رسانه اینترنتی مای موویز MyMoviz جامعترین سایت فیلم و سریال
You know, I think I've died,
Goodness, You're completely cold,
-Is this what you meant? -That's right, a shroud,
-So I won't be having breakfast? -How could you have breakfast?
We'll divide it up,
I'll do the envelopes for the death announcements
and you go to the undertakers,
-At least you can have a last drive, -Okay,
Helenka! We didn't even say goodbye!
Hello!
Is that Mr, Šejnoha?
Yes, This one's full!
You're in compartment two, Come this way,
I thought: Šejnoha, is that going to be the writer? And it is you!
-Aren't we lucky! -I see you're all nice and ready,
-Fantastic, -My wife got me ready,
Have you got a minute just to sign this?
Of course,
I'm not exactly in a hurry!
This is going to be valuable one day,
The last autograph!
Nice and slowly, Don't hurt yourself at the last moment,
-Like this? -Now, lie down like that,
-There we go, -There's not much room here,
Try folding your hands,
My goodness, they're cold,
Like getting cold ham out of the fridge,
Funeral humour, just like him,
How do you think that stuff up?
-Gentlemen? -What is it, Mr, Šejnoha?
I'm not completely dead, I'm aware of everything, Is that okay?
Here you are,
-Really? -Have a drag and it'll be okay,
Breakfast is ready!
Jesus!
-When will you be back? -Lunchtime,
-Goodness, what are you doing? -I'm just happy!
-What medals? -They've all got medals,
See how you're talking? You said "medal," and you mean "mobile,"
-Talk properly, -They've all got mobiles,
And they call each other, Ota's got one, Radek's got one,
-And who do you need to call, then? -Radek or Ota,
You don't need to call them, You see them daily,
What would you say to them? Just pointless stuff,
How they are, where they've been,
See, pointless stuff,
Ota, have you ever seen Frosty on telly?
This isn't a bird house, but a cottage on fowls' legs,
The birds will be scared of it
but it's an ideal house for the ugly witch,
For the ugly witch, on fowls' legs!
Say it again, Sir!
No, boys, A joke isn't funny any more when you repeat it,
-Just one more time! -What I said,
And concentrate, don't have so much fun you bang your finger,
Who's banged their finger today? Show me, See!
If you don't want flat fingers like a toad
what do you have to be?
-Careful, -Excellent,
Take your pills everywhere with you, All the time,
-Yeah, -If you feel problems, take one,
Straight away, Ten minutes and it could be too late,
Can I drive still?
You can, but as I say, keep the pills on you,
Phew, I wouldn't like to have to stop driving,
It's not critical yet, But you've seen better days, Mr, Šejnoha!
I know,
Jesus!
Keep your fucking hair on!
Thanks,
-Goodbye, -Thank you, Goodbye,
-Hello, -Hello,
You must have lots of suitors every day,
-What makes you think that? -So pretty, Don't tell me you don't,
I don't, Take one in case of problems, With water,
-Thank you, -Hello,
-That's not how you pick up girls, -No?
These days girls go after guys themselves, if they're in the mood,
Large or small?
Small is fine,
-I'd miss the feeling of conquest, -They're all the same, sir,
Just squeeze it out of the blister,
Right,
Did you enjoy your meal?
I'm glad to hear,
Shall we have some coffee?
Yes,
Yes, yes…
I'd love to,
But I'll take it with me, I've had an idea!
-I see, -Yeah,
He's always had a thing for girls in chemist's shops,
Right,
"He's always had a thing
for girls in chemist's shops," That's good,
Waiting at the counter for them to go up on tiptoe
and find his medicine,
in his mind he took off their white slippers and socks,
took off their white coats and knew
that a chemist was so pure, sterile
and fragrant that there was no need for her to wash,
You can take her straight home from work into bed,”
-Hello, -Hello,
Do you want to go for a coffee with me?
No, There's no extra charge on that, Next, please!
Hello,
…NEXT, PLEASE!
Hello, A bandage, please,
-Would you go for a glass of wine? -No,
-For a cup of tea? -No,
-To the cinema? -No,
-Or tomorrow? -No,
Vendula, your customer's here!
No,
-What a bitch, -Invincible as Fort Knox,
At least with your ancient methods, Sorry,
-Do you know what it takes? -I can't say I do,
-An idea! -Supper time!
But that's enough for today, We wouldn't be able to sleep,
What is it?
Kneel there, Vojta, And beg,
We came to ask you,
Since you think about our boy,
could you write about him too?
I will, I'm just thinking how to go about it,
I'm not in a position to order you,
I can only ask:
If you want to write about him and if you would be able to cure him,
-Is what he's got curable? -No,
So you want me to perform a miracle, I can't,
-Please! -Just write it,
You can write what you want,
What has our poor boy done to get into this situation?
What have I done?
I can't make miracles, you understand,
I mostly make fun,
If my story is believable
and ends unexpectedly and yet truthfully, people laugh at it,
If I put a miracle in there, it wouldn't be funny,
A miracle isn't believable, What are you doing?
Mr, Writer's breath smells too, Dad,
Jesus!
Overcast or partly cloudy, Possible clear skies in the evening,
Light snow in the Beskid Mountains,
Six to ten degrees Celsius, two degrees in the mountains,
-So? Do you have any ideas for me? -God!
A moment's peace…
Good morning! Wherever you are, we're with you, With us…
you're Never Alone!
-Never Alone… -…with Jiří Chum,
-I don't mean to bother you… -You are,
I thought we, well I, might be doing it wrong,
I keep asking if she wants to go here and there, and maybe…
I need to be more assertive,
-We forgot to buy coffee! -Don't tell me now,
Give her a concrete proposal, Without a question,
Give it a try then,
I'll be waiting across the street at 6 o'clock, Come, Please,
PHARMACY
Didn't she come?
I think you'll stay half-finished,
It's beginning to pile up, That'll be 55 crowns,
Thank you,
Radek has a medal that costs only one crown,
You're saying "medal" again, Talk properly, You can do it,
One crown! You pay a lot of money for their services,
then they give you the mobile for one crown,
-What is it? -Looking to see if it's washable,
It's covered in stains, Can you take it off?
I can't and I don't want to! My back gets cold without it,
Yeah!
Radek's cost one crown,
One crown? But he didn't say how much his father paid altogether,
One crown,
-You're not asleep, are you? -No, just thinking,
Then watch the road, Turn right here,
-Have you got your mobile? -I have,
Come on,
It's clear, c'mon, Straight ahead now,
My God, Mr, Šejnoha! Stop!
I've got so much on, I'm thinking of giving it up,
-Giving up what? -The cars, It's hard to do both,
I've got a patient, Keep an eye on her,
Does it still hurt, Ludmila?
She's got a paralysed tongue,
But in 20 minutes it'll move elsewhere,
She had radiation for cancer,
But she works at the airport, where she's exposed to those rays,
from the computer screen, and it coagulated the blood in her head,
-I'm dissolving it with onion, -I see,
Sit down here and if she stops breathing, call me,
Hello! Is that your mummy?
Madam,
can you hear me?
Mr, Bakalář! She's not breathing!
Okay!
Help! He's locked his keys in his car,
-Where's my nappy? -I don't know,
Here,
Ludmila! You were gone just now, weren't you?
It moved into her throat, into her vocal chords,
This is Mr, Šejnoha, The writer,
He's here with his car, but his body is full of mould too,
-I have to go and get my pills, -Of course,
You know how you keep getting flu, that's from root mould,
It comes out in the autumn,
And you breathe in the fungus, and get flu,
You keep going during flu, and that strains your heart,
And then you get these states,
Your spark plugs needed replacing too, I've given you new ones,
It'll be 350 crowns in all,
And only buy well-baked bread, Then the mould has been burnt,
Yes,
What about mouldy cheese?
That's total suicide,
-What's going to happen with me? -I'm sorry,
but we'll have to change you, You're not right,
-How do you mean? -She doesn't want you,
I'll change, I'll do anything for her,
She says no to you, provoking you,
I need a different temperament for this chemist,
Someone passionate, with what women call charisma,
-What do you mean, charisma? -Balls,
-Are you still alive? -Yeah,
When it goes on to the spin cycle, give me a shout,
Mr, Šejnoha, I want to have charisma,
I'm guessing an archer,
They shoot before they measure, He'll get her on a plate,
I'll be an archer, no problem, I want this woman,
-There's nothing I want more, -Very well then,
-Thank you, -But then don't come running
saying you take it back, I won't rewrite it,
-I swear, -As you wish,
I asked you to give me…
I was just about to give you a shout, Now!
You're away with the fairies,
You can be an archer,
but you don't have to actually shoot,
-Jesus, -It's a safety thing,
When I'm walking home at night, I've got half a million in here,
What do you have in there? I need to know,
Details matter,
Have a look,
Basic, wide lens and something longer for portraits,
like any good professional photographer,
-You're a photographer? -Yes,
A passionate one,
Change my name, too, Matěj is kind of dumpy,
What about Mario?
Mario Písecký,
We were just passing, and we wanted to see if you were having fun,
I often have several things on the go,
and when I get stuck on one, I turn to the other,
We're not all lucky enough to be able to choose,
Yep, choosing a well-paid job that's also fun: it's an art,
-Watch out for the child! -Vojta!
I'm aiming at that can,
I'm in pretty good shape,
-Hello, -Hello,
PRESCRIPTION/SALE
I'LL WAIT ACROSS THE STREET UNTIL YOU COME,
We don't have that, Try elsewhere,
Just a coffee,
-Are you leaving? -No, I'd like a beer,
Very well, Beer aids patience,
You look terribly interesting,
Even more interesting up close,
-I'm waiting for someone, -And then I came,
I'm quite independent,
I've got a designer flat around the corner
and designer breasts right here,
How about I show you round them both?
I'm sorry, but I think you're bothering this gentleman,
We're just talking,
He's not interested, He has other plans,
Are you going to stare at that clock?
It's the only nice thing here,
When you get bored of cuckoo clocks, give me a call,
Don't leave it too long, or I might be busy,
You shook her off nicely,
A nice boy can't go out alone these days,
Shoo! Terrible, these days,
…The players generally know each other quite well…
Who do you think you are?
I think that I want you,
You're blunt, Like in that message, I can't stand it,
-What'll you have? Wine? -Nothing,
-The bill, please! -Or…
-Becherovka, -Sure,
You look good when you're in a huff,
-Why are you so late? -Late? I'm amazed I'm even here,
I don't know why I'm here,
-Another one? -No,
Come on, then,
-Where? -Elsewhere, It's not so nice here,
-I'm scared of you, -Come on,
-Is there a wine bar there? -There's not a wine bar there,
-A night club? -No,
What is there? Where are we going?
-Is this a storehouse? -No, I live here,
Come in,
-It's nice, that bad habit of yours, -What a day,
-I argued with Veleba over Anopyrin, -Over Anopyrin?
Yes, I asked him: "How do I explain to people
they can get 400s without a prescription, but the 100s,
four times weaker, need a prescription?"
"That's just the way it is," the bastard said,
"If they want 100s, they can cut the 400s in quarters,"
We've got a garden,
There were so many cherries!
I didn't know,
I've never seen a harvest like it,
What sort of cherries?
Sweet ones,
Mum said I should ask our neighbour
if he'd lend us his crates,
He has lots of them, but no cherries,
He has apples,
Mum said:
"You should go
and ask him for the crates, and we could…
put the cherries in them,"
"But Mum," I said,
"How can I ask him for the crates?
-Yeah, -We're not talking to Mr, Outrata,
-Other foot! -You should go round, make up with him
and explain that we don't have anything to put the cherries in,"
It would be…
It would be a pity… cherries like that…
lovely… we have to…
because otherwise… the birds… will eat them… the starlings…
My God…
-What's your name? -Mario,
Now you won't get rid of me,
…won't get rid of me,
-Am I disturbing you? -Not at all,
I'd almost forgotten how good you are,
Nice, Keep on playing,
I've forgotten it,
-What are you writing? -A story,
-What about? -What about…
Go away again,
I can't play when you're watching me,
You won't say what you're writing,
It's about lovers,
It's not old or lascivious, just so you know,
It's going like a bomb,
Like a bomb!
Lovers today have a vocabulary you don't even know,
Maybe you should write about something you still remember,
Why are you so prickly all of a sudden?
You leave me alone all the time,
and when I find something to do alone,
something I like, you come looking for me,
It's intimate, like showering, And you're getting into the shower,
You should clean up in here,
How can you live among this rubbish?
I can,
-I might catch the mange, -Come on,
What's the matter?
Shall we clean it up together?
It could do with quite a few changes,
Do my photos bother you?
But they're nice, aren't they?
I mind them looking at me,
-Like they're competition? -Maybe,
I feel like I'm just another…
God knows how many you hooked up with,
-You don't say, but it's obvious, -Yes, I've tried quite a few…
I was looking for the right one, Before I finally found you,
-You say that to comfort me, -Not even torture would change this,
Not even if that one tortured you? The pouting one?
No,
Couldn't she go and stare elsewhere?
She might be my best photo,
So either you get used to her too, or we'll rehang her,
Vendula!
You won't get away with that,
Then punish,
I can't manage both,
I'll change them, but next time you should find another garage,
The word's got about, and look…
-Hello, -Hello,
-What's the matter? -Brake pads,
I know, You look better inside now you've stopped eating mouldy cheese,
-I'll do them, You, Mr… -Šléhofer,
Don't wear long socks, that's the main thing,
Pull them down!
How do you expect the poor blood to flow if you choke it like that?
Ah, hello!
Those are the Swiss,
That's the United Arab Emirates,
You came at the last moment, Mr, Šejnoha, look,
One more sharp brake and that would be it!
That's Ruslan! The largest cargo plane in the world!
My God!
-My God, it's going to fall! -Are you serious?
There are 47 people in there!
How can you know? It's a cargo plane,
There's the cargo and two pilots,
Ludmila, save them!
The fire's out,
The pilot wet himself, No wonder,
How can you know that?
Because I can see it,
I'm not a patch on her, Mr, Šejnoha,
I've worked my way up to it, and Ludmila has it straight from God,
You believe she saved the plane?
A hundred percent, She can do things…
I was there when she had a major fit,
And her pain was so strong,
so strong that it changed her eyes,
-See these balls? -Yes,
That's what her eyes were like, But bigger,
She was sure it was the end of her,
And I heard her begging her poor late mother,
Hang on, her poor late mother…
Indeed, She begged her to get her ten years of life, you understand,
So she could bring up her kid, Her mother said:
"Yes, I can ask the Virgin Mary for you,
but I'll suffer for it here in the afterlife,"
Not that! She didn't want that,
And thanks to the fact, that she refused it,
the Virgin Mary appeared to her, all in blue,
and gave her her abilities,
You know what she told me? That she could start a war,
But she's not allowed to, She can only use it for good,
Do you think she'd mind if I wrote a story about it?
You should do,
You're a heathen, Mr, Šejnoha, an unbeliever, no?
-Something like that, -What does Christmas mean to you?
You decorate the tree…
You buy a carp…
We used to sing carols with the kids, What a lovely time,
Sometimes three-part,
Born to us, Hear, Hear, Shepherds, The birds and Mary…
"Virgin" Mary, not "birds and," Vojta,
"Birds and Mary!" I like that one, I'll use that, if I may,
"Birds and Mary…"
He's making fun of you, but remember,
there aren't any "birds" in it, "Surgeon,"
Sorry, "Virgin,"
Virgin Mary! But why can't there be birds in it?
Right, why can't there be a bird surgeon in it?
That's why you can't do miracles, Because you don't believe in them,
Look, I recognise that it's easier to live with faith and miracles,
Everyone is in charge of their own, Like us today, here with…
-Máša, -With Máša,
Hi, Mario, from The Photographer, Main character, You are?
-Bohumil, the main character of… -We don't have a title yet,
About a handicapped boy and a miracle,
Nonsense!
Here is the news at 12 o'clock,
The biggest cargo plane, Ruslan, won't be leaving Prague,
A fire aboard was put out
and the plane with all 47 passengers returned safely
to Václav Havel Airport,
Jesus, it's at the front,
-I've shut my keys in the car! -Come on! Stop dawdling!
I've got the pills in there… For Christ's sake!
Mr, Bakalář,
is Ludmila there? Can you put her on to me?
Well, yes, If I don't take it within ten…
maybe two minutes by now, I'm a goner,
Where are you?
On Jičínská… opposite the cemetery,
Yes, I can see you,
Hold the car,
-Are you stuck to the car? -I am!
Hold on then,
Ludmila! Thank you!
Thank you! Goodbye!
I put them in my breast pocket, stupid me!
They were in my pocket!
Could you have squeezed the remote in your pocket,
when pressed against the car?
Yes, I might have done,
How could Ludmila know I had the keys in my pocket?
Maybe by a miracle,
No, Do you believe that is possible?
-Like a miracle? -Like a miracle,
No, Before, maybe, but not any more,
Wait! Before, maybe… How's that?
It's not important,
You only want to know because of your writing, and I couldn't care less,
I pick the hairs up from the floor, the washbasin, my brush,
I'm used to that, you take photographs here, okay,
That's why you don't want me to live here, so I don't disturb you,
But what is this doing in our bed?
Sorry, in your bed, on which I just changed the sheets?
That'll be from Máša…
-It could have got up there, -As far as the pillow?
Have a bit of faith in me!
I'd like to, but I can't, Here's the key!
Don't be stupid, where would you go?
One last request, Don't try to stop me!
But I love you,
If you did, you wouldn't torment me,
I can't stand this any more!
-Losing you would drive me mad, -Enough banalities!
-Mum says you're like the last one, -How?
She warned me: "The best years of your life will pass you by,"
Other foot!
"First a married man and now that one…
Find someone to start a family with,"
That's me, you've found me, I just have to mature a little,
Supper time!
It's on the table!
Oh, dear,
BLOUSE
I'm a fairly flat character,
You? Flat? I don't think so,
That's just like you,
-A bear came by yesterday, -Really?
And I told him: "What do you want?"
And he just growled and ate everything from the pantry,
-Spaghetti, macaroni… -Sure,
And all the honey,
Nails,
The television set,
And I told him:
"I have nothing else for you, bear,
Just Mr, Šejnoha,
He's at his computer, Feel free to eat him,"
Sure,
And now tell me what I was talking about,
You? Now?
I don't know,
There was an animal here, Remember?
No,
I'll tell you why,
Because you completely ignore me,
Come on, I wasn't finished…
I'm not even here,
Go and growl in your lair, bear,
With a breath…
betraying effort,
as if Vendula was going uphill,
she said: "I'll kill…"
I'll kill you, One day I'll kill you!
Try to!
Because I love you, you idiot,
I'm desperately in love with you! Don't you know?
Your wife was right, You're thriving on lasciviousness,
This is about love, you wouldn't understand that,
You'd be surprised how much love Vojta brings into our house,
Pure love,
But you'd have to come and have a look, see what we do,
what sort of worries and joys we have,
Real ones, you know!
If I promise to come, will you leave me alone?
-When? -When I finish this scene,
Hard work, this, I'm tired as f…
I like strong language,
But it should be used sparingly, It's the spice of language,
I'm tired as heck,
-But no one says that, -Whatever,
That's such a wonderful photo,
-I won the Grand Prix with it, -I know, I wrote it,
Look, Mr, Šejnoha,
I'm too lively for Vendula,
Like a mountain stream, As soon as it sees a gap, that's it,
I see,
I'll have to stop messing around with other women,
Or I'll lose her,
You can't manage both at once,
You can't,
Mate, five letters?
Buddy,
No,
Crony?
No,
-What is it? -Mate, five letters,
It's not buddy or crony,
-Woman, -What?
Woman,
I'm your mate,
Woman?
It fits,
It's stupid, but it fits,
Idiots,
Night,
Good night,
I don't think you'll take me to the Loire châteaux?
Like you promised,
You know what it looks like there now?
Apparently you can see
the huge car parks next to the Chatsworth from the Moon!
I did think we'd go there one day, I was looking forward to it,
You're pretending to be asleep,
But I'm going to tell you,
Anyway, it's like talking to a wall,
You won't even take me to where Ema Destinnová lived,
-And you promised me, -Good God, go there then!
You don't need me for that,
I wanted to see it with you, not by myself!
What do we two have in common with Ema Destinnová, for God's sake?
Nothing with her, but we'd have something in common,
if we went somewhere,
Good God!
Well? According to our agreement it's our turn now,
After breakfast!
Don't worry, He can't force us to wait forever,
He knows he's got egg on his face!
What egg?
With us you're Never Alone!
Yeah…
Come on then,
Let's get started,
Come,
-Thank you, -Thanks,
He's writing it down,
Vojta, stop staring into thin air and work!
Boys, we'll leave the bird houses for spring,
The snow will cover all the birds' food,
and what there's going to be huge interest in now
is feeding tables,
People will be biting our hands off,
-But why? -Why?
Be quiet and hold your hammer by the end,
or I'll knock your hands off myself,
That's one of the basics, boys,
When I see someone not holding his hammer at the end,
I know he works on batteries,
When we make batteries, hold it in the same stupid way as Ota,
-When do we start on the batteries? -It was a joke! Wasn't it?
Yes, or course, What kind of workshop are we?
-Sheltered! -That's right,
And also a carpenter's workshop,
Which means we work with?
-With our bombarded friends! -With wood!
Right, with wood,
You've got a new hat, I'd like one like that too,
Say hello first, Vojta,
-Hello, Dad, -Hello, Vojta,
You've got a new hat, I'd like one like that too,
This isn't new, no way,
It's my old hat, But look… It's got protectors inside
that in winter you pull out,
It's practical, They don't make them like that now,
Will you lend it to me?
It's too small for you,
You'd look like a madman, Come,
I'd like a practical hat too,
I've tried looking, They don't make them anywhere,
People don't want practical things,
They want to use things once and throw them away,
We don't have to look after things, just have fun,
We'll have a white Christmas,
-That's how it should be, -I'll ask Father Christmas
for that practical hat,
What did I tell you, Vojta?
There's no Father Christmas,
So who would have to get you the hat? Me!
But they don't make them any more,
"Father Christmas doesn't exist, but Jesus does, remember that,"
Yes, Well remembered,
Without him, our suffering would be even greater,
If it wasn't for Jesus, Vojta,
Mum and I might not be able to carry the cross,
Look, it would be great today, Dad,
The Chinese could start to make gingerbread,
That's all we need, If the Chinese start to make gingerbread,
it'll be cheap and they'll close our factory,
And you said "the employees" and "the slippery slope,"
That's right, All our employees were going down the slippery slope,
That would be good today, wouldn't it?
They could go down the slippery slope,
Sorry, but that was a good one!
-It wasn't a joke, He meant it, -It was a joke!
Of course! And a good one,
Hello, Mr, Writer,
No egg on his face, but a bald spot on his head,
-It might be better to be quiet, -I'd like to, but I can't,
Shall we go? Do you want to go dressed like that?
-Where? -We wanted to get you some trousers,
-Today? -Yesterday you said today,
-It's really not a good time, -It's never a good time, Let's go,
How long will it take?
It's all fun, but you've not helped us much yet,
-Silence, -But I'm not saying anything,
You're so nervous!
Because I hate this environment,
It's like an air raid shelter,
Why can't we go to a normal shop on the surface? With windows?
Because there's a lot of shops here,
Well, that's going to take forever,
Look, there's a space there,
Keep going,
You're okay,
You shouldn't park here,
-How come? -Look,
Oh, my God!
Don't look at it and keep it with you,
That's the last thing I needed,
My pill!
Water!
I need water,
Thanks,
I hate you,
TRAVEL TIPS
-Mr, Writer… -What the…
I wanted to tell you that Mario Písecký
is a pathetic prejudiced sexist!
First of all get out of my wife's bed, now!
This is a sacred bed!
I don't know your wife but I'm sorry for her, You're just the same,
An obsolescent predator, who sees a woman as prey!
But you'll be extinct soon,
In my case, dear, your wish will be granted soon,
-But now, out! -Mouldy fossil!
Gentlemen, I don't think I can do it today,
All right, Next time, then,
A pity, such a nice coffin we'd picked out for you,
-Does the lady want to? -Sorry?
-Would you like to go instead? -Me?
But…
I'm not ready,
Nobody comes here prepared, young lady,
-That's a lovely dress you've got on, -Beautiful,
Well, I could try it,
Are you serious?
The pillow's made of paper, but it's lovely and soft, Try it,
So it is,
People are afraid of it, but it's really quite nice,
Nice and peaceful,
Are you mad? Come down from there!
How do I look? Do I have a double chin?
You've got one chin, It's beautiful,
-Do you smoke? -Thanks,
What will I do at home? Alone,
All I've done recently is cook, wash and change the sheets,
He didn't need me for anything else,
A no-brainer, then,
I didn't have anything to look forward to,
Best time to go,
Nothing to look forward to? What about the trip?
-What trip? -But…
He promised to take me to where Ema Destinnová lived, But he didn't,
Because it was closed,
They're opening on the 1st so we'll go,
No chance,
I'll see you in heaven, if they let you in,
Last words? Resolute but beautiful, Congratulations,
Helenka, is that you already?
I don't know if you, as a bird,
will understand what I'm going to say now,
You were my very greatest…
love,
All of you, come here!
Gather round! Right now!
-I'm here, -All of you!
Not you, you can fuck off,
Friends, the situation has changed, I won't have time for you now,
I have to look after my wife,
But that doesn't mean it's over, On the contrary!
It happens to good writers
that their characters get out of hand
and start to act independently,
Careful! It's not a mistake,
For those of us who write fine literature…
-Well, fine… -Quiet!
For us it's a blessing, I think your time has come,
-What are we supposed to do? -Whatever you want, That's it,
You act, and I'll watch the spelling,
Dismissed!
Dum-plings!
Has it crossed your mind that you'll have a fit and die?
What good will it be to me
that the nation has all your funny, old-man wisdom when you're dead?
I went to an exhibition once by Josef… you know…
Jíra, You know what?
You can't stay in this lane, it's for fast drivers,
And standing in front of a painting
an elderly man started talking to me: "Josef should have left off here,
This has everything that he could give to the world,"
Now you're going like a madman, You'll have to go back,
I asked him:
"Could you stop"?
And he said: "I managed to,"
"What's it like, I wonder,"
And he said: "Rubbish,"
That's the tenth time I've told you?
-Yes, -Why don't you stop me?
I'll happily hear it an eleventh time,
If you've nothing else, At least you're talking to me,
God, I'm looking forward to that château,
Me too,
I just hope it doesn't go wrong, It always does go wrong,
The weather shouldn't go wrong,
She had a nice place here, right?
…the beauty of our greatest singer was captured by Irena Sedlecká,
She was pretty titchy, wasn't she?
-It's a bust, -Just breasts,
-I see! -Don't ask about anything else,
She didn't sacrifice herself for a single man,
The whole world applauded her,
-They called her Divine Ema? -Yes,
I wanted to ask about her husband,
-Why did they break up? -Sorry,
He was an air force officer, At first he impressed her,
He would fly over the château and drop white roses for her,
-You might say he circled her… -Until he landed at her feet,
-Until she married him as an adult, -Quiet,
-Excuse me, are you the writer? -Yes,
It wasn't a happy marriage, and it shortened her career…
I'm working on three short stories now,
I feel like an actor going from role to role,
Sir, you're disturbing the tour, do you mind?
I'm sorry,
Isn't it the author, Karel Šejnoha?
-It is, -Is he still alive?
Unfortunately,
It's still played,
It's in tune so if one of you wants to play it, you can do,
My wife here is a very good pianist,
Until my husband crippled me,
Don't you want to with your left hand…
-No, -Never mind,
Are you all right?
-Let me see, -Bastard,
Interesting tour, wasn't it?
Now we should get something to eat,
I can cut it up, if you can't manage…
I want to go home,
-Geez! -That was supposed to be making up,
-I don't give a fuck any more, -Come on!
You were meant to watch us,
Because we went from fight to fight…
May I?
"Dear Vendula,"
"You'll probably never understand the fact that I love you,
and yet I don't want to marry you,"
"You'll never stop longing for life in a shared household,"
"I know best how life like that would end and how we would end up
-demolishing the house…" -Household,
"We've been together for two years,"
-Two years? -Yes, two years,
"That's been long enough for you to find out what a lunatic I am,"
"I'm aware that life's passing you by when you're with me,
and that I can't continue to hold on to you,"
You write well, sensitively,
"You're
still
beautiful,
and
it won't be
hard
for you
to fulfil
your
dream of a happy
marriage,
You said
that the
fucker Veleba…"
-Can I? -Of course, It's accurate,
"…is
still
free,
and has never
stopped hoping,
I'm not writing
this letter
drunk,
It's a decision
that's long been
maturing in me,
and it's
definitive,
Thank you
for all the days
and nights
I spent with you,
Don't worry
about me
any longer,
I send
a last kiss
for your
unforgettable
lips,
Mario,"
There you go,
You're back! Come in,
What's new with you, then? Tell me,
-Come, -Nothing, We were waiting for you,
Alone, alone, how can we help ourselves alone?
Your colleague from the story The Photographer has got out of hand,
You should take an example from him, I'll have a look where we finished,
-Aren't you asleep yet? -No,
And tomorrow I have to drive to Warsaw!
And she's at a friend's, so I can't find her,
-That's how she punishes me, -I'm sorry, Give me a moment,
What if she hurts herself?
I have to warn her to tear it up and not to read it,
She's capable of mixing up something in despair, then drinking it,
lying down and that's it,
And she's a chemist, so you can bet that it'll be effective!
My friends, I'm going to have to finish this
before I can start on you, So…
Please, Outside, You too, Vojta,
This goes against our agreement, Mr, Šejnoha,
I'll be complaining about you to the writers' union,
Don't be silly, A character can't complain about its creator,
Does anyone in church complain about their creator? No, My God!
Bloody hell,
Former classmate Vašík Fluks, What the hell are you doing here?
Former schoolmate Vít Matloch, What the fucking fuck!
-What on earth are you doing? -Mind your own business!
-Oh, it's you! I've got a problem, -A problem?
There're letters from some idiot, organising a class reunion,
Looks like it,
What a daft idea, organising it by post,
No one does that, Don't you have the internet?
That didn't occur to me,
Maybe he's older and used to doing it like that…
Could we pull it off? I'd get into it with a chisel,
-Wait… -I'd pay the post office,
They collect the post at 8 o'clock,
Tell the guy with the bag and he'll give it to you,
You'll still manage to get to Warsaw,
-That's true, -See?
We still need to go to the pharmacy, then go home,
Not any more, Look what I bought for you!
From the kids' corner, It doubles as a training aid!
Thank you,
And it squeaks beautifully, right?
Do you need something?
No, why?
-Do you know each other? -No, We just met,
-What was that? -You won't understand,
-Do you know how old you are? -I do, Five years younger than you,
Nice man,
What are you doing here? You don't belong here,
You shouldn't have forced us to be independent, then,
But you can't go into another story for the denouement,
-It's not done, -It's arranged,
Bakalář from the story Ruslan and Ludmila, Come in,
Just Bohumil, unfortunately, No surname and no story name either,
Jarmila, I'm sorry, we're half-done,
-Someone's farted, -Vojta! I'm sorry!
-It's not my fault, really, -Come in,
I'm redoing it here,
You can't do both,
There'll be shelves here for dried herbs,
and here for liquid extracts,
-Have a look, -That's not staying here,
-I consulted Ludmila about it… -What's consulted?
I asked Ludmila about it, because she's a medium,
-That's complicated, -Ludmila has met the Madonna!
-Not this one! -With the Virgin Mary,
Of course,
You know how to handle it,
Do you want to go and play? There are planks…
-Can I saw? -Of course, Come,
Careful,
Here she is, Ludmila, I'll put you on loudspeaker,
-Hello, -Hello,
Could you hold hands, so that I can connect to both of you?
Could the gentleman take his hat off?
-Take it off, -Great,
Mr, Šejnoha, I'll do it via you, because I know you,
-Can you link up with the man? -Is it necessary?
Come on…
That's better,
I can see you're carrying a cross, A very heavy one… it seems to you,
It's not that we're unwilling to shoulder our lot,
We're just afraid of what's going to happen to him when we're not here,
-What will happen to him in the end, -We hold the hammer at the end,
That's right, Vojta! We hold the hammer at the end,
Healing is possible,
We'd do it like a dream, Tomorrow Bohumil and Jarmila will wake up
and realise they've dreamed it all, They'll have a healthy, normal son,
Would that work?
-Yes, -Yes, please,
So they can just get rid of their commitments?
They're Christians,
You left it up to us, so stay out of it!
If it receives a blessing from above…
There will be some consequences, as you can imagine,
I can imagine that a normal boy
is going to be horribly bored with them,
-With us? -Mostly with you, Bohumil,
Don't forget that he'll be another child!
Another child?
It won't be Vojta?
It will be Vojta, but he'll look and behave differently,
The miracle will change him,
so he will be nothing like today's Vojta,
They'll bite our hands off!
But I don't think I want another child,
They will bite our hands off!
Jarmila, for the love of God, think of his future!
He is the love of God,
I'm sorry,
-What's it going to be? -A feeding table for birds,
Pretty good!
At least if we had a title,
All in good time, Bohumil…
-Ludmila, thank you very much, -Yeah,
Mate, I need a letter from there, I'll tell you the address, alright?
-What? -He wants a letter,
No way, Once it's in the box, it belongs to the post office,
Impossible,
-Vendula Urxová, Modřanská 8, -I don't want it,
Stop it! Don't touch the letters!
Don't talk, Viktor,
-I'm sorry, sir, -Come on!
Let's go!
Shit for brains! The two of you!
Empty that bag! Now!
Vendula Urxová, Modřanská 8, Get looking,
-Viktor, what's up? -Sit there and don't move!
I said sit!
Moron!
-Damn it, -Helenka?
I wrote something, Would you read it?
Well, well, well, In the past you brought me everything,
Because you praised me, But then you started to be so mean,
it completely put me off working,
So you need to be praised?
Honestly I do,
I only ever meant the criticism to help you,
so you didn't stop being good,
Sometimes I got the idea my writing almost bothered you, though,
Karel…
it's much more complicated,
But you'd have to understand what goes on in a woman's head,
And I can't?
You can't,
POLICE
Písecký! Mario Písecký!
"Dear Mario,
from the moment we met I knew you were trouble,
and that I should keep away from you,
I've realised you're not capable of love, only ever passion,
When I read that you'd attacked two postmen
and even wounded one of them,
I was ashamed of you from the bottom of my heart,
It hastened my decision to join my life with a decent person
whom I respect and, I think, also love,
Don't call me any more,
Vendula, from tomorrow Velebová,"
You shouldn't have left Matěj like that, I feel sorry for him,
You think? He wanted balls, he's got them,
You'll get some, too,
-Vojta! You've not blown it out? -I did,
Get the matches, quick!
Dad says: "A candle is an open flame and must never burn
without supervision,"
Coming!
Vojta, listen to me,
Promise me you won't tell Dad that you blew the candle out,
-You'd make him sad, understand? -Yes,
Alright, The candle has been burning all the time,
-You didn't blow it out! -I did,
You didn't!
Come and sit down,
Now listen, Vojta,
The flame that you can see in front of you
isn't any ordinary flame,
It's the Bethlehem light,
Who was born in Bethlehem?
-Jesus, -Yes,
And in the town of Bethlehem they have the same fire burning
that we have here on our Christmas table,
Christians lit a lamp from the holy fire and took it by plane to Vienna,
And in Vienna our scouts were waiting for it, Christian boys,
so that they could light their lamp from the lamp from Bethlehem
and take the burning lamp by train to us,
And this morning I was waiting at our station with an oil lamp,
There were so many Christians there,
We looked like the fireflies in the book that I read to you,
Like the little fireflies
with their lanterns,
When I got home, the oil in the lamp had almost run out,
Imagine if it had run out,
But it didn't, and so I managed to light this little candle of ours,
-But Daddy, the candle… -Yes, Vojta,
not everyone has a candle like that,
-The candle… -Because not everyone has a father
who waits in the cold at the station,
to bring home light all the way from Bethlehem,
Not everyone has that,
Let us pray,
Your story is called Bethlehem Light,
That's a nice title,
Bravo!