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You don't play by the rules, Mr, Trotsky, Your three days to resolve the issue are up,
Where is the wand?
Look, there's been some unforeseen circumstances that,,,
Those damn Makhnovists raided our train!
As a result, we lost contact with the person who performed the task,
I don't really care what's going on there,
There is no wand, so I'm withdrawing the shipment of weapons,
What are we looking for?
- Wand, - In a coffin,
I want them to die slowly and beautifully,
So you do not have exact information about where the wand is now?
There are various rumors,
I said catch,
Catch up, I said,
If you cannot solve this problem, I will do it myself,
The deal is invalid,
Yes, but,,,
Come on, come on!
Bender, there's no wand here,
Coffin master Bezenchuk,
Brass,
Who is that?
Mechanic of the Second Red Aeronautical Army Stepan Gatsushno,
I have an important message from Comrade Trotsky,
You are wanted by police services around the world,
You are the most dangerous criminal in the Old World,
So you are exactly the person I need,
In words, it was ordered to convey that the fate of the revolution directly depends on
how quickly you find the wand,
I know everything about myself!
What do you need?
I have an offer for 100,000,
Accept it - and the whole amount is yours,
Now we're talking business, I'm listening,
In conditions of increased secrecy on enemy territory
Please use wireless only,
When you find the wand, just release it, And I will evacuate you,
How?
How? By air,
BUT?
Let me help you ma'am,
Mademoiselle,
Berkovich Samuil Solomonovich, born in 1879, March 4th,
A native of the Mogilev province, Bykhov district, the village of Moslachi,
Social origin - tradesman,
Higher education,
Party membership - non-partisan,
Until 1918, he was a member of the Socialist Revolutionary Party,
Since 1918 he has been the curator of the museum,
Do I understand correctly that it was you who carried out the task of Comrade Trotsky?
Transporting secret cargo?
Yes,
I am so glad for you, comrade, so glad!
Where? This patient is still early for discharge,
Yes, he hasn't eaten porridge yet,
Doctor, don't worry, We will fix it ourselves,
Kremlin hospital,
No, no, no, a disabled person is needed alive,
It can't be in it,
It's a pity to kill you,
I'll admit, I'm s-intrigued,
And you won't have to, I kill you,
Maybe we can make some sort of deal?
Why should I trust you?
C-because I trust you with my life,
And s-seems to me we're s-looking for the same thing,
Wand where?
Well,,, Mine?
Where is the wand?
I was on the train,
I've been hurt,
The staff hid in the coffin and told him about it,
To whom?
Here he is hanging,
Turned out to be a bandit,
This?
Yes,
Bender,
Do you know each other?
1903 year, Cherkasy, Cleaned our house,
And I was in Kharkov in 1905,,, The first bank robbery,
- He still hasn't given me my t-t-t,,, - How much were you promised for the wand?
Ideological, right?
And I have 100 pieces,
A lot, right?
Few,
You've been swindled, it's worth two million,
I propose to throw everything to hell, pick up the rod!
And we will go to some country calmer,
For example, to Vienna,
Already better, Kotovsky,
Only Vienna is not a country, And first I will find and kill him,
Goddess,
The whites are coming, Buy newspapers,
The bombers wanted to blow up the noble assembly,
Thanks, I remember,
After dancing on coffins, every dog ​​is ready to tear us to pieces in this city,
How would you like to work in this nervous situation?
I won't leave without a rod, My mother told me that I was of noble blood,
On my mother's side,
Ouch!
Perhaps even a descendant of Count Rumyantsev,
Therefore, this is not just a rod, but my family heirloom,
It's our family heirloom, son,
The main thing is to remove their eyes,
I'm not talking about that, Bender,
From now on, call me Count,
Ouch!
Not small, not Murzik, but a count,
Okay, scribble,
Just a Count,
Why else is this?
My first poster,
And you are conceited, Countess,
Bender, the most important thing is that we now know where the wand is,
In the third coffin at Sagalovich,
Unless you have time to sell it to someone,
Well, it's easy to check,
How?
Patience, dad,
In any case, it's time for us to change our outfit, son,
Old Man!
Bat!
What are you, dad?
Sorry, mon ami, no luck,
Well, what kind of day is today?
Why is he better than me?
Well, what did you bring, Shus?
So what? Requisitioned the train,
Red - in consumption, a trophy - here,
What's out there?
There?
Specially for you, Coffin,
Black, lacquered,
You're kidding?
Here's the devil!
Father, oh father!
So the king interfered with them,
Dropped it, okay,
And Lenin is not a tsar?
And Lenin is the king,
And they throw him off,
And who is his?
They will throw theirs away,
Jews, And they will have one more Georgian there,
Main,
Dad, now you see both the past and the future, and what will happen ahead?
It will be bad, Shus,
Look, I'm alone, I'm with no one,
I am against everyone,
So is Russia, One will,
Against everyone,
How many coffins were there, Shus?
Like three,
So why did you only take one?
Dad, so in our coffins only you sleep,
The rest have not matured yet,
So if there is such beauty in one coffin, then what is in the rest?
Whose coffins?
So, it is known, Sagalovich,
Luxury goods in the city only with him,
So why are we still not at Sagalovich's, Shus?
BUT?
Old Man!
Boys!
Well, daughter?
Prepare the groom for the funeral,
Okay, dad,
Sonya!
With pleasure,
Hello honey,
The bullet traveled in a frontal arc over the bone and exited the other side,
Your friend is lucky,
Like all of us, Listen, what is he doing there?
And what do you want? Bullet to the head, I would look at you,
And what to do?
Diet, gymnastics, darling, And dodge bullets,
It applies to you too,
- What products will be gone? - With such a son-in-law, we will not be lost,
- Let's have a drink, shall we? - Not clinking,
For a happy recovery,
And why are we dressed up in black when Misha is so alive?
Only something our bride is not very happy,
Sonya!
Seems to me they're getting ready for the wake,
No, for the wedding,
Sonya is getting married,
I'm sorry, but who do you marry?
For the deceased Mishka,
Good joke, What are you not laughing at?
The coffin we've already checked,
Here in this great book, Madame Undertaker balances debits with credits,
The book shows the path to the wand,
Entertaining literature should be kept in a safe,
And here is the golden key,
Right in the tit, Spicy!
Where did she go?
Where there are no eyes,
My God, pinch me, Osya!
- Yes, it hurts, - Sorry, So he died,
You do not know the Vinnitsa breed,
It is not enough to kill them, they need to drive a wasp peg,
Shalom,
This changes things somewhat,
Then we'll make it beautiful, I'll divert attention for now,
And you will find your wonderful Juliet, Comrade Romeo, and ask,
to take the key from her mother,
- Easy, “I believe we already have the wand in our pocket,
Tomorrow evening we will drink wine on the banks of the Bosphorus,
In close wonderful company! You, me, your mother,
Juicy peach, though not the first freshness,
We are taking root,
Happy holiday, happy holiday,
Daughter, go down to the groom, Sonya,
Sonya!
Sonechka, we agreed on everything a long time ago,
You agreed,
And now it's kind of, well, uncomfortable,
Docha!
Sleepy!
I never agreed,
He disgusts me,
I'd rather lay hands on myself,
Well, Sonya, don't talk nonsense, eh!
Daughter, it will be better,
I'm not sure I love her,
- Whom? Mom? - Why is mom here?
This Juliet, Sonya,
I don't want to give her false hopes,
It is necessary for business,
- Okay, we'll do everything, but in a different way, - Wait,
Do you remember what Taras Bulba did to his son when he finally became insolent?
- What? - Lost interest,
You don't read Gogol well, Bender,
I am Ostap, not Andrei,
You are a dumbass,
Not Andrew,
Listen to dad - and you will be alive,
Misha!
It's embarrassing to say, cut me, kill me, but Sofa doesn't want to do it for you,
What does "doesn't want" mean?
Well, what do you want? You were dead,
And here is such happiness!
I won't leave here without her,
Of course,
Swallow, go to your daughter, talk to her delicately,
Good,
Misha, mother always, always finds the right words,
Let's drink, gentlemen,
Play, drink,
What are we standing?
- Well, talk to her, otherwise I have,,, - And then what?
And then a migraine,
So go,
And Lastonka?
Well, Lastonka,
Oh, it flew!
Fate smiles upon us,
We need to have time to smile back at her, otherwise we will cry,
We are resting, We are resting,
Now it will be your exit, Count,
Get together, we need a golden key,
Scary, dad,
Life is generally scary, Shus,
My father worked as a shepherd all his life, but he died of drunkenness,
Like grandfather, and great-grandfather, and the whole Makhno family,
There is no beauty in life,
A person does not know how to live beautifully,
But in his power to die beautifully,
Now, if my father, for example, died swallowing a sword,
and grandfather would have been killed by a tiger, that would be beautiful,
BUT?
Handsomely,
Yes, Nothing, we will correct their mistakes,
Old Man!
Dad, stop,
You can't go there,
You can't go to Sagalovich, He is Yaponchik's father-in-law, today is a wedding,
They have 100 people there,
Each has two stems,
Wedding?
So it's beautiful, huh!
Aida, lads!
Great, she's sleeping! Get undressed,
- Why? - Then,
Forward!
What are you thinking? Think about your future,
- About what? - About your mother,
She is also a mother,
But not yours, maybe,
I agree,
Don't forget to clap,
Docha!
- Daughter, daughter! - Dad!
Dad, I don't love him, I won't marry him,
I will not be his wife,
Well, what else do you need, well?
Well, not handsome,
Well, he’s like that, you know, yes, an abomination, a bastard!
But an eagle,
Do not Cry, Do not Cry,
It's me,
Osya!
Are you stealing again?
I'll explain everything, don't worry,
I don't steal,
In front of him, half of Solnechnomorsk trembles,
I have come to you, madam,
I came to you,
To me?
I love you,
I give you a tooth,
I love you,
I do not like him,
- And how long? - Is always,
What are you about love, daughter?
Life is short, And she has only one ending,
I tell you this for sure, because I have bread from this,
And I always thought you liked Sonya,
Which Sonya? I only came here because of you,
Yes, I am your mother,
Have pity on your mother though,
Mother?
What's with her?
I wanted to explain everything to you, but society will condemn us,
Come on, get out of here,
What with her? Migraine,
No, go away,
Ax, what's in your mouth, huh?
Ostap!
Mother!
- Sonya, I'm,,, - I'll explain everything to you now,
- It's for the revolution, - Well, of course, for the revolution,
Scoundrel!
Mother!
- Sonya! - Get out of here,
Sonya, baby!
I'll take care of everything,
- Sonya! - Let's get the key,
Yes, what is the key? I need to explain everything to Sonya,
I beg you, there are more important things to do,
Osya!
- Baistruk, - What does it mean?
- He has a dad, - Yes,
I drank too much,
It can happen to anyone,
Osya!
Key,
Osya, don't be a hooligan, give me the key,
Don't wait,
Misha!
Let's get married,
Come on, rabbi!
Read me a prayer,
Yes, yes, yes, yes,
Where?
Rabbi, read the prayer,
For the health of the bride's parents,
Oh, I'll go!
I beg you, read the prayer,
Now,
Yes, yes, yes, yes,
- Groom, put the ring on the bride's finger, - Misha, put on the ring,
Let's,
Yes OK,
But what about prayer?
Now everything will be, yes, Now I will, now I will find it,
- Put the ring on Sonya's finger, - Yes Yes Yes,
This youth cannot live without prayer,
- Everything will be now, - Will there be a prayer?
Pass it on, it's all over now, You don't transmit, transmit,
I have already put on the ring, I ask you to read the prayer, and that's it,
- I'm looking for the right page, - He's looking for a page,
- Search faster, - I'm looking faster,
Read the prayer, because if you don't read the prayer,,,
I'm looking, looking, scrolling, I had a bookmark,
Let it search faster without a bookmark,
- Now, - Search faster,
I'm looking faster, I can't, my hand is already withered, It's not all right, no,
Now I have another place to dry up, Please,
Everything, everything, attention!
"Three coffins ordered from Master Bezenchuk,
One - Mendel Vinnitsa - did not pay,
The second is in the window,
The third - Nestor Makhno - did not pay,"
So beautiful, my God! Now yes, So,
What is he carrying?
What are you carrying, huh?
What am I carrying? I carry a prayer,
He brings prayer,
I'm already evil,
I want to read the prayer already,
I strongly advise you not to read the prayer,
I understand, I have read already,
I didn't understand what you read there,
No need to freak out, I read what I need, This is how it is written here,
Read the prayer, I beg you,
What youth! Can't kiss without praying,
- I am sorry, - Oh, this youth!
Can I cut this rabbi already? I'm telling you, read me a prayer,
Mazal tov,
Come on, Misha,
Well, let's go,
Well, are you satisfied?
I am embarrassed, rabbi, that you did everything somehow quickly, quickly,
Youth wedding,
Fast and beautiful,
- What hours do you have! - Yes, Mendel gave it,
Removed from the dead,
Now a family heirloom,
My congratulations, Music,
Congratulations,
Mazal tov,
Sofa!
Soph!
- Sonya! - I won't,
- Did you know where? - Of course I did,
And they wanted to leave without dad, Ai-yay-yay, Osya!
Don't judge people by yourself, Bender,
And where?
50 percent,
- 30, - Actually, I saved your life,
Stop it, 30,
Sofa!
Go away, Misha,
Sofochka!
40,
- Okay, 30 and Sagalovich's watch, - Few,
Sofa!
34,
With a half,
Okay, 34,5,
Where?
Everything will be fine,
Here I am, Sofochka,
It's here, So, I'm sorry,
Well, kiss me, Sofochka,
Quiet, quiet, don't move, - Let go,
- Well, do not fidget, I say, be quiet,
- Where, Osya? - Where?
In the third coffin with the father,
- Which dad? - At Makhno,
Quiet,
We have guests,
Benya, why are you so drunk, son?
Benya!
We have guests, call Misha,
Misha! Misha!
Misha!
Everything,
Quiet, Everything, everything, everything, Quiet, I say,
- We have guests, - Who?
Who, who? Nestor in a coat,
Quiet, don't cry,
I'll be back soon,
Light as a wake,
Hello, dad,
Hello Misha,
And we're getting married here,
Heard,
Here to congratulate came, to have fun,
Talk to smart people,
Give it up,
And have fun,
Hand over the harness, lads,
Nestor Petrovich, an honored guest - a place of honor,
- Two words, - Yes, and I,,,
Misha!
Well, well, come on,
Damn, can't see!
Axis, let's go to the stalls,
- Yes? - Behind me,
Sagalovich, three days ago you received a shipment of three coffins,
Nestor Petrovich, if possible, a little quieter, well!
The wife is sleeping, if she wakes up, there will be such chaos!
Sit down,
OK,
You got three coffins, right?
A small clarification - two coffins,
That's right, I took one,
I know so what? Do you want to pay?
Now we are going to see a heartbreaking film,
- Look, it's him, - Who?
Wand,
Would like to know what they are talking about,
"What, you can't read lips?" - Not,
Then learn, little one,
"What a beauty!" Sagalovich says,
"That's the beauty I found in my coffin,"
And he thought: "If I found this in my coffin, then what is in other coffins?"
Do you know what I thought?
No, But you still say,
It's a scepter,
Of course,
So, there is also a state, And there is a hat, like a king,
Well this is beauty!
Where are the coffins, Sagalovich?
Well, what can I tell you about the coffins?
In one lies the murdered Mendel of Vinnitsa, If you want to assure me
it's beauty, it's not,
Mendel is dead,
See how little time we have on this earth?
- Yes, So don't lose mine,
Where are the coffins?
Well, all of you: "Where are the coffins, where are the coffins?"
Here, one is in the window, please joke,
Check,
The mattress starts to check,
There isn't,
- Empty, - Empty,
What problems?
Misha, be a little quieter, And how glad I am that you have come, Misha!
So on time!
What's a brazilian?
Dear Nestor Petrovich found this jewel in the same coffin,
which he requisitioned from us at the station,
So this is mine,
What is this from?
Yak from what?
The coffin belonged to Sagalovich,
After the death of Sagalovich, the entire inheritance will go to his daughter, and I will be her husband,
With all due respect, of course, Misha,,,
I'm very sorry, but I'm still categorically alive,
We all walk under God,
Thanks for the gift, dad,
The bride will be very happy,
I'm afraid to disappoint you,
And don't be afraid, It's hard to disappoint me,
I said I'm afraid to disappoint you, And even more so to kill, Michael,
Such an idea,
For the murder, it was boldly said by a fraer, whose weapons were taken away,
Boys, look what Father Makhno gave me for my wedding,
Misha!
Michael, that's not how things are done,
Are you going to shoot me with your finger?
Gentlemen, gentlemen, what are you, animals?
You are noble robbers,
Still a wedding,
Nestor Ivanovich, wedding,
Calm down, lads,
What do you? Calmly,
We will die today,
And it's wonderful!
Let's make some noise,
Music,
Well, that's completely uninteresting,
You don't know life very well, Osya,
I have not yet met a man who would give away a symbol of power,
I know for myself,
It's time to talk to your Juliet before she becomes Desdemona,
Not understood,
Misha has the rod, Misha gives it to Sonya, And while Sonya thanks Misha, you take the wand,
Forward!
And you?
I will cover you in the rear,
This is the most dangerous place,
Osya!
Osya, drop it,
Swallow, don't come out,
And be careful on the turns, otherwise I doubt
that such respected people will enjoy shaking,
Look, Mademoiselle is left alone,
Now it will burn,
Yes, well, well, do not rush to refuse,
Is it not enough? Maybe it's fate,
You have a funeral home, and I have the craft to provide clients for it,
So listen to your friend Benya,
He is, after all, the most powerful man in the city,
Bender!
Osha, damn it! Alive,
Forgive me Lord!
The staff was right in my hands, I held it, you understand?
- Forget, - How to "forget"?
We now know where he is, He is with Makhno, And we need to go to him,
- It's time to part with the dream, - How?
Did you see what they did to the Sagalovichs?
- So,,, - The dead don't need gold,
Here's some money for you to get to your mom,
Goodbye,
I can not believe it,
Did you get scared?
And you are too fond of risk, Osya,
You inherited this from me,
I'm used to risking my own life, but if you die because of me,
it will be too heavy a burden,
I will not be able to go through life easily and carefree, as I used to,
Are you leaving me again?
It's better for both of us, son, Believe me,
And here's the last paternal advice for you: Don't trust anyone,
Everyone in this life wants something from you to fuck,
This is how the world works,
That's the way you are, Bender,
And I want to settle down in a world where people can be trusted, OK,
These people will rob you or kill you if you don't take off your rose-colored glasses,
Yes, and if you meet your mother, tell her that I loved her,
Forget it, okay?
That's something I'll definitely never do, because I have at least a little respect for her,
And I don't need no father,
Adyos,
Excuse me, but can you tell me by chance, where is this street?
It's over there, Walk 100 meters and turn left,
Princess Sumarokova!
Yes?
Countess of Transdanubia, I was told you can help,
I'm looking for a job, And I have no money, no friends where to stay,
But I'm ready for anything: I can wash, and sew, and iron,
Wonderful!
Out of the way, come on,
A glass of vodka,
Excuse me, do you have time, can you get to the station?
Is there money?
There is,
Are you giving me counterfeit money?
Can't you see? They are smeared, they can not even wipe themselves,
Maybe mom left the gold?
Pebbles?
Listen, can we make a deal then? I can row,
- Can you row? - Yes, yes, I can,
So get out of here,
Show your hands,
Show me, show me
Well, what kind of seamstress are you?
And now - the chest,
What?
Well, you want me to help you,
Sailors come here from all over the world,
Many prefer older,
I'd rather die than be your girl,
Well, if it doesn't work out, then come back,
Didn't agree?
In such cases, I shoot immediately to facilitate negotiations,
Can help,
Yes? And How?
Tell me, where is your partner?
And we will help you sail to the station, to your mother, son,
Unfortunately, I'm not your assistant here, we parted with him like ships at sea, but,,,
Unfortunately, I have to insist,
Look, I told you, I have no idea where he is,
Then why do we need you?
I count to three,
Once,
Don't go on impulse, really,
Two,
If you want, I can lie, Do you want me to,,,
Easy, buddy, easy,
I told you, it won't last,
Do we know each other?
1905, robbery of the first credit bank,
Yoperny theater, Kotovsky, great!
Where is my share?
You robbed a bank, I robbed you, all to be honest,
And the lady is with you,,,
And this, dear, is 1903,
While I was waiting for you and your parents at the altar, you ransacked our house,
My God, Olenka!
If only I knew that the ugly duckling would turn into such a swan!
One more word,,, One more word and I'll shoot you,
My friends, we have something to remember in our old age,
Less emotions, less,
- I believe that you need this,,, - Wand,
Of course, the wand, With these diamonds!
Friends, we have brains that you do not have,
But your powerful strength support will definitely compensate for this,
- Correctly? We'll discuss along the way,
It won't end well, I warned you,
Bender, have you been following me for a long time?
No, you almost immediately got into trouble,
Can you drive silently?
Honey, remove the barrel, it prevents me from concentrating,
Friends, how will we share the rod?
First you need to get a mouse, and only then,,,
I have a suggestion - we let you live,
- Yes, - It'll be fair,
Stop, please, and kill us right here,
This is me with pleasure,
No, no, Bender is joking,
And yet, about the wand,,,
I think so, If a,,,
Considering the risk, my mental and physical costs, and the potential for injury,,,
We can be captured or even killed, have you thought about that?
That two-quarters will suit us,
Listen, I'm going to really s-shoot you right now,
Hold the wheel, Kotovsky,
And press the gas pedal,
Our transport and gasoline, your 30 percent,
What's the matter?
What?
Gasoline is over,
- Kotovsky! - Do you agree in half?
in half,
If my son could see me now, I wonder what he would think?
That his mother doesn't want to starve to death,
Most importantly, he asked to be told who his real father was,
I couldn't even do that,
So write to him, it's easier to trust the paper,
She endures everything,
Begin?
Water,
Give it back,
Give,
Bender, if we die here, I will find you in the next world and kill you again,
And why am I here?
If we die, it's thanks to your partner saving on gas,
Better kill him,
And he's not my partner,
Or rather, my partner, but not what you think,
So you are still free,
This was where it had to start,
I don't want to interrupt you, but I think we're here,
M-mill,
Not a mill, but a windmill, you are our erudite,
Calm down, calm down, Take it easy,
Bender!
And there is our rod,
Where?
Yes, right at the top,
Our rod,
Half yours, half ours,
And this is our wand with you, be it thrice cursed!
Dad, look, they took the whites,
They have fun here,
"Moulin rouge",
Well, what are you yelling?
I'm sorry, how many times have I told you?
Freedom is the highest value of human life,
Which no one has the right to take away,
Liberte, Egalite, Fraternite,
- Spoke? - Well, he did,
Untie them,
So what is it, we can go, or something, can we?
Yes, guys, go ahead,
And I have to admit, I read so many rumors about your wand in the newspapers!
Believing the newspapers is the last thing,
Well, goodbye, God bless, see you!
Wait a second,
And the only way out of our camp is through this field,
Dad, what are you? It's a minefield,
What did you think?
Freedom is a value that must be wrested from fate,
Show that you deserve it,
Or at least die beautifully, Go ahead!
Forward!
Dad, dad, please don't,
Well, then die now,
Go ahead, live!
Come on, come on,
Well, do you have any ideas?
Yes, go down and kill the whole herd,
Open your eyes, there are too many of them,
It is necessary to act not with force, but with the head,
Cunning,
Who is responsible for our cunning?
Let's go,
And we will cover you here, from above,
Madam, they will kill us,
I'm already upset, you wanted half,
It's time to work out,
And how will you work out your half?
And we said we'll cover it,
What was it now, man?
I love pigeons, why?
Go, go,
Don't be afraid, they won't leave,
And suddenly it won't, No one has ever left Makhno alive,
They will divert attention, and we will take the rod,
Understood?
- K-k-k,,, - Queen, queen,
Liberte, Egalite, Fraternite,
Freedom, Equality, Brotherhood,
Commander! And what's the plan?
You are now independent,
You can do without me,
Come on, stand up, hands up!
We are up to dad,
Where?
We are to the father, to the father,
To dad,
Better shut up, pretend to be an idiot,
- How "idiot"? - That's how it is now,
Bender, I'm just suggesting that we avoid mutual insults for the future, okay?
So, let's go to the father?
Let's go, let's go, If we have it,
- Who? - Future,
Bloody wedding at Sagalovich's,
The dead, according to counterintelligence Makhno, resurrected and danced the dance of death,
In the center of Solnechnomorsk,
Where is the commandant of the Amethysts looking?
Gather people, we are going to Makhno,
Yes, and send someone to these journalists, let them leave a strip in tomorrow's newspaper,
What for?
Under the news of his death,
Good, I'm sorry, day,
Who are you good people?
Father, I know him,
Nephew of Bakunin,
He was on the train where your coffin was,
Quite right,
Surprised, dad,
Let's go, and here in the middle of the forest is such an Eiffel Tower!
What holiday? What are you preparing for?
The earth is a country of tears, the sky is a country of fun,
We live in anticipation of a great day,
The day when we open our hands to meet the heavenly fire and go into eternal fun,
In short, we all want to die beautifully,
Why are you good then?
You can't take him to the grave with you,
Well, really,
Bat, really, but why do we need something good?
The leader will show the way,
And the heavenly wanderers will go light,
Yes, That is, when everything starts, we will all leave empty-handed,
Yeah, but when is this going to start?
Soon,
Soon it will start,
Why complain, good people?
We are from the city of Paris,
French anarchist,
World anarchy needs your support, dad,
Well, for anarchy, I'm ready to do anything,
How can we help you?
The thing on the tower you have will suit us,
Wand, right?
Yes, wand,
- Wand, - So take it,
What is so simple?
No, you have to earn the rod,
How, father?
But let your comrade-in-arms walk through the minefield,
What for?
Well, if you don't die beautifully, then maybe you'll live beautifully,
Mom dear!
I will tell your French mother that your last words were about her,
What will happen to us now?
According to their law, hands are cut off for theft,
Well, on the one hand, this is a plus,
Handless are served well,
On the other hand, it's time to write a letter to your son,
It's time to say goodbye,
Farewell,
Is it that simple?
What can I do?
Well then, goodbye to you too,
Oh, just scared!
- Do you think I haven't seen the mines? - I haven't seen those,
Stop, comrade,
These are surprises,
He stepped on - nothing, but only raised his leg - ahh!
Look, I'm offering a little gesheft,
Your old boots on his almost new boots,
No, why not?
Agree,
If I step on a mine, they lose all their charms,
The latest Parisian fashion, Take it,
Yes, Parisian, Red sole,
Come on!
- Okay, I'll change my mind, - Well, stand, come here!
Tell me, dad, what is this obsessive thought - to die beautifully?
I have not seen a beautiful life and I am looking for a beautiful death,
I don't think it's too exotic,
You could fall in love with some Papuan,
Accept Buddhism, go to Paris,
When were you last there?
Never,
In vain,
Go to Paris and die,
Handsomely!
You see, my friend, I am convinced that no Paris exists,
This is a fabrication, The earth is flat, the world ends in Khatsapetovka,
And then - a cliff to nowhere,
Tell me, have you been to this cliff? Or did someone tell you?
Have you been there?
Not yet,
And I haven't been to Rio de Janeiro,
But I will definitely visit, it's beautiful there,
There is no beauty in this world, mon ami,
Bravo! Calm down, don't panic,
And Rio de Janeiro is the same fiction as your Paris,
God, sorcerers and electricity,
This one,
This one and this one,
Princess, wait,
I beg you, get me out of here,
And why should I do it?
I will do whatever you want,
Well, other than what you want,
Look at him,
Bravo, I'm proud of you!
Companion!
He surprised me - your colleague,
Well, thanks for the wand,
World anarchy will not forget you, dad,
You will still come to me,
You see, honey, when you're doing your body
You understand: The more body - the higher earnings,
But whores without hands also have clients,
Rare, but there are,
We'll see you,
Wait,
After all, we were born under a lucky star,
Small!
Dad, well, look!
Am I finally organizing my dream?
I'll buy myself white pants and a white yacht,
- And on my white airplane,,, - in Rio de Janeiro,
But first, to my mother,
To Mom?
To Mom,
First, to my mother,
Hey, do you believe in fate?
Fate is an excuse for fools, dad,
- We would have a rod, - Yes,
Who said it? Nietzsche?
Aunt Faya from the Lower Mills,
Tell us to get the wand,
I have always envied people's ability to draw wisdom from everything,
Explain to me, Bakunin's nephew, how did this red one end up with you?
Here,,,
Get into my confidence, dad,
It's your fucking vanity,,,
Why are you carrying a flyer with you?
My gullibility will destroy me,
A dove from Kotovsky has just arrived,
"Aunt Tsilya is very bad, but we are watching her,
Prepare for the worst, tomorrow she will go to heaven,"
He found the wand,
Notify people on site to prepare an air evacuation,
Do you want me to have this Bender for you - uh-h-h?
I mean, I can't do it myself, right?
No, what are you?
It was a shame to learn that you do not consider me a partner,
- What? - Have you fallen in love, Kotovsky?
Well, no,
What do you?
And if you fell in love, then what?
And that love does not exist,
It's all nonsense, and I already know it for sure,
And I don't think so,
I think they are about to be killed,
Yes, and w-good,
It's easier without competition,
Tell me, nephew, did your uncle Bakunin himself
would not shoot every red-faced,
who would stand in the way of an anarchist revolution?
Are you an enemy of anarchy?
Never, dad,
So give the red-bellied death,
Otherwise, I will kill you both,
Kill him and I will give you the rod,
What?
Seriously?
Father's word,
I can't be killed,
Why?
How is that "why"?
Because I am an artist, and even a very good one,
And, rather, even great,
And if you kill me here now, no one will know about it,
Do you understand what you will lose?
Finish it,
No, okay, just one minute, you can give me one little chance,
I'm great at reading comic monologues, I have a lot of good anecdotes,
And what do you want right here on the spot,
take and shoot a piece of joy in this world?
Yes, let him tell jokes, there is time,
Are you in a hurry to get anywhere?
OK,
Tell us a funny anecdote, If anyone smiles
let's let you go,
In November 1917, a drunken sailor ran to Lenin at Smolny and said:
"Vladimir Ilyich, the revolution is cancelled," Lenin says: “How can this be cancelled?
What are you saying?"
He says: "Unfortunately, Trotsky left for fishing,"
And Lenin says: "We can manage without Trotsky, Go,"
He says: “Yes, Vladimir Ilyich, of course,
Without Trotsky, we can do it, but without the Aurora, we can’t,”
- Without "Aurora" in any way, because he's on a fishing trip, - Trotsky on the "Aurora" for smelt,
Bender, Bender, you won't do this, will you?
Do I have a choice?
Of course,
Let's reason like this, If we both die, it will be worse,
Are you serious?
Forgive me, student, and farewell,
Well, are you satisfied?
Now can I get that damn wand?
Wait a minute,
It hurts, it hurts,
Alive, bitch!
Let go,
Guys, they take us for idiots,
He shot him in the earlobe,
The show is over,
Bravo!
And we'll die beautifully, right?
But you,,, Be silent, But you, Makhno, will die very banally,
Very ugly,
Because right now, two of the coast's best hitmen are aiming at you,
Horse, don't,
Horse, listen,
Right in your head,
- In my head? - Yes,
Why are you laughing? Right into your mouth,
In the head?
Why do you think that you are worse than them?
Baby!
And your cretins will scatter all over the district!
It's not pretty,
Shoot already,
We are all a bit of a horse,
Ka-each of us is a horse in his own way,
To dad,
Before dad?
To the father, to the father, go to the father,
Couldn't have d-trusted you,
Bender, why the hell did you rat us out?
You were in no hurry to save us, the situation, excuse me, was critical,
What are you talking about? I hear nothing,
And what did you win?
Time, I needed time to figure out how to get out,
P-have you figured it out?
He didn't come up with anything,
Until I figured it out,
- What's happening? I do not understand anything, - Haven't come up with anything yet,
I ask you to, Madame, tell me, was this one really in Paris?
- Who, Bender? - Well,
Never,
And here I was,
Truth?
So how is it in Paris?
Good,
I can share,
All right, ma'am, get in line,
- What didn't work? - And now bald,
I said bald,
- Fire support, fire support,,, - Bender, c-think of something,
Make up your own mind if you're that smart,
Move your convolutions, if you have them, Though I doubt it, of course,
Let's just shut up and die with dignity,
- Oh, I don't want to! - This is true,
Gentlemen are good, it's time to die beautifully,
- To the wall, young people, - Which wall?
- There is no wall here, Makhno, - Go ahead, no talking!
In this situation, you need to pray,
Your God, curly, is as much a fabrication as unicorns, clairvoyants, and gasoline,
You have a minute, gentlemen,
Better 2, 3, 5, Better 20 - and we'll disperse,
Does anyone know the prayer?
Lord, Lord, I don't need any wand, just help me get out of here,
And help me, Lord, I just loved,
Lord, Lord, of course, it is unlikely to help, especially if you are not there,
It's all pointless, And if you are, if you see everything,
then you will not have mercy on me, because you know me,
I'm not asking for myself, I'm asking for him,
Because he is still young,
He is a naive mug who has not sinned a little,
He doesn't sin at all,
This is the first time I've met such a person,
Thanks, Ibrahim, - Oh, wait,
Take me, leave him,
In general, take us all here, to hell with pigs!
Take even this anarchist nit, but don't touch Ostap, hey!
Why everyone?
Let it cost you,
I'm talking to God,
Stop talking,
Aim,
Charge up,
Yes, do something,
Take positions,
We're leaving,
I think it's a big day,
Let's open our hands towards the heavenly fire,
Well, let's, let's die beautifully,
Brothers, raise your hands,
Hands up, hands up,
Oh well,
Aim,
Osya!
Here's the devil!
Damn, damn!
Come on, come on, hurry up,
Pli!
Fuck off, cockroaches,
Nestor, are we in Paris?
Yes,
Yes Yes Yes,
To Paris, to Paris
Osya!
Lord, how to live with this now?
- Get upstairs, - Why?
Do you know, Madame Tarasevich, what prevents our relations from flourishing?
And what is it, Kotovsky?
your distrust,
What should I believe?
Here it is,
Air evacuation,
Upstairs, please,
God!
Pick up,
Osya!
I asked - me, not him,
Completely deaf, right?
Take the bananas out of your ears,
People are asking you,
Alive, alive,
Everything, forgot about bananas, I was wrong,
Forgot, I'm sorry,
- Wand, - Alive,
Wand where?
Yes, and well, with him, with this rod,
If God wills, he will definitely return to us,
The main thing is that we are alive, son,
Look, these are in the basket, They threw us,
Fly away, Bender,
So who are we kidding?
If we had the rod, we would have done the same,
And what is wrong?
Get down,
Broke the ball,
Losing height,
We need to drop the ballast,
Well then, drop it,
They hooked,,,
Get undressed,
No,
- What did you do? You doo-doo,,, - Fool,
But I found my treasure,
Where is the father?
Why should I know? Are you mentally damaged?
What father?
Bender,
Bender, I should have guessed,
Not that I'm sorry, but I'm afraid you've lost your father,
But in this case, I hasten to please you - soon you will meet him,
Where?
In heaven
We will shoot you,
Don't thank,
There is something on your ship that belongs to me,
The golden wand, which I already dream of, with such diamonds!
Robbery of a ship is a daring act,
My daughter is Tsilya,
I am her mother,
And you are the father of the future sea wolf,
- Stop it, - Mister Captain!
Is this your item?
Where is our money?
What you came for is in the treasury, You can't get to him,
And whoever drinks her blood will become immortal,
No, No, No,
- Mother! - Stand,
Before us is an untalented magician-illusionist,
It's impossible,
What do not you like?
Now you have three,
Olya, I have to go,
Osya, we wanted to be rich, And we will die rich,
Now you will see the death number,
Devil's chandelier,
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