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Oh, son of a bitch!
Yeah, that's me, Johnny Jones Junior,
As you can see, I love blow, That big fat rail that just went
up my nose,,, it's just the first of many for the day,
Make no mistake, coke is both a requirement and a sin to boot,
But, I know right from wrong, No one is perfect,,, especially me,
That's Rebecca, my hot Latina girlfriend, Don't let the blonde
hair fool ya,, she's one hot little chili pepper,
She's mi hermosa, mi amor, (my girlfriend, my love)
Most importantly, she's mi vida,
Now in English that basically means she's the love of my life,
the most beautiful woman in the world,
We've known each other since grade school,
We've been inseparable ever since,
I guess you could say we are co-dependent, All I know for
sure is, I'd die without her,
She's a little materialistic,,, but most of the beautiful ones
are, right?
AAAAAA,,, MOTHER FUCKER!
That's my old man, Johnny Jones Senior,
A real life walkin' "talkin" satan,
Evilest man who ever walked the Earth,
I often thought I saw horns coming out of his head,
I have no idea why mom stayed with him all
those years,,, I suspect she was trapped by fear,
MOTHER FUCKER!
My sweet mother, the salt of the Earth,
Not a mean bone in her body,,, the most spiritual God
fearin' woman you'd ever meet, I guess that's where I got my
calling,,, every Wednesday and Sunday you could count on it,
we'd be sittin' in church,
Let me rewind this back to the beginning,,,
Now that you know a little about me,,, let's go back
to where Rebecca and I decided to take a little trip
Westward,,,
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah,
Can I get an Amen?
Amen!
The Lord says let the sick be healed, let the poor be rich
and let the broken hearted be renewed,
Now I say to you today, God's people,
if you are among the sick, if you are among the poor, if you
are among the broken spirited I want you to rise up and come on
down to the front with me, Rise up I say in the name of the
Lord, Come on, Jesus wants to heal you,
Be gone devil of illness he says to one, May your cup runneth
over he says to another, Be healed all of God's children,
Be healed and renewed in Jesus name I say,
God is entering you now brothers and sisters,
can you feel it?
Yes!
The devil wants you to resist it, don't
you let him, Let the fire of the Lord God almighty cover you in
the blood of Jesus Christ the Messiah,,,
Hallelujah!
Can you feel the healing that's
taking place in this church today? I can feel it,
Sister, do you believe? I want you to feel fire of the
Lord Jesus Christ blazing through my hands,,,
Lord Almighty release this woman from the bondage of
her chair, Put the fire of Jesus in her legs, Lord hear me,
Heal this woman, Thank you Lord, for all,,,
Now sister, trust in the Lord, Everything will be okay, c'mon,
Lord has you, Don't be afraid, That's right,
- Oh Lord, - Witness brothers and sisters,
I'm walking,,, I'm walking,
Reverend, you've healed me,
Oh, no ma'am, no ma'am, God has saved you,
I'm merely an instrument for the holy spirit,
A servant of the Lord almighty, Praise God,
Did you see that God's people?
Amen!
Did you see the miracle of God's glory that just took place right
in front of your very eyes? Thank you Jesus, Praise God,
Praise be to God,
The healing hands of the Lord radiate through me,
He strengthens the weak and makes his people the meek,
He delivers us from all evil, He is the rock, the rock of ages,
Praise be to Jesus, Praise be to God,
Now I never like to close without givin' thanks to the
Lord first, so as the offering baskets are making their way
around today I want to encourage each and every one of you to
give, and give again, and then give just a little more until
your heart is satisfied because remember what the Lord says,
the seed you sew today will be returned to you 100 fold,
Blessed are the meek who put their faith in the Lord,
Can I get an Hallelujah?
Hallelujah!
Let us pray,,,
May the love of God always be above you, to overshadow
you, beneath you to uplift you, before you to guide you, and
behind you to protect you,,, In Jesus name, our savior, to whom
glory be now and forever more, I say Amen,
Go in peace brothers and sisters,
Oh,,, Son of a bitch!
Hey babe, how much do you think we made off with?
Why you gotta say it like that? You know that's how the Lord
provides, baby,
Looks like a couple of grand, Should be enough to last us a
few weeks,
Why don't you count it yourself if you care so damn much,
Puta Madre Johnny! Half of this is gonna go up your nose,
You never buy me shit, I want a new purse and some of
those new boots that all the girls have been wearing,,,
you are so lucky that you have a woman that puts up with
your shit,,,, Pinche Guero, (whitey)
I tell ya what baby we're headed to Albuquerque next,
stop at the mall or somewhere, get ya whatever ya want,
But, I gotta make a few more stops first,
A lot of good little churches in this part of the country,
We should be able to make out like banditos,
Hey babe, do you remember my fifteenth?
Yeah, I remember the party, Didn't your uncle get all
drunk and smash up the piñata with a baseball bat?
All the little kids got candy, he got a boot in the ass from
your daddy,
Ay, Teo Chewy, He was my favorite,
He loved us kids, After my father was killed, he looked
after me and my mom, I will always love him for that,
Yeah, he was a good guy,
He lost his wife pretty early in life and, and just,,, that drove
him to being a borracho, (drunk)
Yeah, I get it, I mean if I ever lost you I'd,,,
go crazy,,, just kill me,
I love you, mi amor,
I love you too,
How ya'll doin'? Come on in, Don't be shy, Ma'am, there's a,,,
She's fine buddy! Where you keep the agave at?
If you mean tequila,
it's right there in the corner, You can't miss it,
I keep the pints back here, I got some sales on half
gallons,,, douche bag,
Fuck me!
I got all you can handle,
Hey! What the hell you think you are lookin' at? Huh?
You think I can't see you eye fuckin' her?
You ought to take it as a compliment,,, don't be such a
fuckin' hot head,
Aw, did you really just fuckin' say that? You dumb fuckin'
You dumb fuckin' country rube, I ought to come back there
and rip your fuckin' head off,
Come on,,,
Keep the change, motherfucker!
Ya'll come back now, ya hear,
Ah, shit, No fuckin' way,
All right, I'll be right back,
Good evening, my son, Your vacancy sign is lit up brighter
than a Las Vegas Casino,
Good evening Father, I can call you Father? Right?
I ain't a father in the biological or the
Catholic sense, but you call me pastor,
reverend,,, just don't call me a son-of-a-bitch is all,,,
the wife and I need a room for the night,
Oh, sure,
How much is that gonna cost me?
Just so happens that we have our best room available,
And you know what, just for you,,,
I can do a special discount of thirty nine a night,
There's fifty and keep the change, Why don't you keep the
T&A off your mind while you are at work son,
I could see what you were doin',
Don't you know that Internet porno shit will rot your brain?
Keep it clean,
Might need a wake up call in the morning, I'll let ya know,
Sure Father, uh, Reverend, Room One,
Uh, Father,,, I was wondering if you could help me
with something?
Sure my son, what can I do for ya?
Look I,,, I know this is gonna be strange coming from a guy you
just met at a motel, But you know me and my, my old lady
we've been,,, we've been fighting a lot lately,
I,,, If shit doesn't change, I,,, I'm gonna lose her,,,
she's,,, she's gonna leave me,
Could you,,, pray for us?
You know do like whatever you spiritual people do? Only if you
want to, Father, You know what, I'm sorry, I'm way out of
line,,, I shouldn't have said anything,,,
Give me your hand and bow your head kid, C'mon,,, uhhhh,
other hand,
Father Almighty, come to this young man in his hour of
despair, heal him and his lady, Teach them the wisdom to act
together, Bestow upon them the power of compromise and,,,
In Jesus name we pray, Amen,
Thank you! Thank you so much!
If you need anything at all,,, anything, just,,, just dial zero,
Go in faith son,,,, Go in faith,
What was that about? I saw you in there
praying with that guy, Let me guess, money problems?
Pobrecito, I wish we were rich and we could help everybody,
Yeah, it's just some a,,, poor soul
having trouble with his girlfriend, asked for a little
help from above, And we are rich, Alright, just keep saying
that, Speak words into existence and one day it'll be true,
Just watch and see, just watch and see,
- We are rich, - We are rich,
God damn baby can ya please just bring it
down a notch? I'm trying work on my sermon, I need to
focus on this shit, please,
Shut the hell up Johnny, You never let me
have any fun, What's up your ass any way?
You ever get the feeling that God's giving me a purpose?
Maybe God gave me a gift, That woman,,, in the chair, she got
up and walked after I touched her, I always think they're
bullshittin' but, maybe they were all healed, I mean maybe
God gave me,,, a gift, When I was a little kid I used to think
I could heal animals, Maybe even raise the dead, Becca I really
think God's given me the power,
You know what I think? I think you put too much of that shit up
your nose,
Yeah but sometimes it seems like I will live forever
and sometimes it feels like death is right around the corner
just waitin' to jump on me,
I'll never see it comin', But I do believe in life after death,
,,,Maybe you're right, maybe I'm just going nuts but, am I crazy
for believing these things? Only God knows the truth, It's not
like I'm first guy to ever get the power, ya know,,,
Look at me Johnny,,, I don't just want a
boyfriend, I want a husband, I want a family, Whether you are
touched by an angel or just an evangelist,
It doesn't matter to me,
I want to settle down, I'm tired of this life on the road,
Johnny,
I know, baby, In time, Princess, I promise,
It's all in good time,
You expect me to eat this shit? You want mine?
Shut up! Shut up!
Hey, Hey!
It's me,,, Hey, it's okay, It's me,,, you were having a
nightmare, It's okay, It's me, Relax, it's okay, Nobody's gonna
hurt you, You're okay, It was just a nightmare, Let me get you
some water,
Drink it baby,,,
It's okay,,,,
You're fine,
Baby I've been having these weird dreams,
I don't know how to explain 'em, It doesn't make any sense
and,,, and there's these other dreams where its me as a little
kid with my dad, I don't understand it,
Maybe you need to check into a mental hospital or go see a
shrink,
Go see a shrink, You fuckin' kiddin' me?
Are you even listening to me? You understand what I'm talking
about? These dreams are drivin' me fuckin' crazy, And look all
This shit is all you fuckin" care about, God damnit,
MOTHERFUCKER that's,,,!
Stare in the fuckin' mirror all God damn day,,, you don't give a
- You know what? - Shit about me, You fuckin",,,-
Look at that, huh?
You,,, God damn fuckin' bitch,,, I swear to fuckin' God,
- You gonna hit me now, huh? - Fuckin' shit,,,
You gonna hit me now like your dad used to beat you?
God damn it,,, Fuck!
Hey,,, Hey, I'm sorry,,, I shouldn't have said that,
Hey Rev, I don't know what the hell you did man, but thank
you, Last night after I got off work me,,, me and my 'ole lady
we made up,,, I, we're talkin' about gettin' married,,, yeah,
isn't that the fuckin' shit?
Padre, You okay? You look a little pale,
I'm fine son,,, remember compromise, that's the key,
Watch yourself,
OK hear ya,,, I hear ya,
There ya go man, Hey, ah,,, what can I get for ya boss?
Ah,, Double tequila,
Double tequila,,, startin' out early today,
Yes sir,
There ya go boss,
You ain't from around here are ya?
Nah mister I'm just passin' through,,, Not a whole
lot here for a guy like me,
I hear ya,,, ain't a lot for anybody in
this piss ant little town, I came through here about twenty
years ago to get a drink,,, I'm still here, So watch out,
Yeah, can I go again? Keep the change,
Yea, yea sure,
You okay man?
Yea, slick, I'm fine, Why don't ya just,,, mind your
own damn business, Alright?
I,,, I don't feel much like talkin',
You got it,
So, what's up dog? You want a piece of this
action or you just gonna stand here watchin' this ass whippin'
I'm given to my home boy, right here,
Nah dog,,, he don't want any of this,
Where'd you get that ugly ass shirt?
Your 'ole lady left it at my place, asshole,
Oh 'kay, so it's like that,
Look, I was wondering if you guys may be able to help me out?
Help you out,,, what do you mean, help you out?
You know where I can score a little a,,,
little action?
So the little boy is lookin' for some party tonight,,,
Nope, not, not exactly,,, I need about ten of these,
If you know what I mean,
Look man, are you the fuckin' five-o
or something? What makes you think we got the hookup?
Just because we look the part means we are?
I mean you think you can just walk into a place, put in
an order and BAM you're gonna have it right there?
You gotta be fuckin' high man,
I ain't, I ain't a fuckin' cop,
Alright you either got the shit or you don't,
What's it gonna be? I ain't got time to fuck around,
This motherfucker is a pig,
I can smell him, I'm still on probation, I don't need this
shit,
Look man, I think you might be alright,
Time will tell,
Here is a little bump for you,
I might be able to help you out,
You got the money?
Yeah!
No credit card shit, bro,
It's all cash, I got it,
Straight bank, bro,
- Yeah, - You feel me?
- Yea, - Good, There is an old warehouse
three blocks down, Meet me in the alley in about an hour and
I'll have what you need, For that much powder bro, It's gonna
cost you about a G, So everything I am asking you for,
is don't forget the c-notes,
Yeah,
No bullshit, right?,,,, Good,
May I help you? What ya need
mac, ya lookin' for some heat?
Uh, yeah, I need a nine, maybe a forty-five,
Son-of-a-bitch, shit fire and save the matches,
I jus,,,, I just missed the hole again,
You are gonna have to excuse my ole man, he's my business
partner and he is the resident gunsmith, But a, frankly his
gettin' a little senile ya know,,,
I heard that, shit head,
He heard it, he's gonna forget it though in a few
minutes, Hey we have all kinds of guns here, We got nines, we
got forty-fives, we got Smith & Wesson, we got Glock, we got
Desert Eagle, If you can think about it, we got it, Look a,,,
that old Caddy you drove up in,,, I couldn't help but
notice,,, where'd you get that?
That belonged to my 'ole man, Uh, that a 1911?
Can I see that one?
What year is that? Yea, I used
to have one of those back in the day, Ya know, I laid more pipe
in that car, than a plumber, Get it? A plumber,
Shut up,
How many extra clips come with this one?
Um, you get one with the gun and then one extra comes with it,
You know my wife made me sell my old '67 when we got married,
How much?
She hated that car,
I mean out the door,,, how much? Cash money,
The Colt is a good choice for you sir,
I'm going to say four hundred dollars,,, even,
But I gotta tell ya something here,,, this gun it
came in from off the street,,,
some gentleman came in, didn't even have an I,D, So, for all I
know,,, motherfucker could be hot, Now that, is what ya call
full disclosure,
Hey man, you got the dinero or what?
Better have them Benjamins, yo,
They ain't Benjamin's, but I got ya about fifty General Grants,
Okay, good good, Dog you're going to love
this blow man, I got it from my boy Rod,
It's just straight up from some fine ass Colombian ho',
Yeah, if that shit breaks in one of those ho's stomach,
they die quick, Hope no one has to die quick today homey,
You sure you ain't the five-o cuz?
You don't look like no junky,
We all got our vices brother, Mine just happens to be powder,
It takes me up to heaven, even if it's just for a little bit,
I'm in a hurry so if we could get on with it,
Jesus, hey hey, come on man,
Alright motherfucker, give me the money, All of it, Or that
ho' that bought you that ugly ass shirt, may never see your
sorry ass again,
I don't want any trouble, I just want the shit,
Just give me the shit, and I will give you the money,
Hey dog, are you gonna get your ass killed or what?
Okay, Just give 'em the motherfuckin' money,
Hey, you want the money?
I'm so sorry, Lord Almighty help me, Help this man,
please Lord, Save this young man please Lord, Please, Oh, no, no,
no, no,,, God, Jesus, please oh Lord, Please let me save this
man, Don't let this man die God, please, Please Lord, Please hear
me merciful God, Save this man and forgive me for what I've
done, Please Lord, it's not his time yet,
Please God hear me,
Oh Lord please, Lord, Chapter 16, oh Lord,,, they shall take
up serpents, and they shall drink any deadly thing that
shall not harm them, and they shall lay hands on the sick and
they shall be healed, Please, Amen Jesus, Please Lord,
In Jesus name, please, I believe,
Lord Almighty, hear my prayer, Please Lord,
Please believe, Oh God, please,
Are you? Are you?
Becca! Hey! where are you? Come on, we gotta get our
shit,,, we gotta get fuck outta here,
Oh, Johnny are you trying to give me a heart attack?
No, I'm really serious Becca, come on,
Get dressed, Come on, We gotta get the fuck outta here, right
now, Come on! I don't got time for your shit,
I'll explain on the road, Come on! You understand?
We gotta go right fuckin' now,
What the? I need some,,, a few minutes to get ready,
Stop! I don't need your shit, Come on, Just hurry up,
Are you listening? Come on! Get dressed,,, Jesus Christ,
Are you going to tell me what the hell is going on?
You just barge in, treat me like fucking shit,,,
and then you just want to run off like you robbed a bank,
- Just shut the fuck,,,, - What the hell is going on?
- No, - Shut the fuck up for minute, okay?
I just had some really weird shit happen and I
just need a minute to think, Okay?
You know what? Keep this shit up!
Because, I'm gonna be on a bus back to Texas,,, really soon,
I just tried to buy some coke and I ended up shooting a guy,
Alright? I shot a guy but he's okay,
- Are you insane? - I, I pu, I put,
my hands on him and he healed, okay? Healed 'em, and he walked
away, I don't know how,,, but, it's true, Just don't worry,
We'll go get us some food,,, everything is gonna be okay,
Alright!,,, God damn, piece of shit,,,
Awwwwww!
Piece of shit,
Shut the fuck up, alright?
You shut up,,, I hate your face,
Hi, can I get you something to drink?
I'll take iced tea, non-sweet, extra lemon please,
I'll have a water, no ice,
I'll be right back with your drinks,
You never told me how you got the gun,
Was that a divine miracle too, or did you lie to me?
I got it from a pawn shop, okay,
Alright?
I need a little extra protection,
Speaking of which, runnin' low on funds,
I got enough for about another week, might have to sell my
watch, We need to hit another church soon,
Order up!
Anything good in that paper?
Not unless you mean a painter or a handyman needed,,,
Pinche Guerros are too damn lazy in this country,
Let me see it, You don't know where to look,
Ahhhh,
Pendejo! Whatever, Johnny the Baptist,,,
you know everything,
Look,,, right there, Big as fuckin' Dallas,,,
Pastor needed, First Church of the Believers, apply in person
contact Mary O'Neal in the church office, Monday's
and Wednesday's nine to five, 362 Main Street,
That's us, bingo! The Lord is on our side, He really is,
I hope you know that, It may seem fucked up at times but,
He always provides,
Afraid I lost ya out on the road back there,,,
Johnny what you said, it really messed with my head,
I don't know how much longer I can take this shit,
I'm starting to freak out, okay? This fantasma cucu crap is esta
loco, Estas loco, (is crazy, crazy)
I love you,
Tell ya what, I'll make ya a bet, I pick out a song on that
jukebox and you get up here and dance with me,
I never get to dance with the girl I love,
And what is the bet?
Two pairs of boots,,, instead of one, if ya dance,
You think I'm scared? I'm not scared,
This Latina isn't scared of shit, I will dance naked for
those boots,
- Oh yeah? - Um hum,
Ya might have to,
This could be a big one for us baby, We really need it,
Runnin' low, Wish me luck,
Okay, Okay Mrs, Taylor,,, I'll get that out to you right away,
Oh, and God Bless, Yes, uh huh, Bye Bye now,
Howdy Ma'am, I'm Pastor Jones, My wife and I were having dinner
out on the highway last night and we came across your ad and
thought we'd pay ya a visit, Ya see we're headed out to
California to do the Lord's work, a little church just North
of Fresno, We had a few days free so we thought we'd stop by
and see if we could be of some assistance to you and the good
people of the church?
Bless you, Pastor, You said, Pastor Jones?
Well, Bless you too, Yes, that's right, Pastor Johnny Jones,
Originally from the Great State of Texas,
Texan, aye? My daughter married a Texan,
Oh, that's a lucky lady,
Um, yes Pastor Jones our pastor of 10 years took ill and died
last month, And we have been without guidance for three weeks
now, The associate pastor has been just overwhelmed, He's very
young, Hasn't even finished seminary yet,
Well I just, I'm so sorry to hear that, sister,
We would be delighted to have you this weekend to lead us in
guidance and in prayer if you could? The assistant has just
been booked with paying house calls and doing the job of two,
I know that he would be very happy to get a break,
Well he does the best he can with his experience, ya know?
Sister O'Neal is it?
Oh please, call me Mary, Pastor,
Mary, I would be absolutely delighted to lead the church
this Sunday, I,,, It would be the least we could do,
After all a church in need, is the Lord's church indeed,
We hit the jackpot honey,,, house full of Baptist just dying
to give to the Lord, We're on for this Sunday,
Maybe now I can get my new purse and shoes?
Yeah, I'll get your damn boots,
Ahhh,,, thank you God,
Hey honey, hurry up in there,,, I gotta take a shit,
That burger yesterday isn't sittin' right,
In a minute,
Jumpin' Jesus, Thank God, I was about to explode,
Gross, Esta Cochino Marano, (you filthy pig)
Hey honey,,, why don't ya pick out one of your best dresses to
wear this Sunday?
What do you mean? All of my dresses are cute,
Yea, I know but I,,, I really want to impress these people,
Okay, I'll see what I can do,
Yea, it could be a big haul for us,
Mmm, you smell good,,, why don't you go pick out a dress?
Ahhh, yes,
Which one do you think I should wear on Sunday?
Ahhhhh um,,,
Do you think we will ever get married, Johnny? We've been
together forever now, I'm ready,
Do you want to have kids?
You sure know how to end the night, dont'cha? Look I promise
as soon as I'm ready for all that, I'll let you know first,
I still got my new purse and boots, right?
Yes, you get your new purse and boots,,, because you're my
princess, But, right now I needa little R,F,P,
What is R,F,P,?
Uh, Rebecca's fantastic pussy,
Get over here,
Honey,,,
Hmm?
I'm gonna take the car out for a few hours to get some
girl stuff, Do you need anything?
No but, hurry up and get your ass back here quick,
I gotta get my suit dry cleaned for Sunday,
Okay, grumpy, I'll be back pronto,
Bye,
Ay, ay, ay, ay, canta y no llores,
(yes, yes, yes, Sing and don't cry)
AHH! MOTHER FUCKER!
I told Little Johnny I don't want that fuckin' dog in
the house,
- That's enough, - Literally, tie it up,
Fuck,,, Shut the fuck up,
I don't give a shit,
Get away from me,
No, you come here bitch,
I hate you,
Where the fuck you going?
I'm just trying to get away from you!
Okay,
Bueno? (hello)
Hey Mom, it's me, Becca,
Ay, Mija,,, I've been so worried about you,
It's been like two weeks since you've called me,
Donde estas, Mija?
I'm here in Nuevo Mexico with Johnny,
Mija, El es el diablo, (he is the devil)
Everything is going to be okay,
We just need some time,
We talk about marriage and ninas one day,,,
Okay, mi amor,,, just take of yourself, Promise me that,
if you need anything, that you're going to call me,
Si Mama, I promise, Mom, I have to let you go, I'm gonna do some
shopping, But, I love you, okay?
Okay, mi amor, Te amo, Te quiero mucho, (I love you very much)
Bye mama, te quiero,
Adios, mija,
Hey Baby,,, you get your beauty sleep?
Yea, I gotta get my suit cleaned,
You get all your ladies stuff?
I did, I also got my boots,
Whhhhaaat?
I saved you a trip to the mall,
Yea, I don't have to hear about that any more,
I talked to my mom too,
How's she doin'?
She's fine, Um, she's just worried about me,
Just being a typical mom,
God damn baby, I love your mama, Sweetest woman on the planet,
Nobody's got a bigger heart than her,
I guess I got her to thank for your lovely personality,
And that's a turn on, You know most guys got fat bitchy old
ladies,
Well mister, what if I turn bitchy, fat, and ugly?
Ah, I don't see that happening,
Ah, this piece of shit,
Ah mother,,, just needs a little love, There it goes,
I'm tired, I'm tired of this,,,
Yea, you know what? I'm fuckin' tired too,
- Well I just,,, - Stop talkin', fuck!
You know what? It's none of your fuckin'
business how much money there is left,
Why not?
Or what the fuck I did with it, alright?
- It is my business,,, - you're not doing shit,
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!
What are you doing in the middle of the God damn fuckin' road?
Shit, Fuck, Fuckin' insurance?
Well, Mister miracle man,,, are you going to prove it to me now?
What are you trying to be funny?
What?
What about the bullshit,,,
,,,Shut the fuck up, Just shut up,
Uh, fuck you!
Ah, God, Heavenly Father, heal this man,
Descend upon this man's leg, Heal his broken limb,
Put the fire of Jesus in my hands,
Heal this man, Lord, Heal this man,
I'm healed,
Just,,, just get out of here,
- I,,, you healed me, - Here,,, just go, just leave,
Who are you?
Just get outta here!
You healed me,
I can't believe it, You weren't lying to me,
I'm in love with a miracle man, I'm sorry I didn't believe you,
How do I look?
You look a lot like the man that fucked me twice this morning,
Yea, I bare a strong resemblance, don't I?
Alright,
You ready?
Yea, I think so,
Let's do this,
Good morning, how are you?
Good morning, thank you for coming,
Good morning, Pastor,
Good morning, how are you, ma'am?
I am just fine, We are so happy to
have you with us this Sunday, The ladies of the church have
made lunch for you all, You will stay, won't you?
Well of course we will, I would never turned down fine
home cooked meal, So thoughtful of you
and the sisters, I can't wait,
I have prepared my special apple cobbler for you,
Aw, you are kidding me? I was just telling Rebecca how much I
miss my mama's apple cobbler,
Oh! Excellent,
Good morning, How are you?
Good morning, God bless ya,
Good morning, Thank ya for coming,
Good morning, people of the Lord,
Good morning,
I was driving here this blessed morning and I told my lovely
wife, Rebecca, how blessed we were to be welcomed into such a
fine church and community, But moreover, how blessed the people
here were to have had such a fine minster for so many years,
Hallelujah! Amen!
Now I know Pastor Mike is lookin' down
on all of us right now with a great big smile on his face,
I'm Reverend Jones and I come here today with one purpose and
one purpose only, And that purpose is to share in the power
and the glory of the holy spirit, Can I hear an Amen?
Amen!
Now I'm so often reminded of the hardships that so many of us
face throughout our lives be it pain and suffering, financial
troubles, or maybe the loss of a loved one, But here's what the
Lord says:
"Seek first the kingdom of God and his
righteousness and all these things will be made unto you,"
Let us not look at the sudden departure of Pastor Mike as a
tragedy but rather as God's will, He had bigger things in
mind for him, Amen!
Amen,
Now I'd like for you all to turn your Bible's to Malachi 3 10,
"Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, and prove me now
herewith, so sayeth the Lord of hosts, If I will not open for
you the windows of heaven and pour you out a blessing,"
Now I want you to pay attention to that verse and see how the
Lord operates, See the Lord says, if you bring a seed to be
sewn with your tithe, He in return releases the blessings he
has in store for you, Can I hear an Amen?
Amen,
See we believe in a Lord of plenty not in a Lord of
emptiness, Amen,
Amen,
In order to receive God's blessing we must all be faithful
to his promises, We all must sew that seed when we open our
hearts to bring forth a blessing unto Him,
Amen,
Now as I look out into the crowd on this beautiful Sunday, I see
a lot of tears, I see some wheelchairs, I know some of you
are in pain and need relief,
So I'm gonna ask those of you that need some healing to come
on down to the front and let me pray for ya, Take a leap of
faith, Come on, Come on, don't be afraid, Help the people
that can't get down themselves,
Don't be shy, God's waitin' for ya, Amen, Come on,
Fire!
Hallelujah! Thank you Jesus! Thank you Lord,
Fire!
Hallelujah!
Fire!
Hallelujah!
My son do you believe that you will see today?
Yes, Yes,
Do you believe in the Lord?
Uh huh,
- Yes! - I can't hear you,
Do you believe in the Lord?
Yes, Yes, Let me hear you scream it,
Yes! Yes, I believe! I believe,
The Lord almighty said said let there be light,
The Lord said let there be healing,
Fire!
Now son, when I remove my hands,
you will be healed,
Do you believe in the Lord?
Yes! Yes! Yes!
What is it my son?
I can see, I can see!
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me,
I once was lost, now I am found,
I was blind, but now I see,
Now I want to ask each and everyone of you to sew
a seed with the Lord in your hearts,
Help break down those walls keepin' you from bein' healed or
gettin' those bills paid this month, Put your trust in the
Lord that all your needs will be met, He will not let you down,
We're going to go ahead and pass around the collection plate
while the organ plays, God bless you, God bless you all,,,
Hallelujah!
(sniffing sound)
Thank ya, Sister, Thank you, Thank you,
Reverend Jones, I just want to thank you for what you
did for my brother,
It was truly a miracle, You have the gift,
I mean he's been blind since the war,
It may be a gift, But, it's a gift from God to your brother,
I'm merely an instrument of the Lord,
So how long are you in town Pastor?
I'm sad to say ma'am we gotta get movin' in the mornin',
Ya know, out to California to do some more good work for the
Lord,
Church will be open up soon,
Oh, so what is the name of your new church?
It's the Calvary Community Church just outside of Fresno,
Um hum, um ma'am, this cobbler reminds me
of my mama's, It's delicious,
Oh, you are too kind Pastor, let me get you another piece,
After all, I did make it special for you,
Bless you!
That was a close one, Mr, Jones, You better be glad I was here to
save your culo, (butt)
Yeah, you're not shittin' me, Ole' bag does make a mean
cobbler though, Here,,,
You think you will ever get caught?
Caught?
What do you mean, caught? The Lord's on our side baby,
Whatever, Johnny, We're just a modern day
Bonnie and Clyde, Heck our next home is just the next pinche
motel in the next pinche little town,
I'm tired Johnny, I want a home, I want a family,
I know honey, All that'll come,
All that'll come,
I promise but you gotta stick with me a little
bit longer,,, we're almost home free, Alright?
Are we almost there?
Yea baby, just a few more hours,
Look, you see them mountains?
When they start gettin' bigger you know we're gettin' close,
Alright? Just hang in there,
Ah shit! What does this motherfucker want?
Fuck, God damnit,
Becky, where's the coke?
In the glovebox,
And the gun too? Ah, shit,
Alright, everything is going to be okay,,, just be
cool, I'll talk us out of this, We'll be back on the road in
five minutes,
How you doin'?
License, registration, and proof of insurance,
I, uh,,, I've got my driver's license but I'm pretty
sure I left my insurance card at home,,, I, we definitely have
insurance no doubt about that,
I,,, what's the reason for pulling us over?
Your tags are expired, You know it is against the law
to operate a motor vehicle without proper registration,
proof of insurance,
I'm a pastor and me and my wife are on our way to a
revival,,, anyway you can just give us a warning?
You sure you don't have an insurance card in your glovebox?
Anywhere? An old one?
Ah, I'm, I'm pretty sure I don't,
Why, Why don't ya check?
Officer I,,,
Sir, I can not let you leave without proof of registration
and proof of insurance,
Go ahead and check your glove box,
- Wait,,, - Shit! shit, shit,,,
Oh my God! Why did you do that?
God damn,,,
Turn-a-round!
What do you mean, turn around?
You can heal him,
I'm not going back there,,,
You're gonna let him die? What the fuck is wrong with you?
Turn-a-round, Johnny!
Shut up!
Alright, I'm gonna try, I'm gonna try,
Oh, please Lord, please Lord hear me,,, I've just shot a man
and I need ya to s,,,,,, I need ya to save him Lord,
Please hear me,
Please hear me Lord,
Fuck! It's not workin', Fuck, I can feel it,
I need to lay hands on him,
We have to go back,
- Hurry up! - Alright, Alright, we gotta go back,
Shut up! Alright just,,, I got this, We're gonna be alright,
Why do you keep fucking up, Johnny?
I need ya to shut up for me, alright?
I'll get us out of this, Oh God damn piece of shit car,,,
We'll be fine,
Police are investigating the murder of a Quay County Deputy
Sheriff, While on a routine traffic stop, Deputy Danny
Hernandez was shot at point blank range by a gunman,
It is unknown who the assailant is at this time,
But, police hope to learn more after reviewing Deputy
Hernandez's onboard police camera footage,
Fuck!
Alright, we just gotta get to the border,
Alright, we'll get into Mexico, Everything will be alright,
We'll be safe there,
We just gotta drive a little bit further until it gets dark and
we'll ditch the car somewhere, Ahhhh, fuck!
I should've listened to my mom, I knew this was going to happ,,,,
Look at me, I love you, Alright, we're in this together,
I'm sorry this happened, but at this point we'd both be guilty
in the court, Alright? So I just need you to stick with me
for a little bit longer,
I'll get us out of this, I promise,
We're gonna have to ditch the car,
Okay, genius,,, then what?
There's a little town about five miles ahead,,, we're gonna walk
there, and get us a room,,, and I'll go get us something at a
used car lot, We have enough money for a cheap car,
You really expect me to walk five miles in heels? Please,
Johnny, this is too much for me, This is not okay,
Else you do this, or life in prison,
Alright? I'm tryin' to get us out of this shit, I need you,
Alright? Just hold on, Let's go,
Alright, grab our shit, Take only what we need,
Start walkin', I'll catch up,
Now what Johnny?
Just fuckin' do it, Alright?
Alright, give me your fucking shoes, Take em off,
- What? - Give me your fuckin' shoes,
Just give em to me,
These are my favorite shoes,
I don't care, Just give em to me,
Haaa! Johnny, what are you doing?
Fuck 'em,
Pendejo! You're gonna spend a whole day
with me at the mall, You know?
I could give a shit about your fuckin' shoes,
Those were priceless,
Oh, little princess, I don't care, Keep up,,,
Give me the fuckin' bag,
Fuckin' damn it,
Coming,,,
Wait for me,
Can I get a room for the night please?
Sure, fifty bucks,,,
Say a, where's your car? Better yet, where's your
luggage?
Yea, well our car broke down a couple miles back,
I had a wrecker come pick it up, drop us off here,,,
and gonna get it fixed in the morning,
I'm with my wife, she's outside talkin' to her mama
on the phone,
That right? Well check out's at noon or you'll be charged for
an extra day, You got it?
Yea, I got it, Uh, can I please get the key? We're exhausted
mister, It's been a long day,
Thank ya very much,
Quay County Authorities are investigating the murder of one
of their own, Deputy Daniel M, Hernandez had pulled over a car
for expired tags and was shot and killed at point blank range
during the stop, Witnesses describe the car as a rust
colored sixties model Cadillac convertible, The assailants are
described as a white man and woman in their twenties,
Police are asking the public to call 911 if they see the car and
not try to approach the couple, They are considered
armed and dangerous, Deputy Hernandez is survived by his
wife and two children, Funeral services will be Friday at the
Rose Neath Funeral Home, Reporting Live, from the Quay
County Sheriff's Office, I'm Steve Olson,
Please help me God, please Lord forgive me, please,
I didn't mean to Lord, It was an accident, I acted without
thinking, God, Please spare me, Please spare me and Becca please
God, please,
Hallelujah, Hallelujah!
We're in business baby, Got us a fresh ride, Cold air and new
tires, Everything, We are all good,
Let me guess,,, you got us a brand new Mercedes,
Uh, not quite, Here, take a look,
See, she's a beauty, right?
It looks just like the other one,
Are you kiddin' that's a classic, I told you it's got new
tires, It's a beauty, Hey, you know I love ya, right?
Um hum,
Yea,
You know back there that wasn't me,
As soon as we get to Mexico we'll have a fresh start,
I don't think the cops know what we look like,
Trust me, A little bit longer, I'll get us out of this,
Lord's on our side, I promise,
I'm confused, This,,, tell me everything is going to be okay,
I mean, Mexico,,, what about my mom and my friends?
Look at me, I promise everything is gonna be okay,
Alright, once we get down to Mexico, and get all settle in
there, we can invite your mom,
Ya know, it's not gonna be forever,
Just till the heat dies down, Three, may be five years max,
Okay, you trust me?
Startin' to run low on cash again,,, I'm gonna have to head
out of here pretty soon, figure somethin' out, Okie dokie?
Okie, dokie, pokie,
(water is heard running)
You know they're looking for us, It's all over the T,V,
We're outta here in the mornin',
Three hundred miles to the border and we're home free,
I need to call my Mom, Johnny, What do I tell her?
Just be cool baby, Just tell her everything is alright,
Tell her we're gettin' married,
That should change her mind about me,
Do you mean that? Do you really mean that, Johnny?
Or, is that the yayo talking for you?
Baby, of course I mean it, Soon as we get to Mexico, you
and I are gettin' married, And live happily ever after,
You know, you never officially asked me, But, I guess this will
have to do,
In a couple of days, you'll be Mrs, Johnny Jones,
Don't have to fake it anymore and can finally put a ring on
your finger, Make an honest woman out of you,
Do you think if I died, you'd be able to revive me,,,
like those other people?
Gah, why ya gotta say shit like that? If anything ever happen to
you, it'd kill me, You're my whole world, Becca,
You know that,
- I'm serious Johnny, - Don't talk like that, Come on,,, just,,,
Do you think your gift only works on certain people?
I don't know how it works, it just happens,
It makes me feel weird just talkin' about it,
Change the subject, alright?
Okay,
- What? - Here's one for you,,,
Never mind, It's a surprise,
What?
It's your birthday next week,,, I guess I can tell you,
What does your mom finally like me?
Unnh, unnh,,, Even better,
What is it? Come on,,, spit it out,
You're killin' me,
Okay,
You're gonna be a father, Reverend Jones,
Are you joking with me?
- Are you serious? - Unnn, unnh,,,
- Are you sure? - Yeah!
Oh, my God, I'm gonna be a daddy,
You know how I went to la farmacia the other day?
Yea,
Well, I got three pregnancy test and they were all positive,
Oh shit,,, shit! Ahh, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, I'm gonna be a daddy,
I'm gonna be a daddy, Holy shit, I can't believe it,
- Thank you, - You're gonna be a great father,
Oh, my God,
Just think honey, in a few days we'll be in paradise,
We'll finally settle down, No more runnin' round, from town
to town, I think I'm gonna start a mission, May just be a
missionary, I don't know, You can finally teach me Spanish,
Just you and me, and the baby makes three,
I'm down to my last eight ball,
Once that's gone, I'm done, I promise,
Straighten up, and fly right,
What is Mexico like? You know my people,
are all from there,
Ummm,,, it's a lot like this, Mountains and sunshine,
A bit of a slower pace, People are really nice,
Spiritual, It'd be a good place to call home for a little bit,
Do they have a mall?
I swear that's all you ever think about, Jesus,
I have to look good for my man, Besides, it's my way of dealing
with stress, And I'm gonna need a maternity wardrobe soon,
Wow, I wish you'd find a cheaper way of dealin' with your stress,
You're costing me a fortune,,,,
I'm gonna go be alone for a little bit, alright?
- Get some God time, - Yeah
You be okay here for your self?
Um hum,
Hey, Good morning, sunshine,
Ummm,
Come on, I'm starving, Get up, I need coffee,
It's only 6:30, It's,,, ten more minutes,
Come on, We have a long day ahead of us, Okay, I need to
call my mom too,
Ummm,
Get up, Cranky,
Alright,
Gotta piss,
Hurry up,
Get ya anything else? Alright,
So where you guys headed?
Mexico,
Mexico? Are you crazy? Those border towns are more dangerous
than the middle east, It's a battle zone down yonder,
I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy for even a day,
We got the Lord on our side, mister, I'm a preacher,
Headin' down there to do a little healin', The sick, poor,
the elderly, I'm on a mission of mercy you might say,
Shit, I mean, shoot, Reverend, Well, you better hope
and pray God is on your side, You know a couple went down
there a few weeks ago,,, they haven't been heard of since,
Rumor has it that they've been kidnapped,
Being held for ransom,
We'll be careful, Can you uh,,,
wrap this up? Tryin' to get out of here before it gets dark,
Yea, it's a two thirty five,
Hey, uh Billy, might want to check your toilette,
Every time I flushed her down, the water came right back up to
the top,
Uh baby, I'm gonna wait for you in the car,
I'm not feeling well,
Alright,
Why is it every time you come in here and take a dump
you have to stop up the toilette?
Now I'm gonna have to go back there and snake it again,
Yea, yea, yea, yea,,,
Can you wrap this up?
Let me get your change, Reverend,
Uh, Mike this gentleman here is a preacher,
No kiddin',
Yeah, he's going to be going South of the border,
I was just explaining to him about the drug cartels and all
the kidnapping that's been going on down in Mexico,
Oh, Mexico, Yea, So, uh, where ya be comin' from, uh
Preacher man?
Texas, Uh, sorry,,, Arizona,
Huh, why you comin' through New Mexico if you're going down to
Mexico?
Becca! Rebecca, what the fuck is wrong with you? Come on!
Sweet Jesus, What the fuck did you do? Come on, We gotta go,
Oh God, Come on,
Shit, shit, shit, I just don't get it Becca, I don't understand
what the fuck just came over you,
You just blew those people away,
I'm sorry,
We're so screwed,
I, I didn't want to be a single mom, I got scared, Johnny,
Well just,,, next time let me fuckin' handle it,,,
alright? Just,,, don't start shootin' people, Fuck!
Ba,,,, Babe,,, do you think you can stop at
the next town? I need to use the restroom and I wanna call mi
mama, I won't tell her anything, I promise, I just need to talk
to her, It makes me feel better,
Yeah, I guess, I just,, gotta keep
this car outta sight, honey, We're, We're fuckin' wanted now,
They got us on camera now, This is it, There's no turning back,
We only got about fifty miles to go, Shit,
I miss my mom,
Fuck, I know baby,
I'm a killer now, I'm no better than pinche Charlie Madson,
It's Manson baby, Manson's a psychopath, You're,,,-
you're nothing like him, You're trying to protect us, I get it,
I understand, God'll forgive you, I forgive you,
You just can't do shit like that,
Promise me that we're gonna raise our baby to be good,
And not like us, I'm ashamed of the things that we've done,
I promise baby, Everything is gonna be okay,
We're gonna make it,
Hola!?
Hey mom, it's me Becca,
Ay, mija, why haven't you called me? I've been worried sick,
Mira, mama, Solo dispongo de un minuto, (just needed a minute)
I just wanted to call and let you know that I'm alright,
Mija, I'm just worried about you,
Please, please come home,
Look, Mommy, Johnny and I are going to Mexico,
We're going to start a family,
I can't tell you a lot more than that but I
promise as soon as I get there, I'll let you know more,,, okay?
Hijole mija Mexico, Okay, please,
Please just be careful and call me
when you get there,
I will, I promise, Okay, mama,, I have to go,
But, I love you,
Bye, mi amor, I love you too, Please be careful, don't forget
to call,,, I love you,
Te amo, mama, (good bye)
Te amo,
Almost there, Another fifty miles and we're home free,
Hmm, I'm happy for us, My mom is a nervous wreck,
I have to call her as soon as we get there, I hate putting her
through this, I love you,
I love you too, sexy,
So we know that if it's a boy it'll be Johnny the third,
But, what are we going to name it if it's a girl?
I don't know, I'm not good with names,
Just pick something from the Bible, It's always a safe bet,
Okay, How about Abigail?
Oh God, anything but that, Becca, Jesus! Abigail?
Sounds like an old lady,
How about Ana? I have a tia named Ana,
Ana, alright, I can live with that,
Ana it shall be, I'm still hopin' for Trey though,
Trey? What is Trey? I thought it was gonna be Johnny the third?
Yea,,, John,,, Trey means three, It's a white thing I guess,
Well, whatever, It's gonna be a boy, I can feel it,
US Citizen? Habla English?
No habla engles, (I don't speak english)
Salir de coche, por favor, (open the door please)
He's gotta a gun!
Ahhh shit, What's this? That doesn't look good,
Is that the border?
Naaa, it's one of them check points,
What the fuck was that? No! No, no, no, no, no,
No! What the fuck? Jesus Christ, Becca, No, no, no,
You're gonna be okay, You'll be fine, Oh shit,
HELP!
You're gonna be okay, Oh God, Oh God,
REBEC,,, Oh sweet,,, No, no, no, no, no, no, no,,, God, no, no,
HELP!
Oh Father, what do I do? No, no, no, no, no, Oh Becca, Ohhh shit,
Lord, Oh Lord, Oh Lord, I need you more now than I've ever
have, Please Heavenly Father, Save this woman that I love and
my unborn child, Please God, please, Take me instead of them,
Please God, please take me, Please,
Oh babe, babe, Babe, you're bleeding,
You're safe, You're safe,
- No! Baby? - Thank God, you're safe,
You and the baby are all that matter,,, take care of the baby,
What happened? No!
God's calling me home,
Johnny? Hey baby, No, no! No!
Well folks, that's how I went out, I made some mistakes,
Some big ones, God gave me the power to help, to heal,
Sometimes I used it for the good of the people and several times
I let my selfishness and lack of faith get in the way,
The good father had bigger plans for me,
So he's decided to take me home,
Rebecca and the baby, they'll be fine,
God granted me one last miracle,
Life for my love and a future for my unborn baby,
If you were wondering, an angel just whispered in my ear,,,
it'll be a Trey after all, Becca's gonna have a handful if
he turns out anything like me, Hell, I'm not complaining,
all things considered,,, the good and the bad,
I was truly a lucky man,,,
Adios!
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