This is the Raipur center of the national radio service,
This song has been requested by,,,
Bade Baba, Chote Baba, Aarti and Tuntu from Sarangarh,
Tell me, oh, stranger Are you a saint or a magician?
I am none of those I am a merchant of dreams
Oh, merchant Let's make a deal
Trade your heart with mine
Who's that?
Our family has been guarding the DFO for two generations
but this fool is giving it up!
And all this for paan and tobacco!
Yuck!
Greasy quick lime and tobacco,,,
Yuck! Yuck!
And what did we get for two generations of our service?
People in the town don't even know our names,
What?
What do you mean?
All the rangers, even senior officers, treat me with respect,
That's because you guard the DFO,
Do you have your own identity?
Please let me build mine,
Congratulations, Billu! Your dream has come true,
Thank you, Mr, Dinesh,
It's all because of you,
If Rahmatullah's tea stall can make 500 rupees a day at this spot
a paan shop is just going to kill it!
-Okay? -Yes, okay,
CHAMAN BAHAAR PAAN SHOP
With stars wrapped around your body
My beloved Where are you going?
Hey!
Mr, Retro Music!
Who are you, daddy?
I think he has lost his mind,
He looks like a drug peddler,
Billu, that's my name,
That's an interesting name,
But Rahmatullah got his advance from,,,
Rahmatullah was paid by Dinesh Lal from Bazaarpada,
Yeah, he's transferred it to me,
I've picked up his loan,
You've picked it up?
Now put it down,
What's so funny?
Daddy, just like poor old Rahmatullah, this shop's run out of time,
This road is now a widow, no lovers, no husbands!
Widow?
Numb nuts! The town has changed,
Lormi is no longer a part of Bilaspur,
It's now a part of the Mungeli district,
What?
The crazy traffic,,,
and customers on this road were people going to the court in Bilaspur,
Now that this road is a part of the Mungeli,
-this road is useless, -Absolutely useless!
And now?
Now grab your shield and become Captain America!
Rush to the Bazaarpada whack that Dinesh Lal with your shoe,
That advice deserves four mint candies,
LORMI MUNICIPAL CORPORATION WELCOMES YOU
How would I know that they're going to change the district limits?
I understand,
Just help me out, so that I can settle Mr, Chopra's bill and shut my shop,
I don't mind helping you, Billu,
But I've just taken a loan and I need to pay it back,
And my brother is absolutely useless!
He's lost a fortune in gambling,
I just got him a new paan shop,
Where's this shop?
On Mungeli road,
You mean the new road with all the traffic?
You knew about the change, that's the reason you conned me!
Billu, come let's have dinner!
Hey, Billu!
Billu, listen to me!
Here comes the famous paan vendor of Lormi!
How many paans did you sell today?
Does the whole town recognize you already?
-Hello, Mr, Jitendra! -Hello,
That's my beloved son,
He quit his job because he was scared of a bear!
-What? -You heard it!
He has ruined our family name,
Back in the day, we used to walk the tiger reserves barefoot,
Sir, jungle cats don't scare me,
But these bears are perverts!
I've heard so many weird stories,,,
of people losing their virginity to these bears!
-What nonsense! This is rubbish! -It's a fucking excuse!
He wants the whole town to know his name,
Bloody slicker,
Listen to me,,,
people who forget their roots have no future!
Please help me,
They've transferred me to Naringi!
-I've longed for love from my children, -I'll help you,
-I've suffered a lot, -I'm Ramayan Yadav,,,
guard to the Head DFO office!
My word is final!
Uncle, you're drunk again,
I'm really stressed,
This paan shop--
-Do you chew tobacco? -No,
That's great,
Have a drink,
Take this,
Put this up in the shop,
Goddess Laxmi will bless you,
Come help me, once you're done up there,
Where did you keep it?
Sir, I'll need some more,
Get me a cigarette please,
Who's moving in, sir?
The new sub-engineer,
What's this shit?
Don't you have a Marlboro?
Business is on a downslide due to the change in maps, sir,
-Earlier-- -Give me a light,
Couldn't they get a house in the city?
Mind your own business!
BEWARE OF THE DOG
Dad, I want a chocolate,
-Finish your tea, -Later,
Hello,
Do you have milk chocolates?
No, sir, The business is on a downslide,
They've changed the map, it's--
One cigarette please,
A pack of tobacco please,
-What a chick bro! -She's hot!
-She wears half-pants! -They're called shorts,
What a chick, bro!
She rides like the wind,
What's her name?
She speaks English?
Yeah, she's from Bilaspur city, And she wears shorts!
-She's a hot piece of ass! -Mind your language, prick!
Why?
Is she your sister?
She's your sister-in-law!
-Damn you! -What are you doing?
Hey! What's this ruckus?
Hey, Iron Man, pack up and fly home,
Your mum's drunk and she's whacking your dad again,
I'm issuing a warning in public interest,
This is Billu's paan shop,
No fucking fucker, will fuck around here!
Is that clear, Mr, Magnet, son of Mr, Blacksmith?
-Yes, brother, -Leave!
My dear daddy! You've arrived!
Look at this crowd,
What a tight slap to that traitor Dinesh!
-Whack! Whack! -Boom! Bam!
-One classic paan! -Spruce it up a little,,,
Don't you have mints?
-No, just betel nut, -Oh, he's got sweet paan as well?
-Give us one, -Give us two of those,
One is just not good enough,
Every Avenger needs a Nick Fury, daddy!
Every Michael needs a Veto Corleone,
No more hide-n-seek, it's time for shock-n-awe!
You are going to need us, daddy!
This girl is going to change the life of the youth of Lormi,
-Put this on our tab, daddy, -Somu and Chotu!
Bro, I don't give credit,
Start now,
History will tell you, a paan shop can't afford to not give credit!
That's the tradition!
This girl is your lucky charm,
This girl is your luck charm!
This girl is your lucky charm,
Two plus two For you is 16
You're my rose flavored cigarette
You're the sweet paan in my store
My heart sings When I see you at your door
Use the imported one!
WELCOMES YOU
You're a fairy tale The dream of every guy
I'm the nobody You're the apple of every eye
I'm the tall glass You're the sweet red wine
I'm a lit joint You're its crazy high
The winds They blow the minty air
A saffron mist rises everywhere
I'm a tale of ache and despair
You're a salve of love and care
That's for the last month's supplies,
I need new supplies, sir,
How much?
Five packets of Bengali paan, two packets of country tobacco,,,
Two plus two For you is 36
When I see you at your door I become,,,
And a box of milk chocolates,
Two plus two For you is 16
My heart sings When I see you at your door
What's cooking, Papa?
The usual, beans,
Oh, come on, Mr, Watchman!
Veggies are for the cattle,
Here!
It's fresh,
Chicken?
Great,
I've got something else,
Scotch?
You know it gives me a headache,
Never mind, I'll make do,
Drive faster, you idiot!
She should know that I am tailing her!
She drives really fast!
So, what's stopping you?
Run over anyone who gets in the way!
This is my fucking town!
Come,
No bribe, no scandal! Vote for the candle!
Greetings, Shila!
Hello,
No one bothered to tell me there's a new paan shop in town?
Brother, this is Billu,
-He was a guard in the forest department -Sorry, sir,
Forest,
-Right, I met Mr, DFO yesterday, -How would you like your paan?
Sweet, saucy, finely chopped betel-nuts and double the cardamom,
So, I told him, you keep yapping about the 21 jungle cats in your reserve,,,
I didn't see a single tiger when I went there!
Where did all the tigers go?
Did they vanish into thin air?
Shot and decorated on walls, brother,
Mr, Magnet is here as well,
Yes, brother,
Paan,
Top notch!
He has magical hands, brother!
Billu, paan is what makes a man!
You have my blessings!
If you ever have a problem just come to the party office, okay?
Wow! It has brightened our life!
Brother, it's out,
No, it's burning bright!
I have to go to the city council to help my mother out,
Let's go,
-No corruption, no scandal! -Vote for the candle!
-Your head, my sandal! -Fuck the candle!
Tasty peanuts!
Shila will ruin everything,
He scared all the boys away,
What's her day like?
-She drops her brother to school, -One,
-And comes back, -Two,
-Then, she goes to school herself, -Third,
-And comes back, -Four,
Four times,
These are the only instances she comes out, right?
Speak up!
No, doesn't come out often, She's very homely,
Homely?
We have a problem, daddy,
Shila is going to hog all her time,
All the other boys are going to lose heart,
What now?
There's no need to be nervous,
Give us a nice paan, I'll just take a leak,
Have your paan first, daddy!
Why are you in a hurry, daddy? I'll eat it after I pee,
Paan after taking a leak?
Is it against your virtue?
No, no, you'll just get your hands dirty,
Normally you spill a drop or two when you take a leak, right?
So? Piss is no poison!
Daddy, in fact drinking your own piss is very good for health!
Yuck! What's wrong with you, daddy?
I'm not kidding, daddy, Morarji Desai used to do it!
-The Ex-Prime Minister? -Yeah!
So what?
That doesn't mean I have to,
Bottoms up on pee, like it's the finest scotch!
Hey! I will not tolerate any loose talk about our Prime Minister, man!
You're an emotional man, daddy,
Damn right,
You always waste my time loitering around, It's not okay!
Have you lost it?
History will tell you,,,
behind every successful paan shop is a loitering bunch,,,
who can't get the girl!
And this Shila is about piss all over your bright future!
Do something about it, daddy!
Is there no one in all of Lormi who could teach Shila some manners?
Are you feeling constipated?
Right?
What an idea, daddy!
I know the Vito to this Michael Corleone!
Someone who will make Shila piss his pants!
Did you get it?
The guy who made his debut with the commissioner's daughter in 1999,
And then he deflowered Bhavna Mandharia in 2003,
Only a diamond can cut another diamond,
Only a business baron can trump this political prince,
Divide and rule!
Come on! He'll be at the arcade!
-I need to pee, man, -We'll make a pit stop,
-Okay, we'll stop near the school, -Yeah, we'll pee together!
Love is blind, daddy!
What's the context, daddy?
There's no context, But a connection,
What connection?
From one heart to another, daddy!
Whose heart, daddy?
Mr, Shiladitya Singh's heart!
The candle politician?
He follows Rinku Nanoria every day,
But the entire city knows that, daddy,
That's not the news,
Really?
The news is that, this city has never seen an angel like Rinku Nanoria!
Here comes my finishing move!
Hey!
Put it on my tab,
-What tab? -Our tab!
I closed your tab last year,
What the fuck? Why'd you that?
The Goddess of wealth showed up in my dream,
She told me that as long as I offer you credit,
my luck will never change!
And the next day, I shut your tab,
Popi, mind your language!
Listen Bonnie and Clyde, shut your trap and pay up!
Pay up!
-What's this? -Mouth freshener,
Put it on my tab,
Okay,
Thank you, Aashu!
The great Mr, Aashu! How are you doing?
I'm good, Shila,
You didn't come to Tinu's wedding?
I had been to Mumbai for a business trip,
Of course, The wedding was great, We missed you,
-Hey, Mr, Magnet,,, -The prick was in Kolkata!
-Hello, -And he claims it was Mumbai,
I know his "business trips",
Get me a soda,
He has three mistresses in Kolkata, He visits Kolkata every month,
We live in a democracy, my friend! Everyone is a free man,
But freedom has its limits as well,
Let's go,
It's an advance, I'll keep coming,
What you looking at, man?
Pick it up!
Mr, Aashu only deals in 1000-rupee notes!
Brother, we need a favor,
Tell me,
Now that you will be coming,,,
we were thinking of setting up a carrom board here,
Maybe even a small club?
Right, brother,
We'll return the money in two months,
Sure, let me think about it,
That's exactly what Shila said,
He's been saying that for a month now,
Take it from my shop tomorrow,
I'll do it first thing in the morning!
Should I get the stand?
What's this carrom nuisance, daddy?
It's not nuisance, daddy, It's business,
The boys are low on morale
now that such experienced campaigners are after the chick,
Carrom will make sure, we keep everyone in high spirits,
I don't want any spirits, high or low, around my shop,
My uptight and angry daddy!
All your business is because of these high spirits and this Rinku chick,
So, don't deny the masses their opium,,,
or these boys will show you "Who's your daddy!"
That's right, Let's go,
Where?
-You ask too many questions, daddy, -He's a restless soul!
Just come,
I have a business to run, daddy,
Business at this hour?
Is the "homely" girl's gonna come out and buy a chocolate?
-Give me one, -No!
You guys carry on, I'll come after I shut shop,
Yo mamma is so fat, he who won't come with us, is a rat!
-Okay, I'm coming, -Cool,
Now as Shila and Aashu slug it out in this tug of war,,,
we will win the tickets to the show,
And rake in the moolah!
But what's their beef?
Tell him, Somu,
You're the historian, Please do the honors!
Do you remember Ganesh theater?
Who owned it?
Mr, Sultaniya, Aashu's grandfather,
Shila's mom worked there as a manager,
His mom?
I won't comment on his mother,
In the year 1996,
when the movie Raja Hindustani was released,
Lormi was declared a town and City Council elections were announced,
Aashu's grandfather contested from Bazaarpada,
his symbol was the rising sun, He was the obvious winner,
But Shila's mother and her candle contested against him!
The town-folk thought she'd lost her mind,
But when the results were declared, the candle had swallowed the rising sun!
Shila's mother had won,
Aashu's grandfather couldn't handle the shock,
He embraced celibacy!
I can't feel my face, bro,
I think Somu let one loose,
This idiot thinks too much,
And this one talks too much, Stop talking!
Get lost!!!
-I think he needs an exorcism! -Get lost!
I'll show you exorcism!
Hail Mahadev!
That's alright,
Where will you get the carrom board from?
What is Aashu's shop called?
Yeah!
That's right,
100 more,
A bigger board--
Make sure he knows I've paid for it,
Yes, of course,
If you internalize this power,,,
18 pegs have to be sacrificed, just to save the queen, daddy!
Lovers, like these pegs, are fools,
Romeo-Juliet films have made them soft,
The queen ultimately belongs to the king,
Yes, sir?
Hey, move aside!
Just move!
Daddy, who's this new daddy?
He looks like The Rock!
Look at the jacket, Scorpion King!
He's the DFO's elder son, Vitesh,
Hello, brother,
Greetings!
When did you get back from the city?
How's Mr, DFO?
He must be out on tour,
We met him last year, such a generous soul,
He's very helpful,
Brother, your laces,,,
Brother, if you could donate a cooler for the carrom club,,,
It's so hot these days,
Go! Come on!
Does she look at the moon?
Do you know the answer, miss?
Please sit, Tell me,
Mr, Teacher! How are you doing?
I'm good, Mr, Shila, Why are you here?
I've heard there's a promising young student in your school,
What's his name?
He's made us proud in long jump, we are here to felicitate him,
Call him,
Show yourself, Raju Tempre,
He fixes punctures in a cycle shop these days,
Gotta felicitate someone now that we are here,
Has anyone in this room achieved anything?
Anybody?
This is your star-studded school?
Is this how you're utilizing the school budget?
Is it being utilized for the kids?
Where's that high-jump-Kamlesh?
Sir, he dropped out,
Education has taken the backseat, Mr, Teacher!
There will be consequences!
Sir, Moti wins the bronze in javelin throw every year!
Where's Moti?
Is he the one?
Keep it up!
Hey, get in line,
Chill out, daddy, He's a fellow investor!
What's going on?
We're preparing for the math test,
You mind your shop!
This is a betting ledger!
What the hell is going on?
It's not betting,
It's a race!
The race for Rinku Nanoria's heart! If you wanna play, get in line!
Who's leading?
Aashu, He has the odds of 90 to 100,
Shila at 75 and that Chimney at ten,
The DFO's prince,
The rascal burnt my shirt,
This is wrong, I don't approve of this, Everybody leave!
Bro,,,
spare a thought for us,
We don't have a shot at the girl anymore,
This game will provide some entertainment,
-That's true, -He's right!
Why would we come here? There are other paan shops in the city!
Here, Somu, 200 bucks on Chimney!
Planning on winning big, are we, Mr, Magnet?
Wanna have some chicken?
Papa, you're becoming an alcoholic!
It is not me who drinks the wine, but the wine that--
There's no need to get all Shakespearean about it!
You need to talk to Mr, DFO,
His son smokes a lot,
Why do we care?
My father smoked all the time,
He didn't even get a sore throat,
We live in a different era,
Nowadays, it's common to get cancer,
Why do we care? His father can pay for his treatment,
I never interfere in the boss' private life,
I thought you took your duty seriously,
He is burning his lungs out,
Do you want that to happen to your generous boss?
I don't want you accusing me of selling him cigarettes,
I won't,
I don't care either, It was my duty to inform you,
The more he smokes, the more money I earn,
That's true,
Give me the imported one!
Hold on,
Who the fuck is it?
Mr, Teacher, it's Billu,
Billu, my boy!
Come, Come,
What's up, my friend?
Why are you here?
I need your help to write a letter,
Bro,,,
my Hindi is extremely poor!
No, actually, I need it in English,
And what do you want me to write?
It's a love letter,
I have something for you as well,
Billu, my boy, if it's love letter, I will definitely write it!
Love is God, Billu, my boy!
Just wait and watch, My English,,,
will scare the shit out of,,,
the best English teachers in the city!
Where's my dictionary?
You're drinking a lot these days, brother,
I'm stuck here like the whiskey in this bottle!
And it's all because of that bastard!
Shiladitya Singh, or whatever,
He walks into my classroom and gives a fucking sermon,,,
so that he can hit on that sweet girl,
There it is!
My weapon of mass destruction!
Who was Shila hitting on?
Don't say his name,
If I see him, I'll beat him to pulp!
He's trying to steal the love of my life,
Who's that?
Fucking asshole! You're her teacher!
If you even look at her,
I'll shove the dictionary up your ass!
Can you hear me?
My sweet Rinku!
BILLU LOVES RINKU
A dagger pierces me like Romeo
This scorching heat Now feels like snow
I see you in that blue shirt And the red ribbon
It's the season of spring Wherever you tread
Two plus two For you is a million
I have you I don't need God anymore
Two plus two For you is 16
My heart sings When I see you at your door
BILLU LOVES RINKU
Papa, does "divide and rule" work?
Tell me!
Domestic liquor gives me a bad hangover,
I'll get you your scotch today, Now tell me,
-It doesn't work, -What?
It doesn't work,
"Bad-mouth and rule" is what works these days,
Ranger Tripathi used do that,
He would tattle about the DFO to the SDO,,,
and tell on the SDO to the DFO,
And the idiot got a promotion for that!
Hello, Mr, Aashu!
What is it?
I needed powder for the carrom,
Done for the day?
Yes, There's no business after 05:00 p,m,
Yes, sir?
Give him five boxes of carrom powder,
Okay, sir,
How much does a carrom board cost?
Why do you want to know?
I'm thinking I'll get one,
The customers have increased,
I see,
And, Shila's boys hog the other board all day,
Why do you let them?
How can I stop them?
You know how it is,
What do you mean?
Tell them I forbid it!
You?
Of course!
It's my bloody carrom board,
Really? Those boys were saying--
What were they saying?
-What were they saying? -No, nothing,
Okay, I have to go,
Hey! Billu!
What did they say?
Sorry, brother, They said it,
There might be some confusion,
Anyway, this divide and rule politics is destroying our town,
Leave the powder, I'll get it tomorrow,
Sure,
The weather's about to get hot and heavy, Chotu,
Strong winds are brewing from the south, Somu,
What should we do?
Hey!
What the hell is this?
Why are these boys always loitering here?
They're customers, sir,
If that's the case, they should buy, pay and leave!
Why are they here?
What's wrong, Mr, Thakur?
Please talk to him,
This idiot encourages these ruffians to hang around here,
Look, Mr, Supervisor, the youth is like raging water,
When there's a dam keeping it at bay, it's a beautiful sight,
Hell, it's even a picnic spot for families and lovers!
But do you know what happens when this dam breaks?
You should know you're the irrigation supervisor after all,
You're right, brother,
Just the paan shop would've been okay,
-But now there's this carrom board! -Hey!
The carrom board is a gift from me!
So that the youth of our town can interact, engage and be stimulated,,,
by healthy exchange of ideas!
But, brother, it's a decent neighborhood,
The decorum has to be maintained, right?
Neighborhood, Mr, Thakur? This is just the outskirt of the town,
That's the reason I installed this carrom board here!
Do you want one for your colony as well?
Exactly, Mr, Thakur, I'll send you a carrom board as well!
I'll send it from my shop,
Why take free stuff? I'll send you the money,
I've installed this one for free, I can install the other one as well,
What?
Come here!
Yes, brother?
What's he saying?
-What's he saying? -The truth!
I'm not a politician! I don't make false promises!
Because your family was thrown out of politics!
Politics wasn't our cup of tea,
Corruption and betrayal doesn't come to us naturally,
You two are respected citizens of our town,
Why are you fighting like goons?
This is beneath you!
This carrom represents your noble intentions, not your money!
Yes, brother, you're breaking our hearts!
And for what? For a silly carrom board?
This carrom has poisoned our town's atmosphere!
-Let's break it! -No, Somu, no!
-Let me do it! -No, Somu, no!
It's not my place to say this,,,
but, why don't you two play for it?
The carrom board belongs to the winner,
Who's this guy?
He's the DFO's son,
Okay, come on! Let's have a match!
-Do it! -Let's go!
-All hail! -Shila Bhaiyya!
-Let's go!
-All hail! -Shila Bhaiyya!
-No bribe, no scandal! -Vote for the candle!
Look at my sly heart, Blooming hopelessly
I stand nervous But it flutters freely
Look at my sly heart, Blooming hopelessly
I stand nervous But it flutters freely
It throbs and pulsates
With desires innate
It throbs and pulsates
With desires innate
Look at the hearty smile it wears
I stand nervous But it flutters freely
Look at my sly heart, Blooming hopelessly
I stand nervous But it flutters freely
Drinks for everyone! My treat!
This silly town has turned those shorts into pants,
Where's the queen peg?
Billu must have it,
-But where is he? -I don't know,
Without paans or cigarettes, no one will hang out here,
Unprofessional,
The bee blossomed the flower But the prince stole its nectar
The bee won't forget How his flower was ripped away,
The bee blossomed the flower But the prince stole its nectar
DISTRICT FORREST OFFICER LORMI
Hello, I want to talk to the DFO!
Who?
Who's Billu? You idiot!
Sorry, sir! May I know who's speaking?
You bloody watchman!
Let me talk to the DFO!
Sorry, sir! Sorry,
Just a minute, sir,
Hello?
Your darling son has started smoking,
He smokes two packs every day!
Pull him up before he gets lung cancer!
Who is this?
A well-wisher,
I had warned you, brother,
It can't stay a secret forever!
Let's go, Sir wants to see you,
Please,
Let's go home,
It's alright, sir, You're saving his lungs,
Billu, come here,
This is for Shila's tab,
He's asked you to keep the change,
I haven't seen him in a while,
He'll never come here again,
You're the reason he lost!
Do you know how sad he is?
All you rascals are jealous of him,,,
You can buy this teddy bear,
-It's really cute, -You equally cute, ma'am!
-Thank you, -Thanks,
What do you want?
The one's in the corner are for Father's Day,
And the last one is for Sister's Day,
-Okay? -Yes,
My dear brother--
Yes, Mr, Aashu!
No, no, they're ready!
Chintu!
Take Mr, Aashu's wedding invitation cards to his house,
Which one says, "I love you"?
"I love you" card,
Come on, man! One last game!
Billu will soon be here,
My blood lusts for nicotine, daddy,
I can't do without tobacco,
Let's go,
Where?
Where are we going?
No drinks tonight?
You go inside,
I have made my decision,
What?
You will marry the daughter of Jamnaprasad from Ranigaon village,
Jitendra will go talk to them,
Stop annoying me, Papa,
My word is final!
I'm not going to open this door!
Let's see what you can do,
Fly away dear letter!
I hope my friend is feeling better!
Dear Billu, I hope this letter finds you in good health,
Why is your shop closed these days?
Everyone is worried about you,
Please focus on work,
Yours forever,
Sushant Tiwari Vijay,,,
and Mudit Mohan Shukla aka Somu and Chotu,
Mr, Dubey was right,
If a boy doesn't find a woman on time,
he never becomes a man!
What is this?
Two boys came on a bike and threw it,
You know them?
No, they had covered their face,
Listen, Billu,,,
Mr, Chopra said,,,
you haven't paid him for the supplies,
Is everything alright?
You don't need to worry about it,
I'll handle him,
LOITERING AROUND THE SHOP IS NOT ALLOWED
NO CREDIT ONLY CASH
Is this a paan shop or a government office?
It's a matter of principle, daddy,
Every business needs some rules,
For business, you need to open your shop first,
Getting your panties in a bunch won't cut it,
Why don't you mind your own business, daddy?
Let's see if you say the same to Mr, Chopra,
He's been looking for you all over the town,
You need to shut your mouth, daddy!
Your brain is full of shit, you need a laxative,
-You're the one who needs it, -Fuck off!
Bitch,
Mind your language, daddy!
Really? What are you gonna do about it?
Let it go, daddy!
Hey! Stop it!
Bhadauriya is here! Run!
Who?
Which planet are you living on?
He's the new super cop, Raju's betting ring,
Gigi's hooch bar, Bhageri's pot den, he's shut them all down!
Talks tough, slaps harder!
Don't leave me! Wait for me!
Did he go to the girl's house?
Did he say something?
No, he was looking at us,
He'll definitely be back,
Let's go!
Wait! Stop! This isn't a girl's college,
He can't book us under "Operation Eve teasing,"
Look!
He's taking a stand for you!
And you broke my glasses!
Come on! Patch things up,
Come on, hug it out!
Stop this PDA!
Come here!
We're just friends, sir,
Did I ask you? Did I?
Assholes!
Why are you guys lollygagging here?
Don't you have jobs?
Whose shop is this?
-It's my shop, sir, -Come here,
Name?
Tell me your name!
What's this goo in your hair?
It's gel, sir,
Get on your knees,
Do you have a municipal license for the shop?
Can you hear me?
No, sir,
Who threw the card?
I don't know, sir, They had covered their faces,
They had covered their faces?
All you assholes harass the poor girl every day!
Don't you guys have women in your family?
I don't, sir,
Fucking asshole!
You think you're a smartass!
Bloody smartass!
Apologize to them!
Fold your hands!
Sorry, sir!
-I want you to mean it! -Sorry, sir,
Get down and say sorry,
Sorry, sir,
Listen up, assholes!
If--
Hey!
If I see a single guy standing here,,,
I'll shove my baton so far up your ass, it'll come out your nose,
Get down!
Get up,
It's okay,
You're the butt of every joke
They're laughing All the town folk
Hail the holy Goddess!
All hail!
You got an itch That you can't scratch
You're down every ditch You've become the town-bitch!
Yeah, the town-bitch!
You got an itch You've been scratching like a bitch
You're down every ditch You've become the town-bitch!
So, let's raise a ruckus And let's make a mess
Run riot, like a man possessed!
So, let's raise a ruckus
Like a man possessed
And let's make a mess
Run riot, like a man possessed!
Get married,
It gets lonely once you start growing old,
After your mother's death,,,
I've stopped socializing,
If you get married,,,
we'll be a part of the society once again ,
The world's a forest wild And you're the tiger's bait
Bro pick up a gun Before it's too late!
Baba, when I was in fifth grade,,,
the DFO had a big birthday party for his son,
I begged Papa to take me along,
But he didn't,
I cried,
I cried my eyes out,
My mother, just to cheer me up,
threw me a birthday party,
She called a couple of boys from the neighborhood,,,
and propped up a candle on some biscuits in a dish,
But I didn't stop crying,
Because no one got me gifts,
My mother was very considerate,
She died of lung cancer,
Baba, you know why the forest department wants to save the tigers?
Because if there are no tigers, to eat the deer,,,
the forest won't survive,
The world is full of tigers,,,
and I am a deer,
Life is a river my child,,,
you can either build yourself a boat or swim with the current,
But if you swim against the tide, you will surely die,
Like I died,,,
pining for that unfaithful woman,
What woman?
RAMKALI
The world's a forest wild With trees that shine and glitter
Don't you eat the fruits Every one of them is bitter!
So, let's raise a ruckus And let's make a mess
Run riot Like a possessed man!
So, let's raise a ruckus
And let's make a mess
You're like a dog's tail Twisted to the core
But there's a twist in your tale You're now Mr, Hardcore!
Hurl a stone or grab a stick
Hoist your flag, nice and quick And let them hear your rifle click
Let's raise a ruckus And let's make a mess
Run riot Like a possessed man!
You zoom past Leaving a trail of dust so cool
You're a high school drop-out
Spew out into the air The embers of your heart
Hold a match to your mouth Let this fire start
Let's raise a ruckus
And let's make a mess
Run riot Like a possessed man!
Let's raise a ruckus And let's make a mess
Run riot Like a possessed man!
RINKU NANORIA IS A BITCH,
What is this nonsense?
I trusted this bugger and gave him credit,
And I haven't seen a dime in the last four months!
Billu is this true?
-Papa, go inside, -Tell me what's wrong,
Papa, just go inside!
You'll get your money, Mr, Chopra, I just need some time,
Time for what?
You don't even open your shop anymore!
How will you pay me back?
-He'll pay, Mr, Chopra, I'll talk to him, -We'll talk to him,
What will you say?
I don't care!
I need the money right now!
Go inside, Papa!
Mr, Chopra, he's just starting out,
He doesn't understand business!
-Sit, -Shut up,
Every business has ups and downs,
The shop will open on time starting tomorrow,
You'll get the balance in 15 days,
And then they lived happily ever after! Show's over, go home!
Tomorrow is New Year's Eve,
So?
The cops will be around,
Lay low for a week,
No more compromises,
My shop will open on time,
She must've really broken someone's heart?
Why else would he do this?
I think it must be Chimney,
He always seemed to be a little crazy,
History will tell you, daddy,,,
lovers are always a little crazy,
Is it done?
Will it be done today?
Hey, Billu!
Why was the shop closed?
Are you scared of these cops?
Brother, you're rich and famous,
A cop's Baton has never touched your body,
It takes a week to recover,
Bastard!
Look!
They've started drinking as well!
What if he sees this?
Brother, let's go for a drive,
We can party here, The town is dead man!
Billu has opened his shop, Let's take a look,
Really? Let's go,
Get out of our way, Asshole!
Fuck off!
RINKU NANORIA IS A BITCH
Happy new year, Mr, Aashu!
Brother!
No trip to Mumbai on the New Year's Eve?
He does not go to Mumbai, He goes to Kolkata!
Shut up,
Don't mess with him!
Only the cheapskates go to Kolkata!
He is a Mumbai guy, man!
Am I right?
Shila! You know he doesn't like to talk when he's drinking,
I'm so sorry, Mr, Kaki!
-Can you please do this some-- -Fuck off!
Fucking paan vendor!
What the fuck are you staring at?
Get lost!
Go get me a paan,
How's your sister?
And her husband?
I saw him at the railway station once,
Why don't you get him a rickshaw?
Maybe I can help you out?
Shut your trap, Shila,
Maybe it'll help you think about where you can hide your face,,,
once you lose this election,
Maybe in Mr, Ratan's cement factory?
Shila can't go in there, Because his mom does, at night,
Motherfucker!
Fucking assholes!
This is not a public garden!
You can't just piss and leave! Fuck off!
Watch yourself, Billu!
You better watch yourself, motherfucker!
I've had enough of you assholes!
And you political twat! All fart, no shit!
-Get him! -Hey!
Have you lost it?
You tried to humiliate that girl!
Fucking paan vendor!
Asshole! You want to be a hero, huh?
Asshole!
You want to humiliate her?
Wanna be a hero?
Fucking asshole!
Motherfucker!
Not my shop!
Don't touch my fucking shop!
-What did you say? -Don't touch my shop!
-Let the poor guy go, sir-- -Enough!
Stay out of this, assholes!
-Stand straight! -What did you say?
Please don't touch my shop, sir,
You wanna see what I do to your shop?
Come here,
Push!
Fucking asshole!
He wants to humiliate the poor girl!
CHAMAN BAHAAR
Get him,
Come on!
Shove him in,
-LORMI POLICE STATION -In yet another case of police brutality,
one errant cop, Mr, Bhadauriya, from Lormi police station has destroyed,,,
a poor paan vendor's shop under the guise of "Operation Eve Teasing",
He also attacked a peaceful gathering
of young boys, celebrating the new year,
I don't even celebrate the new year,
We were just playing carrom,
This cop came in and started acting like Rambo!
Stop this, Bhadauriya will beat the crap out of me,
Bhadauriya is history, man! Can't you see?
He's going to get transferred,
-Come on, -Not on camera,
No, I can't,
Look at the mess you've made, child,
DETENTION ROOM
You're Mr, Ramayan's son, right?
I'm sure he must be proud of you!
What about that nursery in Sitapur?
We've sent 25,000 plants, sir,
And Korea?
5,000 plants, They'll get them in two days,
Mr, Ramayan!
Yes, sir?
You didn't go to the police station?
Sir, I'm a government employee,
How can I protest against the government?
Rumors are that this issue is about a girl
who has been named and shamed on the city's walls and currency notes,
But people aren't willing to talk about it,
He's a simple businessman,
Our friend has been falsely implicated,
Hundreds of people pay at a shop,
A shopkeeper can't be responsible for every note he receives,
-Play the drums, ring the bell! -Fascist police go to hell!
-Shame on,,, -Lormi Police!
Just say whatever you want,
-All hail! -Shila Bhaiyya!
They brutality of the police can be seen clearly! Look at his face!
His face, his legs and back is swollen!
Look at the poor kid's back!
Does this happen in a civilized society?
We want Bhadauriya out,
And we want to save our town!
-All hail! -Shila Bhaiyya!
Son, where are you going?
Home,
You can go home later, The country needs you,
Son, you're an election issue now!
No bribe, no scandal! Vote for the candle!
The common man will not be terrorized!
I promise the people of Lormi,,,
I will not rest until Bhadauriya is transferred!
Billu's shop will be restored!
I will help him!
-All hail! -Auntie!
-All hail! -Shila Bhaiyya!
No bribe, no scandal! Vote for the candle!
-All hail! -Auntie!
-All hail! -Shila Bhaiyya!
-All hail! -Auntie!
No bribe, no scandal! Vote for the candle!
People finally know your name,
The lunch is ready,
Eat it,
I need to go to the office,
LOITERING AROUND THE SHOP IS NOT ALLOWED
Come in,
Don't take them off,
Come in,
Sit,
I'm really sorry about,,,
what happened to you,
We used to live in Mungeli,
Mr, Bhadauriya was the officer in charge at Mungeli,
He's an old family friend from Jabalpur,
He's a little hot-headed,
We told him that your shop had been there,,,
before we moved in,
Is the tea ready, Rinku?
You paid for my bail,
The others just,,,
What's done,,,
is done,
Anyway,,,
we are now moving,,,
to Bilaspur,
This town just didn't suit us,
Have some tea,
I'm really sorry,
RINKU NANORIA IS A BITCH
What's up, daddy?
All good, daddy,
So,,,
where's the carrom setup these days?
Carrom's dead, bro,
Pool tables are the rage now,
Get with it,
Take this,
-No, daddy, Let it be, -Keep it, daddy,
Why don't you join us at Shila's place?
We've setup three tables!
The place is crazy, bro!
Sure, some day,
We'll see you,
LORMI MUNICIPAL CORPORATION WELCOMES YOU,