Shall we add some blush?
A NETFLIX ORIGINAL FILM
You're perfect!
What more can we do with you?
I'M NOT AN EASY MAN
We have the dress but no princess,
- Oh no! - What do we do?
Give it to someone else,
Who wants to wear
Snow White's costume?
Me!
I was five,
I was crazy about a girl who'd never looked at me,
You saved us!
Finally I felt her eyes on me,
Go on,
It was amazing,
Her name was Aurora,
I thought I'd die,
But you didn't,
What does it mean?
Is love dangerous?
No, I'm not afraid of women,
That's not a problem, Women like me,
So why are you here?
I told you,
I spend too long brushing my teeth,
At first, it took me three minutes like dentists recommend,
Now it takes me half an hour,
If I don't do it, I feel anxious,
Introducing,,,
the "boner-o-meter"!
A smartphone app that records how often you have sex
and lets you compare from year to year,
We have a fun visual aid,
Our guy's penis gets longer,
the more sex he has, Like Pinocchio's nose,
One, two, three,,, 25 times,
Now look here,
There's a slight drop but it's up again in 2016!
What about women?
Good question, Sophie?
Right,
Women are well-represented,
We click on a tab
to pull up their profile then hit select,
Blonde, Asian,
brunette,,,
Is this a joke?
Kind of,
It's called humor,
I could explain it better over dinner tonight,
It's great!
I love it,
It's fun, modern, we can make a gay version,
Jackpot!
- A hit! - Thanks, boss,
- Care for a drink? - That's a bit forward,
No, Christophe Lamy is signing his new book,
The fat guy over there?
Yes,
Champagne? Orange juice?
You're tall,
Is it a problem?
Champagne,
What do you call champagne and orange juice?
A mimosa,
Excuse me,
Your mouth looks pretty when you say it,
Say it again,
Everything ok?
Fine, I saw you hitting on him,
Spare me!
Did he bother you? It's not his style,
You know him?
Twenty years now,
He's sweet,
- Mimosa, - Again,
Navy suits you, Sybil,
Makes you look serious,
I came straight from work,
What do you do? I always forget,
- I'm a lawyer, - Excuse me,
Come here,
Don't turn round,
Tall brunette, hot lips,
Dream on, she's gotta be gay,
Who is she?
Alexandra, my assistant, A nightmare,
Damien!
Princess!
How are you?
Where were you?
Susan's ballet audition, We had to go,
What about my book launch?
The world keeps turning,
What now? I'm hungry, Can we come over?
Good idea!
Not on a school night, I got lots to do,
Lolo, be a sport,
He's a scream,
You have no clue,
You only have yourself to think of,
It's fun to come over all the time,
but it means after work I have to shop, cook and do the dishes,
We clear the table,
How kind of you,
But it'd be nice to swap roles on my birthday,
Great idea!
When is it?
Ask Christophe,
Come on, kids, Sybil?
- Is it today? - I'm in deep shit,
Come on, for chrissakes,
Get on it!
Let's find a flower shop,
She's a pain,
You can go, Alexandra,
See you tomorrow, Congrats again!
And when will I see you?
In another life,
Deny it, Does she know you cheated?
- No, - Deny it! She has no proof,
- Hi Erica, - Hey Damien,
Time for a quick drink?
Don't tempt me,
naughty girl!
Damien?
Buddy?
FATHER LACHAISE CEMETERY
The ambulance is coming,
Can you see me?
I'm here,
MOTHER LACHAISE CEMETERY
Step aside, young man,
Can you hear me?
Yes,
Open your eyes wide,
You're pretty,
What happened?
Two women were following us,
We started to run and he hit the post,
I was so scared,
- How old are you? - Mind your manners!
Are you hurt? Have you been drinking?
Do mimosas count?
Stop it!
Are you on any medication?
The pill, right?
Cut the crap, Christophe! Forgive him,
I'm fine,
I'm going to go home,
How far is it?
A few blocks, How about you?
Lean on me,
I'll be fine, thanks,
Thanks, ladies,
Goodbye, gentlemen,
- Are you alright? - I'm fine,
You really scared me,
Enjoying your stroll?
Are you going out without us?
I ordered pizza, the kids are waiting for you,
See you later,
Sybil's cute, isn't she?
She's not real brawny but she's got something,
A good catch,
I'm not talking marriage!
These jeans are too tight,
Have I put on weight? Maybe they shrunk,
You wearing a push-up?
If your balls sag get 'em done,
You're nuts!
Yeah, it shows when they're fake,
I'm cold,
How much did we drink?
Take my scarf,
Call if you need me,
Lift the seat, Susan!
Dad, can you teach Susan not to pee on the seat?
Did you do your homework?
Come here, Rocco, Who's Daddy's boy?
Quit teasing me!
Your Wonderpants are driving me crazy,
After several accounts by men were published
by our fellow newswomen,
many politicians have called for the Paris deputess to step down,
People are speaking out and we expect to hear more,
The question is, why now?
What the hell?
What are these clothes?
Who put these here?
That crazy Danish bitch?
Where are my jeans?
Fuck,
Grey sweatpants,
And a white T-shirt,
Morning,
Morning!
Nice smile,
Hotty,
Hey! Where's Gladys?
Hi Damien, In her office,
Her office?
Your top's a little see-through,
- Does it turn you on? - I'm not the problem,
- Stop, - Hi,
Hey,
Good morning!
I see,
Lots of gals in the office today,
- Where are the men? - We do our best,
We need to talk,
Nice T-shirt, Sexy,
- I'm all yours, - After you,
I'll be blunt, I didn't pick your project,
Have a seat,
You did a great job,
It's clever, maybe too much so,
Is that what Marco said?
Marco?
I'm sorry, how rude, Coffee?
Marco, two coffees please,
Come on, Sophie, that's enough,
Be realistic, Damien,
The client prefers a more feminine humor,
cruder but to the point,
Yours is too delicate,
It makes sense for a woman to get the gig,
Super plus, I'm a heavy bleeder,
You know I like you a lot,
I like you too, more than you think,
It wouldn't take much to climb a rung or two,
Fabienne's idea is great because it's fun, it's modern,
we can make a lesbian version, It's a hit!
- You ok, Marco? - Fine, and you?
Lunch later? I brought my quinoa salad,
Can I see what you chose?
Here,
"Vulv-o-meter"?
No, you can't do this!
- It's disgusting! - See you later,
I,,,
Whatever you're playing at,
you're gonna regret it,
Sweetie, here's some advice,
Take a few days off,
You're overworked, take some time for yourself,
Go out, see pals, have a spa day,
or else stay home with your cat, just get it together,
Will you shut up?
It's my project,
You hear me? Stop messing with me,
Get out and don't come back,
Nutcase,
Dickhead,
A beer, please,
Good morning, sir,
Ma'am? We'd like to order,
May we order, please?
I don't get veiled men,
Why? What have we done?
We're here for coffee, what's wrong?
I say what I like,
This is my place, I do what I want,
It's always the same,
Whether it's headscarves or short pants,
men always get blamed,
Women are never at fault!
Isn't that true?
Dad? Mom?
Hello bunny! You look down,
You got a hangdog look,
Here we are,
That's twenty,
Here's ten and two makes twenty,
Thank you, Mr, Fernandez,
How's your dad?
He's like you, never slacks off, Still doing his nails,
Details count!
- See you next time, - Goodbye Mr, Fernandez,
Are you having trouble at work, kitten?
If only you had someone to lean on,
Don't start again!
I'd like to have grandkids,
What did I say?
You read the neurologist's report,
he says the scan was clear,
I don't need to see your X-rays,
Something's wrong,
Two guys thrown out of a bar because of their headscarves!
The world is insane!
Or I've fallen into a black hole,
A parallel universe,
- You think so? - Am I nuts?
You seem entirely lucid,
If I ask who our president is,
you can tell me her name,
But if you couldn't, I'd refer you to a psychiatrist
or have you committed, But that doesn't seem necessary,
Watch out!
MOTHER LACHAISE CEMETERY
Hi Sybil,
I'm fine and you?
Want to grab a drink tonight?
Tonight?
It's not what I thought,
The gals at work said it was perfect but they pulled a prank on me,
It's ok, no worries!
I love,,,
Oh boy,
I didn't notice,,,
If you're uncomfortable we can leave,
It's ok,
You're rocking the lumberjane look,
Yep, I'm into plaid,
Wait, don't be scared,
There,
What'll you have? Champagne?
Nah, gives me heartburn,
What?
White gives me heartburn, I'll have a beer,
So much for the beer gut!
Sorry,
You've got a lovely smile,
- Really? - No one's told you before?
No, but thanks,
Are you on something?
Maybe,
High on shrooms?
Sorry,
I'm sorry,
He left me because I didn't want kids
and his biological clock was ticking,
You got kids?
No,
Not too painful?
It's a choice or else I would,
Guys like you are brave,
- Where's the light? - There,
Sorry, I can't,
Why?
You look like a monkey!
So what?
I can't touch you,
Sibyl, come on,
Test your boundaries,
It's just dirty,
Close your eyes,
Listen,
I'm a monkey!
It's a forward pass! Throw her the ball!
Can I have some cash? I need deodorant pads,
Dad deals with boys' stuff,
It's just nature,
Use mine, I'll buy more,
Bye, Damien,
- I'm off to ballet, - Bye!
Maybe your hormones are off,
You're nervous, losing hair,
you need to do something,
It takes work to look good,
What happened yesterday was a wake-up call,
We're older now,
We used to be sexy
in jeans and a T-shirt,
but now it's not enough,
What'd you decide about your job?
Where's the damn referee?
That's a foul! Give her a red card!
Your cupcakes are killer, hon,
Please eat them, otherwise I will,
Fired for gross misconduct,
they'll eat you alive,
Lolo and I talked,
Dear, tell him his options,
You can sue them, But it'll take forever,
You should enlist the support of a masculist group
that fights discrimination against men at work,
Those English bitches are offside!
Look at that!
Watch this,
On her own!
Fantastic!
I'm weeping for joy,
Come on, sweetie,,, Try!
Beautiful!
Lolo! You're peeing!
My water broke, Where's the car keys?
- Shouldn't I drive? - I'm not made of glass,
Take a deep breath and push,
Now stop,
Let the shoulders through,,,
I'm sorry, it happened early
or I'd have planned ahead,
It's his boss,
What's up?
His paternity leave is starting,
- She's in a jam, - Who?
Alexandra,
Alexandra Lamour, who else?
Right!
Of course,
I'll brief whoever you choose,
I dunno, we'll find someone,
Not a bad idea,
Happy to help out,
I may have a solution,
It's open!
Come in,
Take your shoes off first,
Sure, Sorry,
Navy suits you, makes you look serious,
Come here, Fabien, Don't be shy,
Damien,
You're tall,
Is it a problem?
No, it's fine,
What's that?
Ziggy, She's my chameleon,
Watch,
she's gonna devour her guest,
What's wrong?
Are my abs distracting you?
Go ahead, Hard as iron,
Harder,
- I'll hurt you, - Doubt it,
Ok,
I'm in a rush this morning,
A couple of things,
Coffee? No, you make it while I get ready,
I like it strong,
I like you strong,
That's Mollino's car!
How do you know?
The shape, It's a knockout,
I drove it,
- The Nardi Bisiluro? - The one,
- Giannini engine, - 735 cc,
- 62 hp, - 7000 rpm,
- 990 pounds, - 24 hours of Le Mans,,,
1955,
Alright, Your desk is here,
That one's mine, hands off,
I'll give you a to-do list,
It's boring but it'll save my life,
I love Post-Its,
You'll meet Mr, Martel, my housekeeper,
I do my writing elsewhere,
I won't see you today?
Be a good boy,
Can I ask what you're writing?
No,
You can't,
Of Mice and Women, Jane Steinbeck Mister Bovary, Georgia Flaubert
Have you read her books?
Nope,
You should,
Not because they're bestsellers, I'm not like that,
Her stories carry me away,
You can tell a woman wrote them, So powerful,
Because a woman wrote them?
Why'd I say that? It's dumb,
It is,
I mean they're not sentimental,
There's lots of suspense,,, I love them!
Hello, I'd like to book a table for Ms, Lamour
tomorrow evening, for two,
If it's nicer by the patio, sure,
Who's she dining with?
I don't keep a record, I couldn't keep up!
Want a hand?
No thanks, I'm almost there,
Give me that, You'll hurt that pretty back,
- Did you check me out? - I did,
I'm only trying to help,
Come on!
No, it's ok, Actually, I've had enough,
I did everything on the list,
There's your water, here are your keys,,,
- What do you mean? - Let's be honest,
I'm not cut out for the job,
What's wrong? You're edgy,
Are you burned out?
You really want to know what's wrong?
I don't belong here,
I woke up one morning in a crazy world
where women tell me what to do,
Spare me the masculist babble!
You don't get it! How can I explain?
Imagine a world where women dress up to please me,
Sometimes I even whistle at them if they're sexy,
How awful!
You mean wonderful!
A world where I'm no one's secretary,
I design apps for a mobile marketing agency,
I'm an engineer,
My boss thinks I'm a genius,
I apologize,
I completely forgot to ask for your résumé,
But it's your fault, you distracted me,
With a fat-ass like Christophe,
I kept a cool head,
You're a lost cause,
Don't get in a huff, I'll take you for a spin,
This baby's not so bad,
I don't give a shit about your car!
Do you think I'm impressed?
Besides, alloy wheels are for hicks!
I need you to punch my train ticket
Do you feel it?
What?
Take this!
Are you ok?
We're not done,
That's going too far,
What the hell?
- What? - What was that?
Rocco, my cat,
He doesn't like people in my bed,
Can you leave, please?
Ouch, that hurts!
You were wild today,
Back among the living?
That's too much,
You're worth it,
- Did you get your advance? - Soon,
Big shot,
How can you spend what you don't have?
I borrow, here and there,
Watch out, one day you'll get your face smashed in,
Shall I order take-out?
No,
A client's waiting,
Don't forget this,
It's not mine,
I don't leave my toothbrush here,
Annabelle fucked all of Paris without any pleasure,
Annabelle fucked all of Paris,
I'M NOT AN EASY MAN
Not sure it's my thing,
Me neither,
When Lolo talked about Tits for Tat, I thought it was a sex shop,
TITS FOR TAT!
Good morning! I'm Christophe,
There's as much sexism in young start-ups as anywhere else,
It's more ambiguous and subtle
but sadly, I've heard it all before,
We'll do what we can for you,
But Tits for Tat is really an action group,
We wear our boobs at female-dominated events,
Board meetings, the Medical Association,
festivals, And we act like them,
The more the merrier,
It's an exchange, Like sex,
I see,
Give and take,
There's three of us, Two plus one,
She's the future too,
That's sweet,
Yep,
My shoulders?
Do you like them?
Yes,
They aren't round enough,
I'm not sure where the bowl goes!
- I'll leave it out! - Thanks, Dad,
It was nice to have us over,
You must have better things to do,
Maybe I'm a little psychic,
See who it is, don't mind us,
Maybe a girl asking you out,
You need to get out there to meet your soulmate,
Aren't you seeing anyone?
And my nipples? Do you like them?
You never introduce us to anyone,
I don't get it,
You're adorable, you look young,
you don't plan to just live with your cat,
There must be one woman,,,
What don't you get?
There's not one woman, there are 3,000!
I use more condoms than anyone in Paris,
in case you're worried, You've never met anyone
because I can't even remember their names!
"11 p,m, at the Normandy hotel bar,"
I don't even know who she is!
I churn 'em out like sausages!
What's the big fucking deal about being a single man?
It takes time to make good sausages,
Bar, please?
In the back,
Lumberjane's back,
- I saw him, - Not bad, but,,,
He made it!
Yesterday wasn't enough?
Wasn't I clear?
You made yourself very clear,
and I don't intend to offer you work again,
Champagne?
Brut or rosé?
Gentlemen prefer rosé,
Brut,
Same,
What do you call champagne and orange juice?
A mimosa,
I thought about your alternate world,
It got me thinking,
Did it?
It's not so bad for women in your world,
They get gifts,
doors are held open,
You're kidding,
No, why?
Of course, you wouldn't know,
You were so manly before, now you're like a girl,
I forgot my garter belt,
Do you ever stop? It must be exhausting,
Do you ever forget you're a woman?
- I'm not obsessed with it, - Liar,
When you wake up, piss, shower, do your boxing,
when you sign books for your fans,
when you ogle a guy in the street,
his legs, his neck, his ass,
when you bed him, make him come,
do you forget who does all that?
Feminine psychology isn't your strong point,
We're the same, Alexandra,
I make dates in hotel bars too,
Are the rooms comfy?
So then,
if I understand, in your world,
women fight to split the housework?
What's a male condom like? Small and tight?
Very easy to put on, Wanna see?
The female ones have never caught on for us,
Did they repave the road after your UFO landed?
You think I'm drunk? I am,
But if you tease me, I'll shut up,
You make me feel alive, I could listen to you for hours,
Really?
What?
- Can't I kiss you? - No,
You're going to take a nice cab home,
Don't you like me?
You're delightful,
but I never take advantage of a drunk boy,
What's that? Gallantry?
Call it what you like: manners, courtesy,
You'll thank me tomorrow,
Don't you get it? No kiss, your miss,
- Come on, - Don't be a prude,
You're gorgeous and you know it,
Next time, no whisky for you,
There is no next time, Didn't you hear me?
Take it or leave it, So?
So goodnight,
Ma'am, make sure he makes it inside safely,
No, to the Champs-Elysées, any nightclub!
I don't need a broad like her,
I get all the chicks I want!
Black ones, white ones, young ones,,,
And they have jobs like,,,
Cleaning lady, childcare worker, nurse, secretary,,,
No way, I couldn't have a woman secretary,
But you could be one, Alexandra,
You would work for me!
You wouldn't exist as you are,
And if you didn't,,,
A masculist, A new conquest for you,
This time it's different,
Damien is my new novel,
You haven't written a line in over three years,
I'd like to show
that these guys aren't that different,
What do they dream of? Settling down,
They want us to love them,
hold them in our arms, reassure them,
So once I'm under his skin,
however masculist he claims to be, he'll be trapped,
And when I leave him, he'll go home crying to daddy,
My book's going to teach him a lesson,
It'll create a huge buzz,
Whatshername had to resign from government,
Masculist testosterone is raging, your timing's brash!
I'm going to need an advance,
You're forgetting you've already gotten so much,
Give me something to read and I'll fight for you,
Annie, I'm in deep shit,
That'll change,
Sleep well?
I'm inviting you to a cocktail party tonight,
I want you to meet a friend,
I'll see what I can do,
Nice idea you had, Damien,
My bouquet will soon wilt,
while your big cactus will still be standing tall,
I came to see my goddaughter,
She's asleep,
Actually, my brother's going to be the godfather this time,
Really?
That's your choice,
Can I come in?
I know, I was going to tell you, I screwed up,
I can't work for her, She's hot for me,
Do you hear yourself?
- All those nights of whining, - Me?
Suddenly you're the best lay in town?
Sorry, it's pathetic,
What about Sibyl?
You know your problem? You're uptight,
From you, that's a compliment,
You're uptight and complacent in your little life,
You don't see how your wife treats you,
You accept everything,
And you, nothing, So you're jobless and live with a cat!
What's the deal with my cat?
Life is full of compromises,
What if I don't get my job back?
You can start a cupcake blog,
That's mean,
I'm telling you this because I love you,
Can't you understand that?
Things were great with Alexandra till you came along,
She's sweet with me,
Know what she calls you?
Fat Ass,
Sweet, isn't it?
Get out, I never want to see you again,
Good,
You freak me out,
What do you think?
You're right,
Yeah,
Seattle last week,
next week Marseille, It never ends,
Your husband's radiant!
Thanks! I never get compliments, Thank goodness for you,
The complaints office is shut,
Alexandra, Have you met before?
Hi there,
Alexandra Lamour, Brigitte Magre, Her husband,
My husband's one of your biggest fans,
Good evening,
- Your books are my escape, - Thanks,
She's writing a controversial new book,
Fun! What's it about?
She's tackling the myth of female domination,
Wouldn't you say?
Excuse me,
That's him,
But he's over 26,
I'm not courting him, Damien is my subject,
I get it,
- How's Jean-Pierre? - Fine, as usual,
- Evening, - Good evening, Damien,
Annie Meyer, the publisher, May I kiss you?
I never miss a chance to kiss a pretty man,
I'd like a drink, Would you?
I'll get it,
I've heard the male cause is your hobbyhorse,
When's the revolution? Will we lose our heads?
I'm not at war,
What do you want, then?
Besides wearing a suit,
Boxer shorts for men,
Ever worn a G-string?
That's true injustice,
But you can't realize if you haven't been there,
What bothers you?
Getting compliments, having drinks brought to you?
It doesn't make sense,
Long live masculinity!
I'm homesick, Alexandra,
I want to see skirts,
Legs, thighs, stiletto heels,
fishnet stockings, little lace panties,
On the other hand, purses are quite convenient,
Allow me,
If you knew how lovely
woman's cleavage looks in a push-up bra,
How come you like that?
A woman walking,
her stockings swishing softly
against her raincoat at each step,
A strap snapping,
A zipper unzipping,
I can manage that,
Come on,
I said come on,
RV like "rendezvous"?
No, like "reverse",
Good evening,
This is heaven!
You're gay!
What?
You're gay, right?
Not at all!
Yes you are, it's obvious, Like lots of people here,
Relax!
Physical superiority,
you can't deny it, it's nature,
In my world, prehistoric men starved women,
who only got scraps from the hunt,
That's what made them frail,
For thousands of years,
In my world, women were stronger
so nature had them bear the children
and go off hunting year-round
while the men looked after the kids,
In my world, men do the fighting,
they stand up to each other and go to war,
In my world, women have the upper hand, Where do you think you are?
In my bed,
Wait,
Aren't you coming?
You've got a handsome nose,
Kiss me,
What are you doing?
I have to go,
I have a poker game,
Don't lie to me,
Go back to sleep,
I like you,
I like you too,
But I'm not a good person,
Me neither,
I might disappear and never call you,
Try it,
SOW
Farther,
Look up high,
Open, now cross your arms,
More,
That's it,
En dehors,
And one, two, three,
Piqué,
Good,
Right, That's nice,
Chocolate mousse, please,
It'll make me fat,
Cut it out!
I watch my figure,
How's your dad? Did he tell you we had a fight?
Yeah,
I think you should call him,
Thanks for coming today,
What's wrong?
There's this girl at school,,,
- I'm crazy about her, - That's great!
Her name's Sarah,
She's beautiful,
The thing is,
I was in the school bathroom the other day,
she came in and asked me to lick her,
I see,
Right,
And I did,
What about you, did she,,,?
No, she didn't do anything,
She felt me a little,
That was nice of you!
Sam, you did do it because you wanted to?
Not much choice,
There's always a choice,
A girl can't make you lick her, It's impossible,
- I don't know what to do, - Forget about her!
There's no shortage of easy girls!
So soon? I thought you'd never be back,
Pretend I'm not here,
Are you having some trouble?
Bad neighborhood,
Since you're here I may as well call the painter,
I have to go out, could you wait for her?
Sure,
If you get bored you could do some more work,
I can't cope without you,
For free? In your dreams,
- How much? - Did you win all that?
I owe this, I could give you,,,
No,
Would you mind ironing some shirts?
Mr, Martel's watching his nieces this week,
Don't you know how to iron?
I have an idea,
Let's go out later, I'll take you shopping,
Sound good? I can spoil you, I owe you that,
My lucky charm,
Turn the shirt over, dampen the collar if it's stiff
and iron on the outside,
Do up the top two buttons,,,
Your language sounds nice,
Thank you,
What's a "sow"?
Actually, it's a female pig,
The boar's mate,
But it's mainly an insult,
It means disgusting,
sex maniac, bitch,
Bitch?
Her, a bitch?
I know that word,
Fatherfucker, ho, cow,,,
That's it, exactly,
You'll think of me every second,
I can't accept that,
Why not? Don't you like it?
It's nice,
A little thin,
It's masculine, Big watches look bad on men,
I prefer a bigger one,
You really are different,
Let's go,
Lovers in Paris are like tourists,
aren't they?
- Who in Paris? - What?
What did I say?
People like us in Paris,,,
Let's go,
Stop, you keep running away,
- No, I don't, - Yes,
I'm here,
Christophe!
I'm sorry, I didn't mean it,
Please say something, Quit being all huffy,
Forgive me,
Say, "Would you please forgive me,"
You're such a pain!
Usually I do whatever I can to get rid of women
but with her,
I'm afraid she'll disappear,
You're in love,
No!
It'll end bad anyway,
How so?
You'll either split up or one of you will die,
Enjoy it while you can,
Are you alright?
Lolo's cheating on me,
Really?
I found a hotel receipt in her pocket,
Did you ask her?
She denied it,
Then maybe it's nothing,
This fat cuckold isn't done yet,
I'm gonna send the little asshole packing,
Do you have to work today?
Where do you go to write?
Depends,
Can I read it one day?
What are your plans?
I have a job interview in a bar,
That's dumb,
It's just temporary,
I'd pay you twice as much,
I don't want to depend on you or be at your command,
What's this outdated masculist drivel?
Not masculist, I want to be your equal,
- That's stupid! - Why?
- It's absurd, - Maybe it is masculism,
- Fine, I'm a masculist! - Ridiculous,
Why are you upset?
I want to give us a chance,
I'm not sure I can give you what you want,
Me neither, for what it's worth,
We're on the same wavelength,
That's rare,
Hello,
Is Alexandra in?
No, was she expecting you?
Who are you?
Damien, Alexandra's friend,
Daffodil, I left a ring in the bedroom,
A friend, huh? I'll give you friends!
Daffodil's here,,,
- You ok? - Yeah!
Call the cops
What are you doing?
That's irrational,
Irrational?
You know who she is? A narcissistic pervert!
She collects men like objects, Is that rational?
Each conquest is a marble!
You saw the witch jars on her shelf,
She compares her performance from year to year,
Look at your face, Who's the fool now?
We're in the same boat, pal,
She made me feel intelligent,
Important, since she chose me,
How could I be so stupid?
Look at me now,
I'm nothing anymore,
Look what she's done to me,
Stay away from me! Who knows what I'll do!
TINY TITS
Who is he?
Nobody, Nothing,
You shouldn't let people in,
I owe money all over, tons of women are after me,
One was waiting downstairs the other night,
I kicked her ass,
- What's this about? - What?
The jars on the shelf,
- You snooped? - Is each marble a lay?
- That guy's sick, - Answer me!
- Don't make a scene, - Am I in there?
Am I a peewee or a shooter?
You think you can flick me away anytime you like?
I don't get your reaction,
But you're so smart,
Did you think I was a virgin?
That you were my first?
You're no better, I hear,
What does that mean?
You've no right to be offended,
I get it,
I have to behave, but you,,,
Why change?
I was wrong when I said we were the same,
Have fun,
Wait,
I don't want to play anymore,
I feel grown-up with you,
That line won't work,
I've used it too many times,
That's a big sandwich!
Want it?
It's just ham, nothing to get all wet about,
Here, you can have it!
What? Come back,
You were talking, Come back!
Thank you,
I've become a victim,
What were you before?
An oppressor,
Maybe there's another way?
A world where men and women help each other,
We work well together, right?
How are your teeth?
Better,
Left, right,
Left hook, Uppercut,
Move back,
If you're too close, no defense,
Step back to attack,
I need to hit something,
Gently!
Take it out on the bag,
You bet,
Isn't the Immaculate Conception absolute power?
We've got the Virgin Mary too but Jesus is the hero,
I like that beauty spot,
I like you,
I like you too, but I'm not a good person,
I can't wait to read the rest!
It's harsh, she's going to destroy him,
- Really? - He hasn't got a clue,
Such a delight!
I'm not real sure,
I don't know if it's that relevant, intellectually speaking,
It's amazing! As cruel as can be,
I wonder if I'm not getting off track,
There's more to life than men,
Who cares about masculists anyway?
- Here you go, - Thanks,
I could write about a Taliban headwoman,
or a new mafia godmother in Mexico or Ecuador,
Or maybe a pedophile priestess instead,
Anything but a cheap romance!
Are you falling into your own trap?
Good intentions don't make great books,
Think about your career, You've always been a winner,
There'll be a lot of media hype, don't ruin it for a guy,
An author must think with her brain,
There's a check waiting for you,
You can pick it up or not, It's your choice,
Right?
- This game sucks, - Fifty,
- What would you like? - Your ass, on my lap,
Classy!
Steph!
Excuse her,
Bourbon, like the ladies,
Some ice too, please, Anis,
Who is Anis exactly?
Anus!
Anis!
You're gross!
He's been working here a couple weeks,
Not only is he lovely,
he's got brains too,
Shit!
I popped his poker cherry,
I fold,
All in,
250,
Fold,
I'll see you,
Pair of kings,
Pair of queens,
Lucky at cards,,,
It's me,
Yes,
I know, I'm late,
I'm not coming,
What?
I wanted to tell you it's over,
With you, Annie,
I'm through with your book, your media hype,
What are you saying? Are you drunk?
You're nuts!
Fuck you,
Who do you think you are?
So you love all of me?
Yes,
I love all of you,
tenderly,
tragically,
Me too,
It's Lolo,
How are you?
Fine, and you?
Things are complicated,
Christophe kicked me out,
He did? What's going on?
Can I come in?
Got a beer?
Always do,
- Have one with me? - Sure,
Classy kimono,
You screwed up, Lolo,
I swear I didn't,
- Christophe made it all up, - Not with me,
Why would I lie to you?
I did slip up,
There,
I was pregnant, hormones raging,
I lost control,
You gotta call him, talk to him,
Please,
It's tough,
Why didn't it work out, you and me?
No reason, It was cool,
We were good in bed, weren't we?
Yeah, it was cool,
But I was scared,
Of what?
You, I was intimidated by you,
- You knew what you wanted, - Did I?
Men are so much more mature,
We women could go for years making booty calls,
But you're not scared,
Not afraid to say you're the love of my life,
I've never said that,
Not you,
When we met, Christophe slid a card under my door,
That Magritte painting, This is not a pipe,
On the back he'd written "This is not a love letter,"
How can you resist that?
I booked a room, Mr, and Mrs, Lamour,
They're off!
There's a noise,
I'll pull over,
Want me to do it?
Do you buy all that?
Yes,
I believe in God,
She's good to me,
You believe in sin and Hell?
- No, - Go to confession?
That I do,
Really? What do you have to say?
Will you marry me?
You don't have to answer right away, Take your time,
I'm gonna stretch my legs,
Warm, isn't it?
Why'd I buy this jacket?
Yes,
What?
Christophe, your wife is solid, Good head on her shoulders,
You're bound to hit some snags after a few years,
True, they stray sometimes,
It's not a big deal,
Dad,
When I realized I'd get a few quiet nights
I kept my mouth shut,
Stop it! That's grim,
Boy talk does a body good,
Martine's older and doesn't need it so much,
But before, she'd get these sudden urges,
What would happen? She'd close the shop
and we'd do it there,
She'd have me right up on the chopping block,
I had no say in it,
Sounds crazy but that's how it was,
I didn't dare say no,
You did your best, Alain,
Sure,
Then again,
women are little girls without us,
Here, this is yours,
You can keep it,
Dad,
I met someone,
Where's your engagement ring?
The wedding ring itself is a huge step,
He's come a long way,
Congratulations,
Or condolences?
Before the march, we'll go by the Collège de France,
What for?
They're giving an award,
The clitocrats are so smug,
Only three men honored in 44 years,
Hussies!
Tarnishing our image!
What about solidarity?
Licker! Go back home!
Pisses me off,
You're badass!
Sluts!
Cool it!
Let's stay focused,
Hello dear colleagues!
I don't believe this, Get lost!
Kitchen's that way, boys!
You know we love you,
I have a husband and four sons,
I only have male dogs,
I'm not your enemy,
- Hello, - I know you!
Hi, colleague,
Poor kid, Nothing better to do?
Not much going on?
Yes! He's getting married,
Does the lucky woman know you're a militant?
Ask her, It's Alexandra,
Some women are more open-minded than others,
So much so she's already married to a lovely man,
Didn't you know?
Oops, I goofed,
Are you ok?
Wait! Stop!
Alexandra, open up!
Open up!
Hello,
Hello Mr, Martel, I forgot my key,
I can't give it to you,
You see me every day with her!
I mind my own business,
I ran out for soap and left the bath running,
Don't cry,
Bring it back, ok?
Us guys gotta stick together,
MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE
Hi!
You've grown!
I'll get my jacket,
The door, Alice!
The dog'll get out,
Sudden urge to see your kid?
Hello Alexandre,
Since I'm here, I'll tell you I filed for divorce,
This time you won't refuse,
I don't want to talk to you,
Come on,
Good evening,
Good afternoon,
I gave your key to that tall bulky guy, Hope that's ok,
Damien?
That's fine, You did the right thing,
Is dinner for three ok?
That's nice,
I'll order pizza, Wait here for me,
What?
No way!
I'm going home,
It's always the same crap with you,
You'll never change,
I'M NOT AN EASY MAN
Leave him alone, girls!
We just wanna talk,
I don't want any trouble,
He's sad, We need to cheer him up,
Maybe I'm looking for trouble,
I remember your pineapple panties,
Trouble's calling my name,
Maybe that's him,
Hi, Erica,
Shit,
I couldn't reach him,
Who is it?
What's going on?
I'm on my way,
Damien's drunk,
some rough gals are hassling him, I'm off,
Don't worry, she handles lushes all the time,
Then why'd she call me?
I'll come with you, darling, Sibyl?
I don't want to leave Stan all by himself,
Forget it,
Want my mace?
Lolo's got this!
- Keep cool, - Right,
Look who's here, Thanks for everything,
We're getting Damien, He's in trouble,
What sort of trouble?
I dunno,
I'll beat 'em up,
You want it, don't ya?
You ain't so young,
What are you doing?
No, wait! Stop,
You're hurting me, Stop!
Where is he?
In the bathroom, He looked woozy,
You think it's funny?
Stop!
Lolo!
Stop, darling!
Hands off her, bitch!
I'll kill you!
Call the cops!
What happened?
Come here,
Stay away from me,
- What's wrong? - Leave me,
- Are you crazy? - Leave me alone!
I'm crazy like all the guys you toy with,
I know everything, you bitch,
Come on, I can explain,
- Come on, - Hands off!
Listen to me,
Yes, I lied to you,
I recorded our conversations day and night,
- I did that, - What?
I wrote that trashy book about us,
But it's over,
You did what?
I was lost, I had writer's block
then you came along and things started again,
but I got all mixed up,
What did you do?
What have you done?
What did you write about me?
Nothing!
What have you done?
I love you, Damien! Stop it!
- I even filed for divorce, - Shut up!
PARAMEDICS
Can you hear me?
Are you hurt somewhere?
You're in an ambulance,
Open your eyes,
What's going on?
You're with us,
Don't try to get up,
Let me out,
Please, be sensible,
- Lie down, - Let's strap her in,
Open the door right now!
Open the door!
Another hysterical woman,
Hello, Miss,
A beer, please,
Stand together, fight the fight!
Women of the world unite!
RESIST
WOMEN IN THE STREETS THE PATRIARCHY IS PISSING ITSELF
SEXISTS, WE'RE WATCHING YOU
HANDS OFF MY PUSSY
MEN AND WOMEN MAKING CHANGE TOGETHER
Alexandra!