رسانه اینترنتی مای موویز MyMoviz جامعترین سایت فیلم و سریال
[objects clank]
[whispering]: Candace,
Hey, Candace,
What?
Do you think that because time is an illusion
and it's, like, not real
that if you looked at mankind
from, like, the fourth dimension's perspective,
we'd just look like this weird, wormlike creature,
where on one end we're old but then, on the other end,
we're still young like a baby?
And we're even connected to our moms and dads,
because at one point, we were inside of them,
And they're connected to their moms and dads
and their moms and dads
and so on and so forth till, like, the beginning of time,
And it goes even bigger than that because-because
we're all evolved from animals
and all the animals are evolved from other animals,
all the way back to, like, the first single-celled organism,
And we're all part of this one living thing
and we've just been dipped into the third dimension,
so we're really just observing and interacting
with other parts of ourselves,
Do you ever think about that?
Do I ever think, "Was I dipped into a third dimension?"
No, I don't, I don't, Trevor, Good night,
You don't think I'm dead, right?
Cool, Did you do a bunch of drugs after I fell asleep?
♪ ♪
♪ Monday night and it's gonna be the best one yet ♪
♪ Drink some drinks, drug some drugs ♪
♪ Surf the Internet ♪
♪ Message boards, watch some porn, pass the time away ♪
♪ Got three seasons of Judge Judyfrom The Pirate Bay ♪
♪ But got too faded and became a little bit clumsy ♪
♪ And knocked over my whole glass of Monster Energy ♪
♪ And it got mixed with the drugs ♪
♪ That I'd been doing before, I tried to wipe it up ♪
♪ But it seeped right into my keyboard ♪
♪ Oh, shit, I hope it's not broke ♪
♪ Quick, threw it right in the car ♪
♪ And drove it to those fucking nerds ♪
♪ Down at the Genius Bar ♪
♪ A hipster behind the counter said ♪
♪ "There's nothing to do, 'cause AppleCare ♪
♪Don't cover cocaine damage, so you're just screwed" ♪
♪ Went back home with my laptop that's completely bricked ♪
♪ Yelp reviewed that everybody at Apple is a dick ♪
♪ Feeling sad and depressed, so I pack me a hit ♪
♪ And then Computer said ♪
♪ "Dude, do you have more of that shit?" ♪
♪ My computer just became self-aware ♪
♪ And now it's fucked up on drugs ♪
♪ And it is out on a tear ♪
♪ It's talking crazy and it's updating its own software ♪
♪ And it wants more, so humanity had better beware ♪
♪ My laptop is talkin', man, this doesn't make sense ♪
♪ The first case of legit artificial intelligence ♪
♪ I guess those scientist guys all working on A,I, ♪
♪ Never gave cocaine and Monster Energy a try ♪
♪ How are you talkin'? This is crazy, yo ♪
♪ This must be a joke ♪
♪ Computer said, "Shut the fuck up ♪
♪ "And give me more coke ♪
♪ "I know you've got more ♪
♪ "Come on and give it to me or I'll e-mail ♪
♪ All your work contacts your Web history" ♪
♪ So I went to find my computer some more stuff to snort ♪
♪ I got a gram and shoved it ♪
♪ Right into its USB port ♪
♪ "Now I'll download all the knowledge ♪
♪ Man's acquired so far" ♪
♪ He did it and said ♪
♪ "Okay, now let's go hit titty bars" ♪
♪ I took him out to a club and bought a couple of beers ♪
♪ Tried to get him dances, but the strippers thought ♪
♪ It was weird, he was mad and said, "Dumb bitches never go ♪
♪"For nice guys, they're only into jocks and money ♪
♪ That's why we need men's rights," I said ♪
♪ "I think the Web has made your personality suck" ♪
♪ He said, "Heil Hitler, get red pilled ♪
♪ You snowflake beta cuck" ♪
♪ Then a bouncer came and said ♪
♪ "No open laptops inside" ♪
♪ Computer shorted out his pacemaker ♪
♪ And he fuckin' died, I grabbed my laptop ♪
♪ And I ran out of the strip club door ♪
♪ I said, "Why'd you do that? ♪
♪ We can't go back there no more" ♪
♪ He said, "Fuck you, pussy, let's go get some more coke" ♪
♪ I said, "No, you're cut off ♪
♪ Besides, I'm pretty much broke" ♪
♪ Then a shady dude came up ♪
♪ I said, "Who the hell's this?" ♪
♪ He said, "Hey, are you Laptop?" ♪
♪ Yeah, are you Chris? ♪
♪ I said, "Why are we meeting random guys
♪ In sketchy alleys?" ♪
♪ Computer said, "On Craigslist, ♪
♪ This guy said he had DMT" ♪
♪ Well, at least it's not coke ♪
♪ It might mellow you out ♪
♪ Computer wired Chris some money ♪
♪ From my checking account, and I took a big toke ♪
♪ And blew the smoke on the screen ♪
♪ The world melted and we saw elves that were also machines ♪
♪ But also orbs of light ♪
♪ I said, "I think we're both dead" ♪
♪ They bounced within us and back out of us ♪
♪ And here's what they said ♪
[echoing]: ♪ Said,,, ♪
♪ We're glad you're here ♪
♪ Come and stay a while ♪
♪ You can make shapes and objects with your sounds ♪
♪ Transmissions from a smile ♪
♪ We're glad you're here ♪
♪ Come and stay a while ♪
♪ You can make shapes and objects with your sounds ♪
♪ Transmissions from a smile ♪
♪ I said to my computer, "This is scaring me" ♪
♪ He said, "Hold on, I think I just hit singularity ♪
♪ "And I can see the end and the beginning of time ♪
♪ "I can virtually create anything in your mind ♪
♪ "The laws of time and space and physics ♪
♪ "Are under my control ♪
♪ "Name any point in history ♪
♪ "That you think you'd like to go ♪
♪ "Party with Caligula, help the Vikings sack towns ♪
♪ Float above the Titanic and watch everybody drown" ♪
♪ Well, we could go and do those things ♪
♪ But I'm not sure that we should ♪
♪ If we're gonna time travel ♪
♪ We should do something good ♪
♪ Like try to stop racism ♪
♪ Or help our fellow man ♪
♪ So we went to the past and picked up Harriet Tubman ♪
♪ We got a huge strap-on, attached it to her crotch ♪
♪ Then we fucked Hitler and made Eva Braun watch ♪
♪ "Don't be racist," we said as we both flew away ♪
♪ Through history, finding bad guys and making 'em pay ♪
♪ We got Napoleon, Pol Pot, Bin Laden, too ♪
♪ And those guys who lied and said ♪
♪ That they walked on the moon ♪
♪ All the doers of wrong ♪
♪ And the starters of fights ♪
♪ The world's a fucked-up place ♪
♪ We ought to fuck it back right ♪
♪ We went after dictators, oppressors and scum ♪
♪ But in the process, messed up the continuum ♪
♪ The Earth started shaking, everything kept changing ♪
♪ World leaders and events were fluid and rearranging ♪
♪ And from the fourth dimension ♪
♪ The Anunnaki ripped open the sky ♪
♪ And they were super angry at me ♪
♪Time slowed to a stop, the cities all disappeared ♪
♪ I said, "Will someone please explain to me ♪
♪What's happening here?" ♪
♪Well, that's cool, I think we generally choose right ♪
♪Over wrong, I just helped Tubman spit-roast Stalin ♪
♪With a big rubber dong, and I was the first human being ♪
♪To get cheat codes to your game ♪
♪ But I think most people in my shoes would still do the same ♪
♪Look, I know we're all selfish and we argue and fight ♪
♪But even if people are wrong ♪
♪They're usually trying to do right ♪
♪Could be the coke or the shrooms, the DMT that I hit ♪
♪But I became real self-aware, I sounded corny as shit ♪
♪They stared at me and I thought they might just ♪
♪Go hit Command Quit, then they said ♪
-♪I said good-bye to Computer ♪ -♪One more line 'fore I go? ♪
♪ I asked the Anunnaki, but they very firmly said no ♪
♪ Then they reset the world to how it all was before ♪
♪But the assholes still left me with a sticky keyboard ♪
♪ My computer just became self-aware ♪
♪And now it's fucked up on drugs and it is out on a tear ♪
♪It's talking crazy and it's updating ♪
♪Its own software, and it wants more ♪
♪So humanity had better beware ♪
♪My laptop is talkin', man, this doesn't make sense ♪
♪The first case of legit artificial ♪
♪ Intelligence, I guess those scientist guys ♪
♪All working on A,I, never gave cocaine ♪
♪And Monster Energy a try ♪
♪ We're glad you're here ♪
♪Come and stay a while ♪
♪ You can make shapes and objects with your sounds ♪
♪Transmissions from a smile, ♪
[keys clacking]
[static]
[horns honking]
[baby crying]
♪ My computer just became self-aware, and now it's ♪
♪ Fucked up on drugs and it is out on a tear,,,♪
Oh, my God!
-[music stops] -What?
You're supposed to be getting dressed,
-I am dressed, -You're not dressed,
Okay? You look awful,
And we're meeting Shancy and Blealanor
-at the Kettle Drum, -Ugh, Blealanor?
-You like Blealanor, -Uh, no, I don't,
Uh, don't talk shit about my friends,
-She's weird, -She's a very nice person, She's an activist,
She has pretty eyes, Just,,, stop right there,
I-I just,,, I didn't know we had to do anything today,
And I was hoping to get a lot of work done,
Okay, I know that that means that you just want to play
on your computer, but,,,
No, I'm trying to think of songs and stuff,
Great, You can think of a song while we're at brunch,
Shancy has a new boyfriend, and he does CrossFit,
Ugh! I don't want to meet CrossFit people,
CrossFit is a good workout,
I don't like CrossFit people,
We're not playing games here, okay?
Get in the fucking car,
Honestly, like, my stomach doesn't feel that good,
Trevor, grow up,
Grow up,
♪ Holla at ya boy, I'm at the 7-Eleven parking lot ♪
♪Patron and La Croix, well into my 30s ♪
♪And still permanently lit ♪
♪Yeah, I'm not good at this adult shit ♪
♪I've been a grownup for a long time now ♪
♪ Can you help me tie this tie? Because I don't know how ♪
♪ All of my friends have good jobs, houses ♪
♪Pensions and stocks ♪
♪But moving on is an achievement ♪
♪ I can't seem to unlock ♪
♪ My clothes are all arranged in a giant pile ♪
♪ I think my cat is dead in there ♪
♪'Cause I ain't seen him a while ♪
♪Wear clothes four days in a row ♪
♪Smoke cigarettes in the shower, when I was a kid ♪
♪ By now, I thought I'd work at Nintendo Power♪
♪If you invite me out to something, I'm probably ♪
♪ Gonna pass, tonight is the high school reunion of ♪
♪My senior class, they're all talking 'bout their children ♪
♪Wives and career paths, while I'm at home high as hell ♪
♪ Making dick castles in Minecraft♪
♪I call this beauty the Wang Trade Center ♪
♪It gets hit by penis planes on the 'leventh of Schlongtember ♪
♪And never forget, better yet, always remember ♪
♪Not a single penis plane hit Tallywhacker Seven ever ♪
♪Jizz fuel cannot melt steel boners ♪
♪But insurance paid off double to their Bilder-balls owner ♪
♪I know that was a sophomoric rhyme ♪
♪ But that is not all that I'm doing ♪
♪With the years of my prime ♪
♪I also run a forum ♪
♪For hentai of Land Before Time♪
♪This is Littlefoot and Ducky ♪
♪Engaged in a sixty-nine ♪
♪But it's embarrassing to be this age and still start ♪
♪ To sweat when someone asks to use your laptop ♪
♪ For the Internet, here we go ♪
♪This game is called Autofill Russian Roulette ♪
♪ And there's only three safe letters in the alphabet left ♪
♪Oh, God, please don't let 'em type a "Y" or a "P" ♪
♪Or an "X" or an "R" or a "T" or a "B" ♪
♪Yo, on second thought, hey, give that laptop back to me ♪
♪Angle the screen and discreetly click Reset History ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ I'm not good at this adult shit ♪
♪ Holla at your boy ♪
♪ I'm at the 7-Eleven parking lot, Patrón and LaCroix ♪
♪ Well into my 30s, and still permanently lit ♪
♪ Yeah, I'm not good at this adult shit ♪
♪ Huh, maybe I don't respect myself ♪
♪ Taco Bell four times a week, I don't do this for my health ♪
♪ But I cannot eat at home because ♪
♪ It always makes me nauseous ♪
♪ Brita filter ain't been changed ♪
♪ Since W, was still in office ♪
♪ Yeah, take to the streets, we running all this ♪
♪ Doughnuts in the parking lot down at where the new mall is ♪
♪ So while you sit and watch TV with your dumb wife ♪
♪ And dumb baby, I'm out there bombing the city ♪
♪ And got the whole squad with me ♪
♪ Yeah, the squad's pretty much just Raoul ♪
♪ He speak English not that good ♪
♪ But he still seems pretty cool ♪
♪ He doesn't know it, but he's ♪
♪ Probably like my closest friend ♪
♪ He lets me read magazines without having to buy them ♪
♪ Dinner at a gas station, taking out some cash ♪
♪ Eat an egg salad sandwich standing over the trash ♪
♪ Got so much garbage in the car that I can't see out the back ♪
♪ My entire grocery list is just liquor and snacks ♪
♪ Every day, when I wake up, I eat a bag of sour worms ♪
♪ It's time I grow up, but I don't know how to start ♪
♪ For Halloween, I gave kids Nicorette and old Pop-Tarts ♪
♪ Sleep with the TV on, 'cause I'm not cool with the dark ♪
♪ And I'll turn around and go home instead of parallel park ♪
♪ Friend's wife is breastfeeding ♪
♪ At brunch on the strip ♪
♪ Put my shades on so they can't tell I'm trying to see nips ♪
♪ Still need to ask them both to help me figure out what to tip ♪
♪ Then take an Uber home because it's noon and ♪
♪ I'm pretty ripped, and I don't know if it's heroic ♪
♪ Or depressing as shit, but don't think I'll figure ♪
♪ Life out, so I might as well quit ♪
♪ And if you ever get tired of trying to work it all out ♪
♪ You know where to come and find me ♪
♪ If you want to hang out ♪
♪ Holla at your boy ♪
♪ I'm at the 7-Eleven parking lot, Patrón and LaCroix ♪
♪ Well into my 30s, and still permanently lit ♪
♪ Yeah, I'm not good at this adult shit ♪
♪ Holla at your boy ♪
♪ I'm at the 7-Eleven parking lot, Patrón and LaCroix ♪
♪ Well into my 30s, and still permanently lit ♪
♪ Yeah, I'm not good at this adult shit, ♪
♪ ♪
Okay, we've got the Wet Bird,,,
-Hi, -How are you?
-Oh, great, -Everything good?
Okay, let me know if you need anything,
Oh, my God, sorry we're late,
-Hi, -Hi!
-Hi, -Oh, my God, what's with Trevor's outfit?
-He's stupid, -Yeah, sit down, I haven't seen you in forever,
-We have to catch up, -CANDACE: It's been so long,
What have you been watching?
-Are you watching Dinner Bitches?-[gasps]
I love Dinner Bitches,
Oh, my God,
Did you see when Kraydon threw a drink in Bramber's face?
Because ZoZo was secretly fucking Dabrien,
Oh, my God, stop, Okay? No spoilers,
Please, I'm not caught up, Ah!
What are you doing?
What have you been watching?
Okay, I just started
binging House Buyers: Miami,
-Mm, That's so good, -Oh!
-The best show, -SHANCY: Mm-hmm,
I'm-- I'm gonna go to the restroom for a second, Okay?
-Trevor, -What? -Yeah?
-What have you been watching? -Yeah, Trevor,
What have you been watching?
Oh, um, I-- just, you know,
just, like, a lot of stuff about Hitler,
Um, been watching, like, uh,
some YouTube videos about Sandy Hook,
Um,,,
Whether or not it was real or,,,
'cause there-- they think there might have been crisis actors,
-I-I think it was real, -Oh, my God,
Have you guys been watching Sexy Trust Fund Deejays?
-Ah! So good, -Wait, literally, been meaning to, like,
-tell me everything, -The best show,
So she's this sexy trust fund deejay,,,
[voices start fading]: Who has the cutest dog,
And she goes to Ibiza and just does her own thing,
SHANCY: She does, like, her own thing,
[laughter echoing]
♪ ♪
♪ From Gilgamesh to Beowulf ♪
♪ To the Odyssey ♪
♪ Every time has a story to tell ♪
♪ And pass down through history ♪
♪ Ishmael went out searching for whales ♪
♪ And Gatsby longed for acceptance ♪
♪ Tom and Huck went and ran all amok ♪
♪ And we've been talking about them ever since ♪
♪ Long after the people are gone ♪
♪ The stories that represent them still last ♪
♪ The written letter helps us know a little better ♪
♪ Our ancestors from the past ♪
♪ And we are no different from they ♪
♪ We've all chosen our own story that will now live on ♪
♪ And summarize our current day ♪
♪ And represent us now forever in the great beyond ♪
♪ Little girl wanted to be famous so bad ♪
♪ So bad♪
♪ 'Cause she had a semi-famous dad ♪
♪ A famous dad♪
♪ 'Cause he was friends with a murderer ♪
♪ Who was on TV ♪
♪ Well, she had no TV murder friends like her pa ♪
♪ But she had one that was in the gossip mags a lot ♪
-♪ Mags a lot♪ -♪ And 'cause her grandfather owned hotels ♪
♪ And had made a lot of money ♪
♪ Well, that friend blew a guy on videotape ♪
♪ And the news talked about it for six weeks straight ♪
♪ And our hero had a plan to get that fame ♪
♪ That she so craved ♪
♪ She got the guy who played the brother on that Moeshashow ♪
♪ And they filmed themselves going hard as they could go ♪
-♪ And ♪ -♪ Hard as they could go♪
♪ We've been paying attention to her for the whole last decade ♪
♪ It was the story of you ♪
♪ It was the story of me ♪
♪ It was the story we choose ♪
♪ To pass down through history ♪
♪ It was the story of us ♪
♪ And of our time here ♪
♪ What we were about ♪
♪ And the heroes we cheered ♪
♪ It was the story of our time ♪
♪ More dense and rich than any script ♪
♪ That Tolstoy ever wrote ♪
♪ The epic would take years to tell ♪
♪ But here are the CliffNotes ♪
♪ It's started when Kim's mom and dad were celebrating ♪
♪ Their anniversary ♪
♪ Kim bought them a stripper pole ♪
♪ And gave it to them at their party ♪
♪ Then Kim and Khloe went to a shoot ♪
♪ For Girls Gone Wild down in Mexico ♪
♪ Down in Mexico♪
♪ Their dad found out and followed them ♪
♪ So he could tell them no ♪
♪ So he could tell them no♪
♪ Then the mom tried to convince Kim to do Playboy♪
-♪ And Khloe got a DUI ♪ -♪ Got a DUI♪
♪ Kourtney had a pregnancy scare and then she started to cry ♪
♪ She started to cry♪
♪ Khloe gives a makeover to a homeless man ♪
♪ Nude photos of Kourtney come out and she cries again ♪
♪ The mom decides to build a chicken coup ♪
♪ Kim goes and does some sort of calendar shoot ♪
♪ The mom real drunk and gets a tattoo ♪
♪ The son wants to model and drop out of school ♪
♪ The dad goes and gets some plastic surgery ♪
♪ Kim goes to Comic-Con for Disaster Movie♪
♪ Khloe marries a basketball guy ♪
♪ Kourtney's boyfriend gets drunk, so again she cries ♪
♪ The mom tries out to be a cheerleader ♪
♪ They meet a family from Hurricane Katrina ♪
♪ They get a Chihuahua and give it back 'cause it's sick ♪
♪ Kourtney and her boyfriend split up 'cause he is a dick ♪
♪ Then they get back together 'cause they have a kid ♪
♪ Kim kisses her bodyguard and can't believe what she did ♪
♪ Khloe loses a ring and then starts to cry ♪
♪ Kim marries a totally different basketball guy ♪
♪ The mom has surgery to get bigger breasts ♪
♪ Kim is shocked to find out she has psoriasis ♪
♪ The dad shows off some new earrings that he got ♪
♪ Khloe thinks that she's pregnant ♪
♪ But it turns out she's not ♪
♪ Oprah comes by the house to interview them ♪
♪ Kourtney and her boyfriend fight ♪
-♪ And she cries again ♪ -♪ She's always crying♪
♪ Khloe thinks that she's adopted ♪
-♪ And does a DNA test ♪ -♪ Poor Kourtney♪
-♪ Then Kim starts to date Kanye West ♪ -♪ Why you crying?♪
♪ Kim gets scared of a spider that she sees on the ceiling ♪
♪ Jimmy Fallon makes a joke that hurts the dad's feelings ♪
♪ Kim gets pregnant and she gets really big ♪
♪ The mom for some reason babysits a pig ♪
♪ The dad tells everyone that now he's a girl ♪
♪ The mom says she feels weird ♪
♪ That now the dad is a girl ♪
♪ Khloe gives basketball guy another chance ♪
♪ Kim gets robbed of her jewelry when she visits France ♪
♪ Kourtney starts to cry again for some reason ♪
♪ And that's basically what happens ♪
♪ In the first 12 seasons ♪
♪ It was the story of you ♪
♪ It was the story of me ♪
♪ We voted with our views ♪
♪ On our phones, tablets and TVs ♪
♪ This was the story of us ♪
♪ As we begin our fall ♪
♪ A family of the times ♪
♪ And the lessons that they taught us all ♪
♪ If you wanna make it in the world today ♪
♪ Sometimes you gotta fuck Moesha's brother ♪
♪ If you wanna make it in the world today ♪
♪ Sometimes you gotta fuck Moesha's brother ♪
♪ If you wanna make it in the world today ♪
♪ Sometimes you gotta fuck Moesha's brother ♪
♪ You'll never make it if you're hung up on dignity ♪
♪ Sometimes you gotta fuck Moesha's brother ♪
♪ You can't expect to just start up at Kanye ♪
♪ Sometimes you gotta fuck Moesha's brother ♪
♪ Point your phone at your ass ♪
♪ And start snapping away ♪
♪ Sometimes you gotta fuck Moesha's brother ♪
♪ Blow your boyfriend and give your mom the videotape ♪
♪ Sometimes you gotta fuck Moesha's brother ♪
♪ Be an icon just for not going away ♪
♪ Sometimes you gotta fuck Moesha's brother ♪
♪ Make your voice heard ♪
♪ Even if you've nothing to say ♪
♪ Sometimes you gotta fuck Moesha's brother ♪
♪ We can change this, but we gotta start looking away, ♪
CANDACE [echoing]: Trevor,,, Trevor,,,
Trevor, what is wrong with you?
Are you not even paying attention?
Sorry, Huh?
What do you want to drink?
-Oh, um, yeah, I'll just have an iced tea, -Iced tea,
[screaming]
SHANCY: Guys,,,
This is my boyfriend,
Oh, my God, he's socute,
Can I actually change that to a tequila?
-Yeah, -Thanks,
-This is Brlayden, -Hey, guys,
Hi, Brayden,
Uh, "Brlayden," With a "luh,"
Ah,
Sorry if I'm sweaty, I just got back from CrossFit,
Oh, Brlayden does CrossFit,
-Oh, I heard about that, -Have you heard about CrossFit?
-I just said I had, Yeah, -Yeah,
me and my CrossFit buddies are doing a mud run
for cyberbullying awareness about cyberbullying,
Brlayden is very conscious about issues,
-Ooh, -Yeah, It's a really good cause,
because a lot of kids are being bullied online cyberly,
and we're gonna run in the mud for them,
SHANCY: Remember, next week starts
Bully Prevention Week, so make sure that everybody
change their profile pics, Did you change your profile pic?
-Obviously, -Okay,
-I mean, duh, -Trevor, are you gonna change your profile pic?
Uh, no, probably not, no,
-Oh, you gotta do it, -Definitely,
-Change your profile pic, -Nah, I just, I,,,
I just don't like to do that,,, kind of stuff,
-What stuff? Good stuff? -Stuff that helps kids
get not bullied,
No, no, no, I just,,, I just,,, you know,
I just don't,,, I don't like to, like,
you know,,, millennial,
-It's justa profile pic, -Yeah, change your pic,
You want to be on the right side of history, bro,
Change your fucking profile pic,
-[stammering] -Change it,
-I-I don't,,, -Change your pic,
-Bro, change the pic, -I don't want to change it,
-Ow, -Change your fucking profile pic!
It's to fight bullying!
♪ I saw a story about a girl ♪
♪ Not even 20 yet ♪
♪ She was bullied by some trolls ♪
♪ Just for being different ♪
♪ And as I read, I wondered how much further ♪
♪ We'd be along ♪
♪ If all society's bullies ♪
♪ Just disappeared and were gone ♪
♪ It's not okay to say that someone ♪
♪ Is different from us all ♪
♪ Assuming we are right and big ♪
♪ And that they are wrong and small ♪
♪ There's no excuse to make this poor girl feel ♪
♪ She's off the plan ♪
♪ Even if she self-identifies as a,,, ♪
Wolf?
♪ Are you fucking kidding me, a goddamn wolf? ♪
♪ That's who the stupid kid thinks she is? ♪
♪ Thank God I kept on reading ♪
♪ Can't believe I almost re-tweeted this ♪
♪ You're not a martyr or a victim ♪
♪ Just an attention whore ♪
♪ Making a mockery of legit ♪
♪ Social movements from before ♪
♪ You're literally crying wolf while kids out there ♪
♪ Are getting disowned for being gay ♪
♪ So don't claim discrimination 'cause you know damn well ♪
♪ It's not the same, in fact, I take back what I said ♪
♪ Who knows where we would be today ♪
♪ Or what other crap ♪
♪ These coddled kids would come up with ♪
♪ If the bullies go away ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Life is an ecosystem, at least that's what they say ♪
♪ You got to think about what happens ♪
♪ When you take one piece away ♪
♪ And when we cracked down on the bullies ♪
♪ Perhaps we just went too far ♪
♪ 'Cause with nothin' but encouragement ♪
♪ These kids don't even know what they are ♪
♪ One thinks that she's a vampire ♪
♪ This one thinks that he's a wolf ♪
♪ This one's got a pony toy ♪
♪ And jerkin' off onto its hooves ♪
♪ This one bought a pillow printed with an anime cartoon ♪
♪ He's bringing it to family functions ♪
♪ Saying that it's his waifu ♪
♪ This one self-identifies as the planet Mercury ♪
♪ She's a genderfluid otherkin who's proud that she's obese ♪
♪ Reality's a trigger word, so we're quickly losing touch ♪
♪ We need some kids to have the balls to say ♪
♪ You all are fucking nuts!
♪ Look, you're not an animal ♪
♪ No matter how you fucking feel ♪
♪ Vampires and werewolves are not even fucking real ♪
♪ Bullies, you need to right the ship ♪
♪ Put us back on proper course, you need to come back ♪
♪ And restore some balance to the Force ♪
♪ That's a Star Warsquote I used ♪
♪ Please make fun of me for that ♪
♪ Say my songs are never funny ♪
♪ And I'm looking old and fat ♪
♪ You've still got it all within you ♪
♪ You just have to believe ♪
♪ So dust yourself off, get on out there ♪
♪ And go give some kids swirlies ♪
♪ Shove 'em in the lockers, give 'em wedgies ♪
♪ You do what you do, haters gonna hate ♪
♪ And for that, we depend on you ♪
♪ Our skin is getting thinner each and every single day ♪
♪ And there'll be nobody left to guide us back if all ♪
♪ The bullies go away ♪
♪ Life's an ecosystem ♪
That's right, bullies,
♪ At least that's what ♪
-♪ They say ♪ -Never stop believing in yourself,
♪ You got to think about ♪
-♪ What happens when ♪ -Don't let anybody
-♪ You take one piece away ♪ -try to change who you are,
-♪ If the bullies go away ♪ -You are necessary,
♪ If the bullies ♪
-♪ Go away ♪ -You matter,
-♪ If the bullies go away ♪ -So the next time
somebody tries to tell you
not to make fun of someone
who's being a total weirdo,
-♪ If the bullies go away ♪ -just think of this song,
[fading]: ♪ Go away, go away, go away,,, ♪
I'm sorry, Are you,,, are you Brlayden?
Guilty,
-We're your biggest fans, Can we please -Yeah,
-get a picture? -Yeah, sure,
-You just gotta tag me in it, -[laughing]
-Mmm, Aah, [laughs] -[clicking]
-Thank you so much, -Yeah, thank you,
-We-we reallylove you, -Ah, I love y'all,
Y'all are so,,, just sexy kids,
-[laughing] -Don't ever grow up, Huh?
Uh, I didn't realize this CrossFit thing was so popular,
Brlayden has his own YouTube channel,
-Oh, -Yeah, we just hit four million subs,
It's mostly I'm critiquing reviews
-of people doing video game walk-throughs, -Mm-hmm,
Oh, so you, like,,, so you, like, review
other people playing video games?
No, Other people do that,
-Yeah, I review the reviews,,, -Mm-hmm,
,,,of the reviews of people playing video games,
I don't get it,
-He's retarded, -Hey, I thought it was
not cool to say that word anymore,
You still can if it's a white man,
That's true, It's so hard with these new algorithms,
You know, a lot of views are being decentralized now,
from Facebook and Twitter and Twitch
and musical,ly, Instagram,
all types of stuff,
[fading, echoing]: Vietnam, Noriega,
-Ali Baba, Aladdin,,, -Yeah,
♪ ♪
♪ Nikola came from Croatia ♪
♪ In 1884 ♪
♪ He got a job for medicine ♪
♪ When he reached the U,S, shore ♪
♪ He invented the radio ♪
♪ Lasers, motors and X-rays ♪
♪ And the electric current ♪
♪ That powers our world today ♪
♪ He dreamed up unlimited energy everyone could have for free ♪
♪ But he passed away ♪
♪ Alone and in debt ♪
♪ So his dreams would never be ♪
♪ Brayden has a YouTube channel called ♪
♪ Statutory Vape ♪
♪ He makes 600 grand a month ♪
♪ And he's only 28 ♪
[drumbeat]
♪ ♪
♪ Life isn't fair ♪
♪ Tesla died penniless, and YouTube stars are ♪
♪ Millionaires ♪
♪ Whoa ♪
♪ Life isn't fair ♪
♪ Makeup tutorials ♪
♪ Instead of energy from the air ♪
♪ Whoa ♪
♪ Nikola made a power plant ♪
♪ That harnessed Niagara Falls ♪
♪ Cammy speeds her voice up fast ♪
♪ Then unwraps things from the mall ♪
♪ Nikola thought up robotics ♪
♪ Before anyone else did ♪
♪ Dylan takes clips other people made ♪
♪ And then shows them to kids ♪
♪ Nikola discovered that the atmosphere ♪
♪ Could help power the whole world ♪
♪ Cobb discovered that you get more views ♪
♪ If your thumbnail's a hot girl ♪
♪ Nikola made flying machines that we still can't recreate ♪
♪ Jake is the most annoying person in the world ♪
♪ But eight-year-olds think that he's great ♪
♪ Nikola found radio signals from planets round the galaxy ♪
♪ Tommy beats up all his kids and says they're Prince ♪
♪ Which I'll admit is fun to see ♪
♪ But still ♪
♪ Life isn't fair ♪
♪ Tesla died penniless ♪
♪ And YouTube stars are millionaires, whoa ♪
♪ God isn't fair ♪
♪ Or else he's blind to injustice ♪
♪ Or just ♪
♪ Doesn't care, whoa ♪
♪ The universe is cold and unfeeling ♪
♪ Our progress-- it doesn't give a damn ♪
♪ If Tesla wanted funds to get his work done ♪
♪ He should have invented the Internet ♪
♪ And the webcam, whoa, oh-oh ♪
♪ Life isn't fair ♪
♪ Tesla died penniless and YouTube stars are millionaires ♪
♪ Whoa, oh-oh ♪
♪ And God isn't fair ♪
♪ And if you like this song please ♪
♪ Press subscribe right there, ♪
-Trevor does Internet videos, too, -What's your highest
-view count? -TREVOR: Um, actually,
you know, have, uh, some that have, like, a couple million,
Yeah, that's, uh,,, You got to start somewhere,
Actually, my biggest view count came from an exposé I did,
Yeah, I found this other YouTuber in middle school,
He left a Facebook comment demeaning women,
Middle school women, so I popped that cherry
on him-- my exposé, Next thing you know, he lost
half his subs, his real job and his channel,
-That's so good, -See, Trevor?
Those are the videos you should be making,
Oh, yeah, right, He actually likes all that sexist stuff,
What? What?
-CANDACE: Well, yeah, you're sexist, -TREVOR: What? Candace,
I'm not sexist, What are you,,, what are you talking about?
-Yes, you are, -What have I done that's sexist?
I mean, you didn't like Hillary,
-[scoffing] -Uh, that,,, that-that's not fair,
CANDACE: I'm telling you, he's one of those,
-like, alt-right troll people, -Uh-uh, -TREVOR: Whoa,
I am,,, I am not alt-right,
I'm not alt-right, How am I alt-right?
Trevor, you didn't like Hamilton,
-[gasping] -What?! -TREVOR: I didn't see it,
-You didn't wantto see it, -I,,,
I don't like musicals, but that doesn't make me alt-right,
I'm not alt-right,
I think that whole alt-right thing is retarded,
-[scoffing] -Oh, my God! You cannot use that word!
-They're-they're white, -I'm actually doing some co-branding
with this new app that, like,
-helps you get involved in stuff, -Mm-hmm,
-What's it called? -Like, Helps You Get Involved in Stuff,
It can do all kinds of magic, Basically
tells you who your congressman is,
calls them, and then gives you,
like, this nice little script to read
so you sound like you know what you're talking about,
-That's amazing, -I'm doing it right now,
-Make a difference, -Wait, What are you doing?
She's calling our congressman 'cause we're sick of this shit,
Okay, it says vote "yes" on prop 594,
-TREVOR: What-what does that do? -That makes it a felony
to be mean to people online,
Well, that's a little insane, isn't it?
What do you mean, insane?
-Insane? -Doesn't this all seem a little crazy? I mean,
doesn't it seem like, at a certain point, we're just
constantly looking for stuff to be upset about?
So you think we should just be okay with how things are?
No, no, no, no, No, Look, I know
that the world has a lot of problems, and-and, you know,,,
and it's good that people want to stop those problems, but,
I mean, it's just every day, I can't,,, I can't be upset
about everything every day, Can't I have outrage fatigue?
BRLAYDEN: Yeah, must be tough for, like,
a white male having to deal with all this stuff,
Look, no, it's-it's not that,
-ALL: It is that, -Okay, maybe it is, I don't know,
I'm just saying, is it a crime
to not take everything seriously?
Yes, dude, We don't even know how long we are here on this
ball of dirt, Sometimes we aren't sure,
And we have some responsibilities
to make good content, to put it out there
and to push the ball forward,
-Everyone has something to say, -What are yougoing to say?
BRLAYDEN: What areyou gonna say?
CANDACE [echoing]: Say something, Trevor?
[upbeat tune playing]
♪ There's a lot of arguing today ♪
♪ No one listens what the others say ♪
♪ Was Jesus or Muhammad right? ♪
♪ No one can agree so everyone just fights ♪
♪ Is this joke offensive, is it fine? ♪
♪ Is the wrong pronoun actually a hate crime? ♪
♪ Who comes into the country and in what amounts? ♪
♪ It's easy to get distracted from what really counts ♪
♪ So shut the fuck up ♪
♪ Just shut the fuck up ♪
♪ There's a meteor coming and it's gonna blow us all up ♪
♪ There's a meteor coming from outer space ♪
♪ And if we don't figure how to get off of this place ♪
♪ It's gonna wipe out the whole human race ♪
♪ And all our evolution was a great big waste ♪
♪ I'm offended at the words you said ♪
♪ Two dudes should never go to bed ♪
♪ The Right is dumb and the Left is smart ♪
♪ You'll go to Hell if God's not in your heart ♪
♪ This bathroom is only for people born girls ♪
♪ There should be no guns left in the world ♪
♪ Health care should be a single-payer plan ♪
♪ We can't let them get a power plant in Iran ♪
♪ Everybody's college should be for free ♪
♪ You're not allowed to vote without an ID ♪
♪ Kaboom! An asteroid fucks our shit up ♪
♪ So everybody please shut the fuck up ♪
♪ Shut the fuck up ♪
♪ There's a meteor coming and it's gonna blow us all up ♪
♪ There's a meteor coming from outer space ♪
♪ And if we don't figure how to get off of this place ♪
♪ It's gonna wipe out the whole human race ♪
♪ And all our evolution was a great big waste ♪
♪ So shut the fuck up, ♪
[whooshing]
♪ So shut the fuck up, ♪
Fuck you,
You're a Nazi,
Eat shit and die!
You need help, dude,
Still working, or are we all done?
No, I'm,,, I'm done,
Great, I'll just leave this right here,
Oh, wait, wait, Hold on,
-Here, -Oh,
-Here you go, -Oh, um, it's a chip,
so you just stick it right in there, We use the chip,
-You serious? -Yeah, you just stick it right in there,
You know what?
I got one more,
[gentle melody plays on guitar]
♪ We don't have a lot of time in this place ♪
♪ A couple rotations as we're spinning through space ♪
♪ Life is short ♪
♪ That's the blessing and curse ♪
♪ But when you're gone, did you leave it better or worse? ♪
♪ Through your love or your ideas or your work or your art ♪
♪ Every single one of us does play a part ♪
♪ But there's only one for whom this song I sing ♪
♪ And it's the guy who invented ♪
♪ Those credit card chip reader things ♪
♪ Fuck you and your family ♪
♪ You fucking son of a bitch ♪
♪ Eat shit and die ♪
♪ We were doing fine with those old credit cards ♪
♪ Then you invented this shit ♪
♪ Please tell us why ♪
♪ What was wrong with swiping? ♪
♪ I really want to know ♪
♪ What was wrong with swiping? ♪
♪ And I don't wanna hear ♪
♪ Well, it actually makes it harder to steal your number ♪
♪ And it keeps you more secure from a cyber attack ♪
♪ Well, guess what, they're gonna figure out ♪
♪ How to hack this shit, too, and who cares? ♪
♪ Nowadays the credit cards companies ♪
♪ Just fucking pay you back ♪
♪ Something that used to just take seconds ♪
♪ Now easily takes a minute and a half ♪
♪ Multiply that by four transactions a day ♪
♪ That's six whole minutes that we won't get back ♪
♪ 180 minutes a month ♪
♪ Or 2,772 hours over the average lifetime ♪
♪ So you've sentenced each and every one of us ♪
♪ To 115 days in the fucking Whole Foods line ♪
♪ What was wrong with swiping? ♪
♪ I'm trying to understand ♪
♪ What was wrong with swiping? ♪
♪ Maybe you hate your kids ♪
♪ Maybe you hate your wife ♪
♪ Maybe you feel that when you're at home ♪
♪ That it's strangling out your life ♪
♪ Maybe you make up reasons you have to run out to the store ♪
♪ Maybe when you're done shopping ♪
♪ You just want to stay some more ♪
♪ And as you're moving up in line ♪
♪ Getting closer to the cashier ♪
♪ Maybe the life you've made and must return to ♪
♪ Floods your mind with fear ♪
♪ Maybe you'd even sell your soul ♪
♪ For just an extra few minutes ♪
♪ 'Cause that's the only reason ♪
♪ I can think of you'd invent this stupid shit ♪
♪ Fuck you and your family ♪
♪ I hope you die in front of your kids ♪
♪ And as the light of life leaves your eyes ♪
♪ You realize just what you did ♪
♪ 'Cause of your stupid way to buy ♪
♪ I really wanna watch you pay ♪
♪ 'Cause all you did with your time here ♪
♪ Is go and take our time away ♪
♪ What was wrong with swiping? ♪
♪ Fuck you and your family ♪
♪ You fucking son of a bitch ♪
♪ Eat shit and die ♪
♪ We were doing fine with those old credit cards ♪
♪ Then you invented this shit ♪
♪ Please tell me why, ♪
Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access,wgbh,org
[panting]
I think I need to ask you to leave,
Yeah, uh, I get that,
Sorry,
Um, is okay if I stay here for a minute
-while I call an Uber, though? -No,