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FOUR YEARS SINCE THE LAST WEDDING
Go!
In-law, did you get offended?
You got me wrong! This is a misunderstanding!
Galya, tell him!
Where are you going?
Father, this is it, I can't do it,
A WEEK AGO
Help yourself, father, Eat!
I'm not hungry,
Want to drink a bit to improve appetite?
Franik… In the morning?
I'm telling you as a doctor – you may drink a bit,
No, I won't,
Vasyl Seredyuk has changed forever,
Dad, stop it, You're still…
Daughter, I know,
I've lived for 48 years, For what? Who knows!
But for three kids, I'd say in vain,
This is it, Time to go,
To work,
Here, with chocolate,
Thanks, Galya, you seem to be in low spirits,
I am a bit,
A bit?
Talk to me?
I saw that you’ve been in low spirits for a long time,
My Seredyuk… is under the weather,
Vasyl…
Today is Wednesday, the family day,
What does it mean?
What do the Seredyuks do?
It must be an evil eye,
I want to take him to a psychic, Let her look at him,
To a Gypsy?
God forbid! To ours, Serafima Antonina,
She won the Battle of Psychics trice!
She's a pro! I'd still go to a Gypsy, though,
No way, I've been scared of them since childhood,
They give me goosebumps… Look! The goosebumps,
KYIV
Incredible Rada Alkaser!
Zakhar, I adore you,
You know…
A standing ovation, flowers…
Not every singer may afford that,
You tell me, What an achievement!
I can't believe it, My girlfriend is a show-biz star!
Zakhar, stop, I'm not a star,
Do you really believe that an 18-year-old Gypsy
may conquer our show-business?
Who else?
If you win grand prix in Vinnyk's show, all doors will open before you,
There is a casting for that show,
You'll pass the audition,
Have no doubts,
Who are you? A young she-wolf,
Zakhar,
This is
a typical Podillya villager of the start of the 19th century,
He doesn't look like one,
He reminds me of Barak Obama at Halloween,
What? Who doesn't look like one?
-Stepan, come on! -Damn it!
Our excursion will continue in the hall of the 20th century, Here you go,
Vasyl Romanovych, Excuse me,
I hurried as much as I can, Urgent business, I apologize,
How may one rely on you? Thankfully my son-in-law helped me out,
Mr, Abomeyang, thanks for help,
-I owe you, -OK,
Of course, But pay my wages first,
I've already spent it,
Will you loan me some?
A real KGB-man,
What an ugly face, as if not mine,
What is wrong?
Vasyl Romanovych, I don't recognize you, What's happened?
I feel complete apathy,
Nothing interests me,
Even Count Pototskiy's potty?
You know… I stole it
during an excursion in Mezhigirya,
Even my collection of vyshyvankas doesn't make me happy,
Can you imagine?
I see,
You have middle-age crisis,
What crisis? Must be retrograde Mercury,
We're of the same age, I know what I'm talking about,
You have middle-age crisis,
I'll play a tree in the kids' theatre if I am wrong!
But…
There is an effective medicine,
It's called love,
No, this medicine doesn't suit me,
I loved Galya and still love her, So?
Listen to me!
Love to a young girl,
Do you feel the difference?
What are you saying, Nazar? A young girl? Who needs us?
Maybe no one needs you,
But I have
a very young lover,
I…
I give you my word,
Let mayor pay me in rubles at the anniversary if I'm lying!
How have I spent your payment, what do you think?
A KGB-man!
Why a KGB-man? The rebels are ready, there is no one to be executed,
A KGB-man! A KGB-man!
Shooting people… You know…
Oh!
It doesn't make me happy either,
This is Zakhar Seredyuk!
Good evening, Hi, everybody! Hi!
My name is Zakhar, I am 18,
I was thinking of what a boy of my age may tell you
to make you laugh and so that you could relate,
About the wedding!
Vasyl?
Are you very busy tomorrow?
Do you need help taking the cat to be castrated?
-Ask Francois, -No,
Serafima Antonina came to Yablunivka,
I don't listen to such music,
I wish Zibrov or Pavlyk came,
Serafima Antonina is a famous fortune-teller and a psychic,
She start seeing people at 9 a,m,
She charges a lot but…
Galya, are you out of your mind? I won't go to a psychic!
What is next? Charging water before sleep?
Calm down, It's not for me,
I just saw a bad dream,
I'm not superstitious,
The entire Yablunivka was dancing and you laid in a coffin,
Let's go, Just to calm me down,
Who was dancing the most?
Taras,
We shall go!
Urgently!
Despite everything,
weddings are great,
As Oleg Vinnyk once sang with some bald guy,
"this is the best day of my life",
So, guys, if you have a girlfriend,
don't beat around the bushes,
Catch her by… the hand
and make her happy, Right now!
Just do it!
If you don't know how, I'll show,
Rada, my life has divided in two:
before and after meeting you,
Before, I was an ordinary guy
from a great family,
After…
I realized there was more to life,
When those eyes looked at me,
it was a knock-out,
When you smiled,
it was a knock-out,
I realized I was happy
and I want to stay happy forever!
So, Rada…
will you marry me?
Yes!
Yes,
She said yes!
Where are you going?
What does it say? "Go one by one",
Wait, Vasyl, I'll be quick,
Do you want to shatter my aura?
The issue is the following…
I see, Close your eyes,
Inhale,
Hold it,
Hold it, hold it,
Hold it,
Open,
Your chakra is clean, Live and be happy,
Father?
-What? -Got a fag?
-What? -Got a fag, pa?
Excuse me?
Lord, intelligentsia!
Can you give a lady a cigarette?
My ears are falling off,
No?
My husband has issues,
How do I say that?
Inflamed joints?
No,
Marital duty has become a strain, Do you get it?
A macho
isn't a macho anymore,
This is where you are, kitty,
I thought you were sucking a lobster in a restaurant without me,
Romanovych! Congratulations!
Please meet my beloved,
Vitalina,
Nice to meet you,
Vasyl Seredyuk is the owner of the only house museum in Podillya,
The one who you said was as sly as a fox?
No, She confused you with the mayor,
Kitty, go to the table at the restaurant, I'll come in a sec,
OK,
Nazar, how old is she?
She is 20, Don't worry, she is of age,
Where did you find her?
At the Crystal Throat contest,
I was on the jury, and she won grand prix,
-Honestly? -Honestly, with such legs?
Of course, she won honestly, She is talented,
God save your soul!
I just don't understand why?
I'm not bad looking, after all,
I'm even younger than you,
Stop,
Do you want to say I am old?
No! Stop it, Mrs, Serafima! You got me wrong,
OK,
Bring your failure here,
I'll show you, milksop,
I may show you first,
Romanovych, older men and young girls
are made for each other,
Vasyl, it's time,
Find a venereologist just in case,
I don't have issues, My wife just worries too much,
Do you want her?
-Who? -Your old woman?
Galya?
Well… sometimes,
If I am in the mood, Sometimes I am not,
It's time to leave her,
What? I'll die without her,
With Galya, I'm like a puppy behind the fence,
I may bark at anyone without fear,
You shall leave her,
Cards say you'll be happy,
Will Taras go to prison?
You'll have a new family,
With a young girl,
Rada, why do we need so many guests?
There is no other way!
What kind of wedding is it with few guests and an empty table?
It's normal for students,
I'm the Baron’s daughter, after all,
Even if I don't want to, dad will arrange a posh wedding, Otherwise, it's a shame,
Look, I…
I offer a compromise,
Let's have a posh wedding but without a restaurant,
In a school canteen?
No, In Yablunivka,
We have a house there, a huge yard…
We'll celebrate so loudly the entire district will hear!
Why not? It's not a bad idea,
Outside, Almost in the Gypsy style,
There is one small minus in this idea,
Vasyl Seredyuk,
Do you think those wedding stories are a lie?
An interesting family,
When will we go?
Let's go right now!
We have an old family tradition,
A wedding shall be totally unexpected,
Get ready, I'm waiting for you,
Don't be silent, What did she say?
I wasn't listening, Some nonsense, We wasted the money,
Seredyuk, how could you? I asked you to put it all down!
Maybe you shall put a poultice to that place!
What poultice? Where?
I was just thinking aloud,
God, Look, Nazar is so shameless!
She is still a child! And he is licking her,
-Ugh! -Maybe he does it, or maybe it's her,
It's love,
Why is my Gayane crying? What's happened?
Dad, are you deaf?
The child asks you to brush Narine's hair, Is it so hard?
OK,
This is it, this is it,
She is brushing the Armenian plait…
Are you a hairdresser now, Adamovych?
I'll look at you when you have a granddaughter,
I don't know about granddaughters,
However,
I'll have a new wife soon,
Stop it,
Did you exchange Galya for the librarian?
I don't drink that much,
I went to a psychic, She told me my fortune:
Vasyl, a new life with a new young wife is waiting for you,
Did you lose your mind at your old age?
Since when do you believe psychic's lies?
Don't mock me,
That psychic wasn't lying, Her eyes were honest,
Sure she shall lie with honest eyes, or else the fools won’t trust her,
How much did she charge you?
Stop it, Adamovych! When I meet a young beauty…
And? Will you introduce her to Galya?
Quiet! Don't tell anyone,
My lips are sealed,
Marry this year,
The next is for widows,
Stop it!
YABLUNIVKA
The village of Yablunivka,
Motherland to such great Ukrainians like Vasyl Seredyuk,
his son Zakhar Seredyuk,
Zakhar's son Budulay Seredyuk, if we call him so,
-Do you like it? -I do,
Now, our family entertainment will start: meeting the parents, Ready?
No,
We'll have fun,
To make it work we need to prepare well,
There is what to see here,
For example, the sky,
Or cello school of Yablunivka,
Wait for me here, as we agreed,
Vasyl Romanovych?
Hello, bonjour, hi,
What's wrong with you?
Short pants, a T-shirt with holes, a hat on your head, Are you sick?
Did you forget? I have a young lover, I shall look appropriately,
To make the age difference less noticeable,
Even if she dresses you in children's shop,
everyone can see you're twice as old,
Don't be jealous,
Vitalina and I decided to go abroad for a vacation,
Enough talking, dad, Let's go,
Go, I'll catch up,
I used to take Galya to Morshin,
Your Galya is pure gold,
If I took Vitalina to Morshin,
I'd come back with a scratched face,
-And with a healthy stomach, -But…
Nazar, how do you manage to keep such a young beauty by your side?
It's a secret,
Well…
OK, I'll tell you,
The main thing is to love and fear nothing,
No problems with the first, but as for "fear nothing"…
It's not hard!
Try it,
Are you crazy?
She is like from a magazine cover!
Don't worry, you can do it,
Come on,
A statue of a great Italian master Graziano Cavalli, 1997,
-You look even better from the back, -I am glad,
I'm so glad too,
This is my name,
Mr, Vasyl,
a local admirer of all things beautiful:
art, music and women,
I thought such people don't exist anymore,
Men need one thing nowadays,
Young men are idiots,
I commissioned this statue, by the way,
-You? -Yes, Experienced businessmen
like supporting people of culture and art,
Are you a businessman too?
Well… a bit,
I own a plant, two factories and a couple of shops,
On seeing you, I knew at once that you're special,
What?
Put the phone down,
Please don't consider me a cheeky brat…
Do you want to take my number?
Zero… Go on,
-I think we'll meet again, -What if we don't?
Yablunivka is a small place,
It won't be hard to find such a well-known person,
Sure, Every mutt knows me here,
I'd better ask people,
Goodbye, Arrivederci,
Yes!
Who were you looking at?
Well… At nobody,
Good, Everything is ready, Let's go,
Wait for 30 min, then enter the yard,
What? OK, I'll saw too, See?
Dad, enough, Zakhar will return and saw instead of Francois,
He'll saw, I said,
Ukraine shouldn't feed Europe for free,
Come on!
Zakhar!
-Hi, -Hi,
I knew from far away that my people were home,
How are the things going?
-Hi, -Zakhar! What a surprise!
We thought you were to come in a week,
I thought he'd be expelled from the university,
Are you still partying?
Don't worry, dad, I passed the exams,
The surprise still awaits, though,
Did you forget the jars? I knew it!
Well… I won't keep you waiting,
I decided to get married,
Following the example of my two elder sisters,
I bought my second half a week before the wedding,
Tanya!
Meet my Tetyanka,
Galya, stop it, Who do you believe?
You know he likes fun,
I love it, Like my Tetyanka,
It's serious between us, We have been together for 6 months,
Come on,
kiss,
What, right here?
Kiss her, I told you,
But…
OK, You know me too well,
Too well,
As agreed,
Thanks a lot,
What a joker!
Hi,
Welcome home,
Sonny,
you shall be more serious at 18,
Hi,
Bon appetite,
Thanks, How may we help?
She came to me,
From work,
Mum, I promised to be more serious,
This is Rada, my future wife,
Enough, I'm tired of your jokes, The one with an old lady was funnier,
The Seredyuks didn't have weddings for some time,
And here is the daughter-in-law, Rada,
This is my mum Galyna Ivanivna,
Sonny,
Mum Galya,
-Dad Vasya, -Eh…
Vasyl Romanovych, this guy's father,
Your dad and I have already met,
Not long ago…
Rada got lost and asked for the way,
I told her what street she was in, This is how we met,
-And you are… -Glad, Very glad,
Zakhar inherited his father's good taste,
My nose itches,
I'll be drinking soon,
Toast the meeting,
Katya and Mrs, Abomeyang are waiting,
Translating from French – Seredyuk,
This is a translation,
I don't get it,
Why did you say she came to you when she entered the yard?
Who? Me?
Galya, you're making things up,
Mum? What's happened?
Don't you like Rada?
No, why? I am glad,
I thought my son will bring a bigger girl, who'd look more like me,
Mum Galya will sort it out, though,
I'll teach my daughter-in-law to cook, she'll gain weight fast,
Thanks, but I don't like cooking,
What a joker!
A woman saying "I don't like cooking"!
Bortsch, varenyky – what doesn't work?
Nothing, I don't like cooking,
Hate being in the kitchen,
What do you like, then?
I like singing, And dancing,
Gypsies have it in their blood,
Mum, don't worry,
Vasyl Romalovych, chavella!
You may mock me!
But the psychic was right, A young beauty is here!
And? She is your daughter-in-law,
Not necessarily,
Will Vasyl Seredyuk fight for a girlfriend with his own son?
No way!
But I know Zakhar, This is not serious,
One can't escape fate, though,
It doesn't take straight paths,
I don't get it,
I'll simply push fate a bit,
In the right direction,
How will he live with such a lazy girl?
-Do you mean our daughter-in-law? -Yes, sure,
Where did he find such a bad housewife?
She can neither cook nor marinate and she doesn't want to learn!
God, he'll die of hunger,
So, you're OK that she is a Gypsy?
Oh Lord…
Don't worry,
We'll think of something,
No, If it's his choice, we shall come to terms with it,
-One can't dictate to heart, -You think it's love?
Look at our Zakhar and that… what is her name?
Men of the Seredyuk family have never fallen for Gypsies!
Why does he want to marry her, then?
Make a guess,
She charmed him, This is where his love comes from!
Right,
An evil eye,
A family meeting,
Sonny, good that you came,
We were talking about you,
I hope you're not drafting the testament,
Zakhar, you shall visit the fortune-teller,
And fast,
Here we go!
Dad, don't you start again!
What do I have to do with it?
Mum saw a bad dream, so… Right, Galya?
Yes, A bad dream about you,
Go, so that I can calm down,
Go!
Mothers feel with hearts,
OK, I'll tell Rada about the fun visit awaiting us,
Rada can't go,
People go to psychics alone, It's a rule,
-What will she do without me? -Don't worry,
She won't get bored
with such a father-in-law,
One may buy anything at the Rozetka marketplace,
Francois!
Father,
I need…
I need your help,
How do you like my new style?
Father, you look
like a fool,
That's why I came for a piece of advice,
Students will come to the museum for an excursion,
I want to look modern,
For youngsters to understand my words better,
No problem,
Father, pull your tummy in,
-Where are you going? -There,
Rada, honey,
let me show you the estate of Vasyl Seredyuk,
Relax, The word is funny, "Estate",
My yard,
My house,
I thought successful businessmen have at least two-storied houses,
I… exaggerated a bit
to impress a beauty like you,
Why did you lie about our meeting?
And asked me to shut up,
Or did I get it wrong?
You got it right,
Good job,
My Galya is very jealous,
-She glares at every pole… -Will she be jealous of a daughter-in-law?
It's not my fault I'm such an impressive man,
All ladies here in Yablunivka court me,
You don't believe me, do you?
The librarian, the soloist of the chorus, the deputy of the regional administration,
The prosecutor's daughter almost took her life!
"Rada Alkaser, welcome to…" I passed the test for Vinnyk's show!
Did you see that?
I told you,
fate will sort everything out,
Aren't you ashamed? Have conscience!
Don't ruin your son's happiness,
When Zakhar falls in love for real,
I'll be the first to bless him,
But for now…
Romanovych, come to your senses,
What are you doing? You're in your forties,
And? My second son-in-law is of the same age,
At this age I learnt the life's truth:
older men and young girls are made for each other,
What was the name of your psychic?
Want to meet a young girl too, old fox?
No,
Here, heroic lover,
One visit costs 500 UAH,
-How much?! -Oh, wow,
Coffee grounds
bring the powers,
Let boy Zakhar…
writhe from those!
What? Is that all?
Well, Mrs, Serafima?
Oh…
A very evil eye was cast upon your boy, Very evil!
But I cleansed him,
Are you sure?
Come up to the candles,
See?
The fire trembles,
Gypsy charms are leaving your boy,
I'm black
Black-haired like a Gypsy
Why did I fall for blond Zakhar?
In Ancient Greece, people didn't clap,
They gave laurel wreaths to winners,
The biggest honor was
to hug the singer kissed by the Muses,
-Dad, -Dad?
We agreed you'd come on the wedding day,
I wasn't expecting you,
I worry for my daughter,
I gathered everyone in the car and left,
We need to prepare my daughter for the wedding,
Meet my future son-in-law,
Yes, Sure,
You may call me "father",
Dad, this is…
Nice,
Good choice, daughter, I approve,
This is how I imagined you,
Ready to step on the towel of happiness?
I am,
Bless us, father,
Good job! You played up so well!
The Gypsy ensemble of song and dance welcomes you!
"Hey Gypsies! Hey Gypsies! Louder!"
Join our ensemble, You may tell jokes between the numbers,
Dad, stop it,
Vasyl Romanovych isn't an actor, He isn't used to such ways,
Invite us in, in-law!
You're welcome, With pleasure!
Romale, bagan!
Psychic Serafima?
I need to see you, It's urgent,
Money?
Money isn't a problem,
Why so early?
I…
I decided to go to a shop,
To buy a lamp,
It went off and needs changing,
I need to check the size,
-It's too small, -I see,
I'm going to a health center,
Electrocardiogram, ultrasound…
probe swallowing,
A probe?
Here is for the probe,
Tests are expensive nowadays,
Expensive, huh?
You're so weak, Taras,
I'm going shopping,
Buy whatever you want,
I won't have to tolerate you for much longer,
Find me a young wife,
What is wrong with the current one?
She is outdated,
Both physically and morally,
I shall get rid of her like of memories of the USSR,
You shouldn't do that,
Women in their forties…
Let them charm men in their sixties,
Goodbye, an old tin of 1972!
-I want a first-grade student, -This is too much!
I'll pay more than Seredyuk,
But she needs to be more beautiful and younger,
You'll die soon,
I don't get it,
This is true,
This is you; this is the card of death,
Of what?
-I didn't order that, -This is what the cards say,
You have about three days,
Do you feel hot?
Do you have trouble breathing? Does it darken in your eyes?
The first signs,
Your year of birth?
1971,
You have lived enough, Go!
No, I want to live some more,
What can I do?
Well,
there is one way,
Touch it!
I'm giving you a month or two, no more,
They brought the entire family!
They could've forgotten at least someone,
What did you expect? The family values! Like you wanted,
What do I have to do with it?
Who set out local psychic at them?
Serafima is a professional when it comes to issues of love and family,
But these folk are too much for her,
-Serafima's magic will work, you'll see, -Oh, well,
Do you think they eat lard?
Stop!
Bread, salt and Ukrainian sweets,
I have a Gypsy romantic song to complement such a rich table,
Excuse me,
My dear in-law
Oh, my dear in-law!
My in-law!
I wish you health, Cheers,
Eat, kids, Help yourself, mate,
Are you all right?
Fine,
-What? A virus? -No, I'm allergic to foolishness,
Seredyuk, may I talk to you for a sec?
One moment,
What's happened?
You tell me,
Journalists are coming to me tomorrow,
-What do you have here? -What?
I'm the one asking questions, What is going on here?
Relatives came,
Uncle Vasya!
Do you want to go to jail for giving false evidence?
Look at them, They can't be your relatives,
Colonel Petro Popadyuk,
Comrades of unknow nationality, present your IDs,
-Don't stare, show the papers, -Serafima,
Serhiy, detain them,
Why are you so strict, Colonel?
We're preparing for a wedding, Our daughter is getting married,
We invite you too,
I'm on duty, I can't party,
Romale!
We invite you!
Our chorus is singing again
We're dancing for you
Come to the wedding
Make us happy
Let's drink for our dear Petya
The world hasn't seen such a handsome guy
Here is Serafima for you,
Even police are succumbing to them,
Our Zakhar doesn't have a chance,
We lost our sonny,
God, they aren't afraid of anything,
Just the church,
Father Yevlampiy was thrown out of Kyiv because of a conflict with the Gypsies,
I heard he pawned the incense jar,
Who owned the pawnshop?
What if we…
Stop it! You and your ideas!
Dear guests, kids, save your strength,
Tomorrow is a very important day,
Before the wedding
mum wants you to get married in a church,
Why wait until Saturday?
Is it a deal? The church tomorrow?
And a disco tonight!
Let's drink for our dear Petya
I'm going to the church, Cover for me,
Sis, it's not a big sin to swear
during the President's speech,
She came,
Go home, sister, I'll pray for you,
I haven't told you how I watch the news,
You're such a sinner!
Come on Sunday,
Is everything ready?
Come on,
It's a great honor to welcome Mother Superior Kapitolina
from the Grushiv monastery in our modest community of Yablunivka,
Sister, I prepared a surprise for you,
Come to a backyard in a moment,
Damn it, God, forgive me, How did you come here?
Via the back gates, They are closer,
What is this celebration?
The fast ends in a few days, I'm testing my flesh,
I look at food and wine and do it alone, Farewell,
I have a delicate question for you,
I see…
All sins are forgiven,
Get out in peace, son,
-My son wants to get married! -Let the newlyweds be happy!
-But she is a Gypsy! -Oh-la-la,
An exhibition of ancient icons will arrive,
It'll stay here for a month,
They decided to get married,
Just for fun, or to make their parents mad,
-A month, -Two!
If the icons stay here for two months,
I'll push all Gypsy out of this district,
So, tomorrow…
This is all for you, sister,
The lights went off again,
I told you to renew the equipment,
No way, I put a magnet there, Therefore, I pay zero,
Dad, why are you standing there? The pasta is getting cold,
Oksana…
If something happens to me,
promise you won't bring a new man into this house,
Taras, only a fool may come to this humble hut,
Why a fool? The house is fine,
It's not new but…
It's almost a transport hub,
Yeah,
Thanks, sonny, Thanks,
Being in my sound mind with good memory,
I bequeath you…
my
garage,
Thank you,
I asked the doctor not to voice his diagnosis,
-He is so sensitive, -What does he have again?
You went to the market, What did he say?
We didn't reach it, The carburetor died, He said it was a sign,
He cried in the car and took his heart drops,
I don't get it,
He was OK in the morning, He climbed a chair to change a lamp,
Oh, I know!
He wanted to hung himself!
No way, Why would he?
Because of stress, The same happened to my Uncle Tigran,
He escaped from clinic, climbed a cistern,
shouted: "I won't suffer!" and switched a lighter on,
Good it was wine in the cistern, We took him home drunk in the evening,
I'll hide the knives just in case,
What is this?
They said our house was small,
Is the parents' house too small for you?
Dad, It's summer, Nights are warm,
Dear in-laws, I invite you all inside,
Good night,
Have rest,
Sweet dreams,
Good night,
Sweet dreams,
Have rest,
-Good night, -Good night,
In-law!
I feel so uncomfortable, How will you manage?
Good night,
Thanks, Felik, Bulidin,
A lullaby,
Good night,
Sweet dreams, honey,
I cook bortsch for you, and you sent me to a cell!
They could spend the night outside like they wanted to,
Think of what we'll get tomorrow?
Scoliosis? Arthritis? Radiculitis?
An alibi, We sacrificed what we could,
We met the in-laws in the best way we could,
Father Yevlampiy will sabotage the wedding,
It was your idea, I just supported it,
For the sake of my son,
And only for one night,
By the higher will,
there will be no wedding!
What?
Oh! Romale!
What do you mean – no wedding?
They want to get married,
Your duty is to marry them,
Got it?
Impossible!
The church law prohibits it!
It prohibits weddings between good Christians
and such people,
A huge scandal is brewing,
What people?
Do you have another priest? Not a racist?
Call the manager!
Go to hell!
In-laws, kids, calm down,
What can we do?
Fate is against it,
Maybe in a year or two church laws will be amended, Right?
You made a scandal in such a place!
I wish you took notice of our important guest
from the Grushiv monastery!
Be healthy and happy!
They are our blood,
Sister, do you know our Roma language?
I became Kapitolina in the monastery
but in Mukachevo, I used to be
Zora Demetr,
She is ours! A Gypsy!
Why can we go to monasteries by the church law
but can't marry in churches?
Sister Zora, we shall think of something,
I beg you,
Father,
you may do it,
You can,
OK, We may…
We may marry you in your parents' yard,
If your parents aren't against it,
Right during the wedding,
Phew…
"Thank you, Father, I have tears in my eyes",
My shoes gave me blisters,
What kind of negotiations is that?
They will be married by a priest and we'll keep living in a bathroom!
Who could've known they have spies everywhere?
The world conspiracy! Wrong people are called masons,
Vasyl Romanovych!
A Scythian jar disappeared from the museum! Must have been stolen,
Stop it! We'll find it now!
Galya, I'll tell you about the illuminati when I come back,
No, wait, I'll change my shoes, God!
Why do you say stolen? Maybe you forgot it somewhere,
Who knows, Maybe some Gypsies stole it,
What do you mean – some Gypsies?
Why Gypsies? Do only Gypsies steal?
This is what people say,
-Just a saying, A common phrase, -This is what they say, don't they?
Yes, in our district, In Korostyshiv, they say:
"Stealing is Gypsies' job,
If you befriend Gypsies, you'll end up in prison",
I'm going, Bye!
A cheater!
I'll kill you!
Quiet!
Zakhar came back,
Zakhar? Where is he?
Good evening,
Mum, meet a convict,
Your son served three years,
Schtirlitz, hande hoch!
Oh, Galya,
do you know one shouldn't peep on handsome men?
What are you saying?
Do you know who they are for real?
The mafia, All shops will pay them now,
They've only come to Yablunivka recently,
and items from the museum are already disappearing,
Mum, you watch too much of "The Sniffer" and scare people,
Granny Zoya doesn't take her pension from the post before sniffing it,
What may I do? My boy will be lost with that gang!
File a report,
For wearing golden chains incompatible with sound mind?
They'll sentence them to karaoke for life,
Go and look,
Let's drink for our dear Petya
The world has never seen…
Do you know that victims of robberies
are compensated from confiscated property of the criminals?
Auntie Galya, go home,
Your sorrow is in your reliable hands,
Really? Will you help? How?
Galya, don't say a word without a lawyer,
Right,
If you have sweets,
you have friends,
-Here, -What about me?
Your voice is more pitiful,
Oh, Lord,
Hello? Police?
We have been robbed,
We got a signal of a robbery,
The rapid response group
reacted rapidly,
27 minutes… I shall buy a watch,
The Caucasian-Ukrainian criminal syndicate
was caught red-handed,
Thanks to what?
Right, the successful police reform!
Look, Batman, I'll reform you myself now!
We're the victims! The robbed, not the robbers,
It's impossible, damn it!
The investigation investigated new working version
and concluded that boys aren't guilty,
Justice in one minute, Thanks to what?
To the successful police reform!
Did you record it?
Let's go to the market to chase old ladies, I mean, illegal sellers,
Freeze!
We have suspects,
The crime was solved on the 30th minute,
In the course of the investigation,
the criminal cartel from Yablunivka that included Gypsies was neutralized,
Thanks to the successful police reform!
What are you doing? Let them go! Rada!
Let go!
The community of Yablunivka is glad
that the order was restored for 3 to 7 years, Wait,
For how long?
Seven,
Rada! Rada!
And that's obstruction of police work,
It's a crime,
Chief, hold on!
No places, We're full as if on a Black Friday,
Lieutenant Serhiy, we detained big fish,
We may let the small fry go, Go away from here,
Let's get in,
What's the fuck?!
Thank you,
I'm home,
Galya, those Pithecanthropus put the Scythian jar in the Trypillia hall!
Did they detain innocent people
due to a stupid order from a neighboring district?
I just wanted them out of Yablunivka,
Prosecutors are driven out,
commoners get in prison!
Damn it!
Katrusia! Go calm mum down!
Get in!
Francois and I are going to save our people,
Get in!
Come on!
Who may believe that they are criminals?
One can see at once that they are honest artists!
The Kryzhanivskiys are liars,
They told the entire Yablunivka
that you licked police van last winter!
The hooligans then rode you on it all night long,
It was… an experiment,
Citizen Seredyuk,
the investigation has all the facts,
Is there a crime?
There is,
Are there Gypsies?
There are,
Is there a complaint?
There is,
And…
Thank you,
They have no alibi,
We're having rest,
In-laws, Rada, don't worry, We'll get you out in no time,
Vasyl,
Why do you flatter them?
Galya and I made a great plan, You'll get peace, we'll get money,
We'll get nothing if they suspect it,
I'm arranging your peace,
I'm demonstrating I'm on their side so that they wouldn't want revenge,
The avengers!
Will they sing Vinnyk's song under your windows or what?
This one,
You gave me…
Is that all?
I was happy too until I found out that our performer was their Baron,
His real name is Gojko Mitic, the Mukachevo Ripper,
Gojko Mitic? A familiar name, Where could I hear it?
In the criminal news,
He whispered to me that 40 Gypsy militants are coming here,
What shall I do? I want to live,
Police will defend themselves, as always,
We'll protect ourselves as we can,
How interesting! Vasya, we made this plan together!
Lady, who are you? I don't know you!
-Vasya, -Let us go!
Daughter, this is not right,
They are innocent people!
-We found the money! Behind the table, -Yes,
Great, Congratulations,
We'll do an expertise, Maybe this money wasn't stolen, Come tomorrow,
It's police abuse!
Freedom to the repressed! Come here! Olka, catch him!
Stop! Back! Gilya! Stand together!
Quiet,
Give us a couple of days,
Take everyone away when the bosses come,
I'll even release the drunks,
Two days? Really?
A word of a crimi… a Colonel!
-Eat while you can! -Give me a hand! You'll break it,
I have a topographic trauma!
Let go of my hand! Stop it, I said!
Comrades Gypsies, we apologize,
Let the band go along the corridor,
-Here, -Don't get offended, Thanks for the bat,
Mother, I'll miss you,
Handsome,
Mr, Baron, here you go,
Please sign the statement,
That we have no claims to you?
That you have a moral trauma,
That your honor suffered, and your property too,
Petya, nobody wishes you ill, Right, in-law?
Sure,
What do I have to do with it? I recorded it all,
We shall convict
two repetitive bad-mouthers for giving false evidence,
Let's get ready, girls, Kachanivka, all inclusive, 500 per day,
Here is the payment, Let the fairy tale begin,
No,
Everybody goes home!
Thanks, Baron,
Romale!
Why are you smiling?
Change into sports clothes and run into the cell!
-You too! -What? Again?
Shall I show an empty detention cell to the general?
Why did you steal geese?
Nazar, what's happened?
Were you beaten up?
I wish,
Why did I get close with that Vitalina?
What was I thinking?
Did you separate?
I separated with my car, apartment and money!
She got everything,
It's OK, Money is nothing,
Have rest, Then, you can get a new doll,
Romanovych, if you see me with a young girl,
hit me on my foolish head,
Young and old have nothing in common,
We're aliens,
Nazar, calm your heart,
as the doctor said, You'll be OK,
-Do you remember Ivasyuk's songs? -Sure,
The entire epoch,
Galya and I lived by the Waterfall, We loved that song,
It's old school for them, though,
It's trashy to read books!
Ties are not in fashion,
Rada!
-Rada! -Zakhar!
-They let you go, -Yes,
Your dad is a hero, He saved us,
Thanks, dad,
Young people have their own lives,
We shall value what is ours,
Rada isn't just a girl…
I hope that in many years
she'd look at me in the same way mum looks at you,
She looks at me like everybody else,
Dad…
Not like everybody,
Look at how her eyes shine when she sees you,
Her glance is so warm,
Didn't you notice?
Well… sure,
How may one miss that?
Sonny,
forgive me, please,
For what?
Just forgive me, OK? And…
never be like me,
Never,
Be better,
They'll sleep outside, with no walls,
What shall we do with Zakhar's wedding?
The young shall decide,
They shall arrange it as a couple,
We shall look after ourselves,
Ma, it says "Olympic Games 1980",
-We can't give it for the wedding, -Why? It's for the Seredyuks,
Vasyl was so happy when he got an old jar,
That jar is 300 years old,
These fish shall retire, Pack!
Gayane! What did granny buy for her favorite girl?
A whistle?
Take your child,
-I'll have to buy that silly mug, -I asked the kid to leave it for dad,
"No, let him undergo the treatment", We don't know what from!
We'll find out, Here is our doctor, Lydia Vasylivna, hello,
Hello,
Tell us the truth, How long will he live?
Will dad at least take the kid to school?
I won't survive with her on my own,
I have no idea what's wrong with your husband,
Taras Adamovych last came to me six months ago,
Excuse me,
What the hell?
You took the money, you didn't go to the doctor, you bid farewell to us,
What is going on?
I know, He has a lover,
He rented a house for her and is leaving, Do you have other ideas?
-Gayane! Damn it, -Here we go! Again!
-What? It was already chipped, -Who will pay?
Call Ashot, tell him to start the car, We're going home,
I'll kill him now!
I don't know what I'll do!
Vasyl offered me to go to a psychic and wish
for a young lover,
-Serafima said I was dying, -This prognosis will now come true!
Quiet, mum, Wait, The one receiving visitors in the House of Culture?
Who else?
She is as good fortune teller as Ashot is,
She used to work in communal services,
She says what people want to hear, These are all lies, dad,
These are not lies,
She predicted a young beauty for Vasyl,
Am I worse than him?
I'll show you worse!
-I'll show you where you're worse! -Quiet!
Who did she find for Seredyuk?
Rada, the daughter-in-law,
When Zakhar left, he started having fun with her,
You'll tell her,
-Why me? -Because I called the police,
-So what? -This is it,
-Goodbye, -Sure,
-Galya, -Girls, excuse me,
May I use your mirror? My house is pure chaos,
Yes, yes,
I can't find a normal mirror,
Yes,
-Auntie Galya… -Yes,
We have something to tell you,
Galya, we…
We noticed long ago that your Vasyl was a bit,
well, weird,
He is, with all his jars and pots,
Yes,
Girls, let's talk after the wedding, OK?
Zakhar can't marry her!
You see,
Vasya has feelings for her,
How can that be? Did he bewitch her?
We didn't want to believe, but Taras swore: when you all left the house…
They were doing it, you know,
Auntie Galya, are you all right? Here,
-Galya… -To relieve stress,
Auntie Galya! We're here if you need us,
The nightingale sings, the calf chews,
Father Yevlampiy will marry the couple,
Children…
My children,
dear young ones,
we're here for a reason today:
to witness love of two young hearts,
Zakhar, Rada,
step on the towel of happiness,
Stop!
Don't rush before your father, You still have time,
Seredyuk, look at that young girl,
Is she beautiful? Jump on a towel, goat,
Mum, are you OK?
-Are you all right? -Yes, I feel great,
I wish you happiness with my Vasyl,
Don't expect much of the first night,
but he knows lots of fun stories,
In-law!
Your wife's behavior isn't funny anymore,
Calm her down,
Seredyuk, calm us all down,
Tell everybody that you got hot for a young body!
I know about it, Tell everyone!
It wasn't like you think it was,
We… just had a walk,
Are you a whore?
Did you bring your band to steal both my son and my husband?
Mum!
Why are you standing? Go to granny,
Come on!
Let me say a word, at least!
Tell me how it all started,
Did she seduce you? Charm? Bewitch?
Serafima Antonina bewitched me,
Do you remember who sent me to her?
She forecasted a new family with a young beauty for me,
She told me to leave you, The cards said so,
One can't escape fate,
Do you know what?
Our psychic will get nothing! I'm a wizard myself,
I have fantastic kids, Everyone envies me!
Let Zakhar have a new family with a young beauty,
I am ready to leave my wife,
I leave you every day,
In the morning, To come back in the evening,
When I look at you, I see the same first grade student
whom I fell in love with for life,
I don't need anybody else,
Bravo! Well done!
Brothers and sisters, we spoilt Zakhar's wedding,
Let's hug and cry from happiness,
We'll catch up with the Baron and explain,
Yes! Sure!
Baron, what mum said about your daughter today
wasn't all the info,
Father will clarify something, It'll definitely work,
Zakhar, calm down,
I thought I'll have two families today, But I have none,
We'll save the wedding,
The phone,
Francois, on the horses!
Father, do you really have horses?
Take the bike! Katrusia, work on his imagination!
Comrade Colonel, I have an issue,
Zakhar! Where are you going?
To a place with no Seredyuks!
Wait! Dad will bring everyone back,
-Baron won't listen to him! -He'll have to – after the rescue,
What rescue?
Police will scare them, and our dad will rescue them,
We made a deal with Popadyuk,
You want him to let Rada marry anybody but me, Is that your plan?
We want what is best,
Ashot, start the car, we're going,
Francois, why are we so slow?
Father, it has limited horsy power,
You shall say "horse powers",
You can't talk normally, so pedal!
Come on! Come on!
Come on!
ZAKHAR
Dad, Daddy, please,
Stop! Enough! Don't rush the horses,
We didn't do it on purpose, I swear,
Why react so acutely? Let's draft a list
of all pluses and minuses, OK?
-Go! -Where are you going?
Dad! Daddy, let's go back,
It's not Zakhar's fault!
Go! You're like a turtle!
Father, shall we exchange places?
Did you hear? Our son-in-law is an African weakling,
Come on! Faster!
In-law! I understand, Galya has a difficult character,
Especially after sweet wine!
She said something wrong, you got it wrong!
It's a misunderstanding!
Galya, tell him!
What?
How?
Where are you going?
Father, this is it, I can't do it anymore,
Mum!
Why are you so proud? It's a big sin, by the way!
Popadyuk, come on!
Serhiy, fetch!
Here!
Faster, snails!
-Don't be scared, -On the mark,
Vandals! It was all new!
I took it out of the cellophane today!
Damn it!
Petya, calm down,
I'll compensate, Please catch up with my in-laws,
It's another district, Outside of my jurisdiction,
Who is that fool?
Into the mulberry, fast!
Well?
Take it, fast! Fast, I told you!
Bravo!
Good job, dad,
Shall we summon artillery? It's an effective way to make up,
Sonny, don't worry, We lost a battle but not a war,
Why do you turn every wedding of your kids
into a battlefield?
Their families are strong, Calm down, they'll make up,
Did you see this?
She wrote
I shouldn't come to the elimination round of the show,
I know how to restore relations, Trust me, Give me the phone,
I need to call my in-law,
Hello, Yura? I need your help,
Help of your friend Oleg Vinnyk, to be more exact,
A harsh battle continues
for the last spot in the project "I Want to Join Oleg",
-I got it, -Sorry, no entrance,
Let them go, They are from me,
We're the sponsors of the show,
OK, Come in,
-Thanks, you helped a lot, -Please don't spoil my mate's show,
-Yura, you know me, -Precisely, this is why I ask,
Come back from your Maldives, We'll talk later,
Chao,
Please applaud!
-Well? How is our girl doing? -Holding on,
Why did you come here?
To correct our mistakes,
Our?
Long ago, our glorious ancestors
founded a great land of Hetmans here,
It had hard-working people, brave warriors,
wide meadows and free woods,
Immense pride and limitless stubbornness,
Every soldier considered himself to be a Hetman and did what he thought right,
The state disappeared,
The task of the parents is to make their kids happy,
Even at the expense of their pride,
It's not worth of the kids' tears,
In your family you're a Hetman,
Father, you're the one to decide the future of your child,
It was the last spot in our project,
But this voice was one of the first,
Not only in our project but in our entire country,
Remember my words,
Thank you, Thanks a lot!
See you,
-Dad! -Daughter!
Dad!
Daughter! This is the best day of my life!
This is just an elimination round, dad,
Four more until the finals,
Even a super-finals of the Eurovision will be road dust
in comparison with this day,
The day of your wedding,
My wedding?
Surprise!
Zakhar!
I told you that you'd pass,
Well, on your horses – and to Yabkunivka!
No! We already had a wedding
in Yablunivka,
This time, we'll do it my way,
Like Gypsies do,
A grandpa is sitting by the stove making origami,
We'll give a word to mum at our wedding!
Bravо!
Since childhood, we've been taught different rules:
what to wear, how to do make-up,
what a woman shall do about the house,
Everything shall be right,
Even dreams about the future,
Nobody dreams of bringing up a son
and marry him to a Gypsy singer
who can't cook bortsch,
Mum,
This is not what I wanted to say,
I feel and see
that our kids will live according to feelings, not rules,
It's sincere, from my heart,
Whatever happens in your life,
remember: family is the most important,
-Yes, -The bigger the family,
the bigger your happiness,
Today, the Seredyuks are overwhelmed with happiness,
Overwhelmed!
Thanks to our new fun relatives,
Stay healthy and happy!
Our Gypsy in-law!
My girl,
Sometimes people shout "kiss, kiss" at weddings,
I forgot the main thing,
Kiss!
Kiss! Kiss!
Cheers for the newlyweds!
Dear friends!
I was afraid the alcohol has finished,
Father, I have a request,
I want to confess in my sins tomorrow in the morning,
Why wait until the morning?
I'm ready to listen to you now,
I can't do it now,
To repent in the morning one needs to sin in the evening,
Sure,
Shall we go?
God help you,
Taras,
Did you really want to leave us?
I'd kill you!
Dad, look after the little one,
Stop!
The kid will soon call grandpa "daddy",
-Mum, what's wrong? -Nothing! Dad isn't your servant!
He may want
to dance too,
A pig in the sty, woodpecker on the willow,
and Vinnyk
at our wedding!
As always,
Good evening!
I wish happiness to the newlyweds!
Thanks! Goodbye!
Vitalina? You?
Congrats! See you,
Oleg? Stop!
Don't give her the keys from your car!
And a PIN-code from your card!
She is a thief! She robbed me and will rob you!
Oleg, stop!