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Hey, there you go,
How was the game?
0-8, Tackleberry here even got booted in the fourth,
Crap, I was rooting for you,
We can't all be big winners like Stan The Man here,
Oh, yeah, yeah,
You better watch it or I'll tell your mom you pulled in here smelling like hooch,
Yeah, Yeah, I didn't get this smart by being stupid,
Oh, then how did you?
Good Lord's work, I guess,
- Sure wasn't from no books, - Yeah,
Hey, keep to the back roads, Hey,
- Head on a swivel, huh? - All right,
- Thanks for the wise words, Yeah, - You should be a guidance counselor,
Stanley, I know you're there, I can hear you breathing,
What you got, Stanley?
Okay, I got 592 dol,,, No,
Oh, jeez, 529 dollars and 34 cents,
Oh, shit,
Well, you want me to do a recount?
No, no, no, I got a shift to turn over and a poker game to go to,
Ain't no way I'm recounting the drawer over a damn 34 cents?
Are you sure? Because I'll start from scratch,
There's no problem,
You know Monday's my last shift?
Yeah, Thirty-eight years to the day,
Yeah, 38, that's right, That's what they said the word on the street is,
It's Tuesday morning technically, you know, according to payroll,
Then it's hasta la vista, baby,
That's The Terminator, It's from,,,
That's T2 actually,
I don't know what we going to do without you, Stanley,
Guess we'll have to shut the whole joint down, huh?
I doubt that,
Did you find a replacement for the graveyard shift yet?
Yeah, That's what I'm working on,
Oh, whoever you get, I just hope they're up to snuff,
You know, it's like my mom always used to say:
"Some people turn up their sleeves, and some just don't turn up at all,"
Screw Shazz,
She's jealous because you're finally getting out of this shithole,
Albion is not a shithole,
If you ask 10 average Americans
to describe Albion, Michigan, in two words,
"shit" and "hole" will be at the top of their list,
I mean, why would anybody ever come to Albion?
Well, a lot of people go to the cider mill,
Hey, could you take me to pick up some of those moving boxes later?
I don't wanna rummage through my sister's garage,
- You live there, - Still feels intrusive,
I can't afford to be buying a bunch of empty boxes just for moving,
I'm short of cash as it is,
Buying empty boxes does feel kind of stupid,
I should be studying for my DMV exam,
You still worried about that test?
I told you, only retards and ex-cons fail that thing,
What do you know about this replacement of yours?
Nothing, except his name's Jevon,
Jevon?
- The fuck kind of name is that? - Heck if I know,
I just hope he's not some fricking deadbeat,
I'm mostly a homebody anyway,
Jevon Williams,
Is that how you typically sit for an entrance interview?
My bad, Didn't realize this was an interview,
I'm asking questions, You're answering them, aren't you?
Now, it says here you just got out of county,
Have you made a plan for gainful employment?
I applied for a few jobs around town,
but I've quit or been fired from most of them,
So kind of puts me in a tough spot,
But I did get a call back from Oscar's Chicken N' Fish,
It's a regional chain, I wouldn't exactly call it gainful,
I'm assigning you Officer Kelly, who just transferred from Corrections,
Hi there, It's nice to meet you, You can just call me Evelyn,
She'll meet you here tomorrow at 2
to go over the conditions of your probation in more detail,
Okay,
So I get it now, So is it like,,,? It's like "good cop, bad cop"?
- Oak and the willow? - Mr, Williams,
full-time employment and enrollment in school or vocational training,
These are your basic requirements,
Fail to meet these and your probation will be in violation,
What does that mean?
That means that you'll go back to jail for the remainder of your sentence,
So 10 months,
Defacing a city monument's a serious offense,
Not to mention, you called the officer a "house Negro,"
resisting arrest and the little stunt you pulled on the escalator,
- It was the most direct route, bro, - That's enough,
You can go,
Damn, boy, You all right, baby lungs?
Hey, chronic isn't exactly easy to get in county, bro,
Yeah, all right,
What's that saying?
You can never go home again,
You ain't gotta go home, but you sure as hell can't crash on my couch, homo,
You should embroider that on a throw pillow,
All right, so that's gonna put Dylan and his beautiful bride up $500 in points,
- No welcome home party? - There's my sugar plum!
Oh, baby,
- Where the hell you been? - I told you, I had some stuff to do,
My baby, always scheming up something,
Didn't they feed you nothing in there? You're thin as a string bean,
What's up, Uncle Charles?
What ever happened to "three hots and a cot"?
How was the Old Jackson County Country Club?
I don't wanna hear nothing about that in here, No way,
You wanna say hi to Papa? Say hi to Papa,
- Hey, big guy, - Come on,
Where you going? I just got here,
- What's up? - Have you been smoking?
- No, I told you, I'm done with that, - Then why are your eyes so red?
I don't know, Seasonal allergies?
Did you read the article I sent you on marijuana and memory loss?
No, Must have forgot,
I hate to jog your memory, but Carter's rash is coming back,
What'd the doctor say?
Sydney slept through the appointment, Tell him,
I took a nap between shifts because I was working a double,
Selling that phony eye cream to them old white ladies?
It's not just eye cream, It's a daily, organic skin care program,
And it's temporary,
Can you run Carter by the clinic later?
I thought you needed to use the car, Don't you start work tonight?
I'll call them and tell them I'm running late,
Sounds like Foot Locker all over again,
What did I tell you about smoking around Carter?
He's way over there, Besides, they're lights,
Come on, you can drop me off on the way,
- Okay, I need to do my hair first, - To go to the doctor?
I'm not leaving the house, looking like this,
Hello!
Yo, open the door!
The dining room's closed! Drive-through only after 10!
- No, I'm training, Open the door! - We're closed! Drive-through only!
I'm Jevon, I'm training,
Yo!
Oscar's Chicken N' Fish, This is Stanley, How may I help you?
Yo, it's Jevon, man, I'm supposed to be starting tonight,
Oh, hey, how's it going?
I'm getting eaten alive out here, man, Open the damn door!
Oh, crap, Oh, okay, hang on, Be right there,
Come on, what'd you think, I was gonna rob the joint?
Don't answer that,
I'm Jevon,
I'm Stanley,
Well, come on, We'll get started on your paperwork,
You run this show by yourself?
Pretty much,
Fernando does prep till around midnight or so,
and then it's a one-man show till 6,
Who's Fernando?
Well, he does prep,
Had to leave early for laser tag,
So,,,
You got any fast-food experience?
Just eating it,
How about on register?
Nah, man, but I mean, I could count,
So are you a people person?
I thought I already had the job, Shazz asked me if I could start right away,
So I mean, what, are you like the unofficial mayor of this place?
I'm the night manager,
What's Shazz, then?
She's the head manager,
What's the difference?
Just the time of day we work, We're pretty much like equals,
She's not your boss?
Well, we got kind of,,,
Sort of a co-type of thing,
- It sounds like a simple hierarchy to me, - Okay,
This is the employee handbook,
It's got all the rules in it, It's got,,,
It's got cooking temperatures, It's got closing procedures,
- I like to refer to this as our bible, - As your bible,
You come up with that by yourself?
Oh, yeah, Sort of,
That's clever,
Okay, now this form here,
This states that you read the handbook,
You got a pen?
You're supposed to read the handbook first,
So you get three unexcused absences before you're suspended without pay,
What if the bus is running late?
I've been taking the bus for 38 years, and I've only been late once,
And that's because the bus driver had a stroke and crashed into a Jiffy Lube,
And I had to work the entire shift with a sprained wrist,
Just a regular Willis Reed, huh?
There's a lot more goes into this job than what's in the handbook,
There's an art to the third shift, You gotta do a little bit of everything,
You gotta cook and clean and prep and serve
and improvise,
Once I had to make my own pickles,
And once we hosted a birthday party and we ran out of ketchup,
- What'd you do? - I did what I had to,
It wasn't pretty,
This is where the magic happens,
Every sandwich is made right here,
Chicken on the right, fish on the left, And you don't never mix the two,
- Separate but equal, - Yeah, sort of,
The chart up here tells you everything goes on each sandwich,
I try to be conservative with the pickles,
I do three per sandwich, Yeah, so that's what it's got here,
I,,, You know, that's about it, Just follow the rules,
Oh, don't use the stall in the men's room,
There's a bit of a logjam,
Goddamn!
Bro,
You know, I think honey mustard's our best sauce,
A lot of people like ranch and barbecue, But I think honey mustard's our best,
Nine times out of 10, I can tell you what kind of sauce
people are gonna get even before they order,
Sauce whisperer, huh?
High school and college kids and stuff, I almost always give ranch,
I call them the ranch generation,
And girls, and especially moms and stuff, they got fancier taste,
so they almost always get honey mustard,
And old people, I don't know,
they always get barbecue,
I guess that's because that's all they know,
Yeah, How about you?
I'm also a barbecue kind of guy, Yeah, I guess it's in my DNA,
Oh, yeah,
- So you went to Albion High, huh? - Yeah, on occasion,
I was supposed to walk in '71, That's the year we went to state,
Yeah, I remember seeing the black-and-white photos in the gym
looking like a bunch of Jimmy Chitwoods and shit,
That team would've beat the crap out of the team they got there now,
Are you kidding me, man?
Those goofy, corny motherfuckers, You're out of your damn mind,
Ain't no wonder you never graduated,
I could have if I wanted to,
Oh, yeah? Then why didn't you?
Because I didn't want to,
So how come you sporting that class ring, then?
I don't know,
I got it my junior year, I figured I paid for it,
Motherfucker,
Oh, yeah, you gotta watch them poppers,
Your arms will end up looking like ground chuck,
Hey, check this out,
They're like battle wounds, huh?
Oh, no,
Oscar's Chicken N' Fish, this is Stanley, How may I help you?
Hey, it's Jake from Ten Palms Nursing down in Sarasota,
- Sorry to call so early, - Hey, how's it going?
Your mom had bit of a scare today,
- Is she all right? - Everything turned out to be fine,
She seems to have slipped back into atrial fibrillation,
She slipped in what?
Atrial fibrillation, It's a temporary and minor heart arrhythmia,
Well, it sounds serious,
The doctor had a look and he can resolve it for now,
But we're monitoring the situation just in case,
She's gonna be fine,
You scared the heck out of me there,
Yo, Stanley! Do you guys use the five-second rule?
No! Hang on, I'll be right there!
Are you still wanting to move her out next week?
- Yeah, yeah, Hundred percent, yeah, - Are you sure?
Yeah, no, she needs to be with family,
Why you think I'm driving all the way down there? To get an apartment together,
We're sorry to see her go,
I'll start processing her transfer papers, first thing Monday,
You know, wait, hang on, I'll grab her,
- I'm gonna have to call you back, - All right, Are you sure?
Hey! Sorry about that,
You know, bureaucracy kind of goes at its own pace, so,,,
Yeah, Don't we all?
Oh, you,,,
You actually went to school with my daughter, didn't you?
Cynthia, Cynthia Kelly?
Oh, yeah, I remember her,
She was in all that shit with the flags, right?
Yeah, color guard,
Yeah, yeah, that's it,
You,,, You wrote the column, right, for the school paper?
- What was it called? - "Get a Load of This,"
Oh, man, yeah, I loved that, That cracked me up,
It cracked me up, It did,
And you did that,,, The hit piece on the local teachers' union, right?
What did you call them?
- "A zit on the face of organized labor," - Yeah,
Do you still write?
Yeah, Yeah, I try to,
Whenever I have free time, But I haven't had much lately,
I just had a son, so,,,
Well, that'll,,, Yeah,
How's fatherhood wearing on you?
It's good, Yeah, it's going good,
That's good,
So, what's the protocol here?
They are recommending 100 hours of community service,
monthly reporting, mandatory employment or schooling,
- and biweekly drug testing, so,,, - Like pissing in a cup?
Toxicology screening, yeah,
Hey! Look what I found, You remember this?
Old Stan The Man?
I wasn't too bad in middle school,
You weren't too bad till they made you wear skates,
- You coming tomorrow? Throw some darts? - Why, so you can stick me with the bill?
We split that even Stephen,
You guys had like 10 beers, I had one fricking Mountain Dew,
You had more than one Mountain Dew,
It was free refills!
I still don't see what your big rush is, Running off with your panties in a bunch,
I told you, the nursing home I got my mom in is a dump,
Besides, if I don't leave now, I'll never go,
Nothing here for me anyways,
Suit yourself, Don't pitch a bitch about missing the gang once you're in Florida,
There's a reason snowbirds fly back every year,
I thought I asked you not to smoke that no more in here, Rich,
I thought you left,
No, not till Tuesday,
I thought today was Tuesday,
It's Friday,
My bad!
Jevon? Jevon?
- Yo, - Chicken tenders,
- Chicken tenders are up, - What?
- Chicken tenders are up, - I thought you were on the fryer,
They're right behind you,
Dude, I'm getting crushed here,
Oh, for crying out loud, Are you serious?
Does Fernando ask you to bread onion rings?
- No, because that's not his job, - Right,
My job was to follow your instructions, You told me to wrap the sandwiches,
Yeah, and now I'm telling you to grab the fryer,
I can't do both, man,
You want me to disobey your original instructions?
That's a slippery slope we're heading down,
You like to talk, don't you? Fernando, can you get the fryer, please?
- Here, - Don't lift the bag, Jesus,
Excuse me,
There you go, Thank you,
Good night!
You know, a big part of working here is teamwork,
It says so right in the handbook,
Teamwork? What, are we Crockett and Tubbs?
You told me to wrap the sandwiches, so that's what I did,
Sometimes you gotta do more than the bare minimum,
Oh, I definitely plan on just doing the bare minimum,
Well, what is that supposed to mean?
Do you expect me to bust my ass for 9,25 an hour, for what?
So some corporate prick can add a game room onto his McMansion?
- Gary,,, - Please,
Gary's not like that,
This place has been here since the '50s,
When people come here, they expect good food and good service,
- This place is practically a landmark, - Man, the food here sucks,
Why do you think everybody goes to McDonald's?
Well, it's put a roof over my head for 38 years,
I don't have the luxury to take a fricking stand against the man,
Yo, I'm not gonna be here no 38 years,
And if I'm still here at your age, man, put me out of my misery, please,
- Hey, I'm going on a break, - So you asking me or telling me?
Pick one, You're the boss,
Well, don't be lollygagging,
What the hell is this?
- A hamburger? - It's supposed to be,
That's what it said on the menu, That's what I paid for,
Too bad it's a goddamn meatsicle!
- Have you bitten into a frozen hamburger? - Not that I remember, no,
Have you ever driven a half hour home to three screaming kids
and then bitten into a frozen hamburger?
No,
This shit's about to get fixed right here,
Okay, Yeah, Oh, yeah, yeah,
Just, you know, drive around the window and,,,
We'll take care of it, Yeah,
Well, how the hell did that happen?
I don't think he left it on the grill long enough,
I know that, I meant, weren't you supervising?
- No, I was on break, - You was with Dale?
No, not with Dale,
- I just don't think he's a good fit here, - That isn't up to you,
Yeah, that's what I'm saying,
Let me explain something to you, okay?
Training Jevon is your responsibility,
And if you don't, I'll hold on to your check till you do,
That's just bull, Shazz, and you know it,
You think I give a damn?
- Yeah, but,,, - Save the buts, Stanley,
Jevon is your responsibility, and it's your job to train him,
Well,,,
She was acting like an entitled brat, You know, the universe settled the score,
- No, you settled the score, - Me, as a part of the universe,
What part of the universe is that?
A universe where assholes like her don't get to shit on whoever they want,
They're not assholes,
They're customers,
God! Doggone it,
You good? Here,
You know, this wasn't my dream job when I started,
But it's turned out to be pretty darn good for me,
Okay, you can laugh,
But I like what I do,
It's something I'm good at, and that means something to me,
Do you know Fernando was a high school geography teacher in El Salvador
before he had to leave because of all the shootings and drugs and stuff?
And now he makes twice as much as he made back there,
Sometimes you just gotta make your own breaks,
Look at Brett Favre,
Hello! Is anybody there?
Can I get a small fry with extra ketchup?
Oh, come on, Sam,
The drive-through is for vehicles only, for safety,
I fought in Afghanistan, Don't tell me about no safety,
No, you didn't,
And how many times I gotta tell you I can't serve you on foot?
- Fuck this, I wanna talk to a manager, - Why you always gotta do this?
He said to kick rocks, you booze bag!
So that's how you treat a loyal customer?
A veteran?
You're lucky there's glass between us, kid,
Otherwise I'd jack you up bigtime,
I wish I could do that,
Just tell somebody off like that,
Yeah, it's definitely an acquired skill,
There's just so many people I'd just like to say the heck with,
Yeah, it could be useful sometimes,
It's also probably the reason I'm stuck where I am now,
shooing off drunken lowlifes and seasoning curly fries, man,
- No offense, - No,
Well, ain't this a bitch?
Shazz's gonna go through the roof if she sees this,
Just,,,
Which way are you headed?
I thought I might catch the 48,
You?
Same,
So how many miles you got on her?
Hundred eighty-something,
Used to be my girlfriend's, but she'd just as soon take the bus,
Is she reliable?
My girlfriend?
No, the,,,
I'm not an expert but yeah,
I don't see why not,
Where'd you say you was going?
Sarasota,
It's in Florida,
My mom lives down there,
So I can't afford no lemon,
Hey, what you see is what you get,
Think I can take it for a spin around the block?
You got a driver's license I can hang on to?
I left it at work,
All right,
But it ain't got no insurance, so if you break it, you buy it,
Okay, It's a deal,
Okay,
Let's stretch this pony's legs a little bit,
What do you say?
Okay, okay,
Learn how do drive, asshole!
Stop,
Road hog!
Oh, God,
Just defensive driving,
Read the darn manual,
God,
What the hell?!
Copy,
He says he's willing to let it slide for 500,
In terms of the bus,
the city will be in touch with you, but it doesn't look that bad,
Five hundred bucks? Five,,,?
That's like half the price of the whole car,
It's either that or buy it at full price,
Well, what good's a car with only three doors?
It'll make getting in and out a whole lot easier,
It could have been worse,
Another half second, it could have been you instead of that door,
In terms of driving without a license, since you got a clean record
and you seem like a stand-up guy, I'm not gonna charge you,
Next time I won't be so forgiving, Understand?
Yes, sir,
Enjoy,
I'm not complaining about the job,
I'm just stating facts,
Fried food is the number one cause for high cholesterol rates
among African Americans,
- I'm too tired for it, Jevon, - Too tired for what?
This,
Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one carrying my weight around here,
Carrying your weight?
Syd, I'm wearing a name tag and a visor,
Yeah, until next week, when you show up high as a kite
or get fired for lecturing your boss on the alienation of labor,
I'm thinking about moving back with my parents,
What?
- That's like an hour away, - Well, what choice do I have?
Sleeping on your mom's air mattress
and returning pop bottles to make ends meet,
It's temporary,
That's what you said about the last place,
And it was,
Everything is temporary with you, Jevon,
I'm done moving from place to place, I'm done being broke, I'm done,
Yeah, you mentioned that,
- So, what about Carter, then? - What about Carter?
You realize you've hardly been home since you got out, right?
Okay,
So that's what this is about,
- I told you I was at Brandon's, - Yeah, Writing?
- Clearing your head, right? - Yes!
- Maybe, - Don't bullshit me, Jevon,
- You haven't picked up a pen in months, - It's not as easy as picking up a pen!
- Then what is it? - I don't know!
But I can't figure it out with all this shit hanging over my head!
Is that what we are to you?
I didn't mean that,
Now, are you sure?
You've barely looked in Carter's direction since you got out,
Jevon, I gave up everything to try and do this together,
I gave up track, I sacrificed my scholarship,
I'm here, aren't I?
So, what are you talking about?
Just being here is not enough,
I don't know how I'm even gonna get down there,
I barely had enough dough to make it before the accident,
- What about flying? - Flying? What, are you out of your tree?
Well, Rusty and my sister flew down to North Carolina
for that civil war thing,
- They said it wasn't too bad, - No way,
- I'm not that cuckoo, - I'm just saying,
You could stick around here a couple more months
and save up a little more dough,
No, I already told the nursing home my mom would be out of there by next week,
- They probably already gave her bed away, - What about your brother?
That prick's got more money than the pope,
No way, That's the last thing I wanna do,
- What's up? - Hey, Jevon,
Dale, this is Jevon,
Dale's been giving me some driving tips,
All I'm saying, they're not gonna throw your mom out on the street,
It don't work that way, you know,
Plus, taking care of old people ain't easy,
You ever changed a diaper?
But with a full-size deuce in it, not a kiddie shit,
No, not yet,
I shit myself once,
Band class, Sixth grade, French horn, Went for the high note, boom,
Sauce,
Cleaning that up was pretty bad, And that was my own, Follow me?
Oh, shit,
What up, Jevon?
What's up, bro-bro?
- You moonlighting or something? - Nah, man, I'm just covering for a homey,
- What up, Big Stan? - You know Jevon?
Well, starting next week, he's gonna be head honcho around here,
Honcho?
Yeah, Monday's my last shift,
I'm heading down to Margaritaville,
Hey,
Yeah,
- It's 8,60, - Don't look like no side hustle to me,
Boy look like he slaying hush puppies,
- What kind of sauce do you want, man? - Barbecue,
I don't know if it's these onions
or this shit going down in Flint that's making me cry,
Why don't you try wearing gloves?
It won't burn as bad,
It's transferred mostly through the hands,
You know, the whole thing reeks of a failing autocracy,
Yeah, I know,
So try putting on the gloves,
Let me ask you something, How much you make an hour?
Thirteen fifty,
Thirteen fifty?
After 38 fucking years?
- That ain't bad change, - Yeah, for a crossing guard,
I started at 3,10,
Three ten?
Damn, man, Have you ever heard of inflation?
My cousin manages at a Hardee's and makes 15,75 an hour,
And she's, like, the least responsible person I know,
Do you realize how much this place has profited off of your crotchety ass
for the past 30-whatever years?
They've literally made hundreds of thousands of dollars off your back,
Did they ever share any of it with you?
- Well, no, but,,, - Yeah,
See?
See, man, that's what I'm saying, man,
Well, that's your opinion,
Hey,
It's my own special recipe,
I call it The Stan-wich,
This looks legit, man,
Just don't tell Shazz you're eating on the clock,
Prep's wrapped, I'm taking off,
Listen, Fernando, can you empty the grease traps on your way out?
They're starting to reek,
So how much longer until we gotta prep breakfast?
We got a while,
I always say, the first half of graveyard's fighting off drunks,
The second half's fighting off boredom,
You're gonna start talking again, aren't you?
No,
You're not following through,
Well, wait,,,
You gotta bend your knees and follow through,
Bend your knees, Squeeze your core,
That's game, That's game, baby,
Okay, rematch, We got a rematch,
All right, If you wanna hold another L, that's on you,
I do, Yeah, I do,
Did you see that story about that dude in Tampa
who got high on bath salts, ate his neighbor's face?
Oh, no,
Or the coroner in Coral Gables,
they found like 50 frozen dicks in his freezer, man,
Florida is bonkers, man,
Now you're giving me the willies,
I go first,
- Fifty dicks, - Frozen,
Hey, what's this?
My probation officer, in all of her white liberal guilt,
suggested I sign up for community college,
- What for? - My thoughts exactly, man,
I don't know why anybody would pay some stiff 50 grand a year
for some shit that they can learn on the Internet,
I don't think college can teach a real writer shit,
I think experience comes at a cost,
but it sure ain't a college tuition,
I don't know, I think college sounds like fun,
You ever see Animal House?
Bend your knees,
Would you,,,?
Jevon, I,,,
This,,, That's it, I'm done, I'm done, You won't stop talking,
What do you wanna drink?
Sierra Mist, please,
So, what do you write? Like, raps and stuff?
Do I look like a rapper?
Nah, man,
Journals,
Blogs, Political commentary,
I used to have a column in the school newspaper,
- You did? - Yeah,
I used to want to be a writer,
but inspiration is hard to come by on an empty stomach, so,,,
Who said that?
You were class of '71?
Should've been,
Were you there when they,,,?
When they killed that Ricky Powell dude?
That Black kid they beat down behind the school?
Boy, I haven't heard that name in a long time,
No, I wasn't right there, But I remember all the hoopla about it,
You know the guys that did it?
Yeah, I knew them, Walt was in my shop class,
I remember my grandpa telling me stories about it,
Plus, all the,,,
The plaques and everything around school,,,
Yeah,
Those dudes got away with murder and shit,
Well, yeah, you know, who knows what happened?
Those guys' lives were ruined because of that trial, So,,,
Wait, you think,,,?
You think that their lives were ruined?
The only reason that dude is not coming back
is because of the color of his skin,
Oh, God, here we go, Why do you,,,?
Why do you guys always have to play the race card?
What the,,,? Somebody says something you don't agree with,
it's like, "Oh, yeah, it's Black and white,"
Okay, So now Black people are to blame for institutionalized racism?
Well, heck if I know,
But nobody ever give me nothing,
You know, you guys just keep talking about all this,
you know, white privilege, Jesus!
Just stop, Just stop,
You know, all the hidden benefits of being white,,,
I worked my butt off for everything I got,
Yeah, with the benefit of being white,
That's just freaking baloney,
That's just baloney and you know it,
Yeah, baloney,
Yo, we got any more markers?
- What's the matter with that one? - It doesn't write,
- Did you try shaking it? - What do you think?
- Did you try wetting the end? - Dude, it's out of ink,
Let me get a number four meal,
With a Pepsi, Diet,
Y'all don't have frozen custard anymore?
Not since high school,
I still get a family discount?
What do you want, Jack?
I just got off the phone with Mom,
I thought she was just talking nonsense,
but then I ran into Dale at the Dollar General,
You know, I still can't believe that you stuck her in that dump,
- We both agreed to it, - You said it was top-notch,
- It's more than she ever did for us, - She worked her hump off for us,
The woman worked in a plastics plant and was drunk half her life,
No wonder she hardly knows where she is,
I don't know what my going down there's got anything to do with you anyways,
Because we both know who's gonna have to clean things up
after your little plan goes kaput,
You're taking up more than you can handle,
Like you would know how much I could handle,
Yeah, I'd know a lot better than anybody,
It's on me,
No,
Diana doesn't want me eating that shit no more,
I know you're trying to do the right thing here,
Maybe it's time to let go,
That's your brother?
Yeah,
Man,
He's been on top of me since day one,
Sounds a lot like my mom,
If she were any more smothering, I might die from asphyxiation,
It's a wonder I made it this far with my sanity intact, man,
Really?
I'd do dang near anything for my mom,
It's because of her, I am where I am now,
Yeah, me too,
I was in the parking lot,,,
when they beat up Ricky that day in school,
Shit,
Were you there when he died?
As soon as it started, me and Dale took off,
I wasn't any further away than that fence,
Why didn't you say anything in court?
No one asked,
Shazz is here, Stanley, She's asking for you,
- Stanley? - Yes? Yup,
- Have you seen my spare key? - Which one?
The set that I keep here, Thus the name spare,
Not lately, no,
When do you remember seeing it last?
Come on, I'm locked out of my house, This is important,
Not off the top of my head, I don't remember,
Okay,
Did you at least train Jevon how to do the night deposits?
- Last night, yeah, - Okay, good,
- Could I get my check? - After you finish training Jevon,
Are you serious?
- What's up? - What's up is my patience,
I can't find my keys,
How you doing on your training? You feel good?
Yeah, Transformation's almost complete,
- Only thing missing is my paper hat, - This is such bull, Shazz,
Company policy, Don't start with me, What do you want me to say?
Show me where it says that in the handbook,
You wanna know where it is?
It's under this new section called "Because I Said So,"
- I read that chapter, - It's a good one, right?
Are you messing with me?
I talked to Gary, It's a joint determination,
Joint determination? Okay, So now you wanna use fancy words,
Oh, my God,
You're lucky I just don't shit on the floor and hit the door,
The fuck? Come on, Calm down,
No, No, Because I'm sick of this crap,
I've done everything you guys asked me to, and I never complain about nothing,
And all I'm asking is for you to treat me fair,
- Treat you fair? - Yeah,
What do you know about being treated unfairly, Stanley?
Well,,,
Okay,
Treat you unfairly,
Have a good evening, y'all,
The heck with this place,
Thirty-eight years for what?
Take it easy, man,
Don't go full Kaczynski on us,
I knew you'd take her side, It just,,, God, it figures,
I'm not taking her side,
I'm just saying, like it or not, Shazz is at the top of the heap,
You said so yourself,
All right,
- I'm gonna go take care of the bathroom, - No, No, it's fine, I'll do it,
Nah, it's all good,
Just consider it a final initiation ritual,
- Hey, where's the plunger at? - Where do you think it is?
It's in the bathroom,
- You got an extra smoke? - I'm taking my 15,
Are these the ones you want, man?
That explains that stinking-ass breath,
Nasty as hell, man, What's wrong with you, eating those?
You gonna buy something or what?
- The fuck you just say to me? - I said, are you gonna buy something?
Some of us have to get back to work,
You got a lot of nerve, old school, You best watch yourself in these streets,
Yeah, all right, Whatever that means,
Would you like to try our new Big Black Cherry Super Freeze?
No, just the usual,
- I'll kick your old ass, grandpa, - Kick his old ass, Grandpa,
Why are you serving this clown? Look at him,
- What the fuck you got on, my guy? - Hey, bozo, Right,
Work clothes,
You've been working a long time, you should retire too,
That dude's old as hell,
Dude, I'm getting killed over here, man, Where you been?
What the hell happened to you?
My life was a whole lot easier before I met you,
- What are you talking about? - I'm a lot of things,
but I ain't wrong about that one,
How did they know?
- How did who know what? - Don't play dumb,
You making it a little hard, man,
How did them guys know that I had all that money?
Money?
- Wait, what is that supposed to mean? - Who told them?
Can I place an order?
Sorry, ma'am, I'll be right with you,
What, are you concussed or something, man? How the hell is this my fault?
I worked my butt off my whole life, and you just float through life,
doing as little as possible,
Who do you think's gotta pick up the slack?
Is this what you call floating?
You honestly think
that this whole freeloading universe is out to get you?
It's all one vast conspiracy to bring Stan The Man down,
Conspiracy, huh? There you go again,
Man, you act like some fucking hero,
You spent your entire life doing a job that some trained monkey could do,
You're stuck in here, same as me,
So don't act like I'm the one to blame,
You know, they start managers out at Hardee's at $15 an hour,
- Screw Oscar's, Yeah, - That's the attitude, Screw them,
Did you file a police report on the mugging?
Nah, What's the point?
Damn thugs, Got nothing better to do than make life hell for the rest of us,
- You talked to your mom? - Yeah,
You know, she didn't even remember I was coming,
So you're actually gonna leave me in this shithole solo, huh?
- It's not a shithole, - Yeah, it is,
But it's our shithole,
Well, I guess this is:
Hasta la vista, baby,
Yeah, just don't forget about us regular joes
when you're down on the beach sipping piña coladas,
Jevon, you got a sec?
Fuck,
Okay, so,,,
I don't like to beat around the bush, so,,,
The drawer showed up short last night,
And the only two people who know the combination are you
and Stanley,
What does Stanley say?
I got off the phone with him this afternoon,
- Does he think I did it? - I did not say that,
I may not be employee of the month, but I never stole nothing from nobody,
I did everything by the book, like you said,
Like the woman who almost lost her tooth on the cheeseburger?
Shazz, it was an accident,
They're pre-made patties,
It takes actual effort to undercook them,
It was a mistake,
Look, I don't know who did what,
And you're not giving me much either, So I talked to Gary,,,
And you know the rest, I'm sure you understand,
Yeah, that I need this job,
I'm not gonna get the cops involved, okay?
Yeah, but what about Stanley though?
How you know it wasn't him?
I'm sorry,
Yeah, me too,
I'm sorry I ever gave two shits about this place,
You're home early,
Everything all right?
Jevon,
Guys,
Gary left this this morning,
He said it was a token of his appreciation,
Where's Jevon?
Where do you think he is?
I mean, if you didn't lift the money, someone did,
Doesn't take Columbo to figure that out, right?
Well, what'd he say when you asked him about it?
He denied it,
And then he begs me to let him keep his job,
The usual combo,
You know, it's a shame though, I really,,,
I'm really sorry that it didn't work out between you two,
Yeah, Yeah, me too,
Yeah, because I really wanted it to work out,
He doesn't seem like a bad kid,
Anyways, Fernando's going to fill in
until we find someone more suitable, unless,,,
you know, you've,,,
You've changed your mind,
- No, - No?
No, I think my time here's pretty much up,
Yeah,
There you go,
- Have fun in Sarasota, okay? - Thanks,
All right,
Thanks, Shazz,
Bye, buddy,
Adiós, Stanley,
All right, so I got some shitty news,
I got let go from Oscar's last night,
Seriously?
Apparently, there was some money missing from the safe or something,
and they pinned it on me,
Jevon,,,
Look, I know how it looks,
You know I have to report this, right?
You know, this isn't fun for me, I mean, this is,,, This is exhausting,
Oh, I am so sorry,
You're exhausted?
Well, get a load of this,
I just had to borrow a buck fifty from my mom for bus fare,
The air mattress I'm sleeping on at home is about as comfortable as a pool raft,
And my ex-girlfriend and my son just moved to Grand Rapids,
So you think you're drained?
Listen, Jevon, I wanna help you, okay?
I really do, But I,,,
I can't help you if you're not gonna help yourself,
I don't know, I,,,
Maybe serving out your sentence is just the best thing for you right now,
I don't know, I don't know,
God dang,,,
I told you that jalopy was a piece of shit,
Should have bought American,
I really didn't have too many options, Now, did I?
I made a promise to my mom,
Now I broke it,
Well, she probably won't remember though,
You know?
I swear, I can't catch a break for nothing,
Well, like I was saying, I wish you could stay with my sister,
but her old man's a genuine prick,
Guy's always trying to be king of the castle,
Do you ever think about Ricky Powell?
What made you think of him?
I don't know, Popped in my head a couple of days ago,
Well, I mean, yeah, sometimes, I mean,,,
You know, when they have the anniversary or whatever,
But, no, not really,
You think we should have said something?
No,
I don't see how that could have done a lick of good,
I mean, them boys were hell-bent on putting their hands on Ricky,
And everybody at the school knew it,
As far as I'm concerned, if he didn't flap his gums so much,
he'd still be alive,
All right,
Stan The Man back in the Mitten,
You gonna make it okay?
Well, I ain't got much choice, have I?
See you on Friday for darts?
Hey, Mountain Dew's on me,
You gonna get that?
Hey,
I couldn't find his diaper bag, It might be in your car somewhere,
I heard about Oscar's,
Yeah, Lousy gig anyway,
How's the job search going?
Oh, you know,
Slow and steady wins the race, right?
How's the world of self-care?
Could be better,
Could be worse,
I finally made it to bronze team leader, so I won't be working nights anymore,
Oh, congrats,
You planning on taking another trip with your mom to celebrate?
Actually, I'm going back to school,
I start at Michigan State in the spring,
That's,,, That's great,
- So, what are you gonna study? - Pre-law,
Just gonna start chipping away, you know,
Well, if you ever need a case study, you know where to find me,
On your mom's couch,
Hey,
Finally got a bed now, Things are looking up,
So, what about Carter, then?
Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about,
I'm gonna need you to have my back on this, okay?
Oh, yeah?
I need you to take him some nights, some weekends too,
Look, Syd, I've been giving it a lot of thought,
and I think we should try again,
- I'll do whatever it takes, Pride aside, - Jevon,,,
I think we're just on two different paths right now,
And I don't know if college or a 9-to-5 will ever be your thing,
You're just built to do something different,
There's indoor cats and outdoor cats, and you're an outdoor cat,
Syd,,,
You'll be all right,
You know that, right?
I need more clean bins, Stanley, And serving spoons too,
- Pronto, - Copy that, I'm on it,
Thanks for coming in, sir,
"'I see a butterfly,' said Ben,
'Here's an insect too,'
'Pretty,' said Astro, 'Butterfly,'"
Look at the butterfly,
Look,
"'Will we see a spider?' asked Astro,
'I'm afraid of spiders,'
'Don't worry, Astro,' said Ava, 'We will watch for them,'"
"'Pretty,' said Astro,"
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