What are you talking about?
We're in an anthropological decline,
That's what I'm saying!
I really believe that Man,,,
Humans,
Man as in mankind,
An important distinction,
Humanity is a parasite,
No screaming!
Listen to me,
A parasite is an organism that destroys its environment,
We've always done that,
Human beings adapt to survive,
We've resolved nearly all exterior adaptation problems,
Our destructiveness is the threat,
The project is coming to an end,
But humans destroy to create, build new things,
Humans are inherently good,
Our humanist!
The intentions are good,
Thanks, Jean-Jacques Rousseau!
I'm not talking about morals, good and evil,
None of that means anything,
I'm fuzzy on the whole good-bad thing,
Not taking the girls to dance class
because you're hungover
qualifies as "bad",
I was just quoting Ghostbusters,
And I take the girls,,, sometimes,
A shameless lie,
There is such a thing as morality, universal values,
- Killing, - No, not killing!
Many countries legitimize murder,
The death penalty in the USA,
China, Egypt, India,,,
India!
How can you invent vegetarianism, yet kill?
India didn't invent vegetarianism,
It dates back to Antiquity,
Pythagoras was a vegetarian,
Xavier is our Jeopardy contestant!
I'm just saying
everything we do attacks the environment,
Starting with breathing!
We're in extinction denial,
Postponing our inevitable demise,
End of Ted Talk, thank you!
I'm a lowly parasite,
This is Joséphine,
- Hello, - Xavier, Sophia,,,
Nice to meet you,
- You know him, - Obviously,
- How are you? - Good,
Joséphine is Victor's mother, we swim together,
Three laps, then lots of wine!
You ok? We're discussing universal values,
I'm ok, more or less,
Joséphine is divorcing,
Sorry,
The paperwork makes me want to shoot myself,
Complicated,
I need a lawyer,
A friend of mine specializes in family law,
Yeah? Great,
That'll help a lot,
- Mom! - Honey! How are you?
- So handsome! - He's been very good,
Shall I drive?
Damn, you're clumsy!
I didn't mean to!
Of course not, no one means to spill,
But it's idiotic!
You're crazy, it's just a glass!
Woman are crazy,
Crazy Mommy is sick of your screaming!
While you play,
refugee kids swim here for a better life!
- Swim here? - No, but,,,
Deal with your daughters!
I'll buy you a new one,
- What's the brand? - Forget it!
I need a smoke,
She yells, I smoke,
I'll come, but I'm no longer allowed to smoke,
Boo, Xavier!
Tobacco is a hard no,
Leave me your number, for,,,
Love?
What?
Love is the only universal value,
Are you ok to drive?
As long as I don't go too fast,
Françoise's brain seems to be,,,
overworked,
Ground down by family life,
What's family got to do with it?
They're Philippe's kids too, His brain is fine,
Obviously, he has time, He never looks after his kids,
Having kids in our era,,,
talk about anxiety,
They make love three or four times a week,
But they fight all the time,
I'd rather not fight,
Fill the tank so you can go straight to the chalet tomorrow,
Aren't you coming?
No, the Ottawa conference,
You said that was next week,
I never said that,
You did,
I'm sorry,
Never mind,
Shit, what'll I say?
I know nothing about renovations,
- I don't know him, - Let him talk,
If you came, it'd be,,,
- I'm no expert, - I hate meeting strangers,
I have no interest in renovations,
Now I'm anxious,
The Nature of Love
Don't tell me you didn't notice,
What?
The French woman's incandescent beauty,
Hardly,
You don't find her pretty at all?
- She's not bad, - Not bad?
She's a real beauty, totally your style,
"A friend of mine specializes in family law,"
Who?
You're so full of shit!
You're not attracted to her?
I don't answer trick questions,
It's not a trick question,
I don't mind at all,
You wouldn't sleep with her?
In a survival scenario, if you were the last humans on Earth,
If it was down to just me and her,,,
I'd be shocked to the last man, since I can't change a lightbulb,
Why would I be the sole survivor?
Freaks me out!
I'm not qualified to be the last human,
- Stop dodging the question! - It should be,,,
I don't know,,,
that muscleman on TV who goes to the rough neighborhoods!
He'd be a good survivor, Makes more sense,
Do you actually think people who studied,,,
Diderot's theories of education will survive? No!
Survivors do CrossFit and own guns,
You and I will be the first to die,
You'd sleep with her,
Maybe,
Ok yes, maybe!
Highly inebriated, Happy now?
Goodnight!
- I love you, - I love you, too,
- So sorry! - Hello,
- Sorry I'm late, - No worries,
I had a job nearby, and I don't live far,
No problem,
Let's take a look,
How was the drive?
Look at this mess here! No good,
I'd redo the whole thing, All the way down the baseboard,
When it freezes, it's bad, It thaws, then leaks,
Look, this hasn't been kept up,
It leaks, it's moldy,
Gotta take it all out and redo the plumbing,
Nothing's been done since construction, around 1940-42,,,
Most of the houses around here were built in '42,
Under the carpet you should have a beautiful wood floor,
Redo the electricity, unless you want to burn alive,
Burn alive? What do you mean?
- Nice fireplace! - Burn alive?
Needs a sweep, Didn't the inspector tell you?
My partner saw him,
- Who was it? - Xavier,
No, Xavier is my lov,,, my partner,
The guy,,, I forget,,,
His name was,,, J, L, something,,,
Let me think,,,
- Boivin! - Boillard?
He's cheap, but he sucks,
- Sacrement! - What?
Carpenter ants,
Carpenter ants in your windows,
Better not mess with the roof,
unless you want it to cave in on you,
What'd you pay for it?
770,000,
- Don't take it so hard, - Sorry!
I was kidding,
I mean, it does need work,
It's just so much,,,
so much,,,
all at once,
Excuse me,
Come outside,
Let's get some air,
Sorry,
I'm so ridiculous!
Sometimes we get tired,
I'll give you a deal, There are no problems,
only solutions, We'll figure it out,
I thought it'd be simpler,
All this,
Scream,
Scream! Screws your head back on,
When I lose it, I scream,
Feels great! Go on,
Rusty in there, but not too shabby,
Let's grab a beer,
You need to meet the locals,
I'll wait in the truck,
I was no good at school, I dropped out quick,
I ended up in construction,
I hated having a boss, so I founded my own business,
I've been here,,,
seven or eight years now,
Are you from Montreal? Or French?
It's your accent,
I'm from Quebec City, maybe that's why,
I've been in Montreal for 20 years,
Quebec City is beautiful, Romantic,
I spent a weekend there with my old girlfriend,
We did a buggy ride, a chic fondue restaurant
and a threesome with the waitress,
Yep!
The good old days,,,
Romantic place,
- Excuse me! - Yes?
Could you turn up the music?
My favorite slow song, as a kid, It's so long,
Once I danced with Guillaume Bourbonnais,
Very virile, for a boy of 12!
He smoked,
My first love,
My English sucks,
Basically, he says he'll change what killed their love,
using a typical power-ballad metaphor,
Which is?
It's: "Your pride,,,
has built a wall so strong I can't get through,"
"Your pride has built a wall,,," Beautiful,
He's ready to cut the crap
and talk to his beloved,
People don't talk anymore,
We eat, shop, go to the mall, buy a house, a chalet,,,
Chalets are good!
I get your meaning,
But true love? I'm too romantic,
I want to spend all my time with the woman I love,
Share everything with her,
build a house, make love all the time,
go to the woods with our kids, grow old, get all wrinkly together,
Just be happy,
Love should be simple,
You don't have a girlfriend you buy stuff with?
He's got a bunch!
He's a rascal, our Sylvain,
Cut it out!
We love him around here,
My girlfriend? Hunting and fishing,
Nature,
I won't be meeting any neighbors tonight!
Other than Michel, it's pretty dead,
Don't piss yourself, we've got a Madonna here!
She'll take us for hicks,
I know I'm no Guillaume Bourbonnais, but,,,
would you care to smoke a cigarette with me, Miss?
I'd love to,
Thanks,
Will you be alright?
All alone in the woods?
I'm super scared, but,,,
I have to get used to it,
I can stay in my truck to protect you,
So,,,
Come!
Are you ok?
I'm heavy, Very heavy!
Don't you think?
I'm big-boned,
When I was little, young, younger, a kid,,,
my mother said people thought I was cute,
But when they picked me up, I was so heavy,
- Don't you think? - You're perfect, you make me hard,
Let's see,,,
Am I the one making you all wet?
Yes!
Most likely!
Your ass, show me your ass,
Do you,,,
I can't! We can't!
Wait, be right back!
SYLVAIN TANGUAY GENERAL CONTRACTOR
ON A VOYAGE BETWEEN TWO WORLDS WE WILL LOVE!
Where were you? I was worried!
It was raining, I stayed at the chalet,
There was no signal, We need to fix that,
But I called the landline,
You did? I must've been sleeping,
The chalet is a disaster, It'll cost us an arm and a leg!
Tell me later, I gotta go, Bye!
Bye, Madame! Kisses!
Bye, Monsieur! Ciao!
Hello, what a surprise! Come in!
My god, we,,,
We woke you?
No, I'm awake,
Pierre wanted to get the snow tires put on,
- Hi, Pierre, - It's early,
- but they get busy, - Xavier didn't warn me,
They worked fast,
I'm happy to see you,
We waited in the car for a while,
Then we thought
we'd try ringing,
- You did right, - But we woke you,
- No, I was working out, - I made lasagna,
Not very original, but I'm not a great cook,
Thanks, that's very kind,
My son isn't here?
No, he's in Ottawa,
I didn't know,
- Have a seat, be right there, - We'll wait,
I'll just get changed,
- Don't bother, Sylvie, - I'm happy to!
I was going to, I just didn't have time,
Leave it, I'll do it!
Yesterday,,,
he forgot my name,
He's disappearing,
My god,
I can't exist without him,
My god,
I know nothing!
I don't even know what I like,
That's why,
Sorry,
The lasagna is sticking!
Of course, we use cheese,
because it's lasagna,
We use a lot of cheese, because we love it,
And it bubbles over, it,,,
You're like a daughter to me,
- Sylvain Tanguay, - Yes, hello!
Good evening, Sylvain, It's Sophia,
The one you,,, Sophia,
Sophia from Montreal,
Just wanted to say,,,
it was really great,
Really,,, really great!
But,,, I don't know why I'm saying this in a message,
I hope to see you again,
I mean, for the renovations,
Because,,, I'm in a relationship,
We can't do that again,
Although I doubt you're interested in me,
I wouldn't want you to think that I think that,,,
- Sweets? - Thanks!
My pleasure!
Sorry, that wasn't for you, Sylvain,
You can start the renovations on Monday,
The urgent work, as agreed, before winter,
And,,, that's it,
Thanks, See you around,
According to Plato, love is intrinsically linked
to the notion of,,,
desire,
And desire, for Plato, is defined by a lack,
So obviously, Platonic love
has no form other than frustration,
We desire what we do not possess,
This love must not be consummated,
Or, if we want it to last,
we must see to it that our lover never belongs to us,
The love must be forbidden,
Through adultery, for example,
When we live with someone for a long time,
when we have children, a routine,
we're comfortable showing our worst selves,
We enter into a form of anti-seduction,,,
- Yogurt? - If you like,
When the fear of losing our partner subsides,
love, according to Plato, dies,
We console ourselves, saying, "It's not like before,
but it's grown into something else,"
I can't stop thinking about you,
I think we have to see each other again,
- Are you liking your book? - It's fascinating,
It's about the Trump era, I'm discouraged,
- Is this ugly? - Yes,
Honest!
- I bought you a present, - Yeah?
On the table in the entry,
Thanks!
I figured it'd excite you,
Epistemological &amp; Aesthetic Space in Gaston Bachelard
- Have a good day! - You too,
Relax!
Hi,
Is your spouse here?
We have to sign the contract,
He's out for the day, he'll be back late,
Very late,
What a shame,
I haven't slept in three nights,
I usually sleep like a log,
I've been thinking about it too,
I'm gross, I stink!
Your smell,,,
I get hard just smelling your crotch,
Just a second!
Sorry,
Come in,
Big place, Nice original woodwork,
Can I get you something to drink? Coffee?
I can't,,,
It's totally irrational,
Here, of all places!
Makes no sense!
At the same time, it's normal to sleep with someone else
after ten years with someone,
I know no faithful couples,
Except my friend Catherine,
There's nothing carnal about her,
I wish I was like her,
Detaching from your body must be great,
Frees space for less trivial things,
You're not detached from your body,
Why are you fighting your true self?
Excuse me, but,,,
I have some urgent business,
Easy, easy,,,
Yes, that's it,,,
A little more to the right,,,
- There? - Yes!
Yes, that's it!
Your tongue is so good!
Slide your finger in,,,
HUNTING IN QUEBEC
I've never seen the ocean,
- Never seen the ocean? - No,
We'll go together,
So,,,
I'll be going now,
My afternoon snack,
I'm crazy about you,
I've never felt like this before,
I feel like you're,,,
the love of my life,
My throat is dry, got any,,, water?
Did you hear me?
Me too,
I never want to be far from you,
Never,
I don't want to go in,
"We will choose the one place that is still secret,
And there, in the deep waters
of an undiscovered river
we will love as though our love were death,"
That's so beautiful,
Who wrote it? Sounds like Rimbaud,
Michel Sardou,
Is it lame to recite the poetry of others?
I'm not good with words,
No, it's not lame at all,
I know plenty of people with big vocabularies,
Doesn't make them any cleverer,
You're perfect,
You make me want to live,
Hey, beautiful!
You'll be my wife, it's non-negotiable,
To give you a clearer picture,
it's made of porous canvas,
in a kind of,,, not glue,
more like some kind of,,,
jelly, let's say,
People can approach the object,
put their fingers in the holes
and rip it apart,
The piece will be destroyed by human intervention,
I call it "Eco-strangulation",
You have to see it,
Oli has created an amazing work,
It reminds me a bit of the work of,,,
Magritte?
- Renoir? - No!
Klimt? Cézanne?
Come on,
Damien Hirst!
Mom! Are you kidding?
We saw him at the Tate,
I detest that artist!
For the interactive side!
Not at all, come on!
I agree with Olivier, Hirst is so garish,
Controversial as well,
his use of animals,
It's a rape of nature,
Butterflies in his art? I'm no fan,
He makes shitty art for people who hate art,
If you can even call it art,
Talk about lame! Damien Hirst, Mom!
People drop his name to act like they know contemporary art,
Does his mom fund his expos?
Your mother is an idiot!
Just don't insult me,
Getting old is so hard,
Everything hurts, your brain turns to mush,
From 40 on, we women have to keep ourselves very clean,
Otherwise we stink to high heaven!
You made Mom cry,
I just said Hirst is shit!
You're the world's best mother-in-law,
Thank goodness I have you, my dear Xavier,
Excuse me,
My English is terrible,
That music you do,,,
what's the word?
I'm lost,
She's a waitress,
The erratic way you load the dishwasher amps my anxiety,
There,
Have you met someone?
No, what makes you say that?
You're quiet, you've stopped calling me and you're smiling,
Irrefutable proof,
I'm your mother, I know you,
He's beautiful, Mom, I've never seen a man so beautiful,
That's our weakness, We love beautiful men,
Must be his Spanish blood,
It dates way back, but still, I can feel it,
Well, well,
And Xavier?
Xavier? It's nothing,
Just a fling, We'll stay together,
They say the Spanish are cruel,
The people of the Inquisition,
Shit,,,
I miss you, I miss you,,,
I miss you, too,
I can't talk right now,
Don't talk, Just let me hear you breathe,
I'm scared,
Don't be a fraidy-cat, I'm here,
I love you enough to stay forever,
I picture us old, escaping to country,
To the country,
"Escaping to country" sounds like we're escaping into country music,
Yeah?
I need you, so I can wake up smarter,
Maybe someday I could even write my own poetries for you,
Poems!
I want you so bad,
Me too, my great beauty,
My intellectual,
Send me your breasts,
This way to the Aristotle seminar!
Why so disdainful?
Seriously, you don't know them,
They might be noble, elegant and kind,
I hate the way you put people down,
It's just a joke,
Too loud!
Noble, LOL!
Yes, noble, With greater moral qualities
and bigger hearts than those born with a silver spoon
just because their daddies and mommies,,,
Sorry, no offense,
- ,,,financed their two degrees,,, - One and a half!
,,,while they found themselves,
People from intellectually modest backgrounds
with big hearts,,,
"Intellectually modest backgrounds"? And I'm disdainful?
Don't you think they're douchebags?
You'd be friends with them?
What's going on?
They saw young people outside,,,
You judge their fucking,,,
Sorry, Sylvie,
,,,appearance against your microcosm,
You think modest origins
give you a big heart?
Those people are racist, they vote far right,
Quebec has no far right,
- Don't be so sure, - Admit you have no respect,
We have to unite if we want to save the planet,
I've never heard such an abstruse argument
- to get the last word, - It's what I believe!
- Save the planet? - It's green!
- Got it, Mom!
Wake up, tabarnak! Fucking roebuck, calisse!
What a lunatic!
Sorry,
The walnuts make it tasty,
Cream, tomatoes,,,
- Sylvain's here, - Who?
He's the,,,
Hello!
This is Xavier,
We'll take this inside,
Come, Daddy,
Hello,
- Hello, - Hi,
- He's doing the works, - I'm doing your works,
Don't ruin our beautiful project,
I'll be going, it's getting cold,
- Bye, Stéphane, - Sylvain,
If I lived in the country, I'd want to be him, Twang!
I'm only saying it because I love children,
Little babies,
I love them, I love,,,
to cuddle them,
I made a list of names,
No pressure! Just to pass the time,
I know you have busy lives,
We were different, We had our children young,
We're discussing it,
For when?
We're discussing it?
Not recently, but we've discussed it,
Not until I have a real job in Montreal,
Unlikely before menopause,
With that attitude,,,
What? Just being realistic,
I bought country bread and cretons for breakfast,
Do you like cretons?
Pierre loves them, Right, Pierre?
You love cretons?
You're all messy!
Look at me,
They're all he eats now,
That and sliced cheese,
I have to hide it or he'll eat three or four slices,
He never used to touch it,
I didn't realize taste would fade too,
I love it too, but I'm already plump enough,
Excuse me,
My head hurts, I'm going to bed,
Of course, my,,,
my dear girl!
She could freeze her eggs,
Don't worry, my dear boy,
But,,,
do get on it,
And don't you worry, Daddy and I
will help you finance the treatments,
For names, I was thinking,
if it's a boy,
maybe Francis, Simon,,,
or Philippe,
Like your granddaddy,
That would be a nice tribute,
Knock knock!
Can I come in?
It's your bedroom too,
- Are you ok? - I have a headache,
- That tickles! - Sorry,
It's ok,
- Are you ok? - I'm ok,
I'm ok,,,
I don't know,,,
- Want me to leave you? - Us,,, Leave me?
Leave you alone,
What about us?
Us,
- Us, - Us what?
Us, I don't know anymore,,,
I don't get it,
I think I met someone,
Nothing to say?
You think you met someone?
I met someone,
A person,
Why are you telling me?
You need to know,
I don't want to know, It's not my business,
I meet people too, all the time,
But I met someone,
Seriously,
Stop saying that, you're stressing me out,
But it's true,
Fuck the truth!
Did you sleep with him?
Did you?
Why do you want to know?
Did you sleep with him?
Yes,
Am I not sexual enough?
- Do I touch you wrong? - I'm leaving,
What?
I'll rent a flat,
sell the chalet, you won't even notice,
- You're not happy with me? - Sure I am,
Not unhappy, in any case,
We love each other,
Don't we?
I think we've become friends,
Who? You and him?
- You and me, - Who is he?
I don't understand, Who is he?
- You're my best friend, - Stop it!
We're not friends, you're my wife!
My love,,,
You can't do this to us,
Please don't leave us,
Please,
Xavier?
I didn't do,,,
I didn't do the taxes,
No problem,
I'm sorry,
Let's get you to bed,
Can I sleep with you?
Of course,
Hello?
Do you still want me to be your wife?
Your body has changed,
Your face, your skin, your hair, everything!
We make love constantly,
I must burn 500 calories a day,
What a life, I love it!
I cook, he repairs stuff,
We walk in the woods,
It's like he's brought me back to basics,
Lucky you! I'd love to be in love,
But you love Philippe,
- Yes, I love him, - You do,
You make love all the time,
After 12 years it's love,
but not LOVE, It's love, but,,,
I wish I had your courage,
You can always leave him,
Schopenhauer says the will to live drives love,
When we see another person as a reproductive force,
feelings of romantic love ensue,
To reproduce is to leave a trace of life,
Love thus allows us to experience immortality,
My beautiful beauty!
Schopenhauer asserts that in love, all is physical,
What we see as noble sentiments of the heart
are actually the expression of our sexual instincts,
It's simply our body talking,
Love, love, love,,,
Whazzit?
You're beautiful,
You make me beautiful,
- Guillaume Apollinaire, y'know? - Yes?
I saw him on your bookshelf, so I read a little,
- It's good, - Yeah,
"O my only love, my great folly",,,
Something like that,
Don't worry, fraidy-cat, They don't bite,
I love you so much,
Unexplained Phenomenon
Incredible Discovery
A Two-Headed Deer!?
Man Possessed by Own Wife
Rosé, Madame?
A drop or two won't hurt,
You'll see, it's a good one,
Like it?
Yes,
Look at him, he never stops,
My boy's heart is in the right place,
- I see you're not convinced, - Sylvain?
No, the wine!
Smells like shit in here,
That's how you talk to your mother?
It's your septic tank,
I can't afford the repairs,
I carry everything while you shout,
Calm your hormones,
Hear that?
I raised him wrong,
What you said is misogynous,
That's her new word, "misogynous",
That word has existed for a long time!
Calm down,
My beautiful grandkids!
We have a newcomer to the family,
- Settle down! - Perfect!
Hi, I'm Kevin,
- Hi, Kevin,,, - Karine,
I didn't see you!
We'd have watched our mouths,
Nice to meet you,
My wife,
He's taking me for a ride,
He parties and doesn't show up,
Sleeps on the job 'cause he's drunk,
- No good, - He's too drunk to work,
Whereas the Latinos,,,
They never complain, never come late,,,
Stop shouting!
He's the meanie!
He's being a meanie!
Jayden's always mean!
Jayden, stop making your sister cry!
It's always his fault! But I always get in trouble!
Enough!
Leave your sister alone, And Carolane,
stop or I'll leave you in the woods,
Don't say that to them,
It's the only way to get peace,
What was I saying?
Sorry, I hate when he does that,
Right, Mike! I fired him on the spot,
I can accept plenty of stuff,
But lazy asses who can't take initiative,
can't manage on their own? I'm no babysitter,
- Did you make it? - Yes, it's hearts,
I see that!
Look at that cutie-pie,
She's got a new favorite,
That's cute, Caro,
So, you teach at the university?
- Yes, I mean,,, - Mom, go easy,
I'm waiting on a position,
Meanwhile, I'm teaching senior citizens,
I really love it, it's my passion,
A woman with a passion is easier to wrangle,
Sophia is not to be wrangled,
You know what I mean,
No, I don't,
Sylvain is the family intellectual,
Only natural he's with an academic,
- And I'm the family idiot, - No!
That's not what I'm saying!
I'm saying your brother is curious,
He reads books,
You send me articles,
Not worth mentioning,
It is too worth mentioning!
- What kind? - Super interesting,
UFO sightings,
life after death,,,
The pyramids!
The pyramids,
That's interesting,
I believe in that stuff,
I have a ghost in my salon,
Listen!
He doesn't believe me, but last year,
I locked the salon myself,
I remember very well locking it,
The next morning, when I got there, the nail polish was rearranged,
And she keeps her salon very tidy!
I arrange them by color,
The yellow was over there, green, blue,
pink,,, scattered all over!
It gave me the chills, scared me silly!
Ghosts have nothing better to do than scatter nail polish!
Mom, your fondue is to die for,
Yummy,
I put wine in it,
Thought so,
Stop talking to me like I'm an idiot,
Gonna bawl now?
I don't bawl,
We have no manners,
My mom cries at every family dinner,
I'm used to it,
Excuse me, Sylvain, but tell your brother!
We got the point, Kevin!
Sorry, I'm emotional,
So, you have a beauty salon?
And a nice one! Smooth as mustard,
Yes, That's my passion,
I want women to feel beautiful,
Yeah, You're prettiest of all, and no dummy,
Now you're nice!
Family is the most precious thing,
Along with health, Cheers!
To everyone's health!
Thanks for welcoming me,
- Welcome to the family, - Thanks!
Let's get wasted! Little bro is finally in love!
Show me your nails while the males do the dishes,
We're modern men!
- Show me, - I'm kind of embarrassed,
Let's see now,,, yeah,
They need a little love,
I'm not very diligent with manicures,
I would've loved to go to university,
Come here often?
Mostly for the concerts,
We go out less now,
We don't party as much, Especially me,
Kevin still loves to party,
Must be his masculine side,
What's his feminine side?
Give me a minute, That's a good question,
He loves a finger up his ass!
Having fun?
Not as much as you, apparently,
Are you ok?
Who's the local star?
Who?
Whazzit? No,
Just kidding,
She must be a stripper or something,
That's my cousin, she's an optician,
But, in the country,
the definition of cousin is more vague, right?
She's your cousin but not your cousin,,,
Is she your cousin or not?
I don't get it,
Give us 5 Jäger bombs, we need to wake up!
Is that your real hair color?
It's my real color, but I dye it,
Why, if it's your color?
To cover my gray hair,
You'd look good with highlights,
Vanessa,
Nice to meet you,
Sophia, sorry,
I'm the lover,,, girlfriend,,,
I'm with Sylvain,
You're his cousin?
You say that as if you had to say it,
We all know you're his girlfriend,
Even if it's not immediately obvious,
Sylvain is super smart
and all that,
but he's always been unlucky in love,
Ok, the girls are gorgeous,
super sexy, blah-blah-blah,,,
Then they get all hysterical,
He's always disappointed,
At least for once, he's not with a sex symbol,
Yeah, true!
- I'm his little cousin, - What?
His little cousin,
By marriage, we don't share blood,
I've never wanted a child,
But I think I'd like one with you,
Ok,
Is that a yes?
I love you,
I slept with my fitness coach,
What?
I'm his best fellatio!
Wow!
- Drop the mic! - But Phil makes love to you constantly,
It's totally different,
With him,
I feel seen, he admires me,
- He likes sex games! - Like what?
We spit in each other's mouths, Two little llamas!
- Is Phil suspicious? - He insults me,
- Phil? - No, coach Akim,
- Interesting, - What's this say about me?
Maybe it's my guilt, or he senses something,
but Phil's never been nicer, We're so close now,
Interesting,
Do you still want to sleep with your shrink?
I never wanted to sleep with him,
I want him to want me, That's very different,
Seems healthy to me,
Akim is like your boyfriend,
He's manual,
We love men who sit and read cross-legged,
but they lack talent in bed,
Life is cruel, I need both,
I'm reborn!
Lady Chatterley!
- Are you burping the Chinese food? - Sylvain is smart,
- Of course! - Very smart,
- In a tangible way, - His intelligence is,,, earthier,
I'd love to meet him,
Sylvain, is very,,, concrete,
Sounds like it bothers you,
Not at all,
Am I too old for this?
Hello, my beautiful beauty,
Come to the door,
Special delivery!
What is it?
A bookshelf for your novels,
Thanks Sylvain, that's so sweet!
Anytime,
- C'mon, let's go to country, - The!
The country!
You've caught me off-guard,
Let's sleep here, I have nothing at yours,
I start work early tomorrow,
I'll take you,
But,,,
Why do you never want to sleep here? It's easier for me,
- Makes me nervous, - Come,
Excuse me,,,
Whose is this?
Xavier's, I think,
Is it or not? Did he come here?
I must've moved it by mistake,
If he came here, be honest and tell me,
Turn down your savage music!
- Why are you lying? - I'm not,
Seems like it,
- He didn't come! - Why are you laughing?
- I'm not, - You are!
I'm laughing, because,,,
you're stressing me out!
What's the matter?
Even if I did see him, who cares?
You can't always get what you want,
You can't just show up unannounced, change the plans,
hit the wall and spew racist shit like your redneck idol!
Whazzit, racist? What redneck?
"Whazzit" is not a word,
I talk how I want, Redneck?
Michel Sardou,
- So I have shitty taste? - No!
"Redneck?" "Racist shit?"
Sardou is politically on the right,
He has right-wing values,
- Give me an example, - He's xenophobic,
It means he fears foreigners,
Stop talking down to me!
Talk normal!
You're changing the subject, He must've come!
No! And in my world, I talk normal,
What's that mean, "in your world"?
Nothing,
Fuck your calm, snide tone!
What tone?
Gimme your phone!
Gimme your phone,
You're buying a leash?
I wanted to surprise you,
For him? Or is there someone else?
No, for you!
I wanted us to try it,
You're irrational, Go cool off,
You're not my mother!
Fucking wench!
Oedipus complex?
You bet I'm not your mother!
I don't believe in UFOs and I'm not a lush!
Crazy bitch,
Sorry, sorry!
Sorry, sorry, I,,,
I didn't mean what I said,
This is ridiculous, wait!
Forgive me,
He was upset about Xavier's coat being there,
He got super aggressive,
I was mega calm,
I just told him he shouldn't say "whazzit",
Say what?
"Whazzit" instead of "what is it",
Indeed, that's not very elegant,
People speak so poorly,
For example, you overuse "like",
Who cares, Mom!
I don't care about his language mistakes,
I just want to help him, I just want,,,
to encourage him to say the right words
to help him expand his thinking,
And then, it was like,,,
an explosion,
So bizarre, so crazy,
I was super calm,
Then, in spite of myself, there was some kind of a switch,
"Switch"? Isn't there a French word for that?
Change?
Psychological reversal,
Yes, that's more precise,
Developed language leads to precise thought,
My point exactly! Aren't you listening?
Then he said I was looking down on him
because I wasn't raising my voice,
That it was worse than screaming,
that I was his craziest girlfriend out of a crazy bunch,
Something like that,
I haven't heard from him in days, It's torture!
The man should always love us more than we love him,
Whatever,
Xavier loaned me a book about apartheid, Ebony Rage,
Have you read it? Fascinating!
Sylvain Tanguay,,,
The first time we will love
Remember
It's a promise we won't keep
We will love for nothing
On a voyage between two worlds
Feeling weightless
We will love as though love
were fear,,,
Unlike Plato,
Spinoza makes a distinction between desire and love,
We can desire something without valuing it,
like, for example,
wanting to sleep with someone we're not interested in,
Sometimes, we can even scorn the object of our desire,
We can also love without desire,
The value we place on someone determines love,
not our desire to,,,
excuse the expression,,, fuck,
- Sorry, - Shit happens,
Got the munchies, Ma'am?
- That was fun, - Yeah, bye!
But most of all, desire is a force,
It's at the origin of our capacity to act,
Desire is life,
He sees Xavier's coat
and his brain goes sideways,
I stayed super calm,
I just advised him not to say "whazzit",
- What? - It means "what is it",
I don't mind his mistakes,
I just want to encourage him to be precise,
to expand his thinking,
He flew into a rage over nothing, So bizarre, so crazy,
He's bonkers!
It was like a psychological reversal,
I stayed calm so we wouldn't fight,
That triggered him,
I need to poop!
Are you sure?
Must be his Spanish blood,
I'm gonna poop with Gisèle,
I fell into an abyssal vortex,
Spent two weeks watching videos about honey,
I wanted to put beehives on our roof!
What? You, beehives?
I don't believe you,
You're scared of the tiniest mosquito!
Mosquitos are bellicose,
The worst murderers on Earth,
Bees are pacifists, It's a different modus operandi,
So now you're a great urban beekeeper,
Yes I am,
And I wanted to tell you,,,
Did you know that all dictators,
actually all autocrats,
have a common denominator?
Very interesting! What is it?
A violent father,
Right, of course!
Freud scores a point,
- So? - They're all fascinating,
You can only choose one,
My favorite dictator?
Ramzan Kadyrov,
Absolutely, But if I may,
we've always had a soft spot for Gurdanguly Berdim,,,
- The guy from Turkmenistan? - Yes!
Did you know he was a dentist, totally obsessed with hygiene?
I'm loving this,
You know how to talk to me,
- Are you cold? - A little,
Thanks, feels nice,
- Are you ok? - Yes,
Thanks,
It's complicated,
- We shouldn't do this, - Please,,,
I need it,
So good!
This was for you,
I thought you'd never come back,
I can't live without you, I miss you too much,
I missed you, too,
I'm sorry,
You're so beautiful!
This is for you,
Take it,
Take me,
- You turn me on,,, - You too,
I thought you'd never come back,
I'm so sorry,
Forgive me,
I'll fuck you, since that's why you like me,
- Want me to fuck you? - Yes, I do,
- I'll give it to you,,, - Give it to me,,,
I'm yours!
I'm yours,,,
I'm yours,
Is that what you want to hear?
- Say it again, - I'm yours,
Harder, Harder,,,
So good!
You could open a restaurant,
What?
Not eating your fruit?
Fruit is for women,
Honestly!
Redneck joke!
You're so fucking beautiful!
I missed you so much,
- Damn, I missed you,,, - Me too,
Look in my bag, I brought you a present,
- A present? - In the entry,
Get going,
Happy birthday in advance,
Thank you, my love,
Try it on so I can take it off,
Do you think I just want sex with you?
No,
Then why'd you say it?
I never said that,
You said it last night,
I was drunk,
Damn, you're beautiful!
You're so beautiful!
Pretty as a porn star,
That's indecent, but I'm flattered,
You know you love being sexy,
Come take a load off!
- "Come sit down," - Words don't matter,
As long as we're happy together,
True love, according to Vladimir Jankélévitch,
is irrational,
We love because we love,
Love is the sole source of love,
It strikes us like an illness,
On the other hand, according to bell hooks,
love is an action, not a feeling,
We don't submit to it, We choose to love,
- You're looking mighty fine, - Thanks,
Easy on the makeup,
You don't need it,
Did you buy wine?
Yes, boss,
They don't like heavy wines,
We're getting old,
My sommelier friends might be there,
we have to make an effort,
They have different criteria, a high bar,
I don't know wine,
You can tell me if I picked a shitty bottle,
This one, I love you as you are,
How's it going?
How've you been?
Hi,
- How are you? - Good,
Oh, excellent choice!
Are you going to Louis' party?
Louis? No,
I didn't know it was tonight,
He didn't invite me this year, He's more your friend than mine,
We're going to,,,
- My place? - No!
Françoise!
I forget even friends' names now!
For my birthday,
Right, I meant to call yesterday,
I haven't seen Phil and Françoise
since that famous dinner when,,,
I forget when,
Say hi for me,
Sorry, I yawn,,,
to release a crick in my back, Nothing else works!
Well, happy birthday!
Yeah, happy birthday,
You too! I mean,,,
So, bye,
Bye,
Are you ok?
Yes,
Bubbles?
- Your shirt! - Whazzit,,, what, a stain?
Happy birthday!
I want to hug Sophia!
She loves everyone but me!
- Sylvain, - Nice to meet you,
Françoise,
Where's Philippe?
Trying to repair the toilet, it won't flush,
Handle, ball?
All that,
- I'll fix it, - Seriously?
Philippe's manual intelligence is lacking,
- How was the drive? - Great,
Thanks for the wine,
It's natural, apparently,
Meet Stéphane,
- Sylvain! - Sorry! Should be simple,
Simple as hello!
Hello, man,
- "Man"? - Françoise!
I'll take a look, pal,
- I ran into Xavier, - When?
With your French friend,
- She's not my friend, - They're together,
I didn't know,
You answered too fast,
I knew and I didn't,
She's so beautiful, so classy, Don't you think?
She doesn't have your mind,
She smells gorgeous, like jasmine,
She has a hybrid job, graphic designer,
It's not real art,
- Sylvain's gorgeous, - You think?
But his shirt is hideous!
Who cares?
I'll rip it off him, he's so sexy!
No one, of course!
Don't I know it!
I'm a 42-year old gay who's gone chubby,
- Who else came? - Your brother, with a girl,
I forget her name,
Hello!
- Happy birthday, - Thanks,
Hello,
I'm Sophia, Olivier's big sister, And you?
Camélia,
Cool, thanks for coming,
Where is he?
- Where's Whazzit? - Stop!
I fixed the toilet, it was nothing,
Hi! I'm Olivier, her brother,
Right! Sylvain,
- Camélia, - Come again?
As in Lady of the Camellias,
- Lady of what? - It's a novel,
Oh, Don't know it,
Let's us dudes do a shot to get acquainted,
as future brothers-in-law!
- Sounds great, - Follow me,
- Happy birthday, - Thanks,
Is that,,,
- the year you were born? - No,
It's not glue, it's more like Jell-O,
People can approach the object,
put their fingers
in the outer holes and pull it apart,
The piece is gradually destroyed
by human intervention,
It's about our relationship with nature,
climate change,,,
I'm obsessed with that right now,
It's fascinating, but terrifying,
My shrink says eco-anxiety
is pushing me to fail,
as a way of joining the collective suicide,
Like when you spent 150 bucks online last night?
- I don't speak English, - Three quarter tones,
Such mathematical music,
All those ninth intervals,
The orchestration is sick!
Three quarter tones!
Who is it?
- What? - The music,
Fayza Ahmed, an Arabian singer,
My mechanic, Jojo, is Arab, Algerian,
But he's got such a big heart!
So complex compared to standard musical structure,
One thing about Arabs I don't get,
I get along great with them, they're nice,
Always smiling, always cheerful,
But people don't like them,
They think they're aggressive, But this music is joyful!
A few bad apples don't spoil the whole bushel,
Good ones, bad ones, like everywhere,
Granted, when you kill innocents,,,
Commit terrorism for religion,,,
I'm against the death penalty, but sometimes,,,
Then you're for it,
No, he's saying don't stigmatize,
But when you say "but sometimes,,,"
I don't know,,,
Do you think the death penalty is sometimes justified?
I suppose it is, no?
No?
I don't know, Never, really?
What if someone killed your child?
What's this mean?
He wants to sleep with you,
Ok, cool,
What? We're polyamorous,
She sleeps with other guys?
- I'm "they", - If it were me,
I'd fuck up anyone who sniffed around her,
"Them",,,
Getting heated!
If that's your trip, fine,
I don't particularly want to "fuck anyone up",
Showtime!
I just figure in 10 years, we'll be done fucking,
Might as well do it now,
- Why in 10 years? - War with China,
World War Three,
Sex is extremely banal,
And you want my body!
Ok, that's enough,
- Bedtime! - I'm not done yet, stop!
It turns out the majority of dictators,
in any case, the autocrats,,,
- May I interrupt? - Of course,
- Are you ok? - Yes,
This is your real present,
I have wet gloves,,,
- What is it? - A trip,
- Where? - Travel is life,
I'd love to travel more, With kids, it's too expensive,
You have to go on vacation with normal people,
- Pure hell, - I hate normal people,
We've become asshole normal people!
I want to pack it all in and move to New York,
- Nice for me, - You get my point,
I want to pack it all in, too,
Sylvain gave Sophia a trip,
Where?
That's our question, Listen!
I listen better than you!
What? You think you listen?
Happy?
It's so generous, Thanks,
You're nuts,
I got you wet!
Go to the gym, relax!
Where's the trip to?
Who's up for molly? We can microdose it,
Where to?
Dominican Republic,
I'd never go there,
- Where? - Dominican Republic,
What?
- Where? - Dominican Republic,
Sylvain's gift to Sophia,
A package trip, or adventure?
We can change the destination,
I just want to see the sea with you,
I think it's exchangeable,
No come-down,
My first airplane trip, Hope I don't die!
Statistically, it's safer,,,
Before I crash in a plane, I have important business,,,
A romantic kneel!
Whoa!
I want to travel with my future wife,
Damn tight jeans!
Sophia,,,
wanna be my wife?
Shit, wait for me!
Don't answer yet, Sophia!
Olivier, stop!
Stop filming!
Your engagement is important!
The world is falling apart, and we film every banality,
We don't have to film everything,
We don't need to know what people eat at restaurants,
Makes me anxious,
Not you?
A little,
Did she have a nightmare?
Maybe,
Life had no less meaning before all this,
Nor did it have more,
I saw a video of a girl on a toilet,
And then,
a long video of a girl crying,
ugly crying,
It was sick,
Gisèle puked, Go handle it, Phil!
- Don't shout, - That wasn't a shout,
It was a firm command, The only kind you understand,
That, and atonal music,
I'll ask again, nicely:
Go handle it,
In any case,,,
What'd I miss?
Are you ok to drive?
It can just be a ring,
- We don't have to get married, - Sure we do,
We're getting married,
End of story,
It's just that I was surprised,
I never wanted to marry, it was never my dream,
But if you want to, so do I,
- We can keep it small, - Yes,
We don't need anyone,
All I know is we love each other,
Yes, we do,
Your heart is in the right place,
My heart's in the same place as everyone else's,
I have to stop for gas,