- Look, he's got a peg leg,
He thinks he's possessed by Black Bart the pirate,
He'll be perfect for an "Encounters" episode,
Just get me some pictures,
You're here!
Well,
- You brought me here to play backgammon?
- I like to keep busy while I talk,
- Can we do something a little more interesting?
- Naked checkers?
Well, I'm just kidding,
- Chess,
- Chess it is,
- So why did you ask me to do this interview?
- Out of everyone in the entertainment world,
you despise me the most,
- I didn't randomly decide not to like you,
I'm doing it on purpose,
- Why?
- Everything you do is built on lies,
- Well, my "Encounters" TV show exaggerates
the truth for entertainment,
That's called drama,
- That is the best justification
for lying I have ever heard,
- You have a very odd way of looking at things,
- I'm a reporter, the truth means everything,
- I'm a producer, entertainment means everything,
And most people don't know what the truth is anyway,
- I can sniff a lie out in record time,
- Okay, then I'll tell you a lie
and you won't know what it is until I tell you what it is,
- Doubt it,
- And when I reveal the truth,
you have to admit that the lie made for better drama,
- Deal,
- So where's your crew?
- You're looking at it,
- Big-shot columnist with "The Times"
and you gotta do your own grunt work,
- Well, in case you hadn't noticed,
prime media is dying,
I'm responsible for producing all the online content
for my articles,
- Well, if you had worked for me,
you'd have somebody doing that for you,
- I would never work for you,
So, are you married?
- Well, if you did your research, you'd already know that,
- I was just making small talk
to make you feel more comfortable,
You've been married three times,
Recently divorced from wife number three, when?
- Ah, it was about the time
that I started producing "Encounters,"
but I don't think we came here to talk about my wives,
- No, we didn't,
So why are you in jail?
- Because I'm evil,
- I looked into your criminal record,
- Anything interesting?
- You don't have one,
- Well, the day is still young,
- I even had our chief hacker at the newsroom
do a forensic analysis on your files,
- You hacked me?
- We call it research and she found nothing,
No criminal record, no trace of tampering,
- Is that even ethical?
- Yes,
- See, bold-faced lie,
You and I have more in common than you think,
So are you married?
- If you must know, my fiance left me at the alter,
- Really? - Yep,
- I said, "I do," and he said, "You're not it,"
And then, he walked away, - Ouch,
- I pray every day that he gets hit by a gas truck
and tastes his own blood before he dies,
- Well, it's good to know you're at peace with that,
- I need more light,
- Well, just open up your iris, boost the gain,
Reset your white balance,
- I'd rather open the window,
- I wouldn't recommend it,
- What's that?
- Bullet hole, drive-by shooting,
That reminds me, I've gotta text the Sheriff,
Tell him I'm gonna fix that,
as per our previous conversation,
- They let prisoners have cell phones?
- Well, I'm not a prisoner,
I mean, I am, but not like you think,
- Hold that thought,
Okay,
And we're rolling,
Can you stand up right here?
A little to your right,
Perfect,
Okay,
- Roger Namroc interview, quiet on the set,
Scene one, take one, action,
- You still calling the shots from jail?
- Once a producer, always a producer,
- Slate and three, two,
I'm Tara Aluran with "The Times" coming to you
from inside Brevard County Jail,
Joining me today is the very successful
and recently very reclusive producer, Roger Namroc,
Roger's latest show "Encounters" focuses
on the bizarre and unusual,
- Nice to meet you, Tara, - Roger,
- Tell us about your show,
- "Encounters" is an off--
- Hold that thought,
Gotta reset the camera, - All right,
- Great, we're rolling,
So, "Encounters,"
- Well, "Encounters" is an off-balance combination
of science fiction, superstition, and conspiracy theory,
but it's all rooted in some actual events,
We explore the real, the unreal, and the beyond,
- And how did you first come up
with the idea for "Encounters"?
- Well, it was 2017,
and I'd just landed a big distribution deal internationally
for a cyber detective series
that I produced a couple years earlier,
- Was that after your documentary, "The Orb I Live On"?
- Yes, and things were good; money, licensing deals,
- Then, why "Encounters"?
- Well, so I'm at this conference
and I run into the vice president of programming
for a science fiction network,
I tell him, "I love your network," just to butter him up,
Then, I tell him, "You have way too many reruns,"
- And he agreed?
- So I ask him, "What if I could produce a low-cost,
"schlocky science fiction show for late night
"that was much cheaper than the reruns?"
- And that was "Encounters"?
- No, that was a bold-faced lie, so now I'm in panic mode,
- Is that when you learned your lesson
about lying and never did it again?
- No, that's when I double down and tell an even bigger lie,
That I've got an entire pitch ready to present,
but I don't have it with me,
So I asked if we could meet after the conference,
- The birth of a sociopath,
- So he gives me his business card,
Asked me to send him the pitch,
so I go back to the office and tell everybody,
"We need a low-cost, schlocky science fiction show pronto,"
- Is that when you stole the idea from your editor?
- Well, when you work for a company
and you're paid for your creativity,
any idea you generate belongs to the company,
- Sounds predatory,
- Sounds like business,
- So you buy, steal, borrow this idea from your editor?
- So he says to me, "What if we did
"one of those supernatural investigation stories?"
So we start talking about what it takes
to find that kinda stuff and investigate it,
and we decide it's way too expensive, unless,
unless we exploit some actual cases
and then we just make up the rest of the details,
- Perfect, more lies,
Are we actually going to play chess during this interview?
- Yeah, I can do both,
So that's how we came up with the show,
- "Encounters,"
- Alien encounters, werewolf sightings,
spontaneous human combustion,
even a story with a leprechaun,
- You're actually making my head hurt,
- So we put it all together and we pitch it to the VP,
- And he loves it?
- He says, "I'd like to see a pilot first,"
So I tell him, "We'll do you one better,
"Put together two or three episodes,"
So I set out fleshing out the script,
the shooting, the casting, the post production,
All in all, takes about a year,
- It took a year to produce "Alien Probe"?
- Yeah, it's about a stripper
who thinks she's probed by aliens,
It's like deep investigative stuff,
Here, I've got several episodes on this,
- I've seen it, thanks,
- I mean, who doesn't wanna see strippers
and aliens on late night television?
- Me,
- You're just afraid to have fun,
- So why didn't "Encounters" get picked up
by this sci-fi network?
- Well, by the time we got it all done,
the guy that we talked to, that VP had left the company,
and the new guy wanted nothing to do with it,
- Somehow, "Encounters" became wildly successful anyway,
- Well, at that time, you have YouTube,
the Internet's still exploding,
there's a huge TV audience out there,
and that audience loves the show,
- Okay, we're good,
- Wait, we're just getting started,
- And now we're just finishing,
- But you didn't ask enough questions,
Wait a minute,
You already have this story written in your head,
- Nope,
- You just showed up here to shoot the interview
for an excuse to write the story,
You never intended to give me a fair shake,
- A fair shake?
You of all people have no right to talk about being fair,
- What's that supposed to mean?
- You really don't remember, do you?
- You're gonna have to narrow it down,
- You remember this?
- I've seen thousands of headshots,
- That was me,
I was in my 20s and I auditioned for one of your movies,
- Which one?
- "The Notorious Mrs, Foxworthy,"
- I loved making that movie,
I thought it would do better,
You auditioned for it?
- I auditioned for you,
- And I take it that didn't go well,
- Nope, I remember your exact words to me,
"You're not Mrs, Foxworthy material,
"You're really more like a bimbo,"
- I said that? - Mm-hmm,
- I'm sure I was just trying to be honest,
- Honest?
You were just being mean!
When I asked you for a shot,
you said, "You're not it!"
and then you called out, "Next!"
After that, my agent dropped me,
I was out of time and money,
and I had to take a job at the local paper
just to pay my bills!
- So all this time, you've been carrying a grudge?
Why do you keep looking at that?
- The bullet hole, it's freaking me out,
- Because?
- I kind of have OCD,
It makes me feel unsafe,
- It's a jail,
Unsafe in a jail?
- It's open to the world,
A bug could get in,
- It's a bullet hole from a drive-by
and you're worried about a bug?
- I didn't come here to talk about me,
I've got enough, thanks!
- No, wait, don't go,
- Give me one good reason to stay,
- Because I'll give you the biggest story of your career,
- I doubt it,
- And I'll apologize for being mean to you,
- Not good enough,
- To be honest, I need your help,
- Why should I help you?
- Because I'm not the person you think I am anymore,
I'll prove it,
I know I was wrong not to give you a chance
and I'm sorry for that,
But I need you to give me a chance,
- Is this some kinda trick?
- No,
- You being nice to me?
- Apologizing? - No,
- Fine,
- Now, how 'bout we start by fixing this
bullet hole that's bothering you?
I've got a kit back here,
Let me grab your bag and get it outta the way,
You know, when you think about it,
I helped make you a success,
- I retract my statement about you being nice,
- I mean, all I'm saying is that first story you did,
you were trashing me, - Mm-hmm,
- But it got you noticed,
It made you famous,
So in a weird way--
- I owe you my success
because I was really good at my job?
- Okay, bad example,
- No, please, congratulate yourself some more,
Just let me get it on film first,
Here we go,
Okay,
We're rolling,
Go on,
- Look, I'm sorry,
- About what?
- About a lotta things,
The way I treated you was wrong,
but I don't do that to people anymore,
- Because you ran outta people?
- I got too successful too fast,
I was arrogant and rude, and I'm really sorry,
- Wow, I didn't expect a real apology,
- I really mean it,
- So, if you've learned your lesson
about being a better person,
then what are you doing differently?
- When I cast a show,
I try and treat everyone fair and balanced, you know?
I treat everyone like the Golden Rule,
- Okay, and where do you find all these people
who have had real encounters to be on your episodes?
- Well, like I say on the show,
I just basically put an ad in the newspaper,
- So, you're working on "Encounters,"
you're trying to be a better person,
I still don't understand what any of this has to do
with you being in jail,
- So about a year ago,
there was this gypsy lady,
She was weird,
and she wanted to be in one of my episodes,
- Isn't weird good TV?
- She was like creepy weird,
Like so much so I didn't want her anywhere near me,
anywhere near my shows,
- And creepy gypsy lady did not like this?
- She handed me this box,
- Of?
- It's just a little wooden box
and it had tarot cards in it,
And, apparently, a curse,
- Ooh, I like where this is going,
- And the curse,
it intensifies with everyone I meet,
- And what does this curse do?
- I, I can't tell you,
- Because you can't or you won't?
- Because you won't believe me,
- How am I supposed to believe anything you say?
- Look, just know that this curse is the only reason
that I'm living in a jail cell,
- Wait, you're living in this jail voluntarily?
- The curse intensifies with every person I meet,
so I try and minimize my exposure to the outside world,
This place helps me do that,
It keeps the curse from getting stronger,
I mean, I'm buddies with the Sheriff,
He let's me stay here,
He doesn't mind,
I just help out,
I do things like fix the window,
And I put him in one of my episodes,
- If you can't tell me what the curse does,
can you tell me how to break it?
- I have to get the person who likes me the least
to change their mind about me,
- And you think that's me,
- Why do you think I contacted you?
- I was hoping for a deathbed confession,
- I knew that it was you,
because, basically, because you've never written
anything nice about me,
- I've never seen anything about you
that's nice to write about,
- See, that proves it,
You're the one,
- You are seriously disturbed,
I already said I don't like you already
and apologizing isn't going to change my mind,
- Perfect!
- Oh, I have been stalked before,
but this is taking things to a whole new level,
- You can leave anytime you want and I can't follow you,
so that's hardly stalking,
We need to let that glue dry,
- Watching glue dry on TV,
This really is the best story of my career,
- Well, while we wait for that, let me show you something,
Here, I'll plug this in,
- Do you have an audio presentation?
- Something like that,
- Please say it's not karaoke,
- Oh, come on,
Don't say you hate it,
- It's just you, Roger,
I hate only you,
- But you're gonna love this,
- What I would love is to get back to our interview,
- And the chess game?
- Sure,
Okay,
All right,
Who runs your company while you're in jail?
- I do,
I mean, I can do everything via Skype or FaceTime,
but I worry about it,
- About what?
- I started that company from the ground up,
I should be on the ground running it,
And I miss it,
- The money, the lies?
The bullying of people and employees at large?
- I don't do that,
I'm different and treatment's subjective,
I mean, there's laws for that,
and I obey all the laws,
- What would your employees have to say about that?
- Well, I've found there's two ways you can treat employees,
You can underpay the bad ones and keep churning them,
Or you can overpay the good ones and keep them,
- And which one are you?
- If you worked for me,
you'd see my appreciation in your paycheck,
not just some crappy gift card at something like Christmas,
- What do you miss the most about working at the studio?
- The feeling,
- Of power?
- Of gratitude for life and everything that I have,
- Tilt your head down,
- Tilt my head down? - Yeah,
- Just hold tight, I am--
- What are you doing?
- Well, I'm pretty sure that aliens have kidnapped
the real Roger Namroc
and replaced him with an exact replica,
I am looking for the scar where the memory chip,
- Oh, so you do have a sense of humor?
- I do,
All right, so,
Okay, so you're running your company from jail,
"Encounters" is going into its second season
when most people can't even break into commercials,
- That's what I like the most,
- Making commercials?
- No, the creativity of accomplishing something,
- Even if it's low-quality schlock?
- Confucius says, "There's no greater joy
"than putting into practice what you've learned,"
- You're quoting philosophy?
- Does that surprise you?
- No, no, it's perfectly normal
to be having an existential conversation
with a cursed man who is self-imprisoned,
- Look, I've learned a lot about television
and film production over the years,
It gives me great joy to put that knowledge into practice,
- Okay, that's why you must sing about it?
- Well, I'd have to do my hair and makeup first,
- Oh, right, of course,
What was I thinking?
- We've gotta finish our chess game,
- Yes, we have to finish the chess game,
So how did you first get into film?
- I went to college to--
- Stanford,
- And then I dropped out and went into the Army,
- And when you got out?
- I went back to college and got my degree,
- Mechanical engineering,
- Yeah, I hated it,
It was boring,
- And that's when you decided to get into production,
- Well, my brother was making a film,
a really bad one, like "Threat Level Midnight" bad,
But he was having more fun in life than I was,
so I joined him,
- So, we have your brother to thank
for all the crap you create,
- Are you actually winning?
- You might wanna get used to that,
Do people actually visit you here?
- Yeah, I've got a few old friends,
Buddies that come by every once in a while,
They came by New Year's Eve to cheer me up,
They brought a bunch of booze and bottle rockets
and before you knew it,
we were launching the rockets out of our zippers,
- Grown men do this?
- Yeah, it's how we got the hole in the window,
And some burnt genitals, fireworks,
- I thought you said it was a bullet hole?
- I exaggerated the already existing reality
to make it a more cinematic experience,
- That was a lie?
- And most people call that entertainment
when they see it on TV,
That's how it works,
- I can't believe that was the lie,
- I was only doing it to illustrate my point,
A bullet hole is much more impactful
than some idiots blowing off fireworks,
- Do I have to admit you're right now?
- And, now you understand how I make my show,
from a creative standpoint,
- Fine, you were right,
It definitely makes for more riveting television,
- Thank you,
- Checkmate,
- Wait,
- While you were busy being creative,
I was busy being smarter,
- I was distracted,
I want a rematch,
- And people in hell want ice water,
- Come on, best two outta three,
- What do I get out of it?
- I'll tell you about the curse?
- When?
- Right after we watch the alien probe episode,
- I've already seen it!
- Okay, if you've seen it, what are the black dots?
- What black dots?
- If you'd seen it, you'd know what the black dots are,
- I zipped through it,
- So who's the liar now?
- Fine, we watch your episode
and then you tell me about this curse,
- You know, it's not every day that you get
a phone call about an alien abduction,
But, recently, I did,
It was through an ad like this
that I got a call from Linda Love,
She's an exotic dancer at a strip club
who says she was abducted and probed by aliens,
- Oh!
Right, this is excellent primetime television right here,
- We closed, it was about 2:00 a,m,,
and I kinda snuck out the back door without a bouncer,
which is against normal policy,
but I just wanted to get home,
So I was headed to my car and that's when it happened,
- When what happened?
- This really bright light swooped outta nowhere
and before I knew it, I don't really know what happened,
I blacked out and I woke up the next morning,
and I was in my car,
And I was all sticky and I couldn't remember anything,
I noticed that my bra and panties were missing,
That's when I noticed the black spots,
- The black spots?
Can you show them to me?
Do you still have them? - Oh, this is--
- This is the black spots, - Oh, God,
- If you had watched the episode,
you liar, you would know,
Have you seen a doctor?
- No,
- If I found someone to examine them for you?
- I don't know about that,
- Don't you wanna know
what happened to you? - I'll take you to her doctor,
- Extreme close-ups, - I guess so,
- Okay, I'll line someone up
and we'll get them looked at,
- Okay,
- When we come back,
we'll find out what the doctor discovered,
- They're definitely some sort of foreign material,
Perhaps a plastic,
They're definitely not natural,
- That's the best actress you could find to play a stripper?
- She was a real stripper,
Okay, so far, we have met Linda Love,
She's an exotic dancer
who claims she was attacked by aliens,
One thing is for sure though,
she has some strange, even mysterious, dots on her body,
- Okay, Linda, let's have a look at those spots,
- Creepy Dr, Steven,
- Oh, shiny, shiny dots,
- And there's others?
- Yes, four total from what I could find,
- And where else?
- Can you see anything?
Any idea what it is?
- Yeah, these are definitely some sort of foreign material,
Perhaps a plastic,
They're definitely not natural,
- Oh!
- That had to hurt, - Yeah,
- It's just glitter from a rough night,
- What do you think these dots are?
- Well, it's hard to say,
I think we need more magnification,
I'm gonna send 'em to the lab - Mamification?
- Mamification,
When we return, we'll go to the lab to find out more
about those little black spots removed from Linda's body,
- So about that examination,
- I'll answer all your questions at the end,
Deal?
Welcome back to "Encounters,"
You saw, just like I did, the doctor removed
these tiny microdots off the body of Linda Love,
but what are they and where'd they come from?
Hopefully, we're about to find out,
No, we don't,
- They're all the same picture,
except for some writing and numbering,
- Writing or numbering, what are they?
- They're not biological,
and that's outta my realm of studies,
But I'd say they're microfilm or possibly microdots,
You wanna take a look? - Yeah,
- Wow!
This story of Linda Love's alien encounter
is just beginning,
What you see next may shock some of you,
- Wait, that was on the black dots?
- You're about to find out,
As you've seen, Linda Love, the exotic dancer,
claims that she left the strip club one night
only to wake up the next morning
covered in tiny microfilm dots,
- This is a very sordid shot,
right now, - But what do the dots mean?
She doesn't remember a thing, - You walking and talking,
- But could the dots be a clue - Is that what it is?
- [Roger] to what happened to her that night?
Let's find out,
- Yeah,
- Wow, Carl, what a great looking girl!
- Really, great, - I know that,
- Tell me what I don't know,
- Well, Hendra and I both agree
that the characters on these pictures
are some kinda numbers,
- His name's Hendra, - They could be something
like octal - Hendra?
- or base eight, - Hendra, the other guy,
- Especially, since they only have eight phalanges,
- You mean fingers and toes?
- Yeah, Hendra thinks these could be
some kind of coordinates on a map,
I think they all left a little mark behind
saying that that part of her body had been inspected,
You know, kinda like when you buy clothes
and it says, "Inspected by Number 13,"
- Basically, they branded her? - Or it could be
an elaborate hoax, - They're branded her,
- You're branding her, right, - Sorry, Carl,
We just can't be sure, - Right, right, like you do,
- I think we should examine the girl,
- Oh, wow!
- Well, that was interesting, but not conclusive,
- He's a professional, - So I decided I'd go back
- [Roger] to the club and nose around,
and see if I could talk to some of Linda's friends,
Excuse me, do you know Linda Love?
- Yeah, I know her,
- This is what she strips in? - How long have you known her?
- I wouldn't say long time, but I know her,
- Do you know anything about this alien abduction?
- Let's not talk about that right here,
- Okay, so we'll talk in the ladies room then,
- So what do you wanna know?
- Did you see anything that night?
- No, none of us did,
Typical, you know?
- What do you mean typical?
- That money in her boob - Well, Linda tells
is very unhygienic, - a lot of stories,
- I didn't even notice that, - Like she's going to
- Don't think I noticed - Dallas to be a cheerleader,
- it that day, - Or her aunt died
- And left diamonds but the diamonds never show,
You know what I mean?
- All right, what else can you tell me about her?
- Look baby, I work here
and I'm up next so I need to change,
- Okay,
- All part of the investigation,
- Right, right,
- Have you talked to her boyfriend?
- No, do you know his name? - I liked the other
- outfit better, - Yes, it's Johnny something,
- I don't know,
- How did she get - Do you know how to
- this off easy? - Get a hold of him?
- Yeah, he's a photographer, - She's a quick change artist,
- a bartender, and a sleaze, - Oh, she's a pro, so,
- He has a studio on First Street,
Behind that Irish pub,
- Johnny,
I know where that is,
All right, thank you very much,
Hello,
- Hey, hey, who's out there?
- You Johnny?
- You can't bring a camera in here,
- You Johnny?
- Might be,
- You know Linda Love?
- Are you the guy she's been talking to
about that alien thing?
- Might be,
- Cool,
What do you wanna know?
- What did you see that night?
- I was not there, I was working at the bar that night,
There was plenty of people who could tell you where I was,
- So how'd you find out about it?
- When she got home,
she called me, - Johnny rocks,
- He does rock, - Told me all about it,
- He's wearing that rock 'n' roll shirt,
- Oh, and the pants,
- And that vest, - Did you believe her story?
- Sure, of course I did,
- You know why?
- Why?
- 'Cause now when I bang her my junk glows,
You know what I'm saying?
- No, no, no, no, - God, no,
- No, that's okay,
- Ah, I'm just messing with you man,
- So, safe to assume
you don't know anything?
- I know, I know,
maybe you'll even figure it out,
- Linda, you asked me to investigate
what happened to you, and I've done that,
I have to honestly tell you my belief
is that you were abducted by aliens,
- Alien shell spot?
- The evidence is - Yeah,
- Scientifically inconclusive,
But what I can tell you - That's where our
and show you is what those - romance began,
- Black dots are,
Those are tiny photographs of you,
Look at the look on her face,
Linda Love felt like - Oh no!
- She'd been touched by aliens,
But was she?
Perhaps she's just a gullible girl
with a clever photographer boyfriend,
Or maybe, she's the victim of a prank,
or a date rape drug, - Oh,
- Think about that for the next few minutes
and I'll be back with a preview
of our next encounter
as I continue - It was a preview,
- [Roger] to explore the real,
the unreal, and beyond,
I mean, if you were an alien,
wouldn't you wanna probe her?
- Ugh, gross,
- Hold on, one second, got a call,
Namroc,
Yeah,
Slow down, slow down,
Yeah,
Whoa,
So she married bigfoot, says they made bigfoot babies
and now they got a bigfoot band?
Like a furry Partridge Family?
No,
Let's see if we can get 'em on for next season,
- Very bored, - Okay,
- All right,
Sorry,
Sorry about that,
- Yeah, bigfoot, please, yeah,
- This is my life,
Another game?
- Okay,
So what did the stripper have to do with that curse?
- I was actually dating her,
- The stripper or the alien?
- Funny,
- The stripper gave you the curse?
- Close,
It was actually about a year later,
it was her mom,
She's the gypsy lady who
came to me with that lame idea for a show
and I rejected her and then I turned around
used her daughter, put her on TV,
- Oh,
- So, what we didn't realize at the time was
the stripper, my girlfriend, was just in it for the money,
- Stripper just in it for the money, shocking,
- Yeah, funny,
It made me realize,
I was blaming all my problems
on wives one, two, and three,
- But a stripper?
- Right, so came to the same conclusion
that I was going through the same
relationship problems over and over again,
so maybe it was me causing the problems,
- And what did you do?
- I actually started a journal,
- You must have a lot of feelings,
- Business, marriage,
all of that kind of thing,
I put it all in there,
- You gonna publish your book?
- I was thinking about it,
but right now it's just sort of a tool,
- For what?
- Just reflection, analyzation,
looking at my life,
You know, when I get all the way through it
I'll go back to the beginning,
look at it and try and analyze
what I've done wrong in my life,
- You should analyze your life right here,
- You think you're gonna win this one, huh?
- I know I'm gonna win this time,
And when I do, I will take my place
as rightful ruler of earth,
- Oh,
Well I suppose I will have to
counter with a combination of dazzling moves
to save the planet earth,
- That screws up my plans,
Did you figure anything out?
- About what?
- Your life, the book,
- I tend to trust people too easily,
And then when they betray me,
it catches me off guard,
- You never see it coming,
- So how about you?
Why'd you go to college?
- I got a scholarship to MIT for computer sciences,
but I discovered that I really hated coding, so,
I auditioned for "Tish" at NYU
and got a degree in theater,
And then I got a masters in film,
- Wow, degrees, like multiple,
- Yeah, - Impressive,
- I really fell in love with acting
so I moved to LA to give it a shot,
But I was drowning in debt from all those degrees,
- Is that when I screwed it up for you?
- It wasn't you,
I should've tried harder,
- That's when you became a reporter,
- Yeah,
With a small weekly paper,
- Look at you now, you're the entertainment
reporter to be reckoned with,
- I am drunk with power,
- Did you ever wanna get back in front of the camera?
- I think about it,
- Do you want your own show?
- Just like that?
- Anything's possible,
- I don't wanna do a show on aliens,
- No,
We can do something you like,
What's the best interview you ever did?
- Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick,
Beautiful couple,
Good people,
- We do a show about the good people in Hollywood,
- There are already enough shows about celebrities,
- Yeah, but they're all like puff pieces
that come straight from the studio or paparazzi,
you know, magazine shows and things like that,
This will be something different,
- We could do a show that focuses on
celebrities for the good things they do,
- There's an idea,
- I'll think about it,
- That's perfect,
Let me borrow your pen,
- What are you doing?
- I'm gonna write something down,
- What are you writing?
- Think about it,
It's perfect, if I do decide to make this into a book,
- Let me see the book,
"99 Things To Do In Jail,"
- Things to keep busy with,
I had a friend ask me
what I do here to keep from going crazy,
so I made a list,
- I like it, it's catchy,
- Thanks,
- "Number one, learn to access daily
"whether my actions align with my values and goals?"
- Sounds a little silly when you say it out loud,
- It's all a little silly,
- I'm living in a jail,
- "Reclaim my dignity and self-esteem,
"Learn to love living without
"an iPhone, text, or email,"
- Actually difficult,
- It's very hard,
"Become obsessed with Ayn Rand,"
- Those are actually things that are pretty hard to do,
- And very thoughtful,
- Does that surprise you?
- Yeah,
"Make friends with Big Mofo,"
- Oh, number 77,
- What kind of friends?
- Oh, not like that,
Big Mofo likes to watch television,
One of the reasons why I got the big screen TV,
We all like to watch television,
Well, one day, this new guy in here,
We call him a fish in jail,
he changed the channel on Big Mofo,
Big Mofo did not like that,
- If this story ends in prison sex, you can stop,
- No, he put ex-lax in this guys milk
and the guy drank every drop of it,
- Oh this did not go well,
- No, it lasted for hours and hours on the toilet,
We can see and hear every minute of it,
- Ew, - It's one of the reasons
- I went down and asked the Sheriff
if I can get a room divider,
And then of course, the whole thing
did end with a prison rape scene out in the yard,
- Stop that!
- I'm just kidding,
I'm gonna stop lying for dramatic effect,
I promise, last time,
- Have ice cream for breakfast,
- Yeah, it's pretty good,
You ever try it?
- I'm more of a coffee person,
- Really?
- Yeah,
- I'll tell you what,
if you do me a favor,
put this last little bit of glue inside that,
I'm gonna go down to the guard station
and get you a cup of coffee,
- Okay,
This is so weird,
Me being nice?
- So how do you like the digs?
- Cozy, - Coffee,
- Thank you,
So, how would this show work?
- Well we'd start with the concept that we have,
- Entertainment reporting with a positive spin,
- Right, now apply your area of expertise,
- Profiling actors,
- Now, make a list of people you wanna interview,
- How many episodes?
- Usually 13,
- Profiling 13 actors and how they use their success
to launch charitable foundations,
- Would you watch that show?
- Damn Skippy I would,
- And with your acting training,
you'd be better on camera than most novice journalists,
- Mm-hm,
- No, I'm serious,
Your personality shines,
Like a diamond,
- You've used that in a club before,
- Yeah, you think,
No, you're one of the most beautiful,
articulate women I can think of,
- Okay, what next?
- Next would be shooting it,
Would we shoot on location at their homes?
Would we bring them to the studio?
- Are those my only two options?
- We can do it in the cheap
and interview them via Skype or something,
and then get some video of them
doing the celebrity thing
and then cut it in with your stand ups,
- Or, we go to the charity headquarters
so we can interview some of the other faces involved,
- Good idea,
- How much would a show like that cost?
- Well, I'm guessing maybe 25, 50 grand an episode,
- Times 13 is--
- Well, you don't have to do the math,
First you do the pilot
and then we'd go for funding
for the rest of the money,
- Okay,
- So is that something you'd like to do?
- Maybe,
Then what?
- Then it would be a matter of pitching,
- It's all about that dazzle,
- I know a guy who runs a network
that I think would love a show like this,
- Name please?
- Charlie Humbard,
It's UP TV Network,
They only run positive series,
- How does a guy like Charlie know you?
- Well I can see your confusion
but I've known him for a long time actually,
That's a whole other story then,
- Okay,
- So, if we make the pilot and he likes it--
- We're in!
- We have a deal,
- 50/50?
- Sure,
- Put it in writing?
- I wouldn't have it any other way,
- Are we actually getting along?
- No,
- We're not?
- Not until you see what I really like to do,
- I suddenly feel cold,
Is this what death feels like?
- So, what kind of music do you like?
- The three B's,
- Is that a band?
- Beethoven, Bach, Brahms,
You?
- I'm more of a Van Halen guy,
- Is that a band?
- You don't know who Van Halen is?
- Should I?
- Oh no, I'm screwed!
- It's not that big of a deal,
- It ruins my whole conversation about
David Lee Roth versus Sammy Hagar
and what a cool guy I am for knowing that,
- It's not that big of a deal,
- I'm pretty sure it is,
- Ooh, they have a Wicki page!
- What's it say?
- "American rock band formed in 1972,"
- They were huge!
- In the 70's and 80's,
- They had millions and millions of hits!
They changed lead singers and kept the hits rolling!
- David Lee Roth, Sammy Hagar,
Gary Cherone,
- Gary's the secret lead singer,
We don't talk about him,
- Why is he a secret?
- Hair was too short,
- What are you doing back there?
- Just wait, have a seat,
Get ready for the show,
- Okay,
- Are you ready?
- No,
- I'm gonna bring David Lee Roth back to life!
- Is he dead?
- No, he just hung up his assless chaps,
- And you're gonna sing?
- And jump around like there's
First, a swig of Jack,
Just to loosen up the vocals,
- Whiskey?
What else do you have in here?
- Oh, I got a lot in here,
You're about to see,
Brevard County Jail, are you ready to rock!
- I already said I was ready already,
- Are you ready to rock!
- I'm ready!
- What's that?
- This is how deaf people cheer,
- You're not deaf,
- Yeah, but the last concert I went to
was a benefit for the deaf and hearing impaired,
It's cool, right?
- Yeah, it's pretty cool,
All right, let's make this show happen!
All right!
Brevard County Jail!
Are you ready! - Yeah!
- It goes like this!
- Wow,
- Roger, I'm conflicted,
- And this is the part where you're
supposed to be having fun,
- Roger, you sing about being a gigolo
and because of that you ain't got nobody,
but isn't that your own fault?
- You're reading way too much into this,
- And you're telling me that life goes on without you?
- Well, yeah, I'd like that to be different,
but still, this is just rock 'n' roll we're doing here,
- And you want some sweet mama to take a chance on you?
- Well, sure,
- Well you'd have to work very hard
to convince somebody of that,
- I see,
It's cool, you just don't dig rock 'n' roll music,
- But you're so good at it I don't know what to think,
- Please, back up to that part
where you say I'm good at it,
- It's just that,
the music is very loud and crude
and I don't want to like it, but I sorta do,
- You know, wait right there,
- What are you doing?
- Hang on,
Come on, get up,
- Why?
- Come on, you're gonna sing with me,
- Oh, oh, oh, I don't know how to sing,
- Come on,
Get up!
Come over here,
Stand right here,
Come on, it's just rock 'n' roll,
Okay, here,
Can you sing in this key?
- I can't hear your key,
- Oh come on,
Here, take a drink of this,
No, come on,
It'll loosen up your vocal cords,
Give you that sexy sound that is rock 'n' roll,
- You're just trying to get me drunk!
- You're just afraid if you drink some of this
you might change your mind about me,
- Challenge accepted!
- There ya go, that's the way it is,
Yeah, now you're ready,
Oh, now she's a hot mama!
All right!
Woo, here we go!
Are you ready to do it?
- No,
- I'll start,
- Yeah!
- Am I doing it?
- Yes, it's perfect!
- Is this right?
- This is perfect!
- That was awesome!
- You were awesome!
- Thank you, - Oh my God, that was great,
- So do you ever perform as this David Lee guy?
- Oh, actually, I used to do it all the time,
Let me show you,
Come here, come here, - Okay,
- Sit, sit,
These are pictures, sit,
These are pictures of back in the day
when the band was still together,
It was so fun,
Why don't you do this anymore?
- The curse,
- Are you ever gonna tell me what this curse does?
- Not yet,
- Fine,
Well, what's the first thing
you're gonna do when you break it?
- I guess, put my top down,
head out on State Road 520
and drive off into the sunset,
- Is it pretty?
- Not particularly,
- Then why?
- It's the freedom,
- To drive and drive?
- And drive,
- What kind of car ya got?
- I've got a bunch actually,
About 10,
- What? - Some of 'em are in there,
- Keep looking, they should be at the bottom,
Oh I love that one,
That's a '71 Charger Super Bee with a 446 pack,
- Fast?
- Fast enough that I got to meet the Sheriff,
- He pulled you over for speeding?
- He did, and then he just gave me a warning
because he loved the car so much,
- Well you do have a way of making friends,
- Thank you, I think I do,
But I can't wait to head out on 520,
I used to take my '66 Vette Convertible out there,
But I just got a brand new R8 Spyder
from a lady in Minnesota,
There should be a picture of that,
it's a white convertible,
Yeah, that's it,
- Excellent,
- That's it,
- That's what?
- Excellent,
It's a perfect slogan for your show,
- I'm Tara Aluran with Excellent celebrity stories,
- Sounds great,
- I like it!
Okay, now back to this 520 road trip,
- Okay,
- The top is down on the convertible,
the Van Halen's are on the radio--
- Let's sing along,
- Do not interrupt me,
- Go ahead,
- Sunblock on, sunglasses on--
- Seat belts on,
Remember, I drive fast,
- Then what?
- Then
it turns to dusk,
The sun is a burnt orange,
- Can we add a wisp of magenta?
- Yes,
And then the 520 werewolf appears,
- The what?
- And you suddenly realize that
everything I've been telling you is true,
- Your curse is related to a werewolf?
- I told ya you weren't gonna believe me,
- You have to tell me everything,
- Only after you see the episode,
Come on,
- Okay,
- Hello again, my name is Carl Smith,
I'm a television reporter,
and sometimes I find stories
that my newsroom just won't cover,
They're too bizarre, too far out there,
But I like these kinds of stories,
in fact, I seek them out
with ads like this one in newspapers and online,
One of these ads is how I found out
about the bloody 520 werewolves,
You can imagine that I get a lot of
phone calls about these ads
and it's up to me to determine
whether the stories are real or unreal,
I have to investigate them all,
This is about one such investigation,
The bloody 520 werewolves,
520 being State Road 520
that runs west through Florida,
The road takes you from the east Atlantic Coast
all the way to the west side of Orlando,
Recently, 520 has been expanded to four lanes,
But it wasn't always that way,
It used to be a small two-lane highway
traveling through pitch blackness
with swamps on each side of it,
It was easy if you fell off the side of the road
to lose your car in the swamp
never to be found again,
The local newspaper dubbed it bloody 520,
So was it just the nature of this road
that causes so many accidents?
Or is it something else?
There are plenty of locals who think
these accidents are being caused by something mysterious,
Earl Ray Jones is one such person,
Earl took me out
to the exact location
of his ghastly encounter
with the bloody 520 werewolf,
Exceedingly insistent that we only go
visit in the bright light of day,
A somewhat frazzled and distraught
Earl Ray Jones struggled
as he came to grips with coming
back to the very spot of the most
horrific experience in his entire life,
He went on to explain again in great detail
the sequence of events in what he believed
unfolded before him and his special
lady-friend that haunting evening,
He proceeded to point out and show me
miles and miles of chain link fence
that he's convinced has been erected by the government,
All steps to keep people safe
in this ongoing battle of man versus myth,
- He's got an appetite,
As long as he don't eat me,
I tell ya man,
it's a bloodbath in there,
I feel for them little guys,
Them little critters,
- Awe, he's got a heart,
- Did you hear that?
- How could I confirm such a story?
Well when we come back, - Oh my God,
- You'll hear from another person
who says he encountered one of these
bloody 520 werewolves,
- You are truly the king of schlock,
I can't believe people watch this stuff,
- I thought I might give this incident one more shot,
So I placed a specific ad this time
asking people to come forward
if they thought that they'd seen a werewolf
or anything else strange along 520,
- They say this area is haunted by werewolves,
They stalk their prey when the moon is full,
They love the swamp along 520,
In the middle of the night,
the startle the drivers to death,
Or if they didn't die, they wished they did,
Then, once they wreck,
they tear the drivers out from their car,
eat their flesh,
they need the blood to feed and breed,
- As you just heard, Joshua paints a pretty
gruesome picture of these werewolves,
But when we come back,
he'll show us what he believes are actual photos
of the bloody 520 werewolves,
Pay close attention to this part,
It's really important,
- I can't wait,
- Joshua, what is it that makes you think
the werewolves are responsible for all these accidents?
- My friends and I have seen them,
- So you've seen a werewolf?
- Yes, as I told you on the phone,
One popped out the other night,
- Wait, tell me about that,
- Well, I was working at Grandpa's
and finishing up like I always do,
I finished the dishes and I started to take out the trash,
When I was at the dumpster, I heard a noise,
It was the clock going off,
it was 12 o'clock,
12 chimes,
And at the last chime our dogs started howling,
and then it appeared,
It was big and hairy and it stank,
I was frozen with fear,
but I knew I had to do something,
- When we return, we'll find out exactly
what Joshua did next during his encounter
with this bloody 520 werewolf,
- Why is this so important to you?
- Just keep watching, you'll see,
Joshua's story is much more detailed
than what Earl told us about the
bloody 520 werewolves,
Joshua has just come face to face
with one of these creatures, - I got a hair in my eye,
- You do, - So Joshua, what did you do?
- I couldn't do anything, I was paralyzed,
But fortunately, he didn't see me
and he ran the other way,
So I managed to take a picture,
- You took a picture? - Why does he wear glasses?
- Yeah, as he was running away
I started think, "No one's gonna believe this,"
- It's pretty blurry,
Tell me what we're seeing here,
How big is it?
- Well he was smaller than I first thought,
I don't know, maybe he was a young one,
but I was glad he ran away,
- And what did you do next?
- Well, I waited a few minutes
and lit up a cigarette
and I went over to the outhouse and took a look,
- And what did you see inside Joshua?
- Feathers,
Feathers and blood,
I think he ate a chicken,
- And you say your friends have
seen these werewolves too?
- All I can say,
everybody should just stay out
of the woods at 520,
- After leaving Joshua and Grandpa's,
I decided to check-in
with law enforcement - This is the Sheriff,
- to see what insight - Oh,
- they could provide, - I thought it looked
- I set up an interview - familiar,
- [Roger] with the Sheriff of Brevard County,
So Sheriff, my understanding is
your office is responsible for patrolling
520 on the west side of Cocoa, is that correct?
- That's correct,
We have jurisdiction of the roadway,
However, when it comes to traffic accidents,
Florida Highway Patrol shares that
jurisdiction as well,
And they're often called to work the accident,
- He's great, - So years back
- it was not a divided - He's the real Sheriff,
- four lane highway, - He's great!
- It was only two lanes
and it earned the nickname I suppose, bloody 520,
Why is that?
- We started hearing that name
probably about the mid-70's
and I grew up in Cocoa Beach
and I remember when that name was being
thrown about quite a bit,
And we associate it with the fact
that it was a dangerous roadway,
because it was a two-lane roadway
with high speed limits on it
and people frequently sped on it,
And they would cross the lanes,
There was no real protective barriers
that divided the highways,
and so there were a lot of oncoming
direct crashes from one car to the other,
- Were there any reports ever
of any attacks by animals?
- No, I've never heard that,
- Can I assume you've never heard
any reports of werewolves being involved
out there on 520?
- No, I've never heard of that, no,
- I did get one more email about that ad
that I placed about werewolves on State Road 520,
It was from a woman who wanted
to meet me at this store,
Hello, I'm Carl from "Encounters,"
you emailed me about the werewolf ad,
- What is this for?
- I'm looking for folks who know
something about werewolves on State Road 520,
- The politically correct term is Lupine Americans,
and you need to leave them alone,
Just leave the werewolves alone,
They're not doing anything to you,
You rarely see them,
They don't eat many,
Leave 'em alone,
Just leave 'em alone! - So I assume you've
- [Roger] seen werewolves or have some knowledge?
- That's none of your business
and you really need to just
leave the werewolves alone,
Get out of here!
- Earl and Joshua both insist that
they saw a werewolf, but did they?
That picture was pretty blurry,
It's clear though,
something was in that outhouse that night,
As for the smell, maybe the outhouse
just got shaken up a little bit,
Or maybe, just maybe I had dinner
at Grandpa's Steakhouse
and thought it would make a good story for "Encounters,"
Think about that for a minute
and I'll be back with a preview of my next encounter
as I investigate the real, the unreal, and beyond,
By the way,
checkmate,
- How dare you,
- That just happened,
And now, we have to play
a third game for the championship of earth,
Take your seat, - Fine,
- I still don't understand
what this alleged werewolf has to do with your curse,
- Well, I was looking for physical evidence,
but what if physical evidence doesn't exist?
- You're talking in circles,
- What if
becoming a werewolf comes from something else?
- Like from eating bad fish or something?
- Like from a curse,
- Well, that would be hard
because curses aren't real,
- Let me show you something,
Care to change your mind? - Oh no,
- How long have you had that?
- It happens with each cycle of the moon every month,
It gets further and further up my leg,
I'm getting it on my back
and my fingernails are growing,
I bite them off,
- You think you're a werewolf?
- I get cramps, my joints ache,
my body is stretching out,
- Awe, that's called having a period,
- The gypsy lady put a curse on me,
And I found out recently,
that I think she put a curse
on the guy in the show too,
- Who told you this?
Your condition is called hypertrichosis,
- Does that come with the cycle of the moon?
- It's genetic,
- Look, this has been going on for almost a year,
I've tried to go to doctors,
even magicians, other gypsies,
- Have you tried a shrink?
- Look, I think I only have
about an hour to free myself from this curse,
- Or what?
- Or it becomes permanent and irreversible,
- But not if the person who likes you the least
changes their mind about you, right?
- Right,
- Fine, I like you,
Curse be gone!
- But I have to atone for my sins,
- Since when?
- Since she told me to,
I was hoping you might have some ideas,
- Like drink blood from the eyes
of a priest or something?
- No,
That's gross,
- Pins and dolls made of the skins of your enemies?
- I can tell you're not taking this seriously,
- Oh, I'm very serious,
- Hold on, let me show you something,
This is the wooden box I was telling you about,
It's got the tarot cards right here,
And all I can figure from the tarot cards
is that
I've created some kind of imbalance,
- In the universe?
- Okay, follow me here,
This is the five of cups,
This is the magician,
This is death,
But they all seem to fall in line behind this card,
- Justice!
- How'd you know that,
- You wrote justice write there,
- Oh yeah,
Anyway, so this is the daughter
of the Lord of truth,
- And you think me liking you
restores some kind of balance?
- Do you have a better idea?
- Let me see this box,
Hm,
Oh,
What are these etchings?
- I have no clue,
I thought they were just decorations on the box,
- Hand me the pen out of my pocket,
Okay,
It looks like this is some sort of a cipher wheel,
- What is that?
- Well cipher wheels are usually an alphanumeric system
where each letter of the alphabet
corresponds to a number,
But this one is tricker 'cause it looks
like it uses non-alphanumeric tokens,
- What?
- Each of these etchings corresponds to a different letter,
But there don't seem to be any single letter words,
so I just have to figure it out,
The most common letter in the alphabet is E,
followed by T and A,
- You're actually making my head hurt,
- Okay, so,
This looks like it could be the E,
And this one might be a K,
- What's it spell?
- Hold on, I'm working on it,
I haven't done coding in years,
- Well hurry up if you could,
- It's got an S,
Got it!
Kiss feet!
- Kiss feet?
- That's what it says,
- Kiss feet of what?
- The gypsy lady,
- Her daughter,
- I'm gonna say me,
- You have some kind of foot fetish?
- I'm the one whose mind you need to change,
- Why can't it be you kissing my hairy feet?
- It says here, and I'm paraphrasing,
"You must kiss the feet of the
"woman who chooses you,"
- So now you're choosing me?
- You must humble yourself and apologize,
- Oh god,
Here, take one,
- Okay,
I've had enough weirdness today my brain hurts,
Could use a liquid painkiller,
I have to warn you though,
I am a very easily drunk person,
- Thirsty much?
- Are you gonna drive me home when I'm wasted?
- If you get rid of this curse,
- You got a backup plan?
- You could always stay in here,
Plenty of cells,
You could tell all your friends that you got drunk
and you spent the night in jail,
- Excellent,
- There's that word again,
- Oh,
- Oh, all gone,
- I feel a buzz coming,
Aren't we near the space center!
Count me down in five,
four, three,
two, ,
I am a drunk werewolf,
- I'm the one that needs to be counting down here,
- Oh relax,
- I have less than an hour,
- You should just
take your mind off things and ,
I know, you should interview me,
- Wait,
So, where'd you grow up?
- Ugh, boring,
- I'm trying,
- Fine,
I was born in New York
and I spent my whole life in L,A,
but really I grew up at summer camp,
- Summer camp?
- Yeah, everything I learned in life
I learned at summer camp,
- And everything in life is what?
- No matter how delicious it tastes,
don't eat 37 ice cream push up pops in a row,
- You did that?
- And then I got diarrhea,
- Oh gross,
- It went in my shoes,
- Okay, we can stop there,
- And on my pillowcase,
- How does that even happen?
- And then I shot a gun,
- That must've--
- And then I cried,
- Did you kill something?
- I was alone, - Oh God,
- So alone, - I think you need
- [Roger] to lay down,
- Don't ever, ever
live in out of capacity of your life,
And never ever ever ever
rely on anyone but yourself,
- I'll keep that in mind,
- Yeah,
So where'd you grow up?
- Santa Monica, California,
And then in about 2001
I moved here to Florida
to make that movie with my brother,
You know, I actually still have
a house outside this jail,
It's in a place called Isleworth,
it's over by Orlando,
I live on a lake,
Actually, it's called the Butler Chain of Lakes,
Did you know that
they don't have income tax here in Florida,
- Okay, okay!
So serious,
Are you gonna kiss my feet?
- Metaphorically,
I think all men kiss the feet of women,
- I mean with your lips,
- I'm still trying to come up with another option,
- It wouldn't kill you you know?
- Says a drunk woman who wants her feet kissed,
- I'm your last chance buddy!
- I think there might be one other thing,
- You mean like a sex doll?
- Oh, I don't even know what you're talking about,
No, I'm talking about
I was thinking about the cycles of the moon,
And how it causes gravitational
affects here on earth,
- Have you seen a sex robot?
- And how I think that
all of the things that are happening to me
could be affected by the cycle of the moon,
- Would you stick your toilet parts in a machine?
- That's why I wanted to talk to an astronaut,
- I would,
- I thought that he would know
about those - Answer my question!
- Facts,
- I'm gonna take that as a yes,
- Listen, just,,,
I think there's a scientific explanation for all of this,
Just watch one more episode with me,
- Please?
Then I'll kiss your feet,
- Fine!
But I'm feeling a little woozy
from all of that boozy,
and I hope that that episode doesn't make me vomit,
- You'll be all right,
Come here, sit down,
Come on,
- No, - Come on,
- The booze is all gone anyway,
You'll be fine after,
- Okay, - Come over here,
- Okay,
Okay,
- Sit down, - Okay,
- Careful, careful, careful,
All right, all right,
Relax,
It was through an ad like this
that I got a call from Buzz Sheppard,
He claims to be a former test pilot
who saw aliens, real aliens more than 50 years ago,
- In the late 1940's I was flying jets
on and off carriers for the US Navy,
Yeah, I flew the first XFDA-1 Phantom
right off the deck - That's fast,
- [Buzz] of the old Roosevelt Carrier,
In 1946,
They said that couldn't be done,
But I did it,
It was a great exciting time,
flying almost everyday,
Then I got the call,
- Pretty hard for him just doing it
right out of a hospital bed,
With that much - One of the Chief's
personality you know, - Came running in and said
- That commander Harold Stasson
was on the horn,
I didn't know who the heck Harold Stasson was,
Well, I took that call right away,
Stasson said he was working on a
secret government project,
- Shh, secrets - And my country needed me
- Because of my experience flying
jets off of carriers,
Plus,
plus, I was curious about
any secret project,
The next day I got a flight
on a real nifty plane,
A brand new RD-6,
Destination
the Banana River Naval Air Station,
- Banana,
- I never heard of the Banana River!
Anyway, it turned out it is now
on what is called Satellite Beach Florida,
It was a World War II bombing range for God sakes,
- Oh, it's shaped like a banana,
- That's why they call it that,
- The base was transferred to the Air Force
and became the joint range proving ground,
All secret and very hush hush,
How was I to know that one day
it'd become the Cape Canaveral launch center
that would eventually take us to the moon?
- There's the VAV,
Well he's got it for the nurse,
- I would too,
- She was cute,
- I was greeted by two very
intimidating congregations,
A bunch of German scientists
and a swarm of humongous mosquitoes,
- Mosquitoes? - I don't know
- [Buzz] which was worse,
I soon learned their plans for me,
I didn't know it yet,
but they were developing a rocket sled,
And that's why they wanted me,
You see, to get planes to fly off carriers,
we had to do all kinds of things,
The Germans really
loved this,
- Interesting story isn't it?
Buzz Sheppard has a lot more to tell us
and show us when we come back,
- You actually thought this guy
was an astronaut who could help you?
- Well I couldn't take any chances,
I had to talk to him,
Keep watching,
- Well, I didn't know it yet
but I wasn't going to fly,
In fact, after that day I never flew again,
You see, it takes a lot of energy
to get into flight,
You need mucho energy to counteract earth's gravity,
So their plan was to stay on the ground
and travel on a railroad track,
And they had this real slick rocket rail car,
I mean really slick,
So early in the morning of April the 23rd
I got strapped into the car
and was ready to launch,
The countdown was relatively short,
Less than two hours to complete
fueling and the readiness checks,
Then,
three, two, one, zero!
Varoom!
The first rocket engine liftoff
and the steam charged pistons
thrust the train down the track!
In a flash the other two engines caught on!
Oh, I mean instant acceleration!
Then, when I regained my senses
I realized there was no noise,
The cockpit was silent,
All sound was behind me,
Then pop!
This great white light came over me!
That's when I first saw the alien beings,
I saw them as clearly
as I see you right now,
You know, they're all around us,
You just don't see them,
- This is a good one, isn't it?
- I don't know what to think,
- That's what the audience is supposed to think too,
- You're watching "Encounters,"
we just heard Buzz Sheppard explain
how he was blasted to light speed in 1952,
When that happened, he says everything
slowed down into slow motion,
That's when he says he saw the aliens,
- Yeah, it seems like everything slowed down,
And right there where I was,
juxtaposed with all else
in vibrant reality,
I could see these aliens standing there next to me,
Then boom,
The shoots deployed
and the aliens were gone,
- Is there anyone that can verify this story?
- Hey, I told you, I never saw any of them again,
But, I do have some blueprints,
- Ah,
Where'd you get these plans? - My old pilot,
- I had heard rumors about a project like this,
- The government mole,
- I don't think that they ever built it,
This rocket sled, in its present form
would be pulling 150 G's!
That's 150 big ones!
You would be destroyed!
You would be crushed!
No human's gonna ever stand a force like that,
- Since the government wasn't saying anything,
I thought I'd bring the plans
to an aeronautical research team that I know of
to see if they thought there was anything to them,
- Carl, as you can see here,
what we've done is we've taken your plans
and scanned them into the computer,
Here's a computer to clean it up some,
and then we compared it to the rocket
technologies that existed in the 1950's,
And our analysis is that this is
consistent with the technologies
and rocket designs of the 1950s,
- Okay,
- And then if you come over here,
we had the computer make a rendering
from those plans of what we thought
the rocket train would've looked like,
- So that's it?
- That's it,
Quite a hot rod,
- Now Buzz insists that he saw aliens in another dimension,
But if that's true, why is there no record of it?
Buzz tells these fanciful stories
about test pilots that ejected at such
high altitudes that their hands, feet,
and legs blew up like balloons,
But again, why is there no record
of these test pilots every existing?
Could it be that this project
like the Navaho rocket right behind me
is a project that never really went anywhere?
The Navaho went on to be known
as the "Never Go,"
Think about that for a few minutes
and I'll be back to tell you
about our next encounter with the real,
unreal, and beyond,
- I have to say, you are growing on me more and more,
I mean the show, the show is growing on me,
- Well I was hoping you'd say that,
But,
my countdown clock is almost over,
- Do I sense some feet kissing in my near future?
- If I do it, it's on one condition,
- You are not in the position to barter,
- Up here, feet,
- You want my feet on the table?
- Yup,
- Mm-mm,
- You got a better idea?
- On your knees!
- Oh, come on,
Just put 'em up here,
- What's that I hear?
Is,
is that a clock ticking?
- What are you doing?
Oh, we are not recording it,
- We are so recording this, - No,
- Okay, okay,
We'll do it,
Here's the deal we make, - Okay,
- Give me the deal,
- We'll do it your way,
if you win the chess game,
We'll do it my way
if I win the chess game,
- And if you win,
I'll put my feet on the table,
- Deal?
- Fine,
- Okay,
Checkmate,
- You did that on purpose!
- That's the idea!
- You took the fun out of it!
- Oh come on,
- Mm-mm,
- Come on,
I guess I forgot
about the part that you might
enjoy me on my knees
kissing your feet,
- What's not to enjoy?
- All right, we'll do it your way,
- Really?
- Really,
- On your knees!
The other one,
- Are we done?
- You may rise,
- All right, the moment of truth,
- I'm ready,
- Oh no,
It didn't work,
I'm out!
I'm out of time,
I'm out of options,
I'm out of ideas,
And now you're gonna leave,
- Awe, why'd you say that?
- You wanna wolf man for a boss?
- You were never my boss,
We are 50/50!
- I did the kissing thing,
I did the spandex and wig thing,
I did the regret thing,
I did the apology thing,
- Did you mean it?
- Yeah,
- That's what I wanted to hear,
Give me all your money,
I mean your cash,
Give me all of your cash and a lighter,
- I don't,
I might have a couple of bucks in my bag and a lighter,
- Okay, - Hold on,
- Here, what are you doing?
- Oh, big tipper,
Now that is some flame,
- Wow, that must've been a really old box,
Oh, it feels so good,
- Check your leg!
- The hair's gone!
My back?
- It's gone!
- That's all we had to do?
Burn it away?
Why are you laughing?
- No reason,
- Did you know this was going to happen?
- I can neither confirm nor deny these allegations,
- No, you have to tell the truth!
- Or what?
- Or I won't like you anymore,
- Ouch,
- And it'll prevent us from
creating a TV show together,
- Awe,
- And we won't be able to create
a beautiful relationship with a nurturing environment
where feelings and mistakes are okay!
- Where do you come up with this stuff?
- Right here,
- Fine,
The cipher wheel on the box said to burn the box
and all of it's contents
to free yourself from the curse,
- So you lied about me kissing your feet,
- I just exaggerated the truth for dramatic purposes,
It's what we do in the entertainment world,
- So you're a lying pyromaniac with a foot fetish!
- Yes!
But you are free from the curse!
Could this day get any better?
- No!
- Sunglasses?
- Check,
Seat belt?
- Check,
Van Halen's?
- Even better, here's my band, 1984,
- Excellent,
- Let's drive!