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¶ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ¶
¶ La, la, la, la, la ¶
¶ La, la, la, la ¶
¶ 'Tis the season to be jolly ¶
¶ Fa, la, la, la, la ¶
¶ La, la, la, la ¶
¶ Don we now our gay apparel ¶
¶ Fa, la, la, la, la, la ¶
¶ La, la, la ¶
¶ Troll the ancient yuletide carol ¶
¶ Fa, la, la, la, la ¶
¶ La, la, la, la ¶
- Could I get a Whiskey knee please?
Thank you,
Anyone sitting here?
- No,
- Great,
Thank you sir,
What's your name?
- Katie,
- Nice to meet you, I'm Johnny,
What's the matter?
You worried Santa didn't get your letter this year?
Oh no, you just found out you're on the
naughty list, didn't you?
Don't worry, you get used to it,
That's better, a little smile,
So, what seems to be the real problem?
- My boyfriend is planning to leave me,
- [Johnny] Oh, and he told you this?
- No,
- So, how do you know?
- [Katie] Because he's done it before,
- [Johnny] And you took him back?
- Every time,
- So he's done it more than once?
Three times?
Wow!
And you're still with this guy, huh?
- Yup,
- Katie, Katie, Katie, do you not know
how beautiful you are?
- Have you ever loved someone
so much that it felt like you loved them before?
Been with them before?
Like in another life,
I have never loved anyone the way that I love this guy,
It's completely debilitating,
- Wow,
So how long have you two been together?
- Well if you take all the time that we've been together
and you subtract all the time that we've been broken up,
about three years,
- Oh,
That's pretty serious huh?
- I thought so,
- Well look, any guy who would break up
with his girl this close to Christmas
is a complete douche,
But you should forget about this guy
and just come dance with me,
What do you say?
- I can't,
- Oh come on, I'll help you forget all about him,
- Sorry,
- Okay,
Have a good night,
(slow paced music)
- What are you doing?
- You're not gonna like this,
I'm leaving,
- Now?
- Yeah,
- You know Michael, someone just told me
that only a real douche would break up
with someone this close to Christmas,
- Yeah, I know, and I'm sorry,
- You know what, it doesn't even matter,
It's not like you were planning to come
home with me for Christmas anyway,
- Katie, I just,,,
It doesn't feel right anymore,
We don't feel right,
- That's because you never really committed,
How can it feel right when you always
have one foot out the door!
- Look, I'm sorry,
I do love you, okay?
- So what?
Your love comes and goes like the weather!
It can't withstand even the smallest discomfort!
What good is love like that!
- Look, I'm sorry okay!
I really do love you,
but I can't,
- I don't care,
You know what, just go,
Go!
And don't you ever come back!
Don't call me, don't text me,
don't email me, don't run into me,
don't even think about me!
Just go and don't come back ever!
(Katie sobbing)
- Hello!
Katie!
Are you here?
Katie!
Hello!
Ooh,
(light music)
Boy,
Hey,
How's ya doing?
- Awesome,
- Yeah?
It looks like it,
Is there anything I can do?
- No,
- Do you want me to scratch his car
or his eyes out?
- Yes please,
- Done,
- Valerie, when did I become one of those pathetic girls?
You know, the ones who cry over a guy
who's dumped them over and over and over again?
- It's only been a week,
Give yourself some time,
- It's the fourth time!
- So?
What, it shouldn't hurt?
- No, it shouldn't hurt,
I mean, what did I expect?
That time would be different?
That this time he'd be there for me?
And I keep telling myself, "Katie,
"you deserve someone who loves you
"and who wants to be with you,
"This guys has done you a favor,"
And you know what, I know I'm right,
But it doesn't matter,
Because I still miss him,
I miss the way that he would roll over
and tell me that he loved me in the middle of the night,
And I miss his arms around me
and the way he smelled,
My whole body hurts with missing him,
- I know,
I'm so sorry,
- And it's not just him,
You know, it's the whole life that we had planned together,
You know, the house, and the kids,
and the places that we would go,
And now I have to start over,
I have to date,
(Katie crying)
- At least you can go home for the holidays,
You've got your family,
- Oh yeah, those people,
Won't that be lovely?
I get to go home all alone, again,
Another failed relationship under my belt,
- Your family doesn't care about that,
- No,
No they don't,
Those people with their perfect houses
and spouses and cars and kids,
They make me feel bad about myself
just by being who they are,
- What are you talking about?
Katie, your life is perfect!
- No,
- You're successful, you've got a great place,
you got the greatest best friend
anyone could ask for, I mean,
your family should be jealous of your life for that alone,
- That's true,
- Thank you,
- How can a man tell you that he loves you
and then leave?
- I don't know,
I won't leave, I'll stay with you,
(festive bells ringing)
("Away In A Manger" instrumental)
- Good morning Charlie,
(Katie chuckling)
Oh, how are you?
Hi baby,
How are you?
Sorry I haven't been here for a few days,
Did you miss me?
No, you were fed so you're fine?
Water looks good,
All dirty,
You'll be happy to know Michael and I broke up again,
So, you are the only man in my life,
Once again,
(light solemn music)
Gonna be gone for a few days,
I have to go home,
Because the only thing worse
than going home for Christmas alone,
would be not going home at all, so,
But Cindy's gonna be here,
She's gonna walk you every day, okay?
Okay?
So don't worry,
You're taken care of,
Love you,
(door thudding)
Oh, I'm sorry,
(airplane whirring)
It's okay Katie,
This is the last time,
This is the last time you ever
come home alone for Christmas ever again,
(light upbeat music)
- So nothing?
- No,
- Michael didn't text you on Christmas day?
- Nope,
- And you didn't text him either?
- No,
- Well good,
It's a new year, time to move on,
- Han didn't call or text me over Christmas either,
- Han doesn't even know you're interested in him,
- Actually, as annoying as you are,
I agree,
I do deserve better and I'm ready to move on,
- Excellent!
I know the perfect place for you guys,
What are you doing Saturday?
- Well, actually, I have already--
- [Waiter] Are you guys ready to order?
- Oh, hi Han,
How are you?
- Good,
- Keiko, it's Han,
- Hi Han,
- Hi,
- Han, why don't you just give us a second,
We're not quite ready,
Thank you - Sure,
- [Valerie] Anyway, you were saying?
- I'm now on Binder,
- The hook-up app?
- It's a dating app,
- Oh no!
- You don't need Binder, I've got you covered,
- Valerie, I cannot go clubbing every weekend
in the hopes that there will be
a single attractive male, in the right age range,
who happens to be looking for a relationship,
At least with Binder I can set age limits,
look at pictures, and reasonably expect them to be single,
- But Binder?
- Aren't you on Binder?
- Yes!
- It can't be that bad,
- It is,
- Okay, whatever,
This is how people our age meet now,
I already have a dinner date on Thursday,
And my goal is two a week,
- Two what?
- Two
meets, dates,
meetings?
- You set goals?
- Yes,
And I'm already meeting and exceeding those goals,
- Okay,
The consummate professional dater,
- Yes I am,
- Good luck,
(light upbeat jazz music)
- How do I find you?
Hi,
- [Male Blonde] Hi,
- Katie,
- Matthew,
You look great,
- Oh, thank you,
- So tell me all about yourself,
- Oh,
Okay, I design websites,
So I do brands, logos, all of that kind of stuff,
I live in NoHo,
- NoHo?
I rehearse there all the time,
- Oh, you're a dancer?
- Singer in a band,
Razor Blade Kiss,
I'm quite popular overseas,
My band and I are cutting a new album soon,
You should look me up on YouTube,
I have over a million subscribers,
You never heard of me?
Matthew Hagen of Razor Blade Kiss?
- No, sorry,
- We're kind of like a modern U2
with a touch of punk,
I just got back from Germany
and we're heading for Sweden in a couple weeks,
Touring makes it hard to meet people,
Well, not to meet girls,
There are plenty of girls,
But it's hard to find a quality relationship,
As in yourself,
And then when you find her,
you gotta make sure that she's confident,
I'm always on tour and girls are always
throwing themselves at me,
And she has to understand that that's just the way it is,
That's just life,
(upbeat jazz music)
And we get divorced
and she takes half of everything,
Including intellectual property,
The best part of my marriage
was the divorce,
My songs, my lyrics, my music,
I don't know what was wrong with her,
She would just like, throw bottles at me,
Just didn't wanna be with her anymore,
She was so clingy,
It was a relief for me, you know?
Like a burden off my shoulder,
She just couldn't get used to me being gone all the time,
You don't have that problem, right?
- I have an early morning
tomorrow, - Really?
- [Katie] Yeah,
Sorry, I have to go,
- Okay,
I'll take care of this,
- Are you sure?
I'm totally happy to pay my half,
- No, no, it's my pleasure,
It's nice to find someone
that's not interested in me for the fame, you know?
- Yeah,
Okay, goodnight,
- That's crazy,
So he said that?
That it was nice to spend time with somebody
who wasn't in interested in just for his fame?
- Yes, (Valerie laughs)
- That's funny,
So, what did you say?
- I said, "Well, I've never heard of you,
"Check please,"
- Okay, well, could've been worse,
At least you got that out of your system,
- What do you mean?
- Dating on Binder, ugh,
- Are you crazy?
I am just getting started,
Yes it was a mistake to do dinner, right?
From now on, meets will be limited to lunch and coffee,
- What's a meet?
- That's what I'm calling it,
A meet,
- [Keiko] Not a date?
- No, a date is when two people have met
and they know that they like each other
and they wanna see each other again,
- Okay, so like a blind date,
- A blind date is when other people in your life
have set you up and you know absolutely nothing
about the person,
With Binder, you've seen pictures,
you've communicated, you just haven't met face to face,
- Meet is a verb not a noun,
- [Valerie] English lesson, yes,
- Yes, well, I'm making it a thing,
From now on a meet is a previously arranged,
face-to-face meeting for people who've only ever met online,
- Okay,
- [Katie] Okay,
- Okay,
So, any prospective meets in the near future?
- Actually, yes,
Lunch tomorrow,
And I've been talking to this really cute guy
every night this week,
- Uh-oh,
- What? - What do you mean uh-oh?
- [Keiko] Sounds like an N-S-T-T-T-A-N,
- What's,
what is that?
- N-S-T-T-T-A-N stands for,
needs someone to talk to at night,
- Okay, I'm pretty sure that's not a thing,
- Maybe it is, I mean--
- You guys don't know?
N-S-T-T-T-A-N's have never seen the light of day,
In fact, no one has actually ever met one,
But he'll text you every single night
and you'll think to yourself,
"Hm, he likes me,"
And maybe he does, but when daylight comes,
he will not dare venture outside,
He is much safer inside the phone,
Trust me, you don't wanna waste your time,
- Okay, I seriously doubt that,
- He could be an - No, he's not a
- [Everyone] N-S-T-T-T-A-N,
- Okay, whatever, - Totally is,
- [Katie] Whatever,
- It sounds like it's going really great,
- Uh-huh, you know what you guys--
- She has no clue,
- I have an N-S-T, right now,
He didn't show up,
True story,
- You guys, you'll see,
("Deck The Halls" instrumental)
Hey handsome, you wanna take me for a ride?
(Katie gasps)
You scared me,
What are you doing in there?
- The leak in his faucet, (tense music)
- Oh,
(light music)
Hi baby,
Well you're very clean today,
Thank you,
Thanks Han,
Can I help you?
- Is Keiko coming?
- No, I'm supposed to be meeting someone from Binder here,
You know, like a blind date, but I guess he's not coming,
Can I get a chicken sandwich?
- So, she's not coming?
- No,
Was that a yes on the sandwich?
- Sorry I'm late,
Totally slept in, Cody,
- Oh, Katie,
You slept in til one in the afternoon?
(Cody chuckles)
- Yeah,
- Really?
You don't have to work today?
- No, I'm kind of between jobs right now,
Yeah, I came out here to be an actor,
so I've been living off my savings,
but it hasn't happened as fast as I hoped it would,
Looks like I may have to get that job after all,
- [Katie] Yeah, I've heard that that acting gig can be hard,
- Yeah,
It's all right, my friends been letting me stay at his place,
but I think he's getting tired of me being on the couch, so--
- How long have you been sleeping on his couch?
- Two years,
I know, I know,
I just keep thinking the next auditions
gonna be the one, you know?
(Katie laughing)
- Yeah,
Oh, thanks Han,
- Hey man,
Nothing for me man, thanks,
- You don't wanna eat anything?
- No, I really can't afford anything right now,
So go right ahead,
- Oh, I'm sorry, you were 20 minutes late
so I thought you weren't coming,
I just went ahead and ordered,
- Perfect, no problem,
- Do you want something to drink at least?
- No man, I can't afford it,
- Well, I'll buy it for you, no problem,
- Are you sure?
- [Katie] Yeah, please,
- Okay,
- I'll take a mocha frappe whip
with a splash of cinnamon in a to-go cup, please,
Thank you,
- Mm-hm, no problem,
- [Cody] What do you do?
- Oh, I design websites--
(phone blaring music)
- I'm so sorry,
I gotta get this,
- No problem,
Yeah,
(slow paced music)
- Awe man,
That's gonna be cold,
Okay, where were we?
- Well-- (phone blaring music)
- Son of a!
I'm so sorry,
I gotta go,
But I really wanna see you again,
Can I call you?
- Sure,
- Awesome,
You're beautiful,
- You've gotta be freaking kidding me,
And then he said, "You're beautiful" and left,
- Wait, wait, whoa,
He said, "You're beautiful?"
Really?
- That's the part of that story that upsets you?
Not that he took his latte and left?
- That's not--
- I mean, I'm pretty sure that Binder
is how this guy eats,
If I'd bought him lunch,
he probably would have stayed,
And if he'd been on time,
I probably would have bought him lunch,
- Yeah, you probably should stop doing that,
- That's nothing,
Last week this guy invited me over
and as I was driving, he texted me to pick up a pizza,
And I went over there and I didn't wanna have sex with him
and he got all mad and kicked me out
and still kept the pizza!
- Keiko! - Keiko, that's, why?
- [Keiko] It's okay, I punctured a couple
of his tires on the way out,
- Good girl,
- Keiko, why would you go to his house?
- What do you mean?
- I mean, if you're gonna get up off the couch,
get dressed, get in your car and drive somewhere,
the very least you can expect
is this guy to do the same,
Honey, you're worth getting off the couch for,
- And he could have been a serial killer,
- Yes, and that,
And, if this guys upset that you're
not putting out on the very first meet,
he is not interested in who you are as an individual,
- He's not?
- No!
You could be the most amazing,
wonderful, funny person in the world,
but to him you're just a sex toy
that's delivered itself to his house,
Of course he's upset when you're broken,
- Unless of course you're just there for the sex,
- Yes, of course,
If you're just there to meet your own needs, no problem,
But don't get pressured into meeting his,
- Maybe if I meet his needs, he'll--
- What?
Fall in love with you?
- Yes,
- Keiko, were you even attracted to this guy?
- Well I don't know,
- Wow,
- Keiko, if you're not attracted to him,
you don't need him to be attracted to you,
- But he should be attracted to me!
- Of course Keiko, - Yes!
- [Katie] Obviously he should be attracted to you,
but these aren't self-actualized individuals
who are making appropriate assessments of our worth,
They're insecure jerks,
Honey, you are amazing,
Any guy who can't see that is an idiot,
That is about him, it's not about you,
- Okay,
- [Katie] Yeah,
- Wow, this was a really,
this was a great workout,
(Katie laughing)
Let's go eat!
- I can't,
- Why?
- I have a meet,
- [Keiko] Oh, the meet,
- Oh, trust me, that is exactly how I feel about it,
(door closing)
Hi,
I am so sorry that I'm late,
- No worries,
Wow, I love the fact that you are tall!
It's gonna be great for the kids,
- What kids?
- Oh, our kids,
I want three of them by the way,
Hey, what are you doing tomorrow night?
- I don't know,
- We should go see a movie,
- Oh,
I don't think that I'm available tomorrow night,
- Oh, really?
- [Katie] Yeah,
- Okay,
Well how about Thursday then?
- Should we order?
- Yes, yes, we should order,
And we should also go out to a movie on Thursday night,
- Yeah, I,
I just don't think I'm interested,
- Interested?
What, in me?
How can you even say that?
You don't even know me,
We barely just met,
- Yeah, and you're already asking me out on another date,
- Yeah,
So what's the problem?
Oh, oh, oh, oh really?
Oh god, you're one of those huh?
- One of what?
- Would you be more attracted to me if I was tall?
- I don't know, would you be attracted to me if I was fat?
- What?
Ew, no, ugh, gross!
- Oh my god, - No, no, I knew it,
- [Male] All these women,
You give this whole thing a bad name,
- What are you talking about?
- You know exactly what I'm talking about!
Judging a man by the size of his penis!
- And would that be anything like
judging a woman by her bra size?
- No, and even if it was,
I would clearly win that one,
- Oh my gosh, okay,
I guess we'll never know because you could have stuffed,
- You could have too,
- Okay, you know what, I'm out,
Have a nice day,
And,
don't worry about tall you are,
the chip on your shoulder,
it's big enough for both of you,
- Wow,
Okay,
Tall women, am I right?
Yeah, I'll say,
- It can only get better,
Only get better,
(upbeat music)
Hi,
- Hi,
- Hello,
- This is awkward,
- You're so beautiful,
- The food here any good?
- What can I get you to eat?
- Do you work?
- So what is that?
Like websites and stuff?
- I'm a teacher,
- I do not like my women to work,
- I love kids,
- You want kids?
- Do you cook?
- My real passion is collecting stamps,
- If you can't cook, how do you expect to keep a man?
- Don't you think you're a little old
for the whole starting a family thing?
- You have good childbearing hips, I like hip,
- I mean, that ship has sailed,
- You should see my collection, it's,
it's quite impressive,
- You better be good in bed if you can't cook,
- You know, your chances of having a down syndrome baby
increase significantly after 35 right?
- I put those hips to good use,
- I mean, what are you?
36?
39?
- I keep you barefoot and pregnant,
- I even have a Washington three set
inauguration first president,
- I love horses,
We need to go on a ride together,
- You know, it never occurred to me
that you would still wanna have a family at your age,
- It could be really fun,
I know some great trails,
- There's only so much you can do as a teacher
and that's why I love stamp collecting
because the options are endless,
- Well, this was a total waste of time,
- Let's go for a ride, what do ya say?
- So, with your drink you owe 23,43,
Plus tip and tax,
(phone ringing)
- Hey,
- [Valerie] Hi, what are you doing?
- About to go riding with that guy, remember?
- Oh yeah,
Date number two right?
- Well, technically it's a meet and now a date,
but sure,
- [Valerie] Well good,
I think you've only gone on five or six
second dates in the past almost year,
- Four,
- [Valerie] What? (solemn music)
- This is my fourth,
- [Valerie] This is only the fourth time
you've agreed to go out with a guy again in all this time?
- [Katie] Yup,
- [Valerie] Are you interested in this guy?
- [Katie] Not really,
- [Valerie] Well then why are you going out with him?
- Because I'm trying to be more open minded,
- [Valerie] Well, at least he rides,
- [Katie] Yeah,
- [Valerie] You sound so enthusiastic,
- [Katie] I know, I am trying,
- [Valerie] Maybe that's the problem,
- You know what, it doesn't even matter,
- [Valerie] What does that mean?
- It's too late,
- [Valerie] Too late for what?
- Too late to meet someone,
It's November, even if I met the love of my life tomorrow,
it'd be too soon to invite him home for Christmas,
- [Valerie] That's true,
Unless you were trying to scare him off,
- Exactly,
- Michael and I dated for three years
and he still wouldn't come home with me for Christmas,
- [Valerie] Yeah, but he was the ultimate commitment-phobe,
- So, looks like I'm going home alone
for Christmas again this year,
- [Valerie] Better than going home with Michael,
- After the breakup last year,
I promised myself that
I would never have to go home
for Christmas alone ever again,
That I would finally find the right guy
and that this year we'd be celebrating
the holidays together,
- [Valerie] Okay, well that was a lot of
pressure to put on yourself,
No wonder you've been acting like a total maniac,
- Good boy,
- [Valerie] You might have to go home alone,
but you could still find the right guy before Christmas,
- I have to go, he's here,
- Excuse me, could you get the gate?
Or not,
Take your time,
- Good boy,
All right, let's back up a little bit,
- Hi, sorry, - Hey,
(gate screeching)
- [Date] Good boy,
Let's back up,
Thank you,
Let's go, come on,
Don't worry about it,
Catch you on the next one,
God, what a jerk,
- I think he's just a little weird,
- [Date] I don't know, if he worked my boy Damnit,
I'd have him fired in a heartbeat,
- Yeah,
Your horses name is Damnit?
- Absolutely,
So I can go "Whoa Damnit!"
Shall we head out?
- [Katie] Yup,
- All right, come on boy, let's go,
(light upbeat music)
- This N-S-T-T-T-A insight, mister big deal
and all that stuff,
So it's like it's just not a possible
thing to like go out in public,
Oh hey!
- Hi,
- [Keiko] Oh dear, you look,,,
- Oh,
I think we need to get a new place to eat,
- Because you defiled this one with your Binder craze?
- Yes,
- But we always come here,
- Yeah, if you hadn't brought all your dates here
that would have been awesome,
Oh hey!
- Hi Han, thank you,
(perky music)
- Hi Keiko,
- Oh hi Han,
- I was wondering if you eat,
I mean, if you'd like to eat with me?
Dinner?
- I would,
- Tomorrow?
- Yes,
- [Han] Okay,
- Wow, did you guys see that?
- Yes, it was more painful than I ever
could have imagined,
- He was so forthright, so direct,
- Well it's about time,
- Some people like to do things on their own time,
When it's right!
Not everybody wants to force things
to fit into their certain timeframe,
- So you obviously told Keiko,
- Oh, was it a secret?
- Oh, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry,
Han, just asked me out on a date
and I just forgot about the hoes before bros rule,
- Why are we calling ourselves hos?
Why is it that women have endless names
of shaming them for their sexuality
but there isn't one for men?
- What?
- Really?
Ho, whore, tart, tramp,
slut, skank, hussy, floozy,
not one for men,
- What about player?
- Yeah, but that's always said like,
"Yeah player," like it's a compliment or something,
- Yeah,
- Pimp!
- Oh yeah, like, "He be pimping,"
or like "He's all pimped out, uh,"
You can never shame a guy for his sexuality,
While it's amazing women have sex at all
the way we've been beaten and killed for it,
- You seem to do okay,
- Yeah, that's 'cause I'm a vigilante
fighting social injustice one one night stand at a time,
- Just like a regular superhero,
- [Valerie] That's right,
- Sex with strangers?
That's how you fight the slut stigma?
- Yes,
By proudly and unashamedly having sex with whoever you want,
You can't shame a guy for having sex,
not even if you tried,
If anything, there's a congratulatory handshake,
but women, we have let them shame us throughout history,
- That's actually true,
- Mm-hm,
- You're very philosophical today,
- [Valerie] Thanks,
- But I hate sex with strangers,
- You have to do it for you,
- Well for me to really like it,
I have to feel safe and open,
- You only have to feel safe and open
if you wanna have an orgasm,
- Anything else?
- Nope, we're good, thanks,
Gosh, all these Binder dates
and you haven't had sex with any of them?
- No,
I'm looking for Mr, Right so I've been
obeying all of the rules,
You know, no contacting them until they contact you,
No sex for a certain period of time,
and they open all the doors,
- Wow, well no wonder it hasn't been working,
- Well I don't know,
I'm talking to all of these guys that I've never met
and after a few conversations I'm saying, "Let's meet,"
But sometimes that works and sometimes it backfires,
I mean, there's no way to know
that if I had just waited,
if they eventually would have said,
"Let's meet" on their own
or if they were just a N-S-T-T-T-A-N all along,
- Oh gosh, I'm so glad I don't have to deal
with that anymore,
- What do you mean?
- Well now that Han and I are dating,
- You haven't gone on a single date yet,
- Yeah, but we're soulmates,
- Soul, really?
Soulmates?
- When you know, you know, - Soulmates?
- [Keiko] Yes, someday you'll understand,
- You know what Keiko, I hope you're right,
Oh,
Hm, it's a penny,
I hope that when I find the one
that I am absolutely certain that he is my soulmate,
But right now, what I really need is a holiday boyfriend,
(penny shimmering) (light upbeat music)
- What's a holiday boyfriend?
- Exactly what it sounds like,
A temporary someone to go see the lights
and drink hot chocolate with
or cuddle by the fire, and decorate the tree with,
- You don't have a fireplace,
- [Keiko] Yeah,
- Someone to provide some relief
from the ever present awareness that I am utterly
and completely alone at a time of year
that is all about being with the one you love,
- We're here,
- Yeah, - Hello,
- [Valerie] You know, it's a good thing
you're not being dramatic,
- Not her,
- [Valerie] Not dramatic at all,
- Some day, you'll find true happiness,
just like me and Han,
- Okay, thank you so much Keiko,
See you later,
Bye,
- Okay, bye bye,
- You know, this isn't about Keiko right?
- You think?
Obviously I need to get a grip,
- [Valerie] And probably apologize,
- You think?
I don't think she even--
- Yeah, you're probably right,
- I don't know what's wrong with me Val,
I've been a failure at my romantic relationships
my whole life,
I should be used to it,
But this thing, this promise that I made myself,
I believed me,
And I really thought
that I was never gonna have to
go through what I was going through ever again,
That I would finally find the one
and that the next time I went home for Christmas,
he'd be with me,
- I know, I'm so sorry,
- And I've done everything I can think of, you know?
- I know,
- [Katie] And nothing has worked,
- I know,
- And what is Keiko doing?
- I don't know,
(car beeping)
(slow paced music)
- Just kill me,
(chimes chiming)
(light upbeat music)
Are you limping?
Whoa, whoa?
Crap,
Let's go,
You picked quite the day,
Oh, hi!
You're a long way out,
- [Horse Handler] You walked him,
- Yeah, he threw a shoe,
- Yeah, I can see that,
- Can I help you?
- Not unless you got a horseshoe in your pocket,
- Nah,
- No, we're okay,
You can just go ahead,
- Yeah I could, but then I'd just worry about you
until you finally got back
and my whole day would be ruined,
- Oh, well I would hate to ruin your day,
I mean, mine is going so well,
(male chuckles)
- Come on,
(light festive music)
A little rain never hurt nobody,
Should clear up,
- You think?
- Yeah,
- I hope so,
- So, who's that guy you went riding with the other day?
- What guy?
Oh, nobody, (male chuckles)
- That guy was a real piece of work,
- Yeah?
He wasn't very impressed with you either,
Said if you worked at his ranch, you'd be fired by now,
- Ha!
How'd he manage that?
- By complaining to your boss?
What?
You're so indispensable you can't be fired?
- Something like that,
- Wow,
Sure think a lot of yourself
for someone who shovels manure for a living,
- What do you think of me?
- What do you mean?
I don't think of you,
- Really?
- Yeah,
- I think about you,
- Is it relevant if I'm fat?
Even if it wasn't relevant
they act like I'm asking some deeply personal
and private question instead of something
that anyone's who's ever laid eyes on them already knows,
- Maybe they don't wanna be judged on looks,
- You're joking, right?
I mean, the whole thing is based on looks,
Not just online, but if we met at a bar
at a grocery store,
The only reason they would talk to me
is because they liked the way that I looked,
- Can't you tell how tall someone is in their pictures?
- You actually cannot,
Even if they're standing next to somebody
you cannot tell how tall somebody is from a photograph,
(male chuckles)
Yeah,
- All right, let's go,
- No, I can walk faster,
- I'm sure you can,
- No, you should ride,
- I'm not gonna ride while you walk,
- I,
Really, it's okay,
(light gentle music)
Are you sure?
- Yep,
- Okay,
Come on, get,
They were tired,
- Yeah,
- Well, I for one need a shower, so,
I'm just gonna go head in,
- Okay,
- [Katie] Okay what?
- Okay you can go,
- Thank you?
Thank you for saving me today,
- Any time,
Time to hit the showers,
- [Katie] Okay,
- Awfully hard letting you leave,
- Well, if only there was some way
that you could let me know that you wanted to see me again,
Some contraption you could use--
- Like a telephone?
- [Katie] That would work,
- All right smartypants, I'll call you,
- Okay,
You do know that it requires a certain set of digits, right?
- I do,
- [Katie] And do you want mine?
- I have them,
- You do?
How?
- You board here don't you?
- Yeah,
I guess I just didn't realize
you had access to that kind of information,
All right, well, make sure you wait
the socially acceptable three days before you call me,
- Not a chance,
(light gentle music) (Katie laughs)
(birds chirping)
Sweet dreams,
- Goodnight,
(phone ringing)
- Hi,
- I did it,
I found a holiday boyfriend,
- Really?
Where?
- He works at my ranch,
- [Valerie] You're gonna date a stable boy?
- I am for the next month and a half,
- Is he cute?
- He's so cute,
- Great, does he need the Valerie stamp of approval?
- No,
I already know he is not marriage material,
so he is perfect for this,
- Really?
What's the deal?
Is he a player?
- No,
- Oh,
Then why isn't he marriage material?
- Oh, he's kind of weird and awkward,
- And broke,
- Yeah,
Not at all what you would picture me with,
But the chemistry is good,
- Well perfect,
- Look, I'm gonna jump in the shower,
I will see you tomorrow, right?
- [Valerie] You got it,
- Okay,
Goodnight,
- Goodnight,
Atta girl,
(phone ringing)
- Hello,
- [Male] Hey, it's Jacob,
- Hi,
- [Jacob] Gave it a day, that's all you get,
- I'll let it slide,
- [Jacob] Busy tonight?
- No,
- [Jacob] Okay, I'm gonna take you out,
- I think can be arranged,
- [Jacob] Great,
Text me your address, and I'll pick you up at 7:30,
- Okay,
- [Jacob] I'll see you then,
- Bye,
I can't get that guy to shut up,
(door knocking)
Coming!
Hi,
- [Jacob] Hey,
- Come on in,
How are you?
- Good,
- Good, well just make yourself comfortable, okay,
I'm gonna just grab my shoes, my jacket,
I had a client stay late so I was a little,,,
What are you doing?
I said make yourself comfortable,
this is not comfortable,
Come in, explore,
My apartment doesn't bite,
What are you doing?
Come, sit,
- I'm fine,
- Okay,
Let's go,
- You're gonna need a warm coat,
- [Katie] I have this,
- A coat,
- [Katie] I don't wanna wear a coat,
- Trust me,
You're gonna wanna wear a warm coat,
- Yeah, that'll work,
(festive music)
- [Katie] Where are we going?
- Ah, just a quaint little place
I like to call none ya business,
- Even if I'm gonna be there?
- Even if you're gonna be there,
Matter of fact, close your eyes,
- I am not closing my eyes!
- [Jacob] You're so difficult,
- Yeah, get used to it,
- I intend to,
Now close your eyes,
- Fine,
This is ridiculous,
- You're ridiculous,
- You want me to stay like this the whole way?
- [Jacob] The whole way!
Where is your discipline?
- Are we going to the ranch?
- [Jacob] Will you just keep your eyes closed?
(Jacob clears throat)
- Can I open?
- [Jacob] Nope,
Coming to get ya,
- [Katie] Okay,
- [Jacob] Keep 'em closed,
- [Katie] They're closed,
- [Jacob] Good work, good work,
Just a little further,
(Katie giggling)
Okay hold it,
Keep 'em closed, keep 'em closed,
- Can I open?
- [Jacob] Patience woman, patience!
- It's not really my strong suit,
- I can tell,
Okay,
Open,
(light gentle music)
- It's beautiful,
- [Jacob] Come on,
- I can't believe you did this,
Aren't you the romantic,
- I have my moments,
- What are we gonna eat?
There's no way you could have prepared food,
brought it here,,,
Someone's delivering a pizza aren't they?
- Nope,
Even better,
(speaking foreign language)
- What are you gonna do with those?
- [Jacob] Cook 'em,
- Where?
- [Jacob] Over the fire,
- Are you serious?
- First time?
- [Katie] Yes,
- All right, well then I'll get you started,
- Are you sure that's
sanitary,
Yeah?
- [Jacob] Are you kidding?
- Okay, well,,,
- You're worried about sanitation?
(Katie laughing)
- Yeah,
- Let's go to the fire,
- Okay,
- Don't throw it right into the flames,
It's gonna make it burn,
- Well, I for sure want it cooked,
- Yeah, well, just hold it up,
- Yeah?
Okay, all right, - Hold it up a little,
- [Jacob] It's a fire,
It's gonna produce heat, - So bossy,
- [Katie] Telling me what to do,
I want mine cooked all the way,
- Who's the rookie here?
- Okay yes, that's true,
True,
- Tell me, how'd you get into riding?
- I was that little girl who wanted a pony
for every birthday party, every holiday,
My parents just couldn't manage it,
So as soon as I was able,
I purchased Charlie and it's been he and I ever since,
Wow, it's so quiet,
It's so beautiful up here,
- Sure is,
And now, for the piece de la resistance,
- [Katie] What is that?
- Best part of the night,
It's time to make s'mores,
¶ It's time for s'mores ¶
Go ahead,
Let's do s'mores,
- [Katie] What is a s'more?
- What!
Were you raised by wolves?
What is a s'more? - No!
- [Jacob] How do you now know what a s'more is?
- Oh,
Oh my, (Jacob laughs)
- It's okay,
There you go,
Woo!
You really do like to just dive into the flame don't you?
- Wow,
- Just leave it, chuck those off,
- Really?
- Yeah,
- Those are no good?
- Eh,
- You don't like 'em burnt?
- I personally don't, you might,
- That's the only way I cook,
Just so you're aware,
Burnt, that's what you get is burnt,
- Remind to never ask you to cook,
- I was never gonna offer anyway, don't worry,
Can I have some more,
- Yeah, (Katie laughs)
You see, I just said it!
- See what you did? - I just said it!
- Now you're learning, - Oh my god,
- [Jacob] There ya go,
You know, my Dad always said,
"Ain't no use building a fire
"if you're not gonna roast marshmallows over it,"
- He sounds nice,
- He was,
He'd of liked you,
- Jacob, maybe we should talk about
what we're doing here,
(slow paced music) - Okay,
- I just wanna make sure that we're on the same page,
With my job, I have some extra time over the holidays and,,,
I was hoping we could spend some of it together,
- So what, this is a fling?
- No,
It's two consenting adults
making the most of a special time of year,
- So a holiday fling?
- Fine, if you wanna think of it that way,
- [Jacob] I don't,
- Well I'm not thinking of it that way,
- Well it sure sounds like you are,
- Look, I just don't want anybody to get hurt,
I like spending time with you,
But, I just don't see this becoming anything long-term,
- Why not?
- I'm looking for something very specific,
- And I'm not him,
- Look, we don't have to do this, okay,
That's why I'm telling you,
So you can make an educated decision,
I would love to spend the holidays with you,
but if that's not something you're interested in,
that's totally fine,
However, if that is something that you're interested in,
I'm planning to decorate my apartment on Friday,
I could use some help,
- So now I'm free labor?
- No,
Fine, you come, I'll do all the heavy lifting,
- Okay,
- But I got rules,
(festive music)
- About decorating my apartment?
- About our holiday fling,
- Okay,
- First, you don't date anyone but me,
- Done,
- Second,
I get to go out with you at least three times a week,
- Are you sure?
That is a lot of times a week to see me,
- I'm sure,
- Yeah?
Okay,
- And finally,
there'll be no sex,
- Really? Why?
- 'Cause I wanna win this thing fair and square,
If we have sex, you're not gonna be able to resist me,
- It's not something to win, it's not a competition,
- If you say so,
- I say so,
- Okay,
- Rules still stand,
- Okay,
- Now, try this,
- Yeah,
That is delicious!
- Right?
- Oh my gosh!
How have I never had one of these?
- I don't know,
- It's probably your go to,
It's probably what you do with all the girls,
Right?
- No, no,
- Take them to the ranch, make them dinner,
- I'll take them to the ranch, - Oh!
- [Jacob] but I don't do s'mores for everyone,
- Okay, well, thanks for walking me up,
- My pleasure,
- I'll see you on Friday?
- Sure,
- Okay,
Goodnight,
- Goodnight,
(slow paced music)
- Tease,
- [Jacob] Right back at ya,
- He said no sex?
- [Keiko] You have to marry this man,
- She might be right,
- There is no way that I am marrying him,
- What?
Too handsome and respectful?
- He is a stable boy,
- Yeah,
But a stable boy who can lay down the law!
- Yes, I'm into that,
- Look, it's nothing like that,
He's weird,
- He's weird?
- Yeah, he wouldn't even come in and sit down in my apartment,
I went to get my shoes and my jacket,
I came back and he was standing there
like a weird statue,
- Maybe he's just phobic?
- Yeah, that's not really helping his case,
I just think he's just socially stunted,
You know, the kind of person who stands
all by themselves at a party?
My whole life would be spent entertaining him at events,
How exhausting would that be?
- Well that depends on how many parties
you plan on going to,
(Valerie laughs)
- Yeah Katie, maybe you can manage it
for the one or two parties you go to a year,
- Ha ha,
- Here you go,
Three thanksgiving specials,
- Thank you,
- I'll see you later?
- Uh-huh,
- Young love,
- Yeah,
Isn't it the best?
- So have you two done it yet?
- Done what?
- Never mind,
Okay, so Jacob is coming over
to help you decorate tomorrow?
- Yep,
- Is he actually coming inside to sit?
- Fingers crossed,
- How will you thank him properly
without your usual methods at your disposal,
- I don't know,
Say thank you,
- Yawn, yawn, yawn,
- [Katie] Yeah, you are just jealous,
- Of your non-love life?
- That I don't have to put out,
- But putting out is the best part!
- Okay, and on that note,
I would like to say
that I am very grateful for both of you,
And I don't know what I would do without you,
Happy Thanksgiving,
- [Keiko] Happy Thanksgiving,
- Here, here!
- [Keiko] Get tanked!
- Ooh, that is yummy,
("Joy To The World" instrumental)
Wait, wait!
- I'm fine, I got this,
We're good,
- [Katie] Watch the frame--
- Watch your doorframe?
It's gonna end up getting through the opening,
All right,
And I thought you said I wasn't
gonna have to do any work,
- Yeah,
I lied,
Wait, wait, wait!
Wait,
- You're gonna do a ceremony for this?
- Well, you're gonna just light it?
- What do you wanna do? - I mean this,,,
- [Katie] Okay, plug it in,
What am I gonna do with you?
(light gentle music)
- Look at that,
- Oh, it's so cute,
- It looks good right?
- We need some,
Yeah, just like that,
- Yeah?
Okay,
(Katie laughing)
- Hi,
- It's morning,
- So it is,
- I can't believe we slept here all night,
Usually I can't sleep with so many clothes on,
(Jacob chuckling)
- You kicked those off in the middle of the night,
- Yeah,
- I promise I'll turn around and let you put those back on
if you promise to kick 'em off again,
- Yeah I bet,
(Jacob chuckles)
- Don't you have to go to work or something?
- [Jacob] Nope,
- Really?
You don't have to feed horses or muck stalls?
- Nah, sometimes,
Hey, is it okay if I take a shower?
- Sure,
Aren't you all cozy all of a sudden,
- What do you mean?
- Nothing,
Go ahead,
- Nah, did you want to take a shower first?
- [Katie] No, it's okay, you go,
- No, no, ladies first,
I insist,
- Are you sure?
I'll be super, out so fast,
- Go, go, go!
- All right,
(Katie laughing)
(door knocking)
- [Jacob] Is it my turn?
- Yes, sorry,
I know I'm taking way too long,
- No problem,
- I am done,
I don't have any boy stuff,
Oh actually, my ex left this,
Body wash,
- Nah,
- No, okay,
Toothbrush?
- His toothbrush?
- Yeah,
- Definitely not,
- No?
Probably better,
Whatever this is,
- It's a lawnmower,
- A what?
- [Jacob] A lawnmower,
- Huh, so no?
- Nah,
- No, okay, - I'll just use mine,
- [Katie] You have one of these?
- Oh yeah, sure,
You trim the hedges the tree stands taller,
- Oh,
Oh, I didn't, I didn't know it was for that,
I'm just gonna,
you just use whatever you want,
- Thank you,
(Jacob chuckles)
It's lavender, (door knocking)
- Wait, what are you doing?
- Huh?
- This is my expensive face cream,
- I bet it's expensive,
Is that glitter in there?
- It better be gold for what it costs,
My gosh,
Feel better?
- I do, I feel moisturized,
- Oh my god, - I feel golden!
- [Katie] I came in to see if you wanted
to go to breakfast,
- Would you like to talk about how you reacted
over lotion?
- No,
Yes,
- You don't wanna say "I'm sorry I made such
"a big deal over my expensive lotion Jacob?"
- No,
I mean maybe I overreacted a little bit,
but it certainly doesn't warrant an apology,
- That's you overreacting a little bit?
- Yes,
- All right,
Guess it's good to know what I'm getting myself into,
- What?
Shut up,
You're not even getting yourself into anything,
I didn't mean it like that,
- Let's go for a ride tomorrow,
- Okay,
- See ya,
Hi there,
- Hi,
Now you're saddling my horse for me?
- Ah I was here, figured why wait,
Don't worry, you can bathe them
and put them away later,
- Oh I see, so this was not a romantic gesture,
but a quid pro quo situation
where I get to do most of the work,
- What work?
You let 'em roll around in the dirt
and then you put 'em away,
- No, you, (stuttering),
you still have to brush them after they--
- If you say so,
- [Katie] I say so,
- All right,
Then it shall be done,
- Thank you,
- [Jacob] Here, put this on,
- Me or the horse,
- [Jacob] Either,
- [Katie] Hi baby,
You ready to go for a ride,
(upbeat music)
Wait, wait, wait, no, no, no!
You gotta wash them first,
- They don't wash it at the grocery store?
- No they do not wash it at the grocery store,
- You kidding me?
- No, I am serious,
- I thought that the produce people
were in charge of all of that,
Oh come on,
- Yeah, take that,
Okay, you know what,
You have to go,
- You're pushing me out of your house?
- [Katie] Yes!
- I'm going!
All right,
- Come here, okay,
(Katie giggling)
Wait,
Okay, bye,
(door closing)
Okay, I have my wallet with my ID,
my passport, and my ticket,
I have my phone, my charger,
and a book,
I think I'm all set,
- So that's it then?
- If by that do you mean, am I ready to go, then yes,
- Okay,
Be here in the morning,
bright and early,
- Don't leave,
It's early,
Jacob, I'm gonna be back in five days,
- And then what?
We wave at each other at the ranch
as you take a ride with some other dude?
- [Katie] Of course not,
- Well then what Katie?
Holiday fling is usually over with the holiday,
- I don't know, but not that,
- Okay,
See ya in the morning,
- Don't leave,
- Why not?
You're going to,
- I'm coming back,
- It's not what I meant and you know it,
- Stay,
Stay,
(light upbeat music)
(gentle music)
(birds chirping)
We're late,
We forgot to set an alarm,
- What's wrong?
- Nothing,
We're late,
- You regret last night, don't you?
- I don't regret it,
I'm unhappy about what it means,
- [Jacob] Why?
What does it mean?
- What it means is that now this is
gonna be harder than before,
Because when I said I didn't want a long-term relationship
I meant it,
And now, this is just, it's completely--
- What?
Completely what?
What are you so afraid of?
- This,
This can never work,
You and I are in completely different social
and economic circles,
- So?
That's easy for you to say
when being with me can only raise
your social and economic status,
- [Jacob] What are you talking about?
- You know what, it doesn't matter,
- Seems like it does,
- It seems like you don't even understand what I'm saying,
- It seems like you're saying you hang out
with a snootier crowd and make more money than me,
- Oh, so you do understand,
- Wow,
I never had you pegged for a gold digger,
- Oh, that's right,
Because if a woman wants a man with a decent income
she must be a gold digger,
I mean never mind how hard she's worked on her own career
or that being in a long-term relationship
means the possibility of a baby,
Something can only hinder her career,
- You think I don't make enough money
to provide for my family?
- How much can you possibly make mucking out stalls?
- I own the ranch!
It's mine!
And the one across the street,
I bought the first one when I was in my 20s,
Second one I bought a few years ago,
(solemn music)
Katie,
- You own the ranch?
Why would you let me think that you were the stable boy?
- Look, I didn't say anything 'cause--
- 'Cause?
What?
I mean, it's a test?
- What?
That's crazy,
- Really?
You didn't wanna see if I would still fall for you
even though I thought you were just the stable boy?
Wow, you must have a really low opinion
of my character,
- Katie, I love you,
- You obviously think that I am capable
of picking a mate based entirely on the
size of his income!
- I didn't think that,
it just seemed to matter to you a lot,
And that made me nervous, so I--
- Lied,
You lied about who you are,
And you know what, that's fine,
because this is over,
- Katie,
- You should go,
- No, I'm gonna take you to the airport,
- I need you to leave,
- Come on,
Let me take you to the airport,
My last duty as the holiday boyfriend,
- You lied to me,
- I know,
And I'm sorry,
- No, I can't,
I can't be lied to, or betrayed, or hurt anymore,
I can't,
Please, I'm sorry, just go,
Please,
- You know I would have come with you,
- What?
- Home,
For Christmas,
All you had to do was ask,
(Katie sobbing)
- [Katie] Happy holidays,
- Be here soon,
Oh wait, there she is,
Katie!
Oh, there you are! - Hi!
- [Older Male] Hey there!
- We've been waiting for you!
- Sorry I'm late,
- Welcome home,
- Hurry up, dinner's ready,
We're eating,
- Okay, give me a second,
I'm gonna just go put my stuff in my room okay,
- Of course,
(solemn music)
- [Katie] Hi guys!
- [Everyone] Hey Katie!
- Michael,
- Hi Kat, long time no see,
- What are you doing here?
- Michael's in town for work,
Isn't that crazy,
So when he stopped by to say hi,
I invited him for dinner,
- I didn't mean to intrude,
but your mom insisted,
Was this a bad idea?
- Oh, - No,
- [Mom] No, no, no, no, don't be ridiculous,
There's no reason you can't stay for dinner,
Right Kate?
- Yeah,
Nothing weird about that,
Hi Dad,
- [Dad] Hi sweetheart,
- [Katie] Hi,
How are you?
- Nice you made it,
Awesome, - Yes,
- [Katie] Sorry for the stretch,
- [Brother-In-Law] You're good,
- [Little Boy] Hi,
- [Katie] Hi,
- Look what I got here,
- I'll just go brush up,
- [Dad] Okay,
- I'm sorry to ambush you,
But your Mom seemed to think we should surprise you,
- That's because she knew if I knew you were here,
I wouldn't come home,
- Don't be like that,
- Like what?
- I just, I just wanna come say hi,
That's all,
And I knew if I'd give me the chance to say no,
then you would,
- So you did mean to ambush me,
Geeze Michael, for years I begged you
to come home with me for Christmas,
and now we haven't seen each other in over a year,
here you are,
- I'm sorry,
But my company set up our new office out here,
I was the only one who's ever been to Colorado,
So I was volunteered,
- That doesn't explain what you're doing here
at my parents house,
- I missed you,
- Come on you two, foods getting cold,
- So Michael, what have you been up to
since last time we saw ya?
- Not much, this new company's keeping me pretty busy,
- Yeah?
You guys are opening up a new office out here,
that's pretty exciting,
- Yeah, you know, we've been lucky,
- [Brother-In-Law] That's awesome,
- Yeah, how long are you gonna be out here for?
- So we were hoping the new office
would be open up and running by now
but schedules been delayed,
which is why I'm still here for the holidays,
So now we're trying for the first,
Make a real strong start for the new year,
- Yeah, good luck with that,
- Yeah, it'd be good,
- So, Michael, what are you doing for Christmas?
- Mom, (quirky music)
- Well, he can't spend Christmas alone,
- Thanks Mrs, Freeman but I'm a big boy,
I'll be just fine,
- Well, you're always welcome Michael,
- Obviously,
- [Brother-In-Law] I agree, I like having Michael around,
- [Sister] Come on kids let's go,
Time to go home,
Let's say goodbye to Aunt Katie,
Bye,
- [Katie] Bye,
- It's so nice to see you,
- Yes, you too,
We'll see you again tomorrow,
- For Christmas Eve?
- For Christmas Eve,
What happens on Christmas Eve?
- [Little Boy] Santa comes to visit!
And he has a
package for presents,
- For presents,
Only if you've been good,
Have you been good?
- [Little Girl] I have been,
- You have been, that's all I heard,
(people chattering)
Ever, ever!
Bye,
- [Brother-In-Law] See ya Katie,
- [Dad] I'm gonna put your jacket on,
You're welcome,
- [Katie] Bye you guys!
- [Little Girl] Bye!
Bye grandma, bye grandpa!
- [Dad] Good to see ya,
- [Brother-In-Law] You too,
- I'll walk you out,
- So,,,
- What?
- What are you up to tomorrow?
- Why?
- I don't know, I was thinking
maybe we could hang out,
- Why?
- Why not?
Come on!
Just give me one day, after that you can hate me
forever from afar,
- I don't want to hate you,
I want to nothing you,
- Ouch,
Just hear me out,
- Fine,
Lunch, tomorrow,
- I'll pick you up at one,
(door creaking)
- [Dad] Michael, goodnight,
- Always glad to see you,
- I'm going to bed,
- Okay, goodnight Katie,
- Goodnight,
(door knocking)
- Come in!
- How ya doing?
- You know that's the guy who dumped me last year, right?
Like, right before Christmas,
Probably just so he didn't have to
come home with me for the holidays,
- You seem so sad last year,
I'd never seen you like that,
I know you tried to hide it
but it was like you'd lost your best friend,
- I had,
- I know,
So when Michael showed up I figured,
what the heck?
He wants redemption,
Let's give him a chance,
It's not like you were dating someone else,
- I am dating someone else,
- You are?
- Yes, - I mean,
- [Mom] Well you haven't said anything to me
or on social media,
- That's because I didn't want either of you to know,
- Well honey, then, who is he?
Then why do you still seem so sad?
- We didn't part on very good terms,
He lied to me,
- Well,
sounds like maybe you're better off without him,
- No,
I lied to him too,
All this time I've been telling him
that he is not good enough for me,
but that's not true,
The truth is that Michael hurt me so badly,
I'm broken,
And I have been desperately running around
trying to find love but,
I don't want to love,
Because I don't ever wanna be hurt like that again,
And as soon as I saw Michael I knew
it was never Jacob,
It was always me,
And as soon as he hurt me,
I used it as an excuse to get out,
- You can't love and not get hurt,
It's just not possible,
Your friends, your husband, your kids,
at some point they all disappoint you honey,
And they all make you cry,
But life isn't worth anything without them,
And you're strong enough,
Strong enough to forgive and move on,
That's all you need for any relationship honey,
- What if he can't forgive me?
All I've done is push him away,
- If he loves you, he will forgive you,
So, what are you gonna do about Michael?
- Well I'm not gonna invite him over for Christmas,
But I think we can talk,
and I can finally move on,
- Okay, good,
Okay, goodnight Katie,
- Goodnight Mom,
Mom,
- Hm?
- Thanks,
- Love you honey,
- Love you too,
- Why the blue icing?
- Christmas,
(phone ringing)
- Hiya,
What's up,
- You will never believe who's here,
- [Valerie] Who?
- Michael,
- What?
- [Keiko] What happened?
- Michael's in Colorado,
- [Keiko] What?
- I'm gonna put you on speaker,
So, what, did he text you?
- No, he was here at my parents house when I got here,
- What? Why?
How?
Why was he there?
- He stopped by to say hi to my parents
and my Mom invited him over to dinner,
- Why would she do that?
- Something about redemption,
- Well he doesn't deserve redemption, that snake!
I can't believe he just showed up like that
after all this time,
What did you do?
- What could I do?
My whole family was like,
"Oh Michael, it's so nice to see you,
"It's been such a long time, please take Katie back,"
- They said that?
- [Katie] No Keiko, they didn't actually say that,
- He's gone right?
Never again,
- Well,
we're having lunch tomorrow,
- You're having lunch tomorrow, with Michael?
- [Keiko] Why is she doing that?
- Keiko, I can hear you,
- I'm talking to Valerie,
Why is she doing that?
- For closure,
I'm tired of being stuck,
and hurt, and angry,
I wanna be open,
- I think closure might be overrated,
- Yeah, I don't think this lunch
is a very good idea,
Have you talked to Jacob about this?
(solemn music)
Katie? - Uh oh,
- [Katie] We broke up,
- What?
Seriously?
Katie, I think you're taking this
whole holiday boyfriend thing a little too far,
- No, not because of that,
- Then why?
- Jacob owns the ranch,
He's not the stable boy,
- Okay,
Well,
that's new information,
Not bad information,
but why would he lie about that?
- Duh, she kept calling him her holiday boyfriend,
And that probably made him feel
like she didn't really like him for who he was,
If she knew that he was the owner of the ranch
and she still didn't want him,
then that would mean he had a problem with his person,
But--
- If I didn't want him because of the money,
that would mean there was something wrong
with me as a person,
- So he was protecting himself?
- He probably couldn't bear the thought
of losing you,
Of being enough for you,
This way he had an excuse,
- [Valerie] So what are you gonna do?
- I don't know,
I mean the plan was always to break up
after the holidays, maybe I should just--
- Katie, I don't think that's what you really want,
- When he told me, it was like,
I didn't even know who he was,
And I haven't exactly treated him well,
I mean, maybe he's better off without me,
- Are you crazy?
This man's in love with you!
- She's right,
And I don't say that about her very often,
- Hey,
- Look, it's been a really long day,
I'm gonna try to get some sleep okay?
I'll call you guys tomorrow?
- Okay,
- Night sprites and bed bug bites,
- Okay goodnight,
- [Valerie] Goodnight,
- What are we gonna do?
- What do you mean what are we gonna do?
What can we do?
- What if Michael uses his voodoo magic on her?
She's helpless against that,
- Yeah, (slow light music)
I have an idea,
(phone beeping)
- Hi,
- Oh hi,
Where are you off to?
- Lunch with Micheal,
I'll be back,
- Okay, dinner's at six,
Don't be late,
- Don't worry, I'll be back way before then,
My jacket,
(quirky music)
(car engine turns)
- [Katie] You waited so long, I've moved on,
- You're absolutely certain
that you're not gonna change your mind?
Katie, don't throw away everything that we ever had!
- Jacob,
- What?
- Hey Katie,
- [Katie] What are you doing here?
- Valerie texted me,
- Valerie texted you and so you drove to Colorado?
- Yup,
- I'm sorry,
but who is this guy? (upbeat festive music)
- None of your business,
- Katie, I mean it,
We've been through so much together,
Don't just throw it all away!
Especially,
not for this guy,
- I'm not the one who threw us away Michael, you did,
And this guy just drove across three states
because my best friend texted him,
- You gotta be kidding me,
You know what Katie, don't come crawling back to me
when this little thing doesn't work out for ya!
- [Katie] I can't believe you're here,
- What kind of a holiday boyfriend would I be
if I wasn't here for the actual holiday?
I'm sorry,
- Keiko says you were protecting yourself
because I didn't accept you for who you are,
- Keiko said that?
- Yeah, really,
- Still,
I should've said something,
I don't know why I was so--
- Insecure,
- Easy now,
- It did seem like you were afraid,
- Afraid?
- Yeah, like maybe you were scared to tell me--
- Scared of what?
What was I scared of?
- Yeah, scared like you know how you're like,
"Oh no, what if I tell her
"and she doesn't like me anymore!"
I'm serious!
- Who's scared now?
Who's this?
- [Jacob And Katie] Who's that?
- Oh!
- Katie!
- Hi guys!
- How are you?
Who's this?
- [Katie] This is Jacob,
- Jacob, good to meet you,
- [Jacob] Good meeting you,
- Am I missing something here?
- We've been dating for the past month,
- So, Jacob, you must be the one
Katie's been telling me about,
So nice to meet you,
- [Jacob] Pleasure to meet you,
- Come inside, it's cold!
- Let's do this!
So you from around here?
- [Jacob] No, I came up from L,A,
- [Brother-In-Law] Nice!
Well, welcome--
(Jacob speaks too low)
(everyone laughing)
- [Jacob] Ah, you look good to me,
¶ Joy to the world ¶
¶ The Lord is come ¶
¶ Let earth receive ¶
¶ Her king ¶
¶ Let every heart ¶
¶ Prepare him room ¶
¶ And saints and angels sing ¶
¶ And saints and saints ¶
¶ And angels sing ¶
- "As he flew out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all
"and to all a good night!"
- More!
Another one, another one!
Read "Frosty the Snowman!"
- Thanks Mom!
No, tell Grandma thank you,
- [Little Boy] That one, that one!
- No, Santa Claus is coming!
Santa is coming,
- Yeah, yeah!
- You have to go to bed,
- Do you guys hear sleigh bells?
Do you guys hear sleigh bells?
- Do you hear them?
- I hear sleigh bells!
- Thanks Grandma,
Goodnight, - Of course,
- [Mom] Goodnight,
Goodnight,
Got sugar plums,
Oh my gosh,
(fire crackling)
- So,
What should Santa be bringing?
- Nothing,
I already got everything I wanted for Christmas this year,
A holiday boyfriend,
(phone ringing)
- Hey, everything okay?
- [Katie] Yes,
Jacob's here,
- Good,
- What did you say in that text?
- Oh, just that your ex was sniffing around,
begging for you to come back,
And that if he didn't do something quick,
he might lose you forever,
- Such a liar,
- Partially true,
- Hey Val?
- [Valerie] Yes,
- Merry Christmas,
- Merry Christmas Katie,
- Hey, tell her Merry Christmas from me,
- Oh I think she heard you,
- Who's that?
- Oh, it's just my holiday boyfriend,
- Goodnight!
- Valerie, don't you dare hangup!
(light music)
Ugh,
¶ It's been forever since I've seen your face ¶
¶ I wanna run into that warm embrace again ¶
¶ I wanna go to that familiar place ¶
¶ Where everybody knows my name ¶
¶ I've been far away ¶
¶ I have so much to say to you ¶
¶ I'm coming home today ¶
¶ Where every time that I'm ¶
¶ With you ¶
¶ It's a holiday ¶
¶ I'm taking every freeway to you ¶
¶ I'm coming home today ¶
¶ So we can celebrate ¶
¶ All day ¶
¶ 'Cause you're my holiday ¶
¶ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ¶
¶ You're my holiday ¶
¶ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ¶
¶ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ¶
¶ I've been wishing on the stars all night ¶
¶ To make the days run faster than the light ¶
¶ Anything so that I can see your smile ¶
¶ And I can hold you close just for a while ¶
¶ I've been far away ¶
¶ I have so much to say to you ¶
¶ I'm coming home today ¶
¶ Where every time that I'm with you ¶
¶ It's a holiday ¶
¶ I'm taking every freeway to you ¶
¶ I'm coming home today ¶
¶ So we can celebrate ¶
¶ All day ¶
¶ 'Cause you're my holiday ¶
¶ Yeah, yeah ¶
¶ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ¶
¶ You're my holiday ¶
¶ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ¶
¶ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ¶
¶ If I could give you every ¶
¶ Ray of hope ¶
¶ I'd shine on every path you take ¶
¶ Fill it with joy ¶
¶ If I could give you every ¶
¶ Ray of hope ¶
¶ I'd give it all, give it all ¶
¶ Give it all ¶
¶ Give it with all my joy ¶
¶ Oh ¶
¶ Ooh ¶