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Slash-and-Burn Lane
The doctors says it's incurable? Yes
They all agree
One week at the most, A matter of days
He provided for the funeral?
Nothing And there'll be no state funeral
Perhaps a TV network will buy exclusive rights
If not, City Hall or the Misericordia?
Why not sell the painting by Conrado Roza?
A tree, a friend
We need to take good care of
A devoted friend As faithful as friendship
That we can cultivate
You know a tree is a breath of,
Sancho, go outside
Leave his highness Prince Alfredo in peace
Have you no shame, Sancho?
Where are your manners?
Farting in front of his royal high nes
What will your great-uncle thin
Come on!
Sancho!
Now! Do not be republican!
Afonso,
A devoted friend
As faithful as friendship
That we can cultivate
My love,,,
A tree, a friend
We need to take good care of
A devoted friend
As faithful as friendship
That we can cultivate
Look, Alfredo
These are royal trees
Nothing like the dump that is a republican forest,
We have thought it over, Alfredo
and'there IS a clear ontological difference
between a royal tree and a common weeping willow
Look carefully Look
The intent,the discipline, I the order,
The verticality, the rectitude
Each royal pine is so self-aware,
so aware of those around it
and withstands benevolent pressure to be the best of the best,
Aware of its royal status, Alfredo
each one of them, from their roots to the very top,
knows that the world will always be vigilant,
watching for the tiniest slip-up
which might refute its natural superiority
We know the demands of this status, don't we my boy?
we are what we are and the showcase ot what we are,
Papa,,,
You'd do well to take inspiration from these trees, Alfredo,
See how they grow
how they rise to the sky
tumescent with sap
quaking with the heat of the resin in those broad trunks,
which i pull with their arms, all the better to perform their duty,
So that life runs through them from bottom to top,
and emanates the oxygenated gift to which we avidly aspire
Until the day when, exhausted,
they fall so that we might give them a second life,
A tree,a friend
We need to take good care of
A devoted trend
As faithful as friendship that we can cultivate
You know a tree is a breath of beauty
Which protects nature and purifies our air
It gives us wood and so many wonders
Cork and resin, as well as orchard fruits
Let's make-a forest, come
Plant friends and a feast
So rich and modest, let,us sow
A tree,a friend
We need to take good care of
A devoted friend
As faithful as friendship that we can cultivate
A tree, a friend
We need to take good care of
A devoted frien a
As faithful as friendship
That we can cultivate
You know a tree belongs to everybody
It doesn't damage the environment or pollute its earth
Let's go, go, go to defend our life
A forgotten tree can sometimes help us
Yes,let's make a forest, come
Plant friends and a feast
So rich and modest, let us sow
A tree, a friend
We need to take good care ol
A devoted frien a
As faithful as friendship
That we can cultivate
SOME YEARS LATER
Charred
On the worst day of the year
and last day for more than 30 victims of fires blazing in the midlands,
It's the story of those who lost their lives
while fleeing or trying to save their house or business
There are many impressive images of yesterday's fires,
but one of the most devastating is this one,
Gigantic columns of smoke
Socialist scum
While everything burns we are impotent!
The fire brigade let it burn?
Come on, Eduardo, Do not abdicate
People are watching
Today,you should not smoke
Given the circumstances,really,
Curious idea,
Until yesterday, it was a splash of green
Only hours later, it was this
80% of Leiria's historic pine forest had burned down,
35,000 acres in all,
Lighting candles with the country in flames,
Planted in the 13th century
the pine forest was intended to prevent the advance of the dunes,
and protect the town of Leiria
It played a providential role in discoveries,
supplying wood to the shipyards
t had become a place of leisure
It will take over ten-years to'grow back,,
Poor be as
it also endured the flames of hell
Dear parents,due to global warming
Sorry,
The risk of wildfires will increase
in Portugal and worldwide,
Thank goodness for the Paris Agreement!
You think anyone will respect the Paris Agreement?
What world do you live in mama?
The state is accused of mismanaging the land,,,
And you feel sorry for the chicken?
Locally it's known as the toy alpine forest
Shut up!
Sebastiao,
do us a favour,,,
Walk the Maria-Pias and take Carlota with you
Good evening,
Since yesterday the country is in the grip
of the biggest wave of wildfires since 2006,
Yesterday, 523 fires broke out,
Mama,
why do we name all our bitches Maria-Pia?
Because Maria-Pia is a bitch name!
Do not be Castilian, Sebastião,
ome on, don't bother your mother with your questions,
Carlota,,,
Maria-Pia!
If you don't mind,
ONE YEAR LATER
The Wedding of Negro Rosa,
So cute, those negro midgets in Maria da Gloria's zoo
Eduardo, times have changed
The Bridal Masquerade Please!
The other title is so outdated
Table, Carlota
Eat your porridge
would like your permission to
Quiet, Maria Pia
Let the prince speak
Noble parents
Such contemporary humour, Alfredo!
Mama, I want to be a fireman
To defend the royal forest Alfredo!
turn your back on Castille
What is this nonsense? Someone has to do it
I will hear no more of this, Alfredo
What has come over you
confusing the royal family and documentary cinema!
Very republican of you, Alfredo! Teresa, darling
Do not turn completely Antoinette
ee cool head and let us think
Alfredo,chief fireman won't be a chief
I'll start out like everyone else
Naturally, Ridiculous republican meritocracy!
we think this may be very royal gesture
Was not your cousin, the Duke of Lamego
honorary chief of Alcantara's firemen?
They nicknamed him "'Aside," Do you recall, Teresa?
Our cousin raced at top speed through the streets of Lisbon
Since the fire engine had no siren,
our cousin would shout "Stand aside! Stand aside!"
- So they'd let him through, - Eduardo we live in different times,
The royal forest comprises maritime pines and parasol pines,
Is the benevolence of our Alfredo
not why firemen are "generals of peace" ?
Soldier of peace,noble parents,
WILL-O'-THE-WISP
a musical fantasy by Joao Pedro Rodrigues
with
- Numbers! - One! Two! Three!
Survivor on upstairs floor, Recommended manoeuvre,
Go!
Go, go, go!
Let's go!
Close on his heels!
Open it up,
Up! Up!
No! It goes up! Now left!
Higher!
You've got it, C'mon!
Go!
Survivor on the ledge! Survivor out!
Throw!
Pick up the slack! - Jump!
Out!
Come on, too long
Too long to get out!
C'mon, go down!
My good lord Alfredo wants to be a fireman
Your royal highness wants to be a soldier of peace
Yes, ma'am, chief,
I was tempted by forest fire warden, too
But that's full-time, I want to be a volunteer,
You want to be a volunteer,
your royal highness my good lord Alfredo?
For one day
- To make the front pages - No, ma'am, chief,
O tilia!
Quit spying and go get Afonso,
Tell him he has a prince to train
Take a seat,good lord Alfredo
Yes, sir,
A fireman prince
See if you can stay at least until December
If we feature you lin this year's calendar
may be we'll make enough to fix the roof,
Come in
Ma'am, chief, - Come in!
Alfredo de Sao Benedito de Moga douro
Afonso
Afonso Collier,
Our Alfredo says he wants to be a fireman
Another jerk who thinks he's the Manneken Pis,
Putting out fires with his little hose!
Empties his bladder to be salvator mund?
not a chance, not a bit!
What again?
Art history
Another nutcase like you,
One studies sociology, The other, art history,
Where are the engineers?
See what you can make of him,
And get him clearing the flowerbeds out front,
he cant make a good fireman,
maybe he can be the brigade goat
Take the locker next to mine,
Thanks,
What the chief said about the calendar, is that true?
We do one every year,
This year, for our inspired photographer
we'll mime famous paintings
You study art history, right?
Let's test your knowledge
You have to name the artwork or painter
So, got it?
No,
Caravaggio, Fireman's Head,
Grand masters, not your thing?
Let's try something more basic
Go on, this one's a toss-up
Well?
I don't know,
The Fireman's Pump
By José Vilhena, ballpoint on paper napkin, No?
You cut classes?
Now another one, with more striking creative licence,
It's obvious
Picabia? No, stupid!
Francis Bacon Mr Fireman, Send Me A Dream
All right, one last chance
Back to the grandmasters
It couldn't get any easier
The Dwarf by Velazquez!
Not a single right answer, A disaster!
We have a major painting of midgets at home, by Conrado Roza,
But they're all black
Afonso is no midget
Go back to school, Bo Jo! - He's a prince!!!
My ass! He's a fireman,
The loser has to give his all to the fireman's guild
Absolutely,
Here he is in,,
The Rape of Ganymede by Rubens
Let's go!
Move it!
simulation of a fire in an urban building
with casualty evacuation,
First responders, Afonso and Otilia,
Good lord Alfredo will be the princess in distress,
whom you will save from the flames
Ignition on the 2nd floor,
Evacuation of smoke inhalation casualty, our prince, on the 3rd floor,
Right turn!
Let's go!
There's nothing for you to do, In fact, don't do anything,
Lie down and hold still until we arrive
Dry ice upstairs will imitate the smoke
Don't get up until we get you downstairs
Or the exercise is void
You're here
Don't worry, usually it's fine
Ready?
Ignition!
Afonso,check all other floors
Chief, part of the simulator has collapsed
We can not proceed with ignition,
Access to 2nd floor blocked!
Oh hell! Oh hell!
Now it's combat against the flames!
Bring up fire engine ladder to evacuate the casualty
Oh hell!
Afonso, you beast
you didn't check the simulator?
O tilia,
can you make it out?
Negative, chief,
Bring up the damn ladder, fast!
Watch out the whole place might collapse,
Got a fright?
Play dead,
Well?
Did our prince realise
how good it is to see the fire brigade arrive?
Yes Now, you do it on me,
On the left, fascist,
- Forgot the leg - Sorry,
Well?
Less bad,
but a bit slow,
Go back over cardiac arrest?
Come on then,
Open the airways, evaluate breathing
chest compressions and ventilation
Try to be efficient without being clumsy
Want me to tell you a secret?
Your hands are cold
And my heart is hot
C'mon, little fireman
remove the clothing covering my chest
Mr Fireman,
there I was, enjoying my quiet little life
with my little heart pumping away
and this goes and happens
It's the first time everything's stopped
Mr Fireman, ignore the bra
I've been wearing all week
I'm very fastidious but with the price of water,
lighting and detergents
That's right, my little saint
Now put your hand between my nipples, Go on,
How soft those little royal hands are
Shoulders over hands
Yes
Compress me there, hard
One, two, three, four,
Ventilate me, you pig!
Ventilate all of me!
My little rascal, you gave your all
All right, one more,
Black on white
Sharpening me right now
Relieving
All the weight drained away
Black on white
Not as clear as I thought
Turned grey
Everything around me
And now?
My fine words got lost long ago
I no longer pay folks I sell myself to
If I'm worse I'm not there, I know why
Listening to No Love in SP
And I take my place with my talent
I no longer pay-the folks I sell myself to
Hit Ctrl-C Ctrl-V
Listening to No Love in SP
Stand aside!
If my sad groans could fly O dusky booby
They'd go a thousand miles an hour
Balibanda, libanda, it is Balibanda, O dusky booby
They'd go crashing into the chest, O dusky booby
Of who called me back now
Balibanda, libanda, it is Balibanda, O dusky booby
Come here, my dark so dark, O dusky booby
My sunburned little one
Balibanda, libanda, it is Balibanda, O dusky booby
Darker and firmer, O dusky booby
The firmer the better
Tapeworm,
Mangy sow,
Spear in Africa
Black arrow
White Russian
Black gold,
Balsa,
Holy wood
Pale face
Dark chocolate
Settler,
Rebel,
Slave driver,
Brachycephalic,
Imperialist,
Cannibal,
Scout in the bushes
Hottentot Venus
Black rook,
White king
Checkmate
You like it or not?
I'm a fan of small boobs
But pussies do nothing for me,
All that introverted flowering
the weight of palace gates,,
You should be into it!
And there is no projection
With one guy keep going into another,
filling him until my dick invades,,
inside with his dick projecting into infinity
And beyond
Our prince puts his hand on my little axe, Nasty!
Hands on the wheel!
Ah, ah, ah, my little axe! Ah, ah, ah, my little axe!
This little puppy,
empty symbol of nothing at all
think s he's a fireman but never read Hocquenghem
and believes revenge on his colonialist ancestors
comes from giving his ass to black kids
And you, my little poker, my little coal collier,
rootless native who dreams of being an academic,
to occupy a chair that always named him black,
and up there, determine what black is
while you dream of white butts
to feel you're out of slave quarters
knocking down the master's door,
Ah, ah, ah, my little axe! Ah, ah, ah, my little axe!
Who laid hands on you when you belong to me?
When you belong to me, I belong to you
Jump, my little axe, down the middle of the road,,
It's important,
How can we defend the forest if it's not an object of desire?
It has to be intuitive and constantly present in you
You must see it in what you love most
Okay, let's recap
Tropical Garden,
Buca co Woods
I don't know,
Leiria pine forest
Sintra mountain?
Ma fra Estate
Edward VII Park
Benfica's eucalyptus forest
Forest of Lauris silva
Petrified forest
Sale of bagpipes,
Hello, mama?
No!
Papa is dead?
Of coronavirus?
How come, so suddenly?
What will you do?
I don't know,
What's expected of me, I guess
What does that mean?
I have no shadow anymore, Afonso
Now they'll be watching me,
As whom? As Alfredo?
As the fireman?
As putative king? -I don't know
I've no idea what I am
but it's me, the showcase of me
and of what I don't know
don't believe it
You'll play at being king
It's my duty, Afonso
It may be more stupid
but it's not so different from that of firemen,
And how can I avoid it?
Tell me, How?
Others define me, not me
Bullshit
They won't stop watching me
I'll be the new pretender or the pretender to nothing,
who takes himself for a pleb
or who doesn't want to be it
or who abdicates from his pretension,
Or the fag pretender or whatever
They won't let me be anything else,
remember the day my childhood ended
MB EIRO
It was after the first day of school
My mother was on the phone with my father,
recounting her conversation with the head teacher,
About me,
It was there,
Whatever they had told me about the family previously,
I realised that my " I "
was not the fruit of a direct relationship with others,
but a subject to be discussed in the third person,
A "he " about whom I could say nothing
So you hold your tongue?
Yes,
What about us?
I can't, Afonso, Because you can't
Sure
The sacrificial lamb goes to the slaughter in public,
so no one will be too unhappy,
May God's will be done
I'll be nearly nothing, Afonso
I'll be as little as possible
The empty symbol of nothing at all
who watches you whenever,,,
Sancho, leave the deceased
Come here,
Don't you understand?
I'm the sister-in-law
We even had to sell the painting of Negro Rosa,
The royal family decides
Chief, this is a foy al wish,
Royal, my ass!
Alfredo was one of us
Hell be buried as a fireman end of story,
Or would you like a horsedrawn hearse?
We take the body?
Wait, Chief,,
Our Alfredo deserves a pieta
So few people
I was told he wanted a private ceremony,
More intimate, without public figures
Poor man,,,
With no wife or children,
He doesn't even have descendants
And his poor siblings - Poor them
They are both dead
Poor them
The girl went soon after her parents
All from Co vid
Prince Sebastiao
caught a disease in Africa
He worked there for Isabel dos Santos
He passed away before the birth of little Sancho
May God bless them
Your cousin is ready
Nobody minds if our cousin sings a song?
Sing whatever you want
Then the sister-in-law
With her husband's ashes still warm in the urn
And with a little boy, - So little
May God for give her
Frequented the Mour aria
And in many palaces there were
songs
and guitars
In olden times the nobility
Which dazzled in the bull rings
Frequented the Mour aria
And in many palaces there were songs
They say our prince gave all he had in his own lifetime
to institutions in the overseas territories,
I never saw him
My husband said
Yes
Maybe it wouldn't be any worse
With what we've got,now,
And the story I will tell you
Was told to me by a certain old lady
One day when I went to sing
In the salon of a gentleman
Near to the queen's palace
One day when I went to sing
In the salon of a gentie man
Near to the queen's palace
And in that gilded salon
Under its noble, serious aspect
For the singing of fado
A masked man was always present
A man of mystery
For the singing of fado
Am asked man was always present
A man of mystery
But one evening,
But one evening someone
said to him in a raised voice
" Masked man, consider that
"today nobody
"wears a mask in this room, "
" Masked man, consider that,,
Sir, don't take this personally
but given that we're in a chapel, at awake
perhaps you could bare your head
The masked man bared his head
He was the King of Portugal
The President!
-Mister President! Afonso! Our Afonso!
Long live the President!
Long live Afonso!
Long live the President!
He was the King of Portugal
Royal lips kissed hands
And then,,,
And then we sang the phallus
THE END