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DANCE MUSIC
Marco,
- Anna, - Like the song,
You are really,,,
awful,
Excuse me, Maybe, if you get off and continue for free it's better, it's 70 euros,
Look,
Luckily one of them can cook,
Because cooking is a matter of chemistry,
- Like between you and me, - You really are an engineer,
Romantic though,
< Engineer, Architect,
Yes? Ready?
Oh yes, I'm in the Baden Powell area, for a sale,
They buy it, they buy it,
(MARCO) Ready for the mountain?
Let's go, Wait,
Check the gas,
You've checked it three times already, Come on let's go,
But how much can I love you?
Well, I'll show you around the world,
< Hey, I can't sleep! - Leave it, I'll do it,
(MARK) No, but because I'm sorry,,, But sorry, still stay,,,
But how many cars,,,
Oh, coffee, coffee, coffee, Time out,
- But how much is missing? - 7 calories to get to 400,
It's two gin and tonics,
VOICES FROM THE TV
MOBILE PHONE VIBRATION
Hey, Sergio,
No, don't bother me, No, no, but work is work,
No, but I wasn't doing anything important, Come on tell me,
Does this go here?
Hey?
- Good morning, - Good morning,
Thank you,
Mark, do you still love me?
But yes, What questions you make?
I got all dirty,
I'm serious,
- Anna, it's 9 on Sunday morning, - Do you love me more after lunch?
When we make eggs we either put vinegar or send it twice, Look,
Why don't we go live somewhere warm? We could move to Ibiza,
There's the sea, there's the sun and Tommy loves it,
- We are always happy there, - No, you are happy there,
However, it is one thing to go there on holiday, it is another thing to spend there all year round,
Think of November what a joy,
Then what do I do? Shall I make necklaces?
You can also be an engineer in Ibiza, You have already worked in smart working,
Too bad I don't speak half a foreign word,
- You know they don't enter my head, - An excellent opportunity to learn,
Yes, "The pen is on the table", Hold,
I'm not saying forever, for a while, Until Tommy goes to high school,
We could rent this apartment and keep it that way, Life is cheap there,
Anna, but I'm fine here, I mean, we're fine here,
We have the house we've always wanted, two cents to spare, a wonderful son,
Believe me, we are much better off than many people we know,
And instead I have the feeling that we are missing out on things,
That we stopped, that there is so much more in life,
- It's been 3 years since we took a trip, - But who has traveled in recent years?
Then Tommaso has his life here, school, sport, friends,
-Do you want to tear him away from his habits? - No, I want to tear us from ours!
Besides, I don't like the woman I've become,
I'm Marco's wife, I'm Tommaso's mother, but where am I?
You should go back to work,
The tender for the playground in the neighborhood park has come out,
But why don't you try? You've always been great,
By now I've lost my hand and I'm out of the loop anyway,
And who is behind Tommy? You? That you don't even come back to dinner anymore?
Marco, I'm not happy and neither are you,
But who is happy? Happiness is overrated,
- But I don't want to settle! - But I do!
All right, sorry, I have to think about it anyway,
It's not like now someone like this can pick up and leave on the spot,
Start? Shall we go to the Viking village?
- (in English) You promised, - Meanwhile, Italian is spoken at home,
You enrolled him in international school,
You think about bringing home the most horrendous report card in the world and then we'll talk about it,
Now is not the time to go anywhere,
It will never be time for you,
Do you want cocoa in your milk?
Do you think love ends?
No, We are the ones who finish,
Let's stop listening, paying attention, looking
at each other as if it were the first time,
How is it that you always have the right answer, but you always do the wrong thing?
Shit, I'm a lawyer,
- But do you want a divorce? - But who, me and Anna?
But,,, you sometimes say stupid things,,, but who?
- Call me if you need, - No, but it's not necessary,
- Look, I'll give you a hand, - No need,
THEY SPEAK JAPANESE
The president thanks, but the budget is not good,
I've been telling you for weeks,
Well, the session is adjourned, Gentlemen,
Come to my office,
I'm glad to know what you think, but when I ask you, Marco,
I remind you that, until proven otherwise, you work for me here,
No, I don't work for you, I work with you because the
studio isn't yours, even if you're the project manager,
Too bad I decide who to send away,
You know we are opening a new studio in Amsterdam,
And we need a project lead there, so
stop pissing off this project lead here,
I thought you were going to kick me out,
But I want to send you away, Marco, to Amsterdam,
- When would that be? - Since September,
I'm bad with languages, you know that, right?
But you have to plan, Marco, you don't have to talk,
The numbers are the same all over the world,
Then maybe it's the right time to learn, right?
I don't expect an answer right away,
I guess you need to talk to Anna and Tommaso about it,
Oh, Thomas, damn it! Thomas!
Vera, call Siri!
But what the fuck am I saying? Siri, call Vera!
Thank you Vera, that you recovered it for me,
Calm, You know, you're my favorite son-in-law,
Because I'm the only one,
Thomas, down from there,
- But my grandmother lets me up, - And I'll let you off,
"Grandma" no! My name is Vera,
- But do you let him climb trees? - There are only those,
Put your shoes back on,
(VERA) Not on trees, and not on shoes,
Prudence is the first form of survival,
If my father had been less bold, he had respected
the rules, he had put on the seat belts,,,
now Tommaso would also have a grandfather,
However, there is no kids area here,
- Tell your daughter, - In what sense?
It's a long story,
Oh, are you okay?
Yes, Are you staying for dinner?
But yes, why not? I don't feel like reopening the shop, Holidays,
Thomas! Come on now, come on, Come on!
(TOMMASO) The last game, come on!
- Hello Mom! - Honey, you're late!
Hi love, Yes, I could not take it away,
- Can you help me with the time tags? - Yes,
- It's this one? - Easy, it's delicate,
- Did you take it from him? - Certain,
Come on, girls, If they go by with drones and take pictures, it shows,
What a bigot you are! This one is THC free, It is used for sleeping,
But there is chamomile, They sell it at the supermarket, there's
no need to become a family of narcos because one can't sleep,
Look, have you seen how happy he is with his hands in the dirt?
(VERA) Well done my gardener,
Ibiza would be a perfect place for him,
Or for two freaks like you,
MOBILE PHONE VIBRATION
- (VERA) Who wants to taste a tomato? - I!
- And wash it first? - (together) And let him do the antibodies!
She hates me now for the same reasons she liked me before,
Yes, but maybe you've changed, for the worse,
- Maybe we changed each other, - Sure, it's always the other person's fault,
Greetings,
Cat, love!
Hi love,
Marco, are you coming to the high school party on Saturday?
Ours or your girlfriend's?
Sorry, I was late, but there was someone in the shop who never left,
- You're always hooking up, you, - Gray goes with everything,
Stinky, Vera's here, -Where is she?
- He must have gone out to smoke,,, - A nice cigarette,
No, I think he went to the bar for a whisky,
Bravo and now he will already be drunk,
- Ehh! - There he is!
Come here, So, we're going, you stay to look after the grandmother,
Don't call her grandma, she's not that old,
Good boy! Thank you, nephew!
- Dinosaurs are older, - But how dare you? Look out!
- Honey, are you ready? - How am I?
Terrible, as always, Listen, I'm taking this opportunity to take out the trash,
I'd like to intimidate that hot ex of yours who's still hoping for it,
But who, Loredana? Do not even mention it!
Ah, they offered me a transfer to Amsterdam,
They're opening a studio there, they're looking for a project lead and,,,
Sergio thought of me,
- And what did you answer him? - That I had to talk to you first,
Amsterdam is a beautiful city,
And then you speak Dutch,
Didn't you want to tear me out of my habits?
But Amsterdam is like Milan, we would live the same life,
You at work and me at home with Tommy, worse, because Vera wouldn't be there either,
And we bring Vera, among other things cannabis is also legal there,
But I want to go warm, I want to go to a beautiful place,
- I want to take Tommy into nature, - But Amsterdam is a beautiful place,
it's an international city, they go around by bicycle, there are also canals,
And here we have the canals,
You always decide for everyone, But when is it my turn?
- In Amsterdam they offer me a position, - Certain,
That's an offer you have to consider, the rest doesn't matter,
- Anna, - Have fun,
(MARCO) To be honest, all those superhero comics was me,,,
- It's very true, in fact,,, - Never thank you at a concert,
- You changed my life, - Great Max!
- Great! - HI,
-He was at the front desk, - I do not remember,
- Honey, at least pretend, - May I tell you something?
Of the two, I've always preferred the blonde who dances,
Nicholas! Great!
You fell for it again this time!
- Can I ask you for a selfie with Max? - Yes, certainly,
-Honey, he wants a selfie with you, - Okay,
In the end, wives are only for that, and I've become very good at it,
- Anna answered? -No, she's angry,
Behind an angry woman there is always a man who doesn't know what he fuck she did,
Drink it up,
Two Americans,
But then I don't understand it,
She says that she is not happy here, that she wants a change of scenery, I,,,
I propose Amsterdam and it's not good,
Then, lately, we don't even make love as much as before,
- Not that I don't get hard, but,,, - Good for you,
- Loredana! - Marco,
- Thank you, - To you,
But Nicola, sorry?
But how does she keep loving herself?
What do I know, I've never loved anyone but you and I've never stopped,
- But they're over, - Shall I get you any more?
No, it's the munchies anyway,
Maybe the problem isn't love, it's time,
It's like canoeing: if one paddles too fast and the
other too slowly, the paddles bang and the canoe stops,
Ah!
That's why I prefer to paddle alone,
I know I'm becoming like you,
- (THOMMAS) Who's coming to play with Lego? - Mom!
I'm going to get a beer and a sandwich, I'm really hungry,
Love, but 10 minutes because it's late, huh?
(in English) What's going on?
- No love, I'm a little angry, - Why?
Because the pieces don't fit anymore,
And do you still like Marquez?
- The moto GP rider? - Stupid,
You know I can't find the time to read anymore?
Well, too bad because you recommended me some beautiful books,
And how are your children?
Children? Look how they have become boys,
-And how is your husband? - Ex husband,
Very good,
- And your beautiful wife? - At home, with Tommaso,
My children are also with their father,
Free evening,
A DOOR OPENS
I have to talk to you, I thought of Amsterdam,,,
and I think you should go,
No, but I'm not going without you,
Perhaps, at this point, it would be for the best,
- But in what sense, sorry? - We're tired, Marco,
- No, but I'm not tired, - But I do,
- All right, let's work on it, okay? - But work on what?
Marriage is not a bridge that you calculate right and that stays on,
There is no formula, And if one is not happy he must have the courage to change,
Anna, are you leaving me?
You're doing it too, you just don't realize it,
I? But if I never cheated on you either, Look I could do it,
But what does it have to do with it? Things end up for a lot of reasons,
No, things don't end, we end up,
Huh?
Anna, there are people who stay together for the same reasons you want to leave me,
What the fuck do you want out of life? What you're missing? Why are you never happy?
Well, it's time to take a break,
"Take a break" in my house means "it's over",
Even at my house, but we can do it right, you and I, without all these tragedies,
What the fuck are you saying? But then so out of nowhere!
But for you it's out of nowhere, But I've been telling you for a long time that we're no longer well,
It's that you don't listen to me, You just listen to yourself,
Listen, what about the trip? We've been talking about Vikings to Tommaso for months,
- But what's the point of starting like this? - It was a promise, I don't want to disappoint him,
- We must be honest with Tommaso, - No, we have to make him happy,
Didn't you say that happiness is overrated?
- You're just a little girl, - And you an old man,
Dads! Mommy! Horrible report card!
Love,
THEY SPEAK ENGLISH
I only understood "Norway",
She said I was good, so let's go to the Vikings!
- So we're leaving? - (softly) It doesn't work like that,
A promise is a promise,
I'm taking it back, Nicola, I'm taking it back,
- (NICOLA) But how can you say it? - But because I know her,
Anna, when she travels, is happy,
I have no desire to go, it's just that we promised
Tommy and we don't want to disappoint him,
- (VERA) Or do you want to give him a chance? - No,
No, absolutely not, in fact I should have done it sooner,
(VERA) Ah, first! And when? When was everything fine? There were no problems,,,
Vera, I have to go, it's late, HI,
- (NICOLA) Ok, idiot, give me some news, - OK Bye,
You could have brought your wardrobe directly,
I am still the engineer Precisetti,
Here, I want to bring these,
- Nothing else? - Oh, good,
Why the stuff to eat? Look, they also sell it in Norway,
But not the things that you and Tommaso like,
Then everything costs a lot there, I'm out of my mind,
We look like Totò and Peppino,
I just want it to be an unforgettable experience for him,
And then maybe we could… I don't know, use the trip to talk things over,
About what?
I already told you, we just have to figure out how to
explain to Tommaso what will happen when we return to Milan,
Is there no ATM? We should collect some crowns,
Now, everywhere, only cards are used,
But yeah, come on, you're right,
SPEAK IN ENGLISH
- They don't have the van you booked, - How did they not,,,
- No, - No, it's unacceptable, How do you say?
THEY SPEAK ENGLISH
- Don't gesticulate, it's not used here, - I understand but I booked,,,
Listen to what she says, at least she,
SPEAK IN ENGLISH
- (MARK) What? - They're giving us an upgrade,
Optimal,
SPEAK IN ENGLISH
- Huh? - There are so many rules,
SPEAK IN ENGLISH
(THOMMAS TRANSLATES) If you go fast, they'll arrest you,
SPEAK IN ENGLISH
- (THOMMAS) The pedestrians,,, - I understand, I understand,
< It's beautiful!
SPEAK IN ENGLISH
(loudly) Do we have to pay for the roads?
Marco is Norwegian, not deaf,
- How cool! - (ANNA) Right?
SPEAK IN ENGLISH
Papi, shall we go to the Viking village?
Darling, look at the itinerary dad prepared for you,
We go there when we come back from the North Cape,
Now let's take a nice tour of Oslo and you'll see that you'll like it,
- Why the umbrella? - Here the weather changes every 5 minutes,
- How cool, - Real?
That's the Opera and that's the Munch museum,
They were designed by world famous architects, you know?
There are three versions of the famous scream, You know that picture like this?
What?
That's why "Totò and Peppino",
- Give me, - (ANNA) Love, come on, let's go,
Floor!
What peace, there is not a soul,
Calculate that there are 5 million inhabitants in a country larger than Italy,
MOBILE PHONE VIBRATION
Nothing, You know,,, like gigs?
They wanted to give me free gigabytes for roaming,
- (THOMMAS) Shall we go to the Viking village? - Not yet,
- Let's go to the lake here near Oslo, - (ANNA) Why go to the campsite?
- In Norway there is free parking, - But because the place deserves it, trust me,
Those are short sleeves,
Greetings,
Go, come on, come on,
(MARCO) he I think he's from here, Go,
Let's go for a ride?
Wasn't it worth it?
Don't fall into the fjord,
SPEAK IN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE
Incredible, huh? Everything we brought went in,
We did not bring sleeping masks, There is still light,
We'll buy them, come on, Then imagine if we don't sleep after a day like this,
Ah, you're settled,
MOBILE PHONE VIBRATION
SPEAK NORWEGIAN
- What he said? - Ah, Italians, me too,
- Come on! And how did you end up here? - For love,
Then love ended, but it's better here than in Viterbo,
So, Norwegian breakfast?
This is brunost, brown cheese, I'll take an egg,
- Keviar, - Things?
Smoked cod entrails,
- Stink, - Comets,
If you are a true viking you have to taste it, you will get the breath of a moose,
He's right, go,
Oh my goodness!
(ANNA) Enough, all right,
(THOMMAS) Next stop where are we going?
(MARCO) Let's go south, to Kristiansand, You'll see, you'll like it,
- It's a tree house, - Practically yes,
(ANNA) Why don't we know how to do these things in Italy?
No, you could do them,
- (THOMMAS) Shall we sleep here? - (MARK) Eh, yes,
- HI! - (in English) Marco from Milan?
Yes,
- Paul, - Conchita,
THEY SPEAK SPANISH
Tommy, look!
- Juliet, - Introduce yourself,
Tommy,
- (in Spanish) Do you like puppies? - (ANNA) Yes we like them,
But they are gorgeous,
- (in Spanish) They are from Astrid, - (ANNA) Beautiful, huh?
(in Spanish) Astrid, you work with us,
- (in English) Pleasure, - HI,
(in Spanish) The bed and breakfast is all with zero impact solar panels,
THEY SPEAK ENGLISH
- (in Spanish) Do you need masks? - Yes, yes,
- (in English) The keys, - Thank you,
Can we keep it?
First we should ask the mistress and in any case taking them away is a
mess, vaccinations are needed, documents, the puppies must be weaned,
It's a living being, not a toy, He also loses a lot of hair though,
Not even for tonight?
I beg you!
But isn't it worse if you get attached to him and then have to leave him?
Come on, dad's right, put him back in his bed,
(in Spanish) I'll take the luggage, huh?
(in Spanish) We are from Madrid which is a somewhat difficult city,
(in Spanish) Conchita needed to change her life,
(in Spanish) And this place is perfect! It is full of nature,
(in Spanish) Julieta is happy here,
(in Spanish) And if Julieta is happy and Conchita es feliz,,, so am I,
- And don't you miss the old life? - (in Spanish) Spain, Madrid?
(in Spanish) No, no, we only have one life,
I worked all day, away from Conchita, from Julieta, no!
Now? Much better!
- There's a rooftop lawn! - (in Spanish) Yes, it's typical,
- It's heaven here, - (in Spanish) Heaven,
What?
I thought maybe,,,that maybe Ibiza was the right choice to make,
I sleep here alone, you sleep with dad,
Okay, okay,
- I'm going to pay, - I am done,
Want to come say hello to the puppies? Let's go come on,
- See you at the camper, - Okay,
(in English) - Hello, - Hello, the keys,
(in English) I would like to see Italy one day,
(in English) Can I call you if I come?
Well yes,
(in Spanish) And you,,, always, here? Always?
(in Spanish) No, I work here during the season, I'm a student,
Ah, student,
- (in English) And,,, in what? - (in English) Biology,
(in English) And you?
- I,,, engineer, - (in English) Engineer Bello!
(in English) This is my phone number,
I'm going to get,,, the luggage,
HURRY VOICES IN SPANISH
- Anna, come, - What's up?
HURRY VOICES IN SPANISH
- (ANNA) Should we call someone? - No, they take care of themselves,
Why did you bring me here, then?
Because maybe, Anna,,,
paradise seen from the outside is not the same as seen from the inside,
Come on, Thomas, come on,
- Anna! - Yes, Tommy,
- Maybe we should have taken him, - Yes, and then who supported you, Precisetti?
What do you have?
I was thinking about heaven,
To the beauty of nature,
And the fact that perhaps winter in Ibiza is very long,
Maybe it's not where you go, but,,, it's how you are,
Come on, tristone, a little cheer, Cantatina? Come on!
- Come on, little song, - Go,
This here was the one in high school with me, Do you remember?
- Yes, dad you told me a thousand times, - Big Max,
(singing) But why did you leave? I got lost in the night,
(singing) Why didn't you say you weren't mine? I do not know,
(singing) The voice that answers my why, uoh uoh uoh!
(singing) I throw some weight at the cantinero who never speaks!
(singing) Next to me is a gringo, a foreigner,
He asks me "Man, where are you going?",
(singing) Uoh uoh uoh! North South West East,
(singing) And maybe what I'm looking for isn't even there,
Go to hell!
Cyclists have the right of way, dads!
Go to your seat and put your seat belts on, you,
STRESS VERSES
- I'm going to download, - What's that suitcase?
- It's the black water, - It's poop,
The poop goes in the suitcase,
- Fasten your helmet, witty, - Look, but,,,
Isn't that the cyclist you sent to shit this morning?
(in English) Hey! Aren't you the one who tried to kill me this morning?
- Hey, no in English, huh? - (in French) Martin, enchanted,
- Marco, - Anna,
(in French) - How are you? - Do you speak French?
(in French) - I learned it in school, - Ah! You are Italian,
- (in French) How did you understand that? - Go to hell!
(in English) - Yes, sorry, Italian, - Excuse me,
(in French) - I live in Belgium, - I do not know him,
You should go there, I'm having a barbecue tonight, would you like to come?
- Barbecue, no! - But yes!
(in French) - See you later! - See you later!
- HI, - HI,
But why do we have to barbecue with Thor?
- Thor? -He also had the hammer, didn't you see?
No, I hadn't noticed the hammer,
I had prepared the vegetables,
(in French) I guess these are for you, Are you Italian or what?
(in French) - How? - You don't travel much,
(in French) Yes, that's right,
Hot dog!
- Voila, - Thank you,
THEY SPEAK FRENCH
Martin says if tomorrow we all go by bike to the lake,
Yes we go!
By bike? Why not?
Don't give yourself a heart attack, huh?
(in French) Your electric bicycle is very good,
(in French) It's not electric,,, it's me,
(in French) Shall we go? Come on, let's go,
SPEAK FRENCH
Martin knows a special place,
(IMITATE ANNA) Martin knows a special place,
Tommy, did you see how wonderful?
Excuse me,
Excuse me, don't we want to eat something?
THEY SPEAK FRENCH
He says if we take a bath,
But like a bathroom? But are you crazy?
(Anna translates) We can jump from there,
Come on, Come on, Tommy!
- Come on, then let's eat, - (in French) Are you coming with us?
No? Okay,
But it's naked!
This is how it is used in Norway,
Come on Tommy, come and jump, It's beautiful!
- Do you want to go? - No, it's too high,
Safe? No, we're fine like this, thanks!
Okay!
HI!
So this is how I'm going to feel from now on?
What do you mean?
When will you,,, when will I see you with another man,
-I saw how he looked at you, - Stop it,
And how did you look at it,
- But can you see me with someone like this? - Eh, unfortunately yes,
Do you think it will be easier for me?
No, I think I didn't want all of this,
I'm sorry I couldn't make you happy,
MOANS
I feel bad,
COUGHS
What are you feeling?
38 and a half, Luckily we didn't jump in or else now there were three of us in the infirmary,
It's not by keeping him under a glass bell that you'll teach him how to be in the world,
No, look, he was the one who didn't want to jump,
No, he didn't want to disappoint you, It's different,
Oh well, better, So it doesn't bullshit, you know how I lost my father,
Yes, I'm sorry, but that can't be the excuse for everything,
You gave him a lot of fears, but let him live,
I'm very cold,
Look how useful Precisetti is that he brought the whole wardrobe with him,
- Come on, I'll give you some more tea, - Thank you,
COUGHS
What's wrong with mom?
She has what all people who bathe in a frozen lake have,
But he's fine,
Normal people, not Thor,
I can't get warm!
- Hi! - Hello!
Ah,,, chicken, chicken?
And,,, soup?
- (in English) Coffee? - No, no coffee,
(in English) Kitchen? No,
(in English) What do you want to tell me?
No, he didn't understand,
IMITATE THE CROW OF CHICKEN
No, IMITATE THE CROW OF THE ROOSTER
Yes!
She is careful that she is hot,
Viking Chicken Broth,
(in French) Good evening,
(in French) Bon appétit, I came to say hello,
- (in French) I,,, go, - Oh, are you going?
(in French) - Yes, - Bon voyage,
(in English) - Thank you, HI, - HI,
(in French) May I say hello to Anna?
No, Anna is sleeping,,, fever,
(in French) Then say hello for me,
HI,
< Hello, < Hello,
Anyway Thor is really cool,
- Why, if one has muscles, is he cool? - Yes,
- But we want to hear from the grandmother? - Yes, OK,
- HI! - Hey!
-How are you doing? Well? - Well, the fever is passing,
What are we going to eat tonight?
- Are you feeling better? - Yes,
- Thomas? -He made friends,
This is Roan with his two moms,
(in English) - Hello! - Greetings!
(in English) Abigail, this is my wife Sophie,
- Marco, - Anna,
(in English) We were wondering if the boys can play together,
- Don't worry, we'll take care of him, - Yes,
Yes, certainly, Thank you,
- They take a look at it, - (in English) See you later,
Let's hope they don't do anything dangerous,
I think the gun is real,
GUITAR MUSIC
(singing) It really seems strange to me, it's been like this for some time,
it always happens whenever you are here,
(singing) And make me really fall in love,
for too many days by how many?
(singing) Almost a lifetime of looking for you and now
I have you here in front of you and you will see,
you'll see that I'll have plenty of
time, as much love as you want,
because it's never enough,
APPLAUSE
Thank you,
(in English) - Can I have a beer? - It's free,
(in English) Ok, thanks,
We camping from Italy,
- HI, - (in English) See you,
Oh thank you,
little gift,
Look, it's legal in Norway,
SING IN ENGLISH
You looked more hideous than usual with that baby in your arms,
Do you remember when Tommy was so little?
But could we make another one?
But what are you crazy? Restart from the beginning,
No, I mean really, We never thought
about it, maybe it's the right thing to do
and then we still have time, huh?
What did I say, Anna?
Some decisions you make when you're happy,
Who told you we won't be?
Anna, what is it?
I got pregnant
about 3 years ago,
Why did not you tell me?
Because you would have been enthusiastic and instead I didn't know,,,
however I lost it immediately, before making a decision,
- Why would you have decided for both of us? - No,
But when it happened I thought life had decided for me,
And why tell you and feel bad in two?
- Maybe because there were two of us? - No, there weren't two of us,
- When Tommy was born you weren't there, - Anna, I was at work,
I'm not mad at you, I'm just trying to explain how I felt,
Alone, with a new baby and no
one to tell you how hard it can be,
You didn't seem sorry to me, you seemed at ease,
Maybe I wanted you to think so,
(NAVIGATOR) After 300 meters turn right,
But turn where we are on a bridge?
But why don't you turn that thing off and enjoy the ride a bit?
Is the magic over yet?
No, the magic isn't over, but the ferry to Lofoten leaves at 12:00,
If we go the wrong way, we lose it,
There's only one way to Bergen, where do you want us to go?
- Control freak, - Okay, okay, okay, okay,
Look here, What was the sentence like? "There is only one road to Bergen",
Now we are lost to be hipsters without the navigator,
We have petrol, we'll go back,
- What does your navigator say now? - Which he doesn't take,
Ah!
- Shit, - What happens?
Don't move,
We have laundry,
- I am sorry, - Uh, I'm sorry,
- Oh well, I'll solve it now, come on, - I'll give you a hand,
No, never mind that these aren't women's things,
Are we going to Sweden to collect the Nobel Prize for human rights?
We are in the middle of nowhere, there might be animals,
- Like what animals? - Bears,
Yes, they are just waiting for us,
If you come across a bear, keep calm and talk to it,
However you stay there,
- By a whisker, - If we weren't lost we would be there,
Now the next one is tonight, need to see if there's room,
- redo the reservation, the tickets, - We'd go for a walk around Bergen,
The walk to Bergen was planned on the way back,
Sometimes things go differently than you planned and nothing happens,
Like you want to separate?
If I had any doubts you just cleared them,
Why don't we go to the Viking village?
Thomas, stop! Don't bother too!
SPEAK IN ENGLISH - And speak Italian!
But do you really want to fight? Because I zero, Come on love?
- Where are you going now? - For a walk around Bergen,
- Why is dad angry? -He's not mad at you, he's mad at life,
(ANNA) Did you see how funny these buildings are, how crooked they are?
- How do they stand up? - They are similar to the tower of Pisa,
(ANNA) This is the oldest part of the city,
(THOMMAS) It's incredible how he's still standing,
Well yes,
Look over there, Want to take a picture under the moose?
(ANNA) Shall we look at the photos?
You look a bit like a moose,
- Shall I take your picture? - No thank you, Already done,
- Let's go, - (THOMMAS) I'm hungry,
Seems real, huh?
Have you seen? It is that of the Vikings,
- Like yours? - Good good,
- They got some really good stuff here, huh? - It is true,
Very good,
(ANNA) We're going to boarding!
SING "CASTA DIVA"
(in Norwegian) Thank you,
- (in English) Nice performance, - Good evening,
- Are you Italian? - We speak Italian for work,
I am Hassan, Lebanese conductor and you are Iseline,
Would you like to toast our divorce?
(MARCO) I didn't understand who divorces who,
Amal is my future ex-wife, Amina is my daughter,
- Unfortunately they don't speak Italian, - What about Iseline?
- Her girlfriend, - Ah, and are you all here together?
- Fantastic, - Marriage ends, affection remains,
Amal and Amina live in Dubai,
They came here to celebrate a new beginning together, for everyone,
So there's no need to go to war? Just like you said,
Think how you were up front, huh?
(HASSAN) We are like brothers and sisters, Here's to divorce,
Let's free!
- Mami, can I go to the cabin? - Yes, love go,
Go Go,
- And how did you meet? - At the Florentine May,
It was love at first sight as she sang,
Mine too, while she was dancing with another,
And then things change,
And so I followed her to her beautiful Norway,
She gave of her youth of hers, I my experience, A fair exchange,
Or you have found the right woman,
Excuse me, I'm a little tired, I'll catch up with Tommaso, Good night,
No woman is right,,, if you're wrong,
- Our task is to learn to love, - Yes please,
And you know how to do master,
SPEAK IN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE
Anna, Anna!
You are a crazy drunk, How can you say certain things in front of Tommaso?
You are the one who wants to divorce!
Of course, the decision is mine, I'm an irresponsible fool, you have nothing to do with it!
No, I'm not that I have nothing to do with it, I do not want! But you've already decided anyway,
Come on, then go, go, go, Throw it all away at the first difficulty,
- Yes, because you don't want to change, - But why did you change?
Do I look like the same girl who used to dance barefoot at parties?
- Unfortunately not, - Ask yourself why,
Come on, Anna,
Thank you,
Do you want to separate?
I do not know,
I don't know anything anymore,
- Is there another woman? - No,
But she's right, we are no longer happy,
Remember brother:
Better a happy divorce than a sad marriage,
- Good luck, - Thank you,
MOBILE PHONE VIBRATION
Tommy?
Tommy!
Hey Hello, Do I bother you?
In Lofoten I don't know if it takes, Write me, Okay?
- Marco, Tommy is not in the room, - As?
-I don't know where he is, - But how not,,,
- Tommy! - Tommy!
Thomas!
- Tommy! - Thomas!
- Tommy!
Thomas! But why did you hide? Come outside,
But it's not like that, it's not good!
- Anna is here! I found it! - I was joking,
But you don't mess around with ships, But you could fall down what if someone caught you?
- Come on, spin! - Excuse me,
Tommy,
- But that's not how it's done, - Sorry mom,
Do you want to divorce?
However, we will never divorce you,
Come on let's go,
- I died of fear, - I also know,
DANCE MUSIC
Shall we call grandma?
I swear to you, Vera! I saw whales! Believe me!
- And they looked like me? - Hand!
- They are more beautiful, - How dare you?
- You are just the worst nephew I have, - But if I'm the only one!
No, Stop, I'm too offended, I'll leave you,
No, I'll leave you,
And take a break for reflection at least first, right?
Come on guys, hello, I'm going to dance,
- But how to dance? - To dance, to dance, So?
- Hi Vera, - (softly) How are things going for you?
For whatever it takes, I'm here,
HI,
So, the buns are ready, Thomas is ready, Are you ready?
- For what? - The sun at midnight!
(THOMMAS) But you can't see the sun!
Things don't always go as planned, But it's nice, isn't it?
Anna!
Tommy!
(in English) - Is everything okay? - Yes,
THEY SPEAK NORWEGIAN
But how do you fly to Bergen?
(OPERATOR) The phone of the called person is not reachable,
Baby, me and dad,,,
You have taken a break for reflection,
And then I too want to see the Viking village,
Call me back Anna, call me back!
(LOREDANA) Today it's called "ghosting", but in our times it was called an asshole who
doesn't answer you and if I remember, you already did it to me when you left me for Anna,
(MARK) Shit!
THEY SPEAK NORWEGIAN
Listen, I'm sorry, but I have to go,,,
(in English) - Documents? - Yes,
Yes, but I have to go because at the airport,,, airport?
Okay? This is the license, okay, My wife,,,
SPEAK NORWEGIAN
- Italian, not,,, - (in English) Do you speak English?
No English, no English,
(in English) Don't use your cell phone while driving,
- Okay, okay, okay, - (in English) You have to pay a fine,
Okay, I pay, I pay! But now I have to go because,,,
My wife, child, plane,,,
- (in English) You don't understand Italian, - If you stop me, the plane will leave,
(in English) We do not accept cards, So we need to get your address,
But I have to go now, Look, the license plate is there, this is the name,,
- Send me the fine at home, - (in English) Calm down,
No, "calm down" shit, My wife is leaving!
Send me the fine at home, Send me the fine at home,
- Listen to me,,, - (in English) We'll take you to Central,
- My wife is leaving! - (in English) Calm down,
Shit! But I didn't hurt anyone, I drove by phone!
- (in English) Calm down, - And the camper?
Shit!
(in English) Can we take his stuff?
POLICE
(in English) - Hello! - Greetings!
VOICES NOT AUDIBLE
Tommy!
- Tommy! - Buh!
You don't have to hide!
VOICES NOT AUDIBLE
(in English) You pull up to the shoulder and let go of the arrow,
VOICES NOT AUDIBLE
You are a real Viking,
- We take a photo? - Yes,
(in English) Excuse me, can you take a picture for us?
(in English) - You're welcome, - Thank you,
No thanks love,
Isn't it that now you cook for me?
It will mean that you will have to learn,
(SECRETARIAT) "Hi Marco, we wanted to tell you that everything is fine and we're going back to Milan,"
Hi Anna, I wanted to know how you were and also tell you some things,
like I practically spent the night in jail, even
though it looked more like a b&b in Cologno Monzese,
Now I'm making a free stop in the woods, just the way you like it,
No, not this one, come on,
Free stop, free stop,
Nature, Outside!
AN ANIMAL'S CALL
Oh shit,
Guess I parked at your house,
My name is Marco, I'm,,,
an engineer from Milan,,,
i have a wife and a child,
I may have gambled away my wife, though,
And I've always given her everything, I've never cheated on her,,,
but she is gone,
But what the fuck does he want out of life, you'll tell me,
No, no, no, no, I know I have my responsibilities,
I'm obsessive, I'm rigid,,,
and I took it for granted, but,,,
i still love her,
MARK LAUGHS
What the fuck, I'm talking to a bear,
VERSE - No, no, I want to stay alive,
No, no, I have to tell this to Tommaso and Anna, please,
No, maybe not this one, but everything else does,
And if you let me go,,,
I promise I'll make you look great,
LAUGHS
But no, Nicola, a real bear, like the ones in documentaries, Big,
- (NICOLA) Shit, what did you do? - I talked to him,
Have you talked to him? Who are you? The Bear Whisperer?
It's something Tommaso taught me, But it worked,
But didn't you have something at hand to defend yourself?
Close at hand yes, but to defend myself it was no good,
Excuse me, and where were Anna and Tommaso?
They are gone,
Anna left me,
-(NICOLA) How did she leave you? - Definitely, I think,
But if you said that,,, what the fuck happened?
(MARCO) No okay, a long story but I'll make it short,
- My fault, - (NICOLA) I took this for granted,
But, now, after taming a bear, what are you going to do?
I'll do what comes my way, I'm ready for anything,
Ready for everything? Marco, are you sure you're okay?
But yes, You know when in life you are afraid that something will
happen to you and then when it happens you don't feel so bad after all?
(NICOLA) When you're a philosopher I can't stand you,
I have to leave you, I'm waiting for someone,
- Your girlfriend leaving school? - Cretin,
Look, I too broke up with Caterina because it was a moment,,,
I was addicted to cialis, But now another situation has opened up for me,
Then I'll tell you, I feel it is the right one,
- Good luck then, - In the mouth of the bear, Minchione,
- Hey, - HI,
You're always beautiful, How are you?
- Everything is fine thank you, You? - Great,
Listen, were you on the phone with Marco?
DANCE MUSIC
So, the right hand moving the wrist is the one that
rotates the paddle, the left remains soft and the paddle,,,
- See you Tuesday, - Mom I had so much fun,
- Well, so we do it again? - Yes,
MOBILE NOTICE - You didn't even fall,
You were so afraid,
I'M IN MILAN, WHERE CAN YOU TAKE ME FOR A DRINK?
Anna! I jumped!
(in French) I'm training for Iron Man from Serbia at the end of the month,
Three kilometers of swimming, 180 kilometers of cycling and a marathon,
Tomorrow I'm at rest so I won't eat,
I prefer some salad,
(in French) I'm glad you came alone,
(in French) - A glass of wine? - Yes, champagne?
Perfect,
(in Spanish) This was my dream, not Pablo's,
Do you remember Julieta, our little daughter?
-Yes ,-(In Spanish) She misses her father,
-(in English) Julieta misses her father, - Ah OK,
(in Spanish) Pablo wasn't a bad person, he was unhappy,
And are you okay now?
(in Spanish) Yes, we're better off this way,
A friend of mine says, "Better a happy divorce than a sad marriage,"
- You understand? - (in Spanish) The same in Spanish,
(in Spanish) And why did you come back here?
- Why did I come back here? - Conchita?
(in English) It's you! You're back!
- HI, - HI,
Excuse me, I've been looking at it for a while,
- Aren't you the one with the 70 euro kiss? - Excuse me?
About ten years ago, I brought a couple on board who kissed
all night while the meter was running, 70 euros at the end,
- Yes, it was us, - No, crazy, But are you still together?
I think not,
A DOOR OPENS
Thank you, dad! I wanted it badly!
- Hello, stinker, - Thank you,
- What do we call it? - Thor,
- HI, - HI,
- You don't know what a delirium to bring him to Italy, - I imagine, Nice though,
How was the rest of the trip?
Boring,
- Papi, Thor peed, - Take a rag in the kitchen and dry it,
- Then we pass the amuchine, - Welcome back Precisetti,
Well, I couldn't leave him in Norway,
And you, chick?
Look at your paws,
This makes us a giant, But will you be good or will you drive me crazy?
I'm not leaving you alone with Thor,
It seemed like a good time to give Tommaso a puppy,
I also thought about renting an apartment in the area,
so when you need me,,,
- What about Amsterdam? - No, no Amsterdam,
I talked to Sergio and I took months to stay with Tommaso until,,,
we don't organize ourselves,
You're right,
Whatever it is, we can do it right together,
Thank you,
So, if you hear that they rent around here,,,
Papi, have you seen the model of our trip?
Nope, Oh wow, But did you do it?
With mom,
In fact here you are, you and mom,,, just you,
There is everything, This is Bergen,
the sailing ship, the whale, our camper,
- What is this? - The village of the Vikings,
- Good, beautiful, - Thank you,
Come Thor, let's go see our room,
And this?
It's an idea for gardens,
A Viking themed play area,
The Viking King's Castle,,,
the bridge with the ship,,,
and then I'd like to create a picnic area, perhaps with a barbecue,
What do you say? Do you like it?
Very, It's really very interesting, well done,
So you have decided to participate in the tender, that is to start over?
Starting over is a big word, I'll try,
Both with the Municipality would still be a very long-term project,
We see,
What are your plans in the short term?
I don't know,,, cook something,
- Do you want to have dinner with us? - Well, thank you,
But did you know that our taxi driver brought me back? The kiss one,
- Come on? - Yes,
- Did you recognize her? - No, she recognized me,
Yet you have changed,
Not you,
You are always awful,
What are you thinking about?
That I could rent you a room,
Well, first you should buy half the house,
When I win the contest we'll talk about it,
I cook a risotto,