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New York is dead,
It's not dead, but it's on life support,
The streets are empty,
The shops are closed,
People are leaving,
Those who stayed have to wear masks,
We look like outlaws,
Our church is also empty,
Weeks ago,
the seats were full of parishioners,
There was prayer and song,
Then Father Brooks died,
We had to close the doors immediately,
I was sad when Father Brooks died
but it hit Father James much harder,
He's been depressed for weeks,
I brought you some tea, Father James,
Oh, Uh,,, No, No, thank you,
Please have a cup, It's Chamomile,
- It's your favorite, - No, I don't care for any tea, thank you,
Could you just take it away?
Every God Damn day we go through this,
I try to engage,
He pushes me away,
I should dump this tea all over his head,
Every day at 7pm, New Yorkers engage in a short ritual,
They go to their windows and they clap and they cheer,
They do this for the healthcare workers risking their lives,
It goes on for about a minute,
I'm not sure where it started, but I like it,
It's nice to feel appreciated,
Father James is scared of the virus,
He cleans obsessively,
He's starting to remind me of my own father,
Wait, What are you doing?
- Did you just go outside? - Yeah,
Where's your mask? Where's your gloves?
I have my mask right here,
Okay, That's a chin guard, That's not a mask,
Go, go,
Wash your hands, at least,
I guess I can't blame Father James
for being cautious,
This virus is cruel,
It attacks the lungs,
And now I'm smoking again,
When Father Brooks was alive,
we would have lively discussions during dinner,
Now we eat in total silence,
I'm sleeping a lot,
I go to bed early and I get up late,
I used to write in my journal,
Now I take naps,
Long naps,
What's the point of anything?
It was an old friend of mine, Paul Ruccio,
Jesus, I haven't heard from him in years,
He wants to hang out,
Should I?
He was a little nuts, Maybe it's not a good idea,
What does he want after all this time?
Maybe he's in trouble,
Maybe he needs money,
Jesus, what if he's got the disease?
Surely, he wouldn't be meeting if he was sick?
I don't know, Paul could be pretty selfish,
I shouldn't be doing this,
- Hey, - Hey, There he is!
Look at you, Look at you,
How you doing, my friend?
No, sorry, Please Please,
What? What? You're not hugging?
No, No, No one is,
No? Come on,
- Give me a hug, I haven't seen you in,,, - No, No, No, Wait,
People are doing this now,
The elbow thing?
The elbow thing, Yeah,
- The elbow thing, - The elbow thing,
- Wow, - So, are you going to invite me in or,,,?
I'm sorry, We can't go into the church,
- No? - No,
- Oh, come on, - It's closed,
- It's closed to visitors, - It's me,
I just want to see where you work,
- I know, I'm sorry,
Are you serious?
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, It's,,,
What are we supposed to do? Just talk on the stoop?
I thought we'd go for a walk,
I don't want to go for a walk,
I want to sit and talk in the church,
I know, I know, But we can't,
This is ridiculous, Just for a second,
- Wait, Wait, - Just for a second, A second,
I'm not kidding about that, Paul,
Wow, It's beautiful,
Andrew, this is your church?
Well, I am one of the priests here,
Look how high the ceilings are,
It's like Vatican City in here,
Uh,,, Paul, Paul, Please,
What?
You have to put your mask back on,
But we're inside,
I know but it's still dangerous,
You think I have the virus?
I don't know,
I'm fine,
I'd feel better if you put the mask back on,
Andrew, I mean, what,,,
I'm not going to talk to you with my face covered,
it's ridiculous,
Come on,
Will you take yours off too please,
so I can see your face?
- No, I'd rather keep it on, - I haven't seen you,
- I'd rather keep it on, - Really?
Yeah, I don't want to get spittle in my mouth,
Spittle in your mouth?
- Yes, - You think I'm going to spit in your mouth?
Not deliberately,
You're watching too much news, man,
You're totally paranoid, I mean, totally,
We're not supposed to be in here in the first place,
so I'm a little nervous about that, too,
Alright, Well, can I just look around for a minute?
Yeah, sure,
So you're telling me
that you're not letting people come in to pray?
Unfortunately, not,
That's insane,
I mean, people really need that,
Especially now,
It's not my decision,
Well, let's sit down, Let's get caught up,
Would you take that stupid mask off?
Please,
My friend, the CDC recommends
that we keep these masks on at all times,
Who are you, Howie Mandel?
I'm not going to spit in your mouth,
Anyone could be a carrier,
Andrew, I'm healthy, Look at me,
I don't have a fever, I'm not sweating,
I'm fine,
I want to see your face,
I haven't seen you in ten years,
I'm not going to sit here like an idiot
and have a conversation with,,,
,,,with a guy who look like he's about to perform a circumcision,
Take that mask off, Andrew, you know me,
I'm going to reach across
and grab it off your face if you don't take it off,
You look like you're about to perform a circumcision,
That's very funny,
Look at that handsome face,
You look good, You look young,
I look like Father Time,
Father Andrew,
Is that what I'm supposed to call you now?
Or can I just call you Andrew since we're old friends?
I don't care, Call me wherever you want,
I don't know, I like Father Andrew,
It's got a nice ring to it,
You look good, too, You look really good,
Thank you, I feel pretty good,
You still have that youthful spirit,
I've changed a lot though,
- Yeah? - Yeah, since I saw you last,
- You feel that way? - Oh yeah,
How have you changed?
Well, I quit drinking, for one thing,
Really? You quit cold turkey?
Yep, I quit cold turkey,
And Wild Turkey, And Jack Daniels,
That's great,
Yeah, I feel a lot better,
My head's clearer,
I think I'm a better person,
That's great,
Are you with someone?
Yeah, I have a girlfriend,
That's good,
I was married though, Before,
Married? Really?
- Yeah, - I would have never guessed that,
I know, I was though,
It didn't work out,
We got divorced a couple of years ago,
That's too bad,
No, it's okay, Just a bad match,
Well,,, Are you okay?
Cuz, you seem okay,
Yeah, now I am, Now I am,
But I was bad for a long time,
I know,
The last time I talked to you, you were miserable,
I was worried about you,
I tried to contact you several times,
I couldn't get in touch with you,
All those numbers that I had for you,
None of them worked,
I had no email address for you,
You weren't on social media or anything like that,
Sorry, I was,,,
I needed to get my shit together,
Sorry, I shouldn't curse in here,
That's okay,
But uh,,, no,
I turned a corner
and here I am,
- You turned a corner? - Yeah,
What do you think did it?
Sobriety?
Uh,,, Well, you know,
the sobriety was definitely part of it, but, uh,,,
You're not going to believe this Andrew,
but I saw something recently
that changed everything for me,
I mean, everything,
It just,,,
,,,opened my mind up completely,
What's going on here?
Father James,
Who's this?
Paul, Hi,
Paul, This is an old friend of mine, Paul Ruccio,
Why aren't you wearing your mask?
Oh me, Yeah, I'm sorry,
And where's your mask, Paul?
Hey, I'm clean,
I promise you,
I'm not used to saying that to priests,
I usually say it to women,
You've been tested?
Me, No, No,
I'm trying to avoid hospitals and doctor's offices
since that's where all the sick people are,
Right, You're obviously not avoiding anything,
As a matter of fact, just by being here,
you're blatantly disregarding the rules of the quarantine,
I'm only trying to see my friend,
Andrew, he has to leave,
I'm going to get the disinfectant,
- Father James, - I said, "Get him out of here,"
I'm sorry, Stop, Please!
I'm sorry but he's,,,
This is an old friend of mine,
A dear old friend,
Thank you, Father Andrew,
It makes me nervous when you do that,
How long have you known each other?
- Thirty years, - Thirty years,
Yeah, thirty years,
This guy was wild back in the day,
It's a good thing he found God
or he'd probably be in prison right now,
That's not even remotely true,
Well,,,
It's nice to have friends,
Well, it must be 7 p,m,
Yep,
They're they go,
You know why they do that?
Yeah, sure, It's for the healthcare workers,
It's to show their support,
I don't like it,
- You don't like it? - No,
How can you not like it?
It's a spontaneous gesture, It's a wonderful gesture,
No it's not,
It's just a bunch of people
trying to feel good about themselves,
What's wrong with that?
I think it's disingenuous,
Disingenuous?
I think so, too,
What?
- You think that? - Yeah,
I think you're both nuts, It's a beautiful thing,
It's about making the health care workers
feel appreciated,
It helps,
What? A bunch of people clapping and cheering?
How is that helping anyone?
The doctors, the nurses, the custodians,
the orderlies, they're all risking their lives,
And some collective acknowledgement
is supposed to improve the situation,
It's about lifting people's spirits,
I mean, is that okay with you or not?
- What's not okay about that? - You know what I think?
- What? - I think when a nurse gets off work,
probably overworked and underpaid
she or he is walking back to their apartment
and they hear this clapping, this clamor,
this banging of pots and pans,,,
and they find it really annoying,
- Yes, - They probably think,
"Here I am, I'm taking all this risk,,,"
",,,I'm surrounded all day by death and disease" and,,,
,,,these people think they can just participate
from the sidelines,
It's bullshit, pardon my French,
Cynicism is never the answer, especially now,,,
The way things are,
The doctors, the nurses,
the orderlies, the administrators,
These people are heroes,
And once, every night at 7 p,m,, for a moment,
we're all, we are all connected again
through mutual admiration for these people,
Connected, Connected,
We need to be connected,
We need as much connection as we can possibly get right now,
Well, if that's the case, why not open up the church?
That's a good question,
Do people not want to come to church?
I would have thought there would be a real need from your,,,
members, what are they called, the flock?
No, it's too dangerous, Too dangerous,
We could set ground rules,
We could have masks and gloves, mandatory,
We could see them by appointment,
We could do lots of things, We could have a wedding,
A wedding?
Are you out of your mind? Come on,
We could do a small wedding like they have in Vegas,
I got a friend Brian,
he was supposed to get married next month,
He and his finance
want to get married in the church,
It would give people hope,
Father Brooks would have wanted it,
This is the tactic that people use
when they want something,
They use the presumed desires of the dead to get their way,
You don't have any idea what Father Brooks
would have wanted,
Well, he wouldn't have wanted you sitting around
feeling sorry for yourself,
And he wouldn't have wanted you making fun of a 7 p,m, ritual
that comes from a place of love,
He'd want us to embrace our vows,
He'd want us helping people, especially now,
You know what else he might have wanted?
For us to live, to survive,
to go on preaching the word of God into the future,
So you're afraid?
Am I afraid? Of course, I'm afraid,
Aren't you afraid?
"Though I walk through the darkest valley,
I shall fear no evil, for you are with me,"
Psalm 23:4,
"Do not be over-wicked and do not be a fool -
why die before your time?" Ecclesiastes 7:17
"Stand firm in the faith;
be courageous; be strong,"
Corinthians 16:13,
"The prudent sees danger and hides himself,
but the simple go on and suffer for it,"
Proverbs 27:12,
That was like dueling banjos with scripture,
It was nice to see you, Paul,
You too, You too,
Listen, you think it would be okay if I
came by again some time?
Yeah, Sure,
You know, I think Father James likes you,
Yeah, he's a happy drunk,
Then he got a little mean,
He reminds me of my brother,
He's just scared, So am I,
What are you guys scared of?
Death?
Well, yeah, Paul,
But you're priests,
You believe in an after life,
And if there is a Heaven, you're probably going there,,,
unless you're hiding some dark secret,
I think you know all my secrets,
I didn't know you were afraid of death,
Anybody who says they're not afraid of death
is lying,
I'm not,
Well you're in denial about a lot of things,
One of these days, when the church opens back up,
I'm going to introduce you to a friend of mine,
She's going to show you something
that will blow your mind,
- Like what? - You'll see,
Good night, Father Andrew,
Good night, Paul,
He's a spirited guy,
He reminds me of Father Brooks,
How so?
He's a little obnoxious but lovable,
Yeah, One minute you wanna punch him,
the next minute you wanna hug him,
Well, we shouldn't be hugging anyone anyway,
- given the current,,, - I know,
It's a figure of speech,
In any case,,,
I think you're right,
We should open the church,
That would be wonderful, Father James,
- But it has to be conditional, - Of course,
We have to practice absolute safety,
People can come in to pray by appointment only,
They have to wear gloves and a mask,
Only people you know,,,
,,,or have vetted,
I've got dozens of requests from members of the church
already who just want to come in and pray,
Good,
Who knows,
Maybe we'll get some donations out of it,
Well, it's not just about the donations,
Did I say it was just about the donations?
No, But it's somewhat about the donations,
We have to keep the lights on somehow,
You think God's going to say, "Let there be light"
and ConEd will forgive the power bill?
Of course, I'm sure people will want to donate,
Now you're going to be responsible for this,
If someone hasn't been adhering to the quarantine,
they can't come in,
if someone looks sweaty or glassy eyed,
don't let them in,
Look at their noses,
If there's even one drop of snot, no access,
Look at their chests,,,
If they seem to be breathing heavily,
then I'm sorry, no entrance,
- It's a little hard to gauge whether someone's sick
by looking at their chest,
- No, it's not, Look at me, - Look at my chest,
You see how it's expanding and contracting rapidly?
That's all you have to do,
Look, Observe,
Study with your eyes,
That's how Da Vinci gained most of his knowledge,
That's how Sherlock Holmes solved most of his mysteries,
He observed and he deduced,
If they don't look well,
If something's off, send them off,
If they have a cough, send them off,
You sound like Dr, Seuss,
And I don't care if they're black or white
or Asian or Iranian or Pomeranian,
If they don't look well,,, no entrance,
Well, we could get called out for racism,
The virus is affecting certain races more than other,
This isn't a Bernie Sanders rally, okay,
If they have a cough, send them off,
Is that a catch phrase now?
And one at a time,
They have ten minutes,
They come in, they sit down,
they say their prayer and they're out,
Ten?
- Yes, - Where did you get that number?
From the Romans,
Well some people might need more than that,
Who prays for more than ten minutes?
Even the pope doesn't pray that long,
You think God wants to listen to that?
Okay, ten minutes,
And after they've left, you disinfect where they sat,
Okay, you scrub,,,
,,,and you spray as if your life depends on it because,,,
,,,in a lot of ways, it does,
Okay, Father James,
You understand?
I do,
Good,
Um,,, what about my friend Brian?
Brian? Who's that?
I thought you said this guy's name was Paul,
Brain is the one who wants to get married,
Okay, absolutely not,
Are you crazy?
You want to have weddings in here now?
Did you not listen to anything I just said?
It's just going to be Brian, his finance,
one or two witnesses, That's it,
Yeah, and then maybe a mother,
Then maybe a father,
And then a cousin, then the cousin's boyfriend
- and then we're having the Royal wedding in here, - No, no no,
it's not going to be like that, I assure you,
Well, let's see how it goes this week, alright?
Then I'll decide,
I woke up early the next morning
with a renewed sense of purpose,
I couldn't wait to open the church,
I was excited to reconnect with our parishioners,
I'd received so many requests by email,
As long as they were quarantined,
they could come to church,
Jimmy was the first one on the list,
He'd been emailing me twice a week
since the virus started,
He desperately wanted to pray inside the church,
I was happy to open the doors for him,
But I was also slightly terrified,
Good, Good, Any difficulty breathing?
No, No, my anxiety is under control,
Good, I mean, since the virus hit New York,
No, No, No, No, No, I'm on my medication,
Everything's good, It's good,
Yeah, yeah, Open your mouth,
You want me to open my mouth?
I do, I need to take a look,
Ahh,,,
You know, I've never watched a person pray before,
I wonder what he's praying for,
Jesus, whatever it is, he's really going for it,
I shouldn't watch him like this,
I should go sit somewhere else,
But why should I? I was here first,
You know what? I should probably put this back on,
He's shedding a lot of tears,
I should probably get a pair of goggles,
Maybe I could get one of those bee keeper helmets,
I wonder if bees can pass the virus?
Oh shoot, I forgot to tell him about the time limit,
I need him to wrap this up,
There's someone else coming in,
I've got to disinfect the pew,
I gotta wash my hands,
Jesus, I have to do this every time?
I could see that Jimmy's spirits were lifted,
He was lighter somehow,
Maybe he'd shed a few pounds from all that crying,
But I felt lighter, too,
It brought me joy to see how it meant for him
to visit the church,
He needed this,
And so did I,
Cleanliness is next to Godliness,
My father used to say that
when he made me clean my room,
He called me "filthy,"
He didn't believe in God,
But he kept a very clean house,
Surely, he'd approve of this obsessive cleaning,
That's probably all he'd approve of,
Elisabeth was next on the list,
She'd been a parishioner at the church for a long time,
Have you had any chills or symptoms of any kind?
No, No, I haven't,
- Cold? - No,
- Flu-type symptoms? - No,
- I've been fine, Father Andrew, - Good, good,
Do you mind taking a few deep breathes for me?
Just to,,,
A few deep breathes, Deep, Deep,
Father Andrew,
why are you staring at my breasts?
Oh, it's an abundance of caution,
- Uh, forgive me, - Mm-hmm,
Why is her mask down?
We're inside,
What if she sneezes?
It's a sneeze not a dirty bomb,
They're supposed to have their faces covered
at all times,
There's something dehumanizing about it,
Well, if we were androids, I wouldn't care,
Androids don't get sick,
I think you're being a little paranoid,
Do I need to remind you what happened to Father Brooks?
No, you don't,
He's dead,
I know he's dead,
How did he die?
- Don't patronize me, - No, No, No,
Tell me how he died,
Is there a problem?
Oh,
No, no,,, Elisabeth, We're just,,, We're just,,,
You know, I can hear every word you're saying,
I'm not infected,
But if it makes you feel better,,,
And Father James,
you're not even going to say hello?
I'm sorry, Elisabeth,
How are you?
Scared like everybody else,
Yes,
I'm scared, too,
You don't have to feel bad, I understand,
I had a friend die of the virus, too,
I'm so sorry,
Please, take your mask off,
Sit down,
I wanted to go see her but I was afraid,
They said she died all alone in the hallway,
No friends, No family,
You know, a lot of people are dying, Father James,
Yes,
I know you must be feeling bad about Father Brooks,
I wish I felt worse,
Numb is more like it,
It feels like someone's squeezing my heart
like a sponge,
It feels empty,
And I assume you couldn't even have a funeral,
No, well that was the worst part,
He's still at the morgue,
We didn't get a chance to say good bye, So,,,
Yeah,
I know what you mean,
The church was open,
It was inspiring,
People came,
They prayed,
I felt alive again,
And I wrote,
I wrote morning, noon and night,
I wasn't sure where the words came from,
but I was grateful for them,
Paul was the one who encouraged me
to write in the first place,
This was years before I became a priest,
Paul was at the church every day,
He never prayed though,
He just sat in the pews silently,
Sometimes he wrote in his journal,
He said it was important to get things out,
Especially the bad stuff,
He said if you kept that stuff inside,
it would fester and become part of you,
I never agreed with that,
It's better to ignore the bad stuff
and embrace the positive instead,
You do that until it blossoms and flourishes inside of you,
But I loved having Paul around,
So did Father James,
In fact, he was becoming his old self again,
Oh, this wine is incredible,
Isn't it though?
Argentinian Malbec, It's the best,
Oh, I love it,
So did I, Too much so, in fact,
That's why I had to stop,
Yeah, but if the world were to end,
don't tell me you wouldn't do it again,
What? Drink?
Oh, absolutely, Absolutely,
If a giant meteor was heading this way
and we were all going to be dead in a week,
I'd buy a pack of cigarettes,
I'd open a bottle of Malbec,
And when the world came to an end,
I'd go out with a big drunken smile on my face,
Blowing out smoke rings,
I'd be a happy man,
Is that really how you would go out?
Well, preferably I'd be with my girlfriend
and we'd both be naked but yes,
I didn't know you had a girlfriend,
I told you about her,
Yeah, she's very very,,,
Sweet,
She's a little nuts though,
She's pretty,
I don't know, I love her though, I think,
She gets on my nerves sometimes
but I get on hers, too,
So, I guess we balance each other out,
Do you guys ever think about it?
If this is the end,
The end, the end?
The end of days,
Revelation,
The big good-bye,
It never occurred to me that this is the end,
Why not?
Maybe it's just not big enough,
Compared to The Spanish Flu,,,
The Black Plague, World War II,
Those were big,
Not that this isn't big,
but it doesn't feel like the end,
Yeah, I know, If I thought this was the end,
I'd be getting drunk right now for sure,
You know, Father Brooks used to ask me,,,
"If you knew that the world was coming to an end,
would you want to be here when it happened?"
I remember that,
He used to like to ask people that question,
Yeah, Do you want the world to end in your lifetime?
Why would anybody want to see the end of the world?
Well, I don't know, Think about that,
You would all be together,
It would be one big, ultimate collective experience,
That's not a positive,
That's nihilistic,
The whole point of existence is to keep going,
I know,
You know, you shouldn't even want it to end,
I wouldn't want the world to end selfishly just so I could say,
"I was there when it happened,"
It'd be a really good story though,
I mean, that's my whole problem with religion,
Like Christianity and Islam,
This eschatology, The end of everything,
You need the world to end to validate your belief system,
There's more to it than that,
I don't know, It seems pretty clear to me,
Tell me if I'm wrong,
For Christ to return, the world has to end,
Am I right? Does it not say that?
Well,,,
I don't know,
But look at it this way,
If the world ends, you'll be able to drink again,
There's always a silver lining to everything,
At some point, even Sisyphus must have said,,,
"Well,,, at least I'm getting a good workout,"
Good night,
Good night, Father James,
You know what,
I'm going to head to bed, too,
What it be alright if I slept at the church tonight?
Why do want to do that?
I don't know, I like it in there,
It's comforting,
I thought you were an atheist,
Me? No, I'm not an atheist,
- You're not? - No,
When I went to seminary, you totally made fun of me,
Because you're Jewish,
- So, - So,
isn't that what you're supposed to do
when a Jew becomes Catholic?
You make fun of them,
It's just what you do,
You know, most Jews don't get it,
Christianity is actually a road to becoming a better Jew,
Yeah, you might be the first person
I've ever heard say that,
Well, I could explain it to you, but you don't care,
I care,
Explain it to me,
Just keep it under two minutes,
I have an attention problem,
The old testament was written by the Jews, you know,
Yeah, I know,
And they prophesied a savior,
I know, I'm not a complete imbecile,
So when Jesus came,
he didn't say he was setting out to destroy the old testament,
He was here to fulfill it,
Why is that important?
Because when you accept that Jesus was here
to fulfill the old testament, not refute it,
then you understand that Christianity
complements Judaism,
Not only that, it completes it, it validates it,
The rabbis will not agree with that,
The rabbis don't agree on anything,
When you read The Talmud,
It's just a bunch of opinions about God,
It's not even connected to the Old Testament,
I thought the Talmud was the Old Testament,
The Torah's the Old Testament,
So what's the Talmud?
The Talmud's just a bunch of opinions,
Rabbis disagreeing about Jewish laws and traditions,
It's gotta be more complicated than that,
Well, you told me to keep it short,
Let me ask you something,
What does your dad think about all this?
I haven't spoken to him in years,
No?
That's fucked up, You need to call him,
I don't think so,
You know my mom calls me every day,
Yeah?
Every day,
She thinks people are dying in the streets here,
She talks to me on FaceTime
and she looks at me and she's like,
"Are you feeling okay? You look sick,,,"
",,,Your eyes are blood shot, Your nose is runny,
Do you have a fever?"
That's funny, She's saying that, too?
Who else is saying it?
I'm saying that to the parishioners
who come in here,
I'm not saying it anymore,
She's turning me into a total hypochondriac,
You look fine,
By the time this virus is over,
we're all going to be agoraphobic with OCD,
What are you going to do? Just sit here all night?
I don't know,
I might write in my journal a little bit,
Well, I have to turn the lights off,
Okay, That's fine,
Then you won't be able to write in your journal,
Alright, then I won't write in my journal,
What are you going to do, sit in the dark?
Yeah, why not?
What do you write in your journal?
Dirty jokes,
You're not homeless are you?
What?
No, Why would you ask me that?
- Because you're here every night,
- I like your company,
Where do you live?
Alphabet City,
Yeah? How long have you been living there?
About eight years,
Eight years you've been living here in New York city
and this is the first time you're getting in touch?
Andrew, I told you I was in a bad place,
I mean, I was a mess,
I didn't want you to see me all messed up like that,
I'm glad you're better,
Can I tell you something, Andrew?
What?
I had a good thing going,
With my wife,
With my ex-wife,
She was a good woman,
She was my best friend,
But I hurt her really bad,
I did things and I said things,
I pissed it all away,
I'm not a good person,
And when,,, ,,,I was at my darkest,
really at the bottom of a dark hole,,,
,,,drinking and just depressed,
I thought, "this is it, man,"
"I'm never crawling out of this,"
"It's over,"
Well,,,
you pulled through,
You know what else?
Sometimes, when I walk around this city,,,
I think, "Thank God for this virus,"
I think it's the best thing that ever happened to New York,
What are you talking about?
You see this place? It's all shut down,
I know, I know,
People are dying, It's awful,
The shops are closed,
Maybe this is what needs to happen
for New York to be reborn,
Maybe the virus will save the city,
From what?
From the pharmacies,
The lame corporate franchises on every corner,
The freakin' rich people buying up all the property,
What's the point of having a city if it's got no soul?
The city is dead,
It's not dead,
I gotta go to bed,
You sure you don't want to stay in the parlor there?
- No, no, no, no, - There's a couch in there,
No, no, I like it in here,
- It's comforting, - All right, Here,
Thank you,
Got that,
Got a nice pillow,
Thank you, Thank you,
You're a good man, Father Andrew,
You need to call your dad, though,
All right, Yeah,
[speaking Latin] In the name of The Father,
The Son and the Holy Spirit,
Sara was a nurse,
She wanted to make a confession,
To my surprise,
Father James wanted to hear the confession,
Quitting your job isn't a sin,
- It feels like one, - Why?
Well, I'm a nurse,
I'm supposed to take care of the sick,
You have a hard job,
There are so many people who need help, Father James,
And it never stops, its just an endless wave of patients,
And I'm terrified I'm going to get the virus,
I mean, they don't have enough masks,
There aren't enough nurses or doctors,
And my husband is so scared
I'm going to bring the virus home with me,,,
,,,he and my daughter are staying at his brother's house
out in Long Island,
Well, given the circumstances
I think that's probably a good idea,
It's not worth it,
I don't know these people,
I don't owe them anything,
Why should I die for them?
Then I think about Jesus, What would he do?
Well,,,
Considering who Jesus was, I think it's safe to say
he would probably have sacrificed himself, right,
Well, obviously, So you see why I feel guilty,
I feel I'm abandoning my co-workers,
I feel like a coward,
That's okay, Sarah,
Even Jesus was conflicted about his fate,
But he got a legacy,
Hundreds of health care workers are dying for this
and nobody even knows their name,
They just become a statistic,
Oh, I don't want that,
I don't think you should feel bad about this,
Well, then why do I?
Because you have a conscience,
Well, what if every nurse did what I did?
Then where would we be?
Wouldn't that make things worse?
That would make things difficult,
It's true, Every nurse counts,
And I miss my daughter,
Ugh, I'm sure you do,
I don't miss my husband so much,
I actually like having him out of the house,
Oof,
- It's nice to have peace and quiet for a change, - Sara,
You know really, Father James,
he's the one who should be in here confessing,
The things he says, the way he thinks,
My husband is evil,
Your hus,,,
Your husband is not evil,
You've heard his confessions,
Well, it's true,
You've both been members of this parish for a long time,
What does he say?
Come on, Father James, Does he cheat?
- I can't tell you that, - Why?
If I told you that,
then I'd have to go to Rome to be pardoned,
By the Pope himself,
I should leave his behind,
You don't want to leave him,
- Uh-hmm, - Oh, come on,
- He's a generous man, - Mm-mm,
You don't know him like I know him,
No, I don't know him like you know him,
but Sara you don't want to leave your husband,
You're just tired, You're overworked,
This is a tough moment for everybody,
And you're doing great service,
Don't blame your husband for everything,
That's a mistake,
Father James always said his favorite part
of being a priest was talking to the parishioners,
He and nurse Sara ended up talking for three hours,
So much for the ten minute rule,
Paul was right,
I needed to call my father,
I was conflicted,
I wasn't sure whether or not I should wear my collar,
He could never accept why I chose my faith,
Screw this, I'm wearing it,
I'm a priest,
I don't have anything to be ashamed of,
I believe in God,
I believe in Jesus as our lord and savior,
If he's not okay with that, he can go to Hell,
I don't mean that, I don't want him to go to Hell,
I don't want anybody to go to Hell,
I don't even know if I believe in Hell,
How could I worship a God if he sent my father to Hell?
He may be a jerk but he doesn't deserve to burn for eternity,
Does anybody?
Maybe my dad's right,
maybe this God stuff is ridiculous,
Jesus, what I saying?
Do not be troubled, do not let your heart be afraid,
- Hey,,, Look at you, - Look at you,
It's been a while,
Um-hmm, Yeah, it has been,
You got a beard,
You too,
Yeah, Hey,
We could walk into Starbucks together,
people'll think we're twins,
Hey,,, How are things up in New York?
I hear a lot of crazy things,
Yeah, The city's still here,
Yeah?
There's no anarchy in the streets?
There's nothing in the streets,
The streets are empty, It's creepy,
Well, you can come out here,
I'm okay,
Okay,
Sara, do you mind if I ask you a question?
Sure,
You know that thing that happens every night
at 7 o'clock where everybody claps
for the healthy care workers?
Yeah,
As a nurse,
what are your feelings about that?
Don't you think that's pretty obnoxious?
Oh no,
I think it's nice,
It makes me feel appreciated,
You know, in fact, it lifts my spirits,
You know, Father James, just yesterday,
- I was feeling so low, - Mm,
And when the cheering started,
it was like the clouds parted,
Whoo! Yeah, health care workers!
Way to go, Thank you!
You guys are heroes! Whoo!
Do you think its obnoxious?
Oh no,
No, no, I don't,
I don't, I don't,
I think you're right, I think it's,,,
I think it's so beautiful,
It really is,
Thank you, Father James,
It's so good to see you,
It's been a while,
You too, my dear,
You have a good night, now,
Okay, be safe,
All right, You too,
But why?! I don't understand that,
Well, if you don't understand it,
I can't explain it to you,
Well, what is it?
God is afraid if you have children,
that will take you away from worshipping him?
Yeah, It's kind of like that,
It's about discipline, It's about devotion,
Devotion?
And you don't miss it?
- What? Sex? - Yeah,
I don't think about it,
Bullshit,
Nice, Nice,
I'm sorry,
But I don't believe you, I don't believe you,
Well, we believe different things,
All I'm saying is:
You know, it would be nice to have some grandchildren,
Your mother wanted grandchildren too, you know,
Dad,,,
She did, It was important to her,
She used to say,,,
"It's a shame priests don't have like a loophole for that,"
What? She said what? She said "loopholes?"
Not in those words, but that's what she meant,
It was important to her,
And to me! I'm not gonna lie to you,
Well, the ship has sailed,
Well, hey, listen,
Nobody says you have to do it the old fashion way,
You could try immaculate conception,
You believe in that, right? So,,,
Right,
You believe in that, right?
I don't want to have this conversation,
I'm going to hang up, If you keep talking,,,
Don't have up, Don't you hang up on me!
Well don't be an asshole! Don't be an asshole,
Okay!
I chose my life, I chose my life,
Can you just please accept?
I hear you,
I read a book recently,
Mazel tov,
No, I read a beautiful book and it had this quote,
I wrote this down for you,
I've been reading a lot of books,
Do you know how many books I've read
since we've been on lock down?
Like 42,
Forty-something books since the middle of March,
Isn't that something?
- Good for you,,, - All kinds of books,
I read fiction, non-fiction,,,
- It's good for you, - A read a great book on,,,
- A bio of Martin Luther King, Jr,, - That's good for you, pop,
I read a book of short stories,
I like that they're short, In and out,
Mm-hmm,
I read a book on plumbing,
Plumbing?
Yeah, I had a leak in the bathroom sink,
- Did you fix the leak? - Huh?
- Did you fix the leak? - No,
No, But I got the book,
Here you go,
So I wrote this down for you,
Listen, this is really beautiful,
"Do not be conformed to this world,,,"
"But be transformed by the renewal of your mind,"
"that by testing you may discern"
"what is the will of God"
"what is good and acceptable and perfect,"
From your Bible,
All right?
Yeah, You're reading the Bible now?
No, not the Bible, a book about the Bible,
About all different religions,
Interesting, Here's something:
In Buddhism, there's no God,
Yeah,
- You knew that? - Yeah,
- They don't have a God, Since when? - Well since,,,
For a long time,
It's interesting though,
You know, when you read all these religions
and you get past the surface stuff,
like the names, the stories, the actual stories,
When you get past all that,,,
They're not that different,
It's like,,, We all want the same thing,
Peace,
Peace in the world, peace of mind,
clarity, contentment,
Everybody,,, Whoever you are,
everyone wants their kids to be safe, you know,
- That's everybody, - It's funny,,,
It's kind of beautiful,
You know, it's so funny that you say that, Dad,
Before the church closed,
I was writing this sermon about that very thing,
The theme was "The neighborhood,"
And how you can live next to someone your entire life,
Your neighbor, That's what links you,
Proximity, Your shared space,
And commonality,
A sense of belonging, Exactly like you said,
And you know, maybe you're a Jew,
Maybe he's a Muslim,
And even though you're different
and you believe different things,
you're still neighbors,
You live on the same block,
I love you,
I love you, too,
I know that,
You know, when,,,
For years,
I thought you did all this
just specifically to piss me off,
No,
That wasn't why,
I know that,
But in my head, that's what I thought,
In my heart that's what I felt,
And it,,,
It hurt me,
Why?
Why,
But,,,
I don't know, I look at you now,,,
And I look at you and I just,,,
I see how happy you are,
I am,
I know,
And I look at you and,,,
I see you're a good person,
You're a mensch,
My son, the mensch priest,
Hey,
- Hi, - What are you doing?
Uh, nothing, Nothing, What are you doing?
I'm in the car,
Where are you going?
Nowhere, I'm just driving around,
It helps me clear my head,
Can I come over?
I don't know, I don't know, babe,
Hey, I'm sorry about that stuff I said the other day,
It was just stupid,
I didn't mean any of it, I miss you,
I wonder if this is going to lead
to the next baby boom,
What? The pandemic?
Yeah,
No,
Well, that's what happened after World War II,
All the GIs came home,
Their wives were waiting for them, all excited,
And they made babies, A lot of babies,
Why would anyone want to have a baby right now?
Well if more people are stuck at home having more sex,
there's going to be more pregnancies,
People are stuck at home so they're not having more sex,
They're isolated,
Well, I'm talking about the couples who live together,
The husbands and wives,
They'll get pregnant and they'll have more babies,
They'll have more abortions,
No, No, You're wrong about that,
Why would anyone want to have a baby in this climate?
There are no jobs, There are no businesses,
So if I got you pregnant, you would have an abortion?
If anyone got me pregnant, I'd have an abortion, right now,
Really? Anyone?
If Matthew McConaughey got you pregnant,
- you'd have an abortion? - Yes,
Ryan Gosling?
Yes,
Zak Efron? Idris Elba? Brad Pitt?
- Nobody? - Mm, Mm-hmm, Yeah,
I don't know why you're naming hot actors
because they're not my type,
- What's your type? - You are my type,
So if Paul Giamatti got you pregnant,
you wouldn't have it,
If it was immaculate conception,
I'd have an abortion,
You'd abort God's baby?
I would abort God's baby,
I don't believe you,
Well, I don't believe in God,
Maybe you should start believing in God,
Maybe we all should start believing in God,
Yeah, The world is fucked, Paul,
Yeah,
A little belief would keep us from being too cynical,
You know?
Help us be positive, Light in the darkness,
I don't think belief is going to change anything,
You don't know that, It might,
How long have we been quarantined now?
Three months?
Everyone thinks this thing is just going to peter out
and we'll just go back to normal soon?
I hate to break it to you, It's not,
What do you mean?
This is the Gulf of Tonkin, man,
What is that?
- The thing that started Vietnam? - Yeah,
Well, Vietnam ended eventually,
Ten years after The Gulf of Tonkin,
That's my point,
You think this is going to go on for ten years?
I think this is going to go on for one hundred years,
Until the end of time,
If this virus isn't going to take out half the planet,
then,,, I don't know, the next strain will, right?
They've been warning us about these pandemics for decades,
And even if they inoculate us against this virus,
There will be another strain in the wings,
waiting to take us out,
Can we not talk about this?
You're scaring the fuck out of me,
I came over here to relax,
You brought it up,
I brought up babies,
You turned it into the Left Behind series,
This is not about biblical prophesies, okay,
It's Darwinism, The strong survive,
For earth to survive, it has to take out the threats,
What's the greatest threat to the planet? Man,
You honestly believe that?
That the earth is planning a coup to take out mankind?
- Absolutely, - Come on,
You think scientists know everything?
They don't know anything,
For as much as we know the core of the earth
could be a massive brain that sends signals
to the plants, the trees, even the animals,
I don't think that's how it works, babe,
How would you know?
Because I have a brain,
And I can't control the hairs on my arm,
I can't tell them to stand up or shed,
I can't tell my toenail fungus to retract,
Gross,
- Where are you getting these ideas from? - What are you talking about?
- A lot of people believe this stuff, - It's ridiculous,
It is no more ridiculous than anyone else's beliefs,
I think,,,
,,,the virus is the earth's way of saying,
"I'm tired of this shit,"
Give me a break,
Do you know,,,
,,,that there's a mass of garbage and plastic
in the ocean the size of Texas,
But we just take garbage and put it into the ocean,
Will you suck my cock, please?
No, And I'm leaving New York,
Planning on it, For a while,
What? When?
Mm,,, In a few weeks,
I'm going to go to Utah to live with my mom,
Why?
Have you not heard a word I just said?
Like, it's over, Especially urban life,
Cities?
What are you saying? We need cities,
Cities have a lot to offer,
You said it yourself,
it wasn't even the virus that did New York in,
It was the politicians and the corporations, La, la, la,
Yeah, but maybe this is what it will take
for New York to be reborn,
You know, maybe it'll be like a resurrection,,,
,,,like Jesus Christ,
What is it with this Jesus talk lately?
You're talking a lot about Jesus these days,
So what? What's wrong with Jesus?
Maybe you're spending too much time at that church,
Yeah, Those are my friends,
Oh my God,
Your friends? Right, Okay,
- Why is that funny? - Oh my God,
Because Catholicism is fucking evil,
How can you say that?
What? Oh my God,,,
Okay, so, Christianity was anti-wealth
before Constantine bastardized it,
And who's Constantine?
And if the Roman Empire had continued to flourish,
we would all be Pagans right now,
- And that would be better? - Than Christianity?
Absolutely,
You don't think people getting rich off of religion is evil?
Like, it's not a little antithetical for preachers
to live in $10 million mansions?
Yeah, but my friend Andrew is not like that,
- At all,,, not even a little bit, - Right,
Okay, for any rich Christian
to think they're being rewarded for their beliefs by God?
Not all Christians believe that,
How about when we bombed Iraq?
Millions of Christians championed that war,
They were 100% in support
of America bombing a Muslim nation,
That's not antithetical to your pal Jesus' beliefs?
What does antithetical mean?
That's nice,
What is that?
Just,,,
,,,something I made up,
I'm just messing around,
Well, don't stop, Keep playing, I like it,
Hello,
Can I help you?
Yes, I'd like to be baptized,
- Really? - Yes,
Well, we'd have to set up and appointment,
No, I'd like to be baptized today, Right now,
Oh, well um,,,
Yeah, we can't do that,
Why not?
Have you gone through the proper education?
Well, uh,,,
I went to high school, Dropped out of college,
But I'm a very learned man,
No, what he means is,,,
Have you been educated in the principles of Catholicism?
Do you know what baptism means?
Well, I know what it means, I've seen it done in movies,
The priest standing in the lake,
dunking the head in the water,
Yeah well, there's more to it than that,
You have to be familiar with the rituals,
the proper way to pray,
Do you know who the apostles were?
What the pope does?
I need to know that to be baptized?
Well, no, but there is some study required,
I didn't know I needed a PhD in theology
in order to be baptized,
I was told that if I wanted to be saved,
it was a pretty simple process,
Why do you want to be saved?
Well, I want to take Jesus Christ
as my personal savior,
Why?
Look, um,,,
I've done a lot of things in my past
that I'm not so proud of,
I'd like to put that all behind me and,,,
Isn't that what Christianity is all about?
You erase the past and step into the light,
Why do you keep laughing?
- Am I laughing? - Yes,
You laughed,
It was more of a chuckle,
Oh, chuckle, Yeah, I chuckle, I'm a chuckler,
It's something I do, Don't look into that,
Okay, well I think what we should do
is set up a few appointments and,,,
,,you know, see if you're really serious about this,,,
I am serious,
Um, none the less,,,
You know, There's a process,
And you can't make an exception?
Well, we do make exceptions
for people who are sick and dying,
Are you dying?
Aren't we all?
I mean, from the moment we're born,
we're on that road toward mortality,
You know what we mean,
- Do you have a terminal illness? - Not that I'm aware of,
But someone did cough in my vicinity a couple of days ago,
so you never know,
Oh my God, He's not wearing a mask,
Where's your mask?
Relax, Father, Father, Relax, I'm not dying,
Look,,,
I've been around Christians my entire life,
And they all say to me, "Karl if you wanna be saved,,,"
",,,you gotta get baptized,"
"You have to accept Jesus Christ as your savior,,,"
",,,if you want to get into Heaven,"
"or you are going to burn in Hell,"
So, here I am,
I'm trying to do the right thing,
I understand,
You have your protocol,,,
but I am serious about this,
So,,,
If you were willing to,,,
,,,make an exception,
I would be willing to make a,,,
,,,very generous donation to the church,
Do you believe in God, the Father,
creator of Heaven and Earth?
Absolutely,
Do you believe Jesus Christ was born of the Virgin Mary
and crucified, was buried, rose from the dead
and is now seated at the right hand of the the Father?
I do,
Do you believe in the Holy Spirit?
Yes,
Do you reject Satan?
Sure,
And all his works?
All of his works?
I'll have to cancel my subscription to Penthouse?
- Oh, come on,,, - I'm kidding, father, Yes, all of his works,
And all his empty promises,
Yes, all of them,
God, the all-powerful Father of our Lord Jesus Christ
has given us a new birth by water
and the Holy Spirit and forgiven all of our sins,
May he also keep us faithful to our Lord Jesus Christ
for ever and ever,
Amen,
Yes,
Okay, um,,,
,,,close your eyes please and lean your head back,
I baptize you in the name of the father,,,
,,,and the son,
And the Holy Spirit,
Okay,
Karl, that's it,
You are now a member of the Catholic church,
That's it?
Really? I'm in the club?
Yes, You are in the club,
That's all it takes?
Well, as I said, we usually take,,,
I'm not going to burn in Hell?
Well, you still have to live a virtuous life,
Oh, no no no,
From this point on, I'm going to be a good boy,
Hey,,, Let me ask you something,,,
That thing you said about "Jesus Christ
giving a new birth
and forgiving us for all of our sins,"
Yes,
Do you really believe that?
Well, yes,
So, every sin I've ever committed is now,,,
forgiven?
Yes,
Really?
Well, yes,
But that doesn't mean you can just,,,
So, the bicycle that I stole in middle school,
That's pardoned?
Yes,
And the money I stole from my roommate in college;
that's forgiven?
Well, yes,
And that guy I beat up in when I was 26,
I put him in the hospital for six days,
That's expunged,
- Expunged? - You know what I mean,
It's no longer part of my spiritual record,
My rap sheet of sins,
It's crossed off the list,
Yes, Karl,
It's amazing,
Well, if you don't mind,
we have to get back to what we were doing before,
Oh, yes,
I don't want to get in your way,
I'll let myself out,
Oh,
Can I say something to both of you before I go?
Well, we really don't have time to,,,
What is it?
I've done some terrible things in my life,
Everyone sins,
Yeah,
And as you said, you're starting over,
That's right, I am,
But if you knew the things I've done,,,
,,,you wouldn't sleep at night,
I've done things with children,
I think you should go now,
I want to thank you both for your service!
I noticed the collection box when I came in,
I'm going to put the rest of this in there,
You two deserve it,
So long, fellas, Fathers, Father fellas,
Oh,
God bless,
I want to make a confession,
I haven't been sleeping very well,
I think one of the reasons is that,,,
,,,I can't fully express everything that I'm feeling
about it all,
It's uh,,,
There's so much I want to say but I just can't say it,
You can tell me anything, Father James,
Yeah, But I can't,
Sure you can,
You know, I had a horrible health crisis many years ago,
- did you know that? - I didn't,
Well, it was in the late 90s, just before you got here,
Uh,,,
I had a horrible chest infection that I couldn't shake,
It went on for months,
They didn't know what was wrong with me,
You know, bronchitis, or pneumonia,
Lung cancer, even,
So I had a lot of tests done,
Cat scans and x-rays and blood-work,
When I got the results, Father Brooks was there,
Every time the doctors told me that something was okay,
that I would be fine,
Father Brooks was right by my side,
Sometimes,,,
,,,he would, uh,,,
He would hold my hand,
Do you understand, Father Andrew?
Yes,
Every time I got sick,
Father Brooks was there to help me,
And you know I get sick all the time,
You know, flu, strep throat, or whatever,
This is one of the reasons I'm so paranoid
about this virus,
I remember when you got that food poisoning
a couple of years ago,
- That was pretty bad, - Oh, that was a nightmare,
Remember how much weight you lost?
10 pounds in six days,
We never did find out how you got that,
Oh, it was the Branzino fish,
- Really, You think so? - Absolutely,
Well, I had the Branzino fish too and I didn't get sick,
Well, maybe you had a lovely piece,
I had a disgusting piece,
Father Brooks had the Branzino fish also,
and he didn't get sick,
Well exactly,
He never got sick,
The man was a pillar of health,
Did you ever see Father Brooks sick one day in his life?
- Never, - Never, Not once,
That's one of the reasons I don't understand how this,,,
,,,virus could be the one thing that could kill him,
- It doesn't make sense to me, - It doesn't,
The man was a priest for fifty years
and this is how he's repaid for his servitude?
Well, servitude is the reward,
I know that,
I'm just angry,,,
,,,Father Andrew,
Oh my God, there's so much I want to say but I just can't,
I just can't,
I loved him, Father Andrew,
And he loved me,
Is there something you want to confess?
Well, that was it,
That we loved each other,
Oh, I knew that,
As long as we're here,
there's something I'd really like to confess,
Do you mind if I,,,
Um,,,
All right,
- So, I've,,, - Should we switch sides?
No, I don't think so, We don't need to do that,
Well, technically,
I do think I'm supposed to be on the other side,
You know why I become a priest?
Do you know why I joined the church?
- Well, I assume because,,, - I did it to piss off my father,
Oh,,,
I was just,,,
You know, when I was a teenager, I was,,,
I just didn't know what I wanted,
I didn't know what I wanted to do,
I had no ambition, My father was an overachiever,
He was always breathing down my neck and um,,,
I just thought,
"What could I do that would really get to him?"
so I thought, "I'll become a Christian,"
So, all of this was to spite him?
No, Eventually, Catholicism took on great meaning for me,
which it still does, I just,,,
But it didn't begin with the most noble intentions,
Well, I think that's okay,
Do you? I don't, I don't know,
I have a problem with it now,
You know, if I could just turn this around for a second,
When I was very young, I took tap,,,
I've been wanting to get that off my chest
for almost a decade,
It didn't change anything,
But I felt a weight lifted,
One night, Father James used some of the donation money
to put on a puppet show,
He and Father Brooks loved the theater,
Before the pandemic they went at least once a week,
Father James invited an old friend to join us,
Father Reese,
He loved the theater, too,
It was delightful watching those dolls come to life,
As we watched, I thought about our own bodies,
What was it that gave us life?
Was it some invisible force that couldn't be measured?
Were we just part of a metaphysical machine
that moved with no purpose?
Was some grand Svengali pulling the strings?
Was there someone above him pulling the strings?
Had it all been prewritten or did we have free will?
Maybe we were all just simulations
in some multi-dimensional computer game,
I've had these thoughts before,
but watching the marionettes now
stirred something inside of me,
I saw myself,
I saw my friends,
I saw all of us,
Then something occurred to me that I'd never thought of,
What if God wasn't benevolent?
Maybe he didn't care for us at all,
You know, it exists,
What?
The soul,
Yeah, I know it exists,
Well, you don't know,
Well, sure I do,
No, You have faith that you know but you don't know,
indefatigably, that the soul exists,
I have 30 years of study that tells me the soul exists,
Yes, but you can't measure it,
So it's still predicated on faith,
I don't need an EKG machine to show me that a soul exists,
It's the foundation of the Catholic church,
Christ died to save your soul,
When you were drinking, your soul was in jeopardy,
you made a decision to stop,
That wasn't a fluke, That was your soul talking
and maybe your liver,
Listen, I saw the soul,
the physical soul, leave a body,
Okay, Well, you know, I've heard that before,
Somebody has a a loved one who dies,
they see the soul leave, and then the body is at peace,
You're not special there, Paul,
I'm not talking about the soul leaving a dead body,
I'm talking about seeing it leave
someone who is still alive,
and then hover over them for an extended period of time,
and then reenter their body,
Yeah, I think you were on some pretty intense drugs
when you saw that,
Acid, Mushrooms, I did my time in the 80s,
You were tripping,
I was not tripping,
My friend can do it,
She's been trying to teach me but I haven't mastered it yet,
That's what I'm doing
when I'm sitting in the church all night,
Wait, You're staying here now?
So you're talking about astral projection?
I think astral projectionists
wish they could do what she does,
What does it look like?
Everyone,
this is my friend Anna,
Hello,
- Hello, - Hello,
I apologize if I smell,
I don't like to waste water
and I haven't been showering much,
No, You smell fine,
Yeah, from over there I do,
But if you came closer, you would see,
It's okay, Even if you did smell,
we wouldn't know it,
We're also standing at a distance
because of the virus,
Yeah, that's good,
I've known a few people who died already,
People are dropping like dominos,
We appreciate you for coming,
It's my pleasure,
I was happy to get your phone call,
It's probably good to get out of the house, right?
I leave the house every night,
Really? Where do you go?
Everywhere I went before,
Last night, in fact,
I went to the Museum of Modern Art,
I spent three hours looking at the Dali painting
Persistence of Memory,
Do you know that one?
That's the one with the melting clocks,
Yes,
it takes on a new meaning with our current situation,
It's like there is no time now,
Everything is moving extremely slow,
Well, I didn't think that the museums were open,
Do you have a friend who works there?
No, I left my body, traveled through the sky,
and flew into the building,
Yes, I was telling them you can do that,
Yeah, I've been going to all the museums,
The Museum of Natural History,
The Guggenheim, The Whitney,
Even the Museum of Sex,
Paul here tells us
that you have something you'd like to show us,
Yes, You'd like to see how I do it with your own eyes,
I mean,,, Sure,
Yeah, I can see you're skeptical,
Well, obviously, you can understand why,
I've found that scientists and men of the cloth
are threatened by new phenomena that they can't explain,
Surely, after I show you what I'm capable of,
you will find a way to refute it,
Well, the notion of the soul doesn't negate religion,
Right? If anything it strengthens it,
I don't agree with that at all,
We can discuss it afterwards, if you like,
So why don't we get the show started, Huh,
It's not a show, I'm not a performer,
And this isn't a magic trick,
Right, Okay,
So, should we have a seat or something?
Yeah, follow me,
You can find a seat somewhere here in the middle,
I'm sorry, I don't want to smell up the church,
I feel like I'm watching a David Blain show,
I had a friend who made out with David Blain,
- Really? - Yeah,
they were drunk in a bar,
When was this?
Like, eight years ago,
- Could you please shut up? - Quiet please,
Did you catch that?
Unbelievable,
You don't have to do that,
It's not a performance,
You have got to show me how to do that,
It takes years to master,
It's like reaching enlightenment,
See?
I told you, We have souls,
You just saw it,
Hey, Do that again,
I can't,
Why not?
Because I only have the energy to do it twice a night
and I'm meeting someone at the Queens cemetery later,
We have souls, Isn't that reassuring?
To know that we keep going? There's no death,
I can't say there's no death,
Maybe this thing inside of us only exists
while the body is alive,
Maybe the body is like a lightbulb,
Maybe the soul grows weaker over time,
and when it can no longer power the body,
The body dies and the soul is extinguished,
Yeah, but,,,
I don't understand the technical details,
I just know how to move it,
Yeah, but you said you're going to the cemetery later,
Don't you see the souls of dead people there?
No, This isn't The Sixth Sense,
I interact with the souls
of people who are still living,
I don't know what happens after we die,
I assume it all ends,
Really? I didn't know you believed that,
I assumed you believed in an after life,
Well, you shouldn't assume things, Paul,
I know, I do it all the time,
And I assumed you were smarter than that,
There has to be an explanation,
Yeah, like I said, you will try to discredit it,
Paul, it has to be an illusion,
- Right, - Andrew, she's not Mysterio,
Don't try to explain away
something that you can't understand,
Well, Paul, there has to be an explanation,
Let me ask you something,
You said you go to museums and stuff,
What do you do? You just fly through the sky?
Yeah,
Sorry, This is ridiculous,
Perfume,
What perfume?
The perfume that she was spraying
before in the front of the church
and then again up by the altar,
That's right,
You don't smell,
You were spraying psychedelics into the air,
We inhaled it and hallucinated this whole thing,
- That's very good, Father Andrew, - Observe and deduce,
Well, you are the Sherlock Holmes
of astral projection,
It's Lady Gaga, I got it on Ebay,
And if you ever want to do psychedelics, let me know,
My friend is a dealer, I have to go,
Wait, Wait, Wait, Wait,
I want to do it,
Well, what do you want? Mushrooms? DMT?
No, no,
I want my soul to leave my body,
We've discussed this, Paul,
If you want to become an expert,
you have to put in the hours,
- Haven't you read Malcolm Gladwell? - I put in the hours,
I just can't pull it off,
You have to let go of all your anxieties,
your fears, your anger,
all your resentments and your jealousies,
When you let go of all the things that weigh you down,
you will connect with the infinite now,
But you must detach from the past,
And the future,
But that's so abstract,
Can't you give me something specific to do?
What do I do?
That's it, Paul, I can't help you,
Sometimes you just have to accept your limitations,
Not everyone can run a marathon,
Good night,
She's right about that,
That was interesting,
Thank you Paul,
I can see why you were fooled by her,
You know, that's why Jesus was crucified,
What do you mean?
Stubbornness,
Closed-mindedness,
Open-mindedness would not have saved Jesus,
He had a destiny,
He knew he had no choice but to die,
And if he returned today, you wouldn't accept him,
And you wouldn't either,
Even if he performed 100 miracles
like the one you just witnessed,
If he wrote it in the sky, "I am the messiah,
I have returned,"
everybody on social media would be laughing at him,
making memes out of him,
And you two would call him a "false prophet,"
You don't even believe in Jesus,
I never said, unequivocally Jesus didn't exist,
or that he's not the son of God,
I just choose not to worship him
because I don't like taking sides,
He chose you, Paul,
He chose to save every one of us,
From what? The torment of our own souls?
There is no saving us,
Not when we're all trapped in here,
With our dread and our fear and our guilt,
I understand now,
You understand what?
I understand how to do it,
What he's doing?
I don't know and I don't care,
I'm going to watch Westworld,
If we are on drugs, it should be pretty trippy,
I think I'll join you,
Hey, Paul,
Paul,
Paul!
- Hey, Hey, - Hey,
Hey, buddy, We have a wedding,
- You gotta get up, - A wedding?
- Yeah, Sorry, - Now?
Yeah, You gotta get up,
Okay, They're here?
People are coming, Yeah, They're here,
Oh,
You gotta get up,
Hi, Brian,
Father Andrew, thank you so much for doing this,
This really means a lot,
Sure, Sure,
This is Rose, remember?
Yes, Rose, Hello, Hello, Rose,
And this is our best man, Richard,
What's up, man,
Well, let's get started,
We have a few more people if that's okay,
- A few more people? - Yeah, just a few,
Oh well,
It was only supposed to be the three of you,
Well,,,
It's okay, They all have masks,
- Mm,,, - We'll be safe,
Oh, Oh,,,
Father, thank you for having us,
We appreciate you father, Looking fly, dog!
Thank you for all this, father,
Bless you,
Bless you, father, Thanks,
Yes, Thanks,
Thank you so much,
Thanks, father, We really appreciate this,
Bless you, father, for letting us do this,
Hey, Father Andrew,
Thanks for inviting me to take photos,
I'm this beautiful bride's father,
I don't know what strings you had to pull,,,
,,,but thanks,
I've always loved weddings,
But this one was especially poignant,
Seeing two bodies come together
at a time like this was inspiring,
Love is a beautiful thing,
And I know that fear plays its part, too,
No one wants to die alone,
But today, no one was afraid,
It was like everyone forgot about the virus,
Unfortunately, Paul fell off the wagon that day,
I'm sure he had his reasons,
Who am I to judge?
He watched as everyone celebrated,
They danced like it was the end of the world,
And in a way, I guess it was,
But life is about connection,
We need to occupy the same space,
Whatever God's plan is,
regardless of what you believe, one thing is for certain,
We're all in this together,
The world didn't end,
New York didn't die,
And over time, people ventured out again,
And though it wasn't the same as before,
we had the feeling that things were going to be okay,
It was like the city was waking up from a long nap,
It was a little slower,
Perhaps a little broken,
But it was still here,
And we were thankful for that,
We had Father Brooks cremated,
And one day, we decided to give him a proper farewell,
We took his ashes to one of his favorite places,
It was a nice drive,
And it was a beautiful day for a funeral,
I don't know what to say,
You don't have to say anything,
Well, I feel silly,
Anything I would say, he already knows,
That I love him, That I miss him,
Me too,
You know,,,
,,,Father Brooks was very devout,
He believed with every fiber of his being,
But he used to always say to me
that he didn't care if God existed or not,
That if science proved that all it was all just some hoax,
some, you know, great cosmic accident,,,
he'd shrug and go back to reading his Bible,
"It's just a damned good story,"
is what he'd always say,
Did he really say that? I've never heard him say that,
I'm paraphrasing,
He seemed more resolute than that,
He was,
But he had moments of uncertainty,
Was he drunk?
He'd had a few drinks, yes, when he said it,
Are you remembering it correctly?
I seem to recall, I remember he used to say,
"God lives, God damn it!"
"God lives and don't you forget it!"
Well, he did,
He said that too but he was also plastered when he said that,
He sounds like a great guy,
Well, he actually really was,
But he could be a real jerk sometimes,
But he would always apologize,
He did,
And then he would say,
"You have to accept my apology because where would
Catholicism be without forgiveness?"
That's right,
Paul, would you like to say something
in Father Brook's honor?
Me? No, I didn't know him,
It would be wrong for me to say anything,
He would have liked you,
Yeah,
He would have wanted you to say something,
Okay, uh,,,
I just want to say that I'm really,,,
,,,honored,,,
,,,to be here,
And I'm very honored to be alive,
I don't want to die,
Hey,
I thought you weren't afraid of death,
I wasn't until last night, Now, I'm terrified,
Paul,
Do you want to be saved?
No,
Goodbye, Father Brooks,
Goodbye,
Okay,
- Let's get going, - Okay,
Wait,
We're not going to scatter the ashes?
Of course not,
Why?
The church frowns on the scattering of ashes,
Cremation wasn't even allowed until the 60s,
Really?
Yeah, For centuries,
cremation was an act of defiance against the church,
It was seen as an insult,
Why was it an insult?
Because it evokes paganism,
Well, it goes against the idea
of the soul transitioning into the afterlife,
When you scatter the ashes,
you're returning the body to the earth,
That's a kind of desecration,
I don't know,
I think you're all overthinking things here,
Yeah, it's true,
There's a lot of history behind this,
The church doesn't like it,
So, why did we bring the ashes to the beach?
- Father Brooks liked the beach, - He did,
It's too bad we can't scatter his ashes here,
It's too bad we can't bury him,
That's what he really wanted,
I wonder what he would have wanted in his casket,
He told me,
Oh yeah,
A bible
- and a fifth of bourbon, - A fifth of bourbon,
رسانه اینترنتی مای موویز MyMoviz جامعترین سایت فیلم و سریال
♪ Honey, love me like it's the end of the world
♪ Hold me close, don't let me go
♪ Love me like the world's on fire
♪ Hold me tight and don't let go
♪ Bite me hard and draw my blood
♪ Bite me deep, I'll bite you back
♪ Take my body, take my soul
♪ It's all these things that fade to black
♪ Don't feel bad, we knew it was coming
♪ Midst the up in you and me
♪ I want to feel you one last time
♪ Before we sink into eternity
♪ The word is spinning, my body's shaking
♪ The universe is closing in
♪ I wanna leave the sideline, all gooey and sweaty and happy
♪ Just like I felt when I came in
♪ Baby, love me like it's the end of the world
♪ Hold me close, don't let me go
♪ Love me like no one's by you
♪ Hold me tight until I go
♪ There's no need to say goodbye
♪ To all are family and friends
♪ Lets just stay then where we are
♪ Cause everything around is sense