- Hello? - Hello
Is Cristina there?
No, she's not available May I take a message?
Sorry, I'm a friend of hers from group,,, Oh, shit
From her shit?
Look, just tell her I'm from group I'm Charlie She's got my number
She goes to your group?
I shouldn't have,,,
Just tell her that Charlie called
I will do exactly that, Charlie,
once you tell me what kind of group we're talking about
Is it AA? NA?
You sound exactly like she describes you
She talks about me in group?
I don't think I can really talk about that
What does she say about me?
She loves you very much
What does she love about me?
She loves that you're creative
You love art and TV and movies
Lots of people love movies
Yeah, but she says you love scary movies
and that you guys have that in common
She's proud of making a fan out of you
- She is? - Yeah
She told me the other day, she wonders,,,
what's your favorite scary movie?
The Babadook It's an amazing meditation on motherhood and grief
Isn't that a little fancy pants?
Well, it's elevated horror
Uh-huh What does that mean, "Elevated horror"?
It's scary but with complex emotional and thematic underpinnings
It's not just some schlocky, cheeseball nonsense with wall-to-wall jump scares
Sounds kind of boring to me
Have you ever seen Stab?
Once, I think
At a sleepover when I was, like, 12
You live in Woodsboro and you don't know Stab?
Your mother loves that movie She talks about it all the time in group
How well do you remember the original?
I don't know I mean, it was super '90s
It was really over-lit and everyone had weird hair
Do you remember the beginning?
Not really
It started with a kill scene, right? They always started with a kill scene
Yeah, that's right That's right
It's a girl at home, alone
She answers a wrong number and starts talking with the killer
who makes her play a game
Would you like to play a game,,,
Tara?
Systems armed
This isn't fucking funny, Amber
I told you, this isn't Amber
Amber's looking particularly fetching tonight
She really shouldn't leave her phone lying around for anyone to clone
What do you want?
I told you, I want to play a game
Stab movie trivia, three rounds
You call the cops, she dies You get a question wrong, she dies
Her parents aren't home I can be in that room in 15 seconds
You want a warmup question?
I told you I don't know these movies!
Ask me about something I do know
Ask me about It Follows Ask me about Hereditary
Ask me about The Witch
In the first Stab movie,
what Woodsboro native was introduced as the franchise's main character?
It's Sidney Prescott!
It's Sidney Prescott and she lived on Elm
Correct You see, you're gonna do great at this
Okay, question one,,,
No, I got that one right It should count
Anyone could have gotten that one right Sidney's in every movie but the last one
Question one:
Who wrote the original book that the Stab movies are based on?
The chick from TV!
"The chick from TV" is not gonna cut it, Tara
Gale Weathers!
It is Gale Weathers, you motherfucker!
Correct Amber might live to see the sunrise
Question two: Who played the dumb bitch at the beginning of Stab 1
who answers the phone and gets carved up by the killer?
Fuck you
Is that the answer you're going with?
A non-answer counts as a wrong answer, Tara
Time's running out
Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock,,,
Heather Graham!
Correct! You pulled that one out
Now for the final question:
Who was the killer in Stab 1?
I know this one, you fuck
It's Billy Loomis!
He was Sidney's boyfriend, and he was played by Luke Wilson,
and I got you, asshole!
I got it! I got it right!
Oh, I'm sorry, Tara, but that's just not correct
What?
No, no, it is It is That is right
The correct answer is Billy Loomis and Stu Macher
There are two killers in the original Stab
I'm afraid someone's got to die now
No, no, no Amber, I'm coming
Fuck, fuck, fuck
Systems armed
The police are on their way, asshole!
All systems disarmed
Systems armed
-All systems disarmed -Oh, my God No
Systems armed
All systems disarmed Systems armed
All systems disarmed
Systems armed
Hello?
Bonus question, Tara
Please stop
Do you think I made it inside your house before you could rearm?
Help!
Excuse me, miss?
- What'd you just take? - Your boner pills
Good luck getting it up now
You,,,
You are my boner pills
No No
You okay?
Yes
You don't have to check on me all the time I'm not breakable
Yeah, this I know
Shit
- Sam? - Hey What's going on?
Tara,,, was attacked
What? Is she,,,
She's alive, but in bad shape
She was,,,
stabbed
Stabbed? What the fuck?
She made it through surgery and the doctor said it went well
She's resting now
I know you guys aren't on the best terms, but,,,
I'm on my way
She's gonna be okay, Sam We'll see you soon
Hey, wait, Wes!
Yeah?
Do they know who did this?
It's probably better if you just come here
Wes
She said it was someone in a fucking Ghostface mask
My sister was attacked
I gotta go
Wait, hey! I'm going with you
No, Richie,,,
No, Sam I'm coming with you
-Okay -Okay Yeah
Attention, Panthers A reminder that all classes and school activities
are canceled tomorrow due to public safety concerns
That was Sam
- She's coming? - Yeah
Watch everything get worse
Listen, all I'm saying is, with everything going on right now,
I think it's time we take our relationship to the next, most intimate level
He wants me to accept his Find My Fam request
It's the smartest option with a would-be killer on the loose
You know exactly where I am and I know exactly where you are
Aw, you can stalk me like a jealous boyfriend
And you can stalk me like a jealous boyfriend
Is this because you two aren't having sex yet?
You actually bring up a very good point Not that I want to sound
like a stereotypical jock trying to get into his girlfriend's pants
Great!
Don't do it, Liv There's a psycho out there
You make yourself harder to find
Delete social media, tape over your phone camera, disable GPS
Yes, thank you very much, Edward Snowden
Actually, your mother just interrogated me about Tara's attempted murder,
which was very fun
I'm sure she's asking everybody I mean, Ghostface is back
The press still isn't saying Ghostface
My mom doesn't want to cause a panic
It'll get out by the second or third killing
Jesus, Mindy, there wasn't a first killing Tara's alive
That means she could still die
- What the fuck? - Or the killer could come back for her
Fuck! Mindy, come on
I'm just telling you, arm up, okay? Pepper spray, check Taser, check
Girlfriend repellent, check
Nice Thank you
Oh, shit Is that,,, Vince?
Wait The creep you hooked up with last summer?
Yeah, he worked with me and Tara
He worked with Tara?
He's been stalking my Instagram the last couple weeks,
posting the creepiest shit
Probably time to introduce him to Hobbs and Shaw
Maybe not the best idea to incite violence right in front of the sheriff
Looks like he's leaving
Thanks anyway, boys
Tara says she fought back hard You've got bruises
From football practice
Oh, sure
Tara's awake She just texted
I'm going to the hospital You guys coming?
-Yeah -Yeah
I can't, but I'll meet you guys later
All right
I've actually never seen Stab
You've never seen Stab?
Not even the one that came out last year?
I've never seen Gone With the Wind either,
but I don't consider it like a huge hole in my cinematic education
Most of the Stab movies are based on things that happened here
Define "things"
Things like,,,
a guy named Billy Loomis and his friend carved up a bunch of high-school kids
while wearing this Halloween ghost mask
You mean like in Halloween?
No Not like in Halloween
-Sounds a lot like Halloween -All right, it's a little like Halloween
And every decade or so, some idiot gets the bright idea
to put on the mask, kill his friends, and get famous, too
The last time it happened was in 2011
And we came here voluntarily?
Well, I got to make sure Tara's okay
Yes, of course
And I got to make sure we don't get sliced up by some lunatic
who saw Friday the 13th and thought, "You know what?
That Jason guy, he's got some pretty solid ideas"
Can I just ask you one question, though?
Yeah
Do you have any idea why
someone wearing that mask would want to kill your sister?
No
How are you feeling?
You came
Of course I came
This is my boyfriend, Richie
It's so nice to meet you I'm so sorry if I'm intruding
Nice to meet you, too
Hi
-Thank you for calling -Of course
Look at your hair! I like it
These are Chad and Mindy, the twins And Wes
I used to babysit them all
Which is always how I like to be introduced
And Amber Hey
Hi Nice to see you
-Hi I'm Richie -Hi
- Where's Mom? - She's stuck at a conference in London
She called me earlier
Yeah, for all of ten minutes
Look, guys, Tara's really tired Maybe we should just give her some space
-Yeah -Yeah
Not you, Sam
I want you to stay
Okay
-But the rest -Yeah
If it's okay with you, I could sleep here tonight
I'd really like that
Okay
- Do you have your extra inhaler? - Yeah, I'll be fine
Okay
Honey? Okay, I'll just be right outside
Thank you
Bye
Sam, I was so scared
I know
It's okay
So what is she like, the sister?
Sam? Sam is so cool
You only say that because she let you wear Pokemon onesies to bed for a year
That's true That's a true statement
No, trust me, Sam is not cool
Her dad left her mom Walks right out when Tara's eight, Sam's 13
Sam started acting out, getting in trouble with the cops
And then, on Sam's 18th birthday, she leaves
Ghosts them all
Maybe Sam's changed I just don't want to see Tara hurt again
So what, you're protecting Tara from her own sister now?
Well, someone has to
Okay, so no guys are good enough for her and now her family's off-limits, too?
Mm, motive
"If I can't have her, no one can"
- What? - We all know you have a crush on Tara
Okay Come on, Mindy
But we're all suspects
Except maybe Liv
-Thank you -You're way too boring to be a psycho
Yo, Liv You want a real drink?
Or are you happy sitting at this kids' table?
Listen up, Uglier Michael Myers, it was a summer fling It meant nothing
- Was I talking to you? - I don't care who you're talking to
-Liv, let's go -Don't talk to her!
-I don't want to hear your voice -Shut your mouth
Better shut the fuck up
Get out of here or I'm calling the cops
Go!
-I'll see you soon, sweetheart -Hey, man, fuck you
You kids, too! Let's go!
Did you see that shit?
Fuck this bar, man
Fuck you
Fuck it!
What the fuck?
Is that you, pretty boy? Huh?
Get out of my fucking car!
Hey
- You okay? - Yeah
Just a bad dream
What are you watching?
Stab is on Netflix
What? I want to be prepared
I got to go find something to eat
Yeah, okay
How you doing, Sam?
Antipsychotics aren't working as well as they used to, are they?
Fuck you
You can't run from who you are, Sam
I'm just trying to help
Hey, when are you gonna tell her why all this is happening?
Hello
Hello, Samantha
Who is this?
Someone who knows your little family secret
You're the fuck who hurt my sister?
She's not the only one I'm gonna hurt
I had to get you to come back here somehow, didn't I?
You want to fuck with me, asshole?
I'm right here Come and get me
With pleasure
Help!
Help! Help!
Somebody help me, he's trying to kill me!
What's going on? You're okay
Somebody tried to kill me in the break room!
I've got a body outside a bar on Main, and then you get attacked here
You said the call came from Amber's number?
So? We know he called on my phone before when he attacked Tara
Or, and I'm just spit-balling here,,, you're the killer
And where were you when all this happened?
I was,,, watching Netflix
-Ooh, yeah Super-solid alibi, bro -So where were you?
I was questioning Amber and her friends at the sheriff's station
Yeah, I came as soon as I heard
But, you know, the Netflix alibi is good, too
Both of you, stop it
You're gonna put more cops on her room, right?
Yes
And I can move you to a private floor
Deputy Vinson knows what he's doing, you'll be safe
Like we've been so far?
Samantha, let's step outside
Nice to see you, Deputy Hicks
-So many fun memories -It's "Sheriff" Hicks
I remember you, too,,,
and all the trouble you used to cause your family
Your presence here is not helping
So maybe when the sun comes up,
you and your boyfriend can hit the road
and leave it to people who actually care about this community
Well, she remains a delight
Are you okay?
Would you mind giving us a second? I need to talk to Tara
Come on, Netflix, let's go
Do you remember when Dad left?
Parts, sure
I was eight What does that have to do with anything?
It has to do with it
Do you remember how,,,
Mom used to keep those boxes up in the attic?
Well, I was up there once,,,
When I was 13, looking for Christmas presents
And I found these old diaries that she kept from high school
- Sam, what is,,, - Please
I have to do this
So I found these old diaries
And I knew it was wrong, but I read some anyway
because Mom got pregnant with me in high school,
and I thought it could be cool to find out how she and Dad got together
How romantic it must have been
So I read some
Only it wasn't romantic
Mom was dating Dad, but,,,
she was in love with this other guy,,,
and he got her pregnant
She told Dad it was his, and that's why he proposed senior year
Sam, what are you talking about?
And I'm sitting there, in this attic,,,
and I'm 13,,,
and I just found out my dad isn't my dad
So I go find Mom in her bedroom, and I'm screaming at her
and shoving this diary in her face,
and I didn't even realize,,,
that Dad was standing right behind me
He didn't know
He found out right then from me
He left that night
I'm the reason he left
No
No, Sam,,,
Mom never forgave me
Then she made me promise never to tell you because you were so young
And that's why I changed
and I got distant and weird with you
And I went out and I started doing every drug that I could get my hands on
until I couldn't take it anymore and I left town
I just couldn't be around you anymore, Tara
Not only because I destroyed our family that night, but because,,,
those diaries told me who my real father was
It was Billy Loomis
And somebody knows, and I think that's why you got hurt
And I'm so fucking sorry that I never told you and then I ran away
-I'm so sorry -Get out
Tara
You're gone for five years,,,
Five whole years
And then I get stabbed and you want to come back
and drop all this shit on me?
I thought I was protecting you
Protecting me from what?
The truth?
-No No, I,,, Please, Tara -Sam
-Sam, I need you to get the fuck out -I'm so sorry
-Sam -Please
Get the fuck out!
Hey, hey, hey It's okay, it's me
Were you listening at the door?
No, no, of course not
Okay, yeah, I was listening at the door
It doesn't freak you out,,,
that my real father was a serial killer?
I mean,,,
yeah
A great deal, yeah
Okay, well, then go I get it
I just got to stay and figure it out
I'm not leaving you here, Sam
You know that part in horror movies
where you want to yell at the characters to be smart and get the fuck out?
This is that part, Richie
You should get the fuck out
But I'm staying
I love you
-You're such a dumbass -I'm such a dumbass
So,,,
your sister won't talk to you
The police aren't gonna help
What's our next move?
We go talk to an expert
,,,a few temperatures here Tuesday, Wednesday in the mid-50s,
and then finally we'll see those mid-60s returning into next week
And just one night after a local teen was attacked in her home
by an assailant in a Ghostface costume,
Sheriff Judy Hicks has now confirmed
two more late-night attacks that have left Woodsboro reeling
The first victim, Vincent Schneider, was found dead
behind the Corner Pocket Pool Hall
A second victim, as yet unnamed, was attacked
inside Woodsboro General Hospital,
but she escaped without injuries
Needless to say, Woodsboro is on high alert today,,,
Live from Studio 1-A in Rockefeller Plaza,,,
Good morning I'm Gale Weathers
Before we dive in, I want to tell you a little story
that happened on the way to the studio this morning
I stopped to get a bacon, egg and cheese at a bodega,
already a quintessentially New York,,,
Go away!
Sorry to bother you, Mr Riley!
We just want to ask you a few questions
I don't give interviews
We're not looking for an interview
Give me one good reason why I should talk to you
I'm Billy Loomis's daughter
That's a terrible reason for me to talk to you
My name is Samantha Carpenter
I was attacked last night at the hospital
The night before that, my sister was stabbed seven times
I know you know what that's like
I'm just trying to protect my family
Five minutes That's all I'm asking
I'll give you two minutes
I'm missing a show I like
If I ever threaten to get bangs, stage an intervention
Gale Weathers
-Weren't you two,,, -Yeah
Who's he?
This is Richie, my boyfriend
How long have you known him?
Six months?
Did he know who your dad was when you met?
Express any interest in Woodsboro or the Ghostface killings?
What the hell are you talking about?
Your killer's obsessed with the Stab movies, right?
Well, there are certain rules to surviving a Stab movie
Believe me, I know
Rule number one:
Never trust the love interest
They seem sweet, caring, supportive
Then welcome to act 3, where they're trying to rip your head off
I was with Sam in Modesto when Tara was attacked
And let me guess, you were just in the other room,
conveniently unaccounted for when she was attacked at the hospital
Do I have to take this from shitty Sam Elliott over here, or what?
Rule number two:
The killer's motive is always connected to something in the past
I'm related to Billy
Right, but then why kill that random Vince guy?
That's for you to figure out
And rule number three, and this is the most important rule:
The first victim always has a friend group that the killer is a part of
Does your sister have a close-knit group of friends?
Yeah
She does
Then look for the killer there
If you can find out why they're doing this,
you can figure out who's next
So help us
Help us figure out who is behind this
You kidding me? I've been stabbed nine times
I've got permanent nerve damage and a fun little limp
You think I want to do that again?
You just said it always goes back to the past, right?
So if I'm in danger,,,
that means you're in danger
Come on
Let's do this together
Your time's up
Jesus!
Yeah, he's way more fun in the movies
Okay, what's next?
The friends
Thanks so much for that, Kevin
Coming up after our local weather,
the pros and cons of reuniting with old friends
Hello?
Hey, Sid, it's me
Dewey?
Oh, my God How long has it been?
I'm just trying to get a run in before I take the girls to school
How are you?
I'm good, really good
How are you? How's Mark?
I think I'll keep him
How are things in the sheriff's business?
They're,,,
- They're fine But, Sid,,, - Have you talked to Gale lately?
No Not in a couple years
I know things didn't end well with you guys, but,,,
Sid,,,
it's happening again
What are you talking about?
Some idiot in a Ghostface mask
Three attacks so far One dead
Something about this one just feels different
Are you okay?
I'm fine, you know me
Yeah
I do That's why I'm asking
I'm fine
I just,,,
want you to be safe up there Do you have a gun?
I'm Sidney fucking Prescott Of course I have a gun
Good That's good
Does Gale know?
No, she's my next call
But, Sid, promise me:
No matter what you hear or what you see on the news, don't come here
No offense, Dewey I have no intention of ever setting foot in that town again
Good
Dewey,,,
whoever this killer's after, I'm glad they have you to protect them
You be safe, okay?
Will do
It's good to hear your voice
You, too, Sid
Come on Get it together, Dewey
Probably shouldn't have sent the smiley face
Holy shit He came
I've decided to temporarily assist you in your investigation
Thank you
Look, just because that guy showered doesn't mean he should have a gun
How do you know so much about Stab?
Runs in her family
Randy was our uncle
RIP
You said to bring everybody
Woo, suspects!
My brother would be so proud
Hey, Martha
Dewey! Hi!
You look,,,
Yeah
- How's the wife? - Okay, Mom, we're good Thank you
All right, kids, have fun
I asked Mindy to call everybody here, because,,,
there's something I have to tell you
So let me get this straight
You're saying that you're the daughter of Billy Loomis,
and, what, that one of us is the killer?
The killer told me he knew my secret
He attacked Tara to lure me back here
But then why immediately go and murder some douche-nozzle that was stalking Liv?
And why does it have to be one of us?
What about Deputy Dewey here? Maybe he's the killer
No offense
None taken, but what's my motive?
You got stabbed a billion times,
got dumped by your famous wife and crawled into a bottle
I think it's safe to say you're on the suspect list
Well, maybe you're the killer
Because that cut deep
That douche-nozzle is connected
I googled him His mom is Leslie Macher
-Stu Macher's sister -Who's Stu Macher?
He's Billy Loomis's accomplice
A real loony tune
Okay Okay
So the first three attacks are all on people related to the original killers
Oh, my God He's making a requel!
A what?
Or a legacyquel Fans are torn on the terminology
God Please speak English
Remember the Stab movie that came out last year?
Oh, yeah! The one the Knives Out guy directed, right?
I actually really liked that one
Of course you did You have terrible taste
I hate you
The point is, the hard-core Stab fans hated it
You go on 4chan and Dreadit,
all they're talking about is how Stab 8 pissed on their childhoods
How they crammed in social commentary just to elevate it
How the main character's a Mary Sue
- What's a Mary Sue? - You really don't want to know
What's wrong with elevated horror?
I mean, Jordan Peele fucking rules
Obviously, but that's not Stab
Real Stab movies are meta slasher whodunits, full stop
-Come on, it's just a movie -No, it's not
To some people, the original is their favorite thing in the world
The movie that made them love horror
That Mom or Dad showed them when they were ten that bonded them together
And God help anyone who slightly fucks with that special memory
Who makes a movie they think disrespects it
It sounds like our killer is writing his own version of Stab 8,
but doing it as a requel
Which is?
See, you can't just reboot a franchise from scratch anymore
The fans won't stand for it
Black Christmas, Child's Play, Flatliners,,,
that shit doesn't work
But you can't just do a straight sequel, either
You got to build something new
But not too new, or the Internet goes bug-fucking nuts
It has to be part of an ongoing story line,
even if the story shouldn't have been ongoing in the first place
New main characters, yes,
but supported by and related to legacy characters
Not quite a reboot, not quite a sequel
Like the new Halloween, Saw, Terminator, Jurassic Park, Ghostbusters,,,
fuck, even Star Wars!
It always, always goes back to the original!
Are you telling me that I'm caught in the middle of fan-fucking-fiction?
Not just in the middle, Sam
You're the star
So, not to put too fine a point on it,
but, according to requel rules,,,
who's next?
Going by the pattern,
whoever it is has to be connected to someone that came before
I'm starting to regret coming here
Jesus, my mom was a character in one of them
No one cares about the shitty inferior sequels, Wes You're safe
With Randy as our uncle, though, you and I are probably screwed
Wait What?
Or you're the killer,
and this whole elaborate monologue is just to cover your tracks
I think it's pretty clear who the killer is at this point
Who?
You
It makes perfect requel sense
-That actually does make a lot of sense -Yeah
Fuck this
-Meet you back at the motel -Sam, wait
Sam, wait
The first fucking rule of these movies is don't split up!
The nerve of that girl, right?
I'm really not in the mood right now
Sam, Sam, Sam
There is a killer on the loose
He's threatening you He's threatening your sister
Are you gonna run away from who you are like you always do,
or are you gonna use it?
I'm not like you
Really?
And how else are you gonna survive?
I say accept who you are,
let's get out there, find out who's doing this,
and cut some fucking throats!
No!
And extra edamame Please
Thank you I'll be there in ten minutes
Bye
That you, tiger?
Jesus!
Are you being safe out there, honey?
To the point that all my friends mock me, yes
Good boy
- What's for dinner? - Sushi I was just leaving to pick it up
Why don't you just Postmates it?
It gets all smooshy by the time it's here
I know you hate that
Go take a shower I'll be back soon
- Can you put this away for me? - Yes
-Love you -Love you
-Lock the door -I will
-Sheriff Hicks -Hello, Sheriff Judy
- Who is this? - I think you know
I'm a fan of scary movies And knives
What's your favorite scary movie?
I prefer animated films and musicals
Why are you doing this?
I'll tell you all about it I'm calling to turn myself in
I think that's a great idea
We'll sit down at the station, and I'll tell you about the two people I've killed
You've only killed one person
By the time I see you, I'll have gutted your baby boy
Fuck you!
Pick up, Wes!
This is Sheriff Hicks I need units to converge on my house ASAP
Copy that We're on it
Can't get him on the phone, can you?
He must be busy
How do I know you're anywhere near him?
Ever seen the movie Psycho?
Please,,,
don't hurt my boy
Why not?
-He's a good kid -Is he, now?
He never hurt anyone
That's not enough
Please! I'll do anything!
You're not gonna make it in time, Sheriff Judy
Wes!
I'm coming!
Wes!
Help!
Okay
Mom?
Fuck,,, you!
Miss, you can't be here You can't be here
No, I'm sorry I know her son
-Her son, Wes Is he,,, -I'm sorry
I'm sorry
Excuse me
Oh, my God
You're,,,
Well, you're you
Last time I checked
Are you okay? You seem like you're having a bit of a moment
Did you know the sheriff?
Sort of
She didn't like me very much
She didn't like me either
I'm Samantha Sam Carpenter
My sister and I were attacked
Sorry to hear that
I'm Gale,,,
Riley
Weathers I'm Gale Weathers Excuse me
- Gale? - A text?
You tell me the killer is back in a text?
-Ow, that hurts -Good!
-You were on the air -How do you know?
A hunch
You look good Are you still writing?
No time
You were always happiest when you were writing
Well, sir, it's okay We're here with Gale
I'd give you a hand, but I can't release anybody right now
Couldn't resist a good story, could you?
Don't be an idiot, Dewey I'm here because I was worried about you
Okay, yes My producers wanted me to cover this, for obvious reasons,
but 90% is because of you
Well, I feel 90% better
Don't be so sensitive
Since when did you care about my feelings? Especially not in the last couple years
All right, listen Let's not pretend I'm the one who ended things
No one's pretending, Gale I remember what happened
Why aren't you in uniform?
I retired
Since when?
Since they asked me to
Dewey
I don't need your pity, Gale
I made my choices So did you
It was my turn It was a great opportunity
-You said you'd try -And I did
For two whole months!
Listen, if you want to make me feel worse than I already do, good luck
The mornings aren't so bad, because I get to see you
Pretend I'm still back there in New York
But then I remember,,,
that I couldn't hack it I left in the middle of the night,,,
like a coward
Why wouldn't you tell me that then?
It would have mattered
You are a lot of things, Dewey,,,
but you are not a coward
You just,,,
You just were meant to be in Woodsboro
And you weren't?
Promise me you'll leave as soon as you can
You know I can't promise that
I'm sorry about Judy
Yeah, me too
But she'll make a great chapter in your next book
And don't even get me started on Ghostface's signature new weapon
That shit is lit
And can we talk about the title? Stab? What, just like the original?
Just call it Stab 8 It's fucking Stab 8 You're not fooling anyone
It's such bullshit
- Where have you been? Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm fine
You know, that Mindy girl wasn't kidding Stab 8 is not like the others
I mean, no connection to the other movies No legacy characters at all
This franchise goes off the rails with number five
Richie, listen to me He killed two more people Wes and his mother
He killed the sheriff? You can do that?
I mean, are you okay? Where are you?
-I'll call you right back -No, Sam,,,
We should be out looking for him
Who's at the hospital?
Who's watching my sister?
I just heard about the sheriff
They needed me here!
- Where are you going? - My sister's in trouble!
,,,where Judy Hicks has just been brutally murdered
What are you waiting for?
Drive!
Come on Let's go!
Hello?
Fuck this
Fuck!
Goddamn it!
Should you be making a phone call right now?
Please, please
Stop!
You know we have to live through this to help her, right?
Just hold on
Holy shit
Goddamn it!
Richie?
What are you doing here?
Sam called She said that,,,
you were in trouble
- Did you hit me with the phone? - Look out!
Richie!
- Are you at the hospital? - Hello, Samantha
No
Richie can't come to the phone right now
He's finding out what happens to people
who stick their noses in business that doesn't concern them
-Please don't hurt him -I'll tell you what You can choose
I'll only kill one
What? Tara!
Who do you want to hear die?
No, please I'm begging you Please don't hurt them
Really? You can't save your own sister?
All you have to do is say, "Kill Richie"
No! No!
No! Tara! Don't touch her
Please, please, please, I'm begging you
Or say, "Kill Tara,"
and I'll make sure to hit all the organs I missed last time
Fuck you!
I'm begging you Please don't hurt her
Last chance to save one
Choose
Why are you doing this?
You want to know why, Sam?
Maybe it's because you're a selfish bitch
who can't even make a decision to save the life of someone you love
Maybe you're too weak for this franchise
Maybe you're right
Or maybe I'm just stalling for time, fuckhead
I'll get Richie
Tara!
Come on, Richie
It's okay I got you
It's gonna be all right
Get the elevator!
Not today
Richie
Let's get out of here
Come on, hurry up
-The head -What?
You have to shoot 'em in the head, or they always come back
Dewey! Who gives a fuck?
-I do -No! Dewey!
Yes, today
It's an honor
No!
I'm sorry
I didn't know him well, but,,,
he helped me
That's what he did
He helped people
I should've stopped him
If you had, my sister would be dead
Samantha, your sister's awake
Gale
Sidney
I came as soon as I heard
I'm so sorry
You shouldn't be here
You shouldn't be here either
- Mark and the kids are okay? - Yeah, they're safe for now
I'm here to make sure of that
Come here
How you feeling?
Every time I get attacked, they give me better painkillers
So there's that
I'm sorry
For what? You saved my life
For not telling you sooner
For being the reason Dad left
You're not the reason Dad left
You didn't choose where you came from Or who you came from
I don't blame you for that
I blame you for leaving me too
That's never gonna happen again
I know
But why didn't you come to me back then?
I could've helped
Because,,,
I was scared
Of what?
I was scared that I would turn out just like him
So I ran
To protect you
-From me -Sam,,,
you could never be like him
-You're so high right now -I'm so high right now
I'm not even gonna lie
I love you
I love you too
So what do we do now?
What nobody ever does in these situations
We're gonna get the fuck out of Woodsboro
- That's her? - Yeah
Samantha?
It's Sam
- I'm,,, - I know who you are
I hope you're okay
- Listen, I'm sorry,,, - You're Billy's daughter
We'll bring the car around
Yeah I'm his daughter
I'm sorry if that's weird for you
No, no, it's,,,
I've been through this A lot
You want to talk?
I appreciate it
And I'm,,,
I'm really sorry about Dewey
But I'm taking my sister away from all this
I tried running too It doesn't work, it always follows
All due respect, that's your life, not mine
-I'm not so sure about that -What do you want from me, lady?
Hey! Watch your tone, new girl
You know how they always say it goes back to the original?
Here's the original
I want your help
Because you're wrong, this is your life now
Which means whoever this is will keep coming for you
- So? - So I want you to help us kill him
You want me to help you and the host of a morning show commit murder?
-Correct -Yeah
And I'm what in this scenario?
The bait? The helpless victim?
-If the shoe fits,,, -You're not helpless, Sam
He killed your friend, he killed ours
And I have kids, which means I won't sleep until he's in the ground
Look, I'm sorry about what this has done to your lives
But no matter what you or the killer or anyone says,
this isn't my story
All right! Let's get the fuck out of town, huh?
Sorry That's my boyfriend, Richie
Nice to meet,,, We met
Sam, please get in the car so we never have to see these people again
- Sam,,, - No We're leaving
That's the only way I can protect Tara
Okay, good luck
You too
Well, that went fucking horribly
Don't worry, I have a plan She seems really tough
Honestly, Sid, who gives a shit?
You said it yourself, he's gonna go after her
I put a tracker on her car
You did what?
It seemed like something Gale Weathers would do
Take that as a compliment
I left a message for Mom I told her where we're going
You good back there?
Fuck, where is it?
Where's what?
My inhaler I usually keep an extra one
Should we go back?
Whoa Okay I vote for not going back to the murder hospital
- You want to stop at a pharmacy? - I'd need a prescription
But I left an extra one at Amber's Her house is on the way
No,,, no
I'd be in and out
Could you hold out till Modesto?
-I don't think so -Okay, what's the address?
123 No Fucking Way Lane
Richie, she needs it
And I need to keep all the blood inside my body So do you
Richie, please
It's okay
Okay, yeah Fuck What's the goddamn address?
Hey, thanks for coming
Keep pouring, Wheeler Thank you
Hey
To Wes!
Beautiful son of a bitch
We love you, buddy!
Shots, really? This is supposed to be a memorial
Well, this is how I mourn
and distract myself from the looming specter of Death
Hey, we're low on beer
There's more in the basement I'll go get some
What the fuck, Mindy? Jesus!
That was a test And you failed
Never go off on your own with a masked killer around
You're the one that said we needed more beer
And you should have asked me to come with you
You know what else you shouldn't do when there's a masked killer around?
What?
Follow someone into a dark, creepy basement alone
I mean,,,
how do you know I'm not the killer?
Because I am
I'm not, actually
But let that be a lesson Don't trust anyone
Then how can I trust you when you say you're not the killer?
Exactly
You're learning
Now let's go back upstairs
You first
Very good
I think I'm ready
I mean, I think we should
Like now You want to go upstairs?
Like,,, Like upstairs?
Uh-huh Right now
Don't take this the wrong way, but I think I have to pass on that
What?
Why?
You know, I'm not like entirely sure that you're not the,,,
killer
"Don't take this the wrong way"?
No, no, look I'm almost 100% certain that you are not, but,,,
the safest option is to be down here
with all the people,,,
Fuck you
,,,and the potential witnesses
That is a completely valid emotional response to have
-That too -Fucking asshole
Good job
Fuck you, Mindy
If I hadn't have written that book about your mother,
-none of this would've happened -Gale
-I started all of this -No, you didn't
Billy Loomis started this, and we're gonna end it
After tonight, no more books, no more movies, no more fucking Ghostface
- Don't you know the rules? - What rules?
There are specific rules to successfully survive a horror movie
For instance, Number One: You can never have sex
-Don't do it Don't go outside after her -She's not texting me back
Because she's probably dead
Jesus, Mindy That's my girlfriend, and I love her
Was your girlfriend
You're just gonna sit and watch a movie about our uncle getting stabbed?
It calms me down, okay?
I'm also gonna smoke some weed and possibly hook up with Frances
Have fun
Oh, my God, at least take some sort of weapon
Here you go
All right
What?
Liv?
All right Okay, yeah, no
Shit!
Fuck!
Please, please, please
Whoa! Stop! Wait!
Perfect She's having a party
Who has a party in the middle of a killing spree? I'm aborting the plan
No, we're already here I'll go in quickly and get it I'll be back in five
I'm coming too
If you think I'm waiting out here just to get murdered,
you're out of your mind
Tara!
What are you doing out of the hospital? Should you even be up and around?
-I need my spare inhaler -Why? Where are you going?
It's fine, don't tell me I get it Just be safe, okay?
I think it's in my room
All right, everyone! Thanks for coming, but the party's over!
- Time to go! - No!
But it's so early!
Let's go
Hey, hey, hey! Hello! Can we cut the music, please?
Hi,,, Gen Z How are you?
Both Sam and Tara here have been attacked by the killer twice
Now they're here, which makes this place a huge murder target, so,,,
if I were you, I would probably leave
Okay, I tried to be nice Get the fuck out!
Please get the fuck out
-Sincerely, get the fuck out -Buzzkill!
Thank you Thank you all I'm saving your life I promise
Thanks, teens
Thank you so much
Great, thank you for leaving the cup Thank you
Saving your life
I'm saving your life
Saving your life, thank you
And Number Three:
Never, ever, ever, under any circumstances,
say, "I'll be right back"
'Cause you won't be back
Somebody's goofy-ass dad's kicking us out
Goddamn it
Thank you
Thanks, guys, have a good night
-You have my number Bye -Bye
Hi
Is there any beer left? There's none in the kitchen
Yes, Richie, there's beer in the basement
Right behind you Basement
Yeah
Do you want to come with me?
No But you were right to ask
Yeah
Okay, I'll be right back
Yeah Yeah
Well, he's dead
The goddamn fucking Uber canceled on me!
Great Now I can't have sex and I can't get a ride home
Could this night get any shittier?
Liv, where's my brother?
What? I don't know, Mindy Probably off accusing everyone of being the killer!
He actually went looking for you
I didn't see him Okay?
Why are you looking at me like that?
Just revising my suspect list
Fuck this!
Are you afraid of me, Mindy?
You think I did something to your brother? Huh?
You think I'm gonna,,, cut you up?
A little bit now,,, yeah
I thought you said I was too boring to be the killer
Maybe that's the twist
What do you think, huh? You're the expert
You know what eventually happens to the expert?
What?
Enjoy your stupid movie
Fucking psycho
They stopped
- Gas station? - No
-Oh, shit -What?
Oh, shit How far are we?
Too far
Damn it
Tara, we're leaving!
Hello
You need to get out of that house right now
How do you know where I am?
You're in Stu Macher's house, where your dad and Stu killed everyone
Someone planned to get you there You need to get the fuck out, Sam!
No, Jamie Watch out
Watch out, Jamie
You know he's around
- What? - There he is
Come on, man, turn around! Turn around! Dude!
I told you I told you, he's around the corner Jamie
-Look behind you -No, Randy, look behind you
Come on, man, turn around!
Dude, what are you doing? You can do it!
These are your rules! Own that shit
Behind you! Turn around
Look behind,,,
Oh, shit!
That's a lot of blood, Sam
No, Mindy, stay with me
- What did you do to her? - Nothing
No, I didn't do anything
- The killer, he,,, - Is she okay?
What the fuck?
Richie, where the fuck were you?
I went into the basement to get beer
You went to the basement alone?
I asked her to come with me! She said no!
Fuck!
Stay the fuck back
Jesus Christ!
I was with Tara, but the rest of you were wandering around
One of you is the fucking killer!
Fuck you, Amber Fuck you!
- Why is there blood on your hands? - What?
- I found Chad I found Chad and he's,,, - Chad?
-You're fucking lying -No
-You're the killer -No, I'm not
Liv, stop
- Fuck you! - Liv, just stop!
Fuck you, Amber I'm not the fucking killer!
I know
Welcome to Act Three
Run!
Holy shit!
Sam, come on!
Run! Go, go, go! Go!
- Oh, my God,,, Tara! - Wait, no, Sam
She has a gun
There are always two killers
Sam, please put the knife down
Look, I think,,,
-I think the other killer might be Tara -What?
She's the one that brought us here and you two have been estranged for years
I mean,,,
how well do you really know her?
Better than I know you
Sam, wait Sam!
Sounds about right
You ready?
For this? Never
Here we go
Help me, help me! He stabbed me!
- What do you think? - Trap
Fuck it
Ow!
Gale! Gale!
Wait Let me see
-You got to go to the hospital -No
You said we were gonna finish this Go finish it, Sidney
Gale
For Dewey
Anyone hiding, killer or not, you have five seconds to show yourself!
Tara
Oh, my God
Sam
Sam, please
Hello, Sidney!
Hello there Where'd you go?
This isn't Amber I'm the other one
There's two of you Again
I've seen this movie before
Not this movie, Sidney
You really need some new material
I got you here, didn't I?
You might actually be the most derivative one of all
I mean, Christ, the same house?
Maybe so But you forgot the first rule of surviving a Stab movie
- Never answer the,,, - I'm bored
Wait!
Put your hands up! Show me your hands! What are you doing in there?
Hiding from murderers
I told you to come out!
I'm not gonna come out! You're shooting everything!
Holy shit, it's Ghostface!
Richie! Gun Get the gun
Kind of hard since you shot me in the leg
- Yes! Yes! - Shoot him!
Thank God you're okay
'Cause I really,
really wanted to be the one to kill you
Sit the fuck down, Prescott!
I can't believe this worked
I know It's a bummer it's me
But it really was the best choice for the movie
This isn't a fucking movie!
No But it will be
- That's the point, right, Amber? - Right, hon!
Third Act bloodbath, check Killers revealed, check
Time for the big finale!
Richie,,,
Okay Okay
Let's get 'em into the kitchen
Let's go, bitch!
Someone has to save the franchise
You see, no one has made a great Stab movie since the first one
Not really
Hey, baby, you want to go get the very ex-Mrs Riley?
Yeah, I do
Hey, hey!
Whoa,,, whoa
Sidney Prescott
You know,,,
I'm a really big fan
Go fuck yourself
- You see the last Stab movie? - Not really a fan of scary movies
That checks out Anyway, it sucked balls
Because nobody takes the true fans seriously Not really
They just laugh at us, and why?
Because we love something?
We're just a fucking joke to them?
How can fandom be toxic?
It's about love!
They don't fucking understand that these movies are important to people
-Richie,,, -But we're gonna help them!
Hollywood's totally fucking out of ideas,
so we decided we'd give them some new source material to follow
Bring it back to basics
Because that's how you make a great Stab movie, Sam
"Based on actual events"
-Gale -Sit the fuck down!
Back up
You did all this just to make me the hero of your fucked-up movie?
Sweetie, you're not the hero
You're the villain
The daughter of Billy Loomis who sees fucked-up visions of her dead dad
Sidney Prescott killed your father
You,,,
did all this just to get her back to Woodsboro
You know what the biggest problem with the Stab movies is?
There's no Michael Myers or Jason Voorhees
No bad guy to keep coming back
But the illegitimate daughter of the original mastermind?
Now that's a fucking villain
- How did you know? - About your father?
It's a small town and your mom's a drunk!
I met Richie on the Stab subreddit
I've been obsessed ever since my parents bought this house
We realized pretty quickly we had similar ideas
Wasn't that hard for me to find you in Modesto
It wasn't that hard for me to fuck you, either
But I guess being a sexually available woman
is supposed to be empowering these days
Fuck you!
Well, now you're just quoting the original
But it wouldn't work with just you, Sam
See, we had to bring the legacy characters back to make it matter
Can't have a bona fide Halloween without Jamie Lee!
Nope!
Dewey had to die to make it real
To show that this wasn't just some bullshit,
cash-in, run-of-the-mill sequel
Because our movie has fucking stakes!
'Cause anyone can die in a requel
No!
Goddamn it Whoa, whoa!
No, hey! Sit the fuck down
I'm so sorry, Sid
We can't let you live, either I mean, surviving this many times,,,
that would just be ridiculous
This time the fans are gonna be the ones who win
- That about cover it? - Nailed it, baby
Get Tara out of the closet We got to start staging the bodies!
Stay with me, Sid Stay with me
You really should've listened to Dewey
He nailed it in one! Dude, look at the love interest!
Are you fucking stupid?
I even had you convinced it could be your sister
She's not here
What the fuck do you mean, she's not here?
She's not here!
I untied her
Guess you're not as persuasive as you thought
That's for you
Yeah, like your gimpy little sister's gonna make a difference
She's our fucking pincushion at this point
Amber! Fan out She couldn't have gotten far
I can't find her!
Amber?
Sam! Where you going? Your big scene's coming up!
Fucking kill you!
The fucking hand sanitizer?
No, no, no, it's not my fault! It's not my fault!
Let me guess, the movies made you do it?
No, it was the message boards! I was radicalized
- By movie fans? - Yes, they're so mad!
Please, it's not my fault I'm just a dumb kid
I wanted to be a part of something
"A part of something"? You killed my best friend!
Yeah, and he died like a pussy
That's the thing about slashers, Sam
So many blood trails
This one yours?
Only one way to find out!
I was the last thing Dewey saw before he died too
I can't believe I get to do you both
No last-minute saves this time Your story's over!
Time to pass the torch
It's all yours, bitch!
- You want to do the honors? - This one's yours
No, stop, stop, stop! I'm sorry about Dewey
Fuck you
Enjoy that torch
Stop,,,
fucking up,,,
my ending!
Sam?
Sam!
Okay
What are you gonna do now, huh?
Make a scary phone call to me?
Pop out of that closet in a Ghostface mask?
No
Because you're the villain!
And the villain dies at the end
Those are the rules
I'm introducing a new rule
And what would that be? Huh?
Well?
Never fuck with the daughter of a serial killer
What about,,, my ending?
Here it comes
Careful, they always come back
Okay, then
I still prefer The Babadook
Are you okay?
Are you good?
I'm so sorry
Excuse me
Excuse me, sir
-Hey -Hey
She's gonna be okay
Can you take us to a different hospital this time?
Of course
You ready to go?
I'll be right back, yeah?
Your vitals look good
You sit tight for a draft, okay?
Sidney Gale
Thank you both
For everything
Are you gonna be all right?
I'll survive I always do
You were right,,,
about not running
Sorry about that
How are you doing?
Ask me in a few days
But at least I know what I'm gonna write about
What's that?
Not this
Those fuckers can die in anonymity
But maybe something about a good man who used to be the sheriff here once
I'd like to read that story
Can I ask you a weird question?
Yeah
Am I gonna be okay?
Eventually
Hey
Wait Sam, Sam!
Thank you
Well, you're not going anywhere without me
Don't worry
I'm gonna hold your hand all the way there
I can take care of her and her sister
She's all ready for transportation
25 years ago, almost to the day, in this very house
a tragic story ended
Tonight, a new chapter came to a close
Police do not have a lot of information right now,
as they are still collecting evidence
As you can see, this is a very active crime scene
An unknown number of fatalities, several injuries,
some people being taken off by ambulance right now as we speak
This is a developing story,,,