Woo-hoo!
Hmm?
Woo-hoo!
The story of The Three Little Pigs
doesn't have bears who save the day in it,
Oh, we'll fix that,
I think I found one,
Yup, that's a potato all right,
Dirty and raw, just the way I like 'em,
Mmm!
Brother, what are the rest of us supposed to eat?
Relax, Just keep digging,
We'll find more-- m-- m--
Careful where you're sneezing there, fuzzy,
Hey, you can't sneak up on me like that,
I'm aller-- aller-- aller--
You was gonna say allergic, weren't you?
Yes, I'm allergic to the hair of your chinny, chin, ch--
Now, if you don't mind, Pig, we are busy digging for potatoes,
And so far, we have none,
Potatoes, huh?
Have I got a deal for yous,
You can have all the potatoes you want,
All the potatoes we want?
-But you have to-- -Come on, Pig, let's get going,
Uh-oh,
-You just have to-- -Yes! Yes!
Potato us, Pig,
Huh?
Now, all yous gotta do is take care of my beautiful brick house
while I'm on vacation,
and I shall give you more potatoes than you could ever imagine,
I don't know, I can imagine a lot of potatoes,
Ah, can you?
Let me see, Let me see,
Whoa!
Wow,
My potato cellar,
Wow!
Must have potatoes,
-Uh, uh, uh! -Whoa!
Forget about it,
You'll get your potatoes after you've done your part of the deal,
I'll be at the Golden Swine Day Spa if there's any problems,
Bye! Ah-- Ah--
So long, little bears,
Pig dropped his key,
Oh, we've got to give it to him before someone uses it,
-Too late! -Huh?
Wow,
Potatoes!
He's back!
Shh!
Ooh,
Hey, you're not Pig,
And neither are you,
Oh, Miriam G, Howl,
Nice to meet you, Hmm,
Is it me, or is Mrs, Howl's mustache a little bushy for a woman of her age?
Now, where's that delicious-- I mean, delightful pig who lives here?
Gone, We're guarding his house
and especially his potatoes that are locked up with this key,
And he won't be back
unless we have to go get him because there's trouble,
-Hey, -Trouble like this, you mean?
Huh?
You'd better scootsy and tell that big, tasty pig to hurry back
before I eat all of his potatoes,
Eat all the potatoes?
The ones Pig's supposed to give us?
No!
Come on!
Pig! Pig! Pig! Pig! Pig!
Now, where could that Golden Swine Day Spa be?
There!
Pig! Pig! There's a problem,
What in the name of-- Who are you?
Who are we?
We're the bears taking care of your brick house,
Oh, you must have me confused with my brother, the real estate mogul,
Yeah, Want some stick soup?
Wait, Pig has a brother? Funny, he never mentioned you,
That's because that greedy swine forgot all about his family
as soon as he made it big in bricks, but who needs money, right?
-I'm very happy with my very humble… -Ah-- Ah--
…pile of wood,
Sorry, allergic to pigs,
Look, uh, could you maybe help us find your brother?
Yeah, there's kind of a problem with his potato cellar,
-See, it's open and-- -His potato cellar?
Yahoo!
I'll never have to eat stick soup again!
Yee-haw! Woo-hoo!
Oh, now Mrs, Howl and Pig's brother are going to get into his cellar,
And eat all our potatoes!
Pig!
Pig! Pig! Pig! Pig! Pig!
-Oh, Pig! -Piggy Pig, Piggy!
Ouch,
Ugh! There's nothing around here but bug-ridden bales of straw,
I'll have you know this bug-ridden straw bale is my home,
Ah-- Ah-- Ah--
Correction, was my home,
Oh, where are my manners? Straw sandwich?
Uh…
Let me guess, You're Brick Pig's brother,
He made a fortune and wouldn't share with you,
Bingo,
Uh, here's the thing,
We accidentally unlocked his potato cellar and--
Potatoes, here I come!
We really gotta find a different way to tell that story,
Come on! We gotta find the Golden Swine Day Spa, and fast!
Pig!
-Oh, Pig! -Piggy Pig! Piggy Pig! Piggy Pig!
Pig! Pig!
Piggy Pig, Pig, Pig,
Ouch,
Here,
This'll work better, Guaranteed to stop your sneezing,
Hey,
Wow,
This is it, The Golden Swine Day Spa!
Wow!
It's even more glamorous than I imagined,
Look, the mud baths have their own bathrooms,
No, the mud baths are their own bathrooms,
Ooh,
There he is!
The Brick Pig,
Pig! Pig, we've got big news, Some lady is in your potato cellar!
What?
And so is your brother who lives in the stick house,
What?
And your brother who lives in the straw house,
What?!
Boy, his hearing is the worst,
-Your cellar is open! -I heard ya,
Great! Can we have our potatoes now?
Forget about it,
-Guess there's only one thing left to do, -Forget about it?
No! We have to find a way to help Pig so we can get our potatoes,
Come on!
Guests coming for dinner Unless I'm mistaken
The guests coming for dinner Make wonderful bacon
-Hey, -Ooh,
Where's Pig and his brothers?
"Pig"? "Brothers"?
Why, they're certainly not jammed in the fridge,
What an odd thing to say,
Hmm?
Hello,
Oh, hey, lady! How about putting on a towel or something?
That's not a kind old lady, That's a kind old wolf,
Who's very hungry,
So are we, and we want our potatoes,
Hiyah!
Huh?
Hiyah!
Oh,
Hooray!
Aw,
Charge!
-Huh? -Uh…
Hey,
Ouch,
Hiyah! Wah!
Oh,
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
It's no use,
Enough playing around,
It's time to eat!
There's only one thing left to do,
Brother, no! You're allergic!
For the potatoes,
For the potatoes!
Ah-- Ah-- Ah-- Ah-- Ah-- Ah-- Ah--
My beautiful brick house,
Oh, it's hard being a fairy-tale wolf,
Look, everyone, Potatoes!
Hey!
-Oh boy! Thanks, Brother! -Woo-hoo!
My potatoes!
Now I've lost everything,
What? Forget about it,
-You still have your brothers, -Ha!
-That's right! -Yeah,
And there's nothing better, Am I right, brothers?
-Right! -Got that right,
-Boy, am I hungry, -These are gonna be good,
-Oh yeah, -Potatoes,
This is the untold story of Little Red Riding Hood,
You know, the one that starts in a forest where frogs bleat…
…mice yodel…
…and bears dig,
Come on, brothers, dig! Dig, I tells ya, dig!
Here's one!
-Got it, -Here's another one,
And another,
-Here's more, -Here's one,
And another,
Catch!
Hey, where'd he go?
Stop horsing around, Brother, We've got work to do,
Relax, We've got enough potatoes to last us all winter,
Now for the easy part,
carrying them home,
Whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Maybe getting these potatoes home isn't gonna be so easy after all,
La, la, la, la, la la, la, la--
Having trouble with your taters, bearsies?
Say, Little Red, um, you wouldn't have an extra basket we could use, would you?
Course,
Here you go!
How are we supposed to get all our potatoes home
in a teensy-weensy basket like that?
"Teensy-weensy"?
I call it the Basket Bunker 2000,
It can hold anything,
-Ooh! -Sweet basket!
And it's all yours, but you've gotta help me first,
Protect me from the Big Bad Wolf!
That mean, old Mr, Wolf is always trying to get me on my way to Granny's,
Uh, hold on, We need to go into our decision-making process,
Butt scratch circle!
-Oh yeah, -Oh, that's great,
Oh yeah,
Uh, bears?
We'll do it,
Yippee! With you bears to protect me,
that big, bad, mangy, sneaky…
…flea-ridden wolf will finally get what's coming to him,
Now, let's go,
La, la, la, la, la…
Come on, brothers, We've got to protect that little girl!
La, la, la, la, la…
Yeah, but who's going to protect us from her?
La, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la…
Mmm!
Hmm?
If you bearsies want that basket for your taters,
you're going to have to get serious,
Serious, Got it!
Brothers!
La, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la…
Yoo-hoo!
Mm-hmm!
There he is, He's stalking us,
Quick, do something,
Run!
Every bear for himself!
No, you're supposed to be protecting me,
Like this…
Uh, you seem pretty tough, Can't you protect yourself?
Me? I'm just a helpless little child all alone in the woods,
Now protect me the way I showed you,
He got away, so we're gonna need a trap,
A trap? We thought you just needed protection,
Do you want that basket for your potatoes or not?
-Yes, -Potatoes, yes,
You heard the lady, brothers, Let's dig a trap,
Dig a trap!
Mission accomplished,
Mmm, perfect, My plan is foolproof,
Now, on my signal, circle behind the wolf, and drive him into the trap,
Then we get our basket?
Then you get your basket,
Huh?
Mm-hmm!
There he is! There he is!
Brothers, drive him to the trap,
Is this the part where you give us our basket?
No, this is the part where you're fired!
Give them a basket, my foot, I'll make my own trap,
A girl's gotta count on herself around here,
In our defense, the trap did work,
-Totally, -Yeah,
But now, how are we gonna get a basket for our potatoes?
-Psst! -Hmm?
Up here,
Don't be afraid, I'm here to help you,
Really? Can you give us a basket big enough
to carry all the potatoes we need for an entire winter back home?
What?
I mean, of course, but you've got to help me first,
Why does everyone around here have a big "but"?
All right, mister, how big is your "but"?
Well, I need your help to put on a spectacular performance
right here in the forest,
I'm calling it, Fakespeare in the Woods,
Oh, sounds fun,
It is,
It's the story of a hungry granny in need of a snack,
And I'm trying to invite that delicious-- delightful Little Red,
but she thinks I'm trying to eat her,
Well, you are called the Big Bad Wolf,
That's just a nickname,
Call me Jerry,
Don't worry, Jerry,
As long as you guarantee us a big basket for our potatoes,
we'll help you put on your play,
Huh?
Ow!
Broadway, it ain't,
This is the magic of theater, my friends,
Our spellbinding tale will show Red I'm not a bad guy,
Yes, just a bad actor,
It's showtime,
Now, remember the plan,
I mean, your parts,
When you hear me say, "All the better to eat you with,"
that's your cue to release the trap--
Uh, change the scene,
La, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la…
Places, everyone, Places,
Places,
Wait for me!
Yah!
La, la, la, la--
Ooh!
Yoo-hoo! I'm over here, my sweet,
Granny, is that really you?
What do you think?
Audience participation, Love it,
Funny, I don't remember your bed being outside your house,
Plot twist,
And those teeth,
And your breath,
When's the last time you saw a dentist, Granny?
Your teeth are so…
Big? All the better to--
Eat me with?
Hiyah!
I don't think so,
Wait, wait, that was our cue!
To the stage!
Let's go,
Careful,
What a show! I did not see that coming!
Time to end this once and for all,
I agree,
So meet my friends, Huff and Puff,
Jerry, what are you doing?
Oh yeah?
Say hello to my little friend, The Goody Blaster 2000,
Eat cookies, Wolfie,
Uh, are you sure that's the best way to solve this?
They're both nuts!
We're not going to get a basket from either of them if they don't stop,
That's it,
The Basket Bunker 2000!
-It can hold anything, -It can hold anything,
-Yoo-hoo! -Huh?
Hey, who turned out the lights?
I'm afraid of the dark,
Me too,
We did it,
We built a trap,
Let us out of here!
Only if you promise to stop fighting,
And give us our basket,
-Fine, -We promise,
We got our basket!
Another long day without food,
It's really awful being an apex predator,
-If you're hungry, have a cookie, -Why, I would love to,
They're becoming friends,
Bad Wolfie,
Naughty me,
Well, maybe just frenemies,
Come on, brothers,
We've got potatoes to get home,
Our basket! Catch it!
Come back! We need you!
Our potatoes!