"Ask for a key,"
Hello?
Stir, stir, stir,
Oh, that looks good,
Everything's going to be fine,
All right,
Angry Mo Challenge!
Blow up the fuckin' place!
They're my falafel tacos,
♪ Well, it's lonesome in this old town ♪
♪ Everybody puts me down ♪
♪ I'm a face without a name ♪
♪ Just walking in the rain ♪
♪ Goin' back to Houston ♪
♪ Houston ♪
♪ I haven't eaten in about a week ♪
♪ I'm so hungry, when I walk I squeak ♪
♪ Nobody calls me friend ♪
♪ It's sad the shape I'm in ♪
♪ Goin' back to Houston ♪
♪ Houston ♪
♪ Goin' back to Houston ♪
♪ Houston ♪
♪ Goin' back to Houston… ♪
Mohammed, you look so tired, Are you okay?
I just need to lie down for a second,
Lift your head,
Ya Allah,
Mama, I'm so sorry,
I ruined everything,
I saw him using the olive oil,
and I just couldn't help myself,
Yes, you could have,
I screwed up,
You did,
I know, That's why I'm apologizing,
Ya mama, what do you want? A trophy?
Ya Habibi, you screwed up big time, like really big,
Size of an elephant screwed up,
I'll make it up to you, Mama,
I'll find us a new business, I promise,
Just please, trust more and do less,
Not everything is about you,
I just know how much the business meant to everyone,
I spoke to Linda at the antique shop,
I'll be her lamp specialist,
- You want to do that? - Yeah,
I can do a lot of things I don't want,
like everyone else,
It's normal,
Maybe I'll call Abood,
and get my job at Houston Mobile again,
Great,
You know, I was thinking…
Remember when we used to have those big Thanksgiving gatherings?
Hmm,
Maybe we could again,
No, no, I don't think so,
I'm too tired,
Mama, you don't have to lift a finger, I'll do everything,
I'll get the turkey, make the sides, invite everyone,
Habibi, we don't have room,
Maybe we could do it at the farm,
Little send-off,
Yeah, Lizzie,
ICE?
Allah…
This is not about the video that I'm in, is it?
What video?
- You haven't seen it? - What video?
You're not on TikTok? Everyone's seen it,
Gotta get better control of my emotions, It's really adding up--
Well, well, well, look who it is,
Mohammed Najjar,
How are you, Mo?
Not so well, I see,
It's not what you think it is, Modad,
- Is that right? - "Is that right?"
So you're telling me you're not in this ICE office
with an ankle bracelet because you were deported?
Okay, maybe it is what you think it is,
Well, maybe you shouldn't have fired your proud Palestinian lawyer
and hired this, um…
Lizzie Horowitz,
No offense, yes offense, Lizzie,
Ah, well, it's always a pleasure to see you, Modad,
And I really appreciate your concern for my client,
We are just dealing with some unfortunate consequences
from Mo's accidental visit to Mexico,
Everything is just fine,
Mexico, wow, Mohammed!
Acapulco!
At the party, I see,
Why don't you take your maracas and leave me alone, okay?
Because I'm probably gonna never see you again, most likely,
It's gonna be okay,
He's fine,
Mohammed Najjar,
Look, they're calling my favorite Mohammed,
That's still you, Mo,
Best of luck, habibi, Love you,
Salaam to the fam,
Agent Malone, happy T-day,
Same to you, Modad,
Give my best to Amir,
Of course, will do, Bye,
- You two, come on with me, - This guy…
Mm-hmm,
Let's go,
- What the fuck?! - Calm down!
Mmm,
So, unfortunately, we're gonna have to make a little change,
What kind of change?
It's in regards to your client's personal tracking device,
Okay,
It seems that this particular model has caused some electrocution issues,
but it's only for a minority of our customers,
- Sorry, Did you say electrocution? - Did he say customers?
So they're doing the whole recall thing,
So we'll have to settle for conditional check-ins
every three months,
That's terrible, Your customers must be so pissed,
Yeah, I mean, honestly, I don't really see what the big deal is,
because I bet you it was like static electricity,
- Yeah, - You know, like,
socks on the carpet kind of thing,
or like the bug zappers,
But, you know, people got sensitive ankles,
How are you allowed to work here?
I mean, I don't get it either,
It's like the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, and here we are,
- That's not what I meant, - Unbelievable,
Ah! Be careful,
Oh my God!
Is this from the electrocution?
I don't know what that is,
Well, what…
All right, I'm gonna ship this to El Salvador,
Apparently, that's where they fix these,
If I were you, I'd put some kinda Neosporin on that or something,
Take care of it, You don't wanna get infected,
- I'll be back with your paperwork, - Thanks for the tip,
- No problem, - That's great,
Are you all right?
I did it to myself, I walked for like 30 miles,
I was trying to make him feel bad, but he doesn't feel bad at all,
What are you talking about?
And I thought I would feel better, but…
I don't, I still feel like shit,
Well, you've been through a lot, Mo,
You just got to be gentle with yourself, be gentle with them,
Maybe put some of your mom's olive oil on it,
That's a good idea,
What video?
Hey,
Oh, hi, Um, I was just leaving,
No, no, Don't go,
Listen, it is so good to see you,
I'm sorry,
- I mean it, - Yeah, it's okay,
Guy and I already broke up, so whatever,
Oh, broke up? Is it because of the thing at the restaurant?
Look, the thing got blown out of proportion,
- Mo, not everything is about you, okay? - Then why?
I really don't wanna talk about it, I got to go,
Could you just… What's going on with you?
You're acting funny, Are you okay?
Sorry for the delay,
I keep telling them to put the keys in the drawer,
but they don't listen, they just put the keys anywhere they want,
Hey, my man, do you mind?
Bro, it's not my fault they lock this up, I don't wanna be in your business,
This shit is $5, It should be out here with all the other $5 stuff,
It's not that serious,
People already got enough stuff going on, Don't need me to unlock the pee sticks,
These don't even cost that much, This is like less than $100,
I don't know why this is locked up and this is not locked up,
What the hell are you talking about?
Sorry, Which pregnancy test do you want?
Um…
Uh…
Hey, you got to pay for that cream!
Pay for the-- See, that's the shit they should be locking up,
He's not ready for fatherhood,
Out here stealing and shit,
It's okay,
- I just put the timer, - Okay,
I gotta ask,
What happened between you guys?
I mean, you and Guy,
We just wanted different things, It was…
I don't know, It's really weird for me to be with someone
who didn't believe in God, who didn't want children--
Yeah, well, he missed health class, Forgot how that works,
Let's face it, it was a rebound,
Yeah, great rebound,
- Those ocean eyes, though, - Oh, could you stop bring…
I'm so sick of everybody talking about ocean eyes,
- Deep blue, beautiful, - The ocean is…
The ocean is not that nice, It has sharks, There's killer whales,
Anyway, you're not that innocent either,
What about that blonde you took to the rodeo?
- Oh, Austin? - Yeah,
It didn't work out, It was not good,
Hameed set us up, and that's a disaster,
- Hameed? - Yeah,
Hameed as a dating service?
No, it does not work out,
Don't say his name one more time,
he might pop out of the bushes with a fucking shotgun,
- You think I'm joking, - Man!
- Sorry about that, - I'm sorry about that too,
Yeah, I was… I think I was jealous,
- I'm pretty sure you were jealous, - Yeah, you were too,
I was a little jealous, but then I wasn't jealous at all
after I saw how terrible his food was,
- I was okay with it, Yeah, - Okay, Uh-huh,
- The barbecue was shit, - Oh,
So what are you gonna do?
If you know, you know…
I don't know,
What can I do?
It's just, whatever choice I make,
I just keep hearing my grandma's voice in my head,
I have the kid in one arm and the pinche auto shop,
But this is just not how I pictured it,
How did you picture it?
Oh, with you,
Oh shit!
Okay,
It's time,
Okay,
No,
That's good news,
I'm so relieved,
Thank you,
Where did you get those headphones, Sameer?
Oh, Nadia bought them for me,
Her friend thinks that they can help me when I'm feeling overstimulated
by blocking the noise,
You like Nadia's friend?
Yeah,
Mama, how come you never told me?
Habibi, all I ever done is love you to the best I can,
If I thought that sending you to therapy would have made your life easier,
I would have done it, mama,
And sorry if I made the wrong decision,
but, habibi, I thought if you go,
you would feel that there's something wrong with you,
Nothing's wrong with me,
Of course, That's what I said, There's nothing wrong with you,
No, that's what the therapist said,
Oh, so the therapist said what I said?
Right, mama, where is the problem?
I don't… I don't know,
Habibi, you think this therapy will help?
Is it really what you want?
Yeah,
Okay,
Nadia's paying?
- Yeah, - Good,
Show me what's in your book,
- Do you want to see it? - Yes, please,
My little artist,
- Peace be upon you, - And the mercy of God unto you,
Mashallah, ya mama,
When did you make all that?
I started 24 days ago,
Look, Look what your brother did,
What is this?
Been tracing our family history in Palestine,
Maps, photos, documents,
You know, getting ready for the trip that Mama and I are about to make,
Wow, this is incredible,
Thank you,
It's a shame you can't come, Hamoodi, considering you were deported,
Um, I meant--
I mean, I wish that you were coming with us, Hamoodi,
Me too,
It's okay,
I don't get to say this often enough,
but I'm so blessed to have you as my brother,
I'm really sorry about the business,
Sorry, Did you say something?
This is amazing,
♪ It's perfect, okay ♪
♪ Mac and cheese up in the oven Grandma finished cookin' ♪
♪ Thanksgiving 'round the corner Need banana pudding ♪
♪ Brought you home to Mama Even though you said I shouldn't ♪
♪ Might not make it to Christmas But I'm hoping and I'm pushing… ♪
Good job,
♪ A good day in the making But you never stay… ♪
- I can't help myself, - Hmm,
♪ Why you fakin' on the real? ♪
♪ Uh, yeah, yeah… ♪
Oh, yeah, baby,
All right, There it is,
♪ Know they crazy, they be buggin' but ♪
♪ Promise that I got you Didn't bring you here for nothin' ♪
♪ Know we fightin', plus the arguments Just lead into the fuckin' ♪
♪ Though some things never rearrange… ♪
Come, habibi,
Come, Come,
You are getting so big and tall as me,
Shit,
Oh, Bob,
How do you always find the shit?
Oh God, I don't know, It's everywhere,
Yo, Happy Thanksgiving,
- Happy Thanksgiving, baby, - Yay,
- Yeah, - Hi, baby,
- What's going on? - What's up, man? Thank y'all for coming,
Hi, baby! Hi!
- The table's over there, - Okay,
You go, habibi,
All right, catch it for him,
There we go, That was nice,
- Great catch, - Oh, damn it,
- Uh-- Let's see it, - Let's see your form,
No problem, One-hand while looking at you,
Oh! Wow,
- Ha! - He's crazy,
- Hey, Hi, Dallas, - Hey,
- How y'all doing? - Hey, Dallas,
- What are you doing with a shotgun? - For skeet shooting,
We're not going to skeet shoot on Thanksgiving!
Put it up, bro! There's kids here!
- Ah… - Put it up,
- I told you he's not gonna let me do this, - Come on,
Salaam, Hey, don't hug my wife, huh?
- All right, A little fist bump? - Fist bump,
How you doing? Okay, All right,
You want to have one, Sameer?
Okay,
But you're not athletic,
You invited Maria to Thanksgiving?
Yeah, yeah, I'll explain later,
All right,
Hola,
How are you? Well, happy Thanksgiving,
Tamalitos,
Tamalitos? You made tamales?
I did,
It took me all morning, I was…
I ordered them,
Oh, you ordered them,
The table's right over there, Come on,
All right, come on,
Oh God,
- Mama, - God will take care of you,
Still mad at me?
This is not the first time,
We're always like this, Tit for tat,
But you overstepped me
when you took Sameer to the therapist behind my back,
Okay, I concede,
I should have told you first,
It's okay, I understand,
What now?
The Israelis destroyed another school in Yatta,
Mama, you're going to kill yourself watching the news 24/7,
Nadia, mama, what do you want me to watch instead, huh?
That bakery show you always talk about?
It's wholesome, uplifting, and sometimes that's helpful,
I mean, we're allowed to watch things we enjoy,
We're allowed to do things we enjoy, aren't we?
Ya mama, how can I watch anything
when there is kids watching their homes,
their schools being destroyed in Yatta?
Not only Yatta,
They've confined Jenin, Ramallah, Nablus, Al Khalil,
I understand you, Mama, but--
There's no "but,"
Those kids are Osama's age,
I know, and it's horrible, and it's killing me too,
But how is us stressing out about it gonna help them?
Nadia, we owe it to them by watching at least,
And we owe it to them to live too,
It's on us to pass who we are to… to our kids,
to Osama's kids, inshallah,
This is how they're not gonna erase us,
No matter how hard they try,
We're more than our pain and suffering, Mom,
You wouldn't know that watching this news,
You're right, You're right,
You have to look after yourself, so you can help others,
Well said,
Here, I've put my phone on the side,
You're my everything, Mama,
Habibi…
The entire world is not enough for what you deserve,
Only God is enough for you,
May God be pleased with you,
Don't cry! I don't like to see your tears,
Tell me,
Tell me about this bakery show
so I can make you new recipes,
Next Thanksgiving,
Tell me,
It's called The Great British Bake Off,
British?!
Curse the British, those bastards,
Okay,
The British are the foundation of evil,
They're the root of the evil core we're in right now,
They're the ones who destroyed us, colonized us, divided us,
- Hi, - Hi,
- I cooked the turkey, - And I helped him,
Oh yeah?
Well, I don't know, y'all, but I'm glad to have you,
Thank you, baby,
I'm going to grab one of these falafels,
Oh my God, I got so many cravings,
I'm glad I dodged that bullet,
And this is how you eat hummus, habibi,
- Thank you, Grandma, - You and Grandma,
I'm gonna continue seeing the therapist,
- That's great, Good, - Really?
- I'm gonna… I'm gonna do it, - No, no,
Honey, no, no, I don't think it's a good idea,
Sorry, I got something I want to say,
- Oh boy! - Before I begin,
I want to acknowledge the Karankawa people,
Uh, they were indigenous to this beautiful land
- that we're currently on, - Mm-hmm,
Make no reservations about it,
Uh, the Karankawa, they numbered nearly half a million
before settlers from Texas and Spain came and took their land
- by waging a, uh, a genocide, - Wow,
He said genocide, just in case anybody missed that,
That's how we're kicking off Thanksgiving,
- That's how Thanksgiving started, right? - It's true,
- I gotta pick up your dry cleaning, - You forgot again?
Anyway, today, the Karankawa tribe, they still fight to be recognized,
their traditions and their culture, by the people who colonized them,
- Very depressing, - Amen,
Sounds familiar,
You know, Manny was a Karankawa,
When he stole my trees, I felt like a Palestinian,
- What? - Well, not quite,
But I… I get where you're going with it, It's nice,
I just want to say that I'm, uh… I'm very thankful for my family,
Uh, especially… especially you, Mama,
I can't wait to go to Palestine with you,
You're going to Palestine?
I can't, but they are,
I want to say that I'm really thankful for my three beautiful children,
my grandson, and Bob,
And thank you, Buddy, for having us today one last time,
- Thanks, Buddy, - Thanks,
Uh, I'm just happy to have this table full again,
Alhamdulillah,
I'm really thankful, guys,
- to you, Dallas, - Aw!
Anything happen to you, I would rip my heart out,
- look at it, spit, stab it, -That's excessive,
Throw it in the trash, I don't need it if you're not here,
Habibi!
It's nothing,
And also I don't wanna forget,
I'm very thankful to America,
the greatest and freest country out there,
Man, you always doing this by rote,
It's disrespect, man,
You're American also, bro,
Nigga, please,
I'd like to say I… I think your lives matter,
- Thank you, - And I think you deserve reparations,
Reparations? You want to give him money?
He's first generation,
Hameed, you barely got here five years ago,
Are you a citizen?
Listen, bro, I'm ready for the test, okay?
If there's a question in the Constitution,
pow-pow, I'm ready, bro,
- Third Amendment, right now, - I plead the Fifth, bro,
The Fifth, and with this hand, bro, I will smack you with the Fifth,
After Second Amendment, who give a shit?
Oh my God, now you really sound American, bro,
- And very Texan, - You know what?
It's good that I sound American, bro, You know why?
Because America gave Mo's family asylum,
Mm-hmm, Only after they gave the IDF 200 billion dollars,
Why are my tax dollars paying for that instead of health care?
- Yeah, - Okay, maybe…
Maybe America is not perfect, everybody,
- Hmm, - But I love America, okay?
Can we just agree that America sometimes is great,
and sometimes it's just awful?
Only God is great, Maria,
- Amen, - Countries and borders are all made up,
The real thing is the land,
and the land accepts us wherever we die,
Let's eat,
Bismillah,
Amen,
Okay, all right,
Maybe eating outside wasn't the best idea, but it's nice,
Yeah, you know, we should count the ducks,
I'm pretty sure Hameed took out one of the ducks,
- At least, - At least one or two,
That speech with Bob was crazy,
- Thank you for helping me clean up, - Yeah,
Thank you for being there the other day,
Yeah, it was… It was nice,
Not so nice, but you know,
Look, I'm sorry,
When I came back from Mexico, I was a big baby,
I was hurt,
and I didn't know how to process that,
I told you to move on, and you did,
It doesn't give me a right to tell you who you can and can't see,
I think I did it on purpose,
What, Guy?
I think I didn't trust myself to get over you, and…
I knew it would end things,
so I did the one thing I knew you couldn't forgive,
You are an emotional terrorist,
Yes,
No, I mean…
Maybe, I don't…
I was just so hurt,
I'm sorry,
Look, this belongs to you,
I've had it for a while,
My grandmother's ring?
Yeah, Tía Rosa gave it to me,
What?
She had this idea when I get back that I would propose to you,
I know,
Stupid,
Take it,
- What you talking about? - Take it,
- It's your grandmother's, - Take it!
- Have you lost your mind? - Take it!
Now give it back to me,
Phew,
Yes,
Come on,
What are you doing?
I don't know what's gonna happen between us, Mo,
But I do know I love you enough,
and I don't want you to live in fear of a deportation order,
I want to see you go to Palestine with your family,
So, yes, Mo Najjar,
I will green card marry you,
But…
I know you don't want a green card marriage--
Fuck that,
It's hard being deported,
I can't do it anymore, really,
Okay,
Hmm,
- You sure? - Yeah,
Yeah,
Before you change your mind,
No, No, Don't take any pictures, okay? I'm a mess,
No, it's for evidence, not memories,
- Oh, okay, - Come here,
We did it!
What happiness!
Big surprise, Tía Rosa!
Oh boy,
Who knew we had to separate to get married?
Yeah, I know,
Just had to break up, Poof, we're engaged,
You're gonna go to Palestine,
Shit, I do get to go to Palestine,
♪ I used to rule the world ♪
♪ Seas would rise when I gave the word ♪
♪ Now in the morning, I sleep alone ♪
♪ Sweep the streets I used to own ♪
♪ I used to roll the dice ♪
♪ Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes ♪
♪ Listen as the crowd would sing ♪
♪ Now the old king is dead ♪
♪ Long live the king ♪
♪ One minute, I held the key ♪
♪ Next, the walls were closed on me ♪
♪ And I discovered that my castles stand ♪
♪ Upon pillars of salt ♪
♪ And pillars of sand ♪
♪ I hear Jerusalem bells a-ringin' ♪
♪ Roman Cavalry choirs are singin' ♪
♪ For some reason, I can't explain ♪
♪ I know Saint Peter won't call my name ♪
♪ Never an honest word ♪
♪ But that was when I ruled the world ♪