,,,now you're the son of this soil,,,
,,,what a play dude
Can we go tomorrow again?
No man, the play was lame,
lf it wasn't for Disha, l would've left earlier,
lf it wasn't for Disha, l wouldn't have gone to Bhaiyaji's alone,
What're you saying man,
You're not in love, are you?
Bhaiyaji's not offended, is he?
He will be, if you don't come tomorrow to meet him
Why won't l, Chill man,,, chill,,,
Sorry Sir!
Don't you think Chimsy will look exactly like this when he grows old?
Bro l'm feeling bad, let's put some shades on him,,,
Here, please put them on,
Wait a second,
Okay,
Can l have my shades back? You won't feel bad no?
You're lit like the moon today, my firecracker,
l hope Bhaiyaji doesn't light a match and set you off,
Handsome!
Hello,
You won't wish me Happy Diwali?
Happy Diwali!
You won't meet and wish me?
Get home in a jiffy,
But Disha l,,,
l, if & but can wait till tomorrow,
You're the life of every party, and l don't want a boring party,
You have to be there okay? Final!
Thank you sir!
C'mon bro, we're late!
l'm going over to Disha's
Have you lost it?
You know what you're doing?
Dev!
A mongrel can chase a car as long as he wants,,,
,,,he'll never get to ride inside,,,
,,,and what's giving you this air?
Just because she hugged you once,,,
,,,she's sweet to everybody, don't assume she's in love with you,,,
,,,and for a second let's believe she does love you,,,
,,,it's only till she finds out the truth about you,
The day she finds out 'what you are' she won't even spit in your face,
Dev!
l know, you know all of this,,,
,,,do you or don't you?!
l'm leaving
When your own sparkler shies away from home, and shines for others,,,
,,,then we've got a problem!
She's just a friend Bhaiyaji,
And l,,,
l'm his father,,,
Father,
Mom, vermilion,
l have started liking you,,,
,,,dunno why but, l think l have,
Bol Beliya,,, Tell me Beliya,,, Bol Beliya
When he passes
these streets today,
Light a candle,
At your doorway
Fling the doors open
He might return home
Let him not lose his way,
lf he finds his way home,
Let no one sleep tonight,
Let's bathe these streets in light,
Let's make him stay this time,
When you passed
these streets today,
Even, the candle-lights,
Couldn't believe their eyes,
He's trekked home for a hundred light years
These eyes are numb, the heart swells with tears
Let no one sleep tonight,
Let's bathe these streets in light,
Let's make him stay this time,
Come back, so there are no regrets
This habit of heartbreak, the heart frets
Come back, come back home,
Test me, till the heart can no longer complain
No one who returns needs to leave again,
Test me, Test my love,
When you come home, don't you look back
When you leave, don't wait and stare back
When he passes
these streets today,
Light a candle,
ln your doorway
Fling the doors open
He might return home
Let him not lose his way,
lf he finds his way home,
Let no one sleep tonight,
Let's bathe these streets in light,
Let's make him stay this time,
Happy Diwali,,,
,,,belated,
Bhaiyaji you?
You didn't come,,,
,,,so l thought l should come over,
No Bhaiyaji, l had a little fever,,,
Your fever's gone! Shall we get to work?
Will you take something Bhaiyaji?
l will take a life,
His life,
Look,,,
,,,this is important,,,
l'm trusting you,,, don't let me down,
Driver, drive away,
Go, Faster,
Drive the car faster,
Shoot Dev shoot!
What are you waiting for! Shoot!!
l have started liking you,,,
dunno why,,, but l have
Shoot Dev shoot!
Shoot!
Driver get away,,,
- Tutu - What Tutu?
l knew this was going to happen,
This is the first time we've missed our target!
What will we tell Bhaiiyaji haan?
What will we tell him?
Bhaiyaji, the target got away!
Do you know him,,, Do you?
Yes Bhaiyaji,
Bhaiyaji you're right,,,
Yes Bhaiyaji, we'll come,,,
Ya, we're reaching,,,
l'm having to clean up your mess, everytime,,,
What's this?
What are you doing?
Do you remember Tutu,,,
,,,when we were kids and we had grown tired of being good,,,
,,,we had buried our books,,,
,,,saying we'll never touch them again,
Well today, l'm tired of being bad,
So, you're giving up our friendship?
Shut up!
Don't even think that!
l'm just giving up the gun,
Hey, have you ever felt love,,,
,,,affection, or even fondness for someone?
No Bhaiyaji, none of the three,,, never,
And you guys?
No Bhaiyaji
But sir has,,, and that too all three,
On occasion of losing his senses,,,
,,,jump through hoops and find me some sweets!
NOW!
What now?
Nothing Bhaiyaji, l need your permission to give up all this,
That,,, l can see,
But l want to know what do you plan to do then?
l'll manage something small Bhaiyaji,
Bollocks!
Something small,,,
Will you start selling hot dogs by the road,,,
,,,or will you become a janitor,
You flunked 5th grade right,,,?
,,,or have you completed college behind my back too?
No Bhaiyaji, l'll figure something out,,, anything,
You're not freaking getting me,
lt's all fun being in love right now, you know why?
Cause if you wanna take the chick some place nice,,,
,,,you reach for your pocket,,, and notes just appear,
lf you wanna take her to the movies,,, you reach for your pocket,,,
,,,and notes just appear,
lf you wanna buy her some popcorn,,,
,,,you reach for your pocket,,, and out comes What?!
You know what,,,
But when that pocket is torn, empty,,,
,,,and you reach out for it,,, what will you get,
BOLLOCKS!
Your chick will fly away my child,,,
So, listen to me,,,
l wish you well,,,
Keep romancing the chick,,, and keep coming to work,
That's it,
lf l advise you anymore l'll have to charge you,,,
Show's over,,, see you tomorrow,
l won't be able to Bhaiyaji,
Bhaiyaji!
Can you hear me better now?
Sit,,, SlT!
And all of you hear me carefully,,,
lf l say Sit, then you sit,,,
lf l say up, then get UP,,,
lf l say spit, you have to SPlT lT OUT,,,
,,,and lf l say LlCK, you will lie down and lick it clean,,,
Fallen in love,,,
Won't be able to,,,
l running a business here,,,
,,,not some charity
,,,that you can just come and go, whenever you want,
Ungrateful snake, l fed him all these years,,,
,,,and now he wants to hiss back at me,
l too have given back to you Bhaiyaji,
You want to show me the accounts,,, should l settle them right here?
Bhiayaji let it go,,, he's a kid,
You were kids,,, when those dogs were ripping you apart,,,
,,,if you can, pay me back with your lives,,,
,,,and lf l hear a word more, l'll bury you right here,
He's not in his senses,,, l'll talk to him,,, l will,
Out!
What's wrong with you
Apologize, before you go,
l'm bad at math, so l won't count to 3,
Say Sorry,,,
Say it,
Forgive me Bhaiyaji,
Bhaiyaji spared you,,,
lf it were me, Bhaiyaji would've shot me without a doubt,
l don't care if he kills me man,,,
lt's better than dying a little, every day,
We went through so much man,,, and you still refuse to get this,
You are not getting this Tutu!
Dude l'm not going to be able to lift a gun now,
How do l tell you, it repulses me,
Dude, l'm done living this way,,,
l want to start over now,
l want to live with Disha,
l want to be able to look into her eyes, not shy away,
l want to live like a decent human being,
lf l die tomorrow l don't want to regret that,,,
l didn't even give it a shot,
l'm not upset that Bhaiyaji doesn't get it,
l'm sad that you don't seem to get it,
Come here,
Listen,
We will go together to Bhaiyaji to take the hit-jobs,
We will also go together to take the money,
But in between, l will continue to live this same old life,,,
,,,and you will start your new life, That's it!
What if we're caught?
Who's ever been able to catch us?
How will they?
You're a rascal bro,
There's only one rascal now,,,
Who quits a job without getting another one?
You won't get that the joy of it,
What will you do now?
The same thing that any great man does before he becomes great,,,
,,,struggle,
Should l speak to my daddy?
What's the hurry, first let me become a great man,
For a job, you idiot,
Ya, no let me try it out first,
lf l don't then 'Hail Daddy'
You're feeling an urge to kiss me?
My, you are god gifted!
Don't even think about it!
Okay
Manager wanted,,, MBA,,,
Salesman wanted,,, College graduate,,,
Construction Supervisor - Civil Engineer,,,
A helper-School pass,,, What the hell man,,,
This country has no jobs for 5th grade flunks!
l've heard of lambs going to slaughter,,,
Never seen the slaughterer screwed by the lambs before,
Calm down,,, Come,
Where?
You've passed my child,,,
Whaat?
That too with distinction,
MBA,,, that too with distinction,,,
lf you ask me he shouldn't have more than passing marks,,,
There are other degrees too,,,
Why not a Masters in Political Science?
With the bare passing marks,,,
,,,and the best thing is this degree even suits his face,,,
l am wondering what will suit your face?
l mean, can this poor man not even joke with you sir?
Of course he can,,,
So, it's final then,,, MBA,,, 1st class with distinction,,,
That's nice,,,
Here, Congratulations,
Dude, you've actually passed!
Here, laddoos!
Choose (Excuse) me Madam?
Why?
l want toilet,,,
What?
The restroom?
Go Left!
Tell me,,, what are your views on lndia's current foreign policy,
Yeah yeah okay, fine,,,
This policy giving electric current to Common man,,,
but common man's home no electric current everyday,,,
no tv, no tubelight, no water ,,, but foreign, full day current,,,
full day tv, full day tubelight, full day water,,,
water?
Mr, Verma did you not screen everyone?
What kind of people have you called?
ln this exercise you have to convince my colleague Mr, Gupta,,,
,,,to buy this product from you,
Sir, these are our LED lights,
200% more energy efficient than other brands,
The best investment for your house,
- Sir, just take na sir, - What?
- Lights sir, - What is this?
Sir, just take it no,,, My brother's really sick,
Arre but,,,
Sir, please try and understand sir,,, my brother is sick,,,
l need this sale,,, sir, please try and understand,,, Lights sir!!!
Are you crazy?
C'mon man, this is not right
Are you mad?
Lights!
A girl can turn a lion into a mouse,,,
This gentleman had gone from being a hitman to being a target!
Please leave,,, you can run some other company into losses,,,
Your brains and your degree don't match,,,
Sir, we need our product sold, not our company,
This certificate is 100% fake,,,
l must applaud your confidence,,,
Do you even know how to spell 'executive'?
lf l make you a manager, even the peon's will demand this job,,,
Sell this degree and buy a beggar's bowl,,, now take a hike!
Wish you were temple priest
Everyday would be a feast,
lt'd rain loose change,
ln your plate,
Wish you were a lowly beggar
A regular cash peddler
Never a borrowed penny,
would rest, in your plate
Bro, these palms need some greasing
Some greens would be pleasing,
Give me some cream, give me some cream,
A bland cake is not appeasing,
O Brother! Oh my! Oh my! O Brother
Holy mother,,, My Oh, My Oh, O Holy mother!
O Brother! Oh my! Oh my! O Brother
Holy mother,,, My Oh, My Oh, O Holy mother!
Are you missing some action in your life?
Has your gun become just a showpiece?
ls your rocket, lonely in your pocket?
Do your curtains fall, before the big climax?
Yes? Then you need STAND UP 32, an ayurveda miracle,,,
,,,now light a flame in every lonely lamp,
l have never seen such a lame actor,,,
l can act better than this!
Hey, bloody winter chill,
Freakin', climb down the hill!
Why don't you run to Agra?
But our luck, truly sucks
The Taj Mahal, when in sight,
Just then, the wallet's feeling light,
Stay away, lil shmuck you're a slimy lil snake!
Lightning struck, on your truck don't shiver, when you shake!
But still, if you need something you will let me know,,, okay?
No my child, you've already done so much for me,,,
,,,tell me will you take tea?
Of course!
l don't get it man,,,
l never thought it will be so difficult to get a bloody job,
What ya?
l dress well,,, l speak good English,,,
you know,,,
That's why you aren't getting a job,
What do you mean?
You're not really what you're trying to look like,
Just be yourself!
lf your clothes or English mattered,,,
,,,forget me, no girl would fall for you,
When did that happen?
What?
Meaning, you,,, have fallen for me?
Uncle, this is Dev,
Okay, he works with you?
No,,, He's looking for work these days,
Looks like you're rehabilitating him also,
No uncle,,,
,,,he's my boyfriend,
Just a minute!
ls this true? What you just told uncle,
What?
Meaning,,, am l your boyfriend?
Why, are you not?
l am,,, since day 1 !
Me too!,,,
Stupid,
Why do you want to sell life insurance?
You're an MBA,,, with distinction that too,
Sir, l think l've begun understanding life sir,
How's that?
Sir, l've always lived a poor man's life,
l've led a meagre life,,,
but now l think l see some prosperity coming my way,
l have a brother who hurl's expletives without warning,
and would lay down his life, without asking,
l even have a girlfriend sir,
Sir, she loves me so much that l've begun loving my life too,
lf one has such a special life, there must be a high price on it,
And Life lnsurance is exactly that,
Then why did you do an MBA?
Sir, l didn't want to,,,
,,,my brother - Tutu, he made me do it,,, with a gun to my head,
MBA?
Welcome to 'Life Guardians'
We will thrive, dead or alive!
Oye mister,,,
Heartiest Congratulations!
O Brother! Oh my! Oh my! O Brother
Holy mother,,, My Oh, My Oh, O Holy mother!
O Brother! Oh my! Oh my! O Brother
Holy mother,,, My Oh, My Oh, O Holy mother!
O Brother! Oh my! Oh my! O Brother
Holy mother,,, My Oh, My Oh, O Holy mother!
O Brother! Oh my! Oh my! O Brother
Holy mother,,, My Oh, My Oh, O Holy mother!
Thanks for inaugurating my innings man,
What thanks?
We're doing this for our own life right?
And you, my friend are our life!
l am just 27 man, Why do l need insurance?
Sir, you're 27 now,,,
then when you are 72 you will wonder why didn't l get insured at 27?
Times are bad sir,,, this lemon soda could be poisoned,,,
,,,these mosquitoes could give you malaria, right?
You must travel a lot too, right,,, you especially need insurance, no?
Sir, the times are really bad, anything can happen,
Ya ya, give it to me,,,
Hell-O!
Come away with me,,,
Where to?
To our Papa!
Holy Mother,,,!
Yes! Your, and mine,,, get there,,, now!!
Hey, listen,,,
Namaste Bhaiyaji!
Later then,,,
How are you Bhaiyaji?
Alive, by your grace,,,
,,,how are you, angry young man?
l'm good Bhaiyaji,
Guys, l thought long & hard,,,
,,,every big corporate gives its star performers star treatment,,,
l'm promoting you,,,
Senior assassin Dev,,,
Senior assassin Tutu,,,
,,,and a raise, from 1 lac per head to 2 lac per head,,,
,,,salary double, working hours, the same,
Bhaiyaji, this is too much,
What's too much?
l pay this guy 50 grand for shooting flies,,,
,,,at least you guys are shooting people,
Thank you Bhaiyaji, Who's this guy?
His social service is causing trouble in our minister's area,
He's the solitary bone in the minister's pie,,,
,,,and our minister likes his pie boneless,
So please lessen this bone,
He's a good man isn't he Bhaiyaji?
But of course,
He's sacrificing his life so that we can earn our living,
Of course he's a good man,
Think again my child,,,
what you're getting her for killing one guy,,,
,,,you won't make even if you kill yourself all year,
Shall we?
Good Boy!
Selling insurance to the youth,,,
lt's not easy,,,
,,,very good!
l'm really impressed,
Thank you sir!
This is your first commission!
Do you like how l look?
Do you feel like touching?
Don't even think about it!
l have started liking you very much!
Yes, my dear, tell me,
l'm cornered man,,, l need you,
What happened bro?
Too many people, too few bullets,
Don't cut the call, l'm on my way,
1 5 minutes,,, that's all you and l have,
l'll get there, Just stay out of their sight!
Sir,,, does this gentleman belong to you?
You're lucky that l've quit the gun, or life would've quit you by now,
And here l was thinking, this is a strange problem man,,,
l hope Disha doesn't find out that l was a bad man once,
,,,and l hope that Bhaiyaji doesn't find out that l'm a good man now!
l'm just saying,
lf you're going to get screwed,,,
,,,what does the size of the screw matter?
Dev,,, bro,,, Dev,,,
Who is it?
lt's me Batuk,,,
Bhaiyaji's right hand,
He's sent you a gift,
Put it on the table, And listen,,,
- Ya! - Don't flick anything from there,
Bloody dog,
You're a dog,,, your father's a dog!
'Life Guardians',
No no sir, it's not complicated,
Just an lD proof, a bank statement and your insurance will be done,
Okay!
Thank you for calling Life Guardians,
We will thrive, dead or alive,
You will thrive my boy!
You don't trust me Bhaiyaji,,,
l've seen it with my eyes,,, heard it,
You can shoot me, if it's not true Bhaiyaji,
l will, you won't have to tell me,
l'll try with a new number, Hear it for yourself,
Tell me Dev's number,
8826914371
l know it by heart,
Hello,
Hello! ls this Mr, Dev?
Yes, this is Dev,
l got your number from a client of yours,,,
l need an insurance policy,
Of course, l'll set it up,
Where's your office by the way?
lt's in New Delhi, the Galgotia towers,,,
,,,our office is on the 4th floor,
Okay, l'll see you tomorrow,
Or you can call me, and l'll come see you,
Okay,
Okay! Thank you for calling the Life guardians,
We will thrive, dead or alive,
Thrive away, my boy!
Do you remember how to fire a gun still?
l do Bhaiyaji,
Your reservation is confirmed,
Please proceed to the baggage area,
Hello,
Where are you?
Outside, drinking sherbet,,,
Why are you not in office?
Arre l'm right outside office,,,
Let's meet,,,
Ya, we're meeting in the evening na?
Nope, right now,,,
Now? Where?
Leave right now!
Whaat?
Leave right away! Bye!
Why here, at Kutub Minar?
lf we were in Paris, it would've been the Eiffel tower,,,
,,,if in Agra, then the Taj Mahal,,,
- ,,,and if in Mumbai - The Taj Mahal hotel?
God-gifted you are!
All the crazy decisions l've taken in life, started out here,,,
,,,the decision to quit medicine,,,
,,,to refuse dad's business, and to start reforming criminals,,,
,,,to break up with my last boyfriend and kick him out,,,
,,,all those decisions,,, right here,
So what decision are you going to take today?
Today, you are going to make a decision, not me,
You're not just fooling around with me right?
Are you high?
Then straighten me out,,, tell me the truth,
lf you want to leave me, do it today,,,
Don't wait for tomorrow
,,,because l'm really serious about us,
lf you leave me today, l'll handle it,,,
,,,but any later,,,
l'll not be able to take it Dev,
Any later,,,?
l'll not be able to take it, even if you leave me today,,,
So do you wanna get married?
Will you?
You will!
A dream has stirred awake from slumber
An epic waits to unfold
The rain is bathing itself in her beauty,
The waters shimmer in flames of gold,
The damned, are now the blessed,
Who find, good deeds to be wretched,
What do l do? What do l do, love?
This fully clad body, by a naked soul is possessed,
l can feel the warm embrace of life again,
This heart has got its lost love back,
l've spent many insipid nights and days,
You've breathed back the flavours, l lack,
Drifters, alike, we were,
Our wandering, too, was akin
Unwise, we always err,
But this madness, is difficult to pin,
Prostrated, l sing prayers, far & wide,
ln the city my beloved occupies,
You earn yours here, prayer by prayer,
God blesses for free; lt's lies
A dream has stirred awake from slumber
An epic waits to unfold
The rain is bathing itself in her beauty,
The waters shimmer in flames of gold,
l can feel the warm embrace of life again,
This heart has got its lost love back,
Drifters, alike, we were,
Our wandering, too, was akin
Unwise, we always err,
But this madness, is difficult to pin,
Prostrated, l sing prayers, far & wide,
ln the city my beloved occupies,
You earn yours here, prayer by prayer,
God blesses for free; lt's lies
When a dog goes rabid,,,
,,,he has to be put down,
And Dev's gone totally rabid,
So, Bhaiyaji should l put Dev down?
lf Tutu,,, l mean,,, if he finds out,,,
He'll kill me Bhaiyaji,
- Will he find out? - No Bhaiyaji,
He will not,
You're going to lose your cherry today,,,
,,,carry a charm,
Do you want a kiss or coffee?
Coffee,
Okay!
Yes Bhaiyaji,
ls Dev there?
He's gone out Bhaiyaji,
l was inside,,, l don't know what the guys said to Batuk,,,
,,,he's left blabbering that he's going to finish Dev,,,
,,,and carve a place for himself,,,
,,,so l need you to handle it,,,
Just handle them!
Dev! Pick up the phone Dev,
Hello,
My heart felt wishes on your union,
Who's this?
l'm your well wisher,,,
,,,don't hang up, this is for your benefit,
What do you want?
l just wanted to know what is it that you eat everyday,,,
,,,that has made you blind to such lies,
What lies?
The lie that your darling Dev is living, but you can't see,
How do you know Dev?
l know Tutu also,
What do you know?
Nice! Now that's cheating,,,
,,,you need to try harder and figure this riddle out,
Okay,,, Let me give you a hint,
What was Dev's past, is now Tutu's present,
So now if you want to find out what Dev used to be,,,
,,,you need to find out what Tutu is,
Gotta hang up now,,, already spent a bomb,
Dev! What's going on l just got a phone call?
Hey Dev,,,
,,,your ticket's confirmed now,
What was Dev's past, is now Tutu's present,
So now if you want to find out what Dev used to be,,,
,,,you need to find out what Tutu is,
When l talk to her,,,
l want to be able to look into her eyes, not shy away,
The day she finds out 'what you are' she won't even spit in your face,
A pawn,,,
,,,is carefully brought to the eigth row,,,
,,,so that he can make way for the Queen,
Welcome Dev,
Madam this dead man, do you know him?
No sir,
Any idea,,, who shot him?
No sir, we were inside packing our bags when he heard the shots,
When we came out he was lying here,
l called the ambulance first, then we called you, That's all sir,
Alright, lf we need you we will call you again,
Rest l've already discussed the details with your dad,
Okay?,,, Take care,
- Thank you sir, - Let's go!
Sit,
Listen to me carefully,
l am no longer indebted to you,,,
Today l've paid all your favours back,
We're done,
What you do after today,,, is your problem,
What l will do, is only my problem,
You can keep what was yours in this relationship,,,
l've given up what was mine,,,
,,,there is no 'US' anymore,
l've said what l wanted to,,,
,,,and l want to hear nothing you will want to say,
lt's all over man,,,
You can never tell what's going on in someone's head,
He was a good cook though,
Anyway, it must've been his time to go,,,
,,,let's worry about the one who's time it's going to be,
Your faces tell me, you know him,
Babban Pehelwaan,
He's a tough nut Bhaiyaji,
lt's not like we're angels,
Somewhere, stuck, lies a moment,
Entwined in the threads of time, perhaps,
Where there's a heart, there will be ache,
There's no remedy for this, perhaps,
What are you looking at, never seen a handsome man before?
C'mon interview me,
For a job?
For a girl,
Tutu, you were right, a swine should stick to feasting on just crap,
Trying a cake, will give it nothing but diarrhoea,
Madam,
And here l was thinking, this is a strange problem man,,,
l hope Disha doesn't find out that l was a bad man once,,,
,,,and l hope that Bhaiyaji doesn't find out that l'm a good man now!
The stars are spent, My love,
Smudged black, this night sky,
You work so hard to reform criminals,,,
,,,and you've reformed so many of them,,,
,,,you reformed one guy accidentally,,,
,,,but you probably didn't realize it,,,
Bad bloody luck, Can't get enough of it,
Blinded, l can see no more, through
The cobwebs spun in my eye,
Bruised, by the chores of the heart, Love
What is it?
Get lost,
l never meant to hurt you,,,
,,,but still l am sorry for all the trouble,
Just pray l don't shoot someone today,
Still, nothing is sweeter than her memories
Rid me of this hamper of agonies,
l lost you because l used to take lives,,,
Bruised, by the chores of the heart, Love
,,,maybe lf l give up my own, l could get you back,,,
Battered, l'm, by the chores of the heart
Dev!!
Deeeeeevvvv!!
What happened?!
l don't know what tomorrow holds,,, but you take care,
Sweeta my Sweeta, without you
Darker than the night, are my days,,, without you
Dev!
Life hands a messy deal
Lifetimes, bartered for split seconds
l'm Baavraa, Baavraa,,, the crazy heart,
Life hands a messy deal
Lifetimes, bartered for split seconds
l'm Baavraa, Baavraa,,, the crazy heart,
Where's Dev?
We're at the hospital!
What is wrong with you guys?
Death does not scare me, but,
Without you, it would be an ordeal
lf it is life l must endure, then too
Without you, it would be an ordeal
ln my heart l house,
A trembling flame,
As l take your leave,,,
Life hands a messy deal
Lifetimes, bartered for split seconds
l'm Baavraa, Baavraa,,, the crazy heart,
Life hands a messy deal
Lifetimes, bartered for split seconds
l'm Baavraa, Baavraa,,, the crazy heart,
Excuse me madam,,,
,,,have we met before?
The bugger is flirting again,
By God, you are god-gifted,
l love you!
Dear Bhaiyaji, any last wish,
All my life, l've pulled out many a pictures from my pocket,,,
Just never thought my picture will land up here,
lf you want to shoot,,, shoot,
Don't stare and waste my time,
Blood runs down the iron sky,
The sun starts to melt to gold,
An evening slowly sinks behind us,
A morning will silently, unfold,
What did you do before this?
Before this l was a mur,,,!
Mar,,, marketer sir!
lf you were a marketer why did you do an MBA?
Sir, actually,,,
,,,my little brother and his wife forced me to,
l concede, Love is not a slave to the world
All is well, if the heart is brave & bold
A defeat at the hands of love, l accept,
My man, this is the chance
To burn-n-soar, this is your chance
The miracle of love, a pyre that turns you into fire
When the pyre turns you to fire,,, Sanidha pa,,,
Nakhriley, these coy & thirsty,
These two, inebriated
Eyes,,, have
rained on me,
Nakhriley, these coy & thirsty,
These two, inebriated
Eyes,,, have
rained on me,
Orphans, need no kith and kin,
but for their hearts
Awaken me from your penance
lf l am yours, show your miracles,
Hey swindler, your deceptive, hoodwinking
eyes,,,
When the pyre turns you to fire,,,
Sanidha pa,,,
Nakhriley, these coy & thirsty,
These two, inebriated
eyes,,, have
rained on me,
These stories,,, wrench our hearts
These bonds,,, wrench our hearts
There's no tale that doesn't wrench the heart
Let me breathe, in the vicinity of your eyes,
Let me bask in the air, where your presence lies,
With every word you say, l rejuvenate,
The seasons in my eyes, one by one, alternate
Seasons of chills Seasons of warmth
You're the chill You're the warmth
Flare, l will, thirst, l will,,, let me burn in this fire,,,
Nakhriley, these coy & thirsty,
These two, inebriated
eyes,,, have
rained on me,
Nakhriley, these coy & thirsty,
These two, inebriated
eyes,,, have
rained on me,
Cheers!