رسانه اینترنتی مای موویز MyMoviz جامعترین سایت فیلم و سریال
-I KNOW DAD'S PROUD,
-NICE,
-OKAY, I WANT YOU TO OPEN THIS ONE FROM ME,
-ALL RIGHT,
LET'S SEE,
-[ CHUCKLES ] -WHAT?
-IT HAS A BAROMETER, AN ALTIMETER, AND A COMPASS,
-NO WAY,
-SO YOU CAN USE IT EVERY DAY WHEN WE MOVE BACK TO COLORADO,
-[ CHUCKLES ]
THANK YOU,
-I HOPE YOU LIKE IT, -I DO,
LOVE YOU, -I LOVE YOU,
-ALL RIGHT, MY TURN, -YES!
-HA!
-OOH! -OOH!
-OH, I WOULDN'T WANT YOU OPERATING ON ME,
-MOM! -[ CHUCKLES ]
HA!
YEAH?
NO?
NO? IT'S --
-[ CHUCKLES ] WHAT IS IT?
-IT'S A WHEATGRASS JUICER,
RIGHT? YOU SAID YOU WANTED ONE,
-I-I SAID I-I LIKE WHEATGRASS,
[ BOTH LAUGH ] -UM,,,
-NO, I LOVE IT, -YEAH?
-IT'S GREAT, I LOVE IT, THANK YOU,
I LOVE YOU, -I LOVE YOU,
WAS MARA OFFENDED BY THAT HAIR STORY?
KIND OF WORRIED ABOUT THAT,
-NO, NOT AT ALL,
SHE THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY, -YEAH?
"FOLLICLE," [ BOTH LAUGH ]
HOLLY SEEMED NICE,
SHE'S QUIET BUT NICE,
-YEAH, WELL, IT'S HARD WHEN YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW ANYBODY
AT THIS KIND OF THING, -YEAH,
YOU'RE REALLY GOOD ABOUT THAT -- INCLUDING EVERYONE,
MAKING SURE EVERYBODY'S COMFORTABLE,
-WELL, I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO FEEL OUT OF PLACE,
-DO YOU REALLY FEEL OUT OF PLACE?
[ CHUCKLES ]
WAIT, [ CHUCKLING ]
OH, NICE, THE BOTTLE TRICK, [ CHUCKLES ]
-OH, I WISH WE COULD JUST LIVE UP HERE,
-IT WOULD BE INCREDIBLE, -I KNOW,
LET'S BUILD A HOUSE UP HERE, -YEAH?
-YEAH, -YEAH? THINK SO?
WAIT! HEY, DON'T FINISH THAT, -WHY NOT?
-BECAUSE IF YOU FINISH IT, IT MEANS OUR PICNIC'S OVER, AND I DON'T WANT IT TO BE,
-[ CHUCKLES ]
THANK YOU, YEAH, JUST HANG ON TO IT FOR A LITTLE WHILE,
-WANT IT? -YES, PLEASE, I DO,
-OKAY, -YEAH,
-JUST DON'T TELL ANYONE,
-I WON'T, IT'LL BE OUR LITTLE SECRET,
WHAT HAPPENS ON THE MOUNTAIN STAYS ON THE MOUNTAIN, OKAY?
-OH, REALLY? -OH, YEAH,
-* AND SING A LITTLE SONG
* SING A LULLABY FOR ALL THE WORLD TO SEE *
* EVERY SUNNY DAY
* MEANS THAT LOVE IS ON THE WAY *
* DOO, DOO, DOO, DO DO DO -* DO DO, DO DO, DO DO
-* DOO, DOO, DOO, DO DO DO -* DO DO, DO DO, DO DO
-* DOO, DOO, DOO, DO DO DO * DO DO, DO DO, DO DO DO
-AWESOME, THERE YOU GO,
YOU KNOW, YOU COULD COME BACK TO MY PLACE FOR A QUICK,,,
-I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW,
-ALL RIGHT, -BYE,
[ HORN HONKS TO THE TUNE OF "LA CUCARACHA" IN DISTANCE ]
[ SNIFFS ]
[ THUDDING ]
-[ CRYING ]
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
-HEY, BRO, -HEY, MAN,
-I GOT A, UH, TWO-BEDROOM APARTMENT UPSTAIRS
IF, UH, YOU AND YOUR CHICK ARE INTO IT,
-UH,,,
[ SIGHS ] UH, WOW,
ARE -- ARE YOU AND YOUR GIRL OFFICIALLY DONE?
-UM,,,
IT'S MUCH BIGGER UP THERE,
I COULD MOVE DOWN HERE,
[ CAT MEOWS IN DISTANCE ]
-UH, CAN I GET BACK TO YOU? -SURE!
ANYTIME,
-YEAH? -MM-HMM,
-OKAY, ARE -- ARE YOU GOOD?
OKAY,
[ SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE ]
[ HORN HONKS IN DISTANCE ]
-[ SCOFFS ] YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES I WONDER,
IF I DIDN'T SAY SOMETHING, IF YOU'D SAY ANYTHING AT ALL,
-I LOVE YOU, -BESIDES THAT,
STOP! STOP IT,
CAN WE NOT STAY AT THIS THING TOO LONG?
I THINK I'M GETTING A COLD, -OKAY,
YOU LOOK HOT, MY LITTLE BUTTERCUP,
-NO, I DON'T, I LOOK HIDEOUS,
-YOU LOOK HOT, -HIDEOUS,
-IF YOU WERE A WHORE, YOU WOULD BE THE HIGHEST-GROSSING WHORE
IN THE AREA CODE,
[ LAUGHS ] CAN I HELP YOU?
-YOU DISGUST ME, -MM, I LOVE YOU,
-I LOVE YOU, TOO,
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
-[ COUGHING ]
[ MUMBLES ]
I-I LOVE YOU, -I LOVE YOU, TOO,
-LET'S GO HOME SOON, -HOW MUCH HAVE YOU HAD TO DRINK?
-IT'S A GAME OF INCHES, RIGHT? -THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID,
-WHAT'S UP, BUDDY? LIKE, UH,,,OKAY!
LIKE HELL'S ANGELS OVER THERE WITH THE BEER,
YOU PUT A MARTINI IN HIS HAND, AND HE'S DRIVING A GEO METRO,
RIGHT? [ LAUGHTER ]
-HEARD YOU INVITED HIM,
-DO YOU WANT TO GO GRAB ANOTHER BEER?
-YES, YEAH, MAYBE WE CAN FIND SOME SLEEVES FOR TOUGH GUY,
-OH,
-[ LAUGHS ] -I'M USUALLY A LOT FUNNIER,
PEOPLE LAUGH AT THE THINGS I SAY SOMETIMES,
DID YOU SEE THAT BLONDE BITCH JUST EYEING ME UP AND DOWN?
-UH, NO,
-THAT MOUSY TURTLE, WISH I HAD A HAMMER,
-HEY, COME HERE,
I DIDN'T THINK THEY WERE THAT BAD,
-THAT'S RIGHT, I FORGOT -- YOU WANT TO BE THOSE PEOPLE,
-I DO NOT,
-WELL, THEN WHY DID YOU TELL THEM YOU WERE IN MED SCHOOL?
-BECAUSE I PRACTICALLY AM,
-NO, YOU'RE NOT, YOU SHOULDN'T LIE TO IMPRESS PEOPLE, TIM,
-HEY, OKAY, I DIDN'T WANT TO EXPLAIN IT ALL IS WHY,
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
-I'M SORRY, I'M,,,
I'M JUST NOT FEELING VERY GOOD, CAN WE GO?
-COME ON, KENDAL'S ALMOST ON HIS WAY HERE,
-YOU SAID THAT THREE HOURS AGO, HE'S NOT GONNA SHOW
WHILE I'M STILL HERE,
-COME ON, LET'S JUST HAVE ONE MORE BEER,
HEY, CAROLINE, [ SIGHS ] OKAY, FINE,
I WILL GO SAY GOODBYE TO THE GUYS,
AND YOU GO TO THE BATHROOM,
-OKAY, -OKAY?
-THANK YOU, -YOU'RE WELCOME,
I'LL SEE YOU IN A SECOND,
[ SIGHS ] HEY, MAN, I GOT TO --
I GOT TO TAKE OFF, CAROLINE WANTS TO GO,
-OH, CAROLINE, SHOTS FOR CAROLINE,
-NO, NO, NO, SHE WANTS TO GO, SHE DOESN'T --
-CAN I GET THREE SHOTS OF PATRÃ³N AND SOME LIMES, PLEASE?
-NO, SHE'S -- SHE'S GOOD, SHE JUST WANTS TO TAKE OFF,
-HOW OFTEN DO YOU GO OUT, TIMMY? -NEVER,
-YEAH, EXACTLY, -DUDE, I JUST --
-HEY, HEY, HEY, Shh, shh, shh, TAKE YOUR MEDICINE,
-I CAN'T, I GOT TO DRIVE, MAN,
-WHEELER, THIS ONE'S FOR YOU, CHEERS,
-I -- -COME ON,
-I CAN'T, -THERE'S CAROLINE,
HEY, UH, ONE MORE FOR THE LADY, -OH, NO, THANKS, MATT, WE'RE --
-WHAT -- YOU'RE READY TO GO AT 10:00 P,M,? COME ON,
-IT'S 1:00,
-READY TO GO AT 1:00 P,M,?
COME ON, HOW OFTEN DO WE GET TO SEE THIS GUY?
WHEELER, DO YOU KNOW CAROLINE?
-NO, I DON'T THINK SO, NICE TO MEET YOU,
-NICE TO MEET YOU, UH, MATT, WE'RE --
-HEY, LET HIM STAY OUT, ALL RIGHT? PLEASE,
HUH? HEY, WHO HERE IS HAPPY THAT IT'S SATURDAY, HUH?
CHEERS,
-CHEERS, -CHEERS,
-MM, UH-HUH, MM-HMM,
NOW YOU GOT ME IN A LOT OF TROUBLE, A LOT OF TROUBLE,
-HEY! -TIM!
-WHERE YOU RUSHING? -OH, I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU,
-HI, -YEAH,
-DUDE, WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?
-OUT RUNNING THE STREETS,
HEY, DID YOU GET THE E-MAIL I SENT YOU?
-OOH, LOT OF PENIS, [ LAUGHTER ]
-UH, I'LL BE --
-WHERE YOU GOING? -ONE SECOND,
HEY, STOP, GOD DAMN IT!
CAROLINE!
HEY,
HEY, HEY,
HEY, STOP,
-[ Voice breaking ] STEP THE FUCK OFF,
-CALM THE FUCK DOWN, WHAT IS YOUR DEAL?
I -- -HEY!
-HEY, MAN, NO, IT'S -- IT'S FINE, OKAY?
THIS -- THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND,
-YEAH, REALLY, UM, I'M FINE, THANK YOU,
-SORRY, MAN,
-OKAY, [ SCOFFS ] WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?
HUH? IS IT REALLY WORTH MAKING A SCENE?
-SCREW YOU, THAT -- THAT WAS HUMILIATING,
-OKAY, WELL, WHAT DID YOU EXPECT ME TO DO?
-[ SCOFFS ] YOU C-- YOU COULD'VE STUCK UP FOR ME, TIM,
YOU COULD'VE TOLD THEM THAT I WAS SICK,
-I DID TELL THEM THAT YOU WERE SICK,
-EVERYBODY THINKS I'M THIS -- THIS HORRIBLE,
OVER-POSSESSIVE GIRLFRIEND WHO JUST RUINS EVERYBODY'S FUN,
THAT WAS SO EMBARRASSING, TIM, AND YOU WERE JUST,,,
-OKAY, LOOK, I'M SORRY,
I AM, I'M SORRY,
-YOU KNOW WHAT? I WISH I JUST HAD ONE GOOD GIRLFRIEND
OUT HERE -- JUST ONE -- THAT I COULD JUST SIT BACK
AND TALK SHIT ABOUT THOSE PEOPLE WITH,
I MEAN, I REMEMBER THOSE PEOPLE FROM COLLEGE,
ALL FRATTY AND FAKE, AND THAT WHEELER GUY --
I HAVE MET THAT GUY 10 FUCKING TIMES,
AND HE STILL ACTS LIKE HE'S NEVER MET ME BEFORE,
-OKAY, LOOK, I DON'T LIKE MOST OF THEM, EITHER,
-OH, PLEASE, YOU BECOME ALL,,, [ MOCK LAUGHS ]
-[ CHUCKLES ]
-I HATE THIS TOWN,
-HEY, COME HERE,
[ SIGHS DEEPLY ]
LOOK, ONCE I FINISH THE PROGRAM
AND I GET A FEW GOOD LETTERS OF RECOMMENDATION,
I CAN GO TO SCHOOL ANYWHERE,
HEY, THE MOUNTAINS?
WHEREVER YOU WANT,
-OKAY,
[ SNIFFLES ]
[ SIGHS ] -OKAY?
-I LOVE YOU,
-[ CHUCKLES ]
AND I LOVE YOU, TOO, MY SENSITIVE LITTLE PEACH,
-YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE THAT YOU'RE A SOCIAL BEING, RIGHT?
-I'M NOT, REALLY, -NO, YOU ARE,
BUT IN A GOOD WAY,
PEOPLE ARE DRAWN TO YOU,
-[ SIGHS ]
DO YOU WANT TO MOVE IN WITH ME?
-[ CHUCKLES ]
-UH, I MEAN, ROY'S PLACE OPENED UP,
WOULD YOU BE UP FOR IT?
YEAH?
OH, HEY, -DUDE,,,
-HEY, UH, DID -- DID YOU FIND A ROOMMATE YET?
-WHAT? NO, -WAIT, NO?
-NO, -THAT'S PERFECT, OKAY, COOL,
WE, UH, -- WE WANT TO SWAP WITH YOU, THEN,
WE'D LIKE TO -- WE'D LIKE TO MOVE IN,
-YEAH, I DON'T THINK I CAN DO THAT NOW,
-REALLY? I MEAN, EARLIER, YOU SAID THE APARTMENT WAS --
-YEAH, I KNOW WHAT I SAID, BUT,,,
I'M GONNA HAVE A LITTLE EXTRA COIN
IN MY POCKET NOW WITHOUT THAT FUCKIN' CUNT AROUND,
I JUST -- I JUST REALLY NEED THE SPACE,
-OKAY, UH, ROY,,,
COME ON, MAN, PLEASE,
OKAY? CAROLINE, SHE'S, LIKE, EN ROUTE WITH A U-HAUL,
I JUST -- -I'M REAL SORRY, BRO,
-I -- WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?
-WELL, I WOULD DO IT,
-OKAY,
-COULD DO IT,
-OKAY, -I'LL SAY THAT,
[ SIGHS ] -WHA-- I --
ARE YOU -- WHAT DO YOU -- -ALL RIGHT, HOW'S $500, CLEAN?
-R-ROY, I AM BROKE AS SHIT, I DON'T HA--
LOOK, MAN, IF IT'S OPEN, COOL, OKAY? IF IT'S NOT, THEN --
THEN IT'S NOT, -FOR $500,
-FI-- FIVE --
YEAH,
-ALL RIGHT, $300 -- TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT,
-* OH, MOJAVE
-THIS THE LAST ONE? -YEAH,
-YES, THAT'S AWESOME,
[ LAUGHS ] -STOP, STOP, STOP!
-COME HERE, ARE YOU EXCITED?
ARE YOU EXCITED? -TIM! TIM! TIM! TIM, STOP,
-OKAY, [ CHUCKLES ]
I'M EXCITED,
-IS THIS WHY GUYS DROP THEIR BOXES?
-YEAH, YOU'RE GONNA COMPLAIN
'CAUSE YOU GOT THE PILLOWS AND THE TINY BOX?
-I'M GONNA DROP SOMETHING, -DO YOU SEE THE SIZE OF MY BOX?
-"DO YOU SEE THE SIZE OF MY BOX?"
-HEY,
[ BOTH LAUGHING ]
AFTER YOU, -HOME, SWEET HOME,
OH, THAT'S THE LAST OF IT,
-[ CHUCKLES ] -[ SIGHS ] SHOULD WE UNPACK?
-NOPE,
THERE IS NOT A LOT TO DO, -WHERE ARE WE GOING?
-WE ARE GOING TO THIS ROOM,
-AH, -AH,
-SHEETS, WE NEED SHEETS,
-YEAH, WHAT? NO, WE DON'T NEED SHEETS,
-[ CHUCKLING ]
-HUH? HUH?
[ SMOOCHES ] YEAH,
JUMP IN HERE,
-YOU'RE NOT EXHAUSTED?
-COME ON!
-OKAY, -OH, THANK GOD,
-I GOT MY SHOES ON THE BED,
-THAT'S OKAY, I'M OKAY WITH THAT, HI,
-HI, -HELLO,
-UH, GENTLE, -OKAY, GENTLE, I'LL GO GENTLE,
HEY, I'M NOT A BLOW-UP DOLL,
GENTLY, COME HERE,
-YOU ARE MY DELICATE LITTLE FLOWER,
-JUST HERE,
-MM-HMM,
HERE? -YEAH,
-NO, DON'T -- DON'T TOUCH MY FAT,
IGNORE THAT BIT THERE,
-OKAY,
-THERE,
-[ INHALES, CLEARS THROAT ]
-OW, OKAY, I'M GONNA GO AND DO SOME UNPACKING,
-COME ON, I'M THE ONLY ONE DOING ANY OF THE PETTING HERE,
-YEAH, I'M THE ONLY ONE DOING ANY OF THE UNPACKING,
-[ SIGHS ]
-[ GRUNTS ]
-TIM, DON'T DO THAT, I'LL -- I'LL FINISH YOU OFF,
-NO, I'M NOT GONNA DO ANYTHING, I'M JUST GONNA TAKE A PISS,
[ GRUNTING ]
-WE WILL BE HAVING A QUIZ ON FRIDAY,
AND IT'S FOCUSED ON THE HIP JOINT,
SO DON'T FORGET THAT THE GREATER TROCHANTER
IS LOCATED ON THE UPPER OUTER ASPECT OF THE FEMUR,
OKAY, HOMEWORK FOR WEDNESDAY WILL PREPARE YOU FOR THIS QUIZ,
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
-YOU GUYS FINISHED YOUR APPLICATIONS YET?
-I SENT MINE IN EARLY ADMISSION, -YEAH? WHERE TO?
-JOHNS HOPKINS, COLORADO, U,C, SAN DIEGO, AND HERE,
-HUH, WHAT ABOUT YOU?
ARE YOU DONE? -ALMOST, JUST WAITING
TO GET MY ESSAY BACK FROM THIS PROFESSIONAL EDITOR LADY,
-SHE EDITS MED-SCHOOL ESSAYS PROFESSIONALLY?
-YEAH, AND OTHER TYPES,
-YEAH? HOW MUCH DOES SHE COST?
-TOO MUCH,
-OKAY, WELL, HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH?
-$1,300,
-GEEZ! -I WANT IT DONE RIGHT,
-[ SIGHS ] APPARENTLY SO,
-HEY, TH-THIS IS DUE IN -- IN 7 1/4 HOURS,
-YEAH, I'LL HAVE MY HALF HERE IN THE A,M,'s,
DON'T GIVE ME THOSE LOOKS, OKAY? NO LOOKS LIKE THAT,
YOU'LL HAVE IT, I PROMISE,
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
-HOPSCOTCH EDITORIAL, HOW CAN I HELP YOU?
NO, I'M AFRAID SHE'S NOT HERE RIGHT NOW,
CAN I TAKE A MESSAGE?
YEAH, [ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
-NO, I DIDN'T HAVE A ROUGH NIGHT,
DID YOU HAVE A ROUGH NIGHT? -NO, I HAD A GREAT NIGHT,
-YEAH? -YEAH,
-THAT SOUNDS -- [ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
-OH, ONE SECOND,
THE LIEDEL CLINIC,
OH, HI, DR, LIEDEL,
YES, HE'S RIGHT HERE, ONE SECOND,
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
DR, GAFFNEY, I HAVE A ONE DR, LIEDEL
ON THE LINE FOR YOU, -IT IS MR, GAFFNEY,
AND I WILL ACCEPT THE CALL,
HELLO?
NO, IT'S A METATARSAL FRACTURE,
YEP, AAH, I MEAN YES,
MM-HMM,
[ SIGHS ] OKAY, YEAH, I'LL SEE YOU IN A FEW,
BYE,
-WHAT KIND OF MOOD IS HE IN TODAY?
-MM, I'D SAY CHIPPER TO GLEEFUL, -OH,
-YEAH, WHAT?
WHO IS,,,?
[ CHUCKLES ]
LET ME SEE IT,
WHO IS "ANGELO"?
-MM, SOME GUY I MET LAST NIGHT,
-YOU SHACKED UP?
AND THEN HE ORDERED WITH HIS NAME?
WHAT AUTHORITY,
[ CHUCKLES ] WOW,
I-I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT,
I MEAN, IT'S -- IT'S KIND OF HOT, BUT,,,
WELL, AS YOUR AT-WORK BOYFRIEND, I FEEL SLIGHTLY BETRAYED,
-WELL,,,
-[ CHUCKLES ]
I GOT TO GO FINISH THIS, UH,,,
DAMN WRITE-UP,
STAY OUT OF TROUBLE, -[ CHUCKLES ]
-IS THAT THE HILLER WRITE-UP?
HEY, IS THAT THE HILL-- -YEP,
HEY, LOOK AT YOU, -CHECK OUT THE BEDROOM,
-OH, HEY,
BED SKIRT,
WELL DONE,
THIS IS HISTORIC, -YEAH,
BUT WE SHOULD STOW THE ROLLERS SO WE CAN USE THEM TOMORROW,
-AH, I'VE GOT SOME WORK TO DO IN THE MORNING,
-OH, -BUT, UH, I CAN HELP TOMORROW,
LET'S JUST, UH -- LET'S JUST CALL IT A NIGHT,
AND I'LL DO IT TOMORROW, -NO, IT'S FINE, I'LL DO IT,
-ARE YOU SURE?
-YEAH, YOU CAN FIX THAT HOLE IN THE WALL TOMORROW,
-HA HA HA,
YOU KNOW, THIS LITTLE PRICK AT MY LAB
TRIED TO GUILT ME INTO STAYING LATER TODAY,
HE ACTS LIKE I DON'T DO MY SHARE OF THE WORK,
-THIS THE MCDB? -MM-HMM,
-YOU DID EVERYTHING ON THAT NEUROGENESIS THING,
-HELL, YEAH, I DID, -AND THE PEPTIDE PROJECT,
-I KNOW, -SCREW HIM,
-SCREW HIM!
THIS IS NICE,
-YEAH,
IT IS,
-HEY, UH, MY LITTLE SWAN SONG,,,
-YES? -[ CHUCKLES ]
,,,DID YOU LOOK AT MY ESSAY TODAY?
-I DID, YEAH, -OH, YOU DID, HUH?
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
-I THOUGHT IT WAS GOOD,
BUT I FEEL LIKE YOU REALLY NEED TO GRAB THEM BY THE THROAT,
TIM, YOU KNOW?
THAT WHOLE MARATHON METAPHOR, IT JUST,,,
I DIDN'T REALLY BELIEVE IT, IT DIDN'T RING TRUE TO ME,
-NO? -AND I DIDN'T GET A STRONG SENSE
OF WHY YOU WANTED TO BE A DOCTOR, YOU KNOW?
-UH, TO HELP PEOPLE, IT ISN'T THAT COMPLICATED,
-YEAH, BUT YOU NEED MORE, YOU NEED TO GET REALLY,
REALLY FAR IN THERE, I THINK YOU SHOULD ALSO, LIKE, GO BACK
TO THE FACT YOU'RE OLDER, AND, LIKE, REALLY PLAY IT UP,
LIKE YOU'VE HAD ALL THIS LIFE EXPERIENCE,
-HUH, -MAYBE TALK ABOUT SKI RACING,
YOU KNOW -- HOW IT HELPS YOU FOCUS AND FOLLOW THROUGH,
HOW ONE RUN ISN'T ENOUGH, YOU NEED TWO TO WIN,
-HMM,
ALL RIGHT,
I KNEW I KEPT YOU AROUND FOR SOME REASON,
YOU'RE SMART, AND YOU'RE SEXY, AND YOU LOOK OKAY NAKED,
-[ CHUCKLES ]
[ CLATTERING ]
CAROLINE?
WHAT -- -JUST A TEST, YOU PASSED,
-WOW, YOU LITTLE,,,
DOES, UH -- DOES CAROLINE NEED ATTENTION?
HUH? DOES CAROLINE NEED ATTENTION?
-NO! NO, I DON'T! I DON'T NEED ANY --
I DON'T NEED ANY ATTENTION! NO, NO, NO! NO!
[ BOTH GRUNT ]
I'M COVERED IN PAINT! -THAT'S OKAY,
-MNH -- -MM,
COME ON, JUST A QUICK LITTLE BANG-BANG,
-YOU'RE GETTING PAINT ON THE BED,
-SO? -YOU'RE SUCH A BEAST!
-[ CHUCKLES ]
ALL RIGHT, CAN YOU BLAME ME?
I MEAN, LOOK AT YOU,
YOU HAVE A SEXY ASS, A SEXY FACE,
LET'S JUST -- LET'S MAKE IT HAPPEN,
-THERE'S A TON OF PAINTING TO DO,
-HEY,
HEY,
-CAN YOU JUST BE PATIENT WITH ME?
I DON'T WANT TO BOTHER YOU WITH MY CRAP,
-[ SIGHS ]
COME HERE,
HEY, YOUR CRAP IS MY CRAP,
-[ SIGHS ]
-TELL ME, -I DON'T KNOW, I JUST,,,
I MISS THE WAY I USED TO FEEL ABOUT MYSELF,
I MEAN, I DON'T FEEL ATTRACTIVE HERE, FOR ONE,
-NO, COME ON, HEY,
DON'T LET THIS ENVIRONMENT DO THAT TO YOU,
YOU ARE A VERY,,,
VERY BEAUTIFUL WOMAN,
-I FEEL REALLY SUPERFICIAL EVEN SAYING ANY OF THAT,
-MNH-MNH,
HEY,
WE ARE GONNA HAVE AN AMAZING TIME HERE,
-[ CHUCKLES ]
-AND YOU ARE GORGEOUS,
[ FLOOR CREAKING ]
ARE YOU EXCITED? -YEAH,
-YEAH? -YEAH,
[ KEYBOARD CLACKING ]
[ YAWNS ]
GOOD MORNING,
-GOOD MORNING,
YEAH, HEY, COME HERE,
CHECK OUT THIS THING THAT KENDAL SENT ME,
[ MOUSE CLICKING ]
-[ MOANING PASSIONATELY ]
-YOU JUST BEEN JACKING OFF IN HERE ALL NIGHT?
-NO, THIS GIRL USED TO LIVE NEXT TO ME WHEN I WAS GROWING UP,
CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? SHE'S A PORN STAR,
-MMM, -YEAH,
-HEY, -HMM?
-I FOUND THIS AT THE BOOKSTORE,
-WHAT IS,,,
TH-THANK YOU,
THIS -- [ SCOFFS ]
MY BUDDY CHRIS AND I WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT THIS BOOK,
COME HERE,
-YOU LIKE? -I DO,
GOD, YOU'RE SEXY,
-WASN'T THAT NICE OF ME?
-YES, IT WAS VERY, VERY NICE OF YOU,
BAM, I'LL SEE YOU GUYS LATER?
UM, DR, LIEDEL? [ KNOCKS ]
-HMM? -I'M GONNA START AMY,
-GREAT,
-OKAY, UH,,,
R-REALLY QUICK, UH,
DID YOU GET A CHANCE TO WRITE MY RECOMMENDATION LETTER?
-OH, YES, YES, YES, I'M SO SORRY,
I WILL DO THAT, -OKAY,
I MEAN, IT'S JUST BECAUSE I --
YOU KNOW, I'M STARTING MY APPLICATION PROCESS
OVER THE NEXT COUPLE WEEKS -- -TIM, THIS WEEKEND,
I WILL DO IT,
-OKAY, THANK YOU, DR, LIEDEL,
ALL RIGHT, SO IT'S TYPICALLY FAST AND PAINLESS,
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT'S GONNA BE LIKE?
ALL RIGHT, LET ME SEE YOUR HAND,
CLOSE YOUR EYES,
YOU FEEL THAT IN YOUR HAND? -MNH-MNH,
-REALLY? 'CAUSE I JUST SPIT IN YOUR HAND,
YOU DON'T FEEL THAT?
[ CHUCKLES ] I'M JUST KIDDING,
BUT THAT NOTHINGNESS THAT YOU'RE FEELING,
THAT'S WHAT IT'S GONNA BE LIKE,
-HEY, TIM? -HMM?
-CAN YOU TAKE THIS UP TO ACCOUNTING?
-OH, NO, I CAN'T, I GOT TO FINISH AMY'S PRE-OP,
HEY, WHERE'S, UH -- WHERE'S MINDY?
-SHE'S OUT,
I'LL DO AMY, AFTER THAT, CAN YOU PICK UP THE LOBBY, TOO?
-HA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOU CAN'T DO ALL THIS?
-I'M YOUR SUPERIOR, TIM,
-OKAY, ALL RIGHT, LOOK, MAN,
YOU DON'T HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO,
ESPECIALLY WHEN I GOT BIGGER THINGS ON MY PLATE,
-MM-HMM,
-VICTOR,,,HEY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, I'LL --
-DR, LIEDEL, THAT'S LIKE THE FIFTH TIME,
AND I'VE TOLD HIM,,, [ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
-WHAT'S GOING ON? -HMM? NOTHING, NO --
-VICTOR ASKS YOU TO COVER FOR AN EMPLOYEE WHO'S OUT SICK,
YOU DO IT, -I-I WAS,
-THIS MAY BE MEDICINE, BUT IT IS ALSO A BUSINESS,
DO YOU UNDERSTAND? -I DO,
-I DON'T NEED THIS, -OKAY,
SORRY, DR, LIEDEL,
-THANKS, MAN,
-[ SIGHS ] -HEY,
[ SIGHS ]
[ SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE ]
[ HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING ]
[ CELLPHONE HUMS ]
[ HORN HONKS TO THE TUNE OF "LA CUCARACHA" IN THE DISTANCE ]
-TIM, WHY DON'T YOU COME IN HERE?
-[ SIGHS, CHUCKLES ]
[ GROANS SOFTLY ]
[ CHUCKLES ]
MY SWEET, IT'S,,,
[ SIGHS ]
[ RUSTLING ]
[ BOTH GRUNTING SOFTLY ]
-OH, JUST,,,FORGET IT,
[ SIGHS ]
[ CELLPHONE CHIMES ]
[ SIGHS ]
[ WATER RUNNING ]
-CAROLINE, OPEN UP,
[ CHUCKLES ]
HEY, MY SWEET, I'M COMING IN, OKAY? I HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL,
CAROLINE,,,
-I'M FINE, I'M FINE,
-I'M COMING IN,
-NO, DON'T COME IN, IT'S TOO COLD FOR TWO PEOPLE,
-HEY,
-[ MOANING ]
-YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT MIXING TEA WITH COFFEE?
-NO, -HUH,
-WHAT'S WRONG WITH LAWRENCE?
-HE WOKE UP,
-[ CHUCKLING ]
-CAROLINE, COULD YOU COME INTO MY OFFICE, PLEASE?
WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WANT TO DO, ULTIMATELY?
-UM,,,
WELL, I MEAN, I-I DON'T REALLY KNOW,
BUT I WAS THINKING ABOUT GETTING INTO N,G,O, WORK,
-SO, L,A,'s GROWING ON YOU, THEN?
-[ SCOFFS ] YEAH, LIKE MOLD,
[ CHUCKLES ]
NO, I-I DON'T KNOW, I THINK THAT ANY TOWN IS TOLERABLE
WITH A GOOD GROUP OF FRIENDS,
WHICH, I MEAN, I DON'T HAVE YET,
I MEAN, POOR TIM, HE'S --
HE'S BEEN, LIKE, BOYFRIEND, BEST FRIEND, SHRINK,
-RIGHT, 'CAUSE, UM, I'M GONNA BE LEAVING THE COMPANY SOON,
-OH, NO, -MM, YEAH,
AND, UM,,,
BRIAN ASKED ME IF I COULD THINK OF A SUITABLE REPLACEMENT,
I MENTIONED YOU,
-REALLY? -MM,
-CHEERS, -CHEERS,
-WHOO! GOOD JOB,
-IT'S FUNNY, 'CAUSE WHEN I FIRST STARTED THIS JOB,
I SAID THAT, AFTER A FEW WEEKS,
I WAS ONLY GONNA LEAVE WHEN MY RUBBER-BAND BALL
WAS AS BIG AS MY HEAD, -HOW BIG IS IT NOW?
-IT'S PRETTY BIG, BUT NOT THAT BIG,
-YEAH? -AND WHAT CAN I GET YOU GUYS?
-ACTUALLY, DID YOU KNOW THAT, AS OF TODAY,
MY GIRLFRIEND HERE WILL NOW BE RUNNING
AN ENTIRE BRANCH OF A POST-PRODUCTION FACILITY
AND NOW OCCUPIES A CORNER OFFICE?
I MEAN, THAT IS THE ARCHETYPICAL SYMBOL OF BADASS-NESS,
-WELL, CONGRATULATIONS, WHAT CAN I GET YOU FOR DINNER?
-OH, I'M GONNA HAVE, UH, THE FISH TACOS,
-ALL RIGHT,
-AND IT'S NOT A CORNER OFFICE, BUT,,,
STILL PRETTY NICE,
-[ CHUCKLES ]
[ BOTH PANTING ]
THAT WAS RAD,
I THINK WE SHOULD START TALKING DIRTY TO EACH OTHER,
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
-NO, COULD YOU ACTUALLY DO IT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE?
-UM,,,THAT'S TRUE, -YEAH,
-YEAH, BUT I CAN SAY ONE THING AS STRAIGHT AS A POLE --
THAT I REALLY, REALLY ENJOYED BEEPING YOU JUST THEN,
-MM?
-MM-HMM, I CAN SAY THAT, -YEAH?
-YEAH, I COULD SAY THAT,
BEEP, [ KISSES ]
BEEP, -OKAY, STOP IT,
-BEEP, -BEEP,
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
-BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!
-OHH! ALL SEXUAL ATTRACTION'S OUT THE WINDOW FOR YOU,
MM, -MM,
-YOUR BODY LOOKS FIERCE RIGHT NOW,
-[ LAUGHS ] YOU'RE SUCH A BRAT,
I DON'T EVEN ACCEPT YOUR COMPLIMENT,
-YOU HAVE GORGEOUS EYES,
[ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]
-* DON'T NEED NO BREAK-UPS
-DO YOU LIKE IT? IS IT BIG ENOUGH?
-* DON'T NEED NO FRIENDS AT ALL *
-YOU NEED SOMETHING TO LINK THESE TOGETHER,
'CAUSE OTHERWISE IT'S JUST OUT OF THE BLUE,
AND IT DOESN'T REALLY MAKE ANY SENSE,
-YEAH, -I FEEL LIKE,,,
THE WAY YOU GO INTO THE LAST SECTION,
IT CAN BE MORE PERSONAL, AND,,, -OKAY,
-CAN I GET YOUR NAME, PLEASE?
AND I'LL HAVE THE DOCTOR RETURN YOUR PHONE CALL,
AND WHAT IS THIS REGARDING?
-* IT'S WALKABILITY
* IT DOESN'T MATTER TO ME
* I'VE GOT MY STUPID CAR
* AND IT'S RUNNIN' FINALLY
* BUT IT'S RUNNIN' AWAY FROM ME *
[ LAUGHTER ] -THERE'S NO COMMENTS,
-I HAVE NO IDEA, ARE YOU TRYING TO KISS MY NOSE?
-YOU WANT APPLES?
-MAN,,,
THAT ASS MAKES ME WANT TO WRITE A POEM,
[ LAUGHS ]
-KENDAL, WHAT'S UP, PAL? HOW ARE YOU, MAN?
UH,,,CRAP, MAN, SORRY IT'S BEEN SO LONG,
IT'S BEEN, UH -- IT'S BEEN CRAZY
WITH THIS PRE-MEDICAL MAGIC OVER HERE,
-* IT'S WALKABILITY
* IT DOESN'T MATTER TO ME
-SO, ANYWAY, I GET UP FOR ONE SECOND,
AND THIS -- THIS GIRL -- THIS POST-PRODUCER GIRL,
SHE GETS UP TO CHECK HER E-MAIL AT MY DESK,
[ SCOFFS ] MY DESK,
ANYWAY, I'M LIKE, "UH, HEY, UM, LEXINGTON,
THERE'S A CLIENT COMPUTER THAT YOU CAN USE,"
YOU KNOW, SHE APOLOGIZES AND LEAVES,
AND THEN TODAY -- MM -- SHE'S AT MY DESK AGAIN,
DO YOU NOT CARE? [ CHUCKLES ]
-NO, I DO, THIS GIRL,,,
WELL, SHE SOUNDS LIKE SHE SUCKS,
-YEAH, I MEAN, IT'S JUST SO IRRITATING,
-MM-HMM,
-SHE WANTS TO USE THE COMPANY DigiBetas, AND I TELL HER,
YOU KNOW, "EVEN THOUGH THEY DO BRING IN A LOT OF BUSINESS
AND THEY'RE NOT THAT EXPENSIVE," I'M LIKE, YOU KNOW,
"I'M HELD ACCOUNTABLE TO THIS, IF BRIAN ASKS --"
-WHAT? I'M LISTENING, OKAY, YEAH, SHE SUCKS,
I HATE HER, -NEVER MIND,
-BABY,,, [ SIGHS ]
I REALLY AM LISTENING, OKAY? I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND,
I MEAN, IF THE DigiBetas BRING IN MONEY,
THEN WHY NOT JUST LET A FEW OF THEM GO?
-TIM, I JUST TOLD YOU THAT IF SHE USES THE TAPES,
THEN I GET INTO TROUBLE, -OKAY, I REALIZE THAT,
I'M JUST PLAYING DEVIL'S ADVOCATE HERE,
I'M JUST SAYING, IF THE TAPES BRING IN THE BUSINESS --
-OKAY, I DON'T WANT ADVICE, OKAY?
YOU'RE REALLY BAD AT THIS,
-I AM NOT, -YEAH, YOU ARE,
-[ CHUCKLES ]
[ SILVERWARE SCRAPING ]
FINE,
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
-GET OFF, I'M EATING, -COME ON,
I LOVE YOU,
[ SCOFFS ]
I LOVE YOU,
-WE CAN'T COMMUNICATE, -YES, WE CAN, OKAY? JUST,,,
I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT WORK OR -- OR THE WORK DAY,
I KNOW HOW IT IS, I DON'T WANT TO EXTEND IT, IT'S --
-WELL, THAT IS WHAT'S GOING ON IN MY LIFE, SO,,,
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO TALK ABOUT?
-I DON'T KNOW, CAN WE JUST --
CAN WE JUST TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE, ANYWAY?
I'M SORRY,
[ HUFFS ]
-[ MOCKINGLY HUFFS ] -[ CHUCKLES ]
COME ON! WHAT ARE WE FIGHTING ABOUT, ANYWAY?
AND WHY? COME ON, WHY GO TO BED PISSED OFF?
LOOK, I'M GETTING REALLY FUCKING TIRED, CAROLINE,
I-I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE,
-SAY THE WORD AND I'M GONE, -[ SIGHS ]
COME ON, YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT HOW I MEANT IT,
HEY,
DO YOU KNOW
THAT YOU ARE THE ONLY WOMAN THAT I EVER WANT TO IMPRESS?
NOTHING ELSE MATTERS,
[ CHUCKLES ] WHAT ARE YOU --
-THANK YOU,
[ CHUCKLES ] -ALL RIGHT, CUT THAT OUT,
-THANK YOU,
DON'T BE MEAN, -I'M SORRY,
-AND LISTEN MORE, -[ SIGHS ]
YEAH,
-OPEN UP YOUR LEGS, -NO,
-YEAH, PLEASE, I WANT TO PUT MY FEET IN,
-OW, CADAVER TOES!
WHAT -- ARE YOU DEAD? -I'M COLD,
-[ CHUCKLES ]
[ GROANS SOFTLY ]
GOOD NIGHT, MY LITTLE BUTTERCUP,
I'M SORRY THAT I SUCK,
-OH, THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT,
I'M JUST SAYING -- -NO, NO, NO, I KNOW,
I KNOW, LET'S JUST -- LET'S JUST GO TO BED,
[ SIGHS ]
-I LOVE YOU,
-[ CHUCKLES ]
I LOVE YOU,
-WILL YOU PICK UP YOUR DIRTY CLOTHES TOMORROW?
-[ SIGHS ] YES, LET'S GO TO SLEEP,
-HEY, TIM? -MM-HMM?
-WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED APPLYING TO SCHOOLS,
CAN WE GO ON A TRIP TOGETHER? -[ CHUCKLES ]
YES,
-ISN'T IT NICE THAT I WANT TO GO ON A TRIP WITH YOU?
-[ MOCK SNORES ]
-I WANT A BOYFRIEND THAT WANTS TO DO THINGS WITH ME,
-[ CHUCKLES ] HEY,
DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?
IT'S BEDTIME, NOT FIGHT TIME,
-I KNOW, I'M NOT FIGHTING,
-OKAY, -OKAY? I'M JUST SAYING,
GOOD NIGHT, -GOOD NIGHT,
-GOOD NIGHT,
-[ CHUCKLES ] GOOD NIGHT,
-WELL, YOUR GRADES ARE GOOD, YOUR MCATs ARE OKAY,
-MM-HMM,
-BUT WHAT COULD POTENTIALLY HURT YOU
IS WHAT WE'VE DISCUSSED ALL ALONG --
YOUR PREVIOUS UNDERGRADUATE GRADES,
-RIGHT, BUT MY PRE-REQS ARE SOLID,
-YEAH, YEAH, THEY ARE,
BUT, UM, YOU KNOW, IF YOU'RE NOT ACCEPTED,
I MEAN, IT CAN TAKE SEVERAL TRIES FOR SOME,
-ESSAYS AND RECOMMENDATIONS --
THEY CAN MAKE UP FOR DEFICIENCIES, RIGHT?
-YES, IF THEY'RE EXCEPTIONAL,
-HI,
THEY'RE NICE, -UH-HUH,
LOOK, I DIDN'T HAVE A CHANCE TO LOOK AT YOUR ESSAY,
-THAT IS OKAY BECAUSE I,,,
ACTUALLY JUST PRINTED OFF A BRAND-NEW COPY,
AND THIS ONE IS SOLID,
-TIM, I'M HAVING DRINKS WITH THE OWNER, SO,,,
-OH, -OKAY?
-UH, WELL,,,
COME ON, HAVE YOU NOT HAD A CHANCE?
-DON'T PRESS ME, TIM,
-WELL, AM I AT LEAST ON THE RIGHT TRACK HERE --
I MEAN AFTER A QUICK SPELL CHECK?
OKAY, YOU KNOW, I, UH -- DON'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT IT,
I'M ACTUALLY LOOKING INTO PAYING SOMEBODY TO DO IT,
-YOU CAN DO THAT?
-GET ME THE 416 RADIOGRAPHS,
-DR, LIEDEL? -I SENT IN YOUR RECS,
-OH, UH,,,
THANKS,
WOULD YOU PLEASE LOOK AT IT AGAIN?
-I'M BUSY,
-THIS IS MY FUTURE HERE,
-EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOUR FUTURE --
THE -- THE MOVE HERE, MEDICAL SCHOOL,
-WHY NOT FIGURE OUT CAREER STUFF --
ANY TOWN, WITH LIMITLESS OPPORTUNITIES?
ISN'T THAT WHAT WE'VE ALWAYS SAID?
AND LOOK AT YOU NOW! THIS IS AWESOME!
-I'M HERE FOR YOU AND YOU ALONE, WITH ABSOLUTELY NO GUARANTEES
THAT YOUR FUTURE EVEN INCLUDES ME,
-YEAH, WELL, THERE'S A LOT BETTER CHANCE THAT IT DOES
IF I CAN,,, THIS -- THIS FUCKING ESSAY,
I JUST,,,I,,, [ SIGHS ]
GOD, I -- YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S FINE,
IT'S FINE, I'LL JUST,,, -[ SIGHS ]
PRINT IT OUT,
-PRINT IT OUT? -YEAH, PRINT THE ESSAY OUT,
-AND YOU'RE GONNA READ IT? -NO, I'M JUST GONNA SHIT ON IT,
-YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT IT? -YES,
-OH, MY GOSH, YOU'RE AMAZING,
OH, I LOVE YOU,
THANK YOU, THANK YOU SO MUCH, I'M SORRY, OKAY? I KNOW,
I'M -- I'M SORRY, BUT I HAVE NOBODY ELSE TO HELP ME WITH IT,
-[ CHUCKLES ]
YOU GONNA FIX THAT HOLE IN THE WALL?
-YES, -MM-HMM, YEAH? YEAH?
-I'M GONNA FIX THE HOLE IN THE WALL,
[ KEYS RATTLING ]
[ DOOR OPENS ]
-I'M BACK,
TIM!
ARE YOU -- -YEAH?
-ARE YOU KIDDING ME? -WHAT?
-PICK THEM UP, -NO, I HAVE TO GET THIS DONE,
-IF YOU DON'T LEARN TO BALANCE WORK AND LIFE NOW,
YOU NEVER WILL, DO IT,
-NO,
NO, -FINE,
-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
-WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING?
-WHAT ARE YOU -- [ SCOFFS ]
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
HEY, STOP, CAROLINE -- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
WHOA! HEY, COME ON! COME ON! STOP! LOOK, COME ON,
I GET BOSSED AROUND ALL DAY AT WORK,
I DON'T WANT TO GET BOSSED AROUND HERE,
-I'VE ASKED YOU NICELY A THOUSAND TIMES!
I'M NOT BOSSING YOU AROUND! I'M ASKING YOU TO PICK UP YOUR SHIT!
-OKAY, OKAY, HEY, GIVE ME THEM, JUST --
COME ON, GIVE THEM TO ME, LOOK, I'M --
-SO NOW YOU'RE GONNA TAKE IT, -I'M A REALLY BUSY PERSON,
-OH, YEAH, LEAVE THEM THERE,
-I DON'T ALWAYS HAVE TIME FOR THE LITTLE THINGS, COME ON!
-YOU MAKE TIME, TIM,
I DO EVERYTHING AROUND HERE, I HAVE A JOB,
I SET UP THIS WHOLE GODDAMN APARTMENT,
I'M NOT YOUR MOTHER, OKAY? YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE, TIM?
YEAH, HERE WE GO,
I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF BY YOU,
-OKAY, THEN STOP, JUST --
-OH, I'LL JUST STOP, I DO EVERYTHING!
-OKAY, I WOULD'VE GIVEN THAT LADY $10,000
IF I HAD KNOWN IT WAS GONNA TURN INTO THIS MUCH FUCKING DRAMA!
-FUCK YOU! -YEAH, RUN AWAY, CAROLINE!
RUN AWAY! THAT'S WHAT YOU DO SO WELL!
-I FUCKING HATE YOU, TIM! -OH, YEAH,
-[ CRYING ]
FUCKIN',,,
OH,
OH, YOU GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!
OKAY, COME ON,
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
-SO, HOW YOU LIKING THE APARTMENT, BRO?
[ CHUCKLES ]
YOU REALLY SHOULD'VE BURNED SOME SAGE OR SOMETHING
BEFORE MOVING INTO THIS PLACE,
-WHAT UP, SKINNY? WHAT'RE YOU DOING TONIGHT?
NO, NO, YOU'RE GOING TO BARNEY'S,
THE BEAUTIFUL MINDY, HEY, IT'S THE OLD AT-WORK BOYFRIEND,
[ CHUCKLES ]
I GUESS THAT'S -- THAT'S NOT REALLY FUNNY ANYMORE,
UH, WE'RE GOING TO BARNEY'S TONIGHT,
SO GIVE ME A CALL IF YOU WANT TO COME,
-KENDAL, HEY, MAN,
YEAH, I WAS THINKING I WAS GONNA HEAD OVER TO,,,
YES, YEAH, YEAH, A FEW ICE WATERS,
-[ LAUGHING ] DOC HOLLYWOOD!
FINALLY LET YOU OUT OF THE CAGE, HUH?
-THIS IS KENDAL, STEVE, RANDY, A,K,A, REPUBLICAN PROPAGANDA,
-OH, SOMEONE'S GOT TO TELL THE TRUTH,
-WHERE DO WE SIT? -LET'S GO BACK HERE,
I'M TELLING YOU, CAROLINE'S THE FULL PACKAGE, MAN,
-I KNOW, JUST,,,
[ SIGHS ] SOMETIMES WHEN YOU'RE STRESSED,
YOU JUST WANT TO DUMP HER SKINNY ASS, YOU KNOW?
AND THEN THERE'S TIMES WHERE I WANT TO GET DOWN ON ONE KNEE,
-WELL, YOU GOT A GREAT GIRL,
AND YOU PROBABLY WON'T REALIZE IT TILL SHE'S GONE,
I MEAN, IT TOOK BROOKE LEAVING ME
BEFORE I FINALLY GOT MY SHIT TOGETHER,
-DO YOU GUYS NEED ANYTHING?
-UH, YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE BEEN TREATING US SO GOOD TONIGHT
THAT I THINK YOU DESERVE A REWARD,,,
IN ADDITION TO COLD HARD CASH, OF COURSE,
WHICH MY FRIEND RANDY HERE WILL BE PROVIDING,
-WHAT? -RANDALL?
-FINE, -YES,
BUT,,,YOU GOT TO PROMISE NEVER TO TELL MY GIRLFRIEND,
-WHAT IS IT?
-A KISS ON THE CHEEK, -[ SCOFFS ]
-[ CHUCKLES ] NO? ARE YOU SURE?
-TIMMY, YOU'RE CHEESY, MAN,
-I KNOW,
-DID YOU GET THAT FROM A BOOK? -I DID,
AND I SUCK AT POOL --
-OH!
-I MADE THE SHOT AND SHE KISSED ME,
-[ LAUGHS ] -DID YOU SEE THAT?
-YOU JUST SCORED, -WHOA, AND YOU GOT -- WHAT?
-HA HA, [ GROWLS ]
-WHERE'S HE GOING?
-SO,,,
WHAT'S YOUR STORY?
THAT WAS A BORING STORY,
-[ EXHALES DEEPLY ]
MAN, I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT SARAH REUBEN'S A PORN STAR,
-YEAH, I KNOW, CRAZY, HUH?
-YEAH, SHE'S GETTING RUN THROUGH!
-YEAH, -WHERE'S SHE LIVE?
-SHE'S RIGHT HERE IN L,A, -YEAH?
-YEAH, DEANER HANGS OUT WITH HER SOMETIMES,
-REALLY? -MM-HMM, MM-HMM,
NO WAY,
-WHAT'S UP?
OH, PUT THAT THING AWAY, MAN, YOU'RE OUT WITH ME, COME ON,
-AH,
HEY, MAN, WHAT DO YOU THINK JILL AND ERIN ARE DOING TONIGHT?
-THEY'RE AT LOS FIELES,
-YEAH? -YEAH, YEAH, YEAH,
-HUH,
-YOU WANT TO HIT THAT, DON'T YOU?
-NO, -NO, DON'T LIE TO ME,
I KNOW YOU DO, [ LAUGHS ]
THAT'S GOOD, THOUGH, THAT'S GOOD,
-I LIKE TO SEE YOU GETTING OUT, SHE MIGHT HAVE HERPES, BUT --
THAT'S GOOD, -NO,
-I DON'T KNOW, MAN,
ERIN SAID SOMETHING ABOUT SOME CREAMS OR SOME SHIT,
-NO, -YEAH,
[ LAUGHS ] -THAT WAS COMPLETELY ACCURATE,
TEXT ME THE ADDRESS, -YEAH,
-SHE WAS FINE, -VERY CUTE,
-SHIT, -I KNOW,
-WHAT THE HELL? -I KNOW,
-[ LAUGHING ]
-[ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]
[ MENOMENA'S "TAOS" PLAYS ]
-* SO PLEASE SHOW ME YOUR TEETH *
* I'LL SHOW MINE
* I SURE HOPE OUR P's AND Q's DON'T MIND *
* 'CAUSE I'VE BEEN ALONE QUITE SOME TIME *
* AND I'VE GOT TO SCRATCH THIS ITCH OF MINE *
* AND I THINK I KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE *
* I'M NOT THAT SMOOTH, BUT I'M NOT BLIND *
-HEY, YOU, -[ LAUGHS ]
-'SUP, PARTY PEOPLE?
-WHAT'S UP, GIRL? -YOU DONE WITH THE D-BAGS?
-PLEASE, -WHAT YOU DOING?
MAKING FRIENDS OUT THERE? -ALWAYS,
-OKAY, YEAH, YOU FIND YOURSELF TIED UP IN A BASEMENT
WITH DUCT TAPE ON YOUR MOUTH OR SOMETHING,
-I LIKE IT LIKE THAT, ACTUALLY,
-ALL RIGHT, OKAY, -HI, TIM,
-HI, JILL, SHOULD WE TAKE OFF? ARE WE KILLING YOUR GAME?
-MNH-MNH, I GOT ALL THE MEN I NEED RIGHT HERE,
-OH? -THAT'S RIGHT,
DON'T YOU FORGET IT,
-UH-OH, -HEY,
-WHOO!
-OH, THANK YOU, -THERE YOU GO,
THANK YOU FOR THAT, -TAKE IT EASY,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? -WHOO,
-WOW, DON'T WAIT FOR US,
-OKAY, SO I MISSED THE CHEERS,
[ LAUGHTER ]
-CHEERS, -CHEERS,
[ HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING ]
-[ LAUGHS ]
-TIM, WHAT'RE YOU DOING?
-DUDE, I GOT THIS, LIKE, INDUSTRIAL-STRENGTH TOOTHPASTE,
AND IT EATS THE SIDE OF MY MOUTH,
LITERALLY, IT'S, LIKE, PEELING THE SKIN FROM MY CHEEK,
-HERPES? [ LAUGHTER ]
-UH, NO,
IT'S A MILD MUCOSAL DESQUAMATION,
-OH, -MUCOSAL WHAT, EXACTLY?
-DESQUAMATION,
[ LAUGHTER ] -YOU KNOW, I DON'T THINK
WE EVER HOOKED UP IN HIGH SCHOOL, DID WE?
-LOOK, WHAT WAS THAT?
WHERE DID THAT COME FROM? -OKAY, SO, SHE WENT THERE,
-I JUST -- I FEEL LIKE HE'S GOTTEN MUCH CUTER SINCE THEN,
AND -- -SINCE THE WORD HE JUST USED?
-THERE'S SOMETHING ATTRACTIVE ABOUT YOU BEING A DOC--
YOU KNOW, I CANNOT HEAR YOU GUYS,
[ LAUGHTER ] NO HABLA ESPAÃ‘OL,
[ DARONDO'S "LEGS" PLAYS ]
-YOU AND TIM NEVER HOOKED UP, WE'RE MAKING A NIGHT OF IT,
-COME ON, GUYS, THE NIGHT IS YOUNG,
-YES, IT IS, -RIGHT?
-WE HAVE TO MAKE IT LAST, LET'S GO BACK TO YOUR PLACE,
-I LOVE THAT IDEA, AAH, BUT I DON'T HAVE ANY BOOZE,
-OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT, WE'LL GO GET SOME,
-[ GIBBERS ]
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATION ]
* LEGS!
* LOOK GOOD TO ME IN THE MORNING *
* LEGS!
-THANK YOU, -THANK YOU,
-[ SPITS ]
* LEGS!
-WHY'D YOU JUST FUCKING DO THAT, MAN?
-GET OUT OF MY FACE! -MAN, I'M IN YOUR FACE, HOMEBOY!
I OUGHT TO KNOCK YOU THE FUCK OUT!
-I'M WITH THIS GUY RIGHT HERE,
-* BABY, GIVE ME SOME LEG!
-[ TALKING INDISTINCTLY ]
WATCH YOUR BACK!
PFFT!
-* NOW GIVE ME SOME LEGS
-[ LAUGHS ]
[ ENGINE SHUTS OFF ]
-ALL RIGHT, MAN, YOU SURE?
THERE'S NOT GONNA BE ANY GRAB-ASS,
-WHATEVER, JUST MEET US DOWN HERE WHEN YOU'RE DONE,
-WHAT DO YOU MEAN "DONE"? NOTHING'S GONNA HAPPEN,
SERIOUSLY, -WELL, OKAY, SERIOUSLY,
MEET US WHEN YOU'RE DONE DOING NOTHING THEN,
-WHATEVER, MAN,
-WHERE YOU AT, MAN?
-[ CHUCKLES ]
-OH, MAN,
RANDY,
-LATER, MAN,
-[ SIGHS ]
-WELL, YOU SAID IT WAS AMAZING,
-YES, AND YOU TWO,
IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY, HOOKED UP
WHEN WE WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL IN ALEX OLSEN'S P--
-I NEVER -- HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?
-I HEARD THE ENTIRE THING, I WAS IN THE ROOM NEXT DOOR,
ALMOST STARTED MASTURBATING RIGHT THEN AND THERE,
-OR, AS TIM WOULD SAY, "FLICK THE BEAN," I THINK?
RIGHT?
-HONESTLY, THOUGH, I WOULD'VE LEFT ALEX OUT,
SO WHAT DID I DO?
MADE SWEET LOVE TO HIM ON HIS PARENTS' COUCH,
-OKAY, SEE, I WOULDN'T SAY THAT,
I WOULDN'T SAY "MADE SWEET LOVE TO HIM,"
SOUNDS LIKE SO "GOLDEN GIRLS," I MEAN, RIGHT?
-"GOLDEN GIRLS"? REALLY? -OKAY, FINE, FINE,
WE FUCKED ON HIS PARENTS' COUCH,
-YEAH! THERE YOU GO,
-YES, AND IT WAS VERY NICE,
-HOTTER,
-VERY NICE,
-IT WAS VERY CHARITABLE OF YOU,
-MM, MEMORIES,
-[ LAUGHS ]
-WHAT ARE THOSE?
-THOSE ARE MY GHOSTS,
-OH, GOD,
-WHAT?
-YOU BROUGHT IT UP, DUDE,
-MY GHOSTS, -OH, GOD,
-SOMETIMES I'M WATCHING TV AND I FALL ASLEEP,
NO LIE -- I WAKE UP IN A DAZE
AND ONE OF THEM'S JUST, LIKE, FLOATING RIGHT BY MY FACE,
AND I SAY, "HI, GHOST,"
AND IT SMILES AT ME AND GOES RIGHT BACK INTO ITS PICTURE,
-YEAH, A BEAUTIFUL LOVE STORY,
-THEY PROTECT ME,
-[ CHUCKLES ] -I'M NOT KIDDING,
-I KNOW, THAT'S THE SCARY PART,
-THEY'RE NOT SCARY,
-THEY'RE VERY NURTURING,
-WOW, SO WHAT IS THIS THING?
-PATANJALI,
YOU DON'T KNOW?
IT'S, LIKE, A YOGA THING, YOU ACTUALLY HAVE T--
THIS IS HARD FOR SOME PEOPLE, I'VE NEVER HAD A PROBLEM,
TAKE ONE LEG, PUT IT UP HERE AND THE OTHER ONE UP HERE,
AND, UH,,,DRAWBACK BEING THAT IT STRETCHES OUT MY PUSSY,
BUT, UM, IT'S VERY CALMING,
-[ LAUGHS ]
-YEAH?
GIVE IT A TRY, -[ CHUCKLES ]
I ACTUALLY -- -IT'S NOT THAT HARD,
-NO, NO, I GOT TO USE THE BATHROOM REAL QUICK,
BUT WHEN I GET BACK, WE'LL TRY THE PUSSY-STRETCH THING,
[ LAUGHTER ]
-PERFECT, DO YOU KNOW WHERE IT IS?
-YOU GOOD? OKAY,
[ WATER RUNNING ]
[ WATER STOPS ]
-IT'S SARAH REUBEN,
-I DON'T BELIEVE YOU, THERE'S NO WAY,
-I'M TELLING YOU, IT'S THE SAME LITTLE VIRGIN FROM HIGH SCHOOL,
-PRESSING PLAY, -CHECK IT OUT,
-OH, OKAY, I'LL BELIEVE IT WHEN I SEE IT,
-[ GASPS ]
-TOTALLY HER, -OH, MY GOD!
-LOOK AT THE FACE,
-AH! IT'S REALLY HER!
-OH, MY GOD!
-NOW WATCH THIS, WATCH THIS, WATCH THIS, WATCH THIS,
-NO, I DON'T --
-WHAT'S UP, MAN?
-NO,
-HMM? -I CAN'T,
-[ SQUEALS ] -ALL RIGHT, LET'S BOUNCE,
-NO, NO, YOU SHOULD STAY,
YOU'RE GONNA GET INTO SOME KINKY SHIT,
-NO, FUCK THAT, LET'S GO,
-"THEY WATCH OVER ME,"
-[ LAUGHS ]
"THEY -- THEY PROTECT ME,
SOME FREAKY GHOST LIKES TO JERK OFF WHILE I SLEEP,"
WHAT IS THAT? [ LAUGHS ]
-OH, MY GOSH,
-GOD, DAWG, THAT BROAD IS CRAZY,
-YEAH, THE WHOLE GHOST THING, MAN,
-[ Laughing ] YES, -OH!
I MEAN, IT'S AMAZING TO ME HOW THE SCANDALOUS GIRLS
AREN'T NEARLY AS APPEALING AFTER YOU FIGURE OUT, LIKE,
THE FULL STORY BEHIND THEM, LIKE, WHY THEY'RE DIRTY,
-UH,,, THEY'RE ALWAYS APPEALING TO ME,
-OF C-- [ LAUGHS ]
-[ LAUGHS ] I MEAN,,,
-DUDE, I FEEL BAD FOR HER,
-YEAH? -YEAH,
-EH,
YOU WANTED TO STAY, HUH?
-NAH, -NO?
-NAH, I JUST WANTED YOU TO GET OUT INTO THE WORLD,
-[ SIGHS ] IT FELT GOOD TO GET OUT,
-YEAH,
-ACTUALLY, IT FELT GREAT TO GET OUT,
-THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING, DUDE, -[ Laughing ] YEAH,
I MEAN, THIS IS -- THIS IS ME,
YOU KNOW? -MM-HMM, MM-HMM,
-BUT I'M TRYING TO GET YOU IN SOME PUSSY, THOUGH,
-OH, NO, I CAN'T DO THAT,
-CAN'T WHAT? FUCK HOS?
-NO, MAN, NO,
I CAN-- I CAN'T --
I MEAN, LITERALLY, THE GUILT WOULD JUST GET TO ME,
AND I-I ACTUALLY HAVE, LIKE, A PHYSIOLOGICAL REACTION TO IT,
LIKE, THIS -- THIS NUMBING AT THE TOP OF MY HEAD,
AND IT'S JUST,,,
WHAT? YOU DON'T GET THAT?
-HUH? [ LAUGHS ]
WHAT? NO,
NO, I'M JUST -- I'M NOT TRYING TO MAKE YOU FEEL SILLY,
IT'S JUST, MY THING IS, I JUST GOT A GOOD GIRL
AND I'M NOT READY TO SETTLE DOWN -- THAT'S IT,
-WELL, SEE I -- HOW --
DUDE, I START FEELING GUILTY
IF I'M ON THE PHONE WITH MY PARENTS FOR TOO LONG
IF I KNOW THAT CAROLINE'S WAITING FOR ME,
-T,
T!
COME ON,
MAN, THEY WILL WALK ALL OVER YOU IF YOU LET THEM, MAN,
LOOK,,,
AND THIS AIN'T NO CONTROL-FREAK THING,
BUT, I MEAN, LIKE, THIS IS -- THIS IS JUST AN EXAMPLE,
YOU KNOW, CONTROL,
YOU GOT TO STAY IN CONTROL, TALK TO THEM --
-WHAT IS THAT? WHAT?
[ LAUGHS ]
-YEAH, -OH, MY -- I CAN SEE --
ALL RIGHT, THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT --
RIGHT HERE, THIS!
I JUST WISH THAT I COULD CRYOGENICALLY FREEZE CAROLINE
FOR LIKE FIVE YEARS AND THEN FUCK AROUND --
LIKE, STUFF LIKE THIS -- AND THEN THAW HER
AND THEN MAYBE WE GET MARRIED, YOU KNOW?
-TIM, -MAY-- MAYBE,
-ARE YOU LISTENING TO YOURSELF? [ LAUGHS ]
-IT'S LATE, I'M TALKING CRAZY,
-NO, MAN, YOU'RE TALKING REAL,
IT'S COMING STRAIGHT OUT THE SUBCONSCIOUS,
THAT'S THE TRUTH RIGHT THERE,
-YEAH,
-LOOK, MAN, FOR REAL,,,
YOU WOULD KNOW IF SHE WAS IT BY NOW,
-SEE, THAT'S THE THING, DUDE --
I DON'T THINK I WOULD EVER REALLY KNOW,
I DON'T THINK I WILL, -THAT'S BULLSHIT, BRO,
THAT'S COMING FROM YOUR BOY WHO LOVES YOU, HONESTLY,
IT'S BULLSHIT, MAN,
EITHER SHE MAKES YOU STRONGER OR SHE HOLDS YOU BACK,
THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW, T,
-[ SIGHS ]
HEY, LET ME SEE THAT VIDEO AGAIN,
-LOOK AT IT, YOU LITTLE FREAK,
[ LAUGHS ]
-OH, MY GOSH!
WHERE DO YOU FIND THESE GIRLS?
[ SIGHS ]
-I NEARLY CALLED THE POLICE,
I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE YOU WERE,
-I WAS OUT, [ SCOFFS ]
-YEAH, I KNOW, YOU COULD'VE CALLED,
-[ SIGHS ]
-LOOK, CAROLINE, I,,,
-[ SNIFFLES ]
-I'M HAVING A REALLY HARD TIME RIGHT NOW,
I'M NOT HAPPY,
-ME EITHER,
SO WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
-I DON'T KNOW,
I DON'T WANT TO BREAK UP,
-[ SOBS ]
-HEY, I LOVE YOU, OKAY?
AND I-I KNOW I HAVE A LOT OF THINGS
THAT I NEED TO IMPROVE ON,
BUT SO DO YOU,
-I KNOW,
I KNOW I DO,
-HEY, COME HERE,
I'M SORRY,
-[ SNIFFLES ]
I'M SNOTTY,
-[ CHUCKLES ] YOU KNOW WHAT I LIKE,
[ BOTH CHUCKLE ]
[ SMOOCHES ]
COME ON, YOU GOT TO KISS THEM, TOO,
-[ SMOOCHING ]
-YES! OKAY,
YOU ARE THE LAST PIECE, ERNESTO, I NEED YOU TO KISS THESE,
-UH, NO, I'M ALL RIGHT, -NO, NO --
-HE DOESN'T -- HE DOESN'T HAVE TO KISS THEM,
-I KNOW HE DOESN'T HAVE TO,
BUT IF YOU WOULD, THAT WOULD BE AMAZING,
I WON'T TELL ANYBODY, IT'LL BE AWESOME,
NO, NO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO, IT WOULD JUST MEAN A LOT TO ME,
-HELP YOU OUT, MAN, -YES!
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! JUST THE TOP ONE?
SO, I SAW VICTOR'S ACTING REEL TODAY,
-YEAH?
-YEAH, HIS HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE NAKED CRYING IN THE BATHTUB,
"FORREST GUMP," THE COMMUNITY-THEATER VERSION,
-OH, MY GOD,
-VICTOR AS FORREST GUMP,
YEAH, I NEVER WISHED DEATH UPON ANYBODY, BUT,,,
-HOW ABOUT A RAPING?
-[ Laughing ] JESUS,
-I KNOW, RIGHT? IT WOULD HELP,
-IT WOULD,
-OH, HANG ON,
-[ Laughing ] AH! WHAT'RE YOU DOING?
-YEAH, I GOT THIS SICK OBSESSION,
-AH! HEY, YOU GET IT?
-YEAH, -YEAH?
OH, NICE,
OKAY, THIS SONG WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE,
[ COUNTING CROWS' "UNTITLED (LOVE SONG)" PLAYS ]
-* YOURS WAS JUST A LOSER'S GAME *
HUH?
-* AND I DECIDED THAT I SHOULD PLAY *
* THROW YOUR ARMS AROUND MY NECK *
-OH,
-[ LAUGHS ] OW,
-WATCH YOUR HEAD,
-[ GIGGLES ]
-SO, IS THIS WHAT YOU'VE BEEN PLANNING?
-[ CHUCKLES ] NO,
WE'RE JUST HERE ON A NICE DAY TO SPEND SOME QUALITY TIME,
-IT'S OKAY IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING PLANNED,
YOU CAN TELL ME, -I DO,
I DO,
-YEAH, I JUST THOUGHT IT'D BE NICE
TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT FOR A CHANGE, THAT'S ALL,
-WE'RE DOING SOMETHING DIFFERENT RIGHT NOW,
WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SOMETHING EPIC?
-I JUST WANT TO GO AWAY FOR AN ENTIRE WEEKEND, TIM,
COME ON, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU WEREN'T WORKING ALL WEEKEND, YOU KNOW?
-OKAY, CAROLINE, THIS IS -- THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT,
THE NAGGING,
OKAY, COME ON,
I THOUGHT -- I THOUGHT WE WERE HAVING A NICE TIME HERE,
-YEAH, WE WERE, YOU STARTED IT,
-OKAY, WELL, I'M SORRY,
LOOK, I LOVE YOU, MY SWEET,
-PLEASE, DON'T,
TIM, IT'S HOT, STOP IT,
-WOW,
WHAT HAPPENED TO MY SWEET CAROLINE, HUH?
WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE WITH HER?
OH, HEY, DON'T -- DON'T MAKE A SCENE,
CAROLINE,
-HEY, WHAT KIND OF THING IS THAT TO SAY TO SOMEBODY, TIM?
[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]
YOU KNOW WHAT, TIM?
I'M MOVING BACK TO DENVER,
-[ Laughing ] OKAY, I THINK YOU NEED TO SIMMER DOWN,
-YOU THINK THAT'S FUNNY? -NO, I THINK THAT YOU'VE JUST --
-THEY'RE -- THEY'RE SHUTTING MY BRANCH DOWN,
I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL YOU BEFORE
BECAUSE YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT WORK WITH ME,
BUT, YEAH, THEY'RE SHUTTING IT DOWN,
SO I MAY AS WELL JUST GO HOME FOR A FEW MONTHS,
-WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WAIT, THAT'S --
YOU CAN TELL ME THESE KIND OF THINGS, CAROLINE,
IT'S -- YOU BROUGHT IN ALL THAT BUSINESS,
-YEAH, WELL, THEY'RE EXPANDING THE MAIN OFFICE,
-THAT'S STUPID,
I MEAN, YOU BROUGHT IN THE BUSINESS,
-GOD, WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE YOU CARE NOW
WHEN YOU NEVER CARED BEFORE?
LOOK, I'M GONNA GO HOME FOR A FEW MONTHS
WHILE THEY EXPAND -- UNLESS THEY CAN ME,
THEN I DON'T KNOW,
WE NEED TIME APART,
I NEED TO FIGURE,,, I DON'T KNOW,
MAYBE I'M GONNA GO BACK TO SCHOOL,
I NEED TO WORK OUT WHAT I WANT TO DO,
I-I'VE GOT TO FIGURE OUT MY FUTURE,
-[ SIGHS ]
-[SIGHS ] YOU'RE ONLY DELAYING THE INEVITABLE,
-I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU HAVE TO SHIP BOXES
IF IT'S ONLY FOR A COUPLE MONTHS,
WHAT -- I --
WHY ARE YOU BEING SO FUCKING DRAMATIC?
WHAT, DO YOU LIKE DRAMA?
I-I MEAN, ARE OUR LIVES SO BORING
THAT YOU HAVE TO MANUFACTURE
THIS BULLSHIT DRAMA ALL THE TIME?
OKAY, THAT'S NICE,
-[ LAUGHS ]
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
MMM,
[ LAUGHS ]
MM, IT'S GOOD, THOUGH, RIGHT?
-DON'T GO,
-SO, WHEN ARE YOUR INTERVIEWS?
-UH, I DON'T KNOW, WHEN ARE YOURS?
-NEXT WEEK,
-I ALREADY HAD MINE,
-I'M SO NERVOUS,
SO,,,
-"I'M SO NERVOUS,"
-REAL MATURE, TIM,
-YEAH, WELL, YOU'RE FREAKIN' LAME,
-HEY, -YOU KNOW, I'M NOT SURPRISED --
-STOP, -NO, SERIOUSLY,
DID YOU REALLY THINK THAT YOU COULD COMPETE?
I WENT TO PRINCETON, MAN, WHERE'D YOU GO, HUH?
AND THAT'S NOT SNOBBY TALK, OKAY?
I WORKED MY ASS OFF TO GET THERE,
OBOE LESSONS, COMMUNITY SERVICE, INCESSANT STUDY,
FUCKING MOCK TRIAL -- SINCE JUNIOR HIGH,
THAT'S WHAT WE WERE DOING
WHILE YOU WERE OUT FINGER-BANGING,
-I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOUR FACE WHEN I GET IN,
WHAT?
-Um, I'm just getting excited for the ski trip,
I just got off the phone to Mark, so,,,
-WITH MARK? IS IT JUST YOU AND MARK?
-Yeah,
WELL, THERE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THESE TWO OTHER GIRLS,
BUT THEY CAN'T MAKE IT, SO IT'S JUST ME AND HIM,
Um,,,
-COME ON, THE DUDE SKIS IN HIS JEANS,
YOU KNOW, FINE,
I'LL GO CALL SOME GIRL,
AND WE'LL GO LAWN BOWLING OR SOMETHING,
-Would you rather I skied alone?
-NO,
I DON'T LIKE IT, THOUGH,
-ARE YOU OKAY?
-I'M FINE,
DID THAT MAN'S INSURANCE GO THROUGH YET?
-UH,,,
NO, WE HAVE TO DISCHARGE HIM,
-WELL, THEN HE CAN TAKE HIS BEDSORES TO THE FREE CLINIC,
TIM,
-HEY, BOB,
YOU FEELING ALL RIGHT? -YEAH,
-YEAH? -MM-HMM,
HOW'S THAT LEG FEELING?
-HURTS AND IT ITCHES,
-YEAH?
-YEAH,
-LET'S GET YOU CLEANED UP HERE,
HEY, I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A CALL WHEN THAT LEG HEALS UP,
AND YOU BETTER BE WALKING,
YOU HEAR ME?
-YES, TIMOTHY,
-[ CHUCKLES ] WE TALKED ABOUT THAT,
YOU CUT THAT "TIMOTHY" GARBAGE OUT,
-[ CHUCKLES ]
-OH, THANKS,
-Hey,
-WHAT'RE YOU DOING?
-Uh, you know, same old, Waiting for you,
-YEAH?
-Yeah, [ Chuckles ]
-[ CLEARS THROAT ] I GOT THE LETTER BACK TODAY,
-And?
-YEAH,
-And?
-YOU KNOW, I ACTUALLY -- I ACTUALLY TRIED TO CRY EARLIER,
WHICH -- WHICH, UH,,,
I DON'T KNOW, I DIDN'T, SO I DON'T KNOW,
I WAS PROUD FOR SOME REASON,
I FELT,,,
I GUESS, MORE OF A MAN,
-Tim, you are a man,
You're the best man I know, You're amazing,
God, I wish I was there,
-I MISS YOU,
-I miss you, too,
You know what you need to do?
You need to pull yourself together
and do your undergrad again and then apply again, okay?
-NO,
I MEAN, WITH THE APPLICATION PROCESS,
IT'S GONNA TAKE ANOTHER THREE YEARS, CAROLINE,
I JUST --
I JUST GOT TO BE REALISTIC, OKAY?
I'M NOT GONNA BE A DOCTOR,
IT'S JUST NOT GONNA HAPPEN,
-Don't say that,
-[ SCOFFS ]
-So, you're just gonna give up on everything?
-IT'S NOT GIVING UP,
IT'S JUST ACCEPTING THE FACT THAT IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN,
WHAT, ARE YOU MAD? -No, you know what?
Fine, You know what?
You know what's best for you, so,,,
-OH, YOU'RE MAD, YOU'RE GONNA BE MAD, REALLY?
OH, I'M SO SORRY
THAT THE HORSE THAT YOU BET ON DIDN'T PULL THROUGH,
-No, Tim, that's not what I'm talking about,
That's not what I mean, -OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I GOT TO GO, OKAY? THA--
IT WAS -- IT WAS GOOD TALKING TO YOU,
-But Tim!
[ LAPTOP CLOSES ]
SKINNY, WHAT UP, MAN?
UH,,,
SO IT LOOKS LIKE I'M ACTUALLY NOT GONNA BE AN M,D, AFTER ALL,
UH, I'M JUST THINKING -- MAYBE IF YOU WANTED TO GO OUT,
UH, HAVE SOME LAUGHS, WHATEVER, YOU KNOW, UH,,,
GIVE ME A SHOUT, ALL RIGHT, BUD?
HEY, WELL, CALL ME WHEN YOU GET A MINUTE,
UH,,,
CALL ME,
YES, THANK YOU, DEANER,
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, DUDE, WE SHOULD TOTALLY HANG OUT,
-[ MOANING PASSIONATELY ]
-HEY, IS THIS SARAH?
[ CHUCKLES ]
YEAH, GUESS WHO THIS IS,
-SARAH SAID SHE HAD A CRUSH ON YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL,
-REALLY?
-[ Laughing ] YEAH,
AND THAT YOU WERE SOME BIG SKI RACER OR SOMETHING
BACK IN THE DAY,
-OH, YEAH, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT BIG,
UH, WHERE DO YOU THINK SHE IS?
-COULDN'T TELL YOU,
YOU KNOW HER?
-NOT REALLY,
-WHAT DO YOU DO?
-UH, I'M IN MED SCHOOL,
-I CAN SEE THAT, -MM-HMM,
WHAT DO YOU DO?
-I MANAGE A BAR,
BUT I WAS THINKING I MIGHT GO BACK TO SCHOOL,
YOU KNOW?
-HMM,
-MAYBE NURSING, EVEN,
-AH, NICE,
-YEAH,
I AM GONNA YELL AT SARAH,
[ CHUCKLES ]
-YEAH,
YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT'S ACTUALLY -- IT'S ACTUALLY FINE,
I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T BE HERE ANYWAY,
I GOT A LOT ON MY PLATE OF LATE,
SO,,, -OKAY,
-YEAH, I'M GONNA GO,
THANK YOU, THOUGH [CLEARS THROAT]
FOR THE, UH,,,
CINNAMON STICKS AND THE COMPANY,
-YOU'RE WELCOME,
UH,,,[ CHUCKLES ]
THANK YOU,
-[ CHUCKLES ]
-OKAY,
UH,,,
OKAY,
-BYE,
[ KNOCKS ON DOOR ]
-HEY,
LOOK, I'M -- I'M SORRY,
UH, I DON'T KNOW WHY, BUT,,,
I REALLY WANTED TO KISS YOU,
-[ CHUCKLES ]
-OH, OKAY,
UH, WOW, THAT WAS BAD,
I FEEL BAD, I SHOULDN'T -- I SHOULDN'T HAVE,
-NO, NO, NO, NO, IT'S VERY,,,SWEET,
-NO, LOOK, I'M SORRY, -NO, YOU'RE A SWEETHEART,
DON'T FEEL BAD, -OKAY,
YEAH, I'M -- I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY,
-IT'S FINE, OKAY?
-OKAY, YEAH, MM-HMM, -ALL RIGHT, WELL,,,
-YEAH,
BYE, -BYE,
ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
UH,,,
LOOK, I'VE JUST BEEN GOING THROUGH A LOT LATELY,
AND I THINK THAT --
-IT'S OKAY, I TOLD YOU IT WAS FINE, OKAY?
-UH, CAN I PLEASE FINISH MY THOUGHT?
-CAN YOU PLEASE MOVE YOUR HAND? -YEAH,
-THANKS,
[ LOCK CLICKS ]
-OH, YOU BITCH,
[ LOCK CLICKS ]
-OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE I CALL THE COPS,
-LOOK, I'M SORRY, I DID NOT --
ARE YOU FUCKING --
DON'T YOU FUCKING SLAM THE DOOR IN MY FACE!
-GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!
-ALL RIGHT,
O-OKAY, ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT,
OKAY, ALL RIGHT,
I JUST --
MY CAR IS THAT WAY, OKAY?
I-I HAVE TO GET BY YOU, OKAY?
OKAY, EASY,
-GET!
-FUCK YOU,
FUCK -- MOTHER FUCKER! WHAT?!
YOU WANT TO FUCKING GO?! HUH?!
YEAH, YOU KNOW WHO THE FUCK I AM?! HUH?!
-AAH!
[ DOOR OPENS ]
-OH, SHIT,
I THINK THIS LOOKS WORSE THAN IT IS,
-[ SIGHS ]
-I DIDN'T MEAN FOR YOU TO GET BEAT UP,
ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE OKAY?
-LOOK, I SWEAR THIS IS NOT ME,
FUCKIN',,,
[ SIGHS ]
I-I'M NOT REALLY MED--
I'M NOT REALLY IN MEDICAL SCHOOL, EITHER,
I MEAN, I KNOW THAT I SAID I WAS, BUT,,,
I MEAN, IF I BECOME THE MAN
THAT IS IN MY HEAD, EVENTUALLY,,,
I MEAN, LIKE, EVENTUALLY,,,
[ SIGHS ]
WITH LUCK I'LL BECOME THE MAN THAT'S IN MY HEAD,
-[ CHUCKLES ]
-WELL, I DON'T ACTUALLY MANAGE A BAR, EITHER,
-YEAH?
-[ CHUCKLES ] YEAH,
I GUESS WE'RE EVEN,
-YEAH,
-[ SIGHS ]
-I BET YOU'RE AMAZING WITH YOUR HANDS,
OH, WAIT, HOLD ON, I, UH,,,
I DON'T HAVE A CONDOM,
-SO NOW YOU THINK YOU'RE GETTING LAID, HUH?
-NO, I'M -- I'M SORRY, THAT WAS --
WOW, THAT WAS,,,
-WELL, FOR YOUR INFORMATION, MISTER,
I HAPPEN TO HAVE A FEW IN THE BEDROOM,
-HMM,
-[ MOANING PASSIONATELY ]
OH, GOD!
FUCK ME, YES!
OH!
OH, GOD!
-WELL, I THINK YOU'LL LIVE,
YEAH? -MM-HMM,
-UM, DO YOU HAVE ANY RUBBING ALCOHOL HANDY?
-UH, YEAH,
-[ GRUNTING ]
AAH!
-[ SPEAKING SPANISH ]
[ MONITOR BEEPING ]
-"PAIRED BY TWO MUCH DIFFERENT THAN US,
"IT'S A WONDER THEIR JUDGMENT WE EVEN DID TRUST,
"NOW WITH SIX YEARS GONE BY SO FAST,
"BOTH THE MATCHMAKERS AND THE SKEPTICS [CHUCKLES]
"WE THOUGHT WE'D NEVER OUTLAST,
"OUR TWO-PERSON REPUBLIC CORRUPTED BY NONE,
"AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY,,,
[ CHUCKLES ]
[ MOUSE CLICKS ]
[ CHUCKLES ]
"I NEED YOU" IS WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY, MY SWEET,
HEY, KENDAL, IT'S TIM,
UH, I GUESS I CALLED TO TALK ABOUT CAROLINE,
I'M SORRY, MAN, BUT LOVE COMES FIRST, YOU KNOW?
AND I-I THINK THAT ME NOT COMMITTING TO HER --
AND I'M TALKING, LIKE, BOTH FEET IN THE DOOR,
FULL-ON COMMITMENT -- HAS MADE HER CRABBY
AND IT HAS FILLED HER WITH SELF-DOUBT, AND,,,
I THINK JUST -- JUST GOING FOR IT,
ONCE AND FOR ALL, WILL PUT MY MIND AT EASE, TOO,
AND, I MEAN, WE COULD BE THAT FUNNY OLD COUPLE
AT THE PARTY THAT MAKES EVERYBODY LAUGH
WITH OUR BLUNT REPARTEE, YOU KNOW?
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
OH, MAN, I DON'T KNOW,
SHE -- SHE KEEPS ME ON MY TOES SHE -- SHE'S FUNNY
AND SHE'S SEXY AND SHE SKIS,
SHE DOESN'T BITCH ABOUT THE COLD,
I MEAN, YEAH, I-I MAY --
I MAY GO INTO THE GRAVE A LITTLE EARLIER THAN EXPECTED,
BUT, I MEAN, AT LEAST I WON'T BE BORED, RIGHT?
I MEAN, THAT'S LOVE, ISN'T IT?
I MEAN, IN SOME COUNTRIES, OR,,,
I DON'T KNOW,
UH, LOOK, MAN, I JUST -- I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS,
SO WILL YOU PLEASE CALL ME BACK?
I'M SORRY FOR THE LONG VOICEMAIL,
UH, CALL ME,
-SO, WHAT'D HE SAY?
-YOU SEEM HAPPY,
-I SEEM HAPPY? -UH-HUH,
-I'M ALWAYS HAPPY, -I KNOW,
[ Laughing ] NOT REALLY, YOU'RE NOT ALWAYS HAPPY,
-I AM, TOO, WHEN AM I NOT HAPPY?
MM,
-PLACE LOOKS NICE, IT LOOKS CLEAN,
-LOOK, CAROLINE --
-TIM --
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
-AFTER YOU,
-LISTEN,,,
I LOVE YOU,
AND I'M GONNA SUPPORT YOU NO MATTER WHAT,
DOCTOR OR NOT A DOCTOR,
I MEAN, I NEVER REALLY CARED ABOUT THAT ANYWAY,
-REALLY? -REALLY,
-HMM,
-BUT I KNOW THAT YOU HAVE SOME STUFF TO WORK OUT --
CAREER STUFF -- AND,,,
I'M GONNA LET YOU DO THAT,
MY DAD, UM, SAID HE COULD GET YOU A JOB AT HIS COMPANY,
IT'S IN SALES, BUT, YOU KNOW,,,
-[ CHUCKLES ]
[ SIGHS ]
YOU KNOW, MY FRIENDS WON'T CALL ME BACK ANYMORE,
I THINK IT'S 'CAUSE THEY KNOW I DIDN'T GET IN,
-WHAT? NO, -MM-HMM,
-WELL, HOW MANY TIMES DID YOU TRY TO CALL THEM?
-A FEW TIMES -- EACH,
-WELL, YOU KNOW, I USUALLY SAY
THAT IT'S BECAUSE YOU NEVER CALL THEM BACK,
BUT, HONESTLY,,,
NOBODY LIKES AN EAGER BEAVER, TIM,
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT'S REALLY SAD,
'CAUSE WHAT'S WRONG WITH BEING ENTHUSIASTIC
ABOUT SOMETHING OR SOMEONE?
-YEAH, I GUESS,
-THAT'S PROBABLY WHY WE'RE NOT MARRIED YET,
-WHAT?
-TIMMY,,,
I LOVE YOU,
WE JUST CLICK,
I MEAN, WE STILL DO, RIGHT?
WE STILL HAVE FUN TOGETHER,,, -YEAH,
-,,,AFTER SIX YEARS,
-YES,
-I THINK THAT IS WHY I NEED TO MOVE OUT
AND TAKE THE PRESSURE OFF OF THIS,
THIS IS TOO MUCH PRESSURE,
AND I'M GONNA STAY CLOSE BY, BUT,,,
IF YOU REALLY WANT ME TO MOVE BACK IN HERE,
THEN I'M GONNA NEED SOME PROMISES,
BY THE END OF THE YEAR, OKAY?
TIM?
-NO,
-WHAT DO YOU MEAN "NO"?
-NO, I THINK THAT WE'VE STAYED TOGETHER THIS LONG
BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T BEEN AN EAGER BEAVER,
I MEAN, YOU'VE KEPT ME INTERESTED
BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I'VE DONE SOMETHING WRONG
OR I HAVE TO CHEER YOU UP OR I HAVE TO WIN YOU BACK,
OKAY, YEAH, IT'S CHEMISTRY,
BUT IT'S TOXIC CHEMISTRY,
-SO, WHAT? YOU DON'T -- YOU DON'T WANT ME?
IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?
-I WANT YOU IN A FEW YEARS,
AFTER I'M ACCEPTED,
I MEAN, LOVE ISN'T LOVE
IN THE PRACTICAL SENSE OF THE WORD
IF THE TIMING ISN'T RIGHT,
AND NO MATTER HOW MUCH IT HURTS ME TO LET YOU GO,
IT JUST,,,
-YOU'RE SO FUCKING COLD, TIM,
JUST GET AWAY FROM ME, OKAY?
DON'T TOUCH ME!
YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU'RE GONNA MAKE A GREAT DOCTOR, TIM,
YOU GOT A REAL KNACK FOR EMOTIONAL DETACHMENT,
[ SIGHS ]
[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]
YOU KNOW, I WOULD'VE WAITED FOR YOU,
TIM,,,
-YEAH,
-I SLEPT WITH THREE GUYS WHEN I WAS IN DENVER,
-WOW, YOU SLUT,
[ SCOFFS ] FUCK YOU,
WITH WHO?
-WHAT DO YOU CARE?
-WITH WHO?
-WITH, UH, A GUY IN A BAR
AND THEN TWO GUYS THAT WERE FRIENDS OF FRIENDS, OKAY?
NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY CAR,
-WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THEM? -I HAD SEX WITH THEM,
I JUST TOLD YOU,
-YOU HAD --
-SEX -- S-E-X! I FUCKED ALL THREE OF THEM!
NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY CAR AND THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE!
-WHY DON'T YOU FUCK ME?
-FUCK ME WITH YOUR BIG COCK,
CAN WE DO THIS?
-WE CAN TRY,
[ COUNTING CROWS' "UNTITLED (LOVE SONG)" PLAYS ]
-* IF TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT, THEN TODAY IS MY DAY *
* THAT I SHOULD HANG IT ALL ON DISPLAY *
* BUT YOURS WAS JUST A LOSER'S GAME *
* AND I DECIDED THAT I SHOULD PLAY *
* THROW YOUR ARMS AROUND MY NECK *
* I WON'T BE SOON TO FORGET
* THROW YOUR ARMS AROUND MY NECK *
* I WON'T BE SOON TO FORGET
* FELT THE WIND'S DIRECTION BRINGING THE CHANGE *
* CLOUDS SO SOFTLY FULL OF RAIN *
* THE SUMMER FELL AND THE WINTER SPRANG *
* NOW IT'S ALL A FEELING I CAN'T GET BACK AGAIN *
* THROW YOUR ARMS AROUND MY NECK *