-I ALWAYS IMAGINED THERE'D BE A TIME IN MY LIFE
WHEN EVERYTHING WOULD LINE UP
AND THE UNIVERSE WOULD REVEAL ITS PLAN TO ME,
WHAT WAS ONCE CONFUSING AND OVERWHELMING
WOULD REASSEMBLE INTO SOMETHING SO CLEAR AND SO BRIGHT,
THERE WAS NO WAY I WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO,
AND I GUESS YOU COULD SAY THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED,
BUT JUST LIKE THE STARS,
THE BRIGHTEST ONES ARE THE MOST FLEETING
AND COLLAPSE INTO THE BIGGEST, DEEPEST BLACK HOLES,
[ DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ]
-* YOU JUST LET HIM
* YOU JUST LET HIM
* JUST A BOY
-[ GROANING ]
-* HE'S JUST A BOY
* HE'S JUST SOME BOY
* HE'S ONLY SOME BOY
UH, NO, NO, UGH!
-IT IS VERY GOOD,
-[ LAUGHS ] -I LIKE IT, I DO,
OH,
HE'S ARISEN,
UH,,,HEY, BRO,
HOW YOU DOING?
NO?
I'M RAY, THIS IS LITA,
WE LIVE HERE NOW,
YOUR GIRL SAID TO LET YOU SLEEP,
BUT, UH, IT IS TIME TO RALLY,
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY ON THE LEASE,
-SHE SAID WE COULD KEEP THE COUCH,
HOPE THAT'S COOL,
-IT'S A VERY, VERY SNAZZY PLACE,
UM, DOES THE REFRIGERATOR ALWAYS HAVE THAT MUSK TO IT?
-[ CHUCKLES ]
WAIT, WHAT'S HE DOING?
IS HE GONNA HURL?
DON'T FORGET YOUR BAG!
-[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
[ KNOCK AT DOOR ]
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
[ SIGHS ]
HAVE YOU EVER DONE SOMETHING SO HORRIFYINGLY EMBARRASSING
THAT YOU ACTUALLY BLOCK IT OUT?
-UM -- -YEAH,
I BLACK OUT ALL THE TIME, BRO,
NO SWEAT,
-BUT DON'T WORRY, IT WASN'T TOO NOTICEABLE,
YOU ACTUALLY STARTED TO BLEND INTO THE WALL,
-[ SIGHS ] THAT IS SO LAME,
-DON'T WORRY, YOU KNOW?
WE'VE ALL GOTTEN DUMPED,
GOOD LUCK, [ CHUCKLES ] I MEAN --
-IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU OFFICIALLY,
-YOU, TOO,
THANK YOU FOR THE STUFF,
-YEAH, I KNOW,
IF YOU NEED ANYTHING, YOU JUST, UH, LET US KNOW,
[ DANCE MUSIC PLAYS ]
LISTEN, LIFE IS GREAT, LOVE IS GREAT,
AND YOU WILL FIND IT AGAIN,
IT'S GONNA FIND YOU, YOU KNOW,
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT'S GONNA DEFINE YOU,
IT'S WHAT DEFINES A GENERATION,
I DIDN'T BELIEVE IN LOVE, YOU KNOW?
AND THEN I I MET THIS -- MM -- YOU KNOW?
AND THEN LIKE -- BAM!
-I-- WELL, I THINK WHAT HE'S TRYING TO SAY
IS YOU'LL -- YOU'LL GET THROUGH IT,
YOU WILL, -YEAH,
AND YOU STAY WITH US
LONG AS YOU NEED TO GET ROLLING AGAIN,
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? -THANKS,
I MEAN, YOU GUYS ARE REALLY --
-Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh!
MI CASO SU CASO, ALL RIGHT?
WE KNOW SOME HOT MAMAS,
WE'RE GONNA GET THEM OVER, -OH, MY GOD,
-I MEAN, I KNOW THERE ARE A LOT OF GIRLS OUT THERE,
I'M -- I'M NOT WORRIED ABOUT THAT,
IT'S JUST THAT,,,
CHARLOTTE IS LIKE,,,
[ SIGHS ]
DO YOU GUYS BELIEVE IN SOUL MATES?
CHARLOTTE,,,
CHARLOTTE IS LIKE,,,
THE MISSING PIECE,
WHEN SHE SHOWED UP, I FELT LIKE
I KNEW WHERE I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO --
TOWARD HER,
HER FACE, HER HAIR --
IT WAS MAGIC,
SHE MADE ME FEEL,,,RIGHT,
-GOOD AFTERNOON,
I'M DR, LAMBERT, AND THIS IS INTRODUCTION TO ASTRONOMY,
I AM AWARE MOST OF YOU ARE LIBERAL-ARTS MAJORS,
I GET IT,
IT WAS MY CLASS OR DR, YANG'S INTRO TO GEOLOGY,
[ SNORES ] [ LAUGHTER ]
I COMMEND YOUR CHOICE,
WHAT YOU LEARN IN MY CLASS
MAY HAVE NO DIRECT RELEVANCE TO YOUR FUTURE CAREERS
IN MARKETING OR POLITICS OR ART HISTORY,
BUT I WILL QUOTE COPERNICUS,
HE'S A FAMOUS ASTRONOMER, BY THE WAY,
"IF ANYTHING CAN BIND THE HEAVENLY MIND
"OF THIS DREARY EXILE TO OUR WEARY WORLD
"AND CAN RECONCILE US WITH OUR FATE
"SO THAT ONE CAN ENJOY LIVING,
"THEN IT IS VERILY THE ENJOYMENT
OF THE MATHEMATICAL SCIENCES AND ASTRONOMY,"
SO DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND PAY ATTENTION,
[ LAUGHTER ]
-CHARLOTTE CATES,
-WHO?
-CHARLOTTE,
-SUPERNOVAE HAVE EXPENDED LESS ENERGY
THAN YOU ON THIS EXAM,
BUT THE QUESTION IS
WILL YOU EXHIBIT THE SAME BRILLIANCE?
-[ CHUCKLES ]
[ HORNS HONKING ]
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
-NO, NO, YOU HAVE TO WATCH YOUR FOCUS,
YOU NEED ONE MORE SEGMENT,
GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT,
GUESS SHE WASN'T WILLING TO GIVE UP HER HALLOWEEN,
-WHO?
-THE BLONDE YOU'RE TRANSFIXED ON DURING MY LECTURES,
-I AM LISTENING, -WONDERFUL,
I'M SURE YOUR PARENTS ARE GLAD
YOUR TUITION IS BEING WELL-SPENT,
WHY DON'T YOU MAKE IT WORTH YOUR WHILE
AND TAKE A LOOK?
-[ CLEARS THROAT ]
[ BEEPING ]
OH, UH -- YEAH, YOU TAKE IT,
I'LL -- I'LL GO GET ANOTHER STACK, SORRY,
-HEY, YOU, -HEY, LADY, HOW ARE YOU?
-[ CHUCKLES ] I'M GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?
-YOU GOT BANGS, -I DID,
-THEY LOOK GOOD, -THANK YOU,
-HEY, I'M LOOKING FOR A BOOK,
IT'S CALLED "EVENING" BY SUSAN MINOT,
-OH, I C-- COULD YOU DO THAT?
SORRY, [ BEEPING ]
HELLO?
COULD YOU LOOK UP "EVENING" BY SUSAN MINOT,
I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF AN ENTRY,
-UH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH,
[ BEEPS ] -BEEN A LONG DAY?
-APPARENTLY,
-SECTION "M," ROW 6,
-M-6, THANKS,
[ BEEPS ] -M-6,
-HEY, ARE YOU WORKING NEXT FRIDAY?
-ARE YOU DOING SOMETHING? -HAVING A LITTLE BIRTHDAY PARTY,
YOU SHOULD TOTALLY COME,
-YEAH, THAT WOULD BE PERFECT,
-I'LL SEE YOU THEN, YOU CAN FINALLY MEET GARY,
-YEAH, SOUNDS GOOD,
WINGMEN SHOULD BE OUTGOING AND INITIATE CONVERSATIONS
TO HELP ENSNARE POTENTIAL HOTTIES
FOR THE MAIN PLANE, -[ CHUCKLES ]
YEAH, "MAIN PLANE" IS DEFINITELY NOT THE RIGHT TERM FOR YOU,
-AT LEAST I FINALLY GOT YOU AWAY FROM YOUR "DUNGEONS OF DRAGONS,"
-IT'S NOT D&D,
AND DON'T GIVE ME ANY MORE SHIT
OR I'LL ABANDON YOU MID-FLIGHT, OKAY?
I TOLD YOU, I'M,,,
BROADENING MY SOCIAL CIRCLE, -RIGHT,
-NOW REMIND ME WHOSE -- WHOSE PARTY THIS IS,
-CHARLOTTE, MY HOTTEST FRIEND,
WE WERE IN FRESHMAN DORM TOGETHER,
-OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, [ CLEARS THROAT ]
-HER PARENTS' APARTMENT IS SICK!
HELLO! -OH, JODI!
-HAPPY BIRTHDAY, -THANK YOU SO MUCH,
-YOU LOOK AMAZING, -AWW,
-THIS IS FOR YOU, -THANK YOU,
-MM-HMM, -HEY!
-ASTRONOMY 101, UH, DR, LAMBERT'S CLASS,
-OF COURSE! -HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
-THANK YOU, -DID DAMIAN GET HERE YET?
-YES, COME WITH ME,
-IT WAS SO AMAZING! -WAS IT RIDICULOUS?!
I WISH I CAME! -WELL, IT WAS LIKE,,,
[ DANCE MUSIC PLAYS ]
-OH, HEY!
UH, I NEVER REALLY KNOW WHAT TO DRINK, YOU KNOW?
DO YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS?
-UH, LAPHROAIG,
IT'S THE, UH, 10, NOT THE 18, BUT --
-OH, THAT -- THAT'S DISAPPOINTING,
[ CLEARS THROAT ] -HERE,
SKAL,
-I'M, UM -- I'M HERE WITH JODI,
DO YOU KNOW HER? SHE'S, UH --
ARE YOU WITH CHARLOTTE?
-ARE YOU IN COLLEGE?
-HEY! WHERE'S MY DRINK?
-UH,,,HERE,
-[ GROANS ]
-UH, HERE, T-TRY THIS,
-THAT'S GREAT,
JACKSON AND MARGOT ARE HERE, COME AND SAY HI,
-ALL RIGHT,
-[ CLEARS THROAT ]
THESE PICTURES ARE AMAZING,
UM, WHO'S THE PHOTOGRAPHER? -UH, MY MOTHER,
MY FATHER DESIGNED THE BUILDINGS,
-W-WOW!
THAT'S, UH -- THAT'S A REALLY HIGH BAR THEY SET FOR YOU,
-YEAH, THEY'RE FOND OF REMINDING ME,
THEY THINK MY FUTURE IS IN BRANDING,
-WELL, AT LEAST THEY'RE CLEAR ON THEIR DEMANDS,
[ BOTH CHUCKLE ]
-HOW'S YOUR SCOTCH?
-WELL, IT'S -- IT'S THE 10, NOT THE 18,
[ CHUCKLES ]
HAVE YOU EVER TASTED THE CRACKS
UNDER THE CUSHIONS OF YOUR GRANDPARENTS' COUCH?
-I THINK THE TERM IS "PEATY," -HUH,
-I LIKE THAT CLASS,
-OH, YEAH? -YEAH,
MILES OVER MY HEAD, OF COURSE -- MANY --
BUT I-I THINK THERE WAS
NOT ENOUGH SPECIFICITY IN A PRACTICAL WAY,
BUT I REALLY ENJOY JUST CLOSING MY EYES
AND LISTENING TO THE LECTURE, YOU KNOW?
-YEAH, YEAH, I DO,
I-I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN,
-CHARLOTTE, TIME TO CUT THE CAKE,
-WHO NEEDS SCIENCE ROCKS?
PATENT THIS DRINK AND YOU'RE SET,
-UH, DO YOU WANT ANOTHER ONE? -I DO,
-THERE WILL BE TWO PAPERS DUE BEFORE WEEK FOUR
IN BOTH ABSOLUTE ADVANTAGE AND COMPARATIVE ADVANTAGE,
YOU WILL HAVE AN ASSIGNED STUDY GROUP FOR MIDTERM,
AND, NO, I WILL NOT BE TAKING ANY REQUESTS,
-MACRO, -ECON AND SOCIAL SCIENCE,
-BE SURE TO HAVE YOUR CALCULATOR ON-HAND
FOR ALL IN CLASS PROBLEMS,
AND I'D ADVISE KEEPING A SECOND IN THE DORM
FOR OUR STUDY ASSIGNMENTS,
-BEST FOOTBALL-GAME SNACK,
-SNYDER'S HARD PRETZELS,
-THAT'S IMPRESSIVE,
-THE FOOTBALL OR THE PRETZELS?
-BOTH SIMULTANEOUSLY,
[ BOTH CHUCKLE ]
-UH, OKAY,
BEST PANTRY FOOD MADE WITH MUCH ADDITIVES,
-UM,,,
OH! MAC AND CHEESE, -MAC AND CHEESE,
-YEAH, OKAY, UH, BOX OR TRAY?
-BOX, -BOX,
-GUYS, -[ CLEARS THROAT ]
-OH, MY GOD, I LOVE DRUNK STATUS UPDATES,
[ LAUGHS ]
-IT'S A FIRST,
YOU'RE BREAKING MY CLASS-CUTTING CHERRY WITH ME,
-HUH, I'VE NEVER, UH, DEFLOWERED A TRUANCY VIRGIN BEFORE,
I CAN'T WAIT TO BRAG TO ALL THE BOYS IN THE LOCKER ROOM,
-[ CHUCKLES ]
-SO, UM [CLEARS THROAT]
HOW COME THE, UH -- YOU KNOW, THE GAR
ISN'T CUTTING CLASS WITH YOU?
-GARY? -YEAH,
-GARY HAS A JOB,
WHEN HE DOESN'T SHOW UP, HE GETS FIRED,
-[ GRUNTS ] WELL, THERE ARE OTHER JOBS,
-YOU DON'T CUT OUT WHEN YOU WORK AT CARLYLE,
-OH, RIGHT -- WE WOULDN'T WANT ANY OLD, RICH PEOPLE
NOT TO GET ANY RICHER FOR ONE DAY,
-INSIGHTFUL,
WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH YOUR LIFE
THAT'S SO MUCH MORE NOBLE?
-IT'LL COME TO ME, YOU KNOW?
I-I MEAN I BELIEVE IN MOMENTS OF CLARITY, YOU KNOW,
WHERE -- WHERE THE -- THE UNIVERSE WILL REVEAL TO YOU
EXACTLY WHAT YOU'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR,
LIKE HOW YOU MUST HAVE FELT WHEN YOU FIRST MET GARY,
LOOK, THERE'S NO WAY THAT GUY IS FUN,
-GARY IS FUN,,,SOMETIMES,
BESIDES, HE HAS OTHER QUALITIES,
ONES YOU MAY NOT BE AWARE OF,
-UH, OKAY,
-JESUS, IT MATTERS, -YEAH,
I MEAN, YOU KNOW, IT DOES,
IT'S JUST THAT -- I DON'T KNOW,
SOMETIMES, YOU GUYS SEEM MORE LIKE
ACCESSORIES THAN FRIENDS,
-YOU DON'T KNOW THAT,
-HE COMPLAINS ABOUT 10-YEAR-OLD SCOTCH,
-SO WE'RE A LITTLE DIFFERENT,
SO ARE YOU AND JODI,
-I DON'T WANT TO DATE JODI,
WE'RE FRIENDS,
-WELL, SOMETIMES THAT COMES FIRST,
-I KNOW,
-GOT TO PEE, [ GLASS CLACKS ]
-[ SIGHS ]
-* PICTURE FRESH
* AS WATER CLEAR
* DAYS HAVE PASSED
-YOU'LL GET OVER IT, BABY, DON'T WORRY,
-[ LAUGHS ]
-I JUST -- LET'S DRINK THIS UP,
WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT?
AH, YEAH,,,
-DO YOU GUYS WATCH BASEBALL? -OH, GOD,
HER DAD MAKES US GO TO THE YANKEES GAME,
AND IT IS BORING!
BA-BA-BA-BA-BA-BA-BA-BA! -OH, MY GOD,
YOU'RE A METS FAN,
-WHY DO YOU SAY THAT? -WELL, YOU'RE LOCAL,
SO IT'S EITHER YANKS, SOX, THE PHILS, OR THE METS,
AND YOU'RE NOT A DOUCHE BAG,
SO THAT RULES OUT THE SOX AND THE PHILS,
AND FROM WHAT I'VE SEEN SO FAR,
YOU IN OUR HALLWAY AFTER YOU GOT DUMPED --
-THAT WAS NOT EXACTLY MY FINEST HOUR,
-YOU'RE A SENSITIVE GUY,
YOU AREN'T EMBARRASSED THAT YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE,
AND YOU WOULDN'T BE SATISFIED
GOING HOME WITH A NEW GIRL FROM A BAR EVERY NIGHT,
-THAT'S NOT ENTIRELY TRUE,
-METS FAN FOR SURE,
NOW THE FIRST STEP IS ADMITTING YOU HAVE A PROBLEM,
-OKAY, -OH, DON'T PLAY HURT,
AM I RIGHT OR NOT?
I DON'T KNOW WHY ANYONE WOULD DO THAT --
-BECAUSE THEY ARE ALWAYS STILL THE UNDERDOG,
THEY WERE DOWN TO THEIR LAST STRIKE
IN THE '86 SERIES, AND THEY CAME BACK,
I DON'T KNOW WHY ANYBODY WOULD LIKE THE YANKEES,
'CAUSE THEY'RE SO BORING! -OH, YEAH,
ALL THAT WINNING AND SUCCESS,
-YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT THE YANKEES
SWEEPING SAN DIEGO IN '99 WASN'T LAME?
THERE WAS NO MAGIC!
-THREE-PEAT LIKE '98 TO 2000,
OR YOU CAN HAVE A '69 ONCE EVERY 50 YEARS,
-'69,
-69! -[ LAUGHS ]
YOU FUCKING METS FANS,
[ LAUGHTER ]
-YEAH, THANK YOU,
[ PUNK MUSIC PLAYS ]
-YOU'RE LIKE A STONE SITTING THERE,
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
-HE SHOULDN'T HAVE ANY MORE DRINKS,
[ LAUGHS ]
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
-[ COUGHS ]
-ARE YOU SURE THIS IS A GOOD IDEA?
I'VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE,
-RELAX, YOU HAVE A DEGREE, SHE DIGS THAT,
I DIDN'T HAVE SHIT EXPERIENCE EITHER,
I JUST, UH, CHARMED MY WAY IN,
-ALL RIGHT, KIDDIES, LINE UP,
BUP, BUP! -[ CLEARS THROAT ]
-OKAY, SO, THE SPECIALS ARE EXACTLY THE SAME
AS THEY'VE BEEN FOR THE LAST TWO MONTHS,
YOU DON'T KNOW THEM,,, -SHE WANTS TO FUCK ME,
-YOU DO REALIZE I HAVE NO IDEA
HOW TO BE A WAITER, RIGHT?
-SHE'S KIND OF HOT, HUH? -ALL RIGHT,
WE HAVE A PARTY OF 11 COMING IN AT 5:00,
RAYMOND?
-YES? [ COUGHS ]
-ARE YOU SMOKING MARIJUANA?
-NO -- NO, NO, NO,
NO,
-[ SIGHS ] AND EVERYONE,
REMEMBER TO BE NICE TO THE NEW GUY, ALL RIGHT?
GOOD LUCK,
ALL RIGHT, OFF YOU GO, SCURRY ALONG,
MM-HMM,
ALL RIGHT, THERE YOU GO,
MM-HMM, MM-HMM,
SMILES, THANK YOU,
-[ GROANS ]
-WELL, HELLO,
GOOD NIGHT AT WORK?
-NO,
SAID I WOULD NOT BE ADVANCING FROM TRAILING,
WHATEVER THAT MEANS,
WHERE'S RAY?
-AUDITION,
AXE BODY SPRAY, -[ LAUGHS ]
-SO THEY MADE YOU GIVE UP THE BANDANA,
THAT SUCKS, [ LAUGHS ]
-AT LEAST THE "COUGAR TOWN" MANAGER GAVE ME HER NUMBER,
-BUT THE JOKE'S ON YOU,
BECAUSE YOU PASSED UP AN EASY SCORE,
I CAN STILL HOOK IT UP IF YOU WANT,
-I'M NOT REALLY AN EASY SCORE KIND OF GUY, YOU KNOW?
I MEAN, EASY SCORING ISN'T GONNA GET HER BACK,
-GET HER BACK?
-CHARLOTTE,
WHAT?
-I MEAN,,,
I'M PRETTY SURE SHE WAS SERIOUS ABOUT ENDING IT,
SHE RENTED OUT THE PLACE AND -- AND LEFT YOU IN IT,
-I KNOW, I KNOW,
BUT I'M SURE TAKING IT LIKE A KICK IN THE ASS,
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
BUT NOW THAT I'M UP,
I COULD USE A LITTLE HELP STAYING ON MY FEET,
CAN I ASK YOU A FAVOR?
LITA WASN'T VERY CLEAR ABOUT WHAT THIS JOB ENTAILS,
IT ISN'T PLASTICS, IS IT?
-SALES -- INTERNATIONAL SALES,
-SELLING THINGS SALES?
-SELLING THINGS INTERNATIONALLY,
LITA HAS A THING FOR YOU, YOU KNOW?
-UH, SHE HAS A THING FOR ME?
NO, I-I DON'T -- I DON'T THINK THAT'S TRUE,
-WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS RAY?
-UH, HE'S BEEN GREAT,
YOU KNOW, THEY'VE BEEN HELPING ME OUT,
-I THINK WE SHOULD GET RID OF HIM,
-WE? -YOU SHOULD DATE,
-WELL, I, UM -- I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT,
-AND HERE WE ARE,
HAVE A SEAT,
-THIS IS MY OFFICE?
-I CAN'T HAVE MY DAUGHTER DATING SOME SCHMUCK IN A CUBICLE,
THIS IS WHAT WE SELL, AND THIS IS WHO WE SELL IT TO,
YOUR ROLE IS SUPERVISORY IN NATURE,
SO THE LESS YOU ACTUALLY DO, THE BETTER,
-AND THEY,,,?
-YOU'LL BE INTRODUCED GRADUALLY,
-HOW?
-SON, CAN I GIVE YOU ONE PIECE OF ADVICE?
SHUT UP AND SMILE,
-* WE HAVE FUN
* WE GO OUT, AND WE GET DRUNK
* AND THEN WE ARE ERASED
* SO WE START OVER
* LIKE DETECTIVES, WE INSPECT
* THIS OPEN AND CLOSED CASE
* AND WHEN WE START TO THINK
* THE MARK THAT WE HAVE MADE
* OUR HEARTS WILL LOSE THEIR SHAPE *
* WE ARE ERASED
-I WANT TO HAVE LIKE A GIGANTIC BED --
A DOUBLE-KING, JOLIE/PITT-STYLE, TAKE UP THE WHOLE ROOM,
EVERYONE'S IN IT ALL THE TIME,
-REALLY? GRANDMA'S FEATHER BED?
* NINE FEET HIGH AND SIX FEET WIDE *
[ MUMBLES ] -[ CHUCKLES ]
-[ CLEARS THROAT ]
ARE YOU OKAY? IS THIS -- IS THIS AWKWARD?
-NO,
-IT'S BECAUSE WE WERE FRIENDS FIRST,
IT'S BETTER TO BE FRIENDS FIRST,
-WELL, SO FAR, YOU HAVE MADE A VERY CONVINCING ARGUMENT,
-HMM, -[ CHUCKLES ]
WHAT?
-N-NOTHING,
I-I JUST --
I KNEW THE FIRST TIME I SAW YOU,
-[ CHUCKLES ]
STOP IT,
-I'M SERIOUS,
-I KNOW,
-YOU DO?
-I DO,
I JUST ALWAYS KNEW,
-SO, WHEN DID YOU FIRST START,
YOU KNOW, DOING ART?
-UH, I WAS LIKE 5 OR 6, I THINK,
AND I GOT THOSE OIL PASTELS --
YOU KNOW, THE ONES THAT YOU CAN SMEAR,
-YEAH, I THINK SO,
-YEAH -- AND I DISCOVERED A SPOT BEHIND A DOOR
WHERE ONLY I EVER LOOKED,
AND I JUST -- I STARTED SMEARING,
-WHAT COLOR WAS IT? -I DON'T KNOW --
I MEAN, IT WAS EVERYTHING, REALLY,
LIKE ALL COLORS,
-IF WE WERE A COLOR, WHAT COLOR WOULD WE BE?
-UM,,,
GREEN,
-MM-HMM, -BUT NOT LIKE A FOREST,
LIKE A SPRING GREEN, -NO, NO,
DEFINITELY A SPRING GREEN, -YES,
AND WITH A HINT OF CRIMSON,
-I LIKE THAT,
-* HI, HELLO, GOOD MORNING
* IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN
* I HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT
* ABOUT A DEAR, OLD FRIEND
-I THOUGHT YOU ALREADY PICKED OUT YOUR --
-IT DOESN'T WORK,
-I CAN MAKE YOU CHEESY EGGS,
-[ Chuckling ] NO,
-I CAN MAKE YOU PANCAKES,
-[ LAUGHS ] I DON'T HAVE TIME,
-I CAN GET YOU A BANANA, -I HAVE TO GO,
-WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,
YOU'RE GONNA BE AMAZING,
-* KIND HEARTS,,,
-MM -I HAVE TO GO,
-* ,,,MAKE LIFE WORTH LIVING
-WE, US, WORK ON THE PINNACLE OF CAPITALISM,
WE'RE THE TITANS OF INDUSTRY, THE WET DREAM OF COMMERCE,
TODAY, WE WILL MANUFACTURE ALMOST 400 SANDWICHES --
RAW MATERIAL -- AM I RIGHT? --
CONSTRUCTED FOR PURCHASED PRODUCTS FOR SALE,
PURCHASING CONSUMED BY CUSTOMERS?
-[ SPEAKING SPANISH ]
-HEY, JUST LET ME FINISH,
-SORRY, UH, 42, -THANK YOU,
-WAIT, -THANK YOU, SIR,
HAVE A VERY GOOD DAY, -YOU RUINED IT,
THAT SANDWICH WAS TWO SECONDS AWAY FROM PERFECTION,
-[ SPEAKING SPANISH ]
-YOU CRY A BABY PESO,
-OKAY -- STOP, OKAY?
[ SPEAKS SPANISH ] -ALL RIGHT,
[ HORN HONKS ]
[ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]
HELLO, I'VE GOT A DELIVERY FOR CHARLOTTE CATES,
SHOULD I JUST BRING IT IN? -UH, I'LL TRY HER,
[ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]
UH, SHE'S NOT AT HER DESK,
-OH, I CAN TAKE IT TO HER, I KNOW WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE,
-SORRY, -SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND,
-YOU CAN LEAVE IT WITH ME,
-OKAY,
WELL, DON'T LET IT SIT OR IT WILL GET SOGGY,
[ KEYBOARD CLACKING ]
I'VE TRIED TO BE A GOOD LEADER,
TO ENRICH YOUR LIVES WITH CULTURE
WHILE PROVIDING THE SECURITY NECESSARY TO ENJOY IT,
YOU ARE MY PEOPLE,
I LOVE YOU,
BUT TONIGHT WE STAND ACROSS THE APEX OF OUR HISTORY,
WE BALANCE ON THE VERY FULCRUM OF OUR SURVIVAL,
TONIGHT, WE DECLARE WAR
ON OUR ARCHENEMIES, THE EVIL AZTEC,
MAY OUR CHILDREN FORGIVE US,
WE HAVEN'T SEEN ANDY AND KATE IN A WHILE,
I'M GONNA GIVE THEM A CALL TOMORROW,
-THIS WEEKEND ISN'T GOOD FOR ME,
YOU SHOULD -- YOU SHOULD JUST SEE THEM,
-I DON'T WANT TO SEE THEM WITHOUT YOU,
-YOU CAN DO THINGS WITHOUT ME,
I MEAN, YOU KNOW HOW BUSY I AM,
YOU -- YOU CAN'T LET ME HOLD YOU BACK,
-[ SCOFFS ]
HOLD ME BACK FROM WHAT?
-FROM WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU WANT TO DO
THAT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY,
-WHAT YOU'RE DOING MAKES YOU HAPPY?
-[ SIGHS ]
-ABOUT AS FAR FROM REAL ART AS YOU CAN GET,
-FORGET IT,
-I'M SORRY, IS THIS ABOUT A JOB?
-I KNOW THAT THERE IS SO MUCH YOU'RE INTERESTED IN,
YOU JUST -- YOU HAVE TO FIND A WAY TO PURSUE THAT SOMETHING
AND MAKE A LIFE OF IT,
-I'M NOT WORRIED, YOU SHOULDN'T BE,
-JUST FANTASIZE,
TAKE AWAY ANY LIMITATIONS,
YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, ANY JOB,
WHAT IS IT?
-THIS IS POINTLESS, -NO, IT'S A START,
-UH,,,I DON'T KNOW,
ALL I KNOW RIGHT NOW IS THAT I WANT TO BE WITH YOU,
-[ SIGHS ]
-OKAY?
-AND WE'VE GOT TWO MEN ON, TWO STRIKES,
AND HERE COMES THE PITCH RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE,
RIGHT THROUGH -- OH, OH!
[ CROWD CHEERING ]
-* CAN'T LET GO, CAN'T LET GO-O-O-O *
* CAN'T LET GO, CAN'T LET GO-O-O-O *
* LOOK OUT THE WINDOW, DEAR
* IT'S LATE
* THE SUN WILL SOON BE HERE
* ANY MINUTE NOW
* THE DOOR MIGHT CLOSE
* MIGHT CLOSE, MIGHT CLOSE
* ANY MINUTE NOW, THE DOOR MIGHT CLOSE *
* AND WE'LL NEVER KNOW OH, OH, OH, OH, OH *
* CAN'T LET GO, CAN'T LET GO-O-O-O *
-WE'RE GOING TO TALK THIS THROUGH,
-THERE IS NOTHING TO TALK THROUGH,
-IT'S NOT OVER,
-DID YOU LOOK FOR A REAL JOB TODAY?
-I-I DID SOME THINKING, YOU KNOW?
I THINK I CAME UP WITH A REALLY GOOD PLAN,
-REALLY? -YEAH,
UH, WELL, YOU KNOW, IT'S A LITTLE NEBULOUS AT THE MOMENT,
BUT,,,CAN WE JUST TALK ABOUT THIS LIKE ADULTS?
-ADULTS? -YES,
-I ASKED YOU TO LEAVE,
-IF I LEAVE, THEN IT'S OVER,
-PLEASE DON'T,
-WHAT OTHER GUY WOULD DO THIS FOR YOU?! I MEAN, TELL ME,
I-I-I'M TRYING TO STOP YOU FROM MAKING
THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF YOUR LIFE,
-I DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER WAY TO SAY IT,
JUST PLEASE GO,
-THEY'RE HERE -- WAITING FOR YOU IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM,
-[ CLEARS THROAT ]
[ SIGHS ]
JEFF, YOU WANT TO START US OFF?
-THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING,
THIS IS AN EXCITING TIME FOR MARKOVIC INTERNATIONAL,
AS WE ALL KNOW, NEW REVENUE
IS A KEY TO SUCCESS FOR ANY BUSINESS,
BUT THE KEY TO NEW REVENUE, NEW MARKETS,
WE CAN INCREASE OUR PROFIT,,,
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
-OKAY, WELL, I'LL -- THANK YOU, -THANK YOU,
-I'LL ASK,,, -HEY,
-,,,WHEN YOU GET BACK TO THE OFFICE
IF YOU CAN MAKE AN APPOINTMENT WITH ME,
-ALL WITH YOUR HANDS,
YEAH, YOU JUST SCOOP IT UP,
I MEAN, IT MAKES SENSE, CONSIDERING IT IS ETHIOPIAN,
-RIGHT,
-THREE STOPS INTO BROOKLYN
ON FULTON STREET,
-HI,
-HEY, HOW ARE YOU? -FINE, THANKS,
UH, THESE NEED TO BE REVIEWED AND SIGNED,
-JEFF, -RIGHT,
CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING?
COFFEE, WATER? -NO, THANK YOU,
-I THINK WE'RE ALL GOOD HERE, JEFF, THANKS,
-OKAY,
BUZZ ME IF YOU NEED ANYTHING,
-THEY SENT YOU ALL THE WAY OVER HERE TO BRING ME THOSE?
THAT'S A POOR ALLOCATION OF YOUR SKILLS,
-WHAT IS THIS?
-YOU ALWAYS WANTED ME TO ACT ON MY POTENTIAL,
-[ SCOFFS ] YEAH --
HIRING MY COMPANY, MY TEAM SPECIFICALLY?
-YOU DON'T DESERVE IT?
-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
-WE WERE LEGITIMATELY INTERESTED IN BRANCHING OUT,
-NICE OFFICE,
-THANKS,
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU,
-THIS WON'T WORK,
MY -- MY FRIENDS THINK YOU'RE PSYCHOTIC,
MY PARENTS WANT YOU BANNED -- -I'M SORRY,
YOU KNOW I'M NOT A PSYCHO,
AND CLEARLY I'M IN A GOOD PLACE NOW,
-LOOK, THIS DOESN'T CHANGE ANYTHING,
-IT MIGHT, -IT WON'T,
I SHOULD GO,
-W-WHAT ABOUT -- WHAT ABOUT YOU?
-WHAT ABOUT ME?
-ARE YOU HAPPY?
IS THIS -- IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT?
-THIS ISN'T ABOUT ME,
-CHARLOTTE --
-I GOT TO GO,
-WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?! -JUST SHOW UP ON TIME!
THAT'S ALL I ASK! -ARE YOU MY MOTHER?!
AM I IN HIGH SCHOOL?! -I JUST ASKED!
WHEN YOU WANT ME TO BE SOMEWHERE, I'M THERE!
-OH, FUCK!
-WHAT'S UP, GUYS?
-WHAT'S UP? [ LAUGHS ]
ONE MONTH OF CRASHING,
THAT'S WHAT'S UP, OKAY, PARASITE?
HOW ARE YOU ENJOYING YOUR NEW JOB?
H-HOW ARE YOU ENJOYING SUCKING
AT THE WHORISH DICK OF CAPITALISM, HUH?
-RAY -- -DO NOT TALK TO HIM LIKE THAT,
-DON'T LOOK AT HER, -RAY!
-[ CHUCKLES ] SHUT UP!
-HEY, RAY, TAKE IT EASY, OKAY?
-GET YOUR HAND OFF ME, PLEASE,
GET YOUR HAND OFF ME! -RAY, STOP IT!
-OH, HE WANTS TO? OKAY,
-OH, MY GOSH!
-FORGET THIS, -OW!
-SPOILED BRAT!
ASS FACE!
I'M OUT!
-MM!
-MM,
-HE'S CRAZY,
-WE'LL CALL THAT STRIKE THREE,
ALL RIGHT, LET ME SEE,
WE SHOULD GET SOME ICE FOR THAT,
ARE YOU SURE?
-[ LAUGHS ] WE SHOULD LOCK THE DOOR,
-* WELL, I'VE GOT NO FEELING
* BUT I'VE BEEN DREAMING OF YOU *
* WHOA-OH
* AND I'VE BEEN STEAMING
* BUT I'VE BEEN LEAVING TOO SOON *
* WHOA-OH
-OVER HERE, -WATCH OUT, I'M GOING,
LET'S GO, LITA!
[ LAUGHTER ] -COME ON IN, TIME FOR DINNER,
-* AND GO, GO, GO
-IF I ASKED YOU TO MARRY ME,
YOU'D -- YOU'D SAY YES, RIGHT?
YOU'D HAVE TO, -MARRY? WHY NOT?
I MEAN, WE COULD ALWAYS GET DIVORCED,
BUT MY DAD WILL MAKE YOU
SIGN A PRENUP, -REALLY?
HE SAID HE'D MAKE ME A PRESIDENT OF THE COMPANY
AS MY DOWRY,
-YOUR DOWRY? -OH, YEAH --
WITH A COUPLE OF PIGS, MILKING COWS, GOAT,
-SO I'LL STAY HOME AND MILK THE COWS,
AND YOU'LL BE THE C,E,O,
OF AN INTERNATIONAL SALES CORPORATION?
-IT'D TOTALLY WORK, -IT'S A DEAL,
[ LAUGHS ]
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
-NOW, TELL IVAN HOW YOU MET, -YEAH,
-UH, IT'S -- IT'S NOT REALLY A GOOD STORY,
-IVAN MIGHT THINK IT'S A GREAT STORY,
-[ LAUGHS ] -YEAH,
-WELL, IN HELPING HIM GET OVER HIS EX,
HE COULDN'T HELP BUT FALL FOR ME,
[ LAUGHTER ]
-SMART BOY, -YES, HE IS,
-IS THERE SOMETHING YOU WANT TO TELL ME?
-SALES ARE GOOD,
-NO, NO, NO!
IF YOU WANT TO EAT WITH THIS FAMILY,
NO BUSINESS AT THE TABLE,
-MM, IVAN,
-IS THERE SOMETHING ELSE?
DID YOU KNOW THAT WE HAVE HAD A BOX AT YANKEE STADIUM
IN OUR FAMILY FOR 29 YEARS, YOUNG MAN,
SINCE BEFORE YOU WERE BORN!
-I LIKE THE YANKEES, TOO, I LIKE THEM BOTH,
I'M -- I'M REALLY JUST A FAN OF THE GAME, OKAY?
-HOW COULD YOU BE A METS FAN?! -THEY'RE MY TEAM,
I'M -- I'M LOYAL, -THEY'RE LOSERS!
HOW COULD YOU WASTE YOUR TIME ON LOSERS?
-THEY'RE NOT LOSERS, -LOSERS!
[ LAUGHTER ]
-MY DAUGHTER IS WITH A METS FAN,
-I AM,
-MY NEW JUNIOR VICE PRESIDENT IS A METS FAN,
-OH, WOW,
-SALES ARE GOOD,
YOU'RE A NATURAL, -IT'S A PROMOTION!
-THE METS FAN HAS NO IDEA HOW TO HANDLE SUCCESS,
[ LAUGHTER ] -STOP,
-10 TO 1 SAYS HE BLOWS IT,
-I PROPOSE A TOAST,
TO NEPOTISM,
-ZIVELI!
-CHEERS, -CHEERS,
-[ SIGHS ]
YOU KNOW MY FIRST SHOW AT THE LIVING ROOM?
-MM-HMM,
-WHAT DID YOU THINK?
-I THOUGHT IT WAS GOOD,
I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOOD,
BUT I DIDN'T HEAR YOU, YOU KNOW?
I DIDN'T HEAR YOUR HONESTY,
AND I KNOW THAT'S SOMETHING THAT YOU WANT,
-RAY SAID I WAS GREAT,
BUT HE DIDN'T BELIEVE IT,
I LIKE THAT YOU CAN TELL ME WHAT YOU REALLY THINK,
IS SOMETHING WRONG?
-I HATE THAT I'M GOOD
AT THE THINGS THAT I DON'T CARE ABOUT,
AND TERRIBLE AT THE THINGS THAT I DO,
-DO YOU MEAN WORKING FOR MY DAD?
-YEAH,
-YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORK FOR HIM IF YOU DON'T WANT,
-I KNOW, I KNOW,
-YOU WANTED A REAL JOB BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT YOU'D GET HER BACK,
-YEAH, BUT THAT'S NOT WHY ANYMORE,
I-I LIKE FEELING LIKE AN ADULT,
-THAT'S -- THAT'S NOT REALLY YOU, IS IT?
-I DON'T KNOW,
YEAH, IT IS, BUT --
-YOU'RE PRETENDING,
AND THAT'S NOT SOMETHING YOU NEED TO DO AROUND ME,
IF IT'S ABOUT HER, THEN --
-LISTEN TO ME, IT'S NOT ABOUT HER, OKAY?
THINGS ARE PERFECT RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE PERFECT,
THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS, -[ CHUCKLES ]
-I'M HAPPY,
-LIGHT LOSES ENERGY ESCAPING FROM A GRAVITATIONAL FIELD
BECAUSE THE ENERGY OF LIGHT IS PROPORTIONAL TO ITS FREQUENCY,
A SHIFT TOWARD LOWER ENERGY REPRESENTS A SHIFT
TO LOWER FREQUENCY AND LONGER WAVELENGTH
OR A SHIFT TOWARD THE RED FOR VISIBLE LIGHT,
DON'T PUT YOUR PENCIL DOWN YET, MULLEN,
[ LAUGHTER ]
SO, ANOTHER EXAMPLE HOW EVENTS ARE PERCEIVED DIFFERENTLY,
BOTH SPATIALLY AND TEMPORALLY, REALLY,
TRULY DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES STEMMING FROM HARD FACTS --
THE UNDERLYING CONCEPT BEHIND RELATIVITY,
CRYSTAL-CLEAR? EXCELLENT,
NOW, IF WE TAKE THIS EXAMPLE FURTHER,,,
BRUSHING UP ON YOUR RELATIVISTIC PHYSICS?
THAT'S A BIG LEAP FROM 101,
-[ CHUCKLES ] YOU REMEMBER ME?
I REMEMBER THE STUDENTS WHO REALLY LISTEN,
PLUS, YOU WROTE THAT GREAT ESSAY ON THE ABERRATION OF STARLIGHT,
-WOW, T-THANK YOU FOR NOTICING,
-OBSERVATION IS THE BACKBONE OF ASTRONOMY,
-W-WOULD YOU HAVE ANY ADVICE FOR SOMEONE
WHO WANTED TO MAKE A TRANSITION INTO A CAREER IN ASTRONOMY?
-ONE WOULD NEED A STRONG FOUNDATION
IN PHYSICS AND MATHEMATICS,
OBVIOUSLY A THOROUGH COMPREHENSION
OF ELECTRICITY AND MAGNETISM, ATOMIC AND NUCLEAR PHYSICS,
THERMODYNAMICS, STATISTICAL MECHANICS,
QUANTUM THEORY, AND COMPUTER SCIENCE,
-AND FOR SOMEONE WITH A LIBERAL-ARTS DEGREE?
-IT'S IMPORTANT TO DISTINGUISH YOUR SKILLS FROM YOUR INTERESTS,
CAN I ASK WHY YOU DIDN'T PURSUE THIS AS AN UNDERGRAD?
-CALCULUS AND PHYSICS, [ CHUCKLES ]
-THERE ARE JOBS IN THE FIELD THAT AREN'T SCIENCE-RELATED,
YOU SHOULD LOOK INTO IT,
-IN THE CITY?
-YOU MIGHT HAVE TO THINK A LITTLE MORE RURAL,
[ SIREN CHIRPS ]
[ HORNS HONKING ]
-I WISH I COULD REMEMBER IT BETTER,
-HOLD ON, WAIT, LOOK,
JUST -- OKAY, CLOSE YOUR EYES,
CLOSE YOUR EYES, OKAY?
CAN YOU SEE IT?
-YEAH,
-I LOVE YOU,
-I LOVE YOU, TOO,
-OKAY, GUYS, SO, I THREW OUT A NUMBER,
IT WAS 15% QUARTERLY JUMP,
DO NOT THINK OF IT IN TERMS OF 5% A MONTH,
WE HAVE NOT HAD A 5% MONTH SINCE JANUARY 2007,
-LOOK AT THIS FUCKING GUY!
WHAT'S UP, BRO?!
THIS GUY STOLE MY GIRLFRIEND, -I DIDN'T STEAL HIS GIRLFRIEND,
-NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!
IT'S COOL IF YOU DID, YOU KNOW,
BECAUSE IT WAS GETTING SERIOUS,
YOU KNOW, AND THAT'S JUST NOT HOW I ROLL,
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
LIKE THAT -- I'D HIT THAT,
-HE MISSED,
-TWO TIMES,
SO, HOW ARE YOU, MAN?
STILL WORKING WITH OLD MAN MARKOVIC?
THAT GUY HATED ME,
-YEAH, I'M STILL PUSHING THE CLOCK,
-MM,
-WHAT HAPPENED TO GIRABALDI'S?
-EH, ASSHOLE, WHATEVER,
HOW'S LITA?
-SHE'S GOOD, -YEAH?
-I THINK, I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T KNOW,
-YOU HIT THAT? -WHAT? NO,
-NO, IT'S COOL IF YOU DID, -NO, NO, IT'S NOT COOL,
-18 WANTS THEIR CHECK,
-GOT IT,
UM,,,YOU STILL HUNG UP ON THAT,
UH, OTHER CHICK, YOU KNOW?
-UH, YEAH,
YEAH, I GUESS SO,
-YEAH,
THAT'S NOT HEALTHY, MAN,
-I KNOW,
DO YOU -- DO YOU NOT HAVE A PROBLEM GETTING OVER GIRLS?
-RAY, YOUR ENTIRE SECTION'S LOOKING FOR YOU,
-I GOT IT,
IT'S NOT ABOUT THE GIRL, YOU KNOW?
EACH ONE IS, LIKE, LEADING UP TO THE NEXT ONE,
THEY'RE PART OF MY PATH,
I MEAN, I MAY END UP WITH, UH, LITA,
[ CHUCKLES ] I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW,
SHE MADE ME BELIEVE IN LOVE AND ALL THAT CRAP,
BUT I'M JUST NOT READY FOR HER YET,
-RIGHT,
-ANYWAY, I GOT TO GO,
-OKAY, -LATER,
HEY, FOUR MORE, PLEASE,
-COMING RIGHT UP,
-[ SIGHS ]
[ CHUCKLES ]
-* OH, COME IN
* FROM THE DARKNESS
* ON THE EDGE OF THIS THREE-TREE TOWN *
* BECAUSE IT'S THICKER THAN THE WOODS OUT THERE *
-OUR BARTENDER GIVES HIM GLASSES,
BARTENDER GIVES HIM THE GLASSES,
HE JUST GOES, "I'M NOT DRINKING THAT,
GET AWAY ME," -VERY, VERY FUN, NO, IT WAS!
WHO -- WHO SAYS THAT TO A BARTENDER?
THEY'RE TRYING TO BE NICE TO YOU,
WE GOT KICKED OUT IMMEDIATELY,
-* COME IN FROM THE SHADOWS
* OF THESE BOOT-BLACK, MARCHING CLOUDS *
* 'CAUSE TROUBLE FALLS LIKE RAIN *
* AND LATELY IT'S BEEN POURING DOWN *
-STAY,
RIGHT NOW CAN WE JUST,,,
KEEP IT LIKE THIS,,,
SIMPLE?
-* SO I, I'VE SEEN
* LONELINESS
* SHE TIED ME DOWN
* IN HER SWEET CARESS -[ GROANS ]
[ SIGHS ]
HE'S A PARASITE TO HUMANITY,,,
A LEECH, A LECHEROUS DEVIANT,,,
STEALER OF GIRLFRIENDS, BREAKER OF INNOCENT HEARTS,,,
A PIRATE ON THE SEAS OF INTERNATIONALLY SELLING THINGS,
-SO IT'S YOU WHO'S BEEN RUNNING UP MY UTILITY BILLS,
- YEAH, I'M JUST TRYING TO POLISH UP ON THE MYSAI PROPOSAL,
I THINK THE YANKEE TICKETS CLOSE THE DEAL FOR MR, DIBATA,
-WHAT DO I CARE ABOUT MOST?
-LITA,
-IF YOU WANT TO IMPRESS ME, IMPRESS HER,
GO HOME,
-WHAT'S UP?
-I'M NERVOUS, -[ CHUCKLES ]
WHAT ABOUT? -THURSDAY,
I TOLD YOU A&R FROM URGE IS SUPPOSED TO SHOW UP,,,
-RIGHT, -,,,AND I'M FREAKING OUT,
PLEASE DON'T BE LATE TO THIS ONE,
-OKAY,
-WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
-OBSERVATORIES OUT WEST, UP NORTH,
[ CHUCKLES ] SOMETIMES, THEY POST JOBS,
-THAT'S RAD,
-WELL, YOU NEED A DEGREE OR RELEVANT SKILLS
FOR MOST OF THE JOBS,
BUT SOMETIMES THEY NEED A JANITOR,,,
-[ LAUGHS ] -,,,OR -- OR A GROUNDS KEEPER,
UH, THERE'S THIS ONE AT 10,000 FEET
OUTSIDE THIS REMOTE, LITTLE TOWN,
IT -- IT'S THE REAL DEAL,
-IT'D BE COOL TO LIVE OUT THERE, IN THE MOUNTAINS,
I MEAN, IT'D BE LIKE THE SPIRIT QUEST THE INDIANS DO,
AND WE COULD TRY PEYOTE,
-[ LAUGHS ] -AND ARE THEY HIRING?
OR DO THEY HAVE A GIFT SHOP? I COULD DO THAT,
-YOU'D GO WITH ME?
I MEAN, ISN'T THIS KIND OF ONE OF THOSE
GROWING UP ON MY OWN SORT OF THINGS?
-IT'S MORE FUN TO GROW WITH SOMEONE ELSE,
GROWING ON YOUR OWN ALWAYS SEEMS TO INVOLVE BEING DEPRESSED,
-[ SIGHS ]
YOU ARE WISE BEYOND YOUR YEARS, LITA MARKOVIC,
-THAT'S WHAT THEY TELL ME,
BEDTIME,
DON'T COME TO BED TOO LATE,
-I WON'T,
-[ LAUGHS ]
-[ SIGHS ]
[ SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE ]
-SORRY,
I CRASHED OUT,
-I KNOW,
WHAT IS THIS, CHARLOTTE? WHAT -- WHAT ARE WE DOING?
-IT'S US, IT -- IT'S COMPLICATED,
-THAT'S --
[ CHUCKLES ] THAT'S AN UNDERSTATEMENT,
-I'M GLAD YOU CAME,
-WELL, YOU ASKED ME TO,
I STILL -- I'M STILL DOING
EVERYTHING THAT YOU ASKED ME TO DO,
SHOULDN'T THIS BE EASIER?
-SORRY,
I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE WE'RE DOING THE RIGHT THING,
-ME, TOO,
-ARE YOU STILL GONNA COME ON THURSDAY?
-YEAH,
YEAH, IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY, OF COURSE,
I GOT TO GO,
-AW, THANKS, MAN,
[ LAUGHS ] I GOT IT,
[ HORN HONKS ]
-CAN I GET THE DESSERT MENU?
-YEAH, NO, I LIKE THAT,
-* I'M SOMEWHERE
* YOU'RE SOMEWHERE
* I'M NOWHERE
* YOU'RE NOWHERE
* YOU'RE SOMEWHERE
* I COULD GO THERE
* BUT I DON'T
* YOU TELL ME STORIES OF THE SEA *
* AND THE ONES YOU LEFT BEHIND
* AND THE ONES WE LEFT BEHIND
-[ SIGHS ]
-HOW LONG?
-IT'S NOT LIKE THAT, -HOW LONG?
I TRUSTED YOU,
-I KNOW,
-I-I BELIEVED IN YOU,
-YOU'RE WONDERFUL,
I HAVE NO EXCUSE OR DEFENSE, -STOP, STOP, OKAY?
I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN,
-[ SIGHS ]
-BATTING PRACTICE, RIGHT?
[ DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ]
-[ SIGHS ]
[ SIGHS ]
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]
[ BLOWS ]
[ CAR DOOR CLOSES ]
HELLO,
-WHO ARE YOU?
-UH, I'M THE NEW MAINTENANCE PROFESSIONAL,
TODD HIRED ME,
-SO WHEN MY OBSERVATORY IS BURNED DOWN
BY A STRAY ASH FROM THE NEW JANITOR
WHO HAS NO SCIENTIFIC VALUE TO THIS FACILITY WHATSOEVER,
I SHOULD BLAME TODD?
THERE'S NO SMOKING AT THIS FACILITY,
-I-I KNOW, IT'S IN THE HANDBOOK,
THOUGHT IT'D BE A NICE WAY TO MEET PEOPLE,
[ SIGHS ]
[ KNOCKS ]
-[ Indian accent ] COME IN, COME IN,
WELCOME, MY FRIEND,
-SAY, UH, WHAT'S ON THE DISH THIS EVENING?
-[ Normal voice ] UGH, S,O,S,, BROTHER,
DEGREE IN PHYSICS -- I MIGHT AS WELL BE
ANSWERING PHONES AT A TOASTER TECH-SUPPORT HOTLINE,
-OH, IS THIS THE RED-SHIFT STUFF?
-LYMAN ENERGY ABSORPTION AND HIGH RED-SHIFT QUASARS
MEASURING THE UNIVERSE'S RATE OF EXPANSION OVER TIME,
WHAT, THEY DON'T TEACH YOU GUYS THIS STUFF IN JANITOR SCHOOL?
-NO, IT'S MORE, UH, PHILOSOPHY --
YOU KNOW, LIKE IF THE UNIVERSE'S EXPANSION
IS HIGHER THAN THE RATE OF THOUGHT,
WILL TOKAGAWA FINALLY HAVE A CHANCE TO GET LAID
BEFORE EXISTENCE AS WE KNOW IT CEASES,
YOUR STUNNING BARB MIGHT ACTUALLY ZING, BUDDY,
IF YOU DIDN'T DELIVER IT WITH A BLEEDING NOSE,
WEEK IN AND STILL A NEWBIE, I SEE,
NOT EVERYBODY'S CUT OUT FOR LIFE AT 10,000 FEET,
-[ GROANS ]
HEY, UH, I WAS HAVING A SMOKE TODAY,
AND SOME LADY YELLED AT ME,
-A LADY LIKE -- LIKE OLDER AND MEAN?
-SHE WASN'T THAT OLD, SHE WAS WEARING A HAT,
-OH, YOU'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE NOW,
SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE ON SABBATICAL, GO, GO, GO!
-WHO, WHO? -HYPATIA! DUDE, OUT,
NO CIVVIES ON BRIDGE, GO, THANK YOU, AND COME AGAIN,
[ GROANS ]
-[ SIGHS ]
[ SIGHS ]
-ARE THE RULES IN THE HANDBOOK NOT CLEAR,
OR DO YOU JUST HAVE NO REGARD FOR FOLLOWING THEM?
-NO, T-T-THEY'RE VERY CLEAR, MA'AM,
-THEN WHY WERE YOU TOUCHING MY TELESCOPE?
-I HADN'T COME UP HERE YET,
UH, TODD WAS SUPPOSED TO BRING ME, BUT,,,
-I HOPE YOU'RE NOT COMING UP HERE TO SMOKE,
-I-I DON'T REALLY SMOKE, -GOOD THING,
YOU HOLD YOUR CIGARETTE LIKE A MIDDLE-SCHOOL GIRL,
-T-T-THEY'RE LIKE MARTINIS, YOU KNOW?
I LIKE THE IDEA MORE THAN THE ACTUAL THING,
-FASCINATING,
I'VE BEEN SAYING I'M GONNA FIX THIS THING FOR YEARS,
THE GREATS USED TO BUILD THEIR OWN,
I SHOULD AT LEAST BE ABLE TO FIX ONE,
-THE GREATS? -[ BLOWS ]
GALILEO, COPERNICUS, KEPLER -- THE ONES PEOPLE REMEMBER,
-HYPATIA,
-THEY STILL CALL ME THAT?
IT'S AN IRONIC NICKNAME,
HYPATIA WAS THE MOST ACCOMPLISHED
PHILOSOPHER AND SCIENTIST IN ANTIQUITY,
PERHAPS IN MY YOUNGER YEARS, IT FIT,
-WHAT'S YOUR REAL NAME?
-JESSICA,
SOMETHING TELLS ME YOU'RE NOT HERE
SECURING YOUR PLACE IN JANITORIAL POSTERITY,
-[ CHUCKLES ]
-SOMETHING ELSE?
TELL ME IT'S NOT A GIRL,
-WELL --
-OH, GOD,
YOU UNDERSTAND THIS IS A PLACE FOR NOBLE PURSUITS,
LIKE THE PURSUIT OF KNOWLEDGE
AND UNDERSTANDING OF THE UNIVERSE?
-AND NOT FOR MARTINIS AND CIGARETTES?
-[ LAUGHS ]
-HOW FAR CAN THIS THING SEE?
-I'VE OBSERVED AS DEEP AS 3,2 BILLION YEARS,
LIKE A TIME MACHINE PROBING INTO THE PAST,
EVERYTHING WE SEE COMING IN FROM THE SPACE AROUND US IS THE PAST,
EVEN SUNLIGHT IS EIGHT MINUTES OLD,
-WHAT ABOUT FIVE YEARS, SEPTEMBER 14th?
I'D LIKE TO SEE WHAT SOMETHING LOOKED LIKE
ON THAT DAY FIVE YEARS AGO,
-ALPHA CENTAURI'S ABOUT FOUR AWAY,
BUT YOU DON'T NEED A TELESCOPE TO SEE IT,
-[ CHUCKLES ]
-THERE, THE BRIGHTEST STAR IN THE SKY --
4,4 LIGHT YEARS AWAY,
-SO FOUR YEARS AGO,
I-IT COULD HAVE EXPLODED INTO A SUPERNOVA
AND WE'D ONLY JUST NOW BE FINDING OUT?
-NOT LIKELY,
ACTUALLY, IT'S A BINARY SYSTEM --
TWO STARS SO CLOSE TOGETHER
THAT TO THE NAKED EYE, THEY APPEAR AS ONE,
SO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
-UH, I THOUGHT I'D FIND MY CALLING,
-AS A JANITOR?
-I-I HAD THIS FANTASY
THAT BEING HERE WOULD IGNITE SOME PART OF MY BRAIN
THAT I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT, AND SUDDENLY,
WITHOUT ANY MATHEMATICAL OR SCIENTIFIC SKILL,
UH, SOME ASTRONOMICAL SUPERHERO WOULD EMERGE,
LIKE IT WAS ALWAYS MEANT TO BE IF,,,
IF I WOULD JUST HAVE THE GUTS TO FINALLY GIVE IT A TRY,
-[ LAUGHS ]
YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT?
-YEAH, -THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS,
-IT CAN,
IT HAS WITH CHARLOTTE,
-CHARLOTTE?
[ SCOFFS ]
[ SIGHS ]
MINE WAS NICHOLAS,
HE WAS A GRAD STUDENT HERE WHEN I FIRST ARRIVED,
I COULD NOT CONCENTRATE WHEN HE WAS AROUND,
IT WAS -- IT WAS LIKE THE ENTIRE INTELLECTUAL CAPACITY
OF MY BRAIN WENT KAPUT,
-WELL, WHAT HAPPENED?
-OH, NOTHING,
-NOTHING?
-WELL, WHERE WAS IT GONNA LEAD?
I WAS GONNA BE THE NEXT --
-HYPATIA OF ALEXANDRIA? -GOD WILLING,
I WAS SURE THAT'S WHAT I WAS MEANT TO DO,
THERE WAS NO TIME FOR DISTRACTIONS,
-HOW DID YOU FIGURE THAT OUT?
-I KNEW WHERE TO LOOK,
YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES LOOKING AS FAR AWAY AS WE CAN
IS JUST A WAY OF IGNORING WHAT'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF US,
-[ SIGHS ]
[ CLEARS THROAT ] [ KNOCKS AT DOOR ]
-NOW BATTING, NUMBER 44,,,
-COME WITH ME,
-[ SIGHS ]
UH, WHAT'S, UH --
-YOU'RE FIRED,
YEAH, HERE'S A SEVERANCE CHECK,
AND NO, SEVERANCE FOR A MAINTENANCE PROFESSIONAL
IS NOT THE NORM,
THERE'S MORE FOR YOU THAN THIS,
BEGONE,
-* SLOW AND EXPOSED
* LIKE A SNAIL CROSSING ON
* A FOOTPATH AFTER THE RAIN
* YOU'RE ALL ALONE
* WITH SO FAR TO GO
* UNTIL YOU REACH GREEN AGAIN
* TAKE COVER, TAKE COVER
* TAKE COVER IN THE THOUGHT THAT YOU *
* ARE NEEDED ON THE OTHER SIDE
* WELL, I'M JUST A FRIEND
* AND IT'S HARDLY ENOUGH
* BUT I'LL TRY TO CHEER YOU ON
* WELL, I KNOW THAT I'D GIVE BACK *
* AT LEAST HALF AS MUCH
* AS WHAT YOU GIVE IN YOUR SONGS *
* TAKE COVER, TAKE COVER
* TAKE OVER IN THE THOUGHT THAT YOU *
* ARE NEEDED ON THE OTHER SIDE
-[ WHISTLING ]
-NOW IT'S TIME TO ADD THE ONION,
KEEP STIRRING AND PUT FOUR CLOVES OF GARLIC
IN THE POT,
BUT YOU REALLY WANT IT TO BE ABLE TO SWEAT
WITHOUT BREAKING DOWN,
IF IT BECAME DISCOLORED, YOU SHOULD STOP AND START OVER,
THIS WILL TAKE BETWEEN 15 MINUTES AND A HALF-HOUR,
THIS ISN'T A SAUCE YOU CAN DO IN A HURRY,
YOU WANT TO DO IT THE RIGHT WAY,
[ LAPTOP CLOSES ] -[ SIGHS ]
[ ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ]
-* HE MAY COME, BUT DON'T GET TOO CLOSE *
* OH, DOWNTOWN, WAITING FOR THE ONE HE KNOWS *
* OH, OH
* HE'S GOT SOMETHING YOU CAN'T SEE *
* OH, OH
* HAVE A DRINK, AND THEN THEY LEAVE *
* OH, WHOA, WHOA
* HE CRASHES IN AGAIN AND AGAIN *
* HE'S JUST SOME BOY
* HE'S ONLY SOME BOY
* MAKING HIS MOVE
* THINKS HE CAN'T LOSE
* HE'S JUST SOME BOY
* HE'S ONLY SOME BOY
* HE'S JUST SOME BOY
* HE'S ONLY SOME BOY
* SOME BOY
[ LAUGHS ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THANK YOU, [ LAUGHS ]
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, OKAY? -YEAH, I'LL SEE YOU LATER,
-OKAY, YEAH, YEAH, I'LL SEE YOU LATER,
-THIS WOULD BE SO MUCH EASIER IF YOU WOULD JUST TO YELL AT ME
AND MAKE A HUGE SCENE,
I DESERVE THAT AT LEAST,
-I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DESERVE,
-I TRIED WITH US,
HEY, I-I WENT AND WORKED AT THAT, UH, OBSERVATORY,
-DO YOU HAVE SOME SORT OF PLAN?
-I THINK SO,
-I KNOW, YOU NEED YOUR MAGIC,
FUCKING METS FANS, MAN, [ LAUGHS ]
IT WOULD'VE BEEN FUN TO LIVE WITH YOU IN THE MOUNTAINS,
HEY,
THANKS FOR THE SONG,
READY? -OKAY, YEAH,
[ SIZZLING ]
-HEY, UH, KEEP YOUR PINCHED FINGERS IN,
YOU KNOW, WATCH,
DICE THESE AND BRING THEM UP TO ME,
AND DON'T BE A PINCHE PUTO,
-[ SPEAKS SPANISH ]
-[ LAUGHS ]
-OKAY, WEY,
NOW WE MAKE THE CAESAR,
DO YOU THINK YOU CAN WHISK?
THERE YOU GO, THERE YOU GO,
THERE, YOU KEEP GOING,
AH, DON'T LET IT BREAK!
YOU NEED MORE PRACTICE, WEY,
[ LAUGHS ]
THERE YOU GO, THERE YOU GO,
[ LAUGHS ]
GOOD JOB,
YOU'RE NOT SUCH A PUTO FOR BEING A PUTO,
[ SPEAKS SPANISH ]
YOU NEED KNIVES,
-NOW, TOO MUCH WATER, YOU'RE GONNA DROWN THAT CANDLE, OKAY?
AND THAT'S BAD, BUT NOT ENOUGH, IT'S GONNA STICK TO THE BOTTOM,
IT'S GONNA GET ALL WAXY, YOU'RE GONNA SPEND
YOUR WHOLE SETUP TIME SCRAPING, ALL RIGHT?
I'M GONNA LEAVE YOU WITH ONE
AND BE RIGHT BACK TO SEE HOW YOU'RE DOING,
I THINK YOU'RE GONNA BE GREAT,
-FANTASTIC,
-SALMON, MEDIUM-RARE,
I'M SURE THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED,
[ LAUGHTER ]
HOW'S IT GOING, MAN?
YEAH, SEE YOU TOMORROW,
CHARLOTTE,
LET ME JUST EXPLAIN MYSELF, AND THEN I PROMISE I'LL LEAVE,
-IT TAKE YOU FOUR MONTHS TO TRACK ME DOWN,
OR FOUR MONTHS TO BUILD UP THE GUTS?
-I'M SORRY I LEFT,
IT'S JUST,,,
THE CORNER OFFICE WITH THE JOB,
[ SIGHS ] IT WASN'T ME,
IT W-WAS SOME SUIT-WEARING HOTEL-SUITE GUY,
THE ONLY TIME I EVER FELT LIKE I DIDN'T WANT YOU BACK
WAS WHEN I'D SEEN THAT YOU'D FALLEN FOR HIM,
[ CHUCKLES ]
IT WAS ALL FOR YOU, TO GET YOU BACK,
-THAT'S NEVER WHAT I WANTED FROM YOU,
-YES, IT WAS,
BUT I KNOW IT'S NOT WHO YOU ARE,
THIS IS,
I ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU'D WORK AT A GALLERY, YOU KNOW?
I NEVER STOPPED BELIEVING THAT IT'S GOT TO BE YOU,
IT'S JUST -- IT'S GOT TO BE ME, TOO,
THERE'S A CERTAIN ORDER AND BEAUTY TO THE UNIVERSE,
THE WAY THINGS MOVE,
ORBITS AND PATTERNS PREDETERMINED FOR EONS --
MORE, EVEN,
200 BILLION STARS IN OUR GALAXY
AND THE BILLIONS MORE BEYOND
STILL HOLD THEIR WONDER FOR ME,
BUT MY TRUE COURSE, THE ONE I CHART --
IT'S SET IN MOTION,
AND I'M READY --
READY FOR WHATEVER COMES NEXT,
-* KICK THE DUST OFF YOUR BACK AND DON'T LOOK BACK *
* GIVE ALL THE DOUBTERS YOU KNOW A FAKE HEART ATTACK *
* 'CAUSE YOU WERE MADE FOR THIS *
* YOU CAN FEEL IT INSIDE YOUR BONES *
* YOU WERE MADE FOR THIS
* AND IT'S TIME YOU LET THE WORLD KNOW *
* WHO YOU ARE, WHAT YOU KNOW
* IT'S HAPPENING, RIGHT NOW SO
* RUN, RUN, IT'S A NEW DAY
* OH-OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH-OH
* RUN, RUN, IT'S TIME TO EMBRACE *
* OH-OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH-OH
* BREATHE, BREATHE, IN AND OUT
* AND LOVE, LOVE, LET IT ALL OUT *
* OH-OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH-OH
* THE SUN IS CREEPING IN
* LET IT SINK IN YOUR HEART
* EVERYONE IS TAKEN, SO BE WHO YOU ARE *
* 'CAUSE YOU WERE MADE FOR THIS *
* YOU CAN FEEL IT INSIDE YOUR SOUL *
* YOU WERE MADE FOR THIS
* SO WHATCHA, WHATCHA WAITING FOR? *
* IT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW, SO,,, *
* RUN, RUN, IT'S A NEW DAY
* OH-OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH-OH
* RUN, RUN, IT'S TIME TO EMBRACE *
* OH-OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH-OH
* BREATHE, BREATHE, IN AND OUT
* AND LOVE, LOVE, LET IT ALL OUT *
* OH-OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH-OH
* LET IT OUT
* OH-OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH-OH
* LET THE LIGHT
* FADE INTO
* ALL THE COLORS
* THAT MAKE YOU
* LET THE LIGHT
* FADE INTO
* ALL THE COLORS
* THAT MAKE YO-O-O-O-OU
* RUN, RUN, IT'S A NEW DAY
* OH-OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH-OH
* RUN, RUN, IT'S TIME TO EMBRACE *
* OH-OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH-OH
* RUN, RUN, IT'S A NEW DAY
* OH-OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH-OH
* RUN, RUN, IT'S TIME TO EMBRACE *
* OH-OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH-OH
* BREATHE, BREATHE, IN AND OUT
* AND LOVE, LOVE, LET IT ALL OUT *
* OH-OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH-OH
* JUST LET IT OUT
* OH-OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH-OH
* LET IT OUT