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Like this, boss,
That’s how it go,
King of Beers, Clink it up,
King of Beers,
WOMAN (on TV): I would like to introduce
this bill of sale as Defense Exhibit A,
That’s what I would do, too,
MAN (on TV): ,,,were involved in something more frivolous,
Well, there are those of us
who still side with the establishment,
-(gavel bangs) -Case dismissed,
Have you been saved?
CHRISTMAS: That’s Anne-Claire,
Loves her Jesus, She ain’t got but one eye,
Have you been saved?
(chuckles): He forgot to open the damn beer can,
Please? I get so scared talking in front of strangers,
What kind of evangelist does that make you?
Real bad one,
All right, well, just hold my hand,
| Out of sight in the night, Out of sight,,, |
What the hell they trying to teach you, trust?
Try that in the real world,
Get up, now,
Get up,
Get going, Come on,
-(laughing) -No, no, no,
-No, No, no, -(Smash grunting, laughing)
We never gonna get to Jamboree like this,
Shouldn’t have taken them,
They’re ruining everything,
They’re even bigger losers than I am,
Oh, you’re right,
Enjoy your suspension,
-CHRISTMAS: Ow! -(laughter)
-Wow, -Stay down, bed wetter,
RAYLEEN: We do not stay down
because they tell us to, Christmas,
That is a "no, ma’am,"
DJ (over radio): It’s rockin’ WZPZ Rock,
Coming up, David Bowie’s "Rebel Rebel,"
(intro to "Rebel Rebel" plays)
(chuckles): My dear and holy God,
| You’ve got your mother in a whirl |
| She’s not sure If you’re a boy or a girl |
| Hey, babe, your hair’s all right |
| Hey, babe, let’s go out tonight |
| They put you down, They say I’m wrong |
| You tacky thing, You put them on |
| Rebel Rebel |
| You’ve torn your dress |
| Rebel Rebel, your face is a mess |
| Rebel Rebel |
| How could they know? |
| Hot tramp, I love you so |
| Don’t ya? |
They are judging us, Do you understand?
Act right,
Now,,,
you have all worked so hard to get here,
and that work is not gonna stop now,
because this,,, this is the place
where we’re gonna see the best of the best,
And who knows? There may be a little bit of
international prestige in with this as well,
-(applause) -Uh, Dr, Persad,
Young ladies are here on this Earth
to create beauty wherever they set their feet,
So go on, now,
Show us your gifts,
We’re gonna begin with Troop 28 from Moultrie,
Let’s do this, (chuckles)
Knock-knock, Who’s there?
-(chuckles) The Holy Spirit, -MAN: Amen,
Y’all, get ready for Troop 17 from Alberta,
| Am I a soldier of the cross |
| A follower of the lamb |
-| And shall I fear,,, | -(applause)
The reigning champions of Jamboree need no introduction,
Please welcome Troop Five from Wiggly,
You funna puke, Anne-Claire?
I get nervous in front of strangers,
Look, you funna puke,
just reach out, and one of us will hold your hand, okay?
(music ends, crowd cheering)
Whatever you do, don’t lose the song,
We got this, boos,
-Y’all my boos, -(chuckling)
All right, quit,
Funna give me lice,
How precious, (chuckles)
Oh, you still ain’t got no eye,
Well, you ain’t got no talent, you snake from hell!
-(girls gasping) -Come on,
EMCEE: Next up, we have a new troop,
A troop that is, uh, a number that I didn’t know
was a real number (laughs) until today,
Please welcome, uh,
-Troop Zero from Wiggly, -(applause)
-RAMSEY: Yeah! (whoops) -RAYLEEN: All right!
Come on!
(intro to David Bowie’s "Space Oddity" plays)
| Ground Control to Major Tom |
-(quiet laughter) -Why are they singing?
| Take your protein pills |
| And put your helmet on |
-(whispers): Is that a boy? -Ten,
-JOSEPH: | Ground Control | -Nine,
-| To Major Tom | -Eight, Seven,
-Six, Five, -| Commencing countdown |
-(laughter) -| Engines on |
Four,
-Three, -(sighs)
Two,
-JOSEPH: | Check ignition | -One,
-| And may God’s love | -Liftoff!
| Be with you |
| This is Major Tom to Ground Control |
| I’m stepping through the door |
| And I’m floating in a most |
-| Peculiar way | -(chuckling)
-Well, this is unusual, -| And the stars |
| Look very different today |
Yeah, she’s unusual,
-| This is Ground Control | -(laughter)
| To Major Tom |
-| You’ve really made the grade | -GIRL: You stink!
-| And the papers | -Get off the stage, you weirdos!
| Want to know whose shirts |
-| You wear | -RAMSEY: Watch your mouth, girl,
-One-eyed freak! -(laughter)
-Shh, Stop it, -| Now it’s time |
(quietly): | To leave the capsule,,, |
(distorted, echoing laughter)
GIRL: Hey, bed wetter!
GIRL: He’s not a girl!
Huh-uh, Uh, s-stop that music,
Don’t give up, boss,
(crowd murmuring, groaning)
GIRL: Ew, That is disgusting,
GIRL: Get off the stage,
You turn that back on,
-Turn that back on, -Rayleen, stop,
Enough,
My name is Christmas Flint,
I am a human female,
Sometimes I pee myself when I get nervous,
I don’t know why,
I don’t want to,
I just want to tell you,,,
I hope,,,
,,,hope you live a good life,
And I hope you have a friend,
I hope you got everything I got,
| Ground Control to Major Tom |
| Your circuit’s dead |
| There’s something wrong |
| Can you hear me, Major Tom? |
-(crowd gasping) -PIPER: Oh, my God!
-(gags) -(music resumes) -They nasty!
-| Can you hear me, Major Tom? | -They nasty!
| Can you hear me, Major Tom? |
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
| Can you hear me, Major Tom? |
-(Smash giggling) -(crowd gasps, groans)
-(both laughing) -| Can you hear me, Major Tom? |
| Can you hear me, Major Tom? |
-(laughs) Yeah! -(whooping)
-Yeah! -(whoops)
Oh, my boos! Kill, kill, kill!
Yeah! That’s my boy,
PERSAD: If there’s life out there, they’ll know about you,
("Johnny B, Goode" by Chuck Berry playing)
| Deep down in Louisiana |
-| Close to New Orleans | -Ah, yeah!
| Way back up in the woods Among the evergreens |
| There stood a log cabin Made of earth and wood |
| Where lived a country boy Named Johnny B, Goode,,, |
CHRISTMAS: We didn’t win, but it don’t matter none,
’cause Dwayne stole the trophies from Troop Five,
| Go, Johnny, go, go |
| Johnny B, Goode,,, |
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