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-Good morning, -Morning,
Morning,
Follow me,
Stepan Kindratiyovych, what's wrong?
Nothing, Liuda,
I just feel a little dizzy and my butt is burning,
Did you fall asleep on the beach?
On the beach, Liuda?
I'd be lucky not to end up in jail,
There will be a search now, A search,
Take your necklace off,
Should we put all this away?
No, let's leave it as it is,
And when they ask me where it came from,
I'll say I got it for singing carols,
And if they ask who you are,
I'll say you are a ghost of Christmas,
But I am not a ghost,
They will guess that, Liuda,
Come on!
Come on, take off your jewelry, Here,
OK, but why?
Because you have a minimal salary,
-What? -What? I'll tell you,
Enough to live but not to smile,
Open the door, Police,
Is it locked? Open it!
Take up positions,
Break the door,
Let's come in,
Hurry, you guys,
Once again,
Come on, come on,
Break the door,
You two, come here,
Block all the exits,
Come in!
-Come on, hurry! -All clear,
Hello, hello,
We are washing the windows here,
To save the budget, I have a helper, too,
She has a minimal salary,
Enough to live but not to smile,
Stop playing fool,
A clown,
-Oh, Homyak, -What?
Your black ledgers
will put you in jail for 25 years,
What?
What are you doing?
-Who, me? -Who else?
-Stop! -No way!
Get him!
They can pass,
Cover the whole area,
Write down all the license plates' numbers,
Search over there,
If the journalists come, report to me,
Is it clear?
Don't tell me you forgot the driver's license,
Don't worry, I wouldn't tell you even if I forgot it,
Will you pay a fine with your sense of humor?
-I'll pay with you, -Very funny,
Your documents, please,
Just a moment,
Here,
-Oh God… -Finally,
Oh! I am sorry, Just a sec,
I am sorry,
-Freeze! -OK,
-I must see your hands! -Here,
-On your knees! -Or freeze?
Shut up! On your knees! Hands behind your back!
Hands behind your back!
Come on, shoot,
What are you waiting for?
You see what a deadly threat is in front of you,
A fanatic terrorist,
He has two bombs on the back seat, See?
Come on, shoot and save me,
As I've been living with this Stockholm syndrome for 20 years,
What did you mean to say now?
Nothing,
Oh, and be careful, Mr, Bandmaster, or you will never hear Glinka again,
Are they your parents?
-Spiritually or biologically? -What?
Do you mean de jure or de facto?
Their parents for sure,
I see, Here,
Now listen…
Here is my card,
If you see this man,
you must call me right away,
He is a jerk and an embezzler,
He steals ice cream from kids, too,
Going to the countryside?
Yes, Barbecue, beer and drunken fights,
It's a joke,
We are just going to celebrate the defense of my thesis,
We want to get away from the city noise,
Everything's fine,
Follow me,
-You may pass, -Can I get up?
-Come on! -I am so sorry,
Hey, guys, what is the fastest way?
The drinks are waiting, you know, and the meat is getting cold,
Do you understand?
I don't get it, Why are you on the wrong lane?
What? Raia, did you hear that? We are on the wrong lane,
-Don't you see? -I didn't see it,
We'll deal with it,
Why the smoke? Is something burning?
No, We just wanted to smoke hookah,
Too bitter, Raia, Can you change the coals?
-All right, -Give me the hookah, Dad,
No way, Stop fooling around,
You're too young,
I don't understand… Smoking hookah in the car with your kids?
Oh, it's OK,
The hookah's with milk,
We are all going to have a barbecue at the meadow,
So we took some stuff along,
We have a grocery shop in the village,
So we can afford it, OK?
Can you open the trunk?
I told you we had a shop,
Oh dear, Were you going to spend a week at the countryside, or what?
Just a day, We have work tomorrow,
Did you take a look?
Have a safe trip,
You too,
Misha, let them pass,
Is your shop called "Golden Tilie"?
No, Our small shop has a humble name,
"Nalyvaichenkoff,"
And this is serious,
It's not "Tilie", It's "Golden Tile,"
Our ceramic tile,
That "Italiano vero" is poor quality, you know,
Tolia is sure of it,
because he is an official distributor and a good businessman,
Good luck,
Mister! There is an obstacle on the right,
Tell me about it,
Oh Raia,
"How could you forget?"
Oh, come on,
"What should I dip up the meat juice with?"
"With my finger?"
Great thighs,
I could eat them,
And the breast…
Can I touch it?
I don't get it… Do you think you're immortal?
-What's wrong? -Talking about the breasts in front of me!
Well, well!
Do you mean I can't even look at someone else's chicken?
We marinate the meat, too, We also have ready-to-eat food,
I am sorry,
Denis!
Yes!
Oh, I am sorry,
Watch where you are going,
Georgia is a great country, Fantastic people and nature,
I'll drop in on my way back,
Excuse me, can I ask…?
This water costs 10 UAH separately, right?
And this yoghurt – 20 UAH,
But together, as a promotion pack, they are 40 UAH,
So?
Doesn't this math bother you?
What takes you so long?
Why are you asking us? You better ask that jerk,
Or those in front of him,
Do you have paper bags for groceries?
No, we don't,
A paper bag is a bulletproof vest for an ecologist,
I see,
There are problems with consciousness, not just with math,
Here are your 40 UAH,
-You gave me 30, -Prove it,
Here's the proof,
If you are a slow poke, you can get your ass kicked, got it?
We were standing here, you know,
You will lie down, then,
Can I…?
What are you…?
Wear it with love, It's a gift, Why are you staring at me?
Hold your hands up to catch your eyes,
Could you please cover your shot-gun?
You've spat all over my windshield,
Tolia, calm down, leave him alone so he will shut up,
We won't stoop to the level
of these ignorant fools as we don't want to be like them,
Who did you just call a fool?
Security!
Oh, no need to,
-We're leaving, -Come on, get out,
You better stay away from me, got it?
Stepan Kindratovych, how did you lie there?
I really don't want to go to jail,
Why are you staring? Get me out of here, See? I'm stuck,
OK,
let's go,
I am not taking you further,
Have you gone mad? You are my driver,
I don't work for you anymore,
Besides, I need… to take Gran to the party, okay?
I also want to the party, We had a deal, Take me there,
Yes, we did, I promised to take you out of the city,
So give me my money… And bye-bye,
Gena, yo!
I've got no money,
That lady really needs to be at the party,
I have money… Over there, behind the woods,
So do a right thing, Ukrainian,
and choose Homyak,
You can't buy the Ukrainian's vote,
But if you pay 2000 USD,
you can rent it,
You're so cunning,
Just like you,
BYRON
I miss him, It's been two years,
Well, we've honored his memory,
We can't bring him back so we must move on,
-Let's have some rest, -Yes,
Zhenia!
What is it?
My congratulations on defending your thesis, love,
I am jealous of the academicians
who could listen to your beautiful soprano during the defending,
You are the best,
So, Mr, Bandmaster, did you sign up for the world complimenting championship?
Or the fawning one?
Thanks,
So nice, Peace, serenity and our meadow,
This is my place of power,
So, kids, what are your plans?
I'll draw a poster for the environmentalists' protest act,
The planet shouts: save the lives, sort the trash,
My smart girl,
What a great idea,
And I'll watch football on the field,
In the field,
Shakhtar's jubilee match, There will be a concert of some star, too,
Maybe we should go to the stadium?
When you become a politician, you can invite everyone to the stadium,
-That one was funny, -Yeah,
Well, the Dragomanovs, enjoy this day,
Because it's our day,
Liza, come here,
Verdi's Requiem,
The end of the civilization,
We are surrounded by cavemen,
Now they will eat a mammoth and start mating in public,
Zhenia!
What are you doing?
You are driving,
I am resting,
I know what you will tell me…
"We forgot the mayo, Drive to the shop", etc,
If a single candy wrap is dropped in this nature's virgin land,
they won't live long enough to mate,
-Good job, -Look who's here,
The jerks from the gas station, huh?
Ho…
Holy cow,
What a surprise,
They have taken our meadow,
They could only take a toilet seat,
It's our meadow, Let's get out,
They'll get lost themselves,
Tolia!
What?
Where did we put the food?
Come on, Raia!
You always know where the food is,
Oh, silly,
The nature, finally,
Hey, wait,
Where are you taking the fireworks?
I want to set them off, Dad,
You'll do it when it gets dark,
Everyone must see
our family is having fun, Huh?
It's just a chance to find another place,
What? I don't get it, Hold this,
Another place? On such a day? What are you saying?
Zhenia, aren't you tired of constantly looking for another place?
We can't keep the chorus, Their death rate is too high,
But they sing like…
Like it's their last time,
Yeah, exactly,
You must find another place,
You are right, Tania, It's time to bare my teeth,
Mom! I think you went a bit too far,
Did you also notice it?
Why are you pottering around? Come on, hurry, One, two,
OK, go wake the lady up, I don't think it'll work,
Can you help me?
What? Who? Me?
Yes…
Gena, I have two working tools,
I am using one to speak to you, and the other…
You know, I am allergic to manual labor,
Oh… Just look at him, Blah-blah-blah,
You've never talked so much before,
Watch and learn,
We'll walk from here,
Come on, let's go,
You can walk, We'll ride,
But if you give me that gold watch of yours,
I might stay for an hour or two,
You can choke on it,
Come on, Don't wake the old lady up,
Old people sleep a lot,
It's a rehearsal,
My hunting lodge is not far from here,
Damn it, Valeriy Ivanovych,
We've finally got a real case, Homyak, a corrupted runaway official,
We could become heroes,
But we are going to the lake!
We must go to the highway to catch him,
Grisha! He is not a whore to stand on the highway,
He flew away already,
He's spending the embezzled money in the Maldives now,
We have more important things to do,
Like what?
Like barbecue, Grisha,
Hot juicy meat,
-But who will give it to us? -Someone who doesn't want problems,
Take the case from the back seat,
Pick anything you want,
my young gastroinspector,
Oh, damn it,
You know, Valeriy Ivanovych,
there're dogs trained to find drugs,
You're a cop,
trained to find meat,
You must buckle up, Grisha,
Got you,
I am sorry, sir,
Friday radio,
There's always Friday here,
Mister, I am asking you
to resolve this awkward situation
and find another place for rest,
How do you like this, Mr, Awkward?
I am on my land, okay?
Hey, I don't care what your names are, but the truth is simple,
We came here first, is all,
-Hey, you wretch! -Keep the distance, please,
You should keep it, One or two kilometers,
-It'll be just fine, -At the least,
I won't let the barbarians near our dog's grave,
If you don't leave, I'll bury you here too, got it?
Shut up, you lowlife,
Threatening a child is so nasty,
What did you say?
What a miserable nerd,
Should I give you a reason to get out of here?
Like what?
-Zhenia! -Give it to me!
Hit him, Dad,
All right, guys, the show's over,
But not too hard, He's easier to kill than a rabbit,
Well…
A mass brawl, Not good,
So, what's going on here?
Well, we…
Pack them, officer,
We came here to rest, To relax,
And these perverts were planning an orgy,
Oh no, officer, let me explain what really happened,
-They came to our meadow, -Oh really?
-Our meadow, -Are you serious?
So they came here, these rude people,
and tried to make us leave,
-Threatened us, -Who threatened you?
You, with your reason,
What reason? It's for massage,
We must arrest them,
My wife likes it, Raia!
I do!
Have you seen anyone suspicious?
Have we? We sure have,
And we are seeing them now, Here, look,
-A very suspicious family, -Very,
I won't be surprised to know all of them have criminal records,
-What? -You should check these people, too,
I am not sure the kids are theirs,
What? They are our kids,
Stop it! Quiet!
We must arrest all this barbecue team,
Why? We are good people,
Easy, easy,
Please… Get in the carriage,
Pack in like sardines,
Wait, Why are you arresting us?
Why? We are good people,
-Absolutely, -We came here to rest,
We are everyone-friendly,
-To make a barbecue, -Yes,
And wings, too,
And wings,
-Barbecue? -Yes,
It's a different story,
Pork or veal?
What's the marinade? Milk or beer?
Let us taste,
Grisha, lower the gun, They are good people, don't you see?
Yeah, but… We didn't cook it yet, you know,
We need more time,
-It just happened so, -More time, okay?,
A bit too early,
-Sweet chili? -Yes,
I like piquant tastes more,
When I see a piquant chick,
my legs start trembling,
Come on, then, Start the fire and get the meat ready,
-And don't fool around, got it? -Yes,
I'll come back to check on you,
Come on, Grisha,
Have a nice day,
Bye-bye,
Oh, what a hunting lodge!
I worked hard to afford it,
When the cops come, there will be a lot to show them,
If the cops come here to look for me,
I won't care less,
The house is not mine on paper,
A chick reliable as a Swiss bank
You can put her name down even for a tank
All your homes and money you've earned
Give it to your lover so it's not seized by court
Where did you hide all the money?
Do you see that meadow?
-And the barbecue people? -Yes,
-And now to the left, -To the left, okay,
-A haystack, See? -Yeah,
-It's there! -So?
How can I do it?
Sorry, don't mind us, just let us take 1 000 000 USD
and the documents?
All this money in the hay?
Yes! Right!
Would you even look there?
-No, -Exactly,
But we can't… We can't go there now,
It won't work,
We had a deal, You take the money
and I get you out of here,
I might think how to take it,
Your golden necklace would help,
Why are you sitting there?
The meat won't cook itself,
And you, my girl,
must learn to smile,
or I will put you in the field instead of my shop,
You'll be a scarecrow,
Let's pour some gas over them and burn,
What are you saying?
-Don't you know how expensive the gas is? -I am sick of you, The family of freaks,
I was kidding,
You can scare out the drunkards in my shop,
-Hey, Tolia! -What?
Are we going to stay with them here?
Or maybe you fell for that chick, huh?
-That skin-and-bones? -Yeah,
Why would I want her?
I have you,
Meat, And lard, And bacon, too,
Oh God,
All right,
these big city folks will get out of here themselves,
I'd rather share the meat with the cops than the meadow with them,
Tania, don't wind up,
I am silent,
Your silence is loud,
If you are right-handed and want to attack someone with a knife,
take it in your left hand,
Then it'll be harder for the cops to define you as an attacker,
It's okay…
Sit on the bank of the river
and you'll see your enemy's corpse floating by,
So I'll wait,
OK…
It's quiet here like at the cemetery,
You're spoiling me, sir,
It's okay, I'll spoil myself, too,
And I'll start right now,
Want a drink?
Though I don't think I must waste the elite cognac,
as only the real gourmands can see the value of its bouquet,
I know how I'll spend your money!
On chicks and clap?
Nope, it's not cool,
I can tell by your looks,
I'll record my own studio album,
Then I'll take it to Potap,
He'll see me and say: "Yo, kid, I've been waiting for you,"
Then he'll take my hand and send me straight to show business,
Then I'll have money…
And clap, too,,
Go,
Leave right now…
Denis!
Why aren't you laughing? Your family is having fun,
Got any problems?
Except for your family?
We have a common problem, then,
I'll be right back,
Raia!
Give me the beer,
My beer!
I see your mood is not too good,
So I thought a selfie in the woods would make it a bit better,
Maybe an erotic one, which I really hope to see,
You'll need this gadget for that,
Are you really such a moron? Give it back,
You know, you're right, I'm a moron,
So I'll put it back on the bench, Take it yourself,
Are you crazy? Give me my phone,
-I am a moron, I do what I want, -Give it back!
Catch me,
Wait!
A pit!
Tolia, what have you been thinking?
-Don't start, -I haven't started yet,
Pa, look what I found,
Hey, kiddo! I'll slap you silly if you touch my wallet again,
-Got it? -I really found it, Next to the haystack,
Maybe our neighbors lost it?
Do you think they have money?
You are a bread-winner, son,
Just like your Pa,
Dear picnickers,
I am a forest ranger and this is a preserved area,
You can't have picnics here,
The moose have a mating period
and you're disturbing them,
so find another place or you will be fined,
-No, we'll leave, -We'll leave,
Please don't fine us,
We respect the animals,
We spent a whole day next to some of them,
We have no moral right to stay,
People can be a threat, Don't get on the moose's nerves!
Don't mind her, She's not baptized,
You know, today we realized there were enough moose in the world,
-Let's go, Zhenia, -Hey, ranger, What's your name?
Edik,
-Edward Zavgorodny, the forest ranger, -Edik, right?
You might've been teased at school,
Well, you know, Edik, there are good people in this world,
I see,
Edik, please let us stay, We'll leave in the evening,
We'll continue at home,
What's that?
And this is…
For the moose's food,
Edik…
For the moose,
You know,
you have a good heart,
Thanks, you too,
-What's your name? -Tolia,
The first moose born here will be named Tolia,
Oh, no need to,
All right, Tolia, buddy…
Have fun and go home, okay?
See you tonight,
No, it's too late, The moose would be dead by then,
So make it quick, Yum-yum and bye-bye, OK?
Gulp-gulp, too, OK, See you tonight,
All right,
the matter is settled,
Now we'll have a good rest without the sour-faced neighbors,
My man is the best,
-Oh, come on, -Unlike the rest,
-I want a firework, -Wait,
I told you to do it later,
They can think it's a farewell to them,
Zhenia, come here,
Let's drink our special liquor to the Nalyvaichenkos
who… achieve everything,
Give me the glasses,
Zhenia, look over there, What do you see?
What are they waiting for?
Easy,
They are just taking off to leave quickly,
Nothing,
Right, Zhenia, Nothing,
But that nothing is sitting there right now
giving us nasty looks,
Scornful, too,
I found a mine,
Yuck, Take it away,
-The lowlifes, -Exactly,
Well, wait…
Hey, kiddo!
Great job,
-You know what we'll do? -He gave the money to the ranger,
Bribed a public employee,
How miserable,
And what does it mean?
What?
It means they are the winners,
and we are back to "another place" mark again,
My Grandma is there,
She is an orphan now!
An hour or till the evening?
An hour,
Or till the evening,
I have a flight, you dork,
You were rapping, huh?
-You will pray now, -Oh, come on,
By myself,
All by myself,
Isn't it unfair?
But if you give me your two gold rings,
I'll make them leave faster,
Rings?
Wait, you jerk, Stop! I told you to stop!
Tania, don't get so upset,
We'll find a better meadow and it will become ours,
Misha Galat found a new job,
-Really? -I did it,
Great job,
Easy, No experiments,
Look what I found in their car,
A card,
I wonder who that pansy is, Maybe a piano tuner,
What?
He is…
A cop?
Evgen Scherbina, the head of the department of preventing…
and detecting… corruption,
Why didn't he say anything when they arrested us?
He was waiting,
For them to ask for a bribe or for us to offer it,
He wanted to catch us all,
I don't understand…
Why didn't he settle the matter with the ranger?
Isn't it clear?
He is a righteous one,
No bribes, everything by law, you know,
I'll be damned,
Listen,
-To hell with him, What can he do? -Well, dear, there's no cash register…
in our shop,
People like him… What we have here…
That's it,
We'll go to jail,
I don't want to go to jail,
A jail? What are you saying?
Hush!
Don't overreact,
Come on, Just a little bit more,
No rush,
What are you looking at? Eyes off,
Take your eyes off!
What a weakling,
Help!
Help us!
We are here!
Damn…
Your parents are our only hope,
Mine will remember about me
only when it's time to clean off the table and go home,
THE FOREST MUSEUM WILL BE HERE, I GUARANTEE! STEPAN HOMYAK,
Look at this present, I wonder who did it,
Think it over, Zhenia,
I doubt a cow decided to sit in our car for a while,
I'd like to hear the expert's thoughts about this poop,
Holy moly…
I guess the car is rigged,
It can…explode,
It's…
Who did it?
Denis, what have you done?
What? You told me to!
Don't talk back,
OK, you're punished, Go stand in the corner,
What corner? We are outdoors,
So I see that you have enough imagination
to plant the poop in those people's car,
Come on! Did you hear me?
These kids…
I am sorry for what happened, I mean…
We had a bad start, really,
Raia's been nagging me all day,
"Let's treat our neighbors, Let's treat them,"
Sorry,
Maybe we should sit at the table? To talk,
To get to know each other,
-Are you serious? -Yes,
-You know what? -What?
I spent six years writing my thesis
hoping not to meet people like you ever again in my life,
Please, don't take offence, I…
I came to apologize, What's wrong?
We see you are good people
but your picnic is quite bad,
Please join us, We'll make a great barbecue,
I'll treat you to homemade liquor, It's so good,
Everything will be fantastic, Please come,
So, are we leaving or staying? What about the moose?
That's what I was thinking, too,
Sometimes alcohol can turn people into animals, but this case is different,
They are ill-mannered,
Bribers, too,
But wouldn't it be rude
to treat their invitation with disrespect?
Mr, Bandmaster, are you drunk?
The smell is great,
Yes,
It's cooking very quickly, It takes me longer to put it here,
Ready in no time,
Let's introduce ourselves,
I am Tolia,
-Nice to meet you, -Evgen,
So, it's Zheka, right?
It's Evgen,
Let it be Evgen, As you say, Zheka,
Try it,
Oh no, thanks, There are many parasites in raw pork,
Come on, We'll have a drink for the disinfection,
so you'll be fine,
I have to refuse,
I can drink alcohol, but not disinfectant,
Oh, I see, you are a big man,
You only drink good cognac,
I get it, I wouldn't lower the bar, too,
I am serious,
I am not a simple man, either,
I can do stuff,
OK? Look, Poof!
Maybe…
You shouldn't…
Hey, what do you want?
Don't mind me, I'll take some hay for my cow,
We've eaten your cow, old man,
Do you need help?
No, I'll manage, I am quite fit,
If you give me a nice old lady…
You won't drag me away from her,
He looks familiar,
Here,
Looks impressive,
I see you have a puzzle here, "Put the pig together," huh?
Do you work in food industry?
It's hard to hide anything from you,
You see everything, Great job,
Yes, we have a shop in the village,
Meat, sausages and stuff,
Interesting,
But a person with your metabolism should keep a vegetable shop,
I can also hit a goat's eye from any distance,
Killing animals for fun
is a sign of sociopathy and endless dumbness,
-You are dumb yourself, Look, -No!
And you…
What… What's your job?
Well, I'm teaching cultural science in college,
Thanks,
What is it?
-It just… -Squeezed?
-A little, -Aging is no fun, Let me help you,
-No need to, -It'll be all right,
You are too busy with your job to take care of your health,
Great, huh? Cool,
-Listen… -What?
I wanted to ask…
-Huh? What? -Has there been a shooting? At your work?
An uncomfortable question,
Well, it happens sometimes, When they sing high notes…
That's how it starts,
Notes?
Yes, they sing in the choir,
But they are old people, so it happens when they strain,
But I treat them with understanding,
Wait,
Do you mean
you are not Scherbina?
I am Evgen Evgenovich Dragomanov,
Did he also give you his card?
Tolia, you can't even imagine what a nice lady Tania is,
Stop being nice,
Do you know that this pansy
is not really a cop?
Plastic is the enemy of the planet,
Kill the plastic, save the planet, Fire!
Cool,
Great, You water the grass, too,
Great shot, I'll go find some more bags,
Great job, caveman,
Do something, Gena, Blow on it,
No way,
Are you squeamish?
Oh, what a pig,
Gena, I'm finished,
Stepan Kindratiyovych, it's Liuda,
The cops have found your house,
I am a PhD and I'm stuck here with people like you,
And I hate being here with…
What?
With a person like you,
Great, We'll be happy
if you decide to stay away from our territory,
And your odors, too,
Cover your nose and shut your mouth, Got it?
And open your eyes,
I doubt you see where your territory is,
Just a sec,
It's for you,
Shooting Homyak! I'll show you,
Where is it?
-Your moustache came off, -What?
What are you doing?!
Hands off!
Look what I can do,
What are you doing, you moron? It's loaded,
You jerk!
27, 28, 29…
No way,
The middle of the meadow is 1,5 meters further,
So you must
reset you drunkmeter and move the border,
My calculations are exact,
So you better wipe your glasses and step back, okay?
Zhenia, don't,
It's useless to discuss it with an ape,
-What? -We'll just draw our line, is all,
We won't see you anymore,
-This wish is mutual, -Right,
Thank God,
Shut your mouthmeter too, okay?
-The border, -The mouthmeter,
-We rush into the meadow, -OK,
No shooting,
-Just the show of force, -OK,
Then we must yell we don't care about women or kids,
-OK, -We pack everyone,
Then go to the haystack, take a gift from our Lord
and go back to the car,
-OK? Fast as cheetahs, -OK,
-OK, Gena, -Can you move so fast?
I'll beat you up!
Damn…
Tolia, I really hope
you're choosing a coffin
for that wretch from your shop whom I kicked out,
I'm choosing an irrigation system
to water the apple tree, under which I'll bury that nerd
if he dares set his foot on our territory,
Hey!
It's not a dump site,
Yes!
Here, Dad,
Come here, now!
No, no, stop,
-We want negotiations, -What? Negotiations? We're in the nature,
The animal law is working here,
-The strongest one is right, Yes? -Yes,
Sorry,
The messengers of peace are sacred,
Let's settle the matter in a civilized way,
Hey you, messengers! Will you call a lawyer here, too?
Listen, what's your name… Raisa!
Before our husbands start beating each other up,
let's solve the problem wisely,
Well, let's,
See that goat?
Yes, why?
-One teat is yours, the other is mine, -What?
Who gets the most milk, gets the meadow, OK?
Well, it doesn't sound like the most civilized decision, but…
OK, one teat is yours, one is mine,
Come on,
Even goats run away from you,
Hey you, Mozart-schmozart,
here's what we'll do,
Cool T-shirt, It looks familiar,
Thanks for helping us to get out,
We stopped as our engine overheated,
Show me your engine and I'll kiss it,
You are wearing the uniform, Want to go with us?
We have a new player,
Come on, try to drive a ball into my net,
So?
It's the game of my life,
Go,
Well… Come on,
Your new battery-powered vacuum cleaner…
Or my gas-fueled classic variant?
The loser gets out of my meadow,
Did you chicken out, Mr, Bandmaster?
Don't you think it's enough?
You will lose,
Why all this bravado? Maybe we should find another place?
No,
This is my place,
Kick his ass, then,
Let's start,
Come on, Zhenia!
Come on!
Speed up!
Goal!
Yes!
The other way!
The simple Ukrainian voters know how to have fun,
That's why I am leaving,
Let's go,
No!
Oh my God, Let's call an ambulance,
Give way, I attended the first aid courses,
-So? -Nothing, They are dead,
That's all your help?
I only went to one class,
-We have to call the police, -Yes,
Go ahead, We did it together, so you are an accomplice, Got it?
-You think so? -Don't you?
-I can't prove… -Exactly,
What should we do?
Zhenia! We'll go to jail,
What should we do?
They won't take me alive,
Be quiet,
The hay!
I swear, you will love it,
The recipe is a real bomb,
How did I pass the police exams without cooking skills?
What? What should we do?
I don't know, Why did you do it?
Oh, you are here again, huh?
We are happy to greet the police officers who protect our peaceful life,
I see you already had a few drinks,
Wanted to have fun, huh?
Zhenia, come here,
Behave even when you drink,
See?
-Mutual understanding is our new motto, -Yes,
We are a company of friends now,
We decided to run a business together,
Let me show you,
Zhenia is quite talkative,
He'll be a distributor of "Golden Tile" products,
-Right, -After he studies the catalogue,
He'll talk everyone into buying,
He can do it,
We'll make big money,
I feel you're trying to pull the wool over my eyes,
Why is this meadow divided in two halves?
Where?
Oh, that, Well, it was…
It was Raia, Yes,
She brought her raggery
and hung here to give it an airing,
And get rid of the bedbugs,
Yes… It was me,
That woman is like a monkey with jingles,
She does silly things,
-This silence is like… -What?
Oh, we are mature people,
Why would we divide the meadow?
-Nonsense, -Right,
The great smell led us here,
The barbecue smells divine,
-Treat yourself, -Sure,
-Sure thing, -Come on…
-Right, -Sit down, please,
Just a sec,
Please, take a seat, Don't be shy,
It'll be a pity if such a handsome man doesn't sit with us,
Right, Grisha, You should watch and learn
or you'll be a side dish all your life,
A side dish,
-So funny, -Oh my…
-Joke of the year, -So?
Come on,
-Like this? -No,
It's okay,
Want a pepper?
Why are you sweeping the fields?
We're looking for Homyak,
He's on a wanted list for corruption,
Here, Just in case,
The elections, again?
It was an agitprop last year, Now it's a search bulletin,
That's how life is, Today you are a steak
and tomorrow – a rotten cabbage,
I am sorry but the meat has burned while we…
While we were looking for the mushrooms,
Well…
It won't work,
I'll take the barbecue into the strong hands of justice,
Forget about Homyak, Let's do some shopping,
I am going to buy a grill
and cook the meat myself,
Great idea, We didn't succeed, as you see,
All right, bye,
Yes,
Valeriy Ivanovych!
They are acting a bit… weird,
I don't want to see them again,
Hello,
-Hello, -Hello,
I am not a physiognomist but…
And now?
That's him,
What are you doing? Get lost,
Oh, holy moly,
So we have hit a criminal?
A corruptor,
Maybe we'll get an award, huh?
Well, if I were you, I wouldn't think about it,
I'd learn some necessary phrases,
I mean prison slang,
You wanted a picnic without us? Here you go, The meadow's yours,
We are leaving, Raia, get ready, Kids!
Where's Mariana?
And where is our Yaroslav?
No! I can't even think about it!
-Yaroslav! -Yarik!
-Mariana! -Mariana!
Go!
These corruptionists… They don't burn and don't drown!
Like poop,
Easy, easy,
-There are two of us, -What is it?
-Where's my money? -What?
The case couldn't burn so fast, So where's my money?!
-Lower the gun, -We know nothing,
-What money? -No idea,
Come here,
Come here!
Liza!
-Stay put! -What are you doing?
Wait! Shoot me, but let the kid go!
-Step back! -Let the kid go, please,
Shut up!
I am very sorry,
but don't you think that if they found 1 000 000 USD here…
Go on,
…they wouldn't be here by now?
-Yes, that's right, How could… -Liza!
A million? We… A million…
Take the brat!
-I'll kill you… -No! Don't,
I told you to take him!
-That's too much, -Yes, that's too much,
Sorry, kid,
-Don't do it, -Be quiet,
-Stop! -Lower the gun,
-Please… Denis! -Be quiet!
You're making a mistake,
-It'll only make it worse, -Now listen,
There's a hunting lodge in the woods,
We'll wait for you there, In an hour, with the money,
A minute later, a dollar less…
A single cop here, and I'll shoot everyone!
-No! -The clock's ticking,
Let the kids go, We know nothing,
-Come on, -Denis!
-Take us instead, -Freeze!
-Denis! -Freeze!
-All this for the money… -Don't worry, Denis,
Listen,,
Denis found 100 USD here today,
I'd beat that Homyak to death,
-Would you? -Sure,
-Would you? -I would,
So go and do it,
Where?
Where is the tough guy I keep hearing about?
Where was he when some jerk took his kid away?
Where is a guy who will do something now?
He's not here,
I don't really count on you,
OK, wait,
What if your Denis found more money?
No,
I don't know about your kids, but he'd bring it to the family,
If our Liza found it, there'd be one place
where she would take it,
No way,
Grisha!
OK, buddy, there is a grill with the motor
which makes the skewers rotate,
Let's get to work,
Go ahead, Mr, Nerd,
Why me?
Because I raise my son as a breadwinner,
Take it if you can,
And your Liza caused this Greenpeace, So go,
I don't get it, Are you raising another Homyak?
Come on,
Start from your family and save Ukraine,
Come on,
So?
Yes!
-Come on, -Great,
What, it doesn't open? Locked? Really?
OK, let's go home then, Come on,
Open the door on the right, Brace yourself,
-Come on, pull it, -Hurry,
What is it? Try the next one, Why do you live with him?
Yes! Yes!
-Finally, -Did you see?
-Zhenia! -Quiet!
I'm all sweaty,
Thanks for the details,
Zhenia, run!
Hello there,
-Yes, -What are you doing?
I won't visit you in jail!
Sorry,
Stop! Stop, you jerk!
Our car was stolen, sir!
Valeriy Ivanovych! Let's take this one,
What are you doing? Sit,
I can't see anything,
-What? -What is it?
-Stop, What are you doing? -Buckling you up,
Slower, Don't pull,
OK, come on,
Careful,
Holy cow!
-What? -We must escape,
Quiet,
What should we do now, sir?
They ruined my barbecue day, We'll take them alive,
What do we do?
What? We must shoot,
Shoot? With what? How?
With short bursts, Like I'm shooting in the seat,
Shoot the wheels!
Right, sir, Shoot!
Hey, why did you stop?
God, you're so dumb,
To cover the tracks, We'll walk from here,
Sure, You're right,
What's that for?
When they find a car, they'll look for the cap, not for us,
I'm alive,
How are you, sir?
Grisha,
when I retire,
I will get a dog,
Right?
Good boy,
The city is blocked so we must detour,
We've never been here,
Roma, stop the car, I can't wait, I really need to…
The gas station is close, We'll stop there,
It'll be the third one,
Stop the car,
-Thank God, -The fresh air!
Sure, Mom, it's not like in Kyiv,
-Dima, what are you going to do? -Pee,
Go over there, Pull the shorts up,
Romanovska! I'll fire you, damn it,
Hey! Boys to the right, girls to the left,
-OK, -And we must make a business call,
No, no, Not there,
Careful, The hedgehogs! Mom! Haven't seen them for ages,
Come on,
You didn't answer, Mom… Will you go for Tik-Tok or Instagram?
What are you saying?
You better rehearse your new song, okay?
No need to, I know the words,
Go to that tree, Mom, Wi-Fi is better there,
-Dima, darling! -Huh?
Come take a picture of Mom,
Don't you dare!!
-Make a story, -Dima!
-We'll post the stories now, -Dima!
Can you send him back to the bus?
Dima, why are you listening when the adults talk? Go back,
Do your thing,
So I was telling you…
They found a lady in the woods, Dead, of course,
In pink sneakers, handcuffed,
-Do you have to tell it in the woods? -Sit,
And the most interesting thing is… There were two killers,
One is tall, looking like a German, in a fedora hat,
The other one is cute and chubby,
And the most curious detail…
Oh! He was wearing a police cap,
-No! Don't! -They are not here!
Who are you scared of? Oh God,
We must wait for our men,
I hope we won't have to wait for ten years,
We must look,
Quiet,
I'll be quiet as a cat,
Your cat eats too much,
Hush, you mouse,
Follow me,
Oh, I am all sweaty,
Spare me the details, please,
So?
Is he gone or what?
-Denis! -Liza!
Mommy's here!
I'm sorry for what happened,
-It's okay, -Sorry,
-I nearly had a heart attack, -Sorry for yelling at you,
-Did you write the number down? -Of course,
Bye, guys, We must go now, Oh, if it wasn't for the concert…
Come on, Mom,
-I'll take this, -What an adventure, Come on,
Bye, girls,
Women…
Women!
See Serdiuchka and die,
I told you not to bring the cops,
Parents!
Listen…
What if we run away?
What?
Right, The kids,
Listen…
Let's just save them and keep the money, huh?
Where is my money?!
Hey, you jerk!
Here it is!
He doesn't answer,
I see nothing,
Hey! Come on, run,
Darling! Liza!
It's okay, Are you all right? Are you hurt?
-What happened? -Where is he?
Did he run away?
Yeah, right,
Sit down or I'll shoot,
Come on, Gena, take the money,
What kind of people are you?
Haven't you been taught that you shouldn't steal the state money?
Gena, what takes you so long? Come on,
Come on, Gena,
Tania! You've got…
-You've got blood, -Yes, I fell down,
Oh, you…
Zhenia!
Shakhtar is a champion,
Zhenia…
Let me go, I'll give the money back,
It was Gena's idea, Where is he?
You said you didn't count on me,
Yes, Sorry,
You know,
we've met Serdiuchka,
I have her number now, Can you imagine?
-Calm down, You've been hit hard, -I am serious,
It's true,
It was over there,
Her star was this big,
-Really? -Yes,
What did you do?
Well, the situation was not good,
We talked for a while, Apologized and stuff,
Didn't you ask anything for me?
Raia,
I saved everyone's life, okay?
Is it not enough?
Come on,
No, it's not enough,
I don't need much, really, Your attention,
love and care, is all,
And not just, "Raia, move your ass and give me the remote,"
I love you, okay?
I love you,
And I don't love you,
That's it, Grisha,
Here is the state money stolen from the taxpayers,
What a good girl,
I must clear something out,
I found the money in the hay,
-The caveman's a witness, -That's true,
So de jure it's a treasure,
The law says we have a right
to get 30% of the value of the treasure found by us,
And smart, too,
Great job,
No torn bank notes, No change, too, We'll share it ourselves,
Everyone gets the share, The caveman, too,
All right,
I'm on my way, Potap, I'll just take Gran to the party,
300 000,
Liza, sweetie, you can call me Mom, too,
It's too much, Don't you dare,
Tolia! Let me hold it before we start sharing,
Where's Tolia?
Mom!
He's not here,
Not here? He has the money, He sure couldn't…
Well, he could,
Are you sure?
Come on, Raia, Do you think he ran away?
He offered me that, too,
Come on, Mom,
It's okay, baby,
You know, when love isn't mutual,
it's not love,
What is it?
Tolia…
-What is it? -Where's the money?
Here,
But I've spent some of it,
I had to save my marriage,
Everything's ready!
One, one, one, one, two, three,
Raia, darling, this song is for you,
For me?
Oh Tolia…
How can it be?
Listen, you guys! We have a great company here,
and we are not poor, too…
Maybe we should go on vacation together?
Let's go to Paris,
Egypt is better, really, It's a great place,
Maybe…
Let's go to Paris,
We don't need to…
-We're going to Berdyansk, -Yes, it's better,
UNFORTUNATELY, THIS TRIP HAD… TO BE POSTPONED
THE NATIONAL RELEASE OF OUR FILM WAS PLANNED FOR FEBRUARY 24TH, 2022
BUT SINCE FEBRUARY 24TH, INSTEAD OF SETS OF APPLAUSE,
PACKED CINEMAS AND THE AUDIENCE'S LAUGHS,
OUR CAST AND CREW GOT THE NEW ROLES…
THE TERRITORIAL DEFENSE
TEMPORARILY MOVED ABROAD
VOLUNTEERING, DOING SOCIAL AND CHARITY WORK
STAYED IN KYIV,
VOLUNTEERING AND DOING SOCIAL WORK
GARIK BIRCHA SCRIPTWRITER, AUTHOR OF THE IDEA
JOINED THE UKRAINIAN ARMED FORCES
THE FILM CREW:
THREE PEOPLE ARE IN THE ARMED FORCES, TERRITORIAL DEFENSE AND PATROL FORCE
TWO PEOPLE ARE WAR CORRESPONDENTS
TEN PEOPLE ARE VOLUNTEERS
TWELVE PEOPLE ARE TEMPORARILY ABROAD
SEVEN PEOPLE ARE INTERNALLY DISPLACED
THE SITE OF HOMYAK'S MILITARY LODGE
THANK YOU AND LET'S BRING THE VICTORY CLOSER!