Grab a plastic bag,
Horace was Mandy's first love,
They met at her cousin's housewarming,
After going out for a month,
they moved into a flat in Wanchai,
This is so heavy,
I do this every day and you change so often,
The clothes are dirty after a soccer game, Smell this,
Are you crazy?
Stop nagging, I used to carry both,
I promise I won't change so often,
I'll always wear the same shirt, OK?
Why not die in it, moron!
I always listen to you,,,
That year, Mandy was 21,
9 months later, she met her second boyfriend,
Ken was a driving instructor,
If it's not a big load,
take it to the cleaners,
I don't want to,
When can we eat? I'm starving,
Soon, Don't rush me,
You said that an hour ago,
Ken,,,
Let's cook at your place tomorrow,
I'd rather eat out,
Miss, if you feel pain right here,
it means your spleen is weak,
Your boyfriend is healthier,
There's not a beep from him,
Hey,,,
Jimmy,,,
Wake up!
According to the coroner's autopsy,
Jimmy's death was undetermined,
That means "cause of death unknown,"
Fuck! If she's not a Black Widow,
I don't know who else qualifies,
It was an accident,
Eunuch and I get massages too,
but I'm not dead,
With or without happy ending?
Without!
His official cause of death was undetermined,
But the thing is,,,
your friend was with 3 different guys,
All 3 ended up dead!
You know what that proves?
The mortality for her boyfriends
is 100%,
His new boyfriend will die for sure,
If you still won't tell him, I rest my case,
Of course I won't,
He will leave her for sure,
You stay out of this,
He has the right to choose,
If he still wants her after knowing
and loves her just the same, so be it,
Why be so honest?
He will leave her for sure,
Show me the picture,
This one,
How do you know?
Is that her?
Yes,
What's wrong?
Your friend Mandy is a real jinx,
I feel dizzy just looking at her picture,
Are you all right?
You feel sick?
Can I be excused from doing the dishes?
You do that all the time,
- Asshole! - I'm not finished,
I want ice cream,
Please fetch me some ice cream,
Go eat shit!
I want you to listen to this,
What?
You know what that means?
What?
It means you need to trade in your iPhone 3,
I meant the sound,
It's the crackle of firewood in my fireplace,
I recorded it to remind me
life is all about the fireplace,
I was in Beijing for 4 years,
I own a house of
400 square meters,
400 square meters?
Times 10, that's 4,000 square feet,
There's a huge fireplace inside,
Every night, I sit in front of it with family
and listen to the crackle of firewood,
You know what that is?
La dolce vita!
I prefer a massage,
I recorded this to remind me
why I went to Beijing despite the hard work,
It's for,,,
this crackle,
I can use,,,
some of that crackle,
That's all you've got,
A life like that in advertising? No way!
But it's possible in Beijing,
We had our differences at O&M,
but that's water under the bridge,
You can't be holding a grudge!
Unless I shagged your chick,
Think about it,
Way better than working for a gweilo,
Think about it,
Do we order another drink?
Did he go to school in Europe, Sis?
No, why?
No?
He's obviously in a different time zone,
Let's order,
- Don't wait, - Great!
No, let's wait,
But their soup will be sold out soon,
Excuse me,,,
Captain,
I'm home, Baby,
Shit!
I'm sorry, I was so busy I forgot,
I'll make it up to your Mom some day,
Who did Chelsea play tonight?
What?
Who played Chelsea tonight?
Burnley,
What was the score?
Are you deaf or you have amnesia?
What's the score?
1,1
See?
You'll remember what you want to remember
and forget what you don't,
No,
I really had a meeting,
My ex-boss called me suddenly,
Mom decided today is her birthday over 50 years ago,
It's OK if you had to work,
At least send me an SMS,
I could tell her you're sick,
Just don't pull a no-show,
Mom kept asking
if it's because you're too young,
I had to lie and tell her
you're very mature for your age,
I had to lie for you!
I'm sorry!
Don't say it unless you mean it,
I am, absolutely, positively,,,
My ex-boss called,
He wanted me to work for him in Beijing,
Oh!
"Oh"? What does that mean?
"Oh" is "oh," What else?
He's asking you to go to Beijing,
All you could say was "oh"?
He didn't ask me,
Someone asked him,
You're living together,
If he takes off, what does that mean?
I'm not his wife, I can't tag along,
Keep following him and you will be,
You didn't know him in the alley either,
but you shagged him after a few smokes,
Exactly! Just follow him,
Quit your job and follow him to Beijing!
He didn't ask me,
Then make him marry you,
Men tend to
drag their feet but not their penis,
That's sick!
Where are you?
On a bus? I said take a mini-bus,
Get a taxi! Call me when you get here,
Brenda does that every time,
She's hopeless,
- Hey,,, yours? - Yes,
Are the chicken wings done?
Yeah, take this,
It's hot!
What are you doing?
I'm taking that to the client,
Be right back,
I thought he's spending time with you,
What's with you and Patty?
I see trouble coming, I better go,
What now?
What is it?
It's OK if you had to work,
just tell me,
I wouldn't have made them switch venues,
Shek O is no different from Big Wave Bay,
They both have a beach and food,
But we wanted to go there,
We agreed,,, don't you get it?
I can't help it if the client had to re-schedule,
I know work is important,
but this is our quality time together,
I'm not here to serve your client,
I made those chicken wings for you,
not your client, Don't you get it?
I do,,,
I'll serve you after I serve the client,
OK?
No, that's not what I mean,
Then what do you mean?
What's with you?
Who's paying our rent?
Who's putting gas in the car?
C'est la vie, What can I do?
I don't want to fight, OK?
"I've gone back to Mom's"
"Eight new messages,"
Auntie!
Happy birthday! Sorry about last time,
You're so late,
For this year or next?
Did you walk Afterwards?
Roger! Afterwards, let's go poo-poo,
Come on,,,
Afterwards has been with Cherie for years,
She brought nothing when she lived with the other guy,
And you? She knows you don't like dogs,
So she dared not take him with her,
Maybe you should come back some other time,
Come back later,
I should go, goodnight,
Goodbye,
Next stop, airport,
Passengers for Terminals 1 and 2,
please exit on the right,
Wait,
Hello?
It's me,
What?
I'm leaving,
Oh,
Beijing is very dry, Eat pears
and drink water with honey,
Before you go to bed, put a wet towel on the chair
to keep the humidity,
C)k-
Your things are packed,
Pick them up when you have time,
I'm still paying the rent,
If you want to live there,,,
feel free to do so,
No thanks, I'll stay with Mom,
It's almost time,
You're at the airport?
I can't talk, The dog needs to poo-poo,
Right, bye!
Bye!
Have you heard of the saying?
When someone is 32 years old
and still flies coach on a business trip,
he's a loser,
You know that too?
We were booked for business,
why did you ask for coach?
Some dude who works for an airline
posted some tips on the web,
If a stewardess is molested in the cabin,
there are procedures to follow,
The first of fence only gets a warning,,,
For the second of fence,
she needs another passenger's testimony
before she can report to her supervisor,
As for the third of fence,
she must tell the captain first
before she can press charges,
I was so pissed when I saw that!
Pissed? Why?
That means each time we were on a plane
we wasted 2 chances to touch the stewardess,
What's wrong with you?
Your're safe for the first 2 of fences,
Be my guest!
After you, pal!
Don't be stupid!
What do you want, sir?
What?
Hey!
What?
You pinched her behind!
I did not!
No? I saw you,
Tell the captain a crew member was molested,
What? You're reporting me?
You can speak Cantonese,
Shit! He's from Hong Kong, what a disgrace!
It's him,
Please come with us, sir,
You said the first 2 times were safe,
Serve you right for eavesdropping!
What?
Nothing! He said he deserved it,
- Did you call the driver? - Call him now,,,
I forgot to ask your name,
Jimmy,
Jamie?
Jimmy, Jimmy as in Jimmy Stewart,
I see, The company may need your testimony,
Can I have your phone number?
Sure!
I'll give you my cell number,
You took the bait voluntarily!
- Call me if you need anything, - Sure,
You are,,,
You-you,
Then“,
I'll call you,
Yoyo?
No, You-you,
Take a closer look!
Bye!
Thank you very much,
You're welcome,
I have a feeling you've hit it off,
I have a feeling it's none of your business,
Let's quit after this one,
What happens in the house?
They're outside,
What happens outside?
They're all dead,
What about the father?
Dead,
What? And the dog?
Dead, all fucking dead,
No way! What about the girl?
She's outside,
Then what happens?
Outside,,,
there are dead bodies everywhere,,,
Then what?
Then the sickening stench of the dead,,,
It stinks, Are you crazy?
Don't you know,,,
Did you eat shit?
It's the latest 4D movie with smell,
You're sick,
Why are you so scared?
I'm not watching this, Turn it off,
Eat more greens
- for your system, - What?
I don't get it! What's so great about this junk food?
Childhood memories,
You ate garbage as a kid?
Me?
I was the "Braemar Hill Gourmet,"
I got to choose any chick from any school,
Give me a break!
It's true, I'll show you the pictures,
Don't you keep pictures?
I promised my first boyfriend I wouldn't,
Didn't want to affect his career,
What's the big deal?
I promised Ekin I wouldn't tell anyone,
Ekin Cheng?
You didn't hear it from me,
You're so full of it,
Why not Brad Pitt?
When I was in high school,
I went to a TV commercial audition with a friend,
As I walked down a very long corridor,
Ekin saw me,
He rushed over and gave me his pager number,
I was still very young then, I was stunned, didn't know how to react,
From then on, every day after school
I'd meet him in Kowloon Tong,,,
Oh,,,
What?
Last time, you said you never went to a love motel,
You can be so cheap,
What?
There's more to do there than a roll in a sack,
What else is there?
The canteen of a TV studio,
He was shooting a period drama,
It was so tough,,,
He had to wear a wig,
His hair was long, He had no time for a haircut,
He vowed to shave his head after filming,
Of course I stopped him,
I told him,,,
he's the most handsome and
the sexiest long-hair man in the world,
Then he got the lead in Young and Dangerous,
I should get some credit for that,
You're so full of it!
Ekin was really sweet,
He used to write me love letters,
I remember this one,,,
When we fell in love,
we didn't know it would be a disaster,
Only now do I know it was wrong,
We were so crazy, We were so enthralled,,,
Our love was so earth-fucking,,,
- You must be out of your mind! - What?
That song was written much later,
- No, that's what he wrote me, - Chan Kwong-wing wrote it,
That's what he wrote,
Not when you were still at school,
That's really what he wrote,
Did he call?
I'm sure he's found another girl,
Men get horny once they cross the border,
Not all of them are like that,
Well, but he's one of Eunuch's friends,
That's all I have to say,
(in Korean) Hello, I love you,
I'm Korean, but I speak some Chinese,
Not very fluent,
Really?
Your Chinese is good for a Korean,
You know what I'm saying?
Good! You all picked a dish, Let's go,
Let's grab a bite,
Again? We just finished eating,
Let's go,
Now you know why we must come here,
I honestly don't know,
Just like going to Tsui Wah,,,
after Ian Kwai Fong,
After a few drinks in the dark, things can be risky,
We come in here for a better look,
Thanks to the light,
we know her face is so busy,
Like the Sichuan dish, "ants on a tree,"
What are you saying? Speak Mandarin!
Nothing, He said you're pretty,
- Really? - The best,
What would you like?
Order something,
Waiter!
What would you like?
You have "ants on a tree"?
Yes,
What is it?
It's so damn dry,,,
in Beijing,,,
- Eat some pears, - Does it help?
I eat one every day,
"You-you: I wish to repay you"
"Jimmy: Any man,,,"
"would have done that"
Ask Peter to go to the club tonight,
Nice to work up a sweat,
You bet,
I'll count you in,
Are you coming?
You-you
"I'll repay you in Bed, Game?"
Over here,
Hi,
What do you think? Isn't it cool?
Not bad!
Not bad? It's cool,
Want something to drink?
Whatever,,, a beer,
Get him a beer,
Right away,
Few people are into that these days,
But I like it,
It's not as phooey as digital,
Each picture is different,
The defects make them real,
Then you're not too real,
My mom says sweet talkers can't be trusted,
Except me,
What are you doing in Beijing?
For work,
I know, but why Beijing?
I'm in advertising,
People in this business look ahead
and know about things about to happen,
When others are here, we're already there,
We operate faster,
Your beer, sir,
Thanks, How much?
' $50, ' $50?
- Thanks, - Please enjoy,
You're certainly looking ahead,
I'm hungry, want something to eat?
You're late!
What's going on?
Did you get my SMS?
What SMS?
Olivia asked everyone,,,
about her contribution
and started to lay people off,
Dora has till the end of the month,
My SMS told you to start thinking,
- Olivia! - Sit down!
Hong long have you been with us?
3 years next month,
What's your contribution to the company?
It's hard to say,
Give it a try,
I've worked for many companies,
The bosses always told us to work on our looks
but never our eating habits,
The junk we eat at lunch and tea time
are always the greasiest stuff,
They give us cold sores too huge
for powder to hide,
How can we sell to the customers, right?
For me, the crucial thing for a cosmetics company
is the take-out manual,
I categorized everything,,,
The first pages are low fat,,,
What's "Olivia's Choice"?
Restaurants to call when you're buying,
How is that different from "Cherie's Choice"?
"Olivia's Choice" is expensive but delicious,
"Cherie's Choice" is cheaper but just a good,
When you're buying, we order the expensive stuff,
I'll hand over everything before I leave,
Take this,
Just ask someone to update it,
Why do you think I'm firing you?
My nickname is the Queen of Loafers,
I got a call from the Head Office last week,
They're pulling out of Hong Kong,
Closing all the shops?
I'll be transferred to Shanghai next month,
They want me to bring someone reliable
and help train our colleagues in Beijing,
Are you worried about the dry weather?
Me? But I'm the Queen of Loafers,
That's what I like about you,
You won't compete with me,
If I bring someone aggressive to Beijing,
she'll eventually go after my job,
There you go!
Thanks,
Looks good,
Try it,
Not so much, The spiciness is delayed,
It's OK,
Good?
Very good,
Can you get me a jar?
Yes, in exchange for what?
I can,,,
Are you OK?
Drink some water,
I told you it kicked in later,
Well?
Let me see your tongue,
It's red,
Spicy?
Better now?
How about this?
"Welcome, Cherie Yu"
He's here too, What if you run into him?
You have nothing better to say?
If you see him again,
what will you say?
I'll yell at him,
You're all talk,
He's behind you,
That's enough,
He's coming over,
Stop it!
He's really behind you,
Stop it, you're pissing me off,
Hi! What a coincidence,
Sure is,
Hi!
Long time no see,
You're here for business or pleasure?
We closed all our shops in Hong Kong,
Isabel and I were transferred to Beijing,
The noodles are ready,
Let me introduce you, You-you
Isabel, Cherie,,,
Hello, Miss Cherie,
Hello,
Care to join us? We can get 2 extra chairs,
No thanks, we're with other colleagues,
Right! We should get going,
I better go in,
Did you hear that bitch, Miss Cherie?
What gives? Let's go,
Come on, you knew this would happen,
You're bound to bump into each other,
We're destined to fall for a scum or two,
You know that girl well?
We're just friends,
What do you think of her?
What?
Am I any different,,,
from that girl?
It's not nice to say,,,
Let's go get a massage,
I wonder if No, 88 is working today,
With her bigger boops,
she's better, right?
Don't worry, you can be frank,
Honestly, she's a tad better,
That's true, Go on,,,
Don't worry, you can be frank,
Men like women they can't handle,
You're,,, too easy,
That's true too! What else?
All men will be attracted to her cleavage,
But in 8 to 10 years, her boops will sag,
You're probably better to look at,
I don't agree,
Her boops may sag, but not her youth,
Even in 10 years, they won't sag much,
Let's forget her figure and look at your face,
You can turn the tables on her in 10 years,
How do you figure that?
A woman undergoes drastic changes from 20 to 30,
Imagine a miss becoming an auntie,
that's scary,
But you don't have to worry,
You're already an auntie,
Let's find out if No, 88 is working today,
I thought you're here to visit me,
Yes, that's why we're here,
Hurry, the market will open soon,
What a torture! Today is Sunday!
Auntie!
You're late!
What's going on?
Blind date!
My aunt lives here, I asked for her help,
Is this a joke? I'm going back to bed,
What for? Come on!
You can't sleep alone forever,
Heads up! Or they'll think,,,
you're being rude,
Let's go,
I really don't need this,
Just take a look,
I was here before, it's OK,
Plenty of guys around,
It's usually the parents with the sign,
If you see something you like,
speak to them and arrange for a meet,
This one is not bad!
30$, a proper job and looks like Tony Leung
Then I must look like Carina La,,,
ls your daughter from Beijing?
No, my nieces are from Hong Kong,
I don't want my son to go to Hong Kong,
She's working in Beijing,
a store manager for Sephora
and makes good money,
She lives in CBD, What about your son?
Let's look again,,,
Let me go back to bed,
Wait,,,
we have a house in Dongzhimen,
and one in the western district,
They can live in either in the future,
What about mortgage?
It's paid off,
We can decide after they meet,
Are you crazy? Spare me,
Why not? You need a new life,
If you wait, all the men will be taken,
Your skin is not thick enough,
According to your mom, you should look like,,,
Tony Leung,
She only meant
mY height,
I told him we wouldn't have kids after we got married,
This is driving me crazy!
No kids? Why not?
Too much trouble,
Don't you like kids?
Here, touch this,,,
That's dirty,
I haven't matured since high school,
Asking a kid to look after a kid
is a very cruel thing to do,
Will it clog the toilet?
"Jimmy: Looking for me?"
"Cherie: No, Why?"
"Jimmy: Got an empty message from you,"
"Cherie: Must have pressed the wrong button, What's up?"
"Jimmy: Where are you?"
"Jimmy: Late snack?"
"Cherie: Sleepy, just got out of the shower,"
"Jimmy: Be there in 20 min,"
I have to go,
Something came up at work,
I want you to miss me,
Alright, I'll call you,
Have you been waiting long?
No, I just got here,
Can I have the menu?
- Please wait,,, - Thank you,
What?
Nothing, Order something,
What would you like?
I want,,,
How long have you been here?
6 months,
Getting used to it?
Not really, it's too dry,
What about the food?
Too SPi¢Y-
I agree, too greasy as well,
No, you're doing fine, You have a good appetite,
The food must be good for you,
What now?
Nothing,
I'm going back to Hong Kong next week,
Want an iPad?
Yes! One each for me and Isabel,
I'll pay you tomorrow,
I have to go,
I have to go home,
You,,,
No night cap?
Dinner was only $270, Mr Jimmy,
That's a bargain for you already,
- Bye, - Bye,
Hold on,,,
Mr Jimmy, next time you sneak out,
please wipe your mouth first, Bye!
You can go,
My aunt said this was a good catch,
Leave me alone,
His dad said he looked like Huang Xiaoming,
Stop it,
His mom won't let him go to Hong Kong,
That's why I'm handing him to you,
No, you can have him back,
They want someone in Beijing,
Just pretend you're me,
What now?
Shall I redo the brows?
No!
The lips?
Perfect!
You didn't even look!
Perfect!
Thanks to you, we had spicy food last night,
Now I have zits,
You should talk,
You suggested fish in chili oil in the first place,
Now it's giving me stomach trouble,
Where are you going?
I'm in pain,
I need to use the bathroom,
Keep an eye on my things,
No, he's coming,
You're now Cherie looking for moisturization,
Just sit there and wait,
That's all,
No, stay with me,
You want to meet your future hubby for the first time
and have someone shit in her pants next to you?
Miss Cherie?
Yes!
Sit,
Hello, Mr Cheng,
Mr Cheng is so formal,
Please call me Ben,
Shit!
Is anyone there?
Ben, I think you're,,,
I know what you mean,
Everyone says I look like
that actor,
But I don't think so,
Is anyone out there?
Anyone?
Do you need help, Miss?
I can't open the door, Can you get help?
Hold on, I'll get the waiter,
Thanks,
Why do you need to go on a blind date?
My parents are very strict,
Mom says I'm a blockhead,
Very stupid,
They won't let me date anyone
because I'll be taken in,
They sent me to a boys' boarding school in Scotland,
and I started working afterwards,
I never dated anyone,
Actually,,, e neither,
No way!
Guys would love you!
Can you ask them to hurry?
I really need to poo,
Why not do your business first?
I can't! I dropped my phone into the toilet,
If I go now, the phone is finished,
When I meet a girl,
I get nervous,
I couldn't even shake your hand just now,
If we get married,
I'll stay home with you after work,
We won't be going out much, will that be a problem?
I can live with that,
Your accent tells me you're from Hong Kong,
You don't have the Beijing accent either,
I was from Kuala Lumpur,
But I've been here for over 20 years,
One other thing,,,
I don't have a residential license in Beijing,
Me neither!
Really?
What a coincidence,
It's fate,
They're here, stand back,
Are you OK, Miss?
I need to use the bathroom,
Miss Cherie,,,
Can I,,,
hold your hand?
Shall we,,,
go somewhere less crowded?
I'll get the check,
Thanks,
Don't mention it,
My friend is gone!
Where was the customer,,,
who was sitting here?
She left with a man,
What? They just met!
Damn!
What now?
I have no money,
I left everything with her,
Still couldn't find her?
Do you know where I can fix the phone?
If you trust me,
take out the SIM card, I'll get it fixed
and return it later,
I'm counting on you,
No problem!
What?
Did you pick this up with your hand?
Yes,
If I ask you to touch it again,
it won't make much difference, right?
- Thanks, - Don't mention it,
As store manager, you must look fierce,
Shouting feels good,
You have a customer,
I'm the manager,
I don't mean work, I mean food,
Hi, remember me?
Yes! Are you passing by?
No, this is for you,
This is a new phone,
I transferred all,,,
your pics and messages,
Thanks,
You're welcome,
How much do I owe you?
Forget it,
How should I repay you?
Spread you legs,
Go to Hell!
How about I buy you dinner?
I can't today, maybe tomorrow?
What would you like?
I'll pick you up tomorrow at 5,
Great! See you tomorrow,
- Bye! - Bye!
He's the guy from the toilet?
Spread my legs? Fuck you!
At least say it in Cantonese, He could hear you,
Don't you want to?
Want your ass!
He's OK,
You can have him,
You need moisturization,
Take him home to exorcise the evil spirit,
What's so funny?
I didn't expect you'd bring me here,
You said you'd eat anything good,
But since I'm the best,,,
chef myself,,,
I thought you meant you're the best,
What?
I said,,, it's comfortable out here,
I went to school here,
Electrical Engineering,,,
I used to come here after graduation,
Damn!
Bird Shit,
Don't move,,, let me,
When did I get this?
My hand went inside the toilet,
This is nothing,
By the way, why did you pick it up for me?
Because I didn't want you to,
A girl shouldn't have to do everything herself,
What else can I do?
Let someone else do it,
Let me help you,
You're very nice, thank you,
I'm only nice to people I like,
I'm here,,, I don't see you,
I said, I'm in,
You must be kidding!
Is this a joke?
I don't know where she lives,
This table,,, is it better?
Feels like it,
I'll pay you in RMB,
Forget it, just buy me dinner,
OK,
I'm only buying dinner,
What else?
What? Checking in?
How long have you switched it?
What?
The phone,
For a while,
You know deleted files,,,
can be recovered?
I know,
Did you delete it?
Delete what?
Did you delete it? Quit your act!
I don't know what you mean,
Is it deleted?
Yes,
But I backed it up on my notebook,
What? You promised you'd delete it,
When I miss you,
I can,,,
Where's your notebook?
At home,
I don't care, I must see you delete it,
How?
There's a positive side to this,,,
How positive is that?
At least you deleted the clip,
Wow, thank you very much,
Are you seeing someone?
You're asking me? What about you?
I'm asking the question,
Yes,
Who?
A QUY-
Come on,,,
You have someone, why can't I?
You've only been here for 6 months,
How long will it take
before you can live with it?
Why did you leave me?
Need you even ask? Didn't you know?
Look, I wanted to spend time with you,
but I had to work,
I wasn't the boss, I couldn't re-schedule,
Yet I didn't want to miss the BBQ with your friends,
Remember,,,
the week after Princess' birthday?
You said you had a presentation the next day,
so you had to work late,
But my friends saw you
with another woman,
Stop pretending,
We're no longer together,
My friend took a picture,
What woman?
Your ex, Vivian,
Remember now?
I didn't tell you as it would piss you off,
You could have told me if you had had nothing to hide,
She broke up with her boyfriend and wanted to talk,
It was nothing,
You gave me a lecture about Mandy,
You said honesty was important,
If it's nothing, why didn't you tell me that?
Even if nothing happened that night,
you obviously expected it to,
Or else why didn't you tell me about it?
Keeping your options open, right?
Don't be ridiculous!
Why is your nose bleeding?
It happens all the time,,, so damn dry,
It's my fault,
I'm too hot,
Shut up already!
Give me your hand,
What for?
Count for a minute,
How? In my heart?
Yes,
What?
I miss you,
Forget it!
What?
Get lost! What is it?
What's wrong with missing you?
It stopped,
It worked! How come?
Which acupuncture point did you press?
The key to this meeting,,,
is our attitude,
I'm going to make him,,,
an offer he can't refuse,
What?
That's so cool,
I learnt that from The Godfather,
I'm sorry
you had to sit in on this meeting,
Work must come first,
Let's double check the contract details,
"Go to Hell! Free this Sunday?"
I don't understand,
We should sleep in on a Sunday,
Why get up so early to paddle this shit?
Even infidelity is about mood,
Can't always roll in the sack,
This is not crowded, I like it,
Trysts often take place in hotel bars in old movies,
Hey! What did you say about hotel bars?
My boyfriend brought me there,
To do what?
Talk,
Talk?
- Yes, - What's there to talk about?
What's with you?
You mean your "earth fucking" loverboy?
You're jealous I dated Ekin?
I ran into him,,,
after you told me that story,
Are you serious?
It was so fucking embarassing,,,
Don't tell me you asked him,
- Hello, Ekin, - Hello!
Jimmy from Account Servicing,
Hello,
Your take-out is here,
Are we in a hurry? I can do make-up while I eat,
- Not really, the client is not ready, - Is that so?
Go ahead and eat,
I don't mind,
Have you eaten? I ordered extra,
Curry beef brisket, interested?
This is good!
Seriously, I've been a fan
since your lemon tea commercial,
That long ago?
Yes, I know all your songs,
But that was a long time ago,
Sure is,,,
You had short hair then;
why grew it out?
I spent 3 months shooting a period drama,
When I took off the wig, my hair was very long,
A friend said I looked good with long hair, so,,,
A good friend?
Yes, she was quite an influence,,,
You said you liked my songs,
Sing one for me,
I know them all,
Which one exactly?
Earth-shaking love!
We were so crazy, We were so enthralled,
Sorry!
Some songs do,,,
bring back memories,
Mind if I ask you a question?
Ask away,
Back then in Kowloon City
all the girls were crazy about you,
In that neighborhood,,,
you must have had a lot of girls?
I mean,,, you must have known a lot them?
Which was your favorite school?
Holy Family Canossian College?
Pink shirt with a grey skirt,
Excuse me, Ekin,
The director wants to go over that jump,
I'll be right there,
Sorry about that,
It's OK, you touched it first,
We were so crazy, We were so enthralled,
Our love was so earth shaking,
Damn! Don't rub it in!
I was waiting for the elevator but I forgot my phone,
When I got back in I heard the phone ringing,
That means you're still at home,
10 minutes tops,
I'll order when you get here,
GK, bye!
Baby!
Weren't you supposed to be in Bali?
I was, but something's wrong with the Bali airport,
So I decided to keep you company,
I'm coming,,, go inside,
You're going out?
I was about to grab something to eat,
Almost here?
- What? - Food is ready,
I'll be right out,
Sorry, the person you have called cannot connect right now,
You're connected to voice mail,
Are you done?
Almost,
You didn't need to bring it over, it's so far away,
It's OK, I haven't been here before,
I'm bringing you food to show my support,
Are you rooting for me or checking up on me?
There are no pretty girls in electrical engineering,
What about your ex-wife?
She studied foreign languages,
When did you divorce?
6 or 7 years ago,
You haven't dated since?
Once bitten,
twice shy,
I'm scared of wasting my time,
I'm 44 and I want a home
with a wife and kids, maybe even a dog,
However busy I am, I'll find time for my family,
Before I met you,
I'd given up,,,
the hope of having a family,
But you,,, make me feel hopeful again,
You should go back to Hong Kong,
Why?
Paul and I are fine,
He's right, life is short,
This is the time to work hard,
I don't mean that,
Then what?
You're picking the same car, the same woman,
Why don't you just go back?
One gets sentimental sometimes,,,
You won't understand; you're fickle,,,
What don't I understand?
I'm not a user like you,
You're a consumer,
Do you even know what I'm talking about?
What?
Let's get this straight, I'm talking about the car,
So am I,
What a coincidence!
Really,,,
Buy it, You've already made up your mind,
Let's go,
I'm goil"I9-
This way,
I choose to go my way,
What's with you?
What?
What are you thinking? I think you're,,,
None of your fucking business,
Fuck! What a waste of time!
Pink nipples are rare,
You don't know a fucking thing!
Have you been here long?
A while,
What did you tell her?
About what?
Why you're going away,
I said it's team building,
What if she calls Eunuch?
I told him not to answer the phone,
What do you think?
Better than Viva Villa Love Motel,
This is so unlike you, big spender,
Actually,,,
I was here on a shoot and the owner gave me a coupon,
You're so cheap,
You're such a cheapskate,
Isitready?
Almost,
Hurry UP!
Close your eyes,
Why should I?
Well?
You bought this in Beijing?
My colleague brought it from Hong Kong,
on ice and hand-carried,
What a pain!
Is this sweet or what?
It's OK,
- Can I ask you a question? - What?
Now don't get mad, Just answer me honestly,
What?
When did you decide to cheat on me?
Fuck you! How many times did I tell you?
I didn't cheat on you,
Hey, you and that uncle,,,
Enough! You and I had split up by then,
Besides, his name is Sam,
Forget it!
What do you see in this uncle?
I don't know,,,
Maybe from the get-go,
I wanted someone completely different from you,
Meaning?
Someone who can give me a sense of security,
I asked him when he fell in love with me,
He said when he was driving me home one night,
We saw someone washing their car,
What are they doing?
Washing their car,
No way! At this hour?
It's cheaper,
No way! Have you seen CSI?
CSI,
Obviously,,,
they're destroying evidence,
Getting rid of blood stains or DNA,
I don't think so,
I'm sure! When someone gets suspicious,
they'll say they're washing the car,
Because of that he fell in love with me,
He said I was very different from his past,
I couldn't stop crying when I heard that,
But he didn't get it, He thought I was moved,
You know why I cried?
I was looking for a guy different from you,
only to realize I've become exactly like you,
It was really scary,
I didn't realize the influence you had on me,
I tried so hard to quit Jimmy,
But in the end,,,
I became another Jimmy,
Hey,,,
What?
Let's take a bath together,
I'm being serious,
Can't you get your mind out of the gutter?
What?
Taking a bath is warm and romantic,
You're always thinking about that!
Why are you fixated at my body?
Stop it! That's enough!
Show me some respect,
- Don't take it out on my body! - You're out of your mind!
- I have feelings too, - Shut the fuck up!
I have a soul too, I need to be loved,
This is crazy! You do this every time,,,
Are you taking a bath? The water is getting cold,
What is it?
She crashed her car,
Is she OK?
She hit a lamp post and sprained her wrist,
She just left the hospital and is at home now,
I'm sorry,
Please don't go,
I must check on her,
But you promised to stay with me,
I'll come back as soon as I can,
I'll come right back if she's OK,
Once you're gone, you won't come back,
She just had an accident,
She's not dead!
She's home with a sprained wrist,
I have to go see her,
Of course,,,
After all, she's your girlfriend, Mr Jimmy,
I'll hurry,
I don't know why I've been perturbed lately,
Since when?
Since I met Miss Cherie at the restaurant,
I'm not sure if you have noticed,
I've been texting you more often,
I didn't want to bother you at work before,
But lately, I've found myself texting you
and waiting for you to text back,
Traffic wasn't heavy just now,
but I was anxiously checking my phone,
When I dropped it in the car,
I knew I shouldn't pick it up,
but I didn't want to miss your SMS,
So I reached for it anyway
and I crashed my car,
Please don't go,
You're connected to voice-mail,
Please leave a message after the beep,
Don't bother to come back, I'm leaving,
Perhaps you never intended to come back,
because you already made a choice,
I confess I can't get over you,
I often ask myself what you've done for me,
I can't think of a single thing,
Yes, I love you,
I love you so much,
But it scares me,
You said we needn't do everything in one night,
But I'm telling you, if you don't do it,
you may never get a chance to do it again,
Jimmy,
please let me go,
Don't call me again, Just leave me alone,
I love you, but so what?
It's not working,
I understand,,, I really do,
We can't force it,
Let's end it right here,
OK?
The day I ran into you,
I told myself,,,
Press 1 to confirm; press 2 to cancel,
I thought you're spending a few days with Brenda,
I'm sorry,
If you can't let go, go back to him,
Don't worry about me,
I've been lying to you,
I'm sorry,
But,,, do you want to be with me?
Then let's forget the past
and start our own life together,
OK?
I'm so thrilled tonight, Thanks for coming,
Honey!
Baby!
Come meet all my friends,
Hi,,,
Hi, I'm Ben,
Brenda's fiancé,
Which one of you is Cherie?
Hi!
Be careful!
Thanks,
How are you?
I must thank you for not showing up that day,
or Baby and I wouldn't have met,
You're our Cupid,
We have this perfect ending,,,
all thanks to you,
If we have a son,
you have to be his godmother,
What do you say?
Of course,
My Baby's road to true love has been bumpy,
Her boyfriend vanished all of a sudden,
but it's OK now, I'll be guarding her forever,
She'll always feel my body temperature,
When you move in together,
you won't need a washer and dryer,
Why?
You won't need any clothes,
Don't say that!
Actually,,, she's right,
Let's have a toast!
Yes, a toast,,,
Congratulations,,,
"Your presence is etched on my mind"
"in my dreams, in my heart, even my songs"
"Jimmy: Why didn't you pick up?"
"Cherie: Can't, Am at a karaoke"
"Jimmy: Where?"
You look lonely, sir,
Where are the girls?
Shall I call them?
Teachers, nurses or students?
I forgot! You're into air hostesses,
Sorry,
I'm sorry about last time,
Since we're such good friends, how about
I buy you a 6-pack of beer
and we're done?
I'm serious,
Don't you think we're repeating ourselves?
In what sense?
From Hong Kong to Beijing, we're doing the same thing,
SMS, hook-ups, sex, lies to our other halves
karaokes,,,
It's OK to repeat,
but it's not working!
Since we met again, haven't you felt the problem?
We can't be as happy as before,
- Don't you get it? - I do,
But it's all in your head,
You're still hung up about it,
It's all in your head,
You're always comparing,
For you, the past is always better,
Can you stop comparing?
Can you trust me, just this once?
Hello?
Baby, what time will you be done?
I'm in a meeting, I'll call you later,
What would you like to drink, sir?
Give him a 6-pack, He'll leave after that,
Sure, one moment please,
Hey,,,
Next time,,,
you want to be a two-timer,
turn down the phone,
"I never say I'm in love with whom"
"I never think about right or wrong"
"it's tiring to face myself"
"if it's not a crime to love,"
"why am I crying?"
"I go to sleep with loneliness each night"
"Don't ask me who I am, Just love me"
This is fun, I saw it on microblog,
It's already out,
You can't turn it over,
Says who? Give it here,,,
Just lock it,
You're so stupid,
Yesindeed,
What is it? I was kidding,
I still don't know,,,
how to lock the screen,
Let's eat out,
I did the same thing 2 years ago,
I sent I miss you
upside down to her,
If you can't forget her,
why are you with me?
I thought I was over her,
but when I saw her that day,,,
all the memories came back,
Sorry!
I don't want to hear that,
Don't say sorry to me,
I know I'm not good,
Tell me how I can change,
No, It's my problem,
You're very good already,
You dump me because I'm good?
What are you saying?
I've loved the spaghetti from 7/11 since I was a kid,
People sometimes ask me why I like it,
It's too salty and doesn't have enough meat,
But I just like it,
I love her because,,,
I think she's perfect,
You won't even bother to lie to me any more?
I don't want to hold your hand and think of her,
We've been together for a year,
You can't even spare me a few seconds?
I asked you not to leave after my crash,
But I knew then
you had left since that time at the noodle shop,
Am I right?
I don't want to break up with someone
and leave things hanging every time,
It hurts too much,
You think I'll let you off that easily?
You think you can just wash your hands
and walk out?
Jimm,,,
I'm keeping a part of you
or you can't walk out this door,
Look at you, Did I scare you?
You think I'll kill you with this?
OK, I've kept
a part of you now,
She can have the rest,
You can go now,
I'm the manager here,
Hello,
Are you Linda Wong?
I really like your songs,
When you broke up with Kevin Cheng, I cried my eyes out,
I always sing,,,
"Don't Ask Me Who I Am" at the karaoke,
Thank you,
It's really good,
You're looking for an eye shadow?
This color is too dark, It's not for you,
Try this one,
You can use it as a highlight,
or wear another color over it to bring out the effect,
Looks good,
- Thank you, - You're welcome,
Mind if I ask you a question?
Go ahead,
When you quit the industry so suddenly,
did you have any regrets?
A woman,,,
must know when she needs to settle down,
When that moment comes,
it's OK to live a normal life,
I pay alimony each month
like I'm paying a penalty, $25,000,,,
Imagine paying 60 parking tickets a month!
Whatever happens,
we're brothers! Here's $5,000,
I must make it clear, I haven't worked in a while,
You expect me to pay for this alone, asshole?
You know my situation,,,
I'm not asking for money,
I only want your help,
Hi
What are you doing here, asshole?
Is Cherie around?
Leave her alone,
I want to take her to the movies,
She's not here,
Where is she?
She's transferred to Shanghai for 6 months,
When?
Today,
Why didn't she tell me?
Who are you?
She owes you nothing,
What time is her flight?
9 o'clock, She's taking the train,
Thanks,
What kind of a man are you?
You're not getting her back?
She's gone,
Her train leaves at 9, it's only 8:30,
You can still make it to the South Station,
You drag your feet,,,
on everything!
She's my best friend, I don't want to see her like this,
I know you're an asshole,
but I know what she wants,
Get going, asshole!
Eunuch? I'm heading to the South Station,
Send that clip to my email,
Yes, hurry!
Send that clip to my email, hurry!
Hurry!
"Jimmy calling,"
Can you drive faster?
- Sure, - Thanks,
Can you go away just like that?
It's OK, I haven't taken time off in 4 years,
Even my boss finds it strange,
You don't want to leave Beijing?
No, anywhere is just the same,
Hello? Did you send it?
Good! I have to go, bye!
Want some coffee?
OK,
Latte?
Thanks,
"Jimmy: Even if you won't take my calls,"
"check your email,"
Remember when we came home from the Great Wall commune,
you said,,,
you two couldn't be together any more,
That's really what I thought,
I really thought we couldn't,
The day we met,
you stuck your hand in the toilet for me,
And him?
He likes to put dry ice in the toilet
and watch the smoke,
That day you told me
you loved me because I was lovable and cute,
But I can tell you now,
I got those off the wall ideas
from him,
Even I didn't know
when he started to have such an influence on me,
It's OK, I haven't had a vacation in a long time,
Don't mind me,
I'm sorry,,,
Cherie!
I know I haven't done anything for you,
I'm sorry
I really wanted to change,
My friends always say,,,
I haven't matured since Grade 10,
They say I'm never caring or considerate,
But for you, I'm ready change,
I really want to learn how to care for someone,
how to be dependable,
I really want to be with you again,
I don't want to think of anything else,
I don't care if Ekin Cheng was your first love,
I don't care if you cheated on me,,,
I told you I didn't cheat on you,
OK,
You don't have to admit it,
I just want to be with you,
Jimmy,,,
Unless you really mean it, please leave me alone!
I'm really older than you,
But I'm really taller,
Give me another chance,
What about Afterwards?
Afterwards, give me a French kiss,
No, I mean your dog,
Shall we get him?
I thought you're scared of dogs,
As long as he stays off the bed,
What about the bedroom?
I'll think about it,
He can't come inside?
You know I have allergies,
Just sleep with him You'll get used to it,
We take the bed, he takes the floor,
Eventually he'll take the bed and I the floor,
Look!
Who's that?
The Black Widow,
' Yes!
- She got married and has a daughter, - No kidding?
Look? She's so cute,
But the daughter doesn't look like her,
It's not hers,
Shut your mouth!
Did you delete the clip?
What clip?
That one,
Which one?
Did you delete the clip?
What clip?
Come on,,,
- Oh, that clip,,, - Yes!
It's deleted,
Are you sure?
But I have a backup on my iPad 2,
I knew it,
Like you said, I'm likely to miss you,
Then I can look at the clip and get a laugh,
That's crazy!
It feels good,,,
You can look at the real me,
Don't make me delete it,
I had to beg Eunuch to delete it,
Please?
Then I'll fart,
You don't scare me,
Come on,,,
Let's watch it together,
I have never seen it,
You haven't?
What's there to see?
I'll delete it after we watch it,
No, Just do it, hurry up!
Just once,,, then delete,
- You better keep your word, - Deal,
I'm in deep shit,
No, it looks good,
"I never say I'm in love with whom,
"I never think about right or wrong"
"it's tiring to face myself"
"I need someone to stop my heart from breaking"
"so I can love without regrets"
"I'm not as difficult as"
"they say I am"
"if it's not a crime to love,"
"why am I crying?"
"I go to sleep with loneliness each night"
"Don't ask me who I am, Just love me"
"Nobody knows how I really feel"
"Few people are like me"
"Why make me feel so bad?"
"Don't ask me who I am, Just stand by me"
"See if I have tears in my eyes"
"You and I are no different"
"but my heart breaks easily"