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"Macarena,"
Yes, she's ready,
Your profiles, sweetie,
No, no, no,
It's important that she speaks with neutral accent,
What?
It's sad, but we're the ones
who set ourselves apart,
I was 5 years old when my whole world changed,
America?
I have it all planned, Carmen,
We'll make a lot of money there,
-Oh, Paco, it scares me, -Your English is great,
Trust me, baby,
For my father, everything is connected,
It's all about signs, And suddenly one came along and said:
"America, America,,,"
And, to be fair, my father wasn't wrong,
Because it was the best time to seize that opportunity,
But nowadays everything is different,
Very different,
There's a song that says that when God made Eden,,,
He thought of America,
I dreamed it, sweetheart,
And when I dream something, it always comes true,
And that was that,
My parents decided to chase their dream
and me,,, Well, I had no choice,
-What's wrong? -Nothing, sweetie,
We're going on a trip,
And that's how we got to our new home,
Obviously not that part,
It was all so different from how I had imagined,
But even so, it felt special to me,
"Welcome to Los Angeles, Macarena,"
The text, sweetie, What we did yesterday, remember?
I don't know how to do it like you're saying,
You have to pronounce the "S,"
She can't do it?
Right,
Hey, you only want little girls? I can be an actress too,
I don't understand,
My mother believed in the American dream
and she always wanted to be an actress,
That's why I grew up
watching soap operas, Which is how I got my accent,
The glass slipper,
Very good,
Thank you for inviting me to this audition,
And?
We opened our family business in Los Angeles,
Everyone would buy our churros,
Or maybe not,
Honey, these people have never tasted a churro before,
We'll sell them like hotcakes,
The business only lost money,
But I have to admit, my father invented
all types of churros,
He never lost hope,
Come on, sweetie,
Churros! Nice and hot!
To tell you the truth,,,
I did miss Spain,
And my mom, well,,,
This is a tongue twister my mom taught me
when I was a little girl,
It's very easy, I have a thick Andalusian accent and I can say it pretty well,
You speak better than me, you'll have no problem saying it,
When someone wants to do something special and they can't,
they say: "How would I pull it off," Easy, huh?
"How would I pull it off,"
But say it like this: "How would I pull it off,"
How would I pull it off,,,
My mom still believed in,,,
my dad?
Of course she wanted us to prosper, but she had to start at the bottom,
It was never her plan to clean other people's houses
to achieve our dreams,
Poor woman,
Things got very hard for her,
She missed her land,
her family, her customs,
her colors,
But coming back empty-handed
was never an option,
And I kept growing up,
I didn't make it as an actress,
but I did get very popular,
I did so many things I'm not proud of,,,
I'd rather not remember,
I said my father was big on signs, right?
Well, me too,
Law became my passion,
And I started studying,
A lawyer,
I finished my degree
and had a trial period at a good firm
with a beautiful girlfriend,
Diana,
I've never been so in love,
It looked like my dreams were coming true
Until I got that call,
I never imagined the turn my life would take at that moment,
We set ourselves apart,
Dad, What's wrong?
And sometimes we drag down the people we love the most,
Things quickly fell apart,
I finished my trial period at the firm
and they didn't hire me,
My mother, after finding out
about my dad's problems,
couldn't accept it,
And, ever since,
she started painting,
Oh, and stealing dogs, which she brings home
and gives back for the reward,
I guess that was her way of helping,
My father had gotten into trouble
with serious consequences,
He had to buy the freedom of the girl he had fallen in love with,
He never meant to hurt us,
but he was unable to face the consequences of his problem,
So I had to,
Mom,
Mom?
Are you going to answer me?
Yeah, sure,
They called from the hospital,
Your father gets out of Intensive Care tomorrow
and I can be with him,
Okay, Mom,
Have you been out?
What?
Have you been out? -What?
Yes, Mom, I went out,
And?
I'll send you the photo,
Any dogs,,,
I mean any signs in that area, the dog is ours,
Definitely,
How much are they paying?
I just sent it to you,
Okay,
Rambo?
Rambo,,,
Look, here he is, that's him,
Ow! Fuck!
He bit me!
The dog bit me, We need to give him back,
I hope you're happy,
Mom, you have to please stop doing this,
Well, I hope you're not too far away,
I don't know when your dad sold the car,
And I'm sick and tired of looking for
my wedding ring, It's gone,
It's all I've got left,
You haven't seen it?
No, Mom, it must have fallen off while you were painting
or something like that,
Listen,
When I see your dad, what do I tell him?
Anyway,
none of this is your fault, right, sweetie?
Yeah, Mom,
",,,and go to this address,"
I can't go any faster,
It's not enough,
I work,
Give me more time, Please,
I'll do anything,
Thursday, seven-thirty,
Ask for Cuevas
and go to this address,
He's Latino too,
Mom,
I'm leaving, okay?
-Where? -A job I got,
Someone didn't show up, Driving a shipping truck,
A truck?
Yeah, Mom, it's fine, They pay well,
It's early, it's Thursday, Can you open?
Yeah, sure,
-I'll call you later, -I'm not getting what you're,,,
WITH THE YEARS THAT WE HAVE LEFT
Doing some stuff,
Meeting for the first time,
Yeah, it's under control, Okay,
I've got everything,
I saw Cuevas and,,,
Please don't sell that ring,
Yeah, yeah, Thanks,
-Hi, Louis,,,? Lou,,,? -Lu,
Like "luz" without the "Z,"
-Right, -Macarena? Get in,
Are you fucking with me?
1958 Ford Fairlane,
-You're fucking kidding me, -What's the problem?
It's too flashy,
Yeah, right,
So are you,
-It says here another car, -Sure, but I decided
to upgrade, This is for a princess,
Princess my ass,
I've been waiting for an hour, I want to get rolling,
We said 9 o'clock,
I'm late because of you,
Hey, hey! The bag goes with me,
-In front? -Yes, in front,
Okay, then, Let's go,
Jump,
-I need to get it fixed, -Jump?
Jump, I need to get it fixed,
Want some?
Fucking crap, no alcohol,
Here, take a puff,
You'll feel better,
Joint?
-No, thank you, -Loosen up,
You're too fussy, I have a whole box in the glove compartment,
I'll grab another,,,
Even worse,
Bad day?
Pretty much,
That sucks,
If you want to get it off your chest, go right ahead, We have a few hours,
Really, I don't mind at all,
I'm a great listener,
Why are you going to Mexico?
Look, Louis, Luis, Lu,,,
-Lu, call me Lu, -Okay, Luz,
No, Lu,
Go ahead, what's up, Talking will help, honey,
No, I'm not your honey,
I don't want to talk, I don't need your help,
And if you haven't noticed, all I care about
is getting there as soon as possible, okay?
I like your attitude, You're honest, you speak your mind,,,
Macarena,
Like the song, huh?
Don't even think about it,
Hi, baby, Have you left?
I can't believe we're meeting today,
I'm so nervous!
Babe, I'm on my way, I had,,,
a little setback, but we're all set, Here, listen to this,
What?
Cuevas! Somebody looking for you!
Come in, honey,
She gets to come in?
-I've been waiting for two hours! -Yeah, yeah,
I want my fucking money man!
Patience!
No way, you always give me the same crap!
Boss,
Tell someone in there to help him, And nobody else comes in
until I say,
And give the lady here some breakfast,,,
No, I'm fine, thank you, I'm not hungry,
Sorry, we have a lot going on this time of year,
Yeah, I can see,
We can't play around with other people's hopes and dreams,
What do you think?
What do I have to do?
Are you in a hurry?
No?
Have a seat,
Okay,
I hear,,,
you have a family business,
I didn't know we were having tea, If you could tell me
-what I'm doing here,,, -Look, sweetie,
Don't call me sweetie,
That's no way to talk to Father Christmas!
Okay,
Santa Claus, You don't like the "father" thing,
I'm really not hungry,,,
It's part of a tradition,
-Yeah, but I don't usually eat,,, -It's tradition,
-I'm not hungry,,, -You're in my home, damn it! Eat!
Start with the head, that's the tastiest part,
Go ahead,
Hey, look!
That's where you have to take the prize,
These came out very tasty,
You need to be there before noon,
Have you got a car?
Camel,
Take the bag,
Give it to her,
And follow me,
This says Sonora,
-In Mexico? -Of course,
If it were nearby, I'd go myself,
Know how to remove the safety?
Is this tradition too?
My phone number,
for anything you need,
Try not to lick it too much,
What about that?
-How do you turn it off? -It's magic,
So you won't lose it,
I invented it myself,
Wait,
Things haven't been going the way I'd like lately,
Try not to upset me,
I have high blood pressure and I get very upset,
I'm a pawn, just like you,
Carrying out the wishes of others,
Don't let me down, I haven't gotten used to this yet,
Understood?
Who lets down Father Christmas?
Santa,
Call me Santa,
Wait, don't go yet, For the road,
Have a nice trip, Good luck! Best of luck to you!
No way, no way, no way,,,
Are you sure, Mom?
-I didn't see anything at home, -It must have fallen out in the car,
-You don't have any money? -Yes, Mom, I do,
Let me know, okay?
I'll handle it right now, I'll call you later, Goodbye,
What?
They always say the same and we always get this heat,
Yeah, right,
Actually I prefer the heat,
I like the heat,
Where are you from?
Mexico City,
Very nice,,, country,
Finally someone is cool and asks me something,
People don't talk anymore,
that's the truth, they just do their own thing,
Well,,,
I guess that's better
than someone saying "This is a robbery,"
I have one just like it right here,
Stuff like that used to be exciting
and give you goose bumps,
You might even get laid,
I prefer to go with the flow,
Yeah,
Twenty,
Where?
No, twenty,
On three,
Give me these too,
Thanks,
Hey,
Your friend is waving at you,
Right,
What? Twenty bucks?
We'll stop at the next one, I didn't like him,
-You didn't like what? -What?
You need to pay 100,
I'm just really into vibes,
-What? -Energy,
-Uh-huh, are you getting this one? -Yeah,
Look, I bought you beer with alcohol, I brought you a gift,,,
Look,
There he is, see?
We stop at the next and you fill it,
Is that clear?
He's like the American Julio Iglesias and you know it,
Drive,
MEXICAN BORDER
Here for what?
Tourism,
Everything okay?
Our first trip together,
Go ahead,
How's that for good vibes,
That's off,
Open your mouth,
-What? -Open your mouth,
Lips,
Now put in the cigar,
Gently,
That's it, gently,
Very good,
And,,,
are you on Tinder?
Seven languages,
All of them barely, but seven,
-Seven languages, -Seven languages,
That's how you learn the most,
And take it from me,
Understanding everything isn't good either,
Maybe not,
People disagree but,,,
language brings people together,
That's right, here I am,
Driving for miles to see her,
She's Mexican,
-Have you met in person? -No,
We've sent each other photos,
Except our faces,
-Why not? -We're leaving that for last,
Intimacy is here,
-Oh, yeah? -Hm-hm, Her idea,
To make it a little more exciting,
She'll flip when she sees me,
What?
When she sees me, she's going to flip,
-Yeah,,, -Yeah,
Are you seeing anyone?
No,
Too messy,
You're good at it, aren't you? Finding people to ride with,
I like you,
You have a lot of "luz,"
This mother chugs like no other,
Yeah,
Could you fill the tank and I'll transfer you the money?
What?
I can't find my wallet, it must have fallen out somewhere,
Okay,,,
Give me your account number and I'll transfer you the money,
The ad was very clear,
-I know, -What did it say? "Cash,"
-Yeah, I know, -Okay, honey?
Always make things clear from the start,
Give me your account number and I'll do a wire transfer in one second,
Get out,
Come on, let's go,
Go on,
Go on, hop out,
Get the fuck out!
You're driving me,
-You're driving me, -I knew it,,, Damn it!
You're going to drive me,
Want me to drive you? I'll drive you, honey,
Look,
Don't drive so fast,
No?
-Slow down, -I like it,
Fucking turn around,
Fucking turn around or I'll blow your head off!
Slow down!
Damn it, Lu!
Are you okay?
-It's fine, there's no problem, -Yes, there is,
Everything's fine,
-It's fine, we're cool, -We are not cool,
Put down the fucking phone!
Stop!
Don't move, Put it down!
Let me explain, Will you please stop?
Please, stop,
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,,,
I like extreme thrills,
Yes, hello?
-Nice car, -Yeah,
The ad said another but this one is bigger,
It's very nice,
-No touching, -Look, Here,,,
Don't lean on it either,
I like extreme thrills,
-You decide how much you make, -Your Spanish is good,
-Yes?-It's Macarena,
Is there still space available to go to Mexico?
-Yes, there's space,-Okay, I'll take it,
Where do we meet and how long is the ride?
-People are crazy, huh? -Yeah, sure,
People promise to pay and then they don't,
Careful,
It says here he's liable for any physical harm,
Okay, that's perfect, right?
Between harm and dead,,,
Hey, first take me, then call whoever you want,
"Caca,"
The key word to stop the simulation,
Did he say "caca"?
-Good lord, who will believe this? -Anyone,
You say some fucker paid you to stage a kidnapping
to live out a sexual fantasy he had,
Does it say "sexual"?
I don't think you'll have too much trouble getting people to believe that,
Although with that face,,,
they're going to flip,
Cuevas?
I told you to call me and keep me informed,
It's just,,,
I licked a number on the candy cane
-and it got erased, -Hang up,
Now,
And you say old people repeat things too much,
You might say Lu was always looking for love,
It was the year 1993,
Clinton took office as President of the United States,
The Hague signed the first treaty to facilitate international adoption,
-Lu always thought he was Spanish, -Son,,,
You're adopted,
That's how he found out why he didn't look like either of his parents,
His parents gave him a wonderful life,
but two years ago he decided to come and find his roots,
Your son,
Wait, wait!
Even still he decided to stay and conquer,,,
America!
The lady at table 3 changed her mind,
She wants the filet to go,
She has a dog,
Things didn't turn out the way he thought,
He didn't fit in at any job,
But there was a silver lining,
He finally found good people and a steady job,
I spy with my little eye,,,
You have to say: "What do you spy?"
And I say: "Some fucker who couldn't read a fucking contract
and almost got fucked, Yes, sir,"
-That's not what it says, -Sure,
Your seven languages out the fucking window,
What do you do now with a fucking dead guy in the trunk?
Sure, you don't want me to get out of the car anymore, right?
What are you doing?
What are you doing, man?
-Hands off,,, -Eyes on the road!
Don't touch the fucking bag!
Stop or I'll blow your fucking head off, Stop or,,,!
Then blow my fucking head off,
Go ahead, blow my fucking head off,
Go on, motherfucker, Let's see if you have the balls,
Hi, Mom,
What's up, sweetie? How are you?
Fine, Mom,
I'm fine,
You?
Nervous,
-What about? -Seeing your father,
Oh, and I returned the dog, I'm here getting to work,
There's nobody here, nobody comes here,
Hold on a second, Take it,
Unbelievable, Some guy taking churros, they were already cold,
Listen to me, sweetie,
There's something I wanted to tell you,
You're,,,
the best thing that has ever
happened to me,
I thought my dad was,
Not a chance, I miss your dad a lot,
but,,, that's about it,
Maca,,,
Are you upset?
No, Mom,
I got distracted watching the road,
Okay, I won't bother you any more, okay?
No, Mom, you're not,,,
You don't bother me,
Oh, listen, hold on, one second,
Look, I opened a bit late today
because I went out looking for dog signs and I found one,
That fluffy one we have at home, I found him,
Its name is,,,
It's a weird name,
Yeah, Mom, those could all be the same dog,
Well, I think it's this one,
Okay, then,
Careful on the road, okay, sweetie?
Yeah, Mom, I'm careful,
The three of us will be together again very soon,
I love you,
I love you too, Mom,
Why would they pay him already?
Why take so long if he's working? I don't understand,
Come on, keep your voice down,,,
-Don't give me any more, -Just a drop,
We have to celebrate, She's here, come on,
No, Mom, what are you doing? Don't drink,
-Occasionally, Here, a toast, -Occasionally,,,
Well, I,,,
I wanted to talk to you two,
Mom, why is there paint all over your hands?
-Right, -What happened?
Nothing, the lady at the house takes care of me,
She's teaching me to paint, gives me paint,,,
And now I'm painting the house different colors,
-Colors? -Colors, yeah,
For a change, because we get tired of always the same thing, don't we, son?
Well, you mean she was giving you classes,
Because you don't work there anymore, right?
Wait, Mom, did you get fired?
I took a vacation,
Nobody fires me,
Next time let me tell my stuff, okay?
We hear very little about yours,
Fine,
What happened to you there?
Hi, leave your message,
You sure I'll look better without a beard?
Yes,
-And will you,,,? -Paco,,,
-Will you love me more? -Yes, Hands off,
Dad,
Nothing,
I cut myself,
I was going to shave my beard and,,,
I cut myself,
Why were you going to shave your beard?
I don't know, for a change, that's all,
And how are you doing?
Great, Dad, I'm at the office which is pretty small,
There's a lot of competition, I have to finish my trial period
to see if they take me or not,,,
-Your mother always trivializing, -No, come on, Mom, no,,,
Let's toast to you, you deserve everything,
Everything!
To our little girl,
The best thing we ever did,
Yeah, Mom,
Eh, Paco?
Your mom always talks about you,
What for?
Because I miss you,
-Touch me, -Alone all day long,,,
Since your dad joined the gym I never see him,
You joined a gym, Dad?
-Yes, he joined a gym, -That's great,
Yeah, it's great, The years catch up with you,
How much per drink?
You haven't got anyone?
No,
I haven't got anyone, I'm alone here,
Please,
What?
In the end you realize that your biggest enemies
when trying to make a new life here
are those of us who already managed to,
Who is it?
If you Google the name you get news stories about,,,
drugs and murders,
We can
try to request asylum, but it won't,,,
-It won't be easy, -This is a very different case,
I'm a lawyer,
I'm very proud that you're a lawyer,
But she has a debt with the people who brought her and yes,
I met her in a club,
-She's a prostitute? -Yes,
Your dad's the best thing that's happened to me in a long time,
Yeah,
Look,
I'm not chasing the American dream,
I'm on the run,
Do you understand?
He can help us,
Here,
For you,
Have faith,
And there she was,
Paulina,
She stole a life from us and gave us,,,
another life,
He seems,,,
happier, even, Right?
He's happier,
Yeah,
Listen to me,
-No, Mom, -Yes, The whole bottle,
Then we're having dinner here?
-Everyone? -But the bottle, bring the bottle,
I love you very much,
I've always thought that people who say "I love you very much"
actually love you very little,
Or maybe they add the "very much" which in this case means "very little"
because they're afraid the "I love you" is too weak,
Me too,
If you want to leave a man, investigate him,
But if you don't want to leave him,
don't look because you will find,
This lady is absolutely right,
-Are you okay? -I'm wonderful,
-Hey, how is Diana? -Diana's great, she's great,
She had too much work, that's why she didn't come,
And you're happy with her?
Very happy,
That's great,
Everything, huh?
Oh, look,
The bottle,
Well, we don't have to finish it here,
Yes, we will,
-Okay, -Oh, yes, we will,
I don't want any more, serve yourself,
-Okay, let's drink, -We're going to toast,
To my little girl the lawyer,
-Almost a lawyer, -Almost is fine,
And to my husband,,,
for going to the gym and to me
for painting the house different colors,
-That's right, the artist, -The artist!
-Cheers, -Cheers,
-Okay, I love you, -Me too,
No smoking here,
Only me,
When you have your own place, you can smoke there,
There,,,
Touch me,
-Touch me, -Carmela, damn it,
Touch me,
Here,,,
Come on,,,
Come here,
And don't smoke!
Do you mind the music loud?
I like boleros!
This song takes me,,,
Hey, are they paying you well?
What?
-No, nothing, -No, what?
I lit one, do you mind?
Not at all, they're my boss',
Let's go,
The flame of this love has gone out,
Living through this pain,,,
I fucking hate being lied to,
It's true I embellish things sometimes, but,,,
it's not the same,
Is the car yours?
No,
And you have nowhere else to go,
Pretty much, You do what you can,
I'm helping you take the package,
-I'm going to pay you, -Uh-huh, How much?
We bury him together, eh?
Look, we'll see when we get there,
He probably had no family,
It's possible,
Trying to comfort me?
Crime: "Failure of duty to rescue,"
What?
We can say we were taking him to the hospital,
But the autopsy might say the opposite,
That makes me feel better, Much better,
Look, I could be wrong,
but I'm pretty sure the dog they're looking for
is the one we have at home,
Anyway, call me, It scares me to think you're on the road
and I can't talk to you, okay? Bye,
-Is he yours? -The lady I work for,
I worked in a house with a dog too,
-It was a "Gosky",,, -Corgi,
Which race is he?
-A beagle, -Oh, a beagle,
Does he make trouble?
-He's a good boy, -Oh, that's great,
And you're Latino, right? From where?
-Guatemala, -Oh, Guatemala,,,
I paid,
You see that car?
Come on,
One, two, three,
Damn, he's heavy!
-Got him? -Yeah,
Keep your head down,,,
Put him in,
Come on,
There,
-The shirts, -No, leave them, Come on,
In English,
Don't mention the contract,
What dress?
-The address, -How should I know,
Fuck, Wait, wait,
Miss,,,
Welcome to La Oaxaqueña,
My name is Almudena, Would you like some flavored water?
We have lime, pickle, watermelon, guava, passion flower,
tamarind, strawberry and hibiscus,,,
-No, no,,, -English?
All set,
Diana?
No,
La Oaxaqueña!
What do I do?
Imagine, the door opens,,,
Shut up!
Shut up,,,
Shut up! Hang up, Hang up
or I'll put a bullet in you,
Do you know them?
She's my girlfriend,
Your what? Your girlfriend?
Police,
Isn't it obvious?
Well, I hope everyone's papers are in order,
Okay, girls, girls, girls!
Were you all born in the U,S,?
And you're happy,
And what do we do with that?
I hope you're not a racist,
They're Korean,
Parasites?
It's Hollywood, They fast track their visas since then,
They're bilingual, trilingual, I taught them,
Her first day in LA she met Diana,
They've been inseparable ever since,
Briseida, I can't stand this song,
Shit!
-Bris! -What?
What did you hit?
-What was that? -I don't know, a branch,
What happened,,,?
Be careful, you'll kill us, What were you doing?
I broke a nail,
Briseida grew up admiring someone more than anything,
Her mother,
María Magdalena Domínguez,
She arrived from Argentina in the seventies
and was better known as Mimí Badhú,
In 1985, when Briseida was 10 years old,
Mimí had a serious thyroid problem
that made her gain weight, But the extra kilos
never stopped her from going on with the show,
But it did stop the audience,
Briseida wanted to set an example and prove to her mother
and the world that her physique would never keep her
from being an actress and making it big in Hollywood,
But it was nothing like Mexico,
You're going to meet my mom, You'll love her,
If she's like you, I'll laugh a lot,
Oh, yes, she's a total diva,,, You'll love her,
-She'll hate my nails, look, -They look awful,
I tried to patch it up,
-But you can still tell, -They're awful,
-The tattoo will give her a heart attack, -She'll love the tattoo,
It's beautiful,
-Eat some fries, -No,
-You're staring at them, -I don't want fries,
-Why not? -Stop,
-Finish them, -No, no!
This body only makes enemies,
Do you think I'm fat?
Yes,
-You see? Another one, -No,
She's coming for Christmas, What will you do?
No, don't tell me, it stresses me out, Just thinking about it,
Then eat anything you want,
That's what I've always done,
I get stressed and when I get stressed, I eat,
Can you stop the car?
-No,,, -Yes, please,
They stopped,
-I need my bag, -What do you want your bag for?
-I need my bag, -It's right here,
What's she doing?
Changing her shoes,
-Are you going to answer? -Fuck,
They say water with lemon is good for losing weight,
Yeah, if the lemon tree is 10 miles away and you go back and forth,
Hey!
You start burning fat after half an hour,
And if you speed up and slow down you cause cardiac fluctuations
that make you burn even more,
What?
They asked you to lose weight for the audition?
Put that on your refrigerator,
It will help,
Now you can't retouch that or add filters,
Some co-producer of whatever came in
and they have this "free-taxes" crap,
They have to shoot on the beach and it's a problem,
Isn't that the project you told me about?
No! No, not that one, they're taking forever,,,
But don't you worry,
I'm going to be the first Captain America Latina,
Diana, please, stop!
Diana! Diana!
Diana, wait! Don't leave me here!
Briseida!
Get in!
It's important! Briseida!
Speed up, Diana!
Stop the fucking car!
Diana!
Hey! Hey, no!
Come here, motherfucker!
Lu!
Fuck your mother!
Looks like a suicide,
The weapon is in her right hand,
She's left-handed,
The champagne in the bucket is untouched,
The subject didn't drink,
Homicide,
I'm a volunteer,
I study penal law and these simulations
are a big help,
Great,
And,,
Excuse me?
What are you doing?
The subject,,,
left a note,
Or there might be a real suicide,
Diana was born in the United States,
She's Chicana,
That's what they call people of Mexican descendancy,
Integrating was always what mattered most to her family,
Her grandfather was a cop,
Her uncles, Alfonso, her father, and she, well,,,
followed in their footsteps,
All clinging to the law as if that made that look
more American, Diana is the soul of the family,
Before it was her mother, Guadalupe, until,,,
everything changed,
For Alfonso, his daughter was the spitting image of his wife,
Diana thought only about him and his well being, until I showed up,
There's a dead body in my trunk!
You know what that means?
We have to call the police,
No, you are the police, Tell me what to do,
Okay, calm down, Briseida,
Fucking bitch!
I swear to God it was a branch, I swear,
And that man's hair is darker,
This is more like,,,
copper chestnut,
I don't know much, but I know my hair dyes,
That's not him,
And why are you asking me?
She's the one who vanished and shows up like this
without an explanation!
Since when do branches have hair?
Maybe a branch with a squirrel,
This place must be full of squirrels,
I don't want to go to jail,
-Please, I don't want to go to jail, -Fucking hell,
-I have to get that fucking bag back, -Hey,
Any more details I should know?
We need to reach the U,S, embassy
or turn ourselves in to the authorities here,
Impossible,
Look,
Diana,
-Diana, -What?
We can't turn ourselves in here,
If we get arrested and accused of a crime as non-residents,
it'll be too hard to mount a defense,
Can you think of a better legal option?
I need to know everything about how you hired this trip, everything,
The license plate, the route,,,
And a description of the guy would be helpful,
Yeah, whatever you want, but I have to recover that bag,
The bag?
We have a dead body in the trunk!
Can you pay for it?
I lost my wallet too,
Didn't you need a bathroom?
Damn this fucking phone,,,
What's up? I can't talk,,,
Bernard, 90-046,
Where are you headed?
A friend's house,
You're not from around here, are you?
No, I live in Los Angeles,
Los Angeles, eh?
That's far away, Are you here for work
or on holiday?
I said I was going to a friend's,
Please get out of the car and put your hands on the hood,
What's in here?
I grabbed what I could after a fight with my wife,
The car isn't yours?
No, it belongs to my boss,
But I'm on the insurance,
Right,
Hi, baby babies!
How are you? I am so excited
because I have the new collection right here,
Yes, introducing the new "Yes, Love" collection!
Nine colors you can mix and match!
And, best of all, you can send messages of love, Yes!
Ready?
Yes!
Subscribe to my channel where I'll tell you everything and more,
Kiss!
Sorry,
Paid campaign,
I had to upload it right now,
And sorry about before,
You're doing well, that's great,
I can't complain,
Oh, yes I can, I have a dead guy in the trunk,
Are you okay?
-Were you bringing drugs? -What?
No, no, I have no idea what it was, I'm just the mule,
In your vagina,
In a bag,
It's super easy in a bag or a condom,
They put it in so it won't break inside the condom,
add a little Vaseline, take a deep breath,,,
and it slides right in,
What?
Well,
I have friends who told me,,,
In a bag in the fucking car I came in,
Okay, sorry,
Diana,
you have to trust me,
I know I have
zero credibility right now,,,
You're right, I don't believe a word,
I need your help,
Wait here, I'll be right back,
Are you calling your dad?
If I say I'm with you, he'll probably send an army,
Cuevas?-Santa, Call me Santa,
-Did you make it? -Yeah,
I'm glad,
Look, I couldn't sleep last night and,,,
I'll probably be a little late,
there's lots of traffic and I had to stop to rest and,,,
Oh, sweetie, You don't like keeping people informed, eh?
Make the delivery or things will get very ugly,
Never play around with people's dreams,
Have you thought about having dinner with me?
Diana,
I promise I'll explain everything,
I'm going to keep calling him, he has to answer me,
Help me,
I've put up with my wife for 40 years,
If she insists, don't go back,
-And turn that thing off, -Yes, officer,
Drive carefully, And stop to rest if you haven't slept,
-you look terrible, -Thank you, officer,
Shit, bro, Bring it down a notch in front of me, will you?
Damn this traffic!
Can you hear me?
Lu!
I need your charger,
I got the job I wanted,
In fact, in a few days,,,
they're going to announce that I got promoted,
I don't know if it's because I'm good,,,
or,,,
only because I hid myself at work
like a bitter obsessive compulsive freak
after racking my fucking brain for three months
trying to figure out why the fuck you left,
I never understood if it was because I did something wrong,,,
or,,,
it was just a dream I was having by myself,
Or if I was actually going crazy,
But now,,,
everything is fine,
Besides that, everything is the same as when you left me,
I'm just saying, in case you're curious,
I did what I had to do,
Oh, yeah?
Would you prefer that I lied to you? I didn't want to lie,
I would have preferred a thousand times for you to lie,
Go right ahead, don't mind me,
All I can think about is the dead body in back,
Let's see,,, Trade places with me,
-Why? -Because I'm Mexican,
I know what to do, slide over,
I have a gun on me too,
Okay, let's see,
What we do in these cases, we all stay calm
and act completely natural,
Mexican, hot Latina,
She's a colleague from the LAPD,
The police in Los Angeles, Hollywood,
Answer it,
Yes,
Lu,
Where are you?
Hang up the phone, please,
We're going to my wedding,
They're girlfriends,
Maids of honor,
-Miss! -Tonight's the bachelorette party
and it's going to be super hot
because they're unstoppable, You have no idea,
Hot shit,
Open the back, please,
Open the back,
Don't look, don't look,
Stay quiet, don't look,
Hello?
Hey! Lu!
-Lu! -I have no coverage,
Where are you, damn it? I need that fucking bag right now!
Hey, relax, I had no fucking idea the bag was here,
I just passed a police checkpoint with it,
-Lu! Can you hear me? -What?
We're going to die,
No, we aren't,
-What's happening? -Lu!
There he is!
Lu!
Listen,,,
Give me your location and I'll catch up to you,
I need that fucking,,, Damn phone!
-Slow down! -I'm driving slow,
Get out,
Call me when you can, okay?
Thanks,
McConaughey,
What?
McConaughey!
It's you, McConaughey! Look,
Yes, it's McConaughey, it's McConaughey!
Olé, McConaughey!
Son of a bitch!
SAINT PANCRAS RETIREMENT HOME
Okay, here,
Yes, Mamita, I don't have time for details,
I need to please talk to your friend and ask him,,,
Yes, Please, ask him if he can help us,
Yes, Mamita, she's her ex,
Yes, Mom, a dead guy in my trunk,
Please,
Yes, Call him, call him!
Thanks,
Cuevas sent me,
Yes, wait there, I'll call him,
-Where is he? -He got sick, His chest hurt a lot,
They won't let me go in, I didn't want to leave him, I'm sorry,
It's okay, you did the right thing,
-Did they say anything else? -No, just to wait,
Who is she?
Relax, Mom,
I'll explain, now is not the time,
Explain what? She's pregnant,,,
Let's go outside,
What did she say about your father? I didn't get that,
We'll ask right now,
What did she say about your father?
That woman,,,
I knew it!
How could I know,,,
Son of a bitch! Son of a,,,
Mom, I didn't know how to tell you,
He's my dad too and he was,,,
Shut up, You knew,,,
You knew!
-Paulina García? -Me,
-Mr, Ramos,,, -She isn't his family,
Mr, Ramos went into cardiac arrest
and he needs to be kept under observation,
It's possible
he had a coronary condition
caused by consuming Sildenafil,
It's a sexual stimulant,
A sexual stimulant?
We're not aware of the consequences of our actions,
My dad once said you can know too much and he's right,
My mother reported Paulina,
She couldn't stop herself,
It was her decision and, like my father,
I had to respect it,
Excuse me,
Excuse me!
End of the hall on the left,
She's on her way,
Good morning, family! How is the personnel?
-Good morning, Torrente, -How are we doing?
What's up, Antoñito? You don't greet customers?
Pay your tab, Torrente,
You owe me 36 euros in whiskey,
Come on, Antoñito, Are we friends or not?
Give me some churros and a brandy with anisette,
You brought dessert, right?
Excuse me?
Are you new?
Yes,
A young person, how nice!
If only I were your age,,,
Just look at me now, I'm a yogi,
Ma'am, do you know who's in charge or who I can give this to, please?
Very good for the bones, very good,
I'm busting out of here, eh? I'm busting out,
My daughter is out there and she calls me every night,
She's like that, just like you,
-Who can I,,,? -I just don't like these movies,
Yeah,,,
Can you tell me who I can give this to?
Nobody, nobody, nobody calls us here,
None of us,
That's why I have to keep it quiet or they'll make my life miserable,
They'll ruin my life, they get,,,
Look, see what I mean?
They're jealous of me,
These party poopers,
What are you doing here?
I thought you were waiting outside,
Me?
Matilde, go back to your seat or you'll miss dessert!
Not a word about what we said, eh?
Matilde, please!
Sorry, sweetie, she's deaf and she never shuts up,
The poor thing sits here every night waiting for her daughter to call,
But her daughter couldn't care less,
She put her in here and took off because she found a boyfriend
and the boyfriend said: "Either your mother or me,"
And since the daughter is only after money,,,
Ma'am, are you in charge? I need to deliver this,
Oh, I'm so glad, otherwise they get so,,,
Sweetie, give me a hand, don't leave yet,
No, I have to go, ma'am,
No, you have to help me out,
Don't leave me holding the bag, Here, this is for you,
You take the right side and I'll take the left,
Kiddies, time for dessert!
Everybody chew, okay?
No shoving as much as you can in your mouth like a maniac,
I will have none of that, Let's see,
Slowly, slowly, here we go,
Make the delivery or things will get very ugly,
One for you,
Another for you,,, Slowly, please,
Look how happy they get
when I bring them tasty muffins,
Dentures out,
Very important, dentures out, you don't want to swallow them,
We have a big problem,
What?
There's one missing,
What?
There's one missing!
Thanks,
Hi,
-Are you there? -Yeah, are you?
Close your eyes, I want to give you a surprise,
I've had a rough day,
I'm in no mood for surprises,
Close your eyes, I want it to be special,
Is that an order?
Don't piss me off the first day,
I just want you to know I had a setback, okay?
Don't be scared by my face,
Open them,
Hi,
How are you?
Good,
Good?
You're not what I was expecting,
Neither are you,
-What happened to you? -It's been a very long day,
But better now,
Should we sit,,,? I mean,,,
What can I get you?
I was very excited to meet you,
Me too,
-Ma'am,,, -There are diamonds missing,
-Diamonds missing! -No, no, wait, wait,
Please calm down, this is a misunderstanding,
It's a long story, I had no idea what was in the bag
but he's going to pick up the phone,
They always say that,
No, really, he's going to pick up,
He's nearby, just wait a second,
What's up? I can't talk, leave a message,
He's probably driving,,,
Sweetie, we can fix this,,,
Nobody moves or I'll blow your fucking head off,
Did you hear me?
No, no!
-Hold still! -No!
All of a sudden,
in one second everything can change again,
He's calling, he's calling, he's calling!
Yes, who am I speaking to?
No, Macarena can't come to the phone, the poor thing,
Who are you?
Lo? Low-cost? Louie? Lu,,,?
Are you better?
I brought you apples,
The ones you like,
Your daughter can't come today because she got a job
to solve what's due,
She's very brave,
Like her mother,
Well, Paco, I've tried to do my part,
With this last dog,,,
A fantastic animal, so nice, I take baths with him and everything,
So noble, so good,,,
And I think they'll give us,,,
a nice amount of money when they come looking,
I,,,
Carmela, since when,,,?
What is this dog thing?
I did it to help, Paco,
Because I missed you a lot,
A lot, Paco,
A lot,
Me too, my love,
I can hear you two breathing! It'll never come out this way,
Okay,
Gross, man,
Count them! Count them!
We're coming, hold on a second!
There it is,
Smell that,
I broke a nail,,,
We all try to fight for our dreams,,,
My nail broke, I leaned over to get it,,,
Right when the man crossed the road,
No, no, no, Definitely not intentional,
Peter Lamber, wanted in three states,
was trying to cross the border to Mexico,
Mimí Badhú's daughter, pending trial,
is about to make a statement,
Here she is,
And of course we all want
to feel special,
feel listened to,,,
Mom, listen, I know, I really want to see you, but,,,
I can't with work right now, Can you hear what I'm saying?
Yes, darling, but try to call me at least twice a week,,,
Feel taken care of, respected,
loved,
To not lose the desire to keep living,
Or, simply, for some of us,,,
to find a place,
No matter how badly I want to start over,
I can't forget you,
No matter how hard I try to erase you I remember
and can't stop loving you,
You were like a tree in my life,,,
Some people simply try to follow the path in front of them,
Diana never understood what I did for my father
or that I kept it from her, I loved her but she never forgave me,
Like I said, we set ourselves apart,
All the beautiful things,
all the emotions, we enjoyed together,
A whole world filled with dreams we forged together,
It's not impossible to understand the reality
that a love like this can never end,
It's necessary and we need so badly
to be honest,
The two of us have the chance
to bring back the happiness,
If we face each other and accept
that we still love each other,
You were like a tree in my life
giving me the gift of your shade,
A natural spring that refreshes me
and quenches my thirst,
All the beautiful things, all the emotions,
we enjoyed together,
A whole world filled with dreams
we forged together,
It's not impossible to understand the reality
that a love like this can never end,
It's necessary and we need so badly to be honest,
The two of us have the chance
to bring back the happiness
if we face each other and accept
that we still love each other,