Mandar never took a love bullet
Grazed him only and on its way
But today it found the center of the heart
So they say,
When a hunter takes a bullet,
his entire life fast-forwards in flashback right in front of his eyes!
Mandar,,,all your friends are now married,,,
It's time you got married too!
Who wants marriage,,,am I mad?
My cheerful friends are regretting today!
Look, either fall in love and get married
Else we will arrange a girl for you,,,
If you delay more, all you get is a divorcee!
Hey, this one's sleepy,,, lets go,,,
Think about it Mandar
Alright Mandar, lets go,,,
Finish your dinner
No,,,I want to drink some more,,,
C'mon guys,,,let's go out ,,,
and drink a little more
No,,,Early morning I need to queue up for my kid's school admission,,,
lets do this tomorrow
Can't do tomorrow,,,have a date,,,
Two months in the making,
Don't you ever tire of this dating business?
Why should I? It's a physical need,
And aren't emotional needs important?
Do me a favor, get married,,,
Procreate,,,have fun
And then get them married too!
It's simple,,,
Marriage, whether arranged or otherwise,,,
Never confuse love and sex,,,
Sex is a physical need,,,
So there's no question of boredom,,,
Since the day of my birth, I've been taking a crap right?
It's a physical act,,, a necessity,,,
Have I been bored with that,,,
Have you ever been bored with it?
I am serious guys,,,no jokes,,,
A good early morning crap
always readies you for a great day!
Till your very last breath,
a good crap makes you feel great,,,
It's a physical act ,,, It's a necessity,,,
So it's the same with sex,,,
So no question of boredom!
One more
Very noisy,,,
It's very noisy
Ya,,,
Can I buy you a drink?
Sure Rum & Coke,,,
Hello Boss,,,
Boss,,,One rum & coke
Hey Uncle,,,
One rum and coke for me as well,
Buzz off Rohan
Shut up bitch,,,
Please uncle
Hey uncle why don't you find an aunty to buy a drink?
Stop it friends,,,
Why are you smiling?
Shall I break your teeth?
Chill guys, chill
Are you crazy,,, I said sorry right?
Oh wait Uncle,,,
Where are you off to?
I need that rum and coke,,,
I have aged dude!
Can't even get a proper 'date',,,
Mom-Dad keep pestering too,,,
Maybe I should just settle down!
You and marriage?
With who?
No idea, Mom-Dad will find someone
Arranged match?
Listen to me, don't get into this arranged match shit!
You are incorrigibly horny!
Whoever you meet - you will try to bed!
Guys like you should never get married
You see I was never in love,
Some casual affairs is what I indulged in,,,
Actually "some" is an understatement,,,
Padmini,,,
Listen,,,hello,,,Padmini,,,
At least finish your coffee,,,Padmini
I don't want to brag about anything but,,,
These are all dated things,,,
doesn't matter,,,
What difference does it make? Right?
No,,,it does matter
Yeah,,,
Some casual affairs,,,
But seriously now I want to settle down,,,
One,,,
Two,,,yeah two affairs,,,
Nothing serious,,,just something Casual when I was in college,,,
I went and met three girls,
All of them rejected me
Yusuf bro, what the heck is happening in life,,,its pathetic!
What else were you expecting dude?
"Arranged marriage" is the playground of decent folks
What's a typical decent bloke say?
I loved a girl but couldn't express It to her
Girl's impressed, boy passes, Savvy?
I have always given Mandar the right advice
But when a man is this flawed what can be done?
I loved a girl in school but could not profess to her
So you never had an ongoing affair?
Never,,,
Liar
With this lie began his downfall
Rightly so!
So the story is of my cousin MANDAR PONKSHE,
A wee bit personal,
But its so much fun peeking into others' personal lives!
Why stop at the nails?
Eat the entire hand! Idiot!
Hey,,,
You donkey, sit down!
Every summer vacation, Mandar's dad
Would drop me and Mandar off at Indira auntie's
so that we could spend vacation time with our little cousins!
However there was one cousin who was not so little -
Oyee,,,,Hey Mandar,,,,
KSHITIJ!
You've finally arrived!
Hey, what are you upto?
Raised in the next door village,
He was a year younger to me
and a year older to Mandar
- Offspring of a monkey - Look what KSHITIJ is upto,,
Hey mad monkey, what are you doing?
Go into the bathroom and piss!
Grandma,,,I am watering this withering tree,,,
You should try it too sometime!
Donkey,,,
Trees don't care much for salty water
Kshitij was an ace of creating a ruckus,
To discipline him, his parents enrolled him In BHOSLA MILITARY SCHOOL,
So that his life would come on the right track
How much you piss man,,
Saline water
fed to parched trees
this trio, trio, trio
create streams of water
on demand
this trio, trio, trio
smooth as a swan
Two's company
Three's crowd
Dilip
What,,,
Hey Dilip,,,
Speak on dude!
Your dad named you after the superstar Dilip Kumar right?
When you already know it, why waste my time with your inane questions?
In which case Mandar,,,
We should address him by the superstar's 'Real' name!
YUSUF,,,,,
What do you say?
Salutations to you brother Yusuf,,,
Peace be upon you!
God has willed it!
Guys please,,,
Celebrate-A-Piss!
Such a distinct pleasure to relieve one's warm fluids into these cold waters!
Ughhh,,,Kshitij,,,
Hey Yusuf, come on in and join the fun!
Technically speaking Kshitij was our nephew,,,,
However one could not fathom why he was in such a hurry to become our brother-in-law!
Grandma,,,
Aren't we allowed to marry our nieces like the Mormons?
Yes that's true,,,
Who do we want to get married?
Dilip and Surekha!
Wont you marry her Yusuf?
Dilip!
You are just a kid!
And you want to get married?
Don't you have other things to do?
And YOU, Focus on your studies!
Are you in the business of getting people married?
Rehana,,,
I am in love with her,,,
Really,,, girlfriend?
Nope, not a girlfriend,,,
She is a school mate,,,
,,,but i will marry only her, not Surekha!
It's ok then
It's good that we re-christened you Yusuf,,,
Now Rehana's folks won't have issues with you
Listen,,,,
May Yusuf and Rehana live happily ever after, strongly hereafter and forever and ever,,,
Whatever for?
But who will marry poor Surekha?
You do it,,,
After all she's your niece too
I don't think so!
Alright,,,I will marry her!
Dudes how can he marry?
He is too young,,,underage
Underage?
I am just a year younger to you,,,
Really,,,
Can't even scrub your own back,,,
And want to get married!
So what,,,?
That's what a wife is for,,,
Hmmm,,,really,,,ok,,,you are 100% sure right,,,
Hey Surekha,,,Surekha
Hey listen, listen,,,
We are in our underwear right?
Were you planning on getting your wife to scrub your back with clothes on?
That was our last vacation together,,,
We were growing up too fast,,,
And that night, Mandar's wonderstruck eyes proved that he had grown up as well,,,
He too had finally 'starched' his bedsheet!
Mandar,,,
On your way back from office today, show this ring to the goldsmith
He will tell you if its 'junion' or not
I am sorry,,,what?
'Junion' or not,,,
If the carats are up to snuff or not
Mom,,,what 'junion'? GENUINE!
Yeah, yeah that's what I said,,,
And when are you bringing the invitation cards over,,,
Did Tripti like the design?
Theirs is such a rock solid design!
Our neighbor took a sample,
saying she would 'jhorax' it,,,
Not 'Jhorax', its 'Jherox'!
Not Jherox Dad, its XEROX!
And Dad can you come out of the loo please,,,,
else I will start producing color XEROXes out here,,,
and Mom I am not going to any goldsmith's, you do all of that,
I was going to go,
but now I have to go to the airport ,,,
since you won't go,,,
So someone has to maintain cordial relations with our relatives,,,
Did you even check with me if I was free,,,
Shot of your mouth to Aparna and her husband!
'Mandar will go to the airport to pick up',,,,
You don't even know who is arriving,,,, DAD !!!
I did tell you that Shobha is coming,,,
Aparna was referring to her as,,,,
Shobha "enty"
AUNTIE
Yeah, whatever Aparna said, I am conveying,,,
You better 'comfom' with your sister!
Yeah I will 'comfom' with her, not CONFIRM,,,
Mom, I don't even know this lady
and I am going to the airport to pick her up!
Aparna is 'posting' her photo onto your computer right,,,
Check it out,,,
Shobha,,,isn't she the same one,,,
Divorcee! Who is having an affair with someone else?
There's going to be a messy affair right here if you don't step out,,,
You always occupy the loo when it's time for me to go to work!
Yeah Tripti,,,
Did you reach your office?
Listen,,,
We will have to cancel our movie plans for the evening,,,
I have to go to the airport to pick up someone,
My brother-in-law's aunt,,,, some,,, Shobha Aunty,,,
She is arriving from Canada,
So have to go pick her up,
No, she is going to Bangalore,,,
But there wasn't a direct flight,,,
Hence Mom had this brilliant idea to receive her here,,,
Yeah she will be all alone in Mumbai,
Hence I am going to bring her home,,,
Now what to do of mom,,,
Sir, Sir,,,your floor has arrived,
The next flight for her is tomorrow night,,,
So I will be picking her up and bringing her home,,,
Nice,,,
Very Nice,,
Ok listen Tripti,,,
Why don't you come along,,,
I will have some company as I wait,,, we can kill some time together,,,
So you are coming right,,,
Super, Super,,,
I loved a girl in school but could not profess to her
So you never had an ongoing affair?
Never,,,
See,,,Actually,,,I have,,,
Tripti,,,Subhadra,,,
Sorry what?
Subhadra,,,her real name is,,,Jhanvi,,,
She's Subhadra,,,the TV show actress,,,
of YOU INCH CLOSE TO ME fame
You watch TV Soaps?
No I don't,,,Mom does and while eating dinner, I,,,
You call your mother MOM?
No I call her "Aai"
How much rent do you pay?
Inclusive of parking about 30
So if we were to get married,,,
That is if you like me
And you me,,,
So I stay with mom,,, mother & father,,,
Hopefully that isn't an issue with you?
No, I think it would be better if we had our own apartment,,,
But it also depends on how your mother is,,,how is she?
I haven't thought too much about all these things
So am I the first one you are meeting as part of this arranged match setup?
No, no,,,you're the second,,,
Which has gotten me thinking,,,
Not that i was forced into this,,,
But not getting any younger right!
And you?
I feel very young
You are the fourth
I have met three others before you
Idiot
BTW what is the market rate of this model?
Must be expensive, yes?
Are you a miser?
No,,,this,,,you know I keep losing my instruments,
hence an inexpensive model
Alright then, listen,,,
I've had a few relationships prior
and one was rather serious,,,
We were even engaged to each other,
However things did not quite work out between us,,,and then I was in a,,,
That's ok,,,Tripti
It makes no difference
Really?,,,
But no,,,the earlier one perhaps had an issue with this,
Hence had turned me down,,,
Are you sure it does not make a difference?
I mean I understand,,,
Cause the guy before you was also a bit like you,,,
Never had been in a relationship before
and hence for guys like you,
In this arranged marriage scenario, expect a girl that is,,,
You know,,,I mean
Basically,,,
Pristine pure types?
You are 100% a watcher of TV Soaps,,,
I am not pristine pure from miles afar!
Have you seen this film?
Was the original better than this remake?
Haven't seen the original
Why?
It was a sold out show
and there weren't scalpers around either,
Uncle do you have any spare tickets?
NO,,
Uncle do you have any spare tickets?
Got tickets?
No, Get lost
Excuse me
You have extra ticket?
Black?
Do I look a scalper to you?
Hey Surya,,,
Surya,,,
Whassup dude,,, Here to watch a flick?
No bud,,, Going to the supply store,,,
To buy chart paper,,, You?
Came here to watch a flick,,,
I bunked my tutoring class,,,
- Ok,,, Bye - Wanna come along,,,
No,,, Bye
Sure, you don't wanna come?
No
Tenner for twenty, tenner for twenty,,,
Tenner for twenty,,, Hey you, AGNEEPATH?,,,wanna watch?
QUEEN OF LUST
Brothers,,,
Messing around is strictly disallowed,,,
If I catch anyone going Hammer and tongs on their dicks,,,
I will anoint it with Tiger Balm, I warn you,,,
What are you looking at?
Baby mushroom,,,idiot
Sorry,,,sorry
Let me go
Darling,,
What are you doing?
Alright brothers,,, the show's over now,,,
Hey switch on the lights
LIGHTS ON!
No,,,you animal
Hey you, next,,,come on,,,
Sorry sir I didn't know what was going on,,,
Don't know what?
I was misled by the poster,,,
I thought they were showing a 3-D educational film
Hey Gaikwad,,,
He had come to see an educational film apparently,,,
3-D educational film on what - SEX?
How old are you?
Age?
18 running,,,
- 18 running? - Yes sir
Then I am 19,,,
That ok by you?
Spit out the truth!
Sir I'm 15
What are you saying?
Seems awfully high to me,,,
Shall we close the deal,,,
- ,,,on 12? - No sir, I have a very innocent looking face
Shut up!
Give me your phone number
- Home phone? - Yes
Sir we don't have a line at home!
Alright your neighbor's then
Our neighbor is out of town
The neighbor's beneath?
Nobody lives there
Astounding,,,no one lives there?
Yeah no one lives there sir
Alright, give me your address,,,
What sir?
Address, address,,
I will come home,,, meet your parents,,,
I beg you sir, My Dad will throw me out of the house
I will come and explain all your educational pursuits in complete detail
They will ban me from the house, and thrash me too
Fine,,, why don't I explain to them in 3D?
Please, give me one last chance sir
Won't happen again,,,please
Alright go sit there,
No sir, please
Go sit there,,
Think about it no sir,,,
Sit!
SIT!
Enough brother,,,let him go now
This is enough?
For Kids - Its 'Half Ticket'
Oh sir,,,
Finish the job please?
Why?
I can't go outside like this sir?
Are you ashamed to go out,,,
Weren't you ashamed while watching this film?
Please sir,,, I cannot step out like this,,,please
Get lost now,,,
Sir Please sir,,,
OUT
Can you make this any hipper?
My good man, get on with the job!
Watching his bald scalp for long is not going to cause hair to sprout magically!
Shaving one's head off because of dandruff problem,,,
That too without consulting us,,,
Rather baffling!
Dad! Don't you think after crossing a certain maturity threshold,
We should reserve the right to make critical life decisions ourselves?
EAT
(PRAYER SONG)
Just like you
What?
Dandruff treatment
I see,,,
Umm,,,aahhh,,aaahhhh,,,
Let me go,,,
Et tu? Queen of Lust!!
Ass, had you warned me
I wouldn't have gone right!
Stop! Take that cap off
Stupid fellow
Fucking shit, was the entire world watching that Queen?
Whassup Pintya,
A prey to the Queen?
What?
Meaning, what happened here?
Grandpa passed away
Sorry dude
You are hereby named 'Wing Commander',,,Wing Co!
Babes are here,,,Babes are here
Don't reject me,,,
I am a learner
allow me an education
In this temple of temptation
My gun is already loaded
the target too is coded
a restive finger on the trigger
a restless mind untamed and wild
these eyes full of mischief
cooking up antics cheap
Oh my 'Lord of Lust'
Ponkshe HUNTERRRR 303
come kill me
yeah babyyyy
I am the LORD OF LUST
Ponkshe HUNTERRRR 303
Please kill me
Don't be naughty baby
Hi, I'm Mandar
Mandar Ponkshe
Mandy
I want to be friends with you
Why do you want to be friends with her?
Because,,,
Stupid
Don't you rile me so
Come lets duel unto death
My gun is point 303
My motto is Buy one get one free
This is the Hunter's lullaby
sung by all fair ladies
Oh my 'Lord of Lust'
You idiot,,,can't you see
How dare you touch me,,,pervert
Ponkshe HUNTERRRR 303
kill me please
yeah babyyyy
Ponkshe HUNTERRRR 303
please kill me
Why?
Why do you want to be my friend?
Because I like you,,,
And you are beautiful
And so sweet,,,
And you know the moment I see you, bells Starts ringing in my cerebral hemisphere,,,
I'm Jigna
Mandy
A gift for you
Thanks,,,
Did you stay up all night to compile this tape for me?
No, Surya had one, I simply made a copy
But you have such a nice script
My sister scribed it for me
So what was your contribution?
The thought,,,
BTW why didn't you accept my friendship the other day?
Because you did not answer Shweta's question
But the answer was so obvious,,,
You know girls love to hear the obvious stated,,,
Never keep things in your heart,,, say it aloud,,,
Oh alright,,,
You know your friend Shweta, I hate her,,,she's annoying
Feel like slapping her,,,
Well I said what was in my heart!
Hungry?
No
Hey tell me,,,
How to reel in the fish!
Well I too have just learnt it
But you know what,,,
Never pursue the best amongst them,,,
In presence of her, always pursue the second best,,,
Chances of netting the fish are higher
What we need is the same,,,
Does it matter if we get it from the best or the second best?
What do you say?
What kind of dumb yarn is that?
Right?
Yeah mom,,,,
I have reached,,,,
What photo?
Yeah sister didn't send any picture,,, must've forgotten,
Oh my goodness,,,
so how will you recognize Shobha?
Don't worry,,,once she lands she will phone home right,,,
Tell her then that I am next to the coffee shop,,,
Why will she call?
She does not know you are going to be there to receive her,,,
No she had already set out when Aparna called us and informed
Mom,,, your planning is all useless,, I am not going to wait here anymore,,,
Now how will I recognize her?
How will you recognize her?
Just a second,,,talk to your Dad
Hello
Alright listen Mandar,,,, I have met Shobha,,,
She is,,,quite ok looking,,,
What do you mean ok looking?
Tell him she looks like SRIRAM
She does not look like Sriram,,,
she looks more like her father,,,
- Her forehead has the same shape - What forehead?
he's bald
Please stop chatting amongst yourselves and give me the details instead,,
Alright Mandar, Shobha looks exactly like Sriram,,,
Her nose is the same as him,,,
and she is quite slim,,,
She's a double chin,,,hardly slim!
- Mandar,,, - Hmmm,,,,
She is slim,,,,
Has a round face,,,
Has long tresses,,,
Which are light brown golden in color,,,
It's artificially colored
Just because you color your hair doesn't mean the world does it too?
I have been coloring my hair for 25 years,,,
I can make out by just a glance what hair is artificially colored and which is not!
Forget it,,, I will find her somehow,,,
Just a second,,,
What's her surname?
Where do they have surnames,,,
What is it now,,,
Shobha Narayan?
Natrajan?
What Natrajan,,,
Drop it,,,I will find her,,bye
There he is,,,
He has become so 'fair and lovely',,,
Didn't recognize him,,,
What wonder creams do they have overseas?
Truly 'fair and lovely'
Hi,,,Sorry,,,
Its ok,,,
actually I had to change into a dress,,,hence was delayed,,,
Why?
What do you think,,,I wear such dresses to work?
Tripti,,,
Can we go to a friend's place before we go to the restaurant?
Just for a little while,,, there's a small party going on,,,
won't take long,,, a quick show of face,,,
Its ok,,,not that necessary,,,its ok,
Lets go
Nine yarder sari is rose colored
Misplaced not to be found
Nine yarder sari is rose colored
Misplaced not to be found
Love of my life beckoned me via SMS
Rush right now to the farmhouse
Reading the SMS I wondered aloud
How could I go thus to the farmhouse?
Come come come come hither
Come come come hither girlfriend
Shall give a rose colored sari to you
Come come come hither girlfriend
Shall get you a matching blouse too
Wing co,,shirt,,
No shirt,,please,,,
Wing co,,shirt,,
What are you doing?
Have you lost mind?
Why didn't you tell me it was their anniversary,,,
We could have bought a gift
I was about to,,,
Henceforth let me know,,
By the way, this was visible all the time,,,
Is it supposed to?
No,,,I came from office directly and I forgot to carry the black one,,,
You should have said something,
How could I with so many people around?
During hostel days we had a code word,,,
RSVP
- RSVP? - Yeah
So whenever anyone said RSVP, everyone would adjust their bras,,,
Does it even mean anything?
Yeah,,, Royal Strap Visible Please
Your friend is so funny,,,
So have you thought anything about us?
This is only our second meeting,,, I don't know
Who is it?
Miaooowwww,,,,
MAY AAAAIIIIII?
So the hubby's at,,,a conference?
That's why I called,
Else once you are married why will you even show?
Me and marriage?
Really!
Come!
Give me that one,
Man, one I should've told the truth I lied to!
Now I have to act as though I am "pristine pure"!
Give me some,
All this is on you!
What did I do?
I asked you to lie?
Next time you see her speak the truth,
Will you never tell her?
Let her say 'Yes' first and we shall see then,
Mandar, Please don't start your 'vaasugiri' on her,
No never, Not a chance, Not with her, I've turned a new leaf,
No faith in you,
You don't get it,
Whoever I did this with were all 'party-packs'!
She's a 'family-pack'
Should I give you a family-pack?
No, no give us cones, This flavor, Two,
Hi Baby!
No Baby!
Yeah Baby!
Wanna meet again tonight?
OK, done!
Meeeowwww!
New leaf?
Well almost,,almost a new leaf,
Some withdrawal symptoms
Right, I emailed you Trupti's picture, did you get that?
Ya,,
She looks like Ms, Ferguson,
Who Ms, Ferguson, The one from Pune, with Kshitij?
Ya
Are you crazy?
She was way different,
Sneha Mazgaonkar
Kshitij I tell ya, babes would see him in his Army uniform and fall all over him,
Kshitij lets go,,,
Look that tree there, seems to be withering,,,
I am in uniform ass,,,
So run up to my hostel and do it
Rickshaw,,,
Kshitij,, you have so many options
can you set few for me?
Hey Kshitij,,
Teach me bro,,give me some tips
Kshitij,,you are my brother man
Yusuf buddy, please don't cry,,
You look worse when you shed tears!
Yes!
Listen,,,
Go to Rehana
and speak your heart to her,,,,
What he couldn't say in ten years,
My balls he will now,,,
In any case she's been hooked!
Like you have told many people,,,
At least I try,,,
Shut up,,,
Look here Yusuf,,,
You just saw her talking to a guy right?
He didn't manhandle her right?
Meaning he hadn't held her hand right?
That doesn't mean she's hooked,,,
Muster the guts and tell her,,,
Where are you off to? You were to leave in the evening right?
I have a meeting,,
With Miss Ferguson
Yusuf look at this guy and learn,,,
There's no such thing as love my brother,,,
What are you smiling about?
You think you are some stud and chicks dig you
Its your uniform that does it,,,
Alright lets get him a uniform stitched,,,
But we will need a lot more cloth for him,,,
What kind of brothers I have!
Hey,,,what are you upto?
- Just need to go a little ahead,,, - Get down I say!
I am in a rush,,,
- Can't find an autorickshaw,,,hence,,, - Get off
Just a little bit further,,,
Brother, brother,,, why don't you carry on,,,
Thank you,,,
Here,,,
Change
No, no,,,
No I insist,,, Please take it,,,
A contribution is a contribution,,,
You come here to swim?
You look it,,,
I mean,,,healthy and fit!
I am Mandar Ponkshe
Yourself?
PARUL,,,
Surname?
Kotak,,,
Parul Kotak, Nice!
Where do you want to get off?
Just look ahead and drive
Don't want a needless accident
But where did you want to get off?
Well actually,
I wanted to talk to you,,,
I want to be friends with you,,,
Why?
Now do I have to spell that out too Ms, Parul Kotak?
But I really respect you!
What if she had refused,,, or hit you,,,
If she'd hit me,,, You conclude she's not interested
Prateek you are such a baby,,,
That was my litmus test bro!
A method behind this madness?
How do you do this bud?
Very simple dude,,,
Just smell a woman's needs
Inhale,,,the scents,
Freaking VAASU (one who sniffs)
Sir you're the God of scents,,, VAASUDEV!
Are you such a big fan of Samantha Fox?
Not of her singing though,
Just her, her fitness!
What's that, there on your neck?
A birthmark?
Don't know
Yes,
I have one too, right here,
One here as well,
They say those with a mole over their hearts are
free spirited,
Very open minded,
Very liberated,
You seem to be very free
and liberated too,,,,
so do you also have a mole over your heart?
Over the heart?
Here?
Yeah,
No I don't know, I don't!
Shall we check?
Now?
Yeah,
Lets check right?
No, lets not,
Why not check?
Someone might,,,
No, no, People have lab work, so no one will!
Nothing here,
Can't make out yet, You'll need to unbutton more,
Excuse me what're you doing?
Looks like nothing here, but having one over the kidney too is lucky!
This is insane
Arrows find mark, by aim or fluke
I can't stay, I can't stay
I can't stay farnished,
Arrows find mark, by aim or fluke
I can't stay, I can't stay
I can't stay farnished,
Dad, I need 2500 bucks,,,
Need to buy a log table,,,
No don't need a chair just the table,
No beauty, nor a nympy
No expensive meals,
Nor soft mattresses,
Not barbecued meat,
For an empty plate, anything goes,
Right, for an empty plate, anything goes,
Whether stale bread or table salt
Pinch of,
pinch of salt will do too!
Someone else's discard
Will be a party for beggars
No major demands made
By the crowd of naked and empty
Just about anything will do A taste is what the body needs
Will fool the mind A taste of food is needed
However thin be the gruel Thicken it with bread crumbs
Little,
a bit
However thin be the gruel Thicken it with bread crumbs
Whether stale bread or table salt
Pinch of,
pinch of salt will do too!
Rule of thumb is simple bro
Low expectations, high intentions
A night unspent on an empty stomach
Boiled rice, steamed veggies
Wee bit of sour curd
Mix in a dash of pickle
No regrets
Whether stale bread or table salt
pinch of salt will do too!
No I am going guys,,,
I am going to beat the crap out of her father,,,
Don't get into this dumb social service,
You don't even know her dude,,,
Anju's Nilima's friend,,
Today Nilima had come with Anju's brother,,,
You know her too,,,
Who is this chick?
You never introduce us properly,,,
You always wave goodbye from afar,,,
Alright, the one who was there today
What the fuck,,,how can a father force himself on his own daughter?
What!? He rapes her?
Mother fucker!
I am going to beat him so,,,
He won't dare touch anyone in the future,,
Why don't we go to the police?
He's influential,,,
Which is why he's getting away with this shit!
Guys,, Do you wanna come along?
else I will handle it myself,
I don't think this is right,,,
right Mandar?
Lets go guys,,, lets scrunch his balls a bit,,,
Lets Bobbit him!
Lets go!
What? Now?
Now
But we are,,,
Alright you guys continue playing, I'm off,,,
Hey Kshitij,,,
Wait a minute,,I am coming,,,
Hey come along,,
Whaa,,,
Kshitij enough bro,,,lets go,,,
Shut up,,,else you will get one too,,,
How dare you assault your own daughter, Bastard!
You,,,
Listen carefully to what I say,,
Look here and listen,,,
If you don't pay heed to what I have said,
I will insert molten rods into your body,,,
Small your eyeballs,,,
If you ever look at her again,,,
I shall strip you nude and whip you,,,fucker
Do you understand,,I'll whip you,,,
He's been singing the Anju tune for a while now,,,
Hasn't brought anyone else around either,,,
Love,,,
What kind of love is this?
Not with Nilima,,,
Not with Miss Ferguson,,,
And not with all those sexy chicks he would bring around,,,
Instead Anju!
Love is blind Mandar
Well love HERE is color blind!
Fucking fasciss,,,racist,,,
Have you seen her dude,,,
She is not even wheat,,,she is dark!
- So what's the problem? - You are blind
Can't one fall in love with dark people?
Arsehole!
Hey Jyotsna,,,
Jyotsna
On your way back, can you get the balm please?
Hello
Looks like you returned early from jogging,
Who's it?
How come you didn't recognize my voice?
Who's this?
Jyo,,t,,,sna,,?
Hello,,,
Hello,,,is Mr, Patil home?
Wrong,,,wrong number,
Hello,,,
Why did you disconnect the phone yesterday?
I need to meet you,,,
So come along,,,
you know where I live,,,
Leave the door open,,,
Why so long? You live so near,,,
Look all this was a joke,,,
Enough now,,,
Understand,,,
Don't let your imagination go wild,,,
You came here to inform me this?
Yes
And don't call me in the future,,
Where had I called
You'd called right?
Lets keep it going,,,what's the problem?
Alright,,,
I'll call my husband,,,
The two of you can discuss And decide what needs to be done,,,
Alright,
Call your husband,,,
I will discuss with him,,,
Look you want to end it, lets do so,,,
But lets end it on a happy note,,,
Give me a kiss,,,
Just a kiss and then we are done,,,
Just one kiss,,,
Hello,,,
Hush-hush
under the wraps
this affair of ours
is best kept
hush-hush
under the wraps
this affair of ours
is best kept
Forbidden fruit
quietly heist
its tanginess
slowly unpacked
Forbidden fruit
quietly heist
its tanginess
easily relished,
hush-hush
under the wraps
this affair of ours
is best kept
That which is right, to the winds thrown
We drench in the rains, of the wrong
Swing to the tunes of frolic 'n fun
Entangled in the conspiracies of heart
Within the bubble of bounds
Heart-beats play a game of ping-pong
And carry on with this state of being
hush-hush
under the wraps
this affair of ours
is best kept
hush-hush
under the wraps
this affair of ours
is best kept
Like a cat drinking milk of a saucer
Relished that which wasn't ours,
Held by a string of relationships
Hid away in the glow of the moment,
When the eyes signaled in a glance,
We pretended a make-do romance,
As a matter of pretense So be it heartburn to others
hush-hush
under the wraps
this affair of ours
is best kept
hush-hush
under the wraps
this affair of ours
is best kept
It looks great on me right?
When Deepak had bought me the first saari,,, It was very bad
But we were new lovers,,,
To not break his heart I'd said it was great,,,
Then he continued to buy bad saaris,,,
And I kept wearing them,,,
He doesn't buy anymore,,,
And now when I buy, they are as bad,,,
But truly this is nice,,,
But such a nice saari,,,
What if Deepak finds out?
What if he kicks me out of the house?
You will marry me right,,,
Come here,,,
You'll marry me, wont you?
We won't get caught!
Wwww,,,what's it?
Yyy,,,you have ccc come to meet JyJy Jyotsna?
No I had brought comics for Akshay,
Cococococo,,,,,,
Comics,,,
You lend comics for what Fa,,fa,,favors?
No these are for Akshay
Do I,,look an arse,,, arse,,,hole to you?
Lets go to your college, now!
Lets meet your principal,,,
Let me take your home address
and call your parents here,,,
Sososorry,,,sir PlPlease,,,
No, lets go,,,
Where the fuck are you running off to?
Sorry sir,,,
Don't you have the balls?
Why didn't you warn me yesterday?
I wouldn't have come over,,,
Fuck the slipper! How did he even come to know?
Stop calling me
And ask the others with whom you've shared my number
Wait a minute,,,
I have not given anyone your number,,,
Please listen to me,,,
Whats my fault in this?
Jyotsna lets think about this,,,
Together lets resolve it,,,
You ran away,,, where can I run to?
Congrats,,,
Mandar,,,
- Congrats - Thanks,,,
You err while others suffer
Makes no sense!
Do you know where I erred?
I couldn't keep it under the wraps,
You've an answer for everything
First you ran away from the apartment
next from the city,,,
What about that lady?
Her husband would have divorced her by now,,,
Didn't they have a kid too?
Hello PARUL,
Please listen to me,,,
please for a second only,,,
I want to talk about something else,,,
Parul please,,,
don't hang up,,,Parul,,,
Hey bro,,,
It's not a race,,, Just follow her
- I suggest you walk, it's simpler! - Just slow down
I was thinking,,,
I've morning college,,,
If I join something part time,,,
I'll gain some experience,,,
that will help me in,,,
Hi
Excuse me?
This is Mandar,,,
Hi I'm Aloke,
Has she told you about us?
In detail?
About the hostel,,,
Why I was thrown out?
Its an interesting story,,,
Parul,,,He knows right?
I would really love to know but,,,
You go down, I will join you,
What are you doing Mandar?
Why are you doing this?
I loved you
wanted to marry you,
Now I love Aloke and will get married to him,
You will marry HIM?
Grow up Mandar,,,,
My carefree friends,
This game is a strange one,
A fairground of Yeas and Nays!
A bitter-sweet fruit could go,
By the name of Savita, Sunita or Bela!
Thine fleeting smile is an expression of love
Though I am addicted to stealing hearts
Actually
Though I am addicted to stealing hearts
Getting thou to agree is love enough
Actually
Getting thou to agree is love enough
Whilst falling in love is a habit for me
Yusuf,,,
Yusuf,,,enough is enough,,,
Enough of Rehana,,,
She is married now,,,
Start a new life Yusuf,,,
Never glanced from her car mount,
Lest there be manifold accidents,
A vagrant life is my style
You're no longer Shabnam,,,
You are Rehana,
You intend to marry me love?
Yes
A vagrant life is my style
A vagabond existence is mine
I fall for thy beauty my love
I fear that
I fear that I maybe heartbroken
Loving is the truant I play
Though I am addicted to stealing hearts
Actually
Though I am addicted to stealing hearts
Thine fleeting smile is an expression of love
Sincerely
Thine fleeting smile is an expression of love
Though I am addicted to stealing hearts
Honestly
Though I am addicted to stealing hearts
Your's faithfully
Though I am addicted to stealing hearts
Where were you?
We left so many messages on your pager,
Oh I wasn't near the phone,,,
Were you crying Mom?
Our Kshitij is no more
In Kashmir,,,
Of bushy thick milk moustaches
crisscrossed battle-lines, of pissing matches
those irritable pimple scratches
'Twas a childhood with its blemishes
those irritable pimple scratches
'Twas a childhood with its blemishes
There weren't any carousels of memories
No pesky dreams to plague
We were gentlemen kings of our destiny
For every zig of yours
I had my very own zag
Time fluttered an un-still pigeon
on the sill of a clock-less window
those irritable pimple scratches
'Twas a childhood with its blemishes
Tried hard to be you,
Pin you to my pocket strings,
Merrily you blew at me raspberries,
Kept always out of reach,
Of cigarette puffs by terraces,
A childhood of sassy aches,
Hi this is Trupti sorry I can't take your call right now,
Please leave a message and I will get back to you, Thank you,
Why did you give the nod this quick?
I liked you,,,hence,,,
You see niceties in me already?
Yeah, plentiful,
Such as?
Such as,,,,,
You can drive and I can't
So?
So you can ferry me back and forth from work
Why do you need a wife, just hire a driver!
I don't have a car,,,
So you need that too?
See another plus,,, you have a car
But seriously you know, this arranged marriage stuff is beyond me
Since my sister insisted I agreed,,,,
but I don't feel I am cut out for it,,,,
Oh no pressure at all,, we will keep meeting,,,take your time,,,
Its not that Mandar,,,I have had relationships since school,,,
big and small both and now suddenly this arranged marriage,,,
I can't come to terms with it,,,
Please don't wait for me,,, better find someone else,,,
Hi, I need to get this kurta altered,,,
and the pants I gave you the other day,,,
Receipt's there somewhere,,,
Yeah,,,I am here to collect those,,,
Will be 10 minutes
Speed it up please
Were you engaged to Chax?
No,,,there was this guy Neerav,,,
So why weren't you able to tell that girl?
Which girl?
The one from your school?
Oh,,,that,,,fear of rejection,,,
That's the problem with people like you,,,
So what type of girls do you like?
"Which type?"
3 o clock,,,,
3 o clock?
Imagine a clock,,,, 3 o clock,,,,
NO,,, you cannot stare directly like that,,,
So how is one supposed to look?
Check her out like this,,,,
Like this?
Too thin for me,,,,
10,30
Its not a digital clock! 10 or 11?
There one at 10 and another at 11
If you bisect the two then there's the ONE!
Wow,,,wow!!
So ok, you can stare directly at her?
Yeah,,,,
I am a girl,,,I can see other girls,,,
She is good looking,,,
appears unmarried too,,,
Go talk to her,,,
No, no!!
Go on, talk to her
What might happen,,, at most she may rough you up!
I've no intention of being roughed up in broad daylight
But think,,,the fear of rejection will be gone forever,,,
Never keep things in your hearts,,, say it aloud,,,
Go now,,,
Go,,,
Should I?
Yeah!
Ok, am gonna give it a shot,
Go,,,
Brother, can you give me a 34-D
Wha,,,,?
Quickly,,,,
Ditch that,,, give me the blue one
Sir,,,your hand,,, you're squeezing it!
What's there to be squeezed,,,
Please don't,
Sorry,
You opened an entire shop of RSVP!
Tripti,,,
Don't just reject me outright please,,,
lets meet some more,,,
Give us another chance,,,,
Shall we meet on the weekend?
No, this weekend I am going to Pune,,,
So I'll hop along,,,
Absolutely not
I am going to meet my parents
Can you please hurry up?
Pune is such a sweet place,,, so I thought,,,
You may view me differently there,,,
and say yes, perhaps?
Absolutely not,,,
Have you been to Pune before?
Of course,,,Did my engineering there,,, Great place
Hey just follow them
Look here,,,there she is,,,
Hi Sir Dara,,,
Store Manager,,,
You need a basket sir,,,
No
Sir how do you begin your day with?
I mean cereals, cornflakes, oatmeal?
I have puffed rice!
Have a good day sir
Trolley sir?
NO
Hey Tripti!
How come you are in Pune?
Hi!
I had come here to meet my parents,,,
Mom this is Mandar,,,
Dad,,,
You know Dipti's friend in Texas,,,,
This is her brother,,,
Who I had gone to meet,,,
Oh ok,,, That is THAT boy,,,
Shall we have a cup of tea?
I had only seen your photo
hence did not recognize you,
Are you here for some work?
Yeah,,,
I had to take care of some business,
I will be right back,
Excuse me,,,
Excuse me sir,,, Hold it,,,
Yes
I think you forgot to pay for something?
No I didn't buy anything
Are you sure?
Yes I'm sure,,,
Can I check your pockets?
I will be right back,
No sir,,,I saw you picking it up,,,
I must've accidentally picked it up,
Mistake?
I have had an eye on you for a while now,,,
If I wanted to shop lift,,,
I would've picked something better?
All thieves say the same thing sir,
Shop lifting is a criminal offence,
Oh no,,,
Sir,,actually,,,
He's with us,,,
and my parents are here,,,
There,,,
They are paying for it,,,
I think this is just a confusion,,,
So would you like to buy it?
No, no,,,you keep it,
Sure?
Sure Sure
Thank you sir,
Thanks Ma'am
Thank you,
You,,,condom?
When your dad saw me
I became nervous and picked something up
And while shaking his hand,,,
I stuffed it into my pocket,,,
Why have you come to Pune?
To tell you what's in my heart,
What's in your heart?
You're the one who told me,
not to keep anything in my heart
Instead, say it aloud
So?
I want to marry you
But you'd already told me this
Yeah,,actually true, I had,
So now back to Mumbai?
Did you just arrive?
In which case stay back,,,
Tomorrow we can go back together,,,
My eyes are befuddled,
Unread remain your raven two,
Innocently illiterate are they,
Mischief needs taught,
Dimwit, unwilling are they,
Point them love signals
Eyes have to meet,
Let them unite love,
Volumes to unravel
Let them decipher love!
Eyes have to meet,
Let them unite love,
Volumes to unravel
Let them decipher love!
When your eyelids go aflutter,
Like pages in a book of longing,
Scribed in your gaze,
I sense the footfalls of syllables,
Let me comprehend each one,
Let the tongue giddy with love,
The mischief of glances,
Let is multiply unmeasured,
Grab if it must,
the peace!
Eyes have to meet,
Let them unite love,
Volumes to unravel
Let them decipher love!
Now that I've read your look,
I know my ignorance,
The heart acknowledges its beat,
Was an unknown presence,
Finally there's peace of mind,
Now that you are found,
Lost in your gaze,
The heart is unfound,
This for dreams,
a resting ground,
Mandar's all done,
When will you get married?
After you are a senior citizen?
Tripti's sister lives right next door from Aparna in Texas,,,,
so the both of them can only come in June for the wedding,,,
Hence the date's been fixed for three months later,
Make sure you wear the traditional saree for marriage
Anju,,,
Prathamesh is an exact "jhorax" copy of Kshitij
Mom did show me his childhood photos,,,
He does resemble Kshitij
Thank god only the faces resemble,
C'mon show some strength,,, Don't you drink milk?
A tiger does not drink milk,,,
Dunce,,,a tiger does not eat grass,
It does drink milk,,, which is why its strong,,,Cmon!
Lets show him our strength Prathamesh,,,
Cheater Cheater,,,,
Prathamesh seems such a quiet child,
On the other hand Kshitij used to be such a terror,,,
This guy is no saint either
Really!
Hey you take so much time,,,
Look at me I wore it in a jiffy
I too wear my sandals in a jiffy!
Alright I will take your leave,,,
All of you please visit us in Pune
Alright,,,
Tripti please bring them all,,,
Shall we,,,
Do you want to pee?
Else you'll want to go outside
Let it be Anju,,,
This child is completely crazy,,,
He always wants to pee outside
Never in the toilet,,,
Shall we?
I conspired, it was time,
Of my digits, shaped a gun,
Cocked an eye, took aim,
Let go a bullet, bam!
Over you buckled,
Kissing earthy dust,
Held your breath,
As everyone lauded,
Kshitij too never peed in a toilet,
,,,,always went underneath a tree
Saying the trees are dry,
T'was a game you nitwit,
T'was playacting you dimwit,
Quitter of the longer race,
That is cheating,
A complete rip-off, you wretch,,,,
Yo Ponkshe, dude!
Left us outta engagement,
Call us to the wedding?
Tell me what'll be my gift, All depends on it!
Bloody Grinch!
Please sir,,,
I will be out in 2 minutes,,,
I can't let you inside,,,
Her flight landed at 10 pm,,,
It's 1 am now,,,
Sir this is a matter of security
Sir I understand it's a matter of security,
But this is serious,,,
She is an old lady,,,
Just 2 minutes sir,,,
It's her first time in the city,,,
If for some reason she is held up inside,
Other complications may arise,,,
Please try and understand,,,
Alright,,,
Do one thing
Go until that point
That's our security guard
Collecting exit passes,,,
Ask him for those
And check all the exit passes,,,
you will come to know who exited
You can check if your Aunt has arrived or not,
I am done sir, Thank you,
Shobha,,,
Isn't she the same one,,,
Divorcee,,,
Who's been having a roaring affair?
She has a round face,,,
Has Light brown golden colored hair,,,
Thank you sir,,,
She has exited
Hi,,,
You have been waiting for long
Have you arrived or departing?
I have arrived,,,,
Are you waiting for someone?
No
Yeah,,, actually I have a flight tomorrow,,,
Tomorrow?
You'll be here all night long?
Aren't you uncomfortable?
Ya,,,but,,,its ok,
You should check into a hotel,,,
Actually there is one near my house,,,
It's very comfortable,,,
I can drop you there,,,
You can check in there,,,
But weren't you here to pick someone up?
No,,,
I saw you outside,,,
I come to the airport to kill time,,,
That was a joke,,,
Yeah I had come to pick someone up,
But there was a miscommunication,,,
So now I'm headed back home,
By the way I'm CHAX,,,,
CHAX?
Chakravarty
Oh South Indian?
No,,No,, From Western India,,,
Chakravarty,,,,Randive
From Western India?
And Chakravarty??
Never heard before,,,!
Yeah it's a first
My Dad was a huge Mithun Chakravarty fan (Film star)
Hence Chakravarty
But then it should have been Mithun?
Well my Dad's name is Mithun,,,
So if he had named me Mithun then,,,
I would've been Mithun Mithun Randive
A bit weird right?
So to avoid confusion i was named CHAX
CHAX
Hey Chax,,,
This is,,,
Mandar
Mandar,,,Tripti's fiance',,,
And this is the great CHAX,
Good choice Tripti
Whats CHAX's name?
Chakravarty
That CHAX,,,, does he work with you?
No he used to,,,
Now he runs his own languages agency,,,
You did not invite him to the engagement?
No
Is there a problem?
CHAX is back in my life
I don't get it?
Weren't you engaged to someone else,,,
Yeah
After the broken engagement I came to Mumbai,,,
CHAX used to work here,,,
We fell in love
It was great for me,,,
We lived in for two years,
Why didn't you marry him?
Marriage & children did not interest him,,,
I knew this yet I lived in with him,,,
But I want to have babies,,,
Now he wants to marry you?
Look Tripti,,,
No stress ok,,,
If you even have a little bit of doubt about us,,,then
We are only engaged,,,
Its not that easy,,,
Its so confusing,,,
Such timing,,,
He's pursuing me now,,,
Phones me every day,,,
Meets me each day,,,
Pestering me to get back
Should I talk to him?
No Thank you,,,,
He's my friend
And I will handle him,
Meoww
Meowwwww
You had shifted to Pune right?
I resigned
You got married?
Whats that ring?
It's religious
Come
I fucked up because of CHAX stress!
She told me everything about their relationship,
Did I leave her? I accepted her as is,
But if I tell her about me then,,,
She will run away with CHAX,,,
Then what?
So leave her,,,
Don't do her a favor
I can't,,,
Why not?
Don't ask me bullshit questions
Because I don't want to,,,ok!
So then be happy,,,,
You mess up everything,,
That's right,,,
I am going to tell her ALL,,,, The entire truth
That I am a VAASU (sex maniac)
,,,used to be!
Still am
But that needs honesty,,,
If you are, you don't have to say
Sadly you don't have the balls!
You are dishonest,
Come to terms with it now!
Razzmatazzy right?
Its very nice,,,must be pricey right?
150-200 per card, right?
That I'm finally marrying has driven Mom-Dad insane,,,
they're spending money like lunatics!,,,
Weren't you going to show me something?
Oh yeah, nothing much, just a,,,
Ya,,,
No, no, no,,ask him to wait there,,, I'll come,,,yeah thank you,
Why are we having this discussion again?
Look I know why you want to marry him,,,
you don't want to break his heart,
Its not that!
Then why are you doing it?
Do you love him?
If you don't love him why do it?
Its an arranged marriage Chax,,,
love will happen,
It happened to my Mom-Dad,,,
likely it did to yours too,,,
I don't know,
And I like him,
He's a very nice guy,
What if he isn't?
You were to show me something?
Oh just a sample,,,
simple, plain,
No its really nice,
Actually I would've preferred something like this,
Bit more simple,
But our cards are out to guests already,
I will get on with the printing and distribution of these too,
We should be getting married right?
I mean,,,
Knowing all that you do about me,
"pristine pure" ones as you, tend to get stressed
and run away from the altar,,,
Trupti, can I say something?
I am not really that "pristine pure",,,
I am a VAASU
VAASU?
As in player?
Since when?
Since school,,,
college days,,,
College?
WOW!
Whats your score?
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY?
Lesser?
Count of girls or,,,
number of scores?
You're a professional, yeah?
You have 100% crossed a 100 right?
Not out?
Fantastic man!
You don't have a problem with this?
Never!
Mandar,,,
Mandar, the problem is solving itself,
Do you have an issue with an open marriage?
Open marriage?
Mandar imagine,
Imagine after the wedding,,,
We are going to a party,
Going in we will be two,,,
however coming out,,,
We will be,,,
FOUR!
Meaning a Victor for you and a Victoria for me?
What do you think of the concept?
It's a mindblowing concept!
Meaning our inning is never done?
Unvanquished forever?
Its superb!
In any case I was going to cut you loose,
Now I can do it guilt-free!
What?
I am marrying Chax,
I will not marry you!
Mandar you were to going to say something right?
Mandar,,,
Want to get married or not?
Yes I do, I do!
Trupti, past is past,
Let go, makes no difference,
Can I have your Photo id please?
Passport will do?
Yeah Sure
You can go up,, I'll scan this and send it over
This is your room key,
Thank you
Leave it here
Ok,,,
Thank you
Oh its nothing
- Water? - Yeah
No thanks,,,
What are you searching for?
The coffee maker
You want some coffee?
Yeah that would be nice
Alright I will order it then
Yeah,,,
Can I have one coffee please?
Yeah Thanks
On its way
You won't drink coffee?
No I am very tired,,,
Neck pain?
Yeah,,,18 hours flight,,, sitting down mostly,,,
I can give you a neck massage
No No,,,its ok
Yes come in,,,
Ma'am your passport
Thank you
I will make the coffee
You should never ignore neck pain,,,
I have magic in my hands,,, you will get instant relief,
Hey I said its ok,,,
Sorry about that,
Hello,,,
Yes,,,Oh yes hello uncle,,, How are you?
Oh,,,really,,sorry I did not know,,, I've checked into a hotel,,,
Oh you shouldn't take the trouble,,,this late,,,
I'm at Hotel Ramee Grand,,, Room no 601
Thank you
Chax,,,Can you finish the coffee quick?
Someone's coming to pick me up
Hello
Yes Dad
Shobha is staying at the Ramee Grand Hotel
What?
Mandar, that Shobha went from the airport directly to a hotel
Which hotel?
Ramee Grand,,,why don't you do one thing,,, go there and bring her home,
Yeah ok, let me see
Aparna was calling her Shobha 'NT'
Aunty
Ok then bye
Did you forget something?
No
Shobha, I am here to pick you up,
Mandar?
So Chax?
You are getting married right?
I am not coming with you
Shobha,,,
Shobha please come with me,,,
What will I tell Mom and Dad?
Shobha,,,
Can I buy you a drink?
Hey uncle why don't you find an aunty to buy a drink?
Are you crazy,,, I said sorry right?
What are you doing Mandar?
Guys like you should never get married,
You ran away,,, where can I run to?
Why shouldn't guys like me marry?
Kshitij was like me actually he was my guru,,,
And yet he married Didn't he?
You never really understood Kshitij,,,
The day you'll find true love
Is when you will understand,
Yes Dad,,,
Did you meet her?
Hello,,,hello,,,
There was so much fun in doing this earlier,,,
But it's enough now,,,
I have been running my whole life,,,
Vaasu is having a conscience attack now,,,
and feeling guilty
I don't want to remain a Vaasu all my life,,,
I want to change,,,
I am going to confess everything to her,
Hey Mandar,,,
Wait up buddy,,,
If you want to confess then confess tomorrow,,,
Are you planning on running all the way to her house?
How much?
Mandar wait,,,
wait up,,,
Mandar this is crazy,,,ok,
I have always done crazy things in my life,,,
This is sheer madness
Yusuf,,,
For the first time in my life, I'm daring to do the right thing,,,so let me do it!
What Daring?
You,,,you want to dare, right?
Then do it,,,
You want to confess to her, right?
So do it, But when you are normal,,,not now!
Confess when you are sober,,,ok?
I am with you,,, Lets go,
Lets go,,,
You are right,,,
I am going to wait here until I am sober,,,
You go home,,,
You are behaving like a stupid, immature teenager,,,
Actually even when you were a teenager you weren't this stupid,,,
Mandar,,,
Don't be impulsive else she'll leave you,
You want to get married right?
So tell her after marriage,,, finito!
You have come from the airport?
Are you drunk?
He's incredibly depressed on account of our wedding,,,
He got drunk yesterday and bothered me no end,,,
Please don't misunderstand,,, I'm sorry
- I will wake him,,, - No No it's ok,,,,,,
He looks dead in any case,,,
And you need not be apologetic
I don't deserve that,,,
In any case I am not here on account of you or Chax,,,
Tripti,,,
I am a VAASU,,,
meaning,,,
people like me are called VAASU,,,you know?
I am a,,,,
I am sorry about the language,,,
but I don't know how to describe myself,,,
The urge to fuck is intolerable,,
I feel like doing it all the time,,,
And I do!
Hey,,,
You look to be from a decent household,,,
you shouldn't be laying drunk on the roads,,,
Go home now,,,
to your wife and kids,
Sorry sir,,,
Go home,,,
Today's generation!
What are you saying man?
You told her everything,,,
What did she say?
What happened?
Tripti I am really sorry
that I did not tell you all this earlier,,,
But I had my reasons,,,
Are you a Sex Addict?
No, no, no addiction,
It's,,,
,,just a habit,,,
After our engagement,,,
Have you,,,with anyone,,,
Once,,,
You're still here?
Do you have no shame?
What happened?
Get out
Get out of my house!
What the Hell!!!
The wedding cards have gone out
Let me talk to her,,,,
- Let me reason with her - Or so I thought
What??
It slipped out of my hand,,,
No I don't need your help,,,
Tripti I don't deserve you,,,
You should get married to Chax,,,
At least he was honest with you,,,
and the both of you love each other,,,
I know my heart will be broken but,,,
I deserve it,,,
Yes, you should marry Chax,
Do you know why I broke up with Chax?
I got pregnant,,,
I thought he would be happy to hear it,,,
Instead he said,,,
it was my fault
and that I should get it aborted,
And I wasn't such a strong woman
that I could be a single mother,,,
so I killed the baby!
How can I marry a man,,,
who wasn't with me when I needed him the most?
I went to the clinic all by myself,,,
I think,,,
I thinks it's a good thing you told me everything,,,
It's not easy,,,
You could have hidden it,,,
or I would have found out after we were married,,,
And that would have been worse
Aren't you relieved?
Whether its arranged
or love marriage
What difference does it make?
It all boils down to the same thing,,,
Trust,
You know it's a good thing
We will be starting with a clean slate,
then why won't it work?
I love you,,,
Tripti I really love you,,,
I love you too,,,,
Mandar,,,
Are you going to shave this?
I thought you like it?
No,
Mandar,,,
another thing,,,
and this is for both of us,,,
Get your HIV test done,
No I have gotten it done,,,
See earlier you were pristine pure
So I had not asked for it,,,
In arranged marriages we need to do all this,,,
Agreed, one has to,
You know each other right?
Did she tell you about me?
In detail about us?
What is there to tell?
Our past
So you tell me about it
She may hasn't told you?
You tell me,,, I'm here now
Chill babes,,,chill
I'm not your babes ok,,,
Don't you dare call me babes,,,
Who is he?
- Why are you hiding behind me? - You know anger leads to heart attack,,,
Are you a doctor?
Tell me 5 symptoms of a heart attack
What happens first?
This is one symptom
Shut up guys,,,
Who is this guy,,what is this guy? Where did you find him?
You think he's cool?
You think you are bloody cool
Because of your goatee and your bald head
you're not cool,,, ok you're not cool,,,
Are you insane?
Why did you needle him?
Well I thought
he would say something like this and I would beat him up,
You know each other right?
Sorry guys,,
I have been acting like a jerk lately,,,
Tripti can I have an Antacid?
And a Dispirin for me?
What are you going to say to Uncle-Aunty about Shobha?
What if she says something?
She won't say,,,
I have fourteen solid years of experience in such matters,,,
She won't say,,
If by chance she does?
At the most i will lose some face with Mom-Dad,,,
but I am still getting married,,,