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[woman] It's like all the meaning
you could ever have, but none of it at the same time,
[indistinct chatter]
[man] Oh, my God,
I think he had like six strings on that thing,
The last time I saw her, I was on mushrooms at your house,
-[sobbing] It's not a big deal, -[man 2] No, no, Hey, hey, hey,
But I knew what you meant, It's-- it's so unnatural--
-I'm sorry, you have children? -Yeah,
That's like, ew, It just feels like--
like biological narcissism,,
Like you have to have like,
like a fetish with your ego
to wanna have to like duplicate it,
[indistinct chatter]
So, he's like driving all the way
from Naperville to fucking Kankakee?
Yeah, It's-- it's-- it's a ride,
I mean, it's not really powerviolence anymore,
It's kind of more of like a synthcore sort of--
I wouldn't-- Because they have a synth player?
Well, yeah, I mean, they added a synth player,
It's not powerviolence,
We couldn't stop at a restaurant without--
We all had to wear the same shirt
and we would literally get up and sing a hymn
in a Cracker Barrel,
What was I saying?
Oh, just, you know, how you hate kids,
-Mm, -Yeah,
Yeah, I need another beer, You want one?
Uh, yeah,
["Don't You Think I'm Funny Anymore?" by Dougie Poole]
[man] Yeah, you know,
And I just had it and I was like taking pieces off
of it and I was like, "I'm gonna befriend the swan,"
And it became like a whole thing,
I'm like, "I'm gonna-- We're gonna be friends,"
And so, I would spend an hour just like, handing it pieces
and stuff, and I was trying to pet it,
And I'd get closer and closer
and then I started making friends
with people in the park because--
Here,
[man 2] Thank you,
[Liz] Mm-hmm,
[chuckling] Like, ew, right? It's like--
[woman exhaling]
It's so hot, Geez, Really?
I'm like so sweaty,
I would so fucking rail some fucking [indistinct]
-[man 2] You doing okay? - Yeah, I'm so good,
I feel so good, We're having so much fun, right?
Do you have a lighter?
[man 2] Yeah, I do,
Um, but I'm actually gonna probably head home,
Do you wanna walk with me?
Oh, so lame,
[man 2] Oh, exactly,
I feel like you're acting like
you're in your late 20s and it's so lame,
Oh, it's so funny 'cause I am,
So, it'd be great--
[Liz] I don't wanna be in my late 20s,
I know, but we can't really control time,
Give me your lighter,
Okay, but then you're gonna walk me home, okay?
-[Liz] Yeah, -Okay, great,
Gimme, Thank you,
I got you, I'm gonna study,
[man 2] Ready? There you go, You wanna take a beer?
-Two beers, -Two beers,
We'll take two beers and we gotta leave immediately,
I love you so much,
I love you,
[smooches]
We can be European,
[smooches]
So French,
[Liz] So French, Should I kiss them too?
[man 2] No, I think they're-- they're in their own world,
-[woman 2] That's for them, -Okay,
[man 2] Yeah, I think they're good,
[Liz] Where's my purse?
[man 2] Um, I'll find it,
You're home,
Okay, You got your keys?
-You have them, -Nope,
They're in here,
[man 2] No, I don't-- There-- there's-- these are so tight,
[Liz] What do you mean?
Do you want me to-- Do-- You got it?
-[Liz] Yeah, -[man 2] Okay,
Oh, Oh,
[Liz] There we go,
[man 2] Oh, this will be fun later,
[Liz] I got 'em,
[man 2] Okay, Okay, Get some sleep,
[Liz] Okay,
Good, Drink some water, okay?
'Cause tomorrow's gonna hurt,
[Liz] Yeah, Tomorrow will definitely already hurts,
Okay, I love you, Bye,
[Liz] Ow,
-[birds chirping] -[Liz sighing]
[gulping]
[lighter flicking]
[woman] But who did that? One of y'all did that,
[indistinct]
[water running]
[phone ringing]
Hello,
[Kathryn] Elizabeth?
[Liz] Uh, yeah, Yeah, It's Liz,
[Kathryn] Hi, Hi, it's Kathryn,
[Liz] Kathryn who?
[Kathryn] Kathryn Snow,
[Liz] Uh, sorry, I think you have the wrong number,
[Kathryn] Ezra's my stepdad,
[water stopping]
Um, I-- I'm sorry to be calling you, but,,,
I-- I just thought you should know that,,,
our-- our dad has cancer,
Um, he's dying,
He's in hospice at his home in Provo,
And look, I know you haven't spoken to him in years,
but he really wanted me to call you,
Hello? Are you still there?
Yeah, Yeah, I'm here,
[Kathryn] I moved to Wilmette with my husband,
Uh, are you still in Chicago?
Uh, yeah,
[Kathryn] I'm-- I-- I've got a lot to do today,
but I-- I wanted--
My mom sent me a package for you that Ezra wanted you to have,
so is it okay if I drop it off today?
-[pee running] -Yeah, Like at my apartment?
[Kathryn] Yeah,
Okay, Sure,
[Kathryn] Uh, what neighborhood are you in?
Humboldt Park,
[Kathryn] Ho-- hold on, Hey, hey,
You know, feet don't go on tables,
Feet? Sorry about that, W-- which neighborhood?
Humboldt Park,
[Kathryn] Okay, Uh, I can be there in about an hour,
Can you text me your address?
Yeah, Sure,
[Kathryn] Great, See you soon,
-Wait, what pa-- -[phone beeps]
-[woman] Yes, -[woman 2] Okay,
[woman] Thanks, baby,
[woman 2] What do you want for dinner?
Ooh, how about your famous spaghetti?
Oh, spaghetti for my little noodle?
-[woman] Yeah, -So cute,
You make the best spaghetti,
[laughing]
Oh, hey, What's the matter?
Apparently, my dad is dying,
[woman] Oh, Liz, I'm so sorry, Uh, I didn't--
I didn't even know you had a dad,
Well, I do, Can you move?
Did you know?
I don't know anything about her,
Oh, Who even has dad anymore? It's so embarrassing,
[Kathryn] Elizabeth?
Hi, Yeah,
Hi,
Um, this is your package,
I can just leave it here,
Okay,
Are you feeling okay?
Oh,
No, I'm just extremely hungover,
Driving to Provo tomorrow to see our dad,
Yeah, you told me,
[Kathryn] I think you should see him too,
Before he goes,
I don't have a relationship with him anymore,
I haven't spoken to him in years,
[Kathryn] It's not exactly his fault you didn't stay in touch,
[chuckles] Stay in touch,
I'm sorry, Why is that funny?
Your dad is dying,
He's literally in hospice as we speak,
And I'm afraid I'm not gonna get there in time,
[Liz] Yeah, I don't know what bullshit
he's been feeding you your entire life,
but, um,
I-- He's not my problem,
He's not my problem,
He's being taken care of by my family,
Just thought you might wanna say goodbye
and to apologize,
[Liz] Apologize? Are you fucking kidding me? [laughs]
Our father turned his life around
once your mom left him,
He became a bishop of our ward
and is a loving grandfather to my kids,
I am sorry to hear about your mom passing,
That must be very hard for you,
I'm fine,
[Kathryn] You're clearly acting out,
No, no, no, no, no, I'm all good,
[Kathryn] You have a home and a community
at the church if you ever choose to come back,
Okay,
Awesome, Well, listen, when I get back to Wilmette,
I'd love to take you to Relief Society,
I feel like that might make you feel better,
Mm-hmm, That's gonna get me back on track,
Great, Well, um,
super nice to meet you,
We pray for you,
Oh, thank you,
Fucking brainwashed fucking bitch,
-[both laughing]
[laughing]
Oh, what's that?
I don't know what, A package,
Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you got packages,
Everybody gets packages,
Is that your dad in there?
Jesus Christ,
-He's not dead, He's dying, -Oh,
[eerie music]
[Geoffrey groaning with pleasure]
[Geoffrey] Oh, fuck!
Oh, Oh-- oh, I'm gonna cum,
-Okay, -[Geoffrey] I'm gonna cum,
-I'm-- I'm cumming, -All right, do it,
[Geoffrey] I'm cumming, [groaning]
Nice,
Do you have a tissue or something?
Ow!
-You wanna get it on the sheet? -Motherfucker!
[Geoffrey] Oh, my core,
-What's that? -It's nothing,
Who is that a portrait of?
[Liz] Joseph Smith,
Whoa! The Mormon guy?
Yeah,
Why do you have that?
It's just a family heirloom,
[scoffs] Are you Mormon or something?
No, but my family is,
Oh, but you like come from them,
So, in your heart of hearts, you are a Mole person,
Dude, absolutely not,
Do you have your own planet?
Have you ever had a birthday party?
They're not fundamentalists,
They're like mainstream Mitt Romney Mormons
And I am not one of them,
[laughs] Okay, Do you still go to church?
You just came all over my back,
Does it seem like I go to a Mormon church?
Doesn't answer though,
Why do you have a picture of Joe Smith under your bed?
It's from my dad, okay?
Why did your dad give you a picture of Joe?
Because he's dying, all right?
I'm-- I'm so fucking sorry, I didn't know,
I'm not, like, upset about it,
I-- I haven't talked to him in years, so,
Well, when my dad died, I was extremely sad
and you're not sad at all,
Congratulations that you had such a good dad
that you were sad when he died
because that is not my situation,
What did he do?
He was a-- he was a really bad guy,
[Geoffrey] Men suck,
Do you want me to go to the funeral with you?
Oh, my God, It's in Utah, Like, I'm not going,
It could be fun, Not fun, It could be cool, Like a--
like a spiritual enema,
I am not interested in having a spiritual enema,
Ooh, are you sure?
-Yeah, -It's nice,
-Ew, -Hm,
I'm happy that he is dying,
Like I-- I'm relieved,
You wouldn't even belie--
No, I'm not, I am not going,
And they want me to apologize to him,
How about he apologizes to me and my dead mom?
-How about that? -Hm,
Huh, Yeah, How about-- how about--
how about I throw this fucking portrait
into his dead face?
And maybe he will apologize then,
Hey, maybe-- maybe not do all of that,
But it sounds like you two
could have some stuff that you could work out,
No throwing Joe,
Whatever, It's just another shitty thing happening to me,
[grunts] Maybe that-- that first part could be good,
Talk to him, Yeah, I love road trips,
You know, I went on one like every summer as a kid,
You know what? It-- This could be my--
Our-- our road trip together,
So, you can watch me scream at my dying father?
[Geoffrey] Yeah, We can work out the details,
We could like rent a car together,
I already have a car,
Wow, That's dope, So, okay, Settled, Settled,
We could do some like-- like some desert cowboy shit,
[blowing and clicking tongue]
That sounds really nerdy,
Exactly, right? Which is why we should do it,
Come on, There's a snake in my boot,
Ah! [hums The Good, the Bad and the Ugly theme]
Blast some Shania Twain, Let's get it,
-Forget it, I don't wanna go, -Come on, Come on,
No, I don't wanna go,
Why not? You're like basically unemployed,
[Liz] I'm freelance,
Isn't that French for unemployed?
Okay, So, I should,,,
[Liz] Yeah, I'm sorry, I just like--
I don't sleep well with someone in my bed,
[Geoffrey] My bad, Yeah,
[Liz] Can you lock the knob on your way out?
You forgot to last time,
Yeah, It's in my skillset,
So, when are we leaving?
I don't know, Tuesday,
Night,
-[birds chirping] -[pensive music]
[phone vibrates]
[Ken] By the late 1860s,
their numbers had already declined,
But I don't know, like,
is 39 too old to be a helicopter pilot?
Like, I would totally give tours of the city
and the skyline and stuff,
but I'm like very concerned about UFOs,
Like, I'm extremely--
Like, the more stuff that comes out
from the Pentagon, the more I'm like,
these-- You know, you think you're alone in the skies,
but like, you know, technology like that,
they can tear through a helicopter so fast
and then like, I just don't-- I don't know,
It's like scary to me to--
It's just nice to be able to hang out, you know?
I'm like really excited just to be here
and to be outta my apartment
'cause when my snake, Gary, died, like,
it changed the whole vibe of my place,
Like, it is so depressing now,
Like, there's just, like, there's a-- a void,
Like a six-foot-long void where my snake used to be,
And then, um--
[Ken] Buffalo bull is, uh, sacrificed,
Its head is impaled,
Ken Burns is a-- a really great guy, you know?
Yeah, Yeah, This is a good episode,
You, uh, you going on a trip? You got a backpack,
Yep,
With, uh, like a boyfriend?
Uh, something like that,
I knew it, All the cool gals,
they're just getting snatched up so fast,
And like, by the time
I even think to make a move, like, the whole--
[Geoffrey] Yo! Liz! Yo, check your phone!
-Who is that? -[Geoffrey] Come on, Tuesday,
Is that like a cop? Because I've got--
I don't know if I have a record, I didn't even, like, check it,
-No, no, It's him, -Who's, uh, who's him?
I gotta go, It was really nice chatting,
Yeah, Is, uh-- Him is not like a-- a cop
or anything like that?
[Liz] No, no, no, Yeah, I'll go,
Because I know I can check it on the website,
I just haven't done that yet,
Uh, I can let you out downstairs,
Oh, yeah, Yeah, yeah, That makes sense,
[chuckles] My bad, I know I can't stay here,
Okay,
Howdy,
-Hello? -Oh, hi,
Oh, is this your boyfriend?
No, no, no, no, no, Not my boyfriend,
Geoffrey, Nice to meet you,
Nice to meet you too,
This is my drug dealer, He just offered to smoke me out,
[chuckles] For sure, Is he coming with us?
Fuck no,
Oh, Where's your car?
Uh, right down Kimball, Um, thank you for the weed,
Yeah, no problem,
I'll see you around,
Well, may your journey take you on the path
you were meant to walk on,
Huh, Bet, You too,
Yeah, Gonna go this way,
Um, my scooter's out that way,
Sick, Okay, let me hook up this Bluetooth,
Get this playlist going, Ah, And then Google Maps,
Oh, I-- I know how to get there,
[melancholic guitar instrumental]
Oh, can you not?
Seriously?
I just can't deal with it this early,
I can roll the windows down and like--
[Geoffrey] Uh, maybe-- maybe later?
Thank you,
[Liz] God, Illinois sucks,
Are you kidding? This is beautiful,
-Central, Like, ew, It's-- -[Geoffrey] Oh!
There's just like Kankakee and Schaumburg
and it all just is flat and boring and it sucks,
Come on, That is some fresh ass air,
Oh, shit, We should get gas,
Hey, don't even sweat it,
I got this one,
So, do you have any siblings?
I hate small talk,
Heard, No small talk here,
Okay, I-- [chuckles] I'm a Libra,
My favorite color is orange
and apparently, I have a stepsister,
Apparently?
[Liz] I just met her for the first time on Saturday,
She seems like a cunt, honestly, Like--
Yeah, I mean, my sister could be a bit of a bitch too,
[grunts] Like, fuck her, She's so righteous and like--
She gonna be at the funeral?
Yeah, I think the whole family is gonna be there,
[Geoffrey] He's at a hospital?
Nope, It's like hospice,
Oh, shit, I'm sorry,
No, no, no, no, Dude! Do not light that here,
You're gonna light the place on fire,
That's a myth,
-Just don't, Please, -Fine,
[Geoffrey] Hey, wh-- where are you going?
-[Liz] On a walk, -[Geoffrey] Can I come?
Sure,
Nice,
Can I smoke here?
Let's go-- Yeah,
So Black people and the church, how do they feel?
Could I even walk in the church?
I mean, you could walk in the church,
but you'd definitely stick out,
And Black men couldn't have the priesthood
until like the late '70s
when the prophet just changed his mind,
Careful,
Wait, wait, So Black people were evil until,
you know, Uncle Joe is like,
"I was on some shit, Black people are chill as fuck,"
And that's the end of it,
[Liz] Yeah, I-- I left when I was really young
and I never went to the temple or anything,
so I don't know that much about it,
[Geoffrey] The Mormon church should pay reparations
-to Black people, -[Liz] What?
[Geoffrey] The Black Mormons,
I mean, they're excluded for what?
Like just until 50 or 60 years ago,
[Liz] I mean, women still can't have the priesthood,
And it's like the men are the only people
who have any kind of power in the church,
[Geoffrey] I mean, that doesn't sound right either,
but I don't know,
[Liz] It's embarrassing, okay?
I know it's weird, but--
[Geoffrey] But it's still, you know, your heritage,
your culture,
[Liz] Dude, what the f--
Stop fucking grilling me, I'm not one of them, okay?
[Geoffrey] When was the last time you spoke to your dad?
[Liz] When I was like 14,
Damn,
My mom got full custody after DCFS came
and a lot of shit went down,
Okay, Okay, Gotcha,
[pensive music]
[dog barking]
[Geoffrey] Looks like about five hours,
[Liz] Fuck! My head is killing me,
[Geoffrey] Yeah?
[Liz] Yeah, I'm gonna get out for a second
and just like stretch my legs, okay?
[Geoffrey] Hey, look at that, America,
Woo!
Ah, smell that air!
Hey, I'm gonna look up a hotel,
Yeah, look in York,
[Geoffrey] Got it,
All right, This one looks the least sketchy,
Two bed,,,
Hey, this is one of the best trips
I've taken in a while,
Are we gonna bone all over that nasty motel room?
Hm, Got a little bit of lice, side of ringworm,
-Hm, -You know, I was kind of hungry,
[Liz chuckles]
We should role play
that you are a trucker on meth
and I am a hooker that you pick up
and we stay in the motel room
and get geeked out of our minds and fuck all night,
Wait, wait, wait, So, did we just meet at the--
the 7-Eleven trucks?
No, the big truck stop, The biggest one,
Ah! You know, not really my kinda fantasy,
I haven't really-- Are you into meth?
Are you gonna fuck me or not?
Maybe if we take off the-- the top sheet,
They don't really wash those,
-Are you gonna? -Hey,
You know, you're a little intense,
Hm! I know,
[man speaking on the radio]
[tooth brush buzzing]
This is our first time sleeping together,
What?
This is the first time we're sleeping together,
[water running]
Dope,
[announcer] Next, we see a group who are known
for their great harmonies, The Statler Brothers,
looking so young as they perform the very first hit--
["Flowers On The Wall" by The Statler Brothers]
Hey, Liz,
Yeah,
Can I sleep in your bed?
I'm too tired to have sex right now,
Me too,
Okay,
Okay, what?
Okay, you-- you can sleep in my bed,
[Geoffrey snoring]
[item rattling]
[item scraping]
[Liz snorting]
[Joan] We have one that gives you a general information,
[Liz] Can-- Any like-- like Oregon Trail stuff?
[Joan] Uh, that would be over by Ogallala,
And then this is Laramie?
-Yep, You wanted Laramie? -Yeah,
[Joan] Oh, the archway--
Oh, yeah,
[Joan] That goes over I-80, It's really kind of fun,
I think this is probably about the same, but,
Fun, Cool,
[Joan] And yeah, you have to-- That's right by I-80,
They have a speed thing that the police use,
[Liz] Looks like it depends, No, that's in like Utah,
[Joan] Yeah, Chimney Rock is kinda--
You have to go outta your way to get to it and see,
Awesome,
And then Laramie is--
Fort Cody is more or less like a tourist--
[Liz] The great American road trip,
-Yeah, -Wow, Cool,
Now, if you ever--
If you wanted to get off the road--
I-80 a little bit like I said, it's called,
um, Carhenge and--
-Hey, Hey, wake up, -What?
I found a bunch of Oregon Trail shit in the lobby,
-Yeah? -Yeah,
Oh, that's cool,
And some like Mormon pioneer stuff,
Oh yeah, True, Let's look,
Oh, right, Right, This-- this--
Um, Joan in the lobby said that,
um, Fort Laramie was like this really important like,
trading post or something,
Um, and it looks fucking sick, right?
-That is kinda cool, -Yeah,
That cabin,
We should go,
-Yeah? -Yeah,
-To Laramie? -Yeah,
I mean, isn't that a little bit out the way?
It's fine,
You were gonna--
Wait, you were gonna say all that stuff to your dad,
Let's do a detour first, It'll only take like a day,
Okay, Yeah, sure, Fuck, yeah, Why not? Why not?
-Cool, Fun, -Yeah,
We'll have fun, It'll be awesome,
Yeah, Come on, Cowboy shit,
Yeah, Cowboy shit!
Ah!
[groans] Cowboy shit, Parkour!
[Western acoustic instrumental]
[Liz] I wanna like look at, like,
old, like, prisons and stuff and like the gallows,
[Geoffrey] Yeah?
[Liz] Oh, God, I don't like babies,
[Geoffrey] Oh,
[Liz] Why do people bring to children places?
I'm gonna break it,
No, you're not,
It withstood all these years,
That kid's gonna get dysentery or scurvy,
Yeah, Fucking fall off the wagon,
-Ooh, -What is it?
Like, is this for like kids?
This is a baby park,
-This is for babies? -[laughs]
[Geoffrey] This real life one is good, [laughs]
Dysentery die, [laughs]
You didn't bring a spare wheel,
-[both] Die! -[both laugh]
[Liz] Take me, Lord Jesus Joseph Christ Smith,
-Joseph Smith, -Joseph,
This is the final operation,
Gordon B, Hinckley love it,
Let us into Mormon heaven,
[Liz] Can you feel the immigrant? The--
All the white people being like, "I own the West,"
Can you feel that energy? Can you feel the power?
[Geoffrey] I'm being filled with privilege,
[Liz] You have to be really skinny to be a horse girl,
[Geoffrey] That is a stereotype that I will not stand for,
[Liz] A cow,
[Geoffrey] Here, you try this on, Let's see,
Do I look cheesy?
[whistles] Oh! No, no, no, You--
Oh, So, you're like, "Too, too,"
[laughs] This is a-- this is a kink,
[both laughing]
[Geoffrey] Okay, This-- this is why I get out here,
[indistinct]
Hey!
Hey, yo!
Will you marry me?
[Liz] Dude, stop trying to fuck the cows!
Cows are awesome,
[both laughing]
[Liz] Ew!
[pensive music]
[Geoffrey] What?
[Liz] Oh, my God! Just--
[both laughing]
[Geoffrey] Get out of here! Shit!
Okay, I'll keep my distance,
[Liz] Do we go in?
[Geoffrey] Yeah, Come on,
[Liz] I saw, like, signs for rattlesnakes,
Oh, hey, don't worry,
I saw 'em all the time when I was camping with my dad,
So, here's what you do,
You hear it, you stare it down,
you just back away and it leaves you the fuck alone,
[Liz] Uh,,, [laughs] I don't know,
Come on, Hey,
[Liz] Ah [laughs]
Oh, my God,
It looks like a huge dick, [laughs]
[Geoffrey] You know, I read in
a early pioneer memoir that the thing
that really just pushed them to go out west
was Dick Mountain,
[Liz] Dick Mountain,
I bet there's so many ghosts out here,
[Geoffrey] Yes,
[Liz] Do you think if we fucked right here,
those pioneer ghosts would possess me
and kill you or haunt you for the rest of your life?
Uh, that's likely possible, You know it's possible,
Wanna fuck?
Here?
Mm-hmm,
Like around the snakes?
Yeah, Why not?
How about the backseat?
No, Come on, Let's do it,
-Yeah? -Yeah,
Whoa,
Shit! What-- what is that? What's that?
-Oh, my God! Oh, my God! What? -What the fuck is that?
-It's a snake!
-Oh, my God! -It's a snake!
[Geoffrey] It's a snake in my boot,
Fuck! My shoes have come untied, Got it,
[both panting]
-[thud] -[Liz laughs]
[Geoffrey] Yeah, okay, okay,
[indistinct]
[Liz] Uh, wait, no, Um, let me go on top,
-Let me go on top, -[Geoffrey] Yeah, Yeah,
[Liz] Um, stand over here,
[Geoffrey] What?
[Liz] Yeah, Stand like-- like right here,
[birds chirping]
[Geoffrey] Okay, Okay,
[Liz] Right there, Right there, And look,,,
[laughs] ,,,look off into the distance,
This way, The big dick, Look at it,
-[Geoffrey] Look at that, -[Liz laughs]
Look at that,
[Liz] Turn around, Turn around,
[Liz laughs]
Look-- Just look off,
Perfect,
Beautiful,
You want some?
One puff,
It's not a joint, it's menthol,
-[laughs] -I don't know the difference,
[Liz laughs]
So, you have car sex often?
Um, I have before, Yeah,
Yeah,
When did you first start having sex?
With guys or girls?
Um, both,
Um, with girls, 13, With guys, like 15 or 16,
Cool,
What about you?
Guys or girls?
Both,
Uh, girls, 17, And guys, 21,
["No Wind" by Anna McClellan]
I'm hungry,
Can we eat?
Oh, absolutely,
[Liz] We just worked out so much,
That was the most athletic I've been my entire life,
I'm thinking about what he looks like right now
all sick and shit in his bed,
[cicadas chirping]
Oh?
I can't wait to tell him how much
he fucked up me and my mom in front of his new family,
They should know,
When you said, "I'm gonna take his portrait
"and throw it in his dying face,"
I said, "That is a badass,"
You're cool, And a little spooky,
Well, I am gonna take the portrait
and throw on his dead face,
Yeah, as a metaphor?
No, like, literally,
Okay,
I'm sorry I dragged you into my shit,
You didn't,
Smoker now, [laughs]
You can have that back,
[laughing] You're a nerd,
You're out here with a nerd, Oh, my God, What?
I know, I'm very aware,
Oh, she likes nerds,
No, not usually,
-[cicadas chirping] -Shh, We're smoking,
Shh? Who's that to?
This dude was making so much noise,
You're gonna wake the neighbors,
Oh, my God, What? Have you lost your mind?
Yes, We've been in a car for so long,
Oh, my God, [laughs]
-Dude, -Have you not?
[laughing] The Honda does not sound good,
[both laughing]
-It really doesn't, -We're gonna die, [laughs]
[both laughing]
Oh, God, He's gonna be the only one who knows,
What the fuck? Who is this person?
-I need to pee, -Sure,
Can you pump it?
Pump it?
-Yeah, -How?
[Liz] Oh, my God, All right,
You open this, unscrew this, take this out,
-Sure, Sure, -Pay for it,
Do this one, the cheap one, It doesn't matter,
-Done, -Hey, do you want anything?
Yeah, Get me a honey bun,
[Liz] Oh,
[console beeping]
[gas guzzling]
Oh, shit, Shit, Shit, Shit,
[Liz] They had 'em,
What?
-Honey buns, -Oh, okay,
-Can I have some? It looks good, -Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Totally, Totally,
Let's find our hotel for the night,
[Liz] Okay,
[eerie music]
-[Liz] Oh, my God, try this, -I'm good, Thanks,
Why? It's bison, It's so good,
-It's sad, -Oh, come on,
People have been eating bison for forever,
White people have made bison almost go extinct,
They used to be everywhere,
and we haven't seen one this whole trip,
Okay,
Where you going?
[cicadas chirping]
Oh, damn, Okay, Game on,
All right, so what? Are we drinking these straight?
You wanted to be a cowboy, right?
Excuse you, I am a cowboy,
Okay, cowboy,
[both sigh]
I was gonna say, you know,
let's make a toast, but sure, why not?
Oh, okay, Let's do another,
Okay, sure, Yeah, yeah, yeah,
All right, What are we cheersing to?
Uh, to the West, To the mighty buffalo, To--
-Mmm, to Joseph Smith, -To Joseph fucking Smith,
-[both groaning] -Okay,
-I'm good, But-- -Are you sure?
Yeah, but you can really knock 'em back,
-Okay, -You have no idea,
Hoo!
[indistinct shouting]
[water running]
Hi, Oh, hi,
I'm really glad you came here with me,
I am too,
Hmm,
Do you wanna date?
Like, actually date,
Like, you know, like, when we get back to Chicago?
-Geoffrey, [chuckles] -What?
I'm not in a place to, like, start a relationship right now,
Yeah, yeah, Totally, Yeah,
You have a lot on your plate, I got you,
Yeah, Like, I don't even have space in my brain,,,
for that, Like, I would not be a good girlfriend,
I'm not asking you to be a good girlfriend,
I'm just asking you to be you, you know,
[laughs] You-- [laughing]
You would not like me if I was myself,
What? Yeah, I-- I would and I do,
Dude, like, really?
Like, you're doing this to me right now?
You're putting all of this pressure-- Like, I'm really--
I'm really going through it right now,
My dad is dying, and you're--
-dating would be any different than what we're doing right now,
You don't like me,
You just like the idea of me,
-and-- -Liz, I--
-I like you, -No, you don't, [laughs]
I've been texting you every day since we met,
And I thought on this trip that I--
I don't know, I felt like I really
could be with you for, like, a long time,
Hmm? Are you--
are you bringing up marriage right now?
Okay, No, No, Not-- not exactly, but I mean,,,
it's a thing people do, but we don't have to do that,
I mean, it's-- I-- it's-- I don't know,
We're about to turn 30,
which is a little weird, you know, [laughs]
You're just lonely,
What? No!
Well, not now, I mean, I-- I-- No-- no!
I-- Liz, what I'm saying is why--
why the fuck would I go out to Utah,
fucking Utah, if I wasn't in love with you?
[giggling]
[giggling continues]
So, all of that-- all of that shit
about closure and, um, wanting me to say goodbye
was just so you could fulfill this like, weird fantasy of a--
of a fucking family road trip because you miss your dad,
Wow,
Where are you going?
[Liz] I'm going on a walk,
We're in the middle of fucking nowhere,
You're gonna go on a walk at midnight?
Yeah, I need to get the fuck outta here,
["Midway" by Scott Tuma]
[Liz] Cheers, motherfucker,
Where have you been?
-[Liz] None of your business, -Whatever, I'm going to sleep,
[sighs] Can you turn the lights off?
-Why? -[Geoffrey] I'm fucking tired,
[laughs] We don't need to play house anymore,
We don't have to go to sleep at the same time,
Hm,
[Geoffrey] What are you doing?
I need to use the restroom,
Do I need your permission to use the restroom now, husband?
You're fucking impossible,
[soft sigh]
[dramatic musical sting]
[birds chirping]
[soft grunt]
-[metallic clattering] -What the fuck?
-[Geoffrey] Get up, -No, I need to sleep more,
It's 10 o'clock, We gotta check out,
-Can you drive? -No,
I told you I don't have a license,
So? You're not gonna get pulled over,
Dude, look at me, I'm 100% gonna get pulled over,
[groans]
Oh, are you still drunk?
Yeah,
Jesus, Are you okay to drive?
Yep, This ain't my first rodeo,
[sharp exhale] [coughs]
-We're gonna need some food, -What?
You gonna need some food for that alcohol,
Oh my God,
[birds chirping]
[pills rattling]
What's that?
-My meds, -Your prescription?
Yeah, they're my meds,
-Can you pay for the next motel? -What?
I paid for gas this entire time, It's expensive,
Can you pay for the next motel?
Okay, I can put it on one of my credit cards, I think,
Okay, You ready?
Uh, can you get me a Gatorade from inside?
Drink water,
Ew,
Can you check and see if I have any service?
Nope,
Fuck!
[Geoffrey] Have you thought about
what you're gonna say to him?
Yes, Constantly,
[Geoffrey] What did he do to you?
Why do you wanna hurt him so bad?
'Cause he deserves it,
Okay, So what did he do?
How did he hurt you? Was it like--
was it physical? Or, uh,,,
-Stop looking at me like that, -[Geoffrey] Like what?
Like, I'm a dog at the pound about to be euthanized,
I just-- I feel bad, Okay?
I mean, I tried to hurt him too, One time,
I lit his sleeve on fire when--
when he was sleeping, and when he woke up,
he didn't even try to get me in trouble,
He couldn't even tell my mom
because he knew that what he did was worse,
I mean, stop it, Like, stop feeling bad, Stop it,
-What's wrong? -I need to puke,
What-- Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Do we have a plastic bag?
No, no, Not in the car, Not in the car,
[coughing]
Can we leave yet?
[Liz] Not yet, I'm still really car-sick,
It's not car-sick if you're just hung over,
Oh my God, Fuck, there's service,
[Kathryn] Hi, Elizabeth,
Please give me a call back,
Dad isn't doing well,
and I think his time is coming soon,
-Oh, fuck! Fuck! Fuck! -What is it?
I don't know, She's not answering,
[phone ringing]
-Hi, Kathryn? -[Kathryn] Elizabeth?
Yeah, What-- what's going on? How's he doing?
[Kathryn] He passed this afternoon,
[Liz sobbing]
[Kathryn] Elizabeth, are you there?
-Yeah, I'm here, -[Kathryn] I'm sorry,
I have to go take care of things,
-[sobbing] Wait, Kathryn? -[Kathryn] Yeah?
Um, I'm kind of in the middle of nowhere right now, and, um,
I'm on my way to Provo and I'm-- Do you have like--
Can I stay in one of grandma's rooms?
Like, just for a night or two? Hello?
I have really bad reception, Can you hear me?
-Hello? -[Kathryn] Our cousins
from Idaho are staying in all the guest rooms,
There's no extra beds,
Um, there's-- there's gonna be a service for him
after sacrament meeting on Sunday,
But you don't-- you don't have to come,
[sobbing] Okay, I'm really sorry, Kathryn,
[Kathryn] Bye, Elizabeth, Just you take care of yourself,
[sobbing]
[sobbing continues]
[somber music]
Yeah,
We should go,
It's gonna be dark soon, We should go,
Okay, Okay, Back to Chicago?
No, to Provo,
[slow slide guitar music]
Who are you talking to?
I can't afford a motel tonight,
Should we go back to Chicago?
No, we can stay at my cousin's on my mom's side,
They're Mormon, but,,,
not, like, as intense as my dad's family,
We'll probably have to sleep in different beds,
-Oh, why? -'Cause we're not married,
Oh, okay, So, you're close with them?
No, But,,, said we could stay there
and it's only a couple of hours away, so,,,
Oh, that's nice of them,
[sighs] Mormons are nice,
[music fades]
[knocking]
-[Jordan] Liz! -[Liz] Hi, Hey,
[Jordan] Oh, my gosh,
I haven't seen you since you were tiny,
[Liz] Yeah, it's been a long time,
-[Jordan] Hi! -[Lindsay] Come on in! Welcome,
[distant laughter]
-This is my wife, Lindsay, -Hi,
[Liz] Hi, This is Geoffrey, my,,, friend,
-It's so nice to meet you, -[Jordan] Nice to meet you,
-[Geoffrey] Wow, Hi, -[Jordan] Hi,
-This is Matilda, -Hi,
-[Liz] She talks, -Yeah, she does,
[laughs]
Oh, my gosh, look at all your stuff,
Let's, um, put it in the living room
and, um, get washed up for dinner, It's almost ready,
And,,, so glad you guys are here, [laughs]
-Make yourselves comfortable, -Okay,
-It's gonna be fun! -[laughs]
Do you wanna see my scooter?
Uh,,,
[Matilda] It's right outside,
[whispers] I don't wanna see her scooter,
Dude, it's probably a sick scooter,
[softly] No,,,
[Geoffrey] I can see you two at like, Burning Man,
-Oh, stop! -What's that?
-Lindsay! -What?
You know what Burning Man is,
No, I don't,
-Geoffrey? -[Geoffrey] Uh,,,
-What? -He'll tell you,
[Geoffrey] I can't really explain it,
-It sounds violent, -I, like, know they have,
like a-- like a bartering system, so like--
[Liz] It's where people are naked and do a bunch of drugs,
[Geoffrey] That too,
You know about Burning Man?
Well, I mean, I-- I saw a video on the internet,
[laughs] I don't know, I get out a little bit,
Mm, Wow, This is great,
That's sweet of you to say,
It's your mom's recipe,
I'm trying it for the first time,
-Oh, really? -Yeah,
Wow, No, this is very close to the way she makes it,
-[Lindsay chuckles] -Would you guys like a beer?
-Oh, -Whoa, Cool,
-You drink beer? -Yeah,
-Do you? -[all laughing]
Yeah, Like a lot,
-You want a beer, Geoffrey? -[Geoffrey] Yeah, for sure,
I'll have one too, please,
Jordan, do you ever see your mom?
[Jordan] Not as much as we'd like,
She's up in Ogden now,
[Lindsay] I bet she would love to see you, and you too,
-That's nice, -Isn't she still super Mormon?
[Jordan] Um, she's pretty active in the church,
but that doesn't mean she wouldn't want to meet you,
Maybe we could have her down while you're here?
She doesn't care that you guys, like, drink beer and--
Oh, she doesn't love it,
but we just don't do it in front of her,
[laughs]
It's a little awkward when they pray,
but we're used to it,
Matilda loves her,
so we wanna keep that relationship
even though we're living in sin,
[laughs]
That's hard,
What part?
[Geoffrey] How you pretend you're like,
someone else for your family,
I didn't know that, like, really hardcore Mormons
could even talk to their family
who aren't active in the church,
Like, I thought there was some kind of--
I think my mom is a lot less hardcore than your dad was,
Well, my dad's side is scary,
Hm,
You know, I-- I'm so sorry about your dad,
Thanks,
I hadn't really talked to him in a while, but,,,
Have you heard anything about a funeral?
Mm-hmm, It's this Sunday after sacrament meeting,
Well, you're welcome here for as long as you need,
And Geoffrey too,
Oh, it's okay, I-- Geoffrey's gonna want to
get back to Chicago as soon as possible,
What? Says who? No, No,
It's fun to try new things, Provo's dope,
You hear that, honey? Provo's dope,
That should go on a sign: "Provo is Dope,"
"Provo, it's Dope,"
[all laughing]
How did you two meet?
-Oh, uh, Tinder, -Mutual friend,
Hm, Sounds like a good match,
[laughs]
Uh, do you have a bathroom?
I do, Yeah, Up the stairs to the right,
[Geoffrey] Uh, do you have any hot sauce?
[muffled chatter]
[Kathryn] Hi, Elizabeth, Please give me a callback,
Dad isn't doing well and I think his time is coming,
You should go out tomorrow, You should see all the sights,
-Yeah? -Yeah,
Yeah, There's great hiking,
There's really cool architecture to see at BYU,
-What's BYU? -Uh, Brigham Young University,
It's where a lot of Mormons go to college,
-Jordan and I went there, -That's where we met,
-Yeah, -[Matilda] Mommy, Daddy?
I had a scary dream,
[Lindsay] Oh, honey, did we wake you up?
-You had a scary dream? -[Jordan] You had a nightmare?
-[Lindsay] Yeah? -Yeah,
[Jordan] Okay,
Can I stay up with you?
No, sweet pea, We need to put you to bed,
It's so late,
Come on, I'll take you up to your bed,
[softly] Okay,
Night, baby, Night,
She keeps having these nightmares,
We don't know what to do about it,
[Kathryn] Please give me a callback,
Dad isn't doing well and I think his time is coming--
[Jordan whispering] Did you just feel a little left out?
Yeah, that's what I thought,
You know what I like to do when I have a scary dream?
I try to just say a little thank you
for all the things that I love in my life,
Do you know what I love most?
I love you the most,
Okay, Get ready for bed,
[Lindsay] Are you two thinking about having kids someday?
-Oh, Uh-- -No, I had my tubes tied,
Wait, what?
Yeah, when I was 23,
Hey! Hey, is she okay?
Yeah, I think she just felt a little left out,
-Aw, [laughs] -You guys want another beer?
-Sure, -I'm pretty tired,
I think I'm good,
[Lindsay] Yeah, Oh gosh, Of course,
You've had such a long day, I'll make the couch up for you,
-Thank you so much, -Mm-hmm,
Wanna see what my dad gave me?
-Money, I hope, -Hm, I wish,
Look,
-[laughs] Oh,,, -Are you kidding?
Mm-hmm, My stepsister dropped it off,
Gosh,
She said he wanted me to have it,
-Sounds like a slap in the face, -Yeah,
This exact same portrait used to be in my bishop's office,
Oh, LDS art is so strange, It's so American,
Yeah, It's so weird, [laughs]
-Mm-hmm, -Yeah,
Okay, Um, uh, well, I hope you're comfortable,
Yes, thank you,
Jordan and I get up pretty early,
but we'll try to be quiet,
And if you need anything, we're upstairs, okay?
All right,
-Okay, Good night, Thank you, -Have a good night,
They seem really happy,
They do,
I can't tell if it's real or not though,
Yeah, me neither,
-I don't think it is, -Who knows?
I think my cousin is gay,
Yo, I didn't wanna say anything,
but I dated a lot of guys like him,
Yeah, me too, [laughs]
Yo, boy,
Bet there are a lot of closets in Utah,
How are you feeling about the funeral?
-I think I wanna go, -Hmm,
What was your dad's funeral like?
Well, I mean generally I think funerals are pretty bad vibes,
but it was a nice service,
It was a closed casket
because he got into a pretty fucked car accident,
Oh, fuck! That's terrible,
Yeah,
I miss him,
Why'd you come with me?
I think I was looking for an excuse
to spend more time with you,
Me too, I think,
Do you wanna sleep on the same couch? [laughs]
We just won't tell them,
I can't believe how normal they are,
Shh! They'll hear you, [laughs]
I'm just so bad, [laughs]
It's just like different and weird, and,,,
By different do you mean boring?
Yeah, Yeah,
But, like, maybe-- maybe boring's okay,
Yeah, Maybe,
But yeah, they're boring as fuck,
[laughs]
I'm glad you're not boring, Liz,
Hm,
[groans] Okay, I'm sleepy,
Okay, Good night, Geoffrey,
Good night, Liz,
It's only two bites, I'll take a bite of banana
if you take a bite of cereal,
I ate-- I ate the cereal,
[Lindsay] Did you eat your cereal? Yeah? Good,
-Mm-hmm, Okay, -Is Geoff and Liz married?
[Lindsay] [shushing] Matilda, they're sleeping,
-Are they? -No, sweetie, They're not,
Then why are they sleeping together like you and Mommy?
-Did you finish your cereal yet? -Yes,
Okay, Are you ready to go to school?
-Mm-hmm, -[Lindsay] Okay,
Okay, Bye, Wait, bye, Come here,
Hey, where are you going? Come here,
Come here, Come here, [smooching, laughing]
-Okay, Okay, -Goodbye,
Bye, Bye, Have a great day,
Goodbye, Love you, Have a good one,
I'll see you later, Okay, Bye, I'll see you later,
-Bye, -Bye, Yeah, Text me,
-Were we too loud? -No, No, you're good,
Good morning, You want some coffee?
Yeah,
Am I gonna go to hell for it?
-Do you have any plans today? -No, [laughs] No,
There's a really good hike not too far from here,
A hike? Mmm,,,
Okay, It's not so insane, Matilda's done it in flip-flops,
All right, Sounds kinda fun actually,
You're really pretty,
Thank you,
[chuckles] So are you,
You look just like your mom,
[heavy rock playing on the radio]
[birds chirping]
["Ghosts in the Walls" by Tommy Allen]
Flip flops? What the fuck!
[panting] Holy shit!
[panting]
[gasping breath] oh, my god,
Oh, shit! I tore the letter, Fuck,
[organ music]
What are they holding?
Casseroles,
What is a casserole?
[laughs]
Lindsay's a lot smaller than me,
[laughs] It's, like, really uncomfortable,
You look perfect, You look wholesome,
[exhales]
Hmm?
[laughs]
Should I still throw it at the casket?
-Sure, -[exhales] Okay,
Hey, Hey, We don't have to go if you don't want to,
-I wanna go, -Yeah?
I'll be right here if you need me, okay?
[music fades]
["Cowboy Shit" by Wilk]