MOMENTS OF NEGLIGIBLE HAPPINESS
Thursday we'll thoroughly check the festoon, All right?
When I'm on my scooter I have one goal,
never be stuck in traffic,
I want to be ahead,
If someone in a car tells me off, I say:
"If I wanted to be stuck, I'd be in a car, too",
Something I've done for years is:
there's that moment when the street to the right has a red light,
we can't go, neither can oncoming traffic
turning left
I can calculate that moment to a T,
and I know that if I'm off by a millisecond, I'm fucked,
In that moment, I can drive through the intersection safely
because the light is red for everyone
and the road is clear,
I was off by a millisecond, yet I've been doing this for years
While dying, I thought I'd ponder the important parts of my life,
the immense pains, the essential joys,
the crossroads, the mistakes, the traumas and triumphs,
But instead, this is what I was pondering,,
I do think about you often, but not every day,
I've been analyzing this phrase for 20 years,
but I don't get it,
The only thing I do get is
it sounds nice but it's not,
Can bug spray and yoga coexist? Aren't they contradictions?
Above all, does the fridge light go off when the door closes?
Why does the gas station attendant always say,"Pull up more"?
Pull up more
And why does he always say it after you've turned off the car?
- I'm not the first in line, - Who is?
- Who was the first in line? - That one,
He's the first,
Sorry, I have to ask out of curiosity,
why is the first never the first in line?
- What's the criteria? - You just lost your taxi
Then my obsession comes to mind, the glass breaker,
The glass breaker is encased in glass,
How can you reach the glass breaker
if it's inside of a glass case, without another glass breaker?
In an emergency,
if I found any object that could break glass,
why would I break that glass to get that glass breaker
instead of just breaking the window?
Move!
I pondered this and other negligible things in my last moments,
then I died,
- Will they call us? - Yes, Did you take a number?
Yes,
You're new?
- Yes, - I see,
I've driven through that intersection for years without a hitch but,,,
We all have issues
True,
Number 1,970 gazillion bazillion 257 million,
Paolo Federici, window 62,
That's me
I think there may be a mistake,
One thing we never do here is make mistakes,
I'm really upset, especially by how it happened,
The moment is based on collected data
As for how it happens, we always pick the easiest way,
It was easy with you,
because every single day you did that fuck,,
that maneuver,
But why is it my time?
Never mind,
For years I've been buying health magazines, all of them,
I did everything they recommended,
- We know that, - Then you know I went to the gym,
ate broccoli, every morning I drank water
and barley coffee, which tastes like nothing,,
- Doesn't this matter? - It does matter,,
,but genetics and luck also matter,
It's all been considered,
To think of all the money I spent on fresh juices I don't even like!
- Fresh juices? - With ginger, always,
Juice bars are obsessed with ginger,
What's wrong?
Juices aren't listed here,
Is that bad?
Some with fennel, too
I didn't consider them, and if that's the case then,,,
Then?
- Then there's a mistake - There's a mistake!
He said it, there's a mistake!
There's a mistake!
As you know, fresh juices are very good for you,
so if you didn't consider them, you've taken away 7, 8,
9,,,
10 years of my life, or more!
Silence!
You can go back to Earth for the time you earned
by drinking an abundance of fresh juices,
which were not calculated due to a system error,
In any case,
the time,,
you are due is,,
- An hour and a half - An hour and a half?
- Nonsense, that's unfair! - That's what the machine says!
If I revealed the things I've seen while here,,
- Shame on you, quacks! - Get out of here, now
In any case,
since you're a good kid,
an hour and 32 minutes, all right?
- I was hoping for 10 years, - 10 years, my foot!
You earthlings overrate many things, especially fresh juices
- And ginger, - And ginger,,
Don't expect to do everything you haven't in this hour,
Don't act crazy like what's-his-face, that Greek philosopher,
- Aristotle? - Exactly,
He began playing the flute the same day he was meant to drink hemlock,
- That was Plato, - Doing things at the last minute,,
, is useless, in fact, Socrates never learned to play, Accept it,
An hour and 32 minutes is what it is,
If I'd known before that life would be so short,,
Everyone knows it, from the day they are born
You also knew it, but pretended not to,
Yes, in theory, death is natural and I accept that
But my body just isn't ready,
There are so many things I want to do
But looking back at my life, it seems I wasted time
Hey, can I ask you a favor?
- Sure, - Can you lend me some money?
Of course,
- 10 euros? - Okay
I'm dying for a hot coffee,
deep brown, like a monk's robe,
I have 50 euros, if you want,
Credit card,,
Interested?
I'll buy you a nice vacation if you give me time to take stock,
to sort some things out,
I just need a few months, that's all
Sorry, please stop asking,
It's 5,48 now, You have an hour and 32 minutes
At 7,20 on the dot you'll come back up
Don't scare anyone,
And don't talk about the past,
Don't bother asking your wife if she cheated on you, it's pointless
Take a nice walk with the kids,
watch the soccer game,
pay off your debts,
- Hi, - Hi,
Did something happen?
No,
You didn't go to the game?
I was going, but wanted to see you instead,
- What's wrong? - Nothing,
I just wanted the four of us to be together,
Okay, And it couldn't wait till tonight?
No,
All right, you're acting weird today,
What,,
- I have to go, I'll be late, - Don't go,
Paolo, what the,,
I love you,
Paolo, what's wrong?
- Did you ever cheat on me? - Should I be worried?
- Where's Filippo? - At the pool, he'll be done soon,
- And Aurora? - Dunno, she went out
Call her,
Tell her to come home soon, I'll give her 50 euros,
Why can't you tell her?
Because when I call, she never answers,
If you cheated on me, I don't want to know,
Got it?
- I'll go take a shower, - What's the rush?
When should I shower?
There's a precise moment after making love
when you can go take a shower,
And when is that precise moment?
Now,
I can go?
- Thanks, - You're welcome,
Agata, while you're up there get me a clean shirt,
- You can't get it yourself? - I hate climbing up there,
Fine, so long as you change,,
that shirt is 3-days old
Now that the family and home are expanding,
take advantage of the tall ceilings
to build another loft,
- Lofts are great - No loft!
He'd rather wear the same shirt than climb up,
- Really? - I climbed up a few times,
- And then? - Then I stopped,
What about your underwear?
I wash them at night so they're dry by morning,
- Anything to not climb up, - Okay
Agata, how about this,
we'll put the closet underneath and the bed on top,
- Great! - Better!
You'll be well-dressed again,
I'll kiss Aurora and be right up,
Aurora, a goodnight kiss,,
Go sleep in your bed,
Filippo, I haven't kissed you goodnight yet,
Why don't you go sleep in your bed?
- Just 5 minutes, - Why don't you like lofts?
That's not true, I love them
Many times I wondered,,,
if I should've loved more women at once,
- Are you mad at me? - No, I'm not mad at you,
And I wonder if Agata deserved someone better than me,
Are you mad at me?
No, why?
- Are you sure? - Yes
Maybe she should've run off with another man and left me free
to fulfill every single fantasy
a person can have in life, but instead we just repeated,,,
"Are you mad at me?" "Huh?"
"Are you mad at me?" "No,"
If I let myself get carried away by the urge
to do crazy things, totally unpredictable things?
- You? - Yes
- Why? Why today? - Why?
Because we always put off important things
and then one day just say, "Now!"
Now! Okay,
All right Want me to suggest something wildly crazy?
Yes,
Go pick up Filippo from swim class,
- You're saying that's unusual? - I'm saying you never go,
I used to go,
When he could barely float, now he's almost a pro,,
- Are you mad at me? - No, but let's go, please
It's almost 6,00, I have tons to do,
6,00?
- It's already 6 00? - I have tons to do
I have to get groceries, hand in my work, start dinner,
Let's go
You may be feeling philosophical today, but I have stuff to do,
So you go pick up Filippo,
I'll go shopping, stop by work, and see you back here
Palermo's soccer team could make it to the majors,,,
,,and you're not watching the game? - No
Move it!
- Paolo? - Hi,
- The game's about to start, - No,, forget the game,,
- What's wrong? - Nothing, I don't want,,
- Agata? - Don't ask me! He's weird today
Are you going for a CAT scan?
Ready?
- Well? - Salvatore, Paolo isn't joining us?
Hey!
We might make it to the majors!
I have to pick up Filippo and Aurora, And spend time together,
I want to,
Bye
She blocked my number!
I'm trying to call but she blocked me,
What if it were an emergency? I'm still her father!
- She never picks up and she blocks me, - Aurora?
Can you come home early today because dad is feeling,,
, a bit wistful, - I'm not wistful!
Want her to come back early?
It's only 5 00?
No, nobody ever fixed this clock after daylight savings
- What's the time? - 6,00
Six,,
Honey, you're right, but it'd be nice if you,,
She hung up Excuse me!
What's with all this traffic? You're weird plus there's traffic,,
- There's an accident, - Someone must've been hurt,
- Yes, - How sad,
You're telling me,
Excuse me!
Excuse me, what happened?
- There's a corpse, - A corpse?
- Poor thing, wonder who he is, - Dying is no big deal,
As what's-his-face said, "Votre marit est Mort et vous salue",
Excuse me?
In any case, time slips away pointlessly in traffic
It's now 6,05,
In a minute it'll be 6,06 In two minutes it'll be 6,07
Everyone's philosophical today!?
He's right It's 6,05 and I have to go get Filippo,
but we're stuck,
Time shouldn't be wasted! Why'd you take this street?
Paolo, what's wrong?
- What do you want? - You are mad at me, don't deny it,
Admit it, you're always mad at me
Just go watch the fucking game,
No, I'll go get Filippo!
- You can pick him up next week - I want to go now,
Then calm down,
You get Filippo, I'll go shopping, Want anything?
- I'm not eating tonight, - See you at home,
Hurry back
- You're wistful but don't be a pain! - I'm not wistful
- Go, - If you get stuck in traffic,,,
know that I've always loved you
I love you,
Hold on, she's making a U-turn, calm down!
Pretty lady, but I think she's mad at you,
You noticed?
You didn't ask her if she cheated on you?
Did you ask her? How'd she react?
What if there's a long line at the supermarket?
She might not be back in time to say bye to me,
And why doesn't anybody fix the clock after daylight savings?
How'll I know how long I have left?
I'll tell you an hour and 11 minutes,
- Not bad, - Well,,,
If you get off my back
I can sort out a lot of things,
Thanks,
Are you trying to die?
- Who's first? - Him,
Of course,,
Did we share our only life and bodily fluids
with the right person?
Paolo, leave me alone
It's over, we're incompatible,
Don't be so dramatic, Want to know what I think?
No, I don't care about you or what you think,
Don't ever call me again,
I never want to see you again!
If you leave, we'll never see each other again
You're unemotional!
- Hey, - Thanks,
I have to tell you something,
Sorry, but I think you've misunderstood,
- I understood perfectly, - There's a misunderstanding,
- No,, - It's my fault,
No, it's my fault, That's how I am, don't worry,
You know, I never even considered it,
It never even remotely crossed my mind,
It's fine, no worries,
- Not if you were the last man on earth, - I get it
- Are you offended? - No,
I'll have a beer
- We have craft beers - Regular ones?
No, craft beers are better,
Okay, an icy beer
We serve it at 54 degrees, lukewarm,
- Lukewarm? Great, - Great,
Are you hitting on me?
- No, - Too bad,
- Here you go, - Thanks,
You're welcome, Want a new one? Lots of idiots use these to leave,,
their number,
- Your number? - No,
- No? - No,,,
Too bad
Wow, this year has flown by,
Agata and I have been restless since we met,
At least I have,
Maybe it was postpartum depression, but when we became parents,
we began senselessly defending the need
for happy hour,
We can't always stay at home,
No, we need to feel alive,
We can't become prisoners of our world,
Why did we start snubbing happy hour?
- Happy hour? - Yes,
Why do we snub them?
- You tell me, - We just stopped going,
- Exactly, - We'll go,
Happy hour is a social hub,
- Hello? - Want to come?
You can share games, thoughts, and ideas with other kids,,
Yes, okay
- Okay, - Who is it?
- Happy hour! - Happy hour!
Happy hour!
Baby-sling to school in the blink of an eye
- We're late, Will you miss me? - Lots,
Good, We're going to be late,
Hop up, Good job,
Hurry, we're late
Hop up,
Good job,
Hurry, we're late
Get going Bye,
- Howdy, - Hello
- Want to go get coffee? - I can't,,
- So, no? - So, yes
Don't forget about Elisabetta's gift,
The class pitched in 10 euros a head,
- I'll pay you on Tuesday, - I won't be there,
- I'll pay you now, - Thanks,
You're welcome,
- Thanks, - You're welcome,
We had a great idea for her gift,
A kick scooter,
Not pink
Or her little brother will complain and get jealous,
- That's a great idea, - I'll mark you down as paid,
So,,,
we're all set
Okay
We had nothing to say after that,
We never met up alone again
Is she the new one?
Yes, but it's a short-lived thing, just a fling,
- I'm Maria Sole's mom, - Oh, right!
- Are you mad at me? - No,
- Are you sure? - Yes
Bye
- You're sure sure? - Yes,
Come to think of it, the time wasted at the florist for example,
wasn't really that wasted,
- Done? - I'm still assembling it,
Then I have to tie the ribbon and curl it,
- Trim, - Yes,
- Well? - Perfect,
- Yellow? - Perfect,
- Or another color? - No, it's great,
- Almost done, - Okay
- It looks good enough, - Hold on
- Almost done - New flowers are starting to bloom,
- Will mine be out of season? - We're almost done
Now I'll put on the ribbon and curl it,
Filippo was born and we said: "A second baby will stabilize us"
Dad, will you wait,,
or not?
Hello
- You're the engineer? - Yes,
Sorry, I was expecting,,
an old man,
So was I,
Here
Hello
This way,,
Why do women never have tampons?
- You think they're in your purse,,, - Know what I'd do if I were a woman?
I'd go out with a ton of money
to buy a colossal supply of tampons
Enough to last years
I'd have a tractor trailer unload them all in my garage,
And maybe I'd leave a few hundred to my heirs, for fun
Paolo,,
we should end these happy hours, they're not happy hours,
What are they?
Flirt hours,,
Yes, that's true, But, you know,,
I have a daughter, you have two kids,,
Let's forget it, we know what happens in these cases,
And we don't want that?
No, sorry
I wonder why you don't buy a colossal supply of tampons,
Enough to fill a garage and leave some to your heirs,
so you'll never be without, nor will your descendants,
Isn't that a brilliant idea?
- Let me through, - If I were a woman, I'd do that,
When you become a woman you'll have other things to do,
Either let me through or clean up your son's vomit,
- Go ahead - Thanks
- Are you mad,, - Fuck off,
All right
We've been beating around the bush too long
Let's go
- Aren't you coming? - Where?
Dunno, to a hotel or something,
Come on,
Come on!
How cool am I?
How embarrassing
When I go back to the office, I feel like everyone knows we fucked,
I can spot a woman who spent the night with a man,
- I see them while I'm jogging, - You jog?
Yes,
Well, I walk quickly, But it's just as good,
Women with smudged make-up,
dressed in fancy clothes in the morning,
They're out of place,
Saturday-night women who stand out on Sunday morning,
I'm at the cafe too, I observe their every move,
They stare out at nothing and forget to pay,
For them, that's the moment when Saturday night ends,
I don't understand this relationship,
You make love the same way you think
What does that mean? You don't like how I make love?
No, but you're like a kid, you're attracted to everything,,
but not attracted to anything,
Is that good or bad?
It's not your fault,
After the third time with a man,,
I get tired, bored, I feel there's nothing left to say,
I have the urge to look around for a new man,
I'll leave first,
I'll think of you
- Maybe not every day,,, - Not every day, I know,
I'm at the cafe too, I observe their every move
They stare out at nothing and yawn often,
and forget to pay,
For them, that's the moment when Saturday night ends,
Do you really do this?
I do,
How often?
Well, when I go jogging, which is rarely,
Or when I go out early on Sunday morning,
Now I feel like making love
- Really? - Yes
- Know what? - What?
Maybe I could be one of those women,
How so?
I wonder if you make eyes at the mothers,
your co-workers,,
You're back?
From where?
I always see you, even when I'm not around,
And I like you even when I see things you don't want me to,
Where'll you find another woman who puts up with you?
I won't,
We're all made up of a delicate balance of good and bad,
and I learned that just like with pick-up sticks,
if I removed the thing I like least about the person I love,
then the thing I like most would also be removed,
Close it!
I was taking a shower and you used the fucking hot water!
I didn't do anything, I swear on,,
Not on me!
If I did do it, it was an out-of-body experience,
Knock it off!
I love you!
You're going out like that? Can't you dress better?
This is better,
Who am I?
I like when two people sit together at a restaurant
and you can tell a relationship is starting,
Then I saw my wife sitting next to Maurizio Polidori,,
and I didn't like it,
7,000 stand up, he takes note,
"Who has sex once a week?" 1,000 stand up,
He takes note
"Who has sex once a year?" One guy stands up
Wait, I'm not done,
One guy stands up and waves his flag, "Me, me!"
"You have sex once a year, why are you so happy?"
"Because it's tomorrow!"
Where's Aurora? Why won't she answer? Why is she so mean to me?
It was red!
- No, - You don't respect rules,
That's awful, you're setting a bad example,
You're right,
You males think you can do whatever you like,
Here we are,
What are you doing?
Double parking so I can go with Filippo,
- If anyone comes say,, - My dad doesn't respect rules
and I'm ashamed to be his daughter,
Come on, Filippo
- You're so extreme - If everyone behaved like you?
- Everyone does, - Luckily not!
If one person does, it's no big deal, quit nagging!
Don't do this! Move the car, dad!
Dad!
Don't drink from the bottle,
I finished it
Go to bed, it's late,
- Indeed, very interesting, - This is my daughter,
Nice to meet you, You must be proud of your dad,
I'm very proud, he's a fantastic father
- Excuse me, - Yes,
Thanks,
I had to say that with all these people around,
Let's go
Don't play with your food,
But these are leftovers, You can play with leftovers,
No,
- Why not? - Because you're making a mess,
- We'll clean it - So you'll tidy up tonight?
- Did you have a bad day at school? - This isn't the 1950s!
With women cooking while men sit and wait
Look at the bright side,
until somewhat recently, women couldn't even eat
at the table with men,
- Did you really just say that? - He's kidding, chill out,
You're accepting a role instead of teaching
your son and husband to help out,
You're an annoying girl who'll become an annoying woman,
For sure,
Aurora?
- Everything okay? - Yes, I'm happy,
- You know I love you, right? - Thanks
Look at this idiot!
Where are these people going?
Know what the downfall of this country is? Democracy,
We need the death penalty,
Death to killers,
Death to people with no manners,
If you ask me, people over 60,
with all due respect, shouldn't be allowed outside
And people who drive in the bus and taxi lane
should get 3 years in jail
Poor Italy!
You were frigid in nursery school,
In grade school you pretended to be sad to win girls over
This is Ludovica, she loves me,
We have to kiss on the lips,
- You have to do what? - Kiss on the lips,
Sorry, I don't think you can do that,
- Got a problem? - I do!
No kissing on the lips at age 6!
I don't care what you do,,
just don't tell me about it before the kiss or even after!
Filippo, come here! That's an order!
Wait, we didn't find a spot yet,
You have to do it now?
Can't you do it when your mom picks you up?
How awkward!
Dad, watch! Look what I can do!
Filippo, I'm watching, you're great!
- I didn't do it yet - You are really great, Filippo
Dad, I didn't do anything! Why are you saying that?
- What happened? - She kissed me here and here,
Okay, but do you think her mother knows about this thing?
Dunno,,
Let's keep what happened a secret then,
Okay
And don't tell anyone that I was here waiting, okay?
Promise?
It'll be our little secret,
- Dad, are you okay? - Yes, I was just,,,
I thought that was you and I got emotional,
You got emotional watching the wrong kid?
It happens! You all look alike in the pool so,,,
- It happens, - Is something wrong?
No, why?
- Aren't you glad I came? - Of course,
Hi, Silvana,
- Yes, - Dad?
- Let's go, - Coming,
Go on, My daughter's right there,
Are you sure? I made a terrible mistake before,
I really goofed up
I never come here so,,
- Gotta go, - Bye,
Nose to nose?
Will you disappear once summer ends?
No,
Hi,
He's Fabrizio, my boyfriend, He's Paolo, he's with me,
- Nice to meet you - Likewise,
Movies tonight?
Come on, Paolo, it's not far
- I should already be in bed, - Are your shoes wet?
- Yes, - Your mom will kill you,
- I'm tired - Count to 10 and we'll be there,
I can't, I'm tired, I want to go to bed,
- I can't walk anymore - Fine, all right
How much do you weigh? Let's go
When I was a little boy, I fell in love with a girl,
- But she was big, - How big?
- Too big - Anyway, when I was a kid,,
Ludovica fell in love with me,
- And now? - She ignores me
All the better, she likes to tease men,
Not for long,
Hello
You're Filippo, aren't you?
Nice to meet you,
- I'm your dad's friend, - I've never seen you,
Because I don't live,,
I don't live here,
- Can I go play PlayStation? - Yes,
- Bye, dad's friend, - Bye, Filippo,
- What's wrong? - I don't like being here,
- Too many complications, - And the coffee?
Exactly,,
I happily walked into a cafe,
I was "motivated", as you say,
The barista looked at me and I said,
"One coffee"
Everyone stared and the barista said, "What kind of coffee?"
They started saying in a glass, tall coffee, with milk,
short coffee with milk, with a shot of ginseng,
ginseng with a shot of coffee,,
In a big mug, in a small mug, Americano,,,
So then I said, "I'd like a tall coffee
but not too tall, just right,"
Then I couldn't handle it
- And I ran off - Okay,
- What? - I'm getting anxious,
If you want to go back up sooner,,
No, how much time?
- 30 minutes, - 30 minutes? 30 minutes?
That's not much and you're wasting my time
talking my ear off about coffee when I have stuff to do!
Be right back,
Relax, I won't run away
Yes!
- Come on! - Paolo!
Grab a beer, we're in the first half,
Come on!
- Still 0 to 0? - Yes
We have to win to make it to the majors
- Sit down, - No, I have to go home,
He can only stay a few minutes, he has to come with me,
We have plans at 7,20
Postpone, the game ends at 8,00,
No, there's no postponing these plans,
- Have a seat! - Come on!
Go!
- Play on that side! - Go!
You'll score a goal,
No!
Goodbye majors,
He's an expert,
- So you think we'll lose? - No, you'll win,
2 to 1,
Back to the majors,
If I were you, I'd bet on it,
Should we bet on a win?
I can't waste money
If we play 10 euros, we'd win 730!
No, I don't have money to waste,
Your friends are nice,
Yes,
We always watched the games together
You're imagining your funeral
- What's wrong with that? - It's typical,
They'll remember you, don't worry,
Know what?
I want us to remember Paolo the way he really was,
His good aspects,
Agata,,
His strengths
And his flaws,
Yes, his flaws, too,
We loved those, too,
Yes,
Pasta with swordfish, with squid ink, with eggplant,
with anchovies and breadcrumbs, or a sampler plate,
- Sampler! - Yes, the sampler
Can I have my own plate?
Sure,
- Pasta with eggplant, - All right,
What's wrong? I want my own plate,
- Can I try some? - No way,
You can try my spaghetti, it's delicious,
Here's an idea,
you let me try your spaghetti
and I won't let you try my pasta,
- Hello? - Sorry, we're you asleep?
No, I never sleep at this time of day, What is it?
That voice,,
I was working
What's the big deal? Just say you were sleeping,
No, I was just thinking, I hadn't spoken in a while so,,,
my voice is funny,
I was lying down, not sleeping,
I don't understand why you say you're not sleeping
when you were
Salvatore, why would I make up something that isn't true?
I'm working, what's up?
Explain why, when you answer the phone,
you deny that you were sleeping,
- I wasn't, - You were!
I knew it, everyone did!
When you don't speak for a few hours your voice gets funny,
or maybe I was just lost in thought
What about when you wanted to make plans with him?
True, When making plans, my sole objective was,
get the person to come to me,
Come to my area
To my house, so we can hang out in peace,
You have to lure the contender over with your area's specialties,
by saying: "You've never been? I have to take you,"
This is my house,
and this is the house of the person I have plans with
In an ideal world, we'd meet here,
in a place that is equidistant between our two homes,
No way, I say an equidistant place is a sell-out,
For me, it's a matter of principle, it's a serious matter,
No, no,
I can debate for hours to make sure we meet here,
here, here, or even here, so long as we meet somewhere
that's closer to my house, even if only by a few feet,
Remember that place,,
It's hard work, but since I'm stubborn,
more stubborn than my contender, I often win,
- Why are you covering it? - I'm typing my PIN,
- How long have we been friends? - Forever,
And you're afraid that I might glance at your PIN code,
memorize it, swipe your ATM card, and run to withdraw 250 euros
because that's the limit?
- You never know, - Fuck you!
The truth is, he was an average man,
With average thoughts, average emotions
- An adorable average man - No, he was a funny man, too,
Yes, sure, he was funny at times,
Why "at times"?
Honey, you thought you were funny but you really weren't
This fact was funny, not you, But I found it sweet,
What will you do without me?
Huh?
- How'll you get by without me? - You were already gone,
- You were here, but not really, - Did you love me?
Of course, it's only natural for kids to love their parents
- Will you think of me? - Yes, we will,
But not every day
Dad? Dad!
- Dad? - What?
Mom said to come home, it's urgent
Coming,
- 2 to 1, just wait and see, - Where'd you find this whiz?
- I told you he's an expert, - 2 to 1?
- In the end, - Good, I'll go place bets,
- Yeah! - Come on,
- 30, 50 euros 10 - How much?
50 euros, Let's do it,
- Filippo? - What?
You know that movie where changing one aspect of your life
changes the future?
Yeah
With that guy who was supposed to die but then doesn't?
- You mean Doc - If, for the sake of argument,,
we wanted to do it,
if we were to discover something about our life
that we shouldn't know,
couldn't we go back in time and change that something
to change the future?
- Why? - What do you mean, why?
To avoid making mistakes, to start over again,
to,, to only do important things,
You know,
to transform
an average life into a great life
Yeah, sure, but why?
Why? Because it would be better,
Whatever, but this isn't "Back to the Future",
we can't go back in time,
- Too bad, - Why?
Never mind,
- Filippo, go to your room, - I'm hungry,
- Can I grab a snack? - Fine, but go to your room
- What's up? - The police called,
- Something happened to Aurora? - No, to you,
- Me,, - Paolo, listen up,
They said something very strange,
that you were the victim in that accident we saw,
I got spooked even though they were tactful,
they said you were dead and I had to identify the body,
I said, "Impossible, my husband's alive,
we drove by that accident",
They believed me, but since your ID was found, I had to go anyway,
Tell me what's going on? I don't understand a thing,
- Hold on, calm down - Yes, okay
I'll explain,
Sit down,
I have to tell you something,
- That will seem a bit insane, - Okay,
But you have to believe me, promise?
The truth is,,
I am dead,
- Paolo,,, - I died in that accident,
That specific accident,
- You drove through the red light? - Unsuccessfully, this time
But luckily, they forgot to consider my fresh juices,
I got excited thinking they'd let me come back for years,
but they only gave me an hour and 32 minutes,
In any case, the accident means my time has come
My hesitation wasn't the issue, or maybe it was,
I'm not sure, In any case, they decide when it's my time,
Remember that philosophical guy on the street earlier?
You found him to be odd
He accompanied me, he's here now,
- Where? - At the cafe
Why there?
Because my time is up,
But let's not make a scene, Agata,
I'm not the first to die,
This isn't a joke?
Unfortunately not,
I know, I'm not sure why, but I know,
Look on the bright side, now we know so much more
For example, fresh juices have always been overrated,
Like I said,
Remember we had long talks and fought about it?
"Drink fresh juices!" And I'd say,,,
"Ginger sucks!"
"No, ginger's good for you", but I died
How'll we handle practical matters, like the mortgage?
Do you have insurance?
- No, - Who knew I would die young!
I never imagined,
Every morning something bad can happen with you,
Something good too,
but always something bad,
I'm home, who's here?
- Are you fighting? - No
Did you come home early to start trouble, dad?
No, Aurora,
I just wanted us to spend time together
I need to pack my bag, I'm sleeping at Bea's
If you want to talk, come to my room,
Go with her,
I didn't know, nobody ever tells me anything,
Fine
You have wistful eyes, that's unlike you
Because,,,
for example, I was thinking,,
it would've been better if I'd spent more time with you
No, please, no, we spend enough time together,
We need to be around others and do our own things,
I've never seen you like this,
- Yes, - Let's take advantage of this
Well?
I wanted to spend time with you,
Alone?
Okay
Done,
What?
Is that enough time?
- It's never enough, - I have an idea then,
Are you going to play a game?
We're going to play a game, sit down,
We'll play, all right
What's this?
- You gave it to me when I was a kid - I did?
Let's read the instructions, hope it's not too complicated,
- Want to play now? - You wanted to hang, what's the rush?
No rush, but you've never played it before, you're opening it now,,
I never played because I wanted to play with you,
but you always make excuses,
- Me? - You,
- When? - Now, too,
- It's 7,00 and you have to go,, - What do you care!?
Let's start,
- Just,, 10 minutes, - 10 minutes, sure
Open it, I'll read the rules All right,,,
"Purpose of the game,
embark on a wonderful trip and discover an action-packed life
with adventures, family experiences,
inconceivable surprises, and unforgettable journeys
The player who is richest wins the game,"
- Bored already? - No, not at all,,
You weren't listening, I'll read it again,
- No need, - "Purpose of the game,,
embark on a wonderful trip and discover an action-packed life,
with adventures, family experiences,,"
There's a railroad crossing that's crucial to your life,
It regards me and your mom, and therefore you two
When we met, we spent a romantic evening together
I'll hold your head,
How are you?
Fine
- Will you drive me home? - Yes,
Then I drove her home and found out where she lived,
You won't take advantage because I'm drunk?
No!
But I can take advantage because I'm drunk!
If you want,,
No, I'm an upright person
- Will this train ever go by? - What train?
The train!
See you tomorrow?
Waiting with you for the train to pass by,,
is wonderful
Every time I picked her up, we'd go downtown,
then I'd drop her off back home, and if I was unlucky,
I'd sit waiting for trains that took forever to pass by,
And usually I was unlucky,
- Hurry, or it'll come down again - What?
You know what!
Not just Agata, but everyone who lived past the railroad crossing
never thought about railroad crossings,
At times I'd wait when going to pick her up,
or we'd wait together when going downtown,
we'd wait together when going back to her house,
or I'd wait alone when going back to my house
- See you - Do you love me?
Loads, we'll talk about it tomorrow
Okay,,
Time went by and each night,,,
Get out!
,,was the summary of a love story and how it usually plays out,
- Where do you live? - Near city hall
- City hall? - Yes
- Downtown then? - Why are you so excited?
- Because we're neighbors, - Really?
If we dated, it would only take me a minute to come meet you,
If our date was at 9,00 PM, I could go out,,,
- At 8,59, so what? - Isn't that amazing?
I know you don't love me anymore,
It was more complicated than that,
- It's more complicated than that - More complicated?
Truth was, I still loved her lots,
I would've never left her if she lived downtown,
I just couldn't take it anymore, I couldn't,
- And then? - Then,,
Then one day I opened the paper and read,,
that the city council after so many years,,
- I never stopped loving you, - Liar,
- I swear, - And that other slut?
Agata,,, give me one last chance
I promise you won't regret it,
You said it
- What? - That you loved her
- Does mom know? - Yes, I told her,
These things are felt, no need to say them,
It's always good to say them
Gotta go,
It's been 10 minutes?
No, 5,
but you're free,
Only 5 minutes?
Wow,,
When you play, time slows down and life gets longer,
- We didn't play, - We started,,
I need to pack my bag, Bye, dad
I know,,
it's painful,
But they say it gets easier with time,
Plus, you'll die too,
Thanks, Will you tell me when?
I can't,
- But if you want,, - No, I don't care to know
What's wrong?
You know!
I know, you feel guilty,
You wish you'd spent more time with him
But what would life have been like
with your husband always around like he is today,
For example,
you would've never met Maurizio Polidori,
That's not fair, it was nothing,
I know, it was just a flirt,
But you think of it every now and then,
I made a mistake,
It was brief,
The problem is you make mistakes then don't know how to fix them,
Don't make mistakes if they make you suffer so much,
Or forgive each other,
Aurora, come say hi,,,
to this man,
Hello
Gotta go, I'm late,
Did you say bye to dad?
- Yes, - For real?
What's with you?
Nothing, you're going,,
I'm sleeping over at my friend's around the block,,
- I'm not going to Iraq! - Okay,
I'm going,,
Excuse me,
- Goodbye, - Bye, Aurora,
Bye
- How much time is left? - A little bit,
- How much? - A few minutes
Dad, I love you, but I'm playing,
I love you, too,
- Have I told you? - Yes,
Remember, you're the man of the house
That's an old-fashioned thing to say
True,
We need to talk about practical matters,
Did you pay the overdue maintenance fees?
- You didn't - No?
- No, - I keep forgetting, sorry,
Okay
I don't want to die twice in an hour and a half
No, no, no,
- Okay, - No,
Fine, I give up,
Paolo!
Let him go!
- Let him go! - No!
Don't,
Let go!
Agata, don't let me go!
Stop it!
Agata,,
- There's a mistake! - There's a mistake!
He said it, there's a mistake!
Slow down, we're early,
Still thinking of me?
I'm a grandma,
I weigh 200 pounds!
You're nuts! You scared me stiff,
How can you live like this knowing you'll die?
You reckless rat!
No!
- Where's your damn friend? - No majors for us,, so what?
I'd better bite my tongue
- He must've left, - Take these!
Some expert,,
Fuck you!
Dad's here!
Filippo, dad's here,
Why didn't we ever meet up again?
Dad?
What happened?
Stupid Bea and I had a fight,
Plus, you wanted to hang out tonight,
- Aren't you glad? - Very,
How much longer?
Dunno,
But if death makes mistakes, can't we make them too?
We are mistakes,
When we're done making mistakes,
life ends, and life is just a sliver of time
made up of moments of negligible happiness,