Woo-hoo!
Hmm?
Woo-hoo!
The tale of Hansel and Gretel
is about a witch who lures children to her house
by decorating it with candy,
In this story, bears do that,
Wait, what?
Come on, brothers!
My vision is sugary, but not saccharine,
We've got to make this house sweet, sweet, sweet,
Yeah!
Huh?
Hmm? Yeah!
You're doing a fantastic job,
Sorry,
Maybe I'll wait inside,
Remember, decorate my house for the Annual Candy Cottage Contest,
and I'll give you all the potatoes you want,
Potatoes,
-Whatcha doing? -Ooh!
Uh, definitely not eating candy when we're supposed to be working,
We're decorating the Witch's house with candy in exchange for potatoes,
You know, normal fairy tale stuff,
Oh, Well, it was nice knowing ya,
La, la, la, la, la…
Wait, Why did you say, "Nice knowing ya"?
Oh, I said that because the Witch is probably gonna eat you,
and we're never gonna see each other again,
Bye now,
La, la, la, la, la…
Wait, the Witch isn't going to eat us,
-Silly bears, Can you keep a secret? -Mm-hmm,
The rumor is the Witch decorates her house with candy
so she can lure little children to it,
There's probably a few locked up in there right now,
No!
Yes, and when the children have eaten lots of candy and gotten very fat,
she eats them,
Little bears too,
But… we're little bears!
He's right, We are,
Nice knowing ya,
La, la, la, la, la…
Run!
Huh? Hey, stop,
What are we doing?
We were running for our lives, which I'd like to keep doing,
No, I mean, the Witch is our friend,
We can't just believe every rumor we hear about her,
We can if the rumor is she's going to eat us,
We've at least got to check this out for ourselves,
Come on! Back to the Witch's house, brothers,
Back to the Witch's house,
Look!
Children,
Look at them!
Innocently sleeping there
with no idea the Witch is going to eat them,
Here she comes, Don't let her see us,
I'm making candy
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
I'm making candy
Ooh, ooh, ooh
A little bit of this A little bit of that…
She's making more candy,
Just like Little Red said to fatten the children up,
So she can eat them,
Ow!
Huh?
I'm making my candy
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Aren't you cute and delicious?
Mmm!
Hmm?
Bears, no potatoes if you don't finish!
Bears! Where'd you go?
She's going to get us! Quick, hide!
Is it okay to come out now?
It's hard to understand you in that thing,
What?
I said it's hard to understand you in that thing,
What?
I said…
I said it's hard to understand you in that thing!
-Whoa, you don't have to yell, -Wait, what are we doing?
We were hiding to save our lives, which I'd like to keep doing,
No, I mean, we left those poor little children
locked up, just waiting to be eaten by the Witch,
Those poor children,
Guess there's only one thing to do,
Finally move to that tropical island made of potatoes and eat the island?
No, we've got to go back and save those children,
I don't know what everyone has against island potatoes, but okay, I'm in,
-For the children, -For the children!
Ugh! Bears, Now I've got to get more ingredients, make more candy,
and finish the decorating myself!
Now's our chance,
We'll rescue the children before she gets back,
It's locked,
We just need to climb up to the chimney,
Hmm?
Brothers, we need a new idea,
Time to get brainstorming,
Butt scratch circle!
Oh yeah, Oh, that's good,
I've got it,
All we have to do is find tools that happen to be lying around
and are also unexpectedly perfect for breaking into a witch's house!
But where are we supposed to find those?
Uh…
-Hmm, -Huh?
-Yeah! -Yay!
-Yippee! -Wahoo!
Uh--
Huh? Hmm,
-Yeah! -Yay!
Yoo-hoo!
Huh? Whoa!
Huh?
Hmm?
Ha!
We made it! Wahoo!
Hooray!
W… W… Wait, hey!
Hmm? Phew,
Hmm?
I don't see children anywhere,
The Witch must've hidden them,
We've got to find them and fast, brothers! Now! Go, go, go!
Find those children!
Children,
Children? Boo!
-Children? -Hey, children,
-Where are you? -Where are you?
-Children? -No one here,
Yoo-hoo!
No,
What are you doing?
-We could ask you the same question, -Yeah!
We know you're luring children to your house with candy
so you can eat them!
Eat what?
That's crazy even for you bears,
We saw you eat an innocent little child with our own beady eyes,
A child?
Hold on,
Do you mean Billy?
A gingerbread man?
Huh?
Well, then why did you want us to decorate your house with candy
if it wasn't to lure children?
I told you why,
For Fairytale Forest's Annual Candy Cottage Contest,
Ha! A contest, Right,
And I suppose the king himself comes door-to-door to judge,
Huh?
Next up for judging on the Annual Candy Cottage Contest,
the Witch's house,
Ooh!
This is beautiful,
The most original design I've seen in years,
-What? -Yay!
Yes!
-I award you first prize, madam, -Huh?
I mean, thank you?
Congratulations,
Huh? Go figure,
Thanks, bears!
So is now a good time to ask for our potatoes?
Oh!
Yay, potatoes!
-Bearsies, what happened? -Hmm?
I'll tell you what, That story you told about the Witch?
Totally not true,
-Course not, silly bearsies, -Huh?
Don't you know you can't believe anything you hear in fairy tales?
Bye now!
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la--
Oops,
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Now she tells us,
Potatoes!
Mmm!
The story of Jack and the Beanstalk
isn't the story we're telling today,
This story is about what happens when bears eat magic beans,
Spoiler alert, Fart jokes ahead,
I'm starving,
Fraid it's going to be a lean breakfast, brothers,
We're down to our very last potato,
Hey, where's our last potato?
I traded it,
-Huh? -For magic beans,
Whoa!
You traded our last potato for a bunch of useless beans?
Not useless, magic,
These beans will provide us
with all the beautiful music and golden eggs we want,
-Huh? -What we need are potatoes,
Which we can buy with all of our golden eggs,
What?
Brother, we were supposed to use those beans to grow a giant beanstalk
and get beautiful music and golden eggs,
Hmm?
Huh?
Brother, are you all right?
No, my tummy feels funny,
Like I have to…
Huh?
Ooh!
Brother, what just happened?
I don't know,
I just opened my mouth and out came…
Music,
From the magic beans,
-Yeah! -This is fun, Brother,
Music bear!
Huh?
Yoo-hoo!
Yeah!
-Yay! -Woo-hoo!
Hey, what about our golden eggs?
Aw, bears can't lay eggs,
Not with that attitude,
Come on, try,
Fine, I'll prove bears can't lay golden eggs,
Phew!
Yep, solid gold,
Brothers, our lives are about to change forever!
We're gonna get all the potatoes we want with all these golden eggs,
And don't forget the music,
-Woo-hoo! -Yeah!
Woo-hoo!
Here come three more,
Woo-hoo!
Yeah!
Yay!
Here comes another one,
Yay!
Halt!
Hmm?
Upside down,
Oh yeah, Oh yeah,
Your Majesty,
Are you okay?
Golden eggs?
-Woo-hoo! -Yeah!
Huh?
What talent!
I can't believe such beautiful music came out of your mouth,
Oh,
And those golden eggs, I can't believe they came out of your…
But the point is, I must have them,
You, them,
-Sorry, Your Kingliness, -Huh?
Brother is busy laying these golden eggs so we can buy all the potatoes we want,
Potatoes?
If that's what you want, why didn't you say so?
-Voilà, -Oh!
Enjoy,
-Wow! -Except you, my eggy maestro,
You and your special talents are coming with me,
You think I have talent?
Yes, like a star,
Tell you what,
you lay all the eggs I want, and I'll put on a command performance,
What's a command performance?
It's where I command and you perform,
and the perfect way to make my subjects love me,
Brothers, did you hear that? I'm going to be a star,
-Okay, -See you later,
-Have fun being a star, -Can't wait to hear how it goes,
Huh?
Bye,
-What's a star? -I don't know,
I was thinking I'd start the command performance
with something like this,
Stop! Stop!
No, no, no!
My subjects aren't going to like that music,
Everybody's got notes,
-We'll worry about the concert later, -Huh?
-For now, less music, more eggs, -Huh?
Meanwhile, this was happening,
-Over here, -I'll take another,
Woo-hoo! Potato party!
Yeah,
Life is good,
Ew,
What? I like to keep one handy,
I wonder how Brother is,
Never better,
Not you, Our brother, the star,
Huh?
Hey, look, it's a poster for a command performance at the castle
with our brother, the star!
You know what we gotta do?
Eat potatoes until our stomachs and butts blow up?
No, we've got to go see Brother's concert,
Eh, not as explosive, but I'm in,
Yay!
Let's go to the concert!
Ooh, my subjects are arriving,
Ready for your command performance?
I don't know, Your Majesty,
Making all this music is giving me a sore tummy,
And all this egg-laying is giving me a sore--
But I need more eggs,
I know, and I'm sorry,
but I don't think I want to be a star after all,
I miss my brothers, and I want to go home,
No, you don't,
I gave you a concert in exchange for golden eggs,
and a deal's a deal,
Brother, hey!
Brothers, thank goodness you're here,
Of course, We want to see you be a star!
I don't want to be a star anymore, but the king won't let me leave,
-Huh? -That's horrible!
Don't worry, Brother, We'll save you,
-Come on, brothers, -All right!
I've got just the thing to help us,
Watch this,
-Huh? -Ow!
Works every time,
We're here to rescue you!
And also, we kind of missed you,
-Aw! Thanks, brothers, -Mmm,
-Uh… -Get away from that bear,
I'll handle this,
-Huh? -Bye,
Get him,
Whoa!
Stand back, brothers,
I've got one more secret weapon,
Oh!
Whoa!
And now,
I'd like to present an incredible bear with two amazing talents,
Hmm?
-Yah! -What the--
My golden egg-laying bear!
Guards, stop them!
Is this part of the show?
Whoa!
-Yeah! -What a performance!
Bravo, bears, Bravo,
Yay!
Woo-hoo!
-Huh? -Whoa!
I'm a star!
Huh?
-Yay! -Yahoo!
You like it?
Watch this,
Wow!
Yeah!
Thank you,
Yeah!
Woo-hoo!
They love me, My subjects love me,
Thank you, Thank you,
I don't feel so good,
-Uh-oh, Time to go, -Uh-oh,
What's going on?
What's wrong with him?
Huh?
Whoa!
-Yeah, -Hey!
The king has all the golden eggs he could ever want,
Come on, brothers, let's go home,
My butt needs a rest,
Who needs golden eggs when you've got potatoes?
Mmm!
I can't stop,