رسانه اینترنتی مای موویز MyMoviz جامعترین سایت فیلم و سریال
Yo, Matt,
It's crazy, man,
We're really making this happen,
Uh, this scene right here, I'm gonna need you to,,,
You guys, you know, you're talking on the beach,
you're chillin', you're vibin',
Man, y'all realize this is our last year of college,
After this, we gotta get jobs, pay for student loans,
It never goes away,
Dude, we're on spring break right now,
We're in paradise,
and we should be having the time of our lives,
instead of listening to you talking some depressing
after-school bullshit,
You way too young to be having some midlife crisis,
I hear what you're saying, but the thing is, yo,
we're young and we're trying to have some fun,
So, see those hunnies back there?
Let's kinda go over that way and talk about this later?
All right?
And cut,
Woo!
- Aw, come on, Ced,,, - Matthew Hillard,
the next big thing out here makin' it happen!
We on the set of your first feature film, man,
Life's A Beach,
Talk to the people, all your future fans,
- What you want 'em to know? - Man, I don't know, man,
I'm just out here living my dreams, man, you know?
I want all y'all to do the same thing too, aight?
Live out your dreams,
Day 470,
Sometimes I, um,
feel like Tom Hanks in Cast Away,
or Matt Damon in The Martian,
or,,,
Chris in Into the Wild,
What was that guy's deal, man?
The wilderness is just not a safe place to be,
But I'm not in the wild, I'm just,,,
I'm just at my house, and it's,,, it's just crazy,
I could always just do this, right?
Okay,
Hey, everyone,
It's me, Matt, and I'm back,
I just,,, I just want to update everyone on the progress
of my new movie, Home Improvement,
Or Honey, I'm Home,
Or It's Good to Be Home,
I'm still,,, I'm still working on the title,
Uh, let's see, we got a few comments here,
IllJ says, "Matt, I support your creative spirit,
Keep up the good work,"
IllJ, I'm on it,
Um, PrettyPink says,
"Matt, when will you go back to making real movies?"
Uh, hey, PP, I, um,
I am making a real movie, it's just from home,
Uh, yeah,,,
EverDark says,
"Fuck you, Matt, you're a phony,"
Um,,, okay,
Uh, and HappyGuy says,
"Matt, you should kill yourself,"
Don't think I will, but okay,
I think,,, I think we're, uh, we're good for today there,
Okay,
Time to write,
Or not,
And I'm broke, I don't have a lot of money,
Like if I cheat on my girl now
and she decides to bust my car windows,
that's it, I don't have car windows,
I gotta put a trash bag on my car as a window,
Not even a clear one, like a white bag,
I gotta rip it off,,,
No!
We lost Bobby!
Damn it!
Okay,
Time to write,
Babe, I'm home,
Babe?
Hey there, you,
How was your day?
Uh, it was rough, honestly,
But you know what they say,
Hopefully tomorrow's better, right?
You maybe wanna talk about it, or,,,
Sure, why not?
So, I go into work and I punch into the clock,
and I have to deal with these idiot customers
who are like, "How does this look on me?
Does this make me look fat?"
And the answer is, "Yes, ma'am, it makes you look fat
because you are fat,"
- Right, - And Brittany,,,
Oh my gosh, babe, Brittany
gets on my nerves so bad!
Literally, everything's just so happy all the time with her,
And then I go to my acting class,
we learn the same thing over and over and over again,
and then I go to my audition and it ends with, "Thanks,
we'll call you," and they never do,
And I'm just starving, so I'm just gonna throw on
some clothes and get some food,
Damn,
Yeah, that,,, that sounds really rough,
And a lot like a monologue,
But why,,, why you gotta go out though?
Right, why don't you just stay in with me?
We could, uh, order some takeout,
you know, could Netflix and chill,
Netflix and chill, that's all you ever do
is Netflix and chill, play videogames,
Netflix and chill some more,
and that's why you're getting fat,
I'm not getting fat!
What,,, we both know I have a high metabolism,
and I do CrossFit,
And you and I both know I don't just sit around all day
and watch TV and play videogames,
I'm working hard on my movie,
Samantha, come on, wait a minute!
- Look, look,,, - What, what is it?
Look, I just ordered your favorite shrimp linguini,
all right, we can watch whatever you wanna watch,
I'll even give you a foot rub,
- A foot rub does seem tempting, - Come on,
No, no, I gotta go, I have stuff to do,
But where are you rushing off to?
You've been gone all day,
To go hang out with friends, Matt,
something you don't know about 'cause you don't have any,
- do you? - I do,
You do, who?
Cedric's my friend,
Cedric, the guy who helped you produce your first film?
Okay, all right,
When's the last time you spoke with Cedric, Matt?
Uh,,,
Huh?
Exactly, Wanna know why?
Because he became a big Hollywood producer
while you became this little hermit thing,
And you know what, another thing,
I should've been in that dag-gone movie,
- Oh, here we go, - Yeah, here we go again,
We had just started dating,
I didn't even know you wanted to be an actress,
How could you not know?
I was a model, obviously I wanted to be an actress,
You know what, I'm not doing this with you,
- I gotta go, - Samantha! Can you at least,,,
What?
Can you please take out the trash
before you,,, before you go?
Come on!
What the fuck?
Matt, what are you doing with my phone?
Better question:
Why is this on here?
I don't remember a man that big,
- What? - Huh?
Are you being serious right now?
No! Babe, no!
This is a,,,
This is a joke,
Is this guy's dick the punchline?
'Cause I'm not laughing,
You know what?
You're right,
You're so right, you're so right,
It's just that this weirdo is, you know,
sending me pictures of his really huge dick,
and,,,
He just makes me feel violated, you know?
I feel violated right now,
Samantha, Samantha,
You seriously can't be trying to get me to sympathize for you
with those fake-ass Paula Patton tears of yours,
Okay, All right,
So what do you wanna hear, that I cheated on you?
No, not really!
Well, I did, Sorry,
Not sorry,
Why, Samantha?
Wait, haven't I been good to you?
No! Not at,,, are you serious?
You haven't taken me out in forever,
No trips, no shopping, no nothin',
not that you could 'cause I'm sure
that Life's A Beach money has gots to be gone by now,
- Sam, - And you know what else?
You haven't been, you know,
satisfying me,
you know, in the manly ways,
Okay, that was like the last couple of times,
Okay, and I told you, I've,,, I've had a lot on my mind,
The pressure of making this film,
You,,, Matt, oh my gosh,
Listen to me,
There is no film, okay?
There's no film,
There's just you in this house
afraid to go outside and make shit happen,
That's what there is,
Give me my damn phone,
Samantha, come on!
Hey, wait!
Wait, why are you leaving?
Can we at least just talk?
You wanna talk?
You wanna work things out?
Then come out here and show me, Matt,
Show me that you really want me,
Samantha, I do want you,
Then come show me,
Come outside,
Ooh,
You know what, I knew it, I am so done, Matthew,
No, Samantha, come on!
Fuck,
The bin is just in the back,
I could give you a tip, It's,,,
It's literally down the side,,,
That's cool, man,
Hey, bro, hey, no five stars for you,
Man, forget you, Sarah!
How could you leave Peter for a rock star, man?
Fucked up,
Wait,
Wait, did she leave me for a rock star?
Oh, man, this is her favorite,
It's so good,
This'll make for some really good footage,
Hey, Dave, uh,
I don't recall requesting any maintenance or anything,
Maintenance?
That's funny,
Then how can I help you?
Uh, the better question is,
how can you help yourself not get kicked out this bitch?
I don't understand,
Maybe this'll help,
A three-day pay or quit?
No,
No, this doesn't make any sense,
I just paid my rent,
Yeah, with a check that bounced,
like you'll have to do very soon,
I'm not leaving my place, man,
Look, look, I'ma take care of this right now, all right?
Just, hold up,
Here, man,
Man, I'm not taking this, man!
You got three days, three motherfucking days,
Wow,
Okay,
It's cool, it's cool,
It's just more motivation for me to make this film happen, right?
Okay, so let's finish up this script,
It's almost done,
Might as well just start casting it, right?
Okay,
Steve,,,
He could work,
Yeah,
Okay,
Hey, Steven,
It's, uh, Matt Hillard,
Hey,
Hey, Steven, thank you so much, man,
for coming by on such short notice,
Just Steve, and it's all good, man,
I love acting,
I mean, it means everything to me,
It's life,
That's great!
Let's, um, let's get to auditioning then,
All right,
Right,
I'm sorry I don't have any sides,
I'm still finishing up the script, but, uh,
you can do like a monologue if you have one,
I got you, buddy,
Okay, cool,
- Here goes everything, - All right,
So you wanna mess with me, pal?
Okay, how about I snatch your eyes out,
cram 'em down your throat, and have you choke on them?
You little punk pussy bitch!
Scene, and scene, scene, scene,
Steven, scene,
Okay, yeah, wow,
So, do I get the part?
Um,,,
what was that from?
Well, when I was in the psych ward,
shit got real,
Okay,
- I'll call you, - You better, man,
Otherwise I'll come back and stab you in the head,
Oh, shit,
Ced?
Matthew Hillard,
What up, man?
Man, what's up?
It's been a long time,
Way too long,
I heard you, uh,
you're working on some type of home video,
movie type of thing?
Yeah, yeah, it's, uh,
a little bit of like a little passion project,
you know, something like that,
Yeah, uh, passion projects are cool, Matt, they really are,
but they don't pay the bills,
You know what does though, right?
I don't know, uh, comic book movies?
Okay, well, those pay for everything,
but what I'm talking about, Matt, is sequels,
- Sequels? - Sequels,
Wait, you calling to talk to me about the,,,
You're goddamn right I am, Matt,
Life's A Beach 2, Let's do it, what you think?
Man, I can't afford this,
to fund another feature right now, man,
I am so happy you said that
because this time, you wouldn't have to,
A studio wants to finance it for us, Matt,
All we gotta do now
is attach you as the writer and director,
But hey, this deal, man,
it's off the table in a few weeks, man,
We gotta close it soon,
Nah, I can't do it, man,
Nah, I can't do it,
Still refusing to walk out the door, ain't you, Matt?
It's just, I got,,, I got this other project, man,
This,,, this whole breakup thing with me and Samantha,,,
I can't even focus on all that right now, man,
I'm trying to figure all this out,
You know what, Matt?
Say no more, um, how about I just stop by
and we can talk about it in person?
I don't know, I don't think that's,,,
Yeah, man, I'll see you in an hour, we good,
No, no, man,,,
Matt, I'll see you in like 20 minutes, my brother,
I'll stand here,
look over here,
Hey, Ced,
What's goin' on here?
What's goin' on,,,
is a party, man,
and I'm here,,,
Mmm, well, uh,
we're here to celebrate the return of Matthew Hillard,
filmmaker extraordinaire, baby!
Life's A Beach 2, don't leave me hanging!
Now's,,, now's not a really good time, so,,,
Loosen up, man,
Ladies, make your way inside,
Make yourself at home, make a sandwich,
whatever you wanna do,
Ooh!
I already got an erection,
Let's do it!
This is better than Hennessy,
This is crazy,
Uh, Matthew, my boy,
Uh,,,
So, about this sequel,
Ced, man, I already told you,
- dude, I'm not,,, - You wanna do it, right?
No, I'm not trying to do that right now,
Because of this other project?
What's,,, what's it even called?
I'm still working on the title,
Where's the script? Let me read it,
I'm still,,, I'm still working on it,
Have you cast any actors?
Due to a recent turn of events,
I've, uh, I've decided to just play all the parts myself,
Matt, I'm not gonna lie to you, dawg, that sounds awful,
You're better than that, Matt,
Come on, man, you need to be making real money,
making real movies,
and gettin' a whole lot of this,
Damn, you smell good,
Listen, Matt, you've always deserved better
than that big-forehead-havin',
weird chin, stank-attitude-havin',,,
All right, Ced, Ced, that's enough, man,
That's enough, I'm not,,, I'm not doing the project,
all right, and it's way more than me not,,,
you know,,, want,,,
You ever seen Clerks II?
I don't think anybody's seen Clerks II,
My point exactly, man,
It's like a bad night out with your friends
that you just wish never happened
so no one talks about it,
What the fuck is he talking about?
Listen, Matt, fuck Clerks II, you understand?
We are talking about Life's A Beach 2, man,
What we made together, think about it, right?
Martin is on the beach, right,
contemplating getting married
and everything that comes with the married life, man,
and if he really wants to jump the broom or not,
Matt, it's genius, let's make millions!
So, uh, when are we gonna get to the sex?
Because I have other clients to see,
Wait, sex?
It wasn't part of the original package,
but, um,,,
Are you serious?
Oh, yeah, that's my specialty,
Oh,
We can talk, I know,
- Excuse me, Boo, I gotta,,, - Let me do this,
Bitch, you gotta move now, all right, come on,
I already know, you gotta have it too,
- Hey, Ced, - Hmm?
Please tell me you didn't just bring hookers into my house,
Come on, man, I wouldn't bring hookers in your house,
I brought escorts,
There's a difference!
Man, what were you thinking?
Man, I'm thinking that I gotta get you outta this damn house
and back out there, back in the game,
doing what you love to do, man,
And don't say you don't miss it,
In college, all you talked about was
how I was gonna be Brian Grazer to your Ron Howard,
I know,
- People change, - I know, Matt,
and I get that, bro, I really do,
I sympathize with everything you've been through,
It's hard, but you can't let that stop you, dawg,
- You can't, - Dude, I appreciate
the pep talk, man, I really do,
but I just,,, I think you should go, man,
I got a movie to make happen,
I already paid 'em,
Let's do it,
Mmm,
Want some?
What the fuck? No! No!
Y'all gotta go, that's enough, Cedric, handle that,
- They're playing around, - They're not playing!
Y'all can't be doing this right now,
No!
Where are you going?
Hey, come on, ladies, we gotta go,
Matt, oh, what, you got some nasty cyber,,,
- Matt? - No, man, this is my mom,
Oh, tell her I said hi,
- Wait, where y'all goin'? - One sec, Ma, one sec,
Hey, Ms, Hillard,
Listen, Matt, Life's A Beach 2,,,
What the hell is this?
- Matt, no, - Thank you, thank you,
I'm not no gar,,, hey, this is a new blazer!
Matt, baby, are you having a party?
- What's wrong? - Hey, no, yes, yes, no,
I mean, no, Cedric,,, Cedric brought some girls over,
things got a little bit crazy,
Cedric, that boy ain't nothing but a womanizer,
I don't even know why you hang out with him,
To make movies, Ma,
We made movies together,
Yeah, well, you don't make movies anymore,
so there's no need to hang out, right?
Which brings me to my next point,
Baby, what are you doing for money these days?
I don't understand what's happening,
I'm,,, I'm still making movies, Ma, okay?
I mean, I'm,,, I'm working on one right now, anyway,
You know what I think you should do?
I think you should go out and make a movie
like a real director, you know, like that Mr, Spielberg,
- Like Steven Spielberg? - He is very good,
And everybody likes his movies, so you should be like that,
I am a real director, Ma,
I'm just trying something different,
If you say so,
- Did you get the box? - Yes, I did,
- Did you open it? - No, I didn't,
- Are you gonna open it? - I don't know, Ma,
Matt, I know you don't want to hear this,
but I really think you need some professional help, sweetheart,
I,,, I don't need any help, Mom,
I think you do, so now listen, now just talk to me for a second
because, see, I've been reading my books,
and they say you either need a therapist or some drugs,
and you know Mommy does not do drugs
and I don't want you doing drugs,,,
Clearly the only path is therapist,
Have you thought about that?
There's a big world out there, baby,
There's butterflies and fish and trees
and everything that you haven't seen in a very long time,
and I just want you to experience the world,
and also, Samantha, your girl, she's not gonna hang around
and wanna sit in the house all day with you,
Yeah, um,,,
Yeah, we broke up,
I wonder why,
So it's my fault?
I'm just saying, no woman wants to sit in the house
and eat bad Chinese food and have sad-ass foot massages,
and that's all you got to offer right now, sweetheart,
Look, you need to expand your horizons, go out,
find some career opportunities and make it happen for her,
You want to keep your girl, don't you?
Oh my God, Ma, for real?
- Okay, then let's make it,,, - Angela!
- Oh, I'm sorry, - Baby!
Yes! Sorry, hang on,
That's room service, sweetheart, and, um,,,
Oh, wow, the, um, the food looks,,,
really delicious,
Um, Mommy's gonna,,,
Mommy's gonna call you back, okay, baby?
All right,
Fuck this,
Intruder, intruder!
Who the hell are you?
Get off!
Wait a minute,
This ain't my place,
No, man!
No, this is not your place, man!
This is mine! So get out!
I'm sorry, man, I'm sorry,
I'm smokin' a whole lot of weed and it's got me trippin',
Well, trip the fuck outta my place, man!
Okay, all right, just give me a second to compose myself, man,
What are you doin', man?
I was smokin',,,
I smoked some of that purple OG Yoda kush,
It was all in the bushes, it's jungle booty,
Like a goddamn safari in there,
Okay, man, I don't,,, I don't want to hear
about all that, all right?
I just,,, I just need you to go,
Feel like a Black Tarzan swingin' in and out,,,
All right, I don't,,, I don't want to hear about that,
I need you to go,
Like, right now,
Okay, all right, just hold on, my dude,
Just wait a second, okay?
I'm like,,,
I'm leaving,,,
Do I know you, man?
You look mad familiar,
You,,, you an actor?
Yeah, sort,,, sorta,
I did this movie a while back,
I wrote and I directed,
It's called Life's A Beach,
Oh, word, that is you!
Yo, that's my joint!
It's, uh, uh,
Clerks at the Beach, is what they call it, right?
- Yeah, - Yeah!
Yeah, it was,,,
it was like a, um,
like a little inspiration for the film,
I just wanted to do something like outside, you know,
a lot with a little, you know,
with a good view, got the beach,
All them booties up in there,
- Yeah, man! - One hell of a view, Jack,
You know, I do,,, I do writing too,
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah, yeah,
Man, come and sit down, man, have a seat,
Yeah, so like I said, you know,
I, you know, I do a little writing,
you know, started off doing stand-up,
Wait, Norman Reed?
That is I,
Oh, shit, man!
Me and my boys, we used to,,, we used to come watch you
back in the,,, you've been doing this for a minute,
Yeah, I have, yeah, I've been doin' it for a minute,
but I ain't, like, you know,
I ain't like prosper and blow up,,,
- Right, right, - ,,,the way I intended,
So I just started, you know, got into writing stuff,
- wrote a few scripts, - What'd you write, man?
I, uh, wrote a few things, you know,
You ever hear of, uh, Stick 'Em Up?
- No, - You never heard of that?
- No, - Crime drama,
It's about this dude, he be robbing people,
he robbed the rich and give to the poor,
Poor, mainly him though,
Oh, it's like,,, like Robin Hood,
Yeah, yeah, something,,, something like that,
And then, you ever hear of Little Miss Sunshine?
You heard of that?
- You wrote that? - No, no, I didn't write that,
but I wrote something similar to it,
it's this movie called Little Miss Goodfoot,
And, like my sister, she's a dance mom,
and she's,,, this bitch is crazy,
be having my niece doing all kind of dance moves
she can't even do,
She be having her dance so much,
she be bustin' moves in her sleep,
You heard me, I'm like, yo, she be like,,,
- In her sleep though! - That's crazy,
That's the crazy part, right?
What you,,, what you,,, what you workin' on?
Oh, man, uh, I'm just doing this little movie from home,
Uh, it's like me just, like,
running around doing shit around the house and shit,
- Oh, - It's like, it's just me,
So,,,
Oh, shit,
Oh, you dead-ass serious,
- Right? - Yeah,
Man,
Well, that shit sounds horrible,
But, you know, you might be able to pull it off though, you know,
'Cause I've seen your skills, and you,,, you nice with 'em,
- Thanks, man, - Yeah, yeah,
that shit be believable, but you know what though?
Like check this out,
You should let me help you write it,
Like I got,,, yo, I got mad jokes,
great ideas,,,
- I don't know, - ,,,and my timing is impeccable,
- I don't know, man, - No, I'm just sayin',
Look, if you're worried about bread,
you ain't gotta pay me a dime,
Just let a brother get a little shine,
that's all I ask, just a little shine, playboy,
- All right, - That shine gonna get me paid,
you know what I mean, I don't,,, I don't want no bread from you,
- All right, - Yeah,
Well, it's,,, it's still just gonna be starring me though, so,
I mean, yeah, I mean, we can talk about that,
It's all good,
Okay, yeah, cool,
- That's what's up, - Yeah,
All right, there it is,
- But the door is,,, - Oh!
- My room is,,, yeah, - Oh, yeah, yeah, it sure is,
it sure is,
I think yours is on the other side,
- Yeah, nice bed set though, - Thank you,
Yeah, that IKEA shit dope,
Um, can I help you?
Matthew Hillard, I take it?
Yeah?
Um,,, you, uh,
you here for like a signature?
Are you doing like an interview on me or something?
No, my name is Lisa Cole,
I'm here because your mother hired me
to help you with your condition,
Oh, no, I don't,,, I don't have a condition,
Yeah, so I don't,,, I don't need any help,
So you can just go, yeah,
- Okay, sorry to bother you, - No worries,
I'm sorry you wasted your time,
It's just that your mom had purchased this package deal,
and I'd really hate
to just, you know, take her money like that,
Then just give it back,
I can't just give it back,
There's a no-refund policy, so, sorry,
But I know that if it was my mom
who spent $3,000,,,
Wait, hold up, 3,000?
Of her personal, hard-earned retirement savings,,,
Okay, all right, all right,
Damn, um,,,
yeah, yeah, um,
yeah, come on in,
but just so you know, I don't,,, I don't have a problem,
Okay, fill that out,
What the fuck?
You,,, do you want some water or some snacks or something?
Oh, no, I'm fine, but thanks for offering,
Yeah,
You should've took the snacks
'cause you're not gonna get anything else outta me,
I pretty much put my whole life down on those papers,
Um, it's fine,
I just want us to address your condition
so we can work towards resolving it,
Yeah, I don't,,, I don't have a condition,
I'm just fine,
Okay, well, after speaking with your mother
and reviewing your questionnaire,
it's just as I figured,
You suffer from agoraphobia,
which is a fear of going outside
due to trauma and loss,
It affects 1,7% of Americans in the U,S,
This is your condition,
Yeah, no, I don't,,, I don't have agora,,,
whatever it is you just said,
I,,, I choose not to go outside,
Just say it,
"I can do it,"
Yeah, I don't think this is gonna work,
Because you don't think that I can help,
I really want to help people,
and I try really hard to help people,
but, you know, maybe I just suck at this,
No, no, no, no, no, no,
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
You can help me, all right?
It's okay,
What the fuck is goin' on?
I'm consoling my new friend,
she was,,, we're sitting here talking,,,
we're talking about some stuff,
Stuff?
I've been gone for less than 48 hours,
and you're already hooking up with somebody else,
You,,, you hooked up with someone else
before we even broke up,
Who is he, Sam?
Is he a rock star?
No,
He's an actor, if you must know,
And you know what, we met at an audition,
and he took me out
and made me feel wanted and special,
and, you know, some other things
I'm sure you can figure out from the picture,
- You're disgusting, Sam, - You're pathetic,
So, how'd you two meet?
You know, since he don't go outside,
Oh,,, is she an escort?
Have you been talking to Cedric?
Okay, so I hate to intrude,
but it sounds like you two need to take,,,
Can you please shut up? Ain't nobody talking to you,
All right, Sam, you don't gotta talk to her like that,
Okay, first of all, I can talk to whoever I want,
however I want, when I want to, and nobo,,,
One second, hold on one second,
Hello?
Hi!
Mm-hmm,
Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, I'm on my way,
Thank you,
That was my agent,
I have an audition to go to,
I'll be back to get my things though,
Or I could just leave 'em outside for you,
Or burn them!
I have no idea how she has an agent,
She has never booked anything ever,
Thanks for sticking up for me,
Yeah, no problem, Where were we?
Me trying to help you,
Yeah, let's do that, let's do that,
Okay, so, we're gonna start off
with some breathing and visualization exercises,
so get comfortable,
All right,
Okay, now close your eyes,
Take deep breaths,
And one more,
Now visualize what you fear the most,
Oh, no, I don't think I wanna do that,
- Okay, okay, too soon? - Yeah,
Okay, um, we'll get there in time,
Okay,
You mind walking me to my car?
I'm,,, I'm usually more of a gentleman,
but, uh, I hurt my leg, so,,,
Okay,
- Maybe next time, - Yeah,
Oh, God!
Thank you,
You're gonna be okay, Matt,
It's gonna be okay,
I'm gonna help you, I promise,
"Agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder,"
Hey, what's up, Ced?
My man, What up, boy?
Man, just,,, over here doing some research,
Oh, um, I got a new writing partner,
A writing partner? Who?
Um, stand-up comedian Norman Reed,
You remember from the Shaking Martini
back in the day?
- That guy's a writer? - That's what he said,
People say a lot of things, Matt, listen,
we got this deal on the table, bro, okay?
Big money we're talkin' about right now,
I told you, I'm focused on making my film right now, man,
I got the new writing partner,
I'ma be rehearsing soon, we're gonna start filming soon,
I'm sorry, man, I just,,,
I'm not doing the sequel,
You know what, listen,
I'll call you next week, you know,
we'll figure it all out because I know your schedule
is just busy right now, and me too,
so we'll talk about it next week,
All right,
If the director of Tangerine can do it,
so can I,
So that's how you wanna play it, huh?
I'm from the streets,
and that's how we play it over here, homie,
Just because you're from the streets
don't mean you can't elevate higher, my brother,
As long as we in this land
where they made us slaves,
we ain't ever gonna be free!
So that's how you wanna play it, huh?
I'm from the streets, and that's how we,,,
Clearly I gotta do some rehearsing,
Hey, Ma, what's up?
Baby, I am just treating myself to a luxurious, fantastic bath,
It's gonna be awesome, You know what?
You should treat yourself more often too,
You should,,, Are you okay, baby?
Yeah, I'm just,,, I'm, uh, I'm having some complications
with the new movie,
Ma, why did you,,,
why did you hire me a therapist and not tell me?
- Huh? - The therapist, Lisa,
- Oh, - Ma, I told you already,
I don't need any help, okay?
I'm good,
Baby, I am so sorry,
I didn't mean to intrude, I just wanted to help you,
Okay?
Are you,,, are you okay? Are you getting better?
Is it helping?
Yeah, yeah,
A little bit,
Well, that's good, right?
I mean, soon you'll be able to go outside
and make real movies again,
Ma, I am making a real movie, Ma, I'm,,,
You know, I don't,,,
I don't have time for this right now, all right?
I just wanna let you know, Mommy's so proud of you,
And I love you so much, Okay?
Do you love,,, wait,
Sorry, baby, um,
Mommy's gotta go, but, uh, I will call you back, okay?
I love you, baby,
I gotta,,,
Samantha, what are you doing here?
Well, I originally came to get the rest of my things
until my friend calls and tells me
that you're doing this?
What the hell?
I should've been the first person you called
when you decided to do this, Matt,
No, I didn't decide to do anything,
It's the Hollywood Reporter, they don't print lies,
You're doing Life's A Beach 2, and I want in,
But I'm not!
Aight, and even if I was, why would I put you in the movie?
Because you love me, duh,
But you cheated on me,
Let's, you know,,,
leave that in the past and focus on the here and now,
- The here and now,,, - Mm-hmm,
,,,is you getting your stuff
that I already have packed and ready for you
and leaving me alone,
Fine,
I'll get my stuff and I'll go,
but I'm not giving up on us getting back together
and me being a star,
It's not happening,
We'll see,
Lord, please give my penis the strength to resist
this thirsty she-devil,
So I'll, uh,,,
,,,see you around, big boy,
Oh, fuck me,
Who is it?
It's me, Dave, open up,
What now, Dave?
What now is the next step to me kicking you the fuck outta here,
This is for you,
An eviction notice?
Yeah, a motherfucking eviction notice,
You've been motherfucking notified
that I'm evicting your bitch ass,
This,,, this is crazy,
I can just grab my checkbook right now,
- We can settle this, - Are you serious?
Fuck your checkbook,
Fuck you, you broke-ass motherfucker,
Like, ooh, I can't wait to kick you the fuck outta here,
You so outta here!
Hey, man, why did you put that information
about me doing the sequel to Life's A Beach in the trades?
Because I know you really want to do the film,
and you know you really want to do the film,
Me putting that info out, man,
that's just your boy pushing you in the right direction,
Okay, okay, let,,,
let's just say,,, let's just say that I wanna do it,
and I'm not saying that I do,
How does that work with me not being able to go outside?
Matt, man, I don't know, okay?
You take a look in the mirror and you say,
"Yo, I wanna make a movie, I wanna make some money,
I wanna go get a woman who won't leave me,"
and then you take your ass out the house
and you go do it, Matt,
I don't know, man, I'm not a shrink,
- You figure it out, - Dude, I'm trying, Ced,
Matt, trying is for little kids and for losers,
You're a winner, man,
Come on, Matt,
Just make it happen,
Come on, bro,
Come on, baby, we're gonna be late for the movie,
Baby, I'm trying to make a movie,
you're trying to see a movie,
And did you check into rehab?
Day 480,,,
and, uh,
feels like I could be close to, um,,,
going back outside and making films again,
That'd be crazy, right?
Speaking of, let's see what's up
with the other humans in the outside world, right?
Okay,
Hey, guys, I'm back,
Let's do some more comments, all right?
Uh, let's see, um,
PJButter says, "About damn time
you get back to making the magic happen,"
Uh, SusieQ says, "I love you, Matt,
and I can't wait to see your new movie in theaters,"
SteveTheStabber says,
"I'd better be in your film or else,"
What the hell?
I am gonna make this happen, you guys,
Okay,
Hey, Norman, what's up, man?
Don't "what's up" me,
Are you mad at me?
Hell yeah, I'm mad at your ass,
How you gonna do the sequel to Life's A Beach
without even telling me about it?
I didn't tell you or anyone
because I didn't even know if I was doing it or not,
All right, I still don't know,
My producer's trying to persuade me to do it
'cause the studio wants to pay him to make it,
Now I'm even more mad at your ass!
How you not gonna do the sequel with the studio
and get me involved with the shit?
I'm sorry, man!
I'm trying to do something different
with this film I'm making,
Something different with the,,,
You talking about the film where you in here by yourself
with your own thoughts?
That film you talking about?
Yes, that one,
You out your motherfuckin' mind!
I think it has potential, man,
And you told me you would help me with it,
I,,, I,,, I will help,,,
Let me,,, let me see the bullshit-ass script
real quick and see what you working with,
Goddamn it,
,,,we in this land where they made us slaves,
we ain't ever gon' be free!
What in the entire fuck is this?
You don't like it?
I don't even know what the fuck it is not to like,
It makes no sense whatsoever,
No, I was,,, I was trying to, you know, film a movie
that takes place at my house,
Interesting, right, so I just,,,
I created, like, all these crazy scenarios
and crazy characters,
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, this shit is wack as fuck, no,
You gotta make this sexy and make it cool
and exciting and shit,
Look, check this out, so you got this woman, right?
She fine as hell, right, and she's in this kitchen
cooking, right, and she cooking naked,
but she cooking, like, frying something,
and then the grease pop on her,
and make her shake, she knock the skillet over
into the fire, now there's fire everywhere
- and she gotta try to escape,,, - No, I don't,,, I don't know
about the fire thing,
That sounds, like, dangerous,
Oh, nah, nah, nah, you gotta think Hollywood,
brother, like, they don't use real fire,
Nobody in Hollywood uses real fire,
- just it's fake fire, - No, none of that in this movie,
- Okay, - It's just,,, it takes place here,
and like none of the characters even leave the house, so,
Okay, that's cool, that's cool,,, okay, check this out, look,
So, it's these bums, right, and they,,,
and they like martial artists,
but people don't know, and they be like, like,
fucking with them on the street,
and they be folding these motherfuckers,
like with, like, these moves that they got,
like,,, like the cardboard,
- and the shopping cart, - Yeah, that sounds ridiculous,
So, just that doesn't even make any sense,
Oh, no, this motherfucker's ridiculous,
What you need to be working on is the sequel to Life's A Beach,
instead of writing this bullshit,
I'm still working on it, it's gonna get better,
I'm just focusing on this right now, so,
You still don't get it,
No, you burn this motherfucker,
like, I will give you the lighter fluid
and the matches to burn this motherfucker,
I don't ever wanna see this shit ever again,
This shit is sickening, do you hear me?
So, like, actual lighter fluid?
I'm talking,,, real fire this time,
- Real this time? - You get what I'm saying?
Burn this with real fire this time,
- Okay, - All this talk about burn,
I'm ready to smoke,
Shit,
That's what I think I'm gonna go do,
I'm gonna smoke a little bit,
Now, if you wanna go clear your head,
and go see some real titties,
and, uh,,,
Yeah, I'm,,, I'm good,
- Maybe another time we can,,, - Nah, nah,
you need to see these, though, these is real titties, like,,,
Yeah, I'm,,, I know you're not a fan of this,
but I'm just gonna focus on that
and try to fix it up a little bit,
If you keep working on this, I promise you,
your life is gonna be a disaster,
- Okay, - Okay,
You brought me a plant,
That's so thoughtful of you,
It's something from the outside,
Like, I kinda already have one, but that's,,, it's cool,
it's beau,,, it's beautiful, thank you,
Well, I have something else for you, too,
Close your eyes, feel the sand,
Okay,
How do you feel?
Free,
So what did you think of?
A place I miss very much,
The beach,
because life's a beach, right?
Wait, you've seen my movie?
Yeah, it's one of my favorites,
But you acted like you didn't know who I was,
Because I wanted to be professional,
and not come off like a groupie,
I see,
So, the meditation worked,
Now, are you ready to talk about what happened
- that caused your,,, - Condition?
Nah, no, fuck that,
'Kay, well, just so you know,
you overcoming your fear enables you to empower others
to be inspired by your victory,
Kinda sound like a really wordy fortune cookie,
Well, thanks, I guess,
I love Chinese food, so it was most definitely a compliment,
So, would you wanna talk about your break up?
I mean, you guys did break up, right?
Yeah,
So, how are you handling that?
I don't really wanna talk about that,
I mean, when does anybody ever really wanna
talk about their break up?
I get it,
And I've been through a lot of really bad break ups,
and I don't wanna talk about 'em either,
You know, and I just sit and think about 'em,
and how I'm all alone,
Sometimes it makes me wanna cry,
Wait, are you really crying right now?
Or is this,,, is this just an act?
No, it's,,, it's my condition,
Your condition?
Yeah, I suffer from emotional hypersensitivity,
What the hell is that?
It's when you're overly sensitive
and emotionally fragile,
The symptoms are more extreme emotional responses,
and a heightened sense of self awareness
compared to others,
And I thought about all that and was like,
"Make a perfect therapist,"
Well, I should be going,
I have to go see my therapist,
Thank you,
- Hey, Ced, - Matt, what the fuck?
- Where you been, bro? - I've been going through a lot
- lately, man, - I know it's hard
to jump back in the ring after everything that happened,
but you gotta do this, man,
I get it, I get it, and I appreciate the push, man,
and I'm working on it,
All right, so just give me the info for the meeting
- and I will be there, - Matt, I knew
you was gonna come through,
That's what I'm talking about, all right look, um,
the meeting's coming up real soon, man, okay, real soon,
- I'm counting on you, - Yeah, no, no, no, I got you,
My boy, all right, let's do it,
All right,
Hey there, Matt, what the fuck is up with that call back?
Hey, Matt,
Oh, let me inside so I can stab you in the head!
You're fucking dead!
You fucking lying cocksucker!
Don't let me catch you in the streets, fucker,
You're a fucking dead man,
Do you hear me, Matt?
Have you been in bed all day?
I have to pee,
Oh, you have a Skype call coming in,
Hi, Matt,
Hi, baby, how are you?
Hey, I just wanted to check on you
and see how you're doing,
You know what, Lisa says you're making progress,
Yeah, Ma, I can't really talk about that right now,
You don't look so good, are you okay?
Yeah, Ma, Lisa's actually here,
That's,,, she just went to the bathroom,
that's why I answered,
Yeah, I gotta go, Ma,
Okay, okay, that's okay, okay,
- I love you, I love you, - All right, I love you too, Ma,
Sorry about that, I've been drinking a lot of water,
and haven't had a cry in a while,
so been having to pee a lot,
Is, uh,,, is oversharing
one of the symptoms of your condition?
I mean, it wasn't on the original list,
So, anything new you wanna talk about?
It's,,,
It's just right,,, right when you think
everything is gonna be okay,
something happens,
and it's just like, "Nope, not happening,"
What happened?
Motherfuckers be crazy,
I don't get it, did someone try to do something to you?
Well, some,,, some,,, someone is always,
always trying to do something to someone,
because,,, because there's a lot of crazy people out there,
You want me to go out there so I can die,
I don't want you to go out there so you can die,
I want you to go out there so you can live,
- I thought you wanted that, too, - Oh, no, I do wanna live,
and that's exactly what I'm doing right here,
just safe and sound,
No, you're not,
This is not life, Matt,
You do know that, right?
Why am I sitting here arguing with you?
Lisa, I'm,,, I'm sorry,
This,,, this just isn't gonna work,
All right, I just,,, I think maybe you should just go,
You don't think this is gonna work?
'Cause I really believe that we're making progress,
I told your mother
that we were making progress,
Please don't make me out to be a liar,
Please don't,,, don't cry,
I'm not, I'll just go,
Come on,
No, thank you, I will be fine,
Yo, Matt, what's going on, man?
The clock is ticking,
Stop dicking around and call me back, bro,
We gotta make this deal happen,
Matt, I've been trying to FaceTime with you,
but you haven't been logging on and answering my calls,
Is everything okay?
Hi, Matt, just calling to see how you're holding up,
and to say you do have the strength to face your fears
and get back out there,
If you need someone to talk to,
I'm here for you,
Hey, babe,
So, uh,
you gonna tell me what's going on with you?
No,
You know you can do whatever you wanna do
whenever you wanna do it?
I heard the stories about you,
and I get it, that was some fucked up shit that went down,
- But that's life, - Look, I don't,,,
- I don't wanna talk about it, - Fine, yeah,
you ain't gotta talk about it,
So, what you gonna do, just let your life go by?
Yep,
Mm-hm,
You can't do that,
You got to get up, get out,
and make something happen for yourself,
And when you succeed,
I want 10 percent of everything you get,
Okay,
Now, you get up and you get your shit together,
before I make it 15 percent,
Oh, you gonna roll your eyes over 20 percent?
Better be happy and give me that 25 percent,
Thank you, okay,
Tripping over 30 percent,
It's not,,, like, we're not even negotiating
- or anything, - 35,
Oh, no, Samantha, why are you here?
- You already got all your stuff, - No, I didn't,
I checked, you did,
Well, you're mine, too,
so I came back,,, for you,
I'm not really trying to do this with you right now,
or ever again,
We're over, Samantha,
Are you sure you don't wanna get that?
Mm-mm,
Could be an audition, maybe even a call back,
This could be your big break,
My big break is right in front of my face,
That's typical,
All this is just about you getting what you want,
Matt, what I want
is a second chance,
and I think after everything I've been through with you,
I deserve it,
I,,, I didn't force you to stay,
I,,, I'm sorry
that I was so fucked up 'cause I experienced
some really fucked up shit, but you could've walked away
- at any time, - Okay, but I didn't want to,
I loved you,
and I wanted to be there for you, and I fucked up,
All right, but,
baby, who cares?
I can change, you can change,
We can have a fresh, new start, we can be that power couple
we always thought we could be, you know, like Will and Jada,
- No, - Yeah,
Fuck it,
- No, Samantha, no, - What?
- No, this is not happening, - No?
You know, I know you're used to getting your way all the time,
- but not this time, - Not this time?
Oh, shit,
- Look, Samantha, listen, - Hm, what?
Baby, don't worry about that, just forget about it,
It's just me and you, just focus on me,
I'll be right there,
Okay, seriously, get off,
Hey,
Chris, what are you doing here?
Didn't I tell you to wait in the car?
And I was, but I got a call from my agent
about a last-minute audition,
What the hell is going on here?
I thought you said that you were picking up something
from your parents, and what's with this text
about I can just leave?
And who is this guy?
Chris, is it?
Yeah, and you are?
Matt Hillard,
Wait, writer and director of Life's A Beach?
That's me,
Holy shit,
Yo, that is my shit, I fucking love that movie, man,
and word is,,, word is you're doing a sequel,
All right, if you are, I gotta get in on an audition
for that, right, because,,,
Wait, is,,, is that what this is about?
You were trying to come audition for him on the low?
That's exactly what this is about,
Yeah, I, um, just didn't wanna tell you
unless I got the part,
Babe, how you just gonna try to sneak
and get this opportunity on the low by yourself?
I thought we were in this together,
I mean, this isn't you trying to sleep your way in, is it?
No, no, I'm not that kind of person,
I wanna make it on my talent and my talent alone,
- Okay, - You know?
Well, Matt, did she get the part?
Hey, can I audition, too, actually,
- 'cause I got chops, - No, not,,, I don't know, man,
I don't,,, I,,, you know, I gotta consult with my producers,
my casting director, you know how it is,
Oh yeah, okay, but hey, look,
- don't forget about me, man, - No,
Okay, but seriously, Sam, I gotta get to this audition,
- Let's go, - Hey, Chris, can we,,,
can we get a quick minute?
It's fine, yeah, yeah,
But, Sam, if you're not in the car in five minutes,
I'm out, all right, and yo, Matt,
I'm glad you're back,
- Keep doing your thing, man, - Yes, sir,
- Keep doing your thing, - Yes, sir,
Matt Hillard,
I knew that you still loved me,
That's just it,
I don't,
Bullshit,
Why would you just cover for me then?
'Cause I didn't want that guy to feel what I felt,
Maybe, maybe I just want you to see
how fucked up you really are,
and unless you completely change,
you just gonna keep fucking things up
for yourself and everyone else,
Fuck you, Matt,
Samantha, I really think you should get some help,
Like professional help,
I should get some help?
You, of all people, are telling me
I should get some help, that I'm crazy?
Right, you're right,
I'm crazy for thinking that you could ever make me happy,
Fuck this,
And fuck you, too, Matt,
I really appreciate you stopping by,
I've been meaning to call you and apologize
for what happened last time,
Just wanted to make sure that you were okay,
and it's cool,
I'm sure that with everything that you've been going through,
it's just a lot to deal with,
No, it is, but that's,,,
that's no excuse,
So, how you been?
Up and down,
You know, um,
I,,, I do feel like we were making progress,
Then, um,,, then something happened,
What happened?
I don't really wanna talk about it,
Did you fall off a cliff?
- No, - Get hit by a car?
- No, - Shot in the line of duty?
No,
So, what is it?
I just don't wanna talk about it, I'm sorry,
So, clearly I'm failing at this, so I'm just gonna go,
No, all right, okay, I'm,,, I'm sorry,
All right, I,,, I had this guy
audition for my movie,
Steven Vendetti,
And he came by my place recently and he threatened me,
If he wasn't a threat anymore, would that help you?
Yeah, yeah,
Yeah, that,,, that would,,,
Yeah, that'd make me feel a lot safer actually,
Yeah, I could, I don't know, like,,,
Could what?
Get back to making movies again,
I don't know, like,
take a stroll maybe,
Outside,
With you,
What is it, is it my breath?
Uh, no, I just have to pee,
but all this sounds really great, Matt,
- I'll be right back, - Yeah, okay,
You know what, I'm gonna go,
- Are you okay? - No,
I'm just gonna leave, and you should
probably clean up, your place is a mess right now,
Wait, I'm confused, I thought you said you had to pee,
I do, I mean, I did, but now I'm gonna go,
- Wait, are you crying? - It's my allergies,
Wait, it's not your emotional hypersensitivity thing?
- No, allergies, - Wait, Lisa, come on,
What did,,, what did I do?
Oh, fuck,
Hey, you've reached Lisa, leave a message,
Lisa, Lisa,
please come back, please, I,,, I can explain everything,
just,,, or just call me,
Please,
To my son,
You're 18 years young this day,
and your life is just really starting to begin,
Now, I know there's a lot of things that you wanna do,
and despite all the challenges that you may endure,
I still support you, son,
Just when you make it big, please retire me
and your mother,
And no matter what happens in life, son,
keep following your dreams,
Love, your Dad,
We always did have the good stuff,
Day 498,
And, um,
it seems like I was almost free,
but nope,
No,
No, this place,,, this place is gonna be the place
I'm gonna be at until Dave's punk ass kicks me out,
Man, I,,, I fucking hate that guy, man,
But, I love Lisa,
And she left me, she left me because of Samantha,
That woman is out of my life
and she's still ruining it,
What?
That is some really bad juju,
And my mom,,, my mom tried to help me,
but it doesn't fucking matter,
Nothing matters,
Doesn't matter,
Except my dreams,
But now all I'm living are these nightmares,
I got,,, I'm living a nightmare,
And Cedric, man, I'm letting Cedric down,
Oh,
Oh, this motherfucker,
Oh, Dave,
Hey, what the hell do you want?
Hey, man, actually I heard that you were doing a movie,
a sequel to a movie you did before
- that was a big hit, - Oh, you did?
Like, yeah, it's all over the Twitter, man,
Oh, is it, and?
Been hitting that bottle kinda hard, haven't you?
Oh, I've been hitting the bottle kinda hard,
and if I have?
- Hey, man, whatever feels right, - Right,
But, look, I was thinking with you doing this movie,
you gotta be getting paid, so you think you'll
have that rent check any time soon?
Mm, mm, mm,
No,
No, I don't have it, but,
when I do,
- you have it, - Okay,
Hey, look, man, that's cool, 'cause look,
I would hate to have to evict a big superstar like you,
- Exactly, you can't, - But, you know what?
Speaking of superstars, in addition to being
a property manager, I do a little bit of acting,
Oh, wow,
Yo,
Fuck no,
- Oh, - No,
Hey, but if you change your mind, man, let me know,
I got your back, Matt,
Life's A Beach,
Motherfucker,
Go away, Dave!
Okay, I don't have your money, and you can't audition!
And I hate you!
Hi, baby, it's me, it's Mommy,
- Mom, is that you? - Yes,
Can you please open the door?
Mom, hey, Mom,
Oh, wow,
- You look terrible, - Well, Mom,
I finally opened the box, and look what I found,
Are you proud of me that I finally opened it?
- Yeah, - I finally did it,
Give me this,
You need to sit down,
Really?
Babe,
Oh, God,
You smell like a street corner wino,
You know the last time we talked, you said
- you were getting better, - I was,
And it just all,,, it just all went to hell,
I can see that,
Baby, I've been calling Lisa on her phone
and she's not answering,
I'm calling you on your phone, you're not answering,
I wanna know what's happening, I mean, is she helping you,
- is she getting you better? - I love her,
- I love her, Mom, - Who?
Lisa,
Oh, no, baby, no,
You can't love your therapist,
That's unethical, and quite frankly,
- it's just plain,,, - Well, you can't help
who you love, Mom,
God,
Baby, I brought Lisa in to help you get your life back,
To get you back to doing the things that you love,
and to get you out of this house to see the world,
I,,, I am not going anywhere,
I'm,,, I'm staying right here
till fucking Dave evicts me,
- Evicts you? - I gotta get money,
and I gotta get Lisa back,
Baby,
you have a problem,
You can't do this alone,
Now, I know your father isn't here,
- but if he were here,,, - Yeah, but he's not here,
Mom,
He's not here,
Oh,
He's not here,
Hey, congratulations, fellas,
I am so proud of you guys,
Hey, a little toast to your success,
- Yeah, - Uh, to your future endeavors
in storytelling and changing lives,
- Woo, - And getting paid,
- All right, there we go, - I like that,
Dennis, what are you doing here, man?
Shut up, asshole!
After 10 years, 10 years,
- and you fire me? - Dad, what's going on?
- You ruined my life, - Okay, look, look,
Dennis, let's just talk about it, huh?
- Whoa, yo! - Yo, yo, man, don't,,,
- No, no! - Oh, my God!
Oh, my God, oh, my God!
Dad, no!
Fuck it,
This lunatic just came out of nowhere
on my graduation day and he took my dad away,
and I was so angry
that I couldn't do anything about it,
I,,, I couldn't stop it,
And slowly but surely, I just saw the outside world
and I just,,,
I couldn't do it anymore,
Every time I would go outside,
I'd just see him there
and just dead,
I know, I know, babe,
I know this has been hard on you,
It's been hard on me, too,
But look at me, look, this is not what your father
would've wanted for you,
But I'm sure he wanted to live,
and so do I, it's just this is why I stay inside
- where it's safe, - Listen to me, okay?
When your father died,
I cried so much and for so long,
I didn't have any tears left to cry,
And then you dealing with your condition,
you couldn't come and see me,
And I was in pain and I was alone,
and I knew I needed help,
So, I found a group therapy,
and,,, and also, it's where I met Roy,
and Roy has been a blessing,
He's been taking me places and making me feel,,,
Wait, you're cheating on Dad?
No,
Listen, I can't cheat on your father,
Your father is gone,
and the sooner you realize that,
the sooner you'll be able to get out there and live again,
No, no,
No, this is where I belong, this is where it's safe,
No, baby, Matt, Matt,
No, Mom, please, just,,,
just,,, it's fine,
Just,,, just go,,, just go be with Ray,
- Roy, - I don't care,
He's not Dad,
All right, just,,, just go,,,
go on your trips and just have a good time,
- Mom, please, - But listen,,,
Mom, no, but nothing,
Just,,,
Just please leave,
Please,
I love you,
and I'm here for you
no matter what, okay?
Come here,
Yo, I'm coming!
God,
Just fucking hold your horses,
Hey, man, what's up?
What's up is every time I see you
you starting to look more and more fucked up,
They should make a bottle of whiskey that refills itself,
- That would be awesome, - Yeah,
Give me that,
Ugh, my head is killing me,
I see why you didn't wanna go to the tittie bar,
You would've got drunk and tried to touch all the titties,
And they got a real strict policy about that,
- Yeah, I know about the policy, - Get your ass rolled out,
Please, believe you me, I know,
I did not take you for an alcoholic,
I'm not an alcoholic,
But I'm an agoraphobic,
One who has sex with frogs?
No, I think that's an ecosexual,
Oh, right,
Well,
seeing you all drunk,
and out your mind, and fucked up,
started reminding me of myself and how I used to be,
Losing my mind, lost women, lost money,
lost opportunity,
Lost all that shit,
But one good thing came out of it,
What's that?
It's part of me,
Script about my life,
About how I used to get all fucked up and drunk,
and losing my mind,
Like, I went to AA, and,,,
and I turned it all around and got it back together,
Sound like a Disney movie,
You can call it whatever you wanna call it,
I was just hoping that maybe you could use it
to get your life back on track,
You know, that's,,,
that's why I did Life's A Beach,
It just,,,
felt so real,
You know, me and my boys, we,,,
we had just finished up our last year of grad school,
went on this beach vacation, just scared,
We didn't know what was gonna happen next,
So, I just wanted to document the whole thing, you know?
Just show these four guys
trying to figure out their life,
and I don't know,
maybe somebody in the same boat
could look at them and say,
"Hey, I'm not alone,"
Well,
looks like my work here is done,
And on that note, I'm out, kid,
You make it happen, all right?
Make me proud,
Um, you wouldn't happen to have
any quarters, like a roll of quarters?
I gotta wash a couple comforters,
Nah, no, Norman,
- I don't have no,,, - No quarters?
I don't have any quarters, man,
Okay, that's all right,
Maybe you can do something with that script
and get me a washer,
That was actually really good,
I can do this,
You can do this, baby,
I'm going outside,
Let's go, man,
You got this, man, let's go,
You can do this,
It's all good,
All right,
Do it,
I can do it,
I can do this,
I can do it,
I can do this,
I can do it,
I can't do it, I can't do this, I'm not doing it,
Hey, I need you,
It's an emergency,
- You came, - You said it was an emergency,
So, what's the emergency?
Please, come in,
After I read Norman's script, I was like,
"I could do this,"
Right, so I,,, I made my way to the door,
and,,,
I couldn't do it,
Sorry to hear that, Matt,
- That's it? - Yeah,
That's all I'm gonna get?
- It's all I got, - Yeah, I get it,
Probably still mad about the panties thing,
It's not like we're a thing,
and we shouldn't be, you're my patient,
So, whosever panties those were,
be it your ex, or a groupie, or an actress
- trying to get a part, - Or in my case, all the above,
What?
Samantha did come by and she tried to seduce me,
It's probably just to get a role in my movie,
Of course,
Um, I didn't wanna be away from the world,
I didn't wanna be all alone,
But you're not all alone,
You have your fans, your friends, your family,
And you even have me,
- I do, - Yeah,
Thank you,
Are you ready to get to this meeting?
- No, - What else is there?
I saw my father,,,
saw my father die right in front of me,
Just some crazy person, just,,,
ended his life,
I can't get past that,
I see it over and over and over again
every time I try to go outside,
Admitting that was big,
But you know what's more powerful than fear?
Love,
So, I want you to close your eyes,
and picture all the things and people you love,
and let that set you free,
What do you see?
I see Cedric and I back on set making movies again,
Sounds awesome,
I see you and me running hand in hand on the beach,
I see us at our wedding,
Big house, bunch of little rug rats running around,
- Okay, that's a bit,,, - Yeah, you right, I'm sorry,
that's too soon,
Thank you,
I think I'm ready to get out there
and make things happen,
And I'll be right here by your side,
Matt, what's going on?
- I can't do this, - Are you serious?
No, no, no, I,,, I can do this,
I just gotta do something else first,
Today is day 500,
So, it's 500 days since I've been outside,
That's a long-ass time,
Um,
I'm surprised I didn't lose my mind,
But it was with your support
and the help of some really amazing people and,,,
,,,and a very special woman
that I'm finally ready to go out there
and face my fears, and get back to doing what I love,
Now, I suffer from agoraphobia,
And you may be suffering from something, too,
but just,,, just know that whatever that something is,
you can overcome it,
You know, it took me some,,, some much needed time,
a lot of therapy, and just me getting my shit right,
but,,,
but I'm better now,
I'm ready to go out there and just live
a happy, fulfilling life,
And with that said, hello, world,
I'm back,
and I love you guys, too,
I am so proud of you,
I couldn't have done this without you,
- Think I'm ready now, - Let's do it,
Let's go,
Okay,
So, Matt, Dining Indoors is based on
your real-life experience of suffering
- and overcoming agoraphobia? - Yeah, that's correct,
And you know what, I went to the studio about this idea,
I just,,, I'd let 'em know how much I wanted
to really help people overcome their traumas,
So, uh, thankfully they believed in my visions,
Yeah,
And cut us a big-ass check,
I just got a Gucci belt,
Baby, hey,
Look at you, I'm so proud of you,
- Thank you, Ma, - And I want you to meet Roy,
Hey, man, what's good, man?
We're not there,,, we're not there yet?
- Nah, man, no, - Okay,
- You did your thing, brother, - You got next, bro,
Oh, oh, I got next now, I'm on tour right now,
- What? - Yeah, yeah, getting my life,,,
After you got your life together, why not get mine?
- Hey, there you,,, - You know, so I'm on tour,
- Right, - Got my lady back,
- I gotta go, - Her son moved out,
- That's good, I'm gonna,,, - So, I gotta deal with him,
- No, I gotta go and, uh,,, - Oh, okay, okay, well,
- I'll call you,,, - Hey,
Hey, good job today,
Cool, awesome, thank you,
I think I smell a hit, man,
- Great job, you made it happen, - Thank you, thank you,
Thank you,
- You look lovely, - Awesome job,
Thank you,
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