رسانه اینترنتی مای موویز MyMoviz جامعترین سایت فیلم و سریال
Okay, Lily, sweetie, do you want me to pack your bathing suit for the party?
Only if youwant to wear it,
Is that the sass we love or the backtalk we hate?
Unclear, Yeah,
You know, there\'s a fine line between quippy and mean,
I show her "Golden Girls," It\'s just not sinking in,
Okay, Honey?
Mitchell: Honey, it\'s gonna be fun,
Longines said lots of kids are gonna be there, Yeah,
Exactly, I\'m not gonnawear a bathing suit
in front of a bunch of judgy tweens,
Ah,
It\'s Daddy time,
Now?
Shouldn\'t we go talk to Lily?
Oh,
[ Door opens ]
-Hey! -Hey!
Aw, hell, [ Sighs ]
Honey, what have we always taught you?
Love whoyou are, asyou are,
Yes! Being comfortable in your skin
isthe most attractive thing,
I mean, look at us,
We\'re hardly Christy Turlington and Naomi Campbell,,,
Could\'ve picked dudes,
,,,but we know what we have to offer,
and we\'re proud of it,
Look, it\'s importantthat you go to this party
and you -- you feel goodabout who you are,
I mean, you havea gorgeous body,No, thank you,
Yeah, you\'re a little hottie!
Pass!I mean, if I were a cartoon wolfand I saw you,
my eyes would be like"Aah-ooo-gaa!" Stop!
I will go if you never talk to me like this again,
Hmm,
--Captions by VITAC--
♪♪
So, Mr, Boss, how did I do at the open house?
Uh, honestly?
Your vibe was kinda tenseand the staging was so-so,
This is big time, Gloria,You\'re not a homemaker anymore,
I need you baking cookies, fluffing pillows,
being bright and cheeryfor our guests,
Son of a preacher man! Someone stole our sign again!
What kind of sick mind messeswith a man\'s livelihood?
You\'re kidding, Another one?
I\'m afraid so, Lindsay,
Who keeps taking our signs?
Don\'t worry, Sam, we\'re going to find out,
Miss, do you have any enemies?
Are you in a blood feud?
Gloria,
Have you recently joined a political opposition?
I-I-If -- If I may -- Lindsay, we\'re gonna get you a new sign,
um, find out who\'s doing this, and put a stop to it,
Okay, G, time to let you in
on the dark underbelly of our business,
Someone is trying to take money from my pockets,
and I need to find out who,
Do you need me to goand shake some trees for you?
I did that kind of jobin Colombia,
I didn\'t get paid,but I got great references,
and my cousingot to keep one ear,
Oh, I-I-I-I\'ll handle it,
Okay, But I do need you to replace that sign ASAP,
A-A post without a sign is so humiliating,
Oh, did it sell?
No!
This is anarchy!Oh!
Keep going!
My internship with Phil is almost over,
He said that he would hire me full time if I did good,
So, I need to find who\'s stealing his signs
to prove my worth,
Luckily, I have a plan,
A couple of weeks ago, Jay put a tracker thingy on Stella
because she kept getting out,
She was down the block, mooning over that Chihuahua again,
I mean, what does she see in him?
He thinks he\'s so cool
with that dumb handkerchief around his neck,
I\'m going to steal Stella\'s tracker,
and I\'m gonna hide it on the sign to catch the crook,
And then maybe Stella will get some alone time
with her Chihuahua,
With that pushed-in face,
she could do a lot worse than a Latin lover,
Here you go, Ms, Dunphy,
Nice and hot, like you like it,
He\'s nice and hot, like I like it,
-Mom, -Wow,
No, it\'s cool,Time\'s up for dudes, not us,
I mean, how great is this?
The Dunphy ladies crushing life,having it all,
Okay, take it down a notch, We know what you\'re doing,
My mom was trying to show us
how great it is to be a working woman
\'cause she knows how torn I am about leaving my babies,
It\'s like, oh, it\'ll break my heart to be away from them,
but as a feminist,
I want to show those snarky bitches at the office
how fast my body bounced back,
Mom obviously wants me
to take this big corporate job offer I got,
but they\'re all so corrupt and mercenary,
I want to use science to improve the world,
like I did in Antarctica,
Back off, you disgusting snow chicken!
Do not [bleep] with me!
Alex, Antarctica made you miserable,
and, Haley, you werereally blossoming at work,
And I get it, but I regretnot going back to work sooner,
and I don\'t want youto resent your children,
Like you did?
As was the fashion at the time,
[ Cellphone ringing ][ Sighs ] Work,
Everybody needs Claire,
[ Cellphone beeps ]I love it,
Hey, Margaret,What\'s going on, sweetie?
I\'m here with our lawyer,
Apparently, there\'s beensome kind of a data breach,
She\'d like you to swing by,
Well, that\'s gonna have to wait till Monday
because I am having lunch downstairs with my girls,
So, you enjoy your new hummingbird feeder,
I am loving those pics,
[ Cellphone beeps, thuds ]
She\'s a bitof a cautionary tale,
Haley, you have to admit it feels good
to put on nice clothesand get out in the world
and not have anyone pawingat your boobs for two seconds,
Oh, God, yes!
Dylan is really going through something,
I think he might be regressing,
To what?
And, Alex, I know whatthat company is offering you,
Doesn\'t it feel niceto be wanted?
Of course it does, but I don\'t want to sell out,
There is nothing wrongwith taking care of Alex first,
Hey, you can save the worldon the weekends
with all the money you\'re gonna make,
♪ She works hard for the money ♪
Sing it with me,
We don\'t know what that is,
♪ So hard for it, honey
Are you making this up?
♪ She works hard for the money ♪
Sorry to interrupt,
Hi, girls, Hi,
I need to borrow your momfor a bit,
Okay,
So, you know how our smartclosets have scanning cameras
so people cantry on clothes virtually?
Uh-huh, Apparently, we havebeen recording people
without their knowledge,
Or their clothes,
Oh, my God,
I have one of those closets,
Oh, I-I talk sexyto the mirror in there,
What if those movies get out?
I can\'t have my motherseeing them,
Okay, hang on, Mm-hmm,
Hey, girls, I\'m gonnabe back in a sec,
I\'m just gonna run upstairs andsing "Happy Birthday" to Josie,
Just make her day,
God, work is so rewarding,
I almost forgot what her face looks like
when she\'s telling the truth,
Yeah,
Come on, Manny!
Where the hell\'s your mother?
Jay: That\'s what you\'re wearingto my club?
I\'m headed right for the spa,
and their robes stink like old rich guys --
cigars, Scotch,
and the panicked sweatof impending irrelevance,
Easy, Hemingway, we earned that smell,
[ Door opens ]Gloria: iHola!
Finally, she\'s here!Hurry! We\'re gonna be late!
I am sorry,I\'m only here for a few seconds,
I have to go back to work,
Again?
Jay, I finally found a job that I love,
That\'s why I\'ve been humping my bust,
Is that the right way --No,No, No, no, It\'s not,
I promise you, I am all yours this afternoon,
Eh,Stella, mama!
You\'re gonna take good care of my boys, right?
You\'re gonna take good care,
Jay: Don\'t patronize her,
Be a constant presence in her life
or you\'ll stoke her abandonment issues,
Gloria\'s been working a ton,
so I\'ve been picking up the slack at home, which is fine,
It\'s just, even when she\'s here,she\'s not here,
Guess what happened today,[ Door closes ]
So, I\'m at the park with Joe,
Now, you know all the nanniesthink that Dakota\'s mom
and Luca\'s dad are"twisting the sheets"?
Well, this morning, theycame together, sipping coffees,
leaning up against the jungle gym,
giggling like it\'s nothing,
Now, they had to know what that looked like,[ TV turns on ]
[ Chuckles ] Ay, my little busy bee,
Tell me when dinner is ready, You\'re the best,
[ Woman speaking Spanish on TV ]
Why, yes, Gloria,
This is a new track suit, Thanks for noticing,
It\'s not that hard,
Oh, it\'s so hot,
I can\'t waitto jump in that pool,
I never said I\'d get in the pool,
Okay, Lily, stop,
You are an exotic Vietnamese beauty,
Scarlett Johanssonwould play you in a movie
until Twitter told her she couldn\'t,
Doesn\'t matter what other peoplethink of us,
It matters what we think of ourselves,Right,
Lily: Oh, Great,
It\'s all gays, I can do whatever I want,
I\'m invisible,
Aah!
I\'m okay!
Hey, girl, hey, Hey, girl, hey,
Wait, what\'s going on? I thought you said there were gonna be kids at this party,
No, I said young people,
Look at the pool,
It\'s boy soup,
I like me some eye candy,
Okay, well, we like actual candy,
Okay, we -- we can\'t take our shirts off at this smoke show,Yeah,
Calm down, You aren\'t even closeto the oldest ones here,
Look,
Oh, Oh, thank God,
I was feeling --Well, I guess that --
Mm, Okay, my grandma was right,
I ended up in Hell,
I thought about which of my competitors
might want to take me down,
and I kept coming back to one guy --
Gil Thorpe,
A man tells you enough times
he\'s gonna "thorpedo" your career,
you start to believe he might do something "therrible,"
Well, not thistime,
Easy on the pressure there, Albert,
Sorry, It\'s my first time,
Dunphy?That\'s right,
Well, look at you -- landed on your feet
after the real estate business chewed you up and spit you out,
It didn\'t spit me out,I\'m here to scare you,
By Sweeney Todd-ing me?
Don\'t emasculate my move,
I\'m Celie from "The Color Purple,"
Now, stay still,
I\'d hate for you to loseyour head, like I lost my si--
Son of a -- Ah! I dropped it,
Where\'s the blue stuff?
Just admit it,
You\'ve been taking the signs off my house on Sycamore,
Phil, I\'m gay now,
Between pumping ironand bummin\' out my dad,
I don\'t have timefor our petty rivalry,
But if you ask me,
this stunt\'s got Sue Liuwritten all over it,
Sue Liu,
Are you done?
I have a showing at 10:00,
Hello, Sue Liu,
Phil,
So glad you landed on your feet,
I\'m still a Realtor!
Son of a bitch,Can one thing go my way?
Penny for your thoughts?
Why? It\'d just be my penny anyway,
Obviously you\'re hurt
because Mom\'s been neglecting you lately,
Can I give you a little advice? Nope,
Please don\'t ice her,I\'m gonna ice her,
Jay, you\'re just gonna make things worse
if you act like a child,
Hey, I\'m a child,
That triggers meand hurts my feelings,
Damn hippie private school,
Who\'s gonna fight the wars, guys? Who?
Rather than push Mom away, give her a reason to come home,
For years, women have been waiting at their door
for their husbands, martini in hand,
wearing nothing but Saran Wrap,
Maybe it\'s your turn,
You don\'t want to see thisin Saran Wrap,
It\'s a metaphor, Come on,
Do something sweet, and I bet the whole thing turns around,
Who knows better how to love my mother, me or you?
You better get a jobwith mental-health benefits
before all that bubbles up,
So, what is our legal liability?
Oh, me?
You\'re our lawyer, right?
Right,
Well, still getting updates, but so far,
we know the Peeping Toms were a couple of our engineers,
Whatever happened to the good old days
when people just drilled a hole in the wall?
That\'s the stand you want to take?
We can keep this contained, right?
I mean, our fingerprints aren\'t on it,
I\'m super sorry to do this, but,,,activate closet,
[ Closet beeps ]Claire closet voice: Hello, there,
Are you ready to get undressed?
Why did I agree to do that?
Stand at the mirror and turn around
so I can assess your body,
I\'m basically a porn director,
What do we do?
Oh, me again?
Um, gosh, I don\'t know,
They don\'t teach you this at Harvard,,,
or where I went,
Mom?
♪ ,,,birthday to you
No luck getting people to sing with you today, huh?
Are you okay?
You seemed stressed when you left,
-No, I\'m fine, -Oh, no!
[ Hushed ] Not now,
The server with the dirtypictures got hacked,
They could be anywhere,This is so bad,
Oh, me "not now"? [ Clicks tongue ]
Hacked dirty pictures?
Mom, what is going on?
Uh, don\'t answer that,She could be wearing a wire,
Oh, no, It\'s just a bad bra,
Josie: Oh, my God,
The pictures from our closets
are all over a Russian porn site,
Oh, geez, My mother doesn\'t knowI have a tattoo,
I knew I shouldn\'t have taken a corporate job!
Why didn\'t I stay home with my babies?!
Yeah, you were a bad hire,
Okay, come on,
Why don\'t we just tellLily one of us isn\'tfeeling well and leave?
We can\'t,
We just took a giant standabout loving our hideous bodies,
Dads! Get in the pool!
Oh, my God, She\'s making people look at us,
Okay, yeah, maybe in a sec!
Okay, we have to hide from her,
You have to admit, the irony of this is delicious,
Yeah, well, look at us,
Apparently we thinkeverything is delicious,
I\'m ashamed of how ashamed we are,
I mean, what other grown men
would be so consumed by their own vanity?
Bobby: Ah! Close the door!
They can smell the decay!
It\'s just Mitch and Cam,
We were afraid you were one of the beautiful boys,
Please, I\'ve never felt so hairy,
Well, get in line,
This queen only has one trimmer,
How horrible is this party?
I\'m a skinny little girlwith twig arms,
It\'s all anyone\'s talking about,
I told some twink by the crudités
that I was swollen from a kidney transplant,
Well, then you have an excuse,Let me on that elliptical,
I haven\'t felt this white sinceI loved the movie "Green Book,"
Alright, bronzer me,
And I don\'t want youto be stingy,
I want it everywhere, Everywhere,
Gloria: I replaced the sign
and attached Stella\'s GPS tracker to the back,
and then I headed home to Jay,
[ Cellphone ringing ]
Gloria: Hello?
Hey, honey, You get my text?
I did, An eggplant and a peach emoji,
Does that mean what I think it means?
You bet,
I ordered eggplant Parmesanand peach cobbler,
Yum, I\'ll be home in a few minutes,
[ Dog barking]Ay,
What? Eh, nothing,
I have a flat tire,
I\'m gonna call A,A, to get it fixed,
No, Triple-A fixes tires,
A,A, is that alcoholic cult,
makes your friends no fun anymore,
I\'ll come fix the tire,
No, no, no, no, no, I\'ll do it,
This is another work thing,isn\'t it?
I am losing you!
I am in a tunnel!
There\'s no tunnels![ Cellphone beeps ]
I can\'t believe I evenconsidered that for you!
Alls I\'m saying isthe other families had alibis,
and you wouldn\'t be the firstmother/son crime duo in history,
I told you, Phil, we didn\'t steal your sign,
We slept in this morning,
Mother and I went clubbinglast night,
We went looking for a husband
but lost ourselves on the dance floor,
Nice try, but I\'m not buyingwhat you\'re selling,
Confess!I can do this all day!
Or,,,[ Vehicle approaching ]
,,,six more times!
[ Car horn honks ]Gloria: Phil!
I\'m tracking the thiefthat stole our sign!
Hurry! He\'s getting away!
I guess this new information bursts myballoon,
I bid you good day,
Well, somebody should enjoy this,
I\'m hungry, Stella!
She\'s probably down the street
playing with that greasy Chihuahua,
Where\'d I go wrong?
Why doesn\'t she know she deserves better?
I think I have some oldcheese puffs in my room,
[ Dog barking]Damn it!
How\'d you get all the way across town?!
I\'m coming, baby!
I\'m coming!
Hey, J-- Nah,
Alex, what are you doing?
Turning down this job
before corporate evil corrodes my insides,
And I am not leaving my babies
so that I can be this stressed and miserable,
I\'m going to jail,
I signed thingswithout reading them,
What if I helped the pervs?
What if I put the gunin their hand?
Doesn\'t sound like it was a gunin their hand,
[ Chuckles ] Solid,
Well, it\'s been a great 40 years,
In the words of my tattoo -- peace out,
Well --
Margaret!
Oh, it\'s okay, I don\'t work here anymore,
Yeah, I\'m out, too,Yeah, I\'m not going down with this ship,
No, no, no! Stop! No one\'s leaving,
We\'re not gonna let one little misstep
make us forget everything this company has given us,
I loved being a stay-at-home mom, I did,
But working here has given me a whole new sense of self,
And come on,
One mistake does not make us evil,
We will come clean,
We\'ll recall the product,We\'ll do whatever we have to do,
Because under this tech B,S,, there is a company we love,
Look, we may no longer make smartclosets,
but we sure as hell are gonna make smart closets,
[ Closet chimes ]
Looking for a smart outfit?
Maintain eye contact with the mirror
and begin stripping down,
I deeply regret that,
[ Dog barking]Female voice: Approaching Stella,
Look!That\'s him on the bike!
He\'s going off-road!
Don\'t worry!
I\'m gonna catch this guyor die trying!
I love your enthusiasm,
One note, and -- and this might be a second-language thing,
but when you say "die" --
No, no, no! He\'s getting away!
[ Car door opens ]
Jay: Freeze!
Jay?
What a ray of light in a dark time,
Shut up, Phil, Where\'s my dog?
And what are you doing here? I thought you had a flat tire,
I had to catch the thief that was stealing Phil\'s signs,
so I put Stella\'s tracking thingon it,
What? What if she\'s down the street
with that over-sexed Chihuahua?
Jay, she needs it, and you can\'tbe her everything!
Turn around, punk,I want to see your face,
Sam?
Why are you stealing signsfrom your own house?
Oh, You don\'t want to move,
I don\'t want to leave my friends,
[ Sighs ] I get it,
Change is hard,
When I moved to this country, it was change,
When I got married and moved to a mainly white neighborhood
with kind of racist lawn statues, that was change,
But we get to meet new people
and we get to do new things that we love,
12 years ago, I didn\'t know these people,
and now I would kill for them,
You\'ll find people like that, too,
-I hope you\'re right, -I am,
So, now let\'s go,
Put that bike in my car, and I\'ll drive you home,
Gloria, that was so terrific,
I know,
I am wonderful!
Why don\'t you want to hire me?
Because I was worried that it was a hobby to you,
something to do till you got bored,
but today, you really showed me something,
You\'re giving me the job?Yeah,
This means that I\'m gonna have to work more --
It\'s fine, If Sam canhandle change, so can I,
Welcome to Dunphy Realty, Ms, Delgado,
[ Both laugh ]Delgado?
That\'s your working name?
Man, the hits just keep comin\',
Okay, before I do more, does this look natural?
That\'s a tricky word
because the color orange doesappear in nature,
[ Door opens, closes ]Longines: Well, there you all are,
Look, I love you,but you are literally
the only six people hereI don\'t want in my bedroom,
Thanks, We weren\'t feeling insecure enough already,
You know what I think?
You only invited us
because we make you look like the hot old guy!
Old guy? I\'m not old,
Oh, please,Hide that hairline all you want,
We know what year you danced on that Paula Abdul tour,
and so do they,
Oh, my God,
I\'m making a fool out of myself,aren\'t I?
[ Door opens ]Straight up, now tell me,
-Hi, honey, -Lily!
Hey, girl, hey,
I knew it, You\'re hiding,
No, no, no,Oh, no, no,
T-They are, but we\'re not,We\'re not,
So, I\'m supposed to lovewho I am, but you guys don\'t?
Hypocrites,
[ Door closes ]
Tough love time? We dig her,
It comes off a little mean,
She\'s not mean, She\'s right,
I mean, why are we so obsessed with how we look?
So people will have sex with us?
But confidence is the sexiest thing,
That sounds stupid, doesn\'t it?
I\'m sorry,
Look at someone else,
Okay, but you know what?
Confidence isthe most important thing,
And look, maybe we\'ve lost a little of our beauty,
but we have a lot to be proud of,
I-I\'m a vice principal, I\'m a dad,
I\'m the city\'s first openly gay football coach,
And -- And I\'m a state prosecutor,
Ronaldo has a business and a family,
And -- And Bobby,,,
I mean, sure, his career\'s not on fire,
but he looks great, and he\'s 50,
I\'m 37, you wicked old witch!
[ Indistinct talking ]But -- But the point --
Hey, the point is, at our age,
we have earned the right to be comfortable with who we are,
Now, let\'s get out there, set good examples
for our children and our overly pampered pets,
You with me?
[ Lizzo\'s "Boys" plays ]
♪ I like big boys, itty-bitty boys ♪
♪ Mississippi boys, inner-city boys ♪
♪ I like the pretty boys with the bow tie ♪
♪ Get your nails did, let it blow-dry ♪
♪ I like a big beard, I like a clean face ♪
♪ I don\'t discriminate, come and get a taste ♪
♪ From the playboys to the gay boys ♪
♪ Go and slay, boys, you my fave boys ♪
♪ Boys
♪ Make a girl go crazy
♪ Four, three, two, ow
♪ Boys
♪ Make a girl go crazy Whoo-hoo!
♪ Four, three, two, ow
Mitchell: The older we get,
the harder it is to keep up with life\'s changes,
We hold on to who we once were
like it\'s the only way we could be happy,
-Bye, buddy, -Bye, buddy,
Bye-bye,
But there are huge rewards when we take risks,
embrace new experiences,
I am a proud middle-aged man,
This is what I look like, and I think I look sexy!
Am I literally invisible to you people?!
-Whew, -You know, I am so proud of us,
We overcame a lot today,
Yeah, you know, I feel so muchlighter without all that shame,
Although, I-I guess it wouldn\'t hurt us
if we were actuallylighter,
Yeah, I mean, we could exercisemore and both eat better,
It would help if we got rid
of some of these temptations,you know?
Like, we don\'t need threedifferent kinds of pasta,
Right, and, you know, Parmesan cheese, heavy cream --
I mean, it\'s just empty calories and fat,
We\'re totally makingfettuccini Alfredo, aren\'t we?
Damn straight, We don\'t have another pool party for months,
I\'ll salt the water,I\'m gonna get wine,