Oops,
Hello?
Hi,
Mm,
How late can we go?
I don't know,
Do we have to go?
No,
Oh!
You're lying,
I am,
Monster bubbles!
I think he wants you,
♪ Now I am singing so beautifully ♪
Oh, Mommy's funny,
It's like she has a mustache right under her nose,
She does?
Yeah,
I think she has really big lips,
Hey!
Tom, just want to say congratulations,
Thank you,
Yeah, only 10 years of purgatory, right?
Oh, right,
My brother-in-law, Greg,
Hey,
Hi, nice to see you,
I think Jake's like twice the size
he was at Christmas,
Oh, yeah,
You know, we should really stop feeding him,
Come on, enjoy yourself,
Corinne, my daughter, Alex,
Hi, nice to meet you,
Um, sorry,,,
She worked with Paul Schuster from the
Public Defender's office, you remember Paul,
And it turns out before that,
she and your brother overlapped at Fordham,
but they never met,
Oh, how funny,
You must be so proud,
I heard he's the youngest partner in the firm's history?
Well, he's always been driven,
What can I say?
And you're an attorney as well?
Uh, no,
I mean, I was,
But I stopped practicing when I had my son,
Thank God for the women's movement,
She'll go back, trust me,
Oh, is this you?
Oh, Jesus,
What?
It's adorable!
Oh, she was so good,
Now, if she had stuck to it, can you imagine?
She's got the natural pose, the natural arch,
Look at that, slim legs, everything she needed,
Gave up,
What can you do?
Can't push, push, push,
Gotta let go, right?
Right?
She's humble,
Ha, where'd she get that?
Thank you,
And where are you guys applying?
Oh, boy,
What?
Well, we loved our local public school,
but it just got rezoned,
No!
It'll be fine,
The whole reason we moved and
now they won't let us send him,
I swear, if Pembrooke hadn't discovered
that Kimmy had perfect pitch halfway through her interview,
which, mind you, we didn't even know
I mean, just forget it,
Dizzy!
Oh!
Honk, honk!
Wait, come back!
But I must go,
Please don't go!
That's when you say, "I don't even know your name,"
But I do know your name,
That's not how it goes,
Well, maybe Mommy was improvising!
Maybe she was improvising!
My sister-in-law comes from serious money,
I swear, all she does is shop for the kid,
Meanwhile, I'm lucky if I can get Jake
out of his pajama bottoms half the time,
He likes to be comfortable,
Hell, I'd do the same thing if I could
get away with it,
You think the other parents would mind?
Their preschool director in a tracksuit?
You would look hot in a tracksuit,
You are such a liar,
But, you know, is that even what I want for Jake?
A private school full of Kimmys?
Even if we could afford it, which we can't,
Honey, honey,
We're just talking options right now,
casting a wide net,
Here you go, ladies,
Thank you,
Uh-uh, uh-uh, I got this,
No, no,
Okay?
You just get me the essay by Thursday, no excuses,
Sandra?
Mm-hmm,
Come on back,
I should probably warn you, I'm not sure I buy it,
This, I mean, was um, Ben's idea,
Ben's my husband,
For now,
How long ago did he move out?
Six days ago,
Yeah, he found a temporary place,
He says he'll do marriage counseling,
but only if I work on me first,
Suddenly, he's Dr, Phil,
Can I ask, how does this work?
I just sit here and talk and,,,
It seems like it's important for you to have a plan,
That what I have to look forward to?
A rich man's wife became sick
and when she felt that her end was drawing near,
she called her only daughter to her bedside
and said, "Dear child, remain good,"
The girl went out to her mother's grave every day
and wept,
When winter came, the snow spread white cloth
over the grave
and when the spring sun had removed it again,
the man took himself another wife,
Times soon grew very bad for the poor stepchild,
"Why should that stupid goose
"sit in the parlor with us," they said,
"Out with this kitchen maid!"
Home again, home again,
There you are,
I stopped by Gristedes,
God, what a zoo,
Oh, thanks,
You didn't have to go tonight,
Oh, hello, hello, hello,
Hey,
What is all this?
It's a draft for the parent essay
for the private schools,
Alex,,,
I know, I know,
but I had lunch with Judy today
and she thinks we might have a shot at a scholarship,
Really?
Here, here, you relax,
No, no, no, I've got this,
I mean, you don't,,,
You don't think that's a waste of time?
I mean, you know,
it's a long shot, obviously, but,,,
Right,
I went by the public school that we are zoned for now
and it's not great, honestly,
The classrooms are overcrowded,
I'm just worried he could get totally lost,
I know we've always said we're not those parents,
but I don't know, - We can't afford to be,
Maybe,,,
Greg!
Relax,
Anyway,
She said we should at least try a few privates
along with the magnet program,
so I was hoping you could help me brainstorm,
Tonight?
You are so much better at this than I am,
I am not better at this than you,
No, you are wonderful, Alex! - No, no, no, you are!
Everything I write seems so cloying,
Is there a prompt?
Oh, you know,,,
How is Jake more special than all the other
hundreds of thousands of,,,
Okay, okay, is there an actual prompt?
Um, let's see,
All right,
Imagine someone were to see a room full of
children playing,
Ignoring physical attributes,
how would they identify your child?
Show 'em about this,
No!
That is not funny!
That's exactly the kind of thing
that sounds like parent bullshit,
But that is not bullshit,
He was hours old,
Developmentally, babies don't typically do that
for days at least,
Yeah,
- He was clearly, oh shit,,, - Oh, be careful, be careful!
What is she doing on the toaster oven?
She's drying,
Her head broke off,
I guess she fell and he came out sobbing
with this decapitated Cinderella,
like she'd been guillotined,
So what, you super-glued her?
Well, yeah,
I kept insisting, you know, she's fine,
I told him it was another necklace,
Aww,
He buy that?
I think,
Mm-hmm,
I've always said the more attention we pay now,
the more we really listen,
the more engaged and confident they'll be,
Not just in school, but their whole lives,
Which is why it is so important to create
a preschool atmosphere where children
are encouraged to be their truest,
most authentic selves,
At this age, that's really the most important thing,
Yeah, but they're just playing all day, right?
I mean, basically what you got here is
a well-funded playroom,
Well,
the truth is creativity and imagination
are both foundational for all types of higher learning,
A colleague of mine wrote a great book on the subject,
if you're interested,
It's very accessible,
If it's crap you can tell me,
No, no, shh,
It's just so hard to pitch him,,,
Oh, trust me, I get it,
I get it,
I am almost,,,
Done,
Okay,
My God, your face,
What?
Maybe this is not even worth it,
Stop,
It's terrific,
Really?
Yes,
There's only one thing I,,,
No, of course, I mean, you must have notes,
You talk about his imagination,
which is great,
since that's really the best indicator,
Why not use that as a lead-in
to talk a little about his gender expansive play?
With anecdotes,
So, you mean like,,,
It could be anything, really,
I was in his classroom on Tuesday
and he and Emily and Michelle
were creating their own fairy tale,
this enchanted forest,
and they'd made trees out of chairs and pillows
and Jake,,,
Jake was this princess who didn't know she was a princess
and Emily was the witch who was keeping her locked up
and Michelle was somebody's helper or something, but,,,
Anyway, it was really Jake who was the ringleader,
You think talking about that would,,,
I mean, I'm sure you're right,
I just wanna make sure that I understand,
Well, for one thing, someone's gonna read this
and then they're gonna meet Jake
and it always a good sign
when parents seem to really know their kids,
which, of course, you do,
Right,
But there's sort of a big part of his personality
that you don't even mention, right?
Here's the second thing,
The numbers are ridiculous,
Especially when it comes to which families
they're gonna help financially,
But what you have to remember is
everybody wants diversity,
Mm-hmm,
Let's be honest, Jake,
he's very special,
And believe me, this is the part of my job
I hate the most, this, this strategizing,
But I really think that this is a card you could play,
That's all,
Not to mention, you want him to be somewhere
he can thrive, right?
And the prince fell on Rapunzel,
Standing on Rapunzel,
Look what I made,
All right, so it's all about progression, right?
It's like you have to have the right story,
so this is my pulled together,
you don't have to worry about me
because I'm a modern, independent, working woman picture,
Right?
Very slick, yeah,
Thank you,
And then this one, which is loving mommy,
Aww!
Loving mommy, yes, I have a kid,
and if that freaks you out, well, too bad,
'cause I'm not going to apologize about it kinda picture,
Sort of pimping him out, though, aren't you?
Stop!
No, I'm not,
Wait, wait, wait, wait, show him the message,
Sanjay, come on, baby, it's that time,
We're not done yet,
Right, okay,
"Wowza, Amal!
"You are truly an exotic beauty
"and your English is so impressive!
"Maybe we could go for a ride sometime,
"No magic carpet here, but I do have a Prius!"
No, no!
What is wrong with people?
Right?
I know, and it's not even the half of it,
Come on, baby, I'm not jo-
Where did they?
Oh, what in the world?
I'm so sorry, Alex,
No, no, no, I got it,
This is all Jake,
Are you sure?
Yes,
- Let me take that, - Thank you,
Okay, bye,
Sanjay, come on!
Mommy's had a long day,
He can't leave!
Well, he has to,
You really don't think it's weird?
About Judy,
Mm,
I don't know, I mean,,,
She was strategizing, right?
Yeah, no, the strategizing I get,
but the way she was talking, it was just a little,,,
I don't know,
I mean, he does like to play dress-up,
that's not news,
Not that I care, obviously, but,
he's not exactly Johnny Basketball,
Johnny what?
You know,
That's not an expression,
I know it's not, I'm just saying,
What's your day like tomorrow?
I have a break around noon,
I go into Legal Aide till three,
then pick up Jake,
You okay?
Yeah,
Yeah, of course,
Laurel!
Laurel,
Hi, Greg,
Hey,
Listen, um, I've been meaning to mention,
and maybe you've already noticed this,
but the walls here are a little,,,
And most of my patients, they're pretty tame,
but you know, if you ever,
if there's a noise issue or,,,
Oh, you're so sweet,
I haven't even noticed,
Oh, and I wouldn't want you to worry about that,
I know in my own work how important
vocalizing can be,
I find it so helpful in releasing all kinds of
emotional buildup,
Right,
I'm sure you're familiar with Arthur Janov,
It's scream therapy,
It's what?
Janov, he was big in the sixties,
He's all about finding your primal scream
and releasing it into the world,
Jesus,
Yeah, and apparently, this is like her niche,
you know?
Which means this is not going to stop,
Hello?
Yeah, sorry, I,,,
It's not his personality,
I think that's what bugged me,
What?
About Judy,
She was acting like I'd failed to mention
some deep-seated part of him and it's like,
yeah, he likes fairy tales,
but maybe that's not the most
critical thing worth mentioning,
He knows all 50 states, he's already started reading,
How many kids his age are reading?
Hey, Allie, Allie, okay, look, I love you,
but I think that you're fixating,
No, I'm not fixating, I just think
he should get a clean slate,
I don't want to send him off to kindergarten labeled,
I don't think anyone's trying to label him,
You know, Allie, Judy loves Jake,
Judy loves you,
She's on your side, all right?
And she's not, you know, your mother,
Hey,
Hey, I was kidding,
No, it's fine, um,,,
Allie,
Look, I gotta go,
Uh, I love you,
Nipples,
I wanna touch your nipple,
What if we pitched it like Jake is not limited
to trucks or whatever,
Uh, he likes all sorts of toys and games,
equal opportunity,
Yeah, our son, who walks into a Toys R Us
and he does not discriminate on the basis
of perceived gender norms,
That's actually not that bad,
But that's just an idea, we don't have,,,
Oh, my God,
Allie,
What's wrong?
Whoa, whoa, you're not happy?
No, no, of course I'm happy, I,,,
Hey, hey,
I just don't,
I don't want to assume,
No, of course not,
And we won't,
But with Jake everything was fine,
It's not a pattern,
I just, I,,,
I guess I didn't think it would happen so fast,
Well, I am sorry that I'm so damn virile,
I don't know what else to say besides that, though,
I am sorry,
Bye, Miss Matthews, thank you,
This is a very dressed up mess,
We believe it's our job to harness
every student's unique potential,
Nurturing intellectual curiosity,,,
Critical thinking,,,
Problem solving,,,
Artistic expression,
Jake, breakfast!
Socks make my feet sticky!
Hey, buddy,
We're running late,
We do give priority to siblings,
My wife is on a ton of boards,
I don't know if that's helpful, or,,,
You know, it's impossible to predict,
but on average it's approximately 400,
600,
900,
36,000 children applied for a spot
in one of the cities magnet programs last year,
In a few weeks we'll visit some new schools
and you'll play with some kids and meet some teachers
and you should just be yourself,
And that's all that matters, okay?
So it's no big deal at all,
Yes,
No biggie,
Um, you could have a fruit roll-up
later if you want,
Yeah!
Except they're kind of sticky,
Hello?
Wheeler, yeah,
W-H-E-E-L-E-R,
And my son is Jake,
Preschools will receive feedback in December,
Of course we wish we had room for all your little angels,
but the numbers are what they are,
The numbers are what they are,
Oh, look at that!
What's that?
Is that for us?
Yes!
No, I did that,
Let me try,
That's what I clicked on,
No, I think it's the one over there,
I don't know,
I can't deal with this,
There,
Right?
I mean, it's insane,
Between the down regs and the stems,
trigger shots, blood samples,
I mean, not to mention anesthetic for egg retrieval,
All in all, you're probably stabbed about 75 times
per cycle,
And most of the stabbing you're doing to yourself,
I had this whole kit at the office,
They say if you're squeamish about needles,
IVF will either cure you or break you,
I actually,,,
That doesn't bother you?
You mean,,,
The banshee next door,
What about Ben?
What about him?
Was he supportive?
Just, in all this,
We've got a few minutes,
He'd call the office,
Constantly checking in, you know,
he'd email me these fertility blogs,
what to eat, what not to eat,
That sounds like a lot of pressure,
You have kids?
Yeah, one,
It's like when guys say, "We're pregnant!"
You know?
Like, wow,
Equality, great,
But actually you're not, so maybe you could just
fuck off a little bit,
Allie, come on,
You're being ridiculous,
I'm fine,
You've got clients,
So what, so I'll reschedule,
Cue the ballerina,
It's his first interview, this is important,
He's gonna be nervous,
Exactly,
You know, I'm sorry, but what happens
if you puke on the train?
You think that's gonna put him in a good mood?
All right, there's some apple slices
with peanut butter in the kitchen,
Make sure he eats on the way,
Yeah, but Little Mermaid's my favorite movie,
Mm-hmm,
Here you go,
Thank you very much,
Hey Jake, let's go over there,
First time?
Yeah,
At our last one they left the door open,
so I could peek in,
And I saw my son was drawing a picture
and I thought, "that's good, that's good," right?
So the teacher comes over and says,
"Hey, what's that?"
And he said, "A gun,"
Well, he can' fix America, no?
No, he can't,
Mr, Wheeler,
Can I have a word with you?
Alexandra, it's your mother,
I haven't heard from you in over a week,
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think
a simple phone call is so much to ask,
An emoji does not count,
In any case, listen, I just talked to your brother
and Kimmy's got a piano recital on the eleventh,
I don't know if you've heard her play recently,
but she's really getting very good,
It's amazing, frankly, the discipline at her age,
I thought it might be nice for Jake to see,
It might inspire him, who knows,
Oh, have you set a date for his birthday party yet?
I don't want a situation like last year,
Really broke my heart,
So call me,
I'm at the office, be here all day,
Remember what that's like?
Of course it's ridiculous, I'm not saying it's not,,,
I mean, abusive was the word you used,
Okay,
You said whoever had the bright idea
to evaluate toddlers using test scores
deserves a special place in hell,
He got a 96!
He,,,
Are you talking about out of a hundred?
Yeah, well, I mean, it's percentile,
so you can't get higher than 99, but,,,
Wait, what is all this?
Okay, look,
So, they break it down, right?
Mm-hmm,
There's verbal ability, spatial relations,
fine motor skills,,,
Fine motor skills,
Yeah, like how he holds a pencil,
And I was worried about that, too,
'cause he's left-handed, which I mean,
obviously they can't discriminate but,,,
Okay, but wait, whoa, you are out of your mind,
Okay, okay, look at the narrative,
Jake was enthusiastic and curious,
Enthusiastic!
And proved remarkably focused on the task at hand
with a keen eye, he was able to group pictures
based on common properties,
copying several rows of symbols to match a code,
What the fuck?
Well, sticks, shapes, and things, relax,
Okay,
Wait, wait, this is my favorite part,
Using an unconventional, but still affective,
left-handed grip, a delight to work with,
What's wrong?
I don't understand,
I guess Jake had made friends
with one of the girls in his group
and one of the boys overheard what they were talking about
and uh, that boy told some other boy,
who told some other boy,
who started teasing Jake,
What were they saying?
I don't know, but apparently,
before the teacher could intervene,
things got physical,
They started shoving each other,
I think Jake fell down,
Jesus,
Yeah, and then I guess Jake shoved the other kid back,
Then I guess he started crying,
But did you tell them he's not like that?
When has he ever shoved anyone?
Oh, no, no, they knew,
They knew that he was being teased, okay,
The man was really nice about it,
I actually think he was a little embarrassed,
Why?
Well,
he kept dancing around what had happened,
talking about Jake's creative role play or whatever
and then suddenly I realized, oh God,
this guy doesn't know how to tell me
that my son was uh,
well, he was the Little Mermaid, it turns out,
Damn this thing,
Anyway, once it was over, the teacher,
she sat both of them down, they had a talk
about respectful behavior
and she encouraged Jake to use his words if he was angry,
He couldn't talk,
No, I guess not,
No, no, no, no, I mean,
the Little Mermaid loses her voice,
She can't talk for like half the movie,
You never thought of that?
Well, are you mad at me?
Well, now they're gonna think he's got anger issues
or doesn't know how to communicate his feelings,
I should have taken him,
Well, thanks,
No, I'm not saying it's your fault,,,
Because it's not,
Well, it's a red flag, okay?
They're looking for anything,
Shit,
Well, somehow I was a little more
concerned about Jake than how it might affect his chances,
Excuse me?
I just,,,
Maybe we've got things a little backwards here,
Hey, hey, that is not fair,
Being concerned for his chances is being concerned for Jake,
Yeah, I realize that,
And frankly, if you're worried about him
being teased at Sibley Hall, maybe you know,
think about what it'd be like for him
someplace where the teacher's got 40 kids
crammed into a class half the size,
Okay, okay,
You think this won't happen again?
Okay, fine,
So don't tell me I'm not concerned about Jake,
I mean, okay, I'm not a crazy mom, Alex,
I don't want to hoard him,
I want him to have his father in his life,
but he needs routine right now,
It's so important at this age,
Of course,
I mean, honestly, I shouldn't even complain, it's,
it's a good thing that he wants to be involved,
I just,,,
I honestly think sometimes it's the lawyers
that make it all impossible,
No offense,
No!
I'm sure you're right,
You ladies need any help?
Yes, I do,
I was looking at the Power Rangers costumes
and I couldn't see anything in red,
My son's like, yea high,
We may be sold out of that color,
I can check,
Oh, no, no you see, it's,
it really has to be red,
Okay,
Yeah, okay,
So what does Jake want to be, hmm?
Oh, you know, Jake,
He has a different idea every other day,
Probably just grab a few options,
- Yeah, smart, - Miss?
Oh my God, my hero!
Yes, you found it,
Hey, Teresa, can we get a price check
on a baby Frankenstein kit?
Thanks,
Maybe we should explain to him
why Rapunzel's not a good idea,
I just think,,,
What if someone says something
or even a funny look?
I know,
You know, it's our job to protect him,
Meredith,
Come on,
You really don't have to stay,
There's a good chance he'll just forget,
Why?
Why can't I be Rapunzel?
Did you see the pirate?
- No! - It's awesome!
It's got these tassels! - No!
No, no!
You've got all these other options,
Hey, buddy, come on,
Mommy's trying really hard to,,,
It's not fair!
Jake,
I don't understand, you promised me!
You haven't even looked at them, babe,
- Trick or treat! - Trick or treat,
I hate you!
Jake, I need you to calm down,
Please,
Just for one second,
You're not, you can't,,,
Happy Halloween,
Listen, if you're,,,
No,
He was Ben,
He just had the face of the man from the bodega,
Like the man from the bodega was playing Ben in my dream,
Okay,
And we get to the top of the mountain,
Mm-hmm,
And the snaps on my pack pop off
and all of my gear just falls off,
just rolling down this ravine
and I'm watching it go and I know this is bad,
but for some reason I just start laughing,
So I guess I'm wondering, what does that mean?
Well, that depends,
Yeah, I know,
I'm just wondering what you think it means,
I mean, just give me your two cents,
I mean, isn't that why we're here?
I think that's less important
than your own associations,
Oh my god!
I'm sorry, are you always like this?
Or just here?
I'm sorry,
I think we should end early today,
You're allowed to feel frustrated,
Yeah, I know I'm allowed,
With me, I mean,
What am I like?
Switzerland,
That's what Ben and I call you,
'Cause when I first started coming,
he would always ask me whose side you were on,
I told him
you don't like taking sides,
Whoa, slow down, boys,
Greg!
Nice to see you,
Oh, hey,
Hi,
I just, I got here early today,
so I figured I would just, I don't know,
check in, see if there were any updates,
Truth is I haven't talked to Bethany this week,
but we spoke on Friday and she said
that Jake had actually been a little better,
Better?
I mean, I just meant the schools,
Oh,
What's up with Bethany?
No, there were, uh, one or two incidents in class,
I spoke with Alex about it briefly over the phone,
She didn't tell me,
Uh, here, honey, come on in,
It was nothing serious,
He's always liked doing things his own way,
You know that,
Yes,
But lately, according to Bethany,
he's been a little more,,,
Obsessive?
Refusing to leave the dress-up corner
when it's time to move on to something else,
He'll act out the uh, oh, what do you call it?
The stroke of midnight,
Over and over again, - Oh, right,
Right,
Bong, bong, bong,
Yeah, wait come back!
I don't even know your name,
Exactly,
Alex says he's been fine at home,
No, no, he's just, it's, he's been a handful lately,
It's normal stuff,
Alex thinks that maybe we need to set
better boundaries, so that Jake can learn
a little more self control,
Do you agree?
It's just that I also know that she's not,,,
She's not totally herself right now,
And I don't blame her,
You know, she's scheduling everything,
the interviews, the tours,
For a while there she was nauseous every other morning,
She's been sick?
Oh, shit,
Please don't tell anyone,
Oh, I won't, I won't,
I just, we're not telling anyone
till we're past 13 weeks, you know?
I understand,
She told people sooner last time
and then when we lost the baby,,,
I know how hard she took it,
I just know how much she respects you,
She always has,
And I was thinking if you do talk to her
that maybe,,,
You could try to reassure her that nothing's wrong, just,
that things are gonna be okay,
I'd like to show you something,
If you have a minute,
He did these last Thursday,
I was going to show Alex, but as long as you're here,
Jake did these?
Mm-hmm,
But they don't,,,
They don't look like his,
I mean, I get it, it's,,,
That's a lot of blood,
Well, the blood's one thing,
A lot of children are fascinated by it,
And justifiably so,
But sometimes artwork like this can be an opportunity,
It can help us understand something
a child might be having difficulty communicating,
Do you ever see children in your practice?
Uh, no,
Couples, occasionally, but mostly individuals,
Why?
I guess it's beside the point,
I was uh, just curious if Jake has,
you know, ever expressed concern to either of you
about his gender,
No,
I mean, I don't think so,
There's a curiosity maybe,
Um, he asked once, we were having dinner,
and he asked why boys can't wear skirts,
You know, 'cause girls can wear pants,
What'd you tell him?
We told him the truth, I guess,
which is there is no good reason, really,
But then I mentioned that um, in Scotland
men wear kilts, which are kinda like skirts,
We Google imaged kilts, looked at some pictures,
He wasn't very impressed,
So you didn't tell him there are men
who do wear dresses in our culture?
You talk to Judy at all recently?
Week before last maybe,
Why?
I was just wondering if we might want to
bring Jake to see someone,
A professional,
Why?
It's a lot of change all at once, you know?
We visited a bunch of schools,
Right,
I mean, and if he's already having trouble
regulating his you know, I mean,,,
Maybe it could be helpful,
You don't think that might make things worse?
How?
I don't know,
He's only four,
We put him in therapy and then there's,
suddenly there's a stranger asking all these questions,
You know that's not how it works,
But what if he starts thinking
there's something wrong with him?
That's not what I'm saying,
No, I know it's not, but, you know, it's,,,
I don't know, it's the message he might get,
Kids are moody,
He'll be fine,
Okay, I think it's time that we clean all this up
and get ready to go home,
♪ Clean up everybody clean up ♪
Jake, I'd like you to come out and help us, please,
Come on, Jake,
No,
I really, really, really need your help to clean up
because we're getting ready to go home,
Come on, Jake,
Jake, I'd like you to come out and help us
clean this up,
Please?
Do you need help in there?
Sandra, hi,
It's Greg Wheeler,
I thought we were scheduled for 2PM today,
Um, maybe you're on your way,
Or maybe something came up,
Anyway, call me back so we can reschedule,
If we need to,
Here you go, bud,
You working on your states again?
Yeah,
Oh, I bet that's your grandma,
Ah, Catherine!
You are a lifesaver,
I'm so sorry,
We had a sitter lined up,
She's very reliable, I have no idea what happened this time,
Well, I don't know why you would pay anyone,
- Well,,, - I've told Alex
a thousand times, I'm happy to have my time with you both,
And that's very sweet, we just,
we know that you're busy,
Hi, Mom, hi,
Here do you want me to,,,
Hi, honey,
Oh, I ran into Simon Weingold,
He was asking after you,
Said they're missing you terribly,
Aw, that's nice of him,
And I said with Jake in school next year,
you're gonna have a lot more time on your hands,
Uh, Jake!
Come say hi to Nana,
I still need Montana,
Honey, no time to curl your hair?
How often do you go out for goodness sakes?
Well, wear it behind if you can't, yeah,
Oh, what have we got here?
Oh, that's from the dress-up corner at Jake's school,
his teacher let him take it,
Let me see it,
Oh, no need to explain, I do read the New York Times,
God forbid anything should be off limits,
So um,,,
Where is my favorite grandson?
His dinner's ready in the fridge,
just zap it in the microwave two, three minutes,
Set the timer,,, - Remember, keep it behind,
Yeah, I have used a microwave before,
Oh, and the super is right downstairs,
If you need anything, just knock,
He stays there, he's almost always home,
I did raise two of my own,
You remember that, don't you?
Very true,
Thank you,
Okay, put a brush through your hair, honey,
- Okay, - Really,
Thank you again,
Love you, - All right, bye bye,
- Thank you, - Bye bye,
Here I come, ready or not!
Yeah, marketing has got to be fascinating in that way,
just the whole trying to get inside people's heads,
It must be such a creative challenge,
You know, it is not about being creative,
That's what people don't get,
Well, I think you're creative,
Thank you, but you gotta understand,
People are up against so many goddamn options,,,
- Do you want some? - No,
For everything, right?
I mean, you walk into a market you see like,
twenty different kinds of water for Christ's sake?
I mean, so the best marketing strategy
is not about being creative,,,
- Here, - Greg, I said no,
I'm not gonna eat it anyway,
No, it's about being direct,
It's about being simple,
And ultimately, people and look, I'll just say this,
I'm sorry, especially women,
they wanna be told what to do,
No, we don't,
I call complete bullshit on that,
It's not bullshit,
So much bullshit,
Can I get anyone another round?
Yeah,
I would love another drink, uh,,,
I'm sorry,
What is your favorite specialty cocktail?
Ah, case in point,
No, that's not what I'm doing,
I'm asking her opinion,
I really like the elderflower,,,
Hold on, I can't hear you,
Um, yeah, sure I'll have one of those,
Thank you,
What's going on?
I'm so sorry,
He what?
I'll be back,
Yeah, okay,
Calm down,
No, no, I understand,
What happened?
He threw Cinderella at her,
What?
The figurine,
Look,,,
Look, just put him on the phone, okay?
I want to talk to him,
Yeah, well tell him if he doesn't stop now,
we're canceling his birthday party,
I'm serious,
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey!
No, let me talk to her,
Let me talk to her, come here,
Hey,
Hi, Kate, it's Greg,
I'm so sorry,
Do you need us to come home?
That's exactly what he wants,
What's that?
No, I know,
No, we'll leave the phone on so you,,,
Right, okay, well,
Bye,
I mean, he's not an idiot, he knows what he's doing,
Well, yeah, I mean, honestly if you're this upset about it
you might consider listening to me,
Maybe we should bring him to see someone,
Okay, can we not do this right now?
He just assaulted his grandmother,
Well, she's probably exaggerating,
Okay, you threatened to cancel his birthday party
because she's probably exaggerating?
Greg, I was setting a boundary,
That's allowed,
Yeah, it is, but don't flip it around
and try to minimize it,
If he's acting out, he's acting out,
Greg, he's a kid!
God forbid he should be a little more aggressive than you,
I'm so sorry, guys,
No, of course,
Is everything okay?
Oh, you know,
He's just punishing us for having a night out,
You know, maybe I should go,
Greg, we offered,
I know, but I just think that if one of us was there,,,
We can't just upend our plans every time he's in a mood,
Where's the lesson in that?
Fine, you're the boss,
Here you are, miss,
The elderflower saki tea,
Thank you, perfect timing,
Cheers to grown up time,
Cheers,
So, Caitlyn Jenner,
Is she a lesbian now or what?
What?
Well, okay, so I was listening to this interview
where um, he, she,,,
Well, yeah, Miss Jenner, uh, she said that she was
still attracted to women and you know,
even though now she's a,,,
So I was just wondering is she,
like what is she now?
Is she a lesbian? - I'm sorry,
how did we get on to,,,
I know, I was just, I have no idea,
You know, he watches so much TV,
Stop,
I was just reminded of it because
when you were outside we were talking about your son,
I was just explaining that,,,
I was just saying it's hard, you know,
Admissions time, kindergarten, it's so hard
for a child, you know who,,,
Who what?
Who has a unique expression, Alex,,,
Listen, hey, you know, my brother, Mikey,
when he was a kid, he was obsessed with that uh,
that game Pretty Pretty Princess and you know,
you cut to freshman year of college
and he's on the football team, 200 pounds six foot three,
So, it just goes to show you,,,
I'm not sure I follow this,
I'm just saying that you may,
you probably don't need to worry, that's all,
No one's worried,
That's not what he meant,
Well, that's not exactly true,
I'm a little worried,
And so are his teachers, apparently,
All right, you know what?
Amal, let me ask you something,
You took Sanjay to see a therapist last year, right?
Greg,
I'm sorry, is that a taboo subject?
I just, we're all friends here,
I think you've had a little too much to drink,
I just am curious
about your experience as a parent,
And it's fine,
Well, with the divorce we wanted to be safe,
so I took him to a therapist,
Thank you,
Okay, well that was a very different situation,
How is that different?
Because with Sanjay there was an obvious problem,
What do you mean by that?
No, no, not problem, I,,,
Right,
No, no, no, I just meant,
you know, there was something external, not,,,
just how he likes to play, - I think we should just,
I really think we should just drop this right now,
It's more than how he likes to play,
What's that supposed to mean?
It means,,,
What?
What were you going to say?
We can talk about it later,
No, what?
Let's have it,
What were you gonna say?
We're all friends, right?
Fine,
Uh, I was giving Jake a bath the other night
and he tucked his penis between his legs, okay?
All boys do that,
Right?
- Well, not really, - Sure,
Oh, come on, you're saying Sanjay's never,,,
No,
And you're saying he's done this before?
Well, it's bath time,
What am I supposed to say, no?
Clearly you're the one who had a problem with it,
I didn't say I had a problem with it,
I said that there are people who specialize
in exactly this type of behavior,
Frankly, I'm not sure what Jake needs right now
is one more adult in his life
gossiping behind his back,
Oh my god,
Trying to come up with some sort of diagnosis,
No one was gossiping, Alex, you need to really,,,
I'm sorry, I didn't realize we were talking about
a disease here,
It's just,,,
Hey, can I interest anyone in some dessert?
We're good,
Just,,,
Just the check,
Okay,
You can just take a seat back there,
How much have I gained?
Three pounds since last time,
So a total of almost five,
I feel like with my son it was more,
Yeah, it varies, but it's definitely
within the normal range,
And your iron was a little low last time,
I'm taking the supplement he recommended,
Take a deep breath,
Okay,
Just breathe,
Hey!
Hi, Kimmy!
Good Lord!
That's almost as big as Jake,
Yeah, well, I kept the receipt,
I know he's particular,
Um, you guys know Amal, right?
- Hi, - Hi,
Nice to see you!
How are you?
Oh, my goodness gracious,
Hi, Mom,
Oh, hi, honey,
Don't you look nice?
Who is uh,,,
Hi, Kimmy, how are you doing?
Kimmy, we don't run inside!
It's a giant teddy bear,
Can I hold it?
Can I see it?
Everybody, it's for Jake, it's his present,
It's his birthday, thank you,
You need some help, sweetheart?
No, I'm almost done,
Ah,
My daughter the baker,
You know I wish you wouldn't do that,
What?
Like all this is just,,,
A waste of time,
I wasn't,,,
I just meant you didn't learn that from me,
Stop it!
Hey, stop it, Sanjay!
What is the matter with you, baby?
What happened?
Sanjay pushed Bobby,
He started it because Bobby called Jake a flag,
Oh,
Flag?
Jake, honey,
Hey, Mom, no, no, no, no, I got it,
I got it,
Hey,
Hey, you okay?
It's almost time to make a wish,
Babe, come on,
Honey,
Honey, talk to me, please?
You know, just,,,
Excuse me one moment,
Sure,
Laurel,
It's gotta stop,
Look, I know that you're with a client right now
and I really hate to interrupt, but this is,,,
I'm not with a client,
What?
I said I'm not with a client,
You seem angry,
Is there something you need to release?
Well, we'll talk to you next week,
Thank you so much,
Fingers crossed,
Right on time,
Yeah, got some good news for us?
Come on in,
Okay, but this is preliminary feedback, right?
They haven't made their decisions,
That's true,
So, is there any chance one could still end up
accepting him?
It's possible, but I have to be honest,
At this point it's unlikely
it would come with financial aid,
What about the magnets?
BSI, PS20?
We'll know more in a few weeks,
But his scores were so high,
They were very strong,
But the cutoffs go up every year,
There's just too much demand,
So you're saying he could be shut out everywhere?
I'm saying we need to be prepared,
You know, this is a numbers game,
We knew this,
I mean, we went to public school,
We turned out okay, right?
Remember, he could also do another year with us,
reapply next fall,
I know it's not ideal, but under the circumstances,
I think it might be the best thing for him,
What do you mean?
She's just listing options,
I mean, if the gifted programs don't work out,
No, but, but what circumstances?
Look,
There's no question he's bright,
He's creative, that comes across in all of the feedback,
But several places also note that he gets stubborn
and defensive when dealing with other kids,
Frankly, you two are very lucky to be
raising a kid like Jake now instead of 50 years ago,
even 20 years ago,
And what exactly does that mean?
A kid like Jake?
Okay, you know what, I think we're getting
off-topic here,
Alex, I'm very sorry that this isn't
the news we were hoping for,
but you have to understand the number of spots
we're talking about,
Of course, and I know how many kids you have to place,
Whoa, I'm not sure what you're implying here,
but you know that I care very deeply about Jake,
which is why I'm doing everything in my power
to place him somewhere where he feels safe
and comfortable enough to,,,
To dress like a girl,
Okay,
That's obviously what you're saying,
Alex,,,
And maybe the problem is that we all
started pitching him as some kind of,,,
Alex, he had no idea what was in that essay,
It doesn't matter,
Obviously it's going to affect the way
that people treat him,
I'm talking about him feeling safe and respected,
Yes!
But isn't there a danger of imposing,,,
Imposing what exactly?
No, not imposing,
That was,,,
That,,,
Greg,
Alex, do you think my sexual orientation
has anything to do with my advice regarding your son?
What?
Judy, of course not,
Because every time I try to bring up my concerns,
you respond like I'm pushing some political agenda,
And let me tell you, the impulse to embrace children
as they are is not an agenda,
No, I never said,,,
And like it or not,
you two have some choices to make here,
There's a problem,
If you don't believe me, just read the feedback yourself,
He's acting out verbally, physically,
He is and I mean, maybe,,,
Maybe he's sick of us, of us pushing him into this role,
Alex, you can't expect him
to never realize he's different,
No, but I can wait until he tells me himself,
But it sounds like he's trying,
but you're just determined to ignore it,
I am not ignoring it, Jesus!
Okay, okay, okay,
Maybe if you had ever had your own kids,
You know what?
We're done, okay?
Ah!
And I'll come grab him,
Um, I guess I'll just, I'll text you when we're,,,
No, no, everything's fine,
Um, it'll be fine,
Yeah, okay,
Thank you,
Bye,
You should lie down,
Here,
Come on,
I think you should leave,
I'm not going anywhere,
We don't have to talk,
but I'm not leaving you alone right now,
I don't think I can not talk
if you're here,
I don't think I can,,,
Not say something, something mean,
I'm very angry,
I understand,
I'm angry at you, Greg,
You should have said something to Judy,
She was out of line and
you just sat there,
We're not gonna have this conversation right now,
Yes, please tell me what conversations
we're allowed to have,
Alex, if you need to be mad at me, that's fine,
but I am not going to fight,
That is really the last thing I,,,
You should have said something!
Well, frankly, I could barely get a word in,
I was trying to keep things from escalating,
Right, right, God forbid anyone gets angry,
God forbid you ever piss someone off,
All right, this is ridiculous,
You're in shock and we're both grieving,
Oh, thank you,
I'd forgotten,
You're trying to make me feel as much
pain as you do and the irony,,,
That is not what I'm doing!
Of course it is,
Maybe not consciously, but that's definitely part of,,,
Oh my God, things I could do without number one:
The fucking unconscious!
Please, please spare me that,
Fine, let's blame Freud, right?
It's Freud's fault you miscarried,
Oh, I miscarried?
No, that is not what I,,,
You think if I'd just taken better care of myself,,,
Would you please stop,
If I hadn't overburdened myself
with Jake's applications?
Allie, for God's sake,
If I had let you call an ambulance
instead of taking a cab,
maybe we would have gotten there sooner,
Yeah, well now we'll never know, will we?
Allie, I'm sorry,
You're an asshole,
Jesus,
This is hard for me, too,
Is that impossible for you to understand?
I needed help, Greg,
And you just sat there like you were embarrassed,
Do you have any idea,,,
Okay, I'm not gonna do this,
Where are you going?
Greg!
Greg, you can't just walk away in the middle,,,
In the middle of what, an argument?
This is not an argument,
This is you shitting on me,
So I'm gonna go pick up Jake and I'm gonna take him out
and when I get back, I hope that you're in bed,
'Cause frankly, he doesn't need to see you like this,
Fine,
Fine!
Yeah, go take him out for ice cream,
And when you're done why don't you both
get your nails done, huh?
I mean, why not?
It's not like you've ever taken him to a park
or thrown a ball in his direction!
That is a disgusting thing to say,
You think it's my fault he likes dresses?
Do you think I'm too effete a role model?
Who the fuck are you?
Greg, that's not,,,
Did you listen to the feedback?
Stubborn, defensive, did that not remind you of anyone?
Not to mention, you're the one reading him fairy tales
every night,
You're the one buying him every Disney Princess DVD
you can get your hands on
and then freaking out when people start to notice,
I mean, is it any wonder he's confused?
You know, maybe the reason I didn't say anything to Judy
is because I agree with her,
I think we need to make some choices
about how to address the situation,
Fine,
You know, bring him to a shrink, what do I know, right?
I'm just the one at home with him all day, every day!
- Oh, for God's sake! - What?
You get to have a life outside this apartment!
I gave that up,
You wanna go back to work, do it,
No one's stopping you,
No, no!
I made a choice to be here because
I wanted him to have a mother who's devoted,
And because you hated being a lawyer!
Christ!
Don't pretend like you weren't desperate to get out!
This is what you wanted,
So I'm sorry if motherhood turns out to be
just another disappointment, but I am his father,
I live here, too, and I am sick of being treated
like you're raising him alone,
Jake is not a disappointment,
I said motherhood, not Jake,
This is so,,,
I'm sorry, okay?
I'm sorry for making you so unhappy,
I'm sorry for taking you for granted,
I'm sorry for all the ways I've fucked things up with Jake,
Allie,
I am, I am sorry about the baby,
No,
For whatever I did wrong,
I am not asking you to apologize,
Just please, please, let's just stop,
It's Judy,
She called before at the hospital,
Just wanted to make sure everything was okay,
Well, it's not,
What do you think is holding you back?
I mean, like I said, it's stupid,
It's just a signature,
It's not like it changes anything,
His stuff's already gone,
The financials are straightforward,
There's no custody battle,
Silver linings, right?
You know, you never really talked about that,
What?
Well,,,
Kids,
There's not much to talk about,
We talked about IVF
and how hard that was on both of you,
But I don't think you ever mentioned the decision to stop,
Does that matter at this point?
I think it might,
It's just my two cents,
Well, it was always part of the plan, I guess,
And when it didn't happen right away,
we both kept assuming with all the options
the next one, this'll be the one,
Then the one after that,
Then the one after that and then at a certain point,
I think we both just realized,
We were eating takeout one night
and he looked at me and said,
"We're done, aren't we?"
I guess we were,
And how did you feel?
Honestly?
I felt relieved,
I knew how much Ben wanted it,
I knew it was what I should want,
But,,,
I don't know,
I thought,,,
Oh, thank God,
You didn't think you could tell him?
I think he knew,
It's so quiet in here,
Ah, Dr, Hendricks decided to relocate,
I miss the banshee,
Okay,
Here you go,
Thank you,
Judy, I,,,
It's really good to see you,
You try,,,
You try so hard to protect them, but,,,
It's never gonna be easy to really see people,
Especially the ones we love,
Hon?
In here,
Alex, hi,
Hi, Lynn,
Hey,
I am gonna go get changed,
Okay,
She hates my guts, doesn't she?
She'll get over it,
What's the matter with you?
This is a child!
Get off that bike!
You're not in control!
If I ever see you on a bike without a helmet,
it will not be a pretty picture, okay?
Can't sleep?
I've noticed some things about this movie,
Things that don't make sense,
'Cause the idea is that Cinderella is this
abused servant girl, right?
But she's got an entourage of animals
waiting on her hand and foot,
They bathe her, they dress her,
Honestly, she's not doing too bad,
It's a good school,
I think he'll be happy,
You know, when he was a baby,
I was so convinced he knew things,
I would look at him and wish so badly he could talk
'cause I was sure he wanted to tell me,
He's got time,
Maybe he'll come around,
Come to bed,
Hi,
Mr, and Mrs, Wheeler?
Come on in,
Do you know what I've been meaning to ask you about?
Which one is Aurora again?
Who's Aurora?
Aurora?
Yeah, that's who you dressed up as, isn't it?
Aurora's Sleeping Beauty,
That's right,
Oh, yes, and they have those three little fairies
that travel,,,
And they take her to a cottage
and then she doesn't know she's a princess,
Mm-hmm,
They can't tell her and they're all like,,,
Ready, ready?
One, two, three, whee!
♪ You are the sun to the earth ♪
♪ You are the light of this world ♪
♪ Won't you see ♪
♪ Why won't you see ♪
♪ You are the hand I can't reach ♪
♪ You are the words I can't speak ♪
♪ Won't you say ♪
♪ Why won't you say ♪
♪ I will walk till I've no shadow ♪
♪ You twist the light in your hands ♪
♪ Losing thoughts so you move you can't give ♪
♪ Reasons fall from every storm that you live ♪
♪ We move through the dark helpless ♪
♪ You are the quiet in my soul ♪
♪ You are the pieces of gold ♪
♪ Won't you shine ♪
♪ Why won't you shine ♪
♪ I will walk till I've no shadow ♪
♪ You twist the light in your hands ♪
♪ Losing thoughts so you move you can't give ♪
♪ Reasons fall from every storm that you live ♪
♪ We move through the dark helpless ♪
♪ You are the quiet in my soul ♪
♪ You are the pieces of gold ♪
♪ Won't you shine ♪
♪ Why won't you shine ♪
♪ I will walk till I've no shadow ♪