MOVIE MADE BY THE GRACE OF GOD
Mircea Popa, prosecutor,
Prosecutor Popa,
Prosecutor, Mircea Popa,
I can't believe it, You put on the shirt by yourself,
I'm sure you wrinkled it, Have something to eat,
Something from the buffet, Everything is free,
Mum, I'm too nervous to eat before an exam,
The admission will take four hours, Do you want to faint?
Don't insist! I might be late,
Isn't he handsome?
He's so nervous,
He's taking an exam to become a prosecutor,
If you ever have problems, call us in Gherla and it's solved,
-You already told me, -It doesn't hurt to say it twice,
Right,
-Have a nice day! -You too,
Honey, wait for me!
Five minutes left,
Get ready to finish!
-See, you should have eaten, -Just leave me alone!
You'll try again next year,
You'll come back home with us, have your own room,
and I'll never bother you,
I'll speak to the girls in Financial Administration
and we'll find you a job, to gain some experience,
Forget your connections! Could you stay out of it?
I was thinking…
Don't tell everyone that you failed the exam,
Don't tell anyone you want to take it again next year,
It's not that I don't trust you, but people talk, Okay?
I told my kid, if you are good and mind your own business,
you'll get to prison,
As a security guard in prison, you're set for life, trust me,
Hi, Mircea!
Lena's son, from the Financial Administration,
Too much school and still living with his mum,
-Hi! -Can I get a coffee?
Guatemala, Ethiopia, India, Brazil?
Regular with milk and sugar, With extra milk,
- A straw as well? - Do I have to use one?
How about some milk and cocoa? It's morning, after all…
Oh, I shouldn't drink it with milk,
Then sugar, no milk,
Brown sugar?
You mean, black?!
- Isn't it bitter? - That's how it should to be,
Get me a black coffee,
Great! I like strong-minded men,
- How is it? - Different,
What can I get you?
A white coffee,
I graduated Law in Cluj with a general 9,66/10,
I got my Degree in Administrative Law, I think I can be useful in your company,
I like you, I want to see how you're doing,
Make yourself useful and bring a coffee with milk and lots of sugar,
I did overtime with a lady last night and I'm exhausted,
I'm here for the legal advisor position,
I can help you in legal matters,
Yes, Bring me a coffee the legal way, You buy it, not steal it,
What are you doing? Lying in bed in your dirty clothes?
Get up!
Take off your trousers, I'm washing dark clothes,
Hurry up! What are you waiting for?
I struggle to keep the house clean and tidy up
and you come and lie down on the clean sheets,
- Oh, mister legal advisor! How is it? - Fine,
The garbage sector is good?
I don't deal with garbage, I work in an office,
Office work?
Do you know what you are? Some kind of man secretary,
Whatever you say, that's not a man's job,
Better than unclogging toilets, I don't stink when I get home,
Unclogging toilets helped me raise you, Everything you have was earned like that,
Where do you think I got money to buy you all kinds of bullshit?
- Don't you have anything to do? Get lost! - I don't mean any harm,
We could use an extra salary in this house,
But knowing him… he won't last more than two months in this company,
- I feel pity for you! - Just let him be, don't be upset,
Take your trousers off so I can wash them,
I broke up with him,
He suggested I should join him at the gym, Does he mean I'm fat?
Listen… Can you send me your vanilla cake recipe?
Please, send it on WhatsApp, Take care! Bye!
Man, I can tell you're new here, You really feel like working,
- In one month, you'll take it easy, - What do you do?
These packages are for the journalists,
This is for a lady from the Environmental Guard,
- Why? - What? So we are friends with everyone,
We don't need new clients, We are a sanitation company,
On a 10-year contract with the townhall, Time flies, we get money,
We just focus on the people who look after us,
But is this thing legal?
Is it legal to tip a waiter who was extremely nice to you?
You see?
Let me give you an original tracksuit,
It costs 150 euros in store, I'll give it to you for 80,
- It's not really my style… - I feel sick when I hear you say that,
Look at you! You're a young man…
And… you're young, Wearing a pensioner's clothes,
- What car have you got? - That Golf over there,
Oh man, no shag in plan for you,
70 euros, because we are colleagues, I can't believe you can't afford it,
Okay, give it to me!
- Red or green? - Green!
- Green, What size? - S,
It looks better in an M size,
If you want to get laid, get rid of that crap car,
- May I help? - No,
I'll get you a new car,
Had I been seven years younger, I would've dated you both,
Mirciulica, you haven't told me what a lovely view you have here,
- I'd get such a job myself, - What are you doing here?
But why are you still here? It's time to go home,
Greetings to the boss!
Are you giving me a lift home?
Cucu, stop coming to my office, You'll get me in trouble,
You have two cute problems there I can deal with,
I'll solve them, don't worry,
Where's your car? Weren't you a Uber driver in Cluj?
I lost my driving licence,
- How did it happen? - I got drunk,
- Did you get caught driving? - No, I can't find my licence,
And what's the plan?
I need to go see a woman right now,
I meant, your plan in general, About money and…
You're 40, remember?
Everyone is trying to get more money… for what?
They want to get clothes, cars and apartments,
Do you know why? So they can impress women,
I don't need money, Women love me as I am,
Do you know when women are home alone? When men are at work,
That's why I don't have a job, Stop here!
- What? - Stop here!
Careful,
- Mircea, this is Mariana! - Hi!
- Mircea, my cousin, - Actually, he's my uncle,
Shut up and drive us to the city center,
- Do I look like a taxi driver? - Do you think I have money for taxi?
- I've missed you, - I don't believe that,
I don't know what got into me,
I do know,
Stop here for five minutes, I need to get something, Only five minutes,
Did you get what you needed?
I hope I didn't get anything, But she got a lot from me,
- For half an hour? Really? - I'm not young anymore,
What do you tell them? You don't have money,
- What are your lines? - I tell them I really like them,
I pay them fancy compliments like 'You are my sun, my wonder,
you are my star, my life and I can't live a second without you…'
Why that look? You can't imagine how much they love it,
- But these are very cheap lines, - You're right, but listen to me,
You're a handsome, educated guy so nicely-dressed…
If you tell them my lines, you can easily have them,
Really?
No, I've just paid you a cheap compliment, You fell for it, didn't you?
That's how women fall for it, Get it now?
None of these damn chickens has laid any eggs,
- Isn't it a bit late to come home? - I had to wait for him to finish work,
- How are you, my dear? - I'm fine, busy working,
What do you do at work all day?
I deal with paperwork, study laws, stuff like that,
This sounds like light office work, It means you're not tired at all,
You can give me a hand to water the garden,
It hasn't rained in two days,
Is your phone ringing?
Yes, it's ringing, Give me a minute,
You just can't be bothered to work, can you?
Why work so hard for a couple of tomatoes and potatoes?
I can get them for you from the market,
What should I do if I don't work? Go to the village pub?
Or should I watch TV all day and go crazy?
That's better than working hard,
If I didn't work, we'd have two lazy people in the house,
Yeah,
Lazy man! Aren't you done talking on the phone?
- Did I tell you I missed you? - You should be ashamed,
Don't be lazy at work, The world is full of lazy people,
You people and your phones!
Hi, mum!
Ask her if she forgot the way to my place,
I'm helping grandma in Chinteni,
I took you a good school, yet you prefer the countryside,
Let's not fight, I have work to do, We'll speak when I get home,
What are you wearing?
Busy talking to your women?
- I'm helping her pick what to wear, - You're the best person to ask,
Can I borrow your purse for a wedding? I'll give it back,
- I will if you take care of it, - I'll be careful,
The car has driven 150k km, it's like brand new,
Driven only in 5th gear,
It's full option,
Hello, boss!
Boss, you look great! Have you lost weight?
The hell I did!
Mister Codreanu!
Sit down!
Look what he's doing,
- Mister Codreanu! - Yes,
I'd like to get more involved at work, I'm wasting my time,
I'd take on extra tasks, learn new things,
I like your attitude, I have a job for you,
Today you're taking my wife shopping in Cluj,
Are we looking at some documents, are you buying a flat or land?
No, man! She's shopping for clothes and shoes,
What does the company have to do with that?
What? She's buying brand clothes with the company money,
Here she is!
Mirela, today you're going shopping with Mircea,
What a young and cute driver I have today!
Oh…
Take care of the car, And of the wife,
Let's go!
Hello, madam!
Screw you, Mirciulica!
These or these ones?
All four look good on you,
You're sweet, please call me Mirela,
We are the same age, My husband is the older one,
Mircea, come here for a sec!
Please, help me!
- With what? - With the zipper,
You hurt my skin!
Sorry, I didn't mean it,
- Mircea, take it easy! - Forgive me!
Thanks,
- Thank you for coming with me, - You're welcome!
Tell me, do you like it at the office?
Yes, a lot, I have the opportunity to grow and evolve,
How about your colleagues?
They are great, involved and hard-working,
- Mr Vasile has got a great team, - Yes, right, Very hard-working people,
They got the jobs thanks to a connection, There were no more jobs at the town hall,
That's how things work here,
Maybe Mr, Vasile wants to help people,
But of course, That's why he's hiring all his mistresses, to help them,
You're a really decent guy, way above the trash working there,
If you stay in Gherla, you'll ruin your life, trust me,
I thought about taking the exam and becoming a prosecutor,
You should do that, It's a clean job,
And you're also cute,
- Tell me, are you seeing anyone? - Do you mean girls?
Whatever you like, I don't judge,
I like girls, I mean women,
I'm not seeing anyone at the moment,
But I had at least two relationships,
You're so sweet,
I like you to bits,
You can keep the car for tonight,
So, prosecutor, right?
Here's the driver! You forgot your white gloves at home,
- What are these? - Documents that need to be signed,
You're also the legal adviser, right?
- What are you doing? - I'm reading the documents,
Do you think you're at the library? Are you supposed to read or sign?
Shouldn't I know what I'm signing?
Your job is to match the papers with the situation, not to ask questions,
I don't know the situation on the field,
I see, Let's go and see!
Come on, don't make that face,
If you had signed the papers, you wouldn't have to come here,
All the garbage from Gherla is here, The Europeans are making us close the ramp
and take all the garbage to the ecological landfill in Cluj,
You have to sign that we took 1,000 tones this months,
- Did we? - You're so innocent, Of course we didn't,
You have to sign, otherwise they'll close the ramp,
We'll have to take the garbage 60 km away, the company loses money, and so do we,
- But it's not ok! - That's how things are everywhere,
Occupied!
Stupid of me!
PLEASE DON'T WATER THE FLOWERS ANYMORE!
Naughty man! You went to the ladies's room!
The men toilet was occupied,
Come on, let's go!
Where?
To Cluj, Didn't Vasile tell you? I have a massage appointment,
I'll be ready in two minutes,
Radu, help me, I need a shirt,
I have a nice shirt,
but you also need blue jeans for it, 200 euros both, Special price for you,
- What's the address? - I've changed my mind,
We'll go to a hotel, Hotel Athos,
Okay…
But this stays between us,
It will be our little secret,
Wait for me,
- For how long? - Until I'm done,
Listen, Cucu, I'm at a hotel with a girl,
I can't hear you very well,
Tell me!
I'll go now, I'm busy,
Are you the one who drove her here? Thanks a bunch,
She is a pro, Why did you call me?
Are you crazy? With my boss's wife? Getting me into a delicate position,
If you could see her position…
You idiot! I drove her here, What if my boss finds out?
- Tell him I owe him one, - Really now! What should I tell him?
He thinks I took her to a massage,
Tell him you got distracted… and she ended up in a room with a guy,
No, you can't say that,
Tell him that you accidentally got her to bed with your uncle,
- Shut the fuck up! - No, that won't work either,
- You know what? Do the Cucu way, - Which is?
Don't answer the phone and quit your job,
Man, I can't quit my job,
You tell him the truth and he will fire you,
I need a recommendation so I can enter the Magistracy,
Then he mustn't find out, You can count on me, I won't say a word,
Not only you won't tell a soul, but you'll never see her again,
- One more time and I stop, - No way!
Man… We might be relatives, but you can't ask me just anything,
She is so hot!
- I'll tell grandma, - Okay, fine,
But you owe me one,
I'm done!
Shall we go?
Mircea!
Are you deaf? Mircea!
Mircea!
What are you doing? Sleeping? Come here!
Come in!
Have a seat!
Yeah…
So, what do you think?
CLEANING UP
Sanitation company, broom, dustpan, Starting the cleaning, get it?
I wasn't really interested…
but they kept insisting and I decided to help them out,
I also thought that… I proved my ability here in Gherla,
- Didn't I? - Sure,
Right…
But the big contracts are in Bucharest, Mirciulica,
They treat you differently once you become a deputy,
What can I say? Congratulations! Good luck!
One more thing…
What did you do with my wife in Cluj yesterday?
I took her to a massage,
Massage?
She was so relaxed when she came home, I'd go there too,
I work with garbage, but I have an excellent smell, I can tell right away,
Be careful with her, as she looks for attention,
You know the supermarket trolleys?
They have three wheels and one keeps going sideways,
She's like that wheel, Mircea, If you're not careful, she'll run away,
I know those trolleys,
If I run for Parliament, it will be worse,
If she fools around and people find out, it's a disaster for me,
If a man fools around, good for him,
Like Base and Nuti,
Monica and Bill…
Bill Clinton, You got it, right?
If the woman cheats on you, it's really bad,
Right…
I got to know you, Mirciulica,
Yeah… I trusted you,
And it was worth it,
It really was,
You're different from your lazy colleagues, I have an idea,
I'll give you a separate office,
As they say, if you put a good apple next to rotten ones,
it will rot too, right?
Thank you,
Have an apple,
Thank you,
What are these rags you're wearing?
It's a tracksuit,
It makes you look like a parrot, I told you not to buy clothes by yourself,
- You only buy crap, - Mum, please, I'm not ten anymore,
What's wrong with you? You've been rude lately,
- What are you up to? - You punish me like in school?
That's the way to speak, after I found you a job?
- You did what? - Well, yeah…
What any mother would do, I spoke to Vasile to hire you,
I asked you not to intervene, Why didn't you stay out?
Do you think a Law degree will get you a job right away?
There are thousands of graduates every year
and they're all looking for jobs,
You were incredibly lucky,
Vasile will become MP and you'll be his right hand,
What are you doing?
Dinner is ready, Where are you going?
Jesus, I can't even look at you, My eyes hurt,
You don't like it?
I do, Give it to me to put in the garden and scare away the crows eating the corn,
Right, I'll sleep at your place tonight, I want to study and it's quiet here,
Why so much studying?
I want to take the exam again to be a prosecutor,
May God help you!
Go and kill a chicken so I can make you some stew,
- Me, kill it? - Who else?
- I've never killed a chicken, - You can start now,
I can't, I feel sorry for it,
So you want to be a prosecutor and catch thieves
but you can't even catch a chicken,
Take off that tracksuit! You're scaring my chicken away,
Wait!
Eat! Don't just stare like that,
- It's good! - I hope you enjoyed it,
- Hi! - Hi!
- How are you? - I'm fine, How about you?
It must be cool to have a coffee shop in Gherla,
How did you get this idea?
I want people in Gherla to enjoy a good coffee,
Cool! Can I have a good coffee?
Black, right?
No, a long espresso with milk and sugar,
You forgot how to drink coffee…
No, I decided to drink it as I like it,
Okay, then, A long espresso, milk and sugar,
- You owe me one, - Really? Why?
I drank a black one, like you said,
You haven't tried a sweet one, to my taste,
- Are you asking me out for a coffee? - Indeed,
- Don't you think I've had enough coffee? - I do, but it will be different,
Coffee from a vending machine, A 2-lei coffee, instead of 11 lei,
But… I don't even know you,
- I'm Mircea, nice to meet you, - I'm Ioana,
Hi, Ioana!
- Nice to meet you, - Me too,
Just one more,
One more,
PERMANENT HAIR REMOVAL SALON
What are you doing here?
People working with garbage go and get waxed?
I'm waiting for my boss's wife,
Oh, I do apologize to the driver,
I'll call you in the afternoon to come and get me from the pub,
Don't give me that look, I'll pay for it,
Dear citizens of Gherla, I decided to candidate because the people here
deserve to be represented by an honest, man who wants to clean the country,
So help me God!
Shut up! I can't stand you anymore!
Bye!
Can I book a table for two, at 7 pm?
Just come and see if you are lucky to find a table,
Do you think you are in Cluj? Is this guy for real?
Cucu!
Are you crazy?
Mirciulica! I'm so glad you're here,
Help me carry something inside,
- Inside the house? - Where else? In the house, of course,
Come on!
Did you hear me on the radio? I hadn't even prepared for it,
You can't learn manipulation, You must be born with it,
It's a gift from God,
- You've got a new car, - Do you like it?
Everybody said I shouldn't buy it while I'm running the campaign,
I got what I wanted,
- Aren't you taking me for a ride? - A ride?
You need a training to get in, Look what it can do, See?
It goes up automatically, Wait for it…
It goes… down,
Look at the rifles I got myself, What do you think?
- Blind bullets? - No, real bullets,
Are they loaded now?
No idea,
I was joking,
- Take the boxes and let's go, - Which boxes?
I see two, If you see more, take three,
- Take these two first, - I'll take this one first,
Take any of them and let's go upstairs,
Mirela! Come and see what I've got, Beautiful, right?
Hi, Mimi! This is Mimi, Come in!
- You have a really nice house, - Yeah, Mirela did the design,
Let's take them upstairs,
Mirela! Come and see!
Can't you hear me?
What's happening? Mircea, come here quickly!
Isn't this your uncle?
Yes, he is,
I fixed the leaky gasket, that's 100 lei and 50 lei for coming here,
You're lucky I came quickly, to prevent the flooding,
- How much? - 200,
Hold these!
That's is what a clever guy does,
You get the husband to pay so you screw his wife,
Are you out of your mind?
You came to his house, Didn't you see he had a rifle?
But Mirela still prefers my rifle, I got away with it so well,
This is a superhero costume, It's been already tested,
Who is the most respected man in Romania? The handyman!
You promised you wouldn't see her again,
But she insisted,
- She insisted… - Yes, she did,
- And what did she say? - She just said… "Come",
I couldn't say no,
I've been with many women, but Mirela is like good music,
Mi Re La…
You I need a paper from my boss to become a prosecutor,
- Do you want to fuck me up? - Not you, But Mirela anytime,
He wants to become an MP, If he finds out, we're screwed,
Let me ask you something, Do you believe in God?
- Give me a break! - Well, I do,
I also believe he gave each of us a mission,
My mission is to make women happy, to make them love me,
Can I go against the will of our Lord Jesus Christ?
- Have you been here before? - You know I'm from Gherla,
- So, it's yes, - Right,
- The river Somes is cool, - Super cool!
WELCOME TO SANDANY
Double 4, here we go,
- Aren't you Mirciulica, Elena's son? - Yes, that's me,
You're all grown up,
You used to be a kid and now you're dating girls,
Good for you!
I'll give you my 30% employee discount,
- Thank you, - You're welcome,
- What can I get you? - Salmon pasta,
- Pasta? - Salmon pasta,
Yeah, right,
- It was on the menu, - And the moon is made of green cheese,
How about roast pork neck? I mean real food,
- OK, roast pork neck, - That's it,
- And the young lady? - A salad, please,
- Plain salad? - Greek salad,
I'm vegetarian,
That's fine,
Jesus, kids know everything nowadays!
- Tell me about yourself, - What do you want to know?
I don't know… Do you have any siblings?
No,
- What do you do? - I run a coffee shop, you know,
Oh, yeah, right,
I meant, do you do something else?
- Yes, I'm also a doctor, - No way!
No, of course not, just joking,
What do you do?
I'm legal adviser at a sanitation company,
But this is a temporary thing, I want to become a prosecutor,
That's nice, but why?
A prosecutor has a good social status,
So you just want the status,
No, I want to make myself useful and clean up this country,
Don't you do enough in the sanitation company?
The truth is I'm living with my parents and I want to move out,
I got it,
But don't worry, I've got enough money,
I haven't got my salary yet, so I borrowed form my mum, I'll pay her back of course,
I'm okay,
Roasted pork neck for Mirciulica,
- I asked them to give you a bigger piece, - Thank you,
- And salad for the young lady, - Thank you,
You're welcome,
You'll starve with this girl, kiddo,
Enjoy!
- Is it ok to go inside? - No, it's illegal,
But we'll have a good coffee for just 2 lei,
- If we get caught… - Will you wait ten years?
Only ten?
Coffee with milk and sugar,
Come on, you can do it!
I haven't been so nervous since my graduation exam,
- You only live once, - God help me,
The fuck!
It's much worse than I imagined,
- Do I have to drink it all? - I'll drink half of it,
- What are you doing here? - I told you so!
Mircea, come here!
This is the murder weapon, Hold it!
- Hello, guys! - Oh, mister prosecutor,
Boss!
Mircea!
- What's the prosecutor's job? - He investigates crime…
You're so innocent!
The prosecutor makes sure there's alcohol and women,
No women this time, But we have guys who play music,
See?
- Musicians, - Of course,
Good luck hunting!
- Best of luck! - Best of luck!
Mircea, come here!
Have a sip! Take a sip!
Why are you wearing this fleece?
- It's a bit chilly in the forest, - Then drink to warm up,
Hello?
Tell the guys chasing the deer to get them tired and push them our way,
Make sure it's not like last time,
Did they hear that?
Did you hear me?
I think they did,
God damn deer! They won't stay still,
That's it!
You might be the prosecutor, but I sentenced it to death,
Mircea, let's go!
- Cheers, guys! - Cheers!
Mirciulica, not like that, Hunters cheer with their left hand,
That's it!
If I die, they'll bury me
Relu, stop singing about death,
Hands,
Sing a song about us lads,
When I was a child…
- That's a good one, boss! - Come on!
When I was a child, I knew nothing
I lived a happy life
My heart didn't feel any longing or heartache
Before I met you, my darling
Mirciulica, I like you so much!
You're such a nice guy,
Let me tell you…
If I get the MP position,
I… have to go and live in Bucharest,
And I have to leave the company,
I need someone to take over,
And that's you, Mirciulica,
You, not Radu…
Radu can't be trusted, let's be serious,
So, here's the plan,
You'll manage the company here
and I'll take all the important decisions,
Like they do with Steaua FC,
You're the coach and I'll be Gigi, the owner,
Gigi Becali,
I appreciate it and I wanted to talk to you about this,
You know… I…
I've read your mind, didn't I? You like the idea,
I want to give Magistracy a try,
Give it a try, I do the same thing in a way,
I give my part to people in the magistracy and the police,
to make everything go smoothly,
You didn't get it, I want to become a prosecutor,
I'm taking an exam in two months,
You mean…
- Are you planning to leave? - Yeah,
And leave me after all I did for you?
- What can I do now? - What? I could have hired anyone else,
But I listened to your mother because I used to like her,
Why this look? We were young when it happened,
Once, maybe twice,
- Excuse me? - Forget about it,
You know prosecutors are corrupt, Why do you want to become one?
I want to be a good prosecutor,
A good prosecutor…
Good to yourself or to us?
That's it Relu! I'm coming!
I would think twice if I were you,
Wait, don't start yet,
May the hunters live a long life!
May the hunters have a long life!
She went to the gynecologist, holding her belly,
Maybe it's food poisoning,
- Do you know what a gynecologist is? - The loser who only looks,
- Can you be serious? - Maybe she's pregnant,
Well, so what?
You're sick, man! Can you guess who the father is?
- How? I'm not her guardian, - Maybe it's yours,
Maybe it's mine, maybe not, Your boss could be the father,
Actually, no, They haven't slept together for six months, This is not good,
- Do you know what this means? - Yes, I do,
That you can't trust women,
Can you imagine if he sees her pregnant?
There will be some trouble,
Do you know what the good news is? I've got a new car,
Look, that's daddy's girl, Look how clean it is,
Easy!
- Do you like it? - Where did you get the money?
May God bless Liverpool! I won a bet,
- Let's go for a ride, - Forget about that,
What about Mirela?
It's simple, We have to get her to sleep with her husband,
You need to be wise to get out of trouble, I can find solutions for everything,
Let's go for a ride!
Hi! I brought you some flowers, They're from me, not from him,
They're for you…
Thank you,
They are very nice,
And… How's it going?
Pretty fine,
- How about you? - I was just passing by,
I thought of bringing you the flowers, Since I was around anyway,
Come on…
We won't watch,
Well done!
I'm going now, See you soon,
Take care of her, She's a great girl,
Can't we get a coffee for cheering for you?
He can be anything he wants to be in this life,
But he should live with me for a month or two,
There's no place like home,
I'm very quiet so he can rest,
So where should I buy cheese? Not from them!
Mr, Mircea, what a nice office!
Why are these here? Take them away,
I have a business proposal,
You drive the boss's wife to beauty saloons and hairdresser's,
Sell the products and we'll go fifty-fifty on the profit,
I'm not into this, Take them away, please,
Your loss, You have some papers to sign,
What are you doing? You're not at the library,
- Checking what I am signing, - This is serious stuff,
There was a fire at our landfill last night,
This a statement to the police that it was a case of arson,
Okay,
We can't say that we did it,
- So it was us… - Officially, no,
Can you imagine the impact on the campaign if they found out it was us?
- Why did you start the fire? - Because it was full,
We couldn't take the garbage to Cluj,
Too expensive, We need money for the campaign,
- But it pollutes a lot, - Right, but there's a catch,
If we write a complaint, we are the victims,
It's not us who pollute, but the arsonists trying to harm the boss,
But it's illegal, I'll be accomplice,
Man!
Cut the crap! I don't have time to explain,
Make sure you sign the statement, We'll sent it by tonight,
I'm not signing anything, got it?
Mircea, come to my office!
- I'm coming in his place, - I asked Mircea,
God damn it, it's too small,
You've got to record a video for Facebook,
- How do I look? - Fine,
Yes? Ok, where should I look? That way, right?
Make sure you get the cross,
Ready?
Dear citizens of Gherla, since I decided to run for office,
I've noticed I'm bothering some people,
Because I promised I would do some cleaning in the Parliament,
some people are trying to stop me,
I'm ok with that, they can do anything to me,
but I won't tolerate that they set the landfill on fire,
create a lot of smoke in the city and damarg…
Again… And to damedg…
Cut this part,
And to harm your health!
I promise I won't have peace until I find out who is playing with fire,
The best of health, all the best and God help us!
I fooled them, right? I think they bought it,
The people in Gherla are so stupid,
You can edit it and then post it, I want to see it by tomorrow morning,
- Yes, - Are we done? Now go back to work,
You deserve some pie for helping me clear this place,
Can your mom bake pie?
I bet she can't,
She's afraid she might ruin her nails if the comes here,
- How are things with your girlfriend? - Fine,
Who are her parents?
I don't know, She's form Gherla, I don't know everyone in town,
Young people don't know anything nowadays, I know everybody in my village,
How does that help you?
If you know the family, you know the man,
- How about Cucu? - He is from grandpa Sandu's side,
Hey, mister…
Keep it down!
Your father,
Give me a break! I've had a really hard day,
People are not normal,
You can't imagine what they throw down the toilet, Tampons, toys…
Your dad…
I even found a legal adviser diploma,
I can understand that, What else could you do with it?
- Could you change the topic? - Thank you for dinner,
- See what you've done? Eat some more, - I'm full,
Don't you like my soup anymore?
The coffee girl you're seeing… Does she cook better?
Excuse me?
I know who you're seeing, I know everything that moves in this town,
I know everything, I'm like a GPS,
Couldn't you find a better girl? How stupid can you be?
- Give me a break! - Right…
Do you know Maria, Georgeta's daughter?
She's a good girl, she graduated from Medical School,
Unlike that bartender or whatever…
Mind your perfect life! In two months I'll be off to Bucharest,
- Your match-making is not for me, - We'll see,
- What are you doing? - Eating,
That's the example you've set for him all his life,
That's why he treats me like that,
My longing time is here
I say that I don't want its help anymore
There's silence by the river bank
Whether it's good or bad
I'd pay a fortune to know how you're feeling now
I lost you in the scenery
I'm dying for missing you
I would've loved you till dawn
Begging the night to never finish
What are you listening to?
- Play it again! - It was a commercial,
What commercial? Why are you lying to? Boom, boom in your heart,
- Can't you knock on the door? - I did, but you couldn't hear me,
- Because your heart goes boom, boom, - Are you drunk again? Get out!
Not me, You are the one drunk… in love…
Boom, boom!
Sure he can't see us? We are right by his house,
Don't worry, He doesn't know my car,
Why did you choose this white T-shirt?
- Is this your first stakeout? - No, I do this every night,
It could have been a zebra in my car, same thing,
- Are we staying long? - Until he shows up,
- Are you sure he's coming? - He should,
I sent Mirela some flowers on his behalf,
What got into him?
Maybe he wants to show that he loves you,
I'd send him a sexy picture and wait for him at home,
Would you?
Here he comes,
What a cool car he's got!
Where the hell is he going?
- Where are you going? - We're following him,
But my car is so fast, that we might overtake him,
You can't! We need at least two cars in front of us, so he doesn't notice,
Just shut up, I'm the most discreet guy ever,
- Stop acting like the fool and slow down! - I have to keep up with him,
If I speed up, I'll overtake him,
What the fuck are you doing? It's a new car, The fuck!
No big deal, Mirciulica, come! This BMW is so cool!
Are you stupid?
What the hell? Are you kissing my ass?
Sorry, boss, It wasn't me, I was in the right seat,
I'm sorry we crashed it…,
You're lucky I'm on campaign otherwise I'd break your legs,
- Deal with the papers, I have to go, - Sure, you can go home,
Did I say I was going home? I have some other business,
- I'll help you with your business, - Listen to that!
How do you want to help?
Go upstairs, get her in the mood and call me when she's ready?
I have a date, What's so hard to understand?
So, the plan went great…
And following him also went well,
Wanna know why your plan won't work?
You can't play Cupid with others if you didn't use your own arrow,
Right…
Or have you used it on the coffee girl?
- I'm not the telling type, - So, you didn't, I thought so,
Shall I drop you somewhere?
Where do you go?
I could score, since the gate is empty,
If I catch you there one more time…
- These are so good! - Aren't they?
Tell your grandma they are delicious,
Right now,
- Hello! - Good day, grandma!
I'm here with a girl, eating your pies, I wanted to tell you they're tasty,
Hello, I'm Ioana, Congratulations!
These are the best pies I have ever had,
I'm glad you like them, Where are you?
At her place,
So this is the new trend, the man brings the woman food?
Shouldn't they offer you food when you are dating?
Thank God for my pies, otherwise you'd go hungry,
Grandma, I'll go now, I can't speak now,
- Did the girl get upset? - No, not at all,
How could the truth upset you?
- Good night, grandma! - Good night to you too!
Be careful, I don't like surprises,
What should we drink? Red wine?
I can't drink, because it gets me bloated,
- Vodka? - Vodka?
- Whiskey? - Whiskey makes me sleepy,
- Beer? - I don't like the taste,
What should I offer you?
Sour cherry liquor? It's sweet and I'll drink it fast,
No, I don't,
Make a tea,
Tea, then, Mint, chamomile, roiboos, vanilla?
- A fruit tea, - OK, I'll make you a fruit tea,
Leave it to infuse for eight minutes,
I tell them I like them, I pay them really strong compliments,
You are my Sun, you are my wonder,
Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?
No, but…
What exactly do you like about me?
- I like… everything, - More details, please,
I'll take them one by one,
Your lips…
You have beautiful lips,
Then…
Your ears… are not big,
They are… just right,
And…
Your breasts… are just there, They could just as well be missing,
They are there…
That's good news, I can also say that…
Then I should mention your ass…
Leave it one more minute, Eight minutes are not up yet,
Have you seen the handsome lad?
MEN
Nothing like that has even happened here,
I made some calls, but nobody knows anything,
What's up, Radu?
I'm taking these to the car so they don't get confiscated, They are expensive,
Our legal adviser wrote a report, we ask you to conduct an investigation,
- We haven't received anything, - What do you mean?
Mircea!
Give me a second to solve this, Mircea, come here!
Excuse us for a second,
What the fuck are you doing?
- Did you send the report? - No,
- Wanna get me in trouble? - But it's illegal,
I told Radu I wouldn't sign, I'd be an accomplice,
To what? Wake up, kiddo! Guess who goes to prison nowadays,
Petty thieves and those who bother wrong people,
- I know, but… - Yeah? Do you want to bother me?
Sign it!
- I want to become a prosecutor, - I know,
You need my recommendation, So give me an autograph!
- I don't have a pen, - Legal advisor… There is one there,
Faster! They're waiting for us,
Here you are, the report is signed, I think everything is in order,
If you need anything else…
- Radu! - I'm here,
- Please see the gentlemen out, - Sure,
- All the best! - Same to you!
- Good bye! - Come on!
Hey!
- What's wrong? Are you OK? - Please, leave me alone!
Did anything happen?
Mircea, what are we doing?
For now, nothing, But tonight we could do something,
I'm not in the mood for your jokes,
- Wait a minute, - That's the problem,
I'm staying, You're going to Bucharest,
- Your mom told me, - Wait, my mum was here?
She told me you're too good for me,
- She's crazy, Don't listen to her, - I think she's right,
There's no point, We'd better break up now and go on our way,
Say something, for God's sake!
What can I say? Come to Bucharest with me,
Really? Please excuse us, we need to close,
I'm going to Bucharest, Right? As if it were that simple,
Unbelievable! You only think about yourself,
Have you ever asked me what I want?
- Well… - Well… Bye! Next please!
Why did you upset the young lady? She's so nice!
Are you really going? Could you deliver a thing for me?
- Honey! - Oh, Mirciulica! You're right on time,
- A pate toast? - No, thank you,
Doina, forget about that pate, Do you think Mircea eats pate?
He's picky, I raised him like a prince, He's here for the Finance department,
How much do you need?
- Why did you go to Ioana? - Let's not talk about that,
So I won't ruin your image of perfect mother?
- We'll go outside if you want, - Why? Everyone must know this,
My mum told my girlfriend to leave me alone, as I'm too good for her,
- The coffee shop girl? - Exactly,
She did what a mother has to do,
Don't you understand I want the best for you?
You just want to make a good impression
so they know you've raised me well and I have good job,
You don't care about my feelings,
- It's all about you, - Listen carefully!
As long as you live in my house you'll do as I say!
Mircea! Honey!
Get me some cigarettes if you're going downstairs,
I couldn't care less about your cigarettes, Mircea!
How are you? Where were you?
Look at you!
Forget about it,
Okay, Dear colleagues,
you probably know that I have to go to Bucharest,
The law says I have to leave the company, at least on paper,
I have to name another administrator, also only on paper,
I think that the best one of all of you
who can answer the phone…
is Mirciulica,
He will be the new administrator,
I've drafted the documents,
Mircea will deal with you and I'll deal with him,
Is that clear? Good, Any questions?
Boss…
Any update on the meal vouchers?
- On what? - The meal vouchers,
Why ask me? He's the administrator now, Anything else?
Everyone back to work,
And how can I help you? How many times should I tell you?
OK, let's get it over with, Stop stressing me out, Bye!
Mirciulica, the administrator is the image of the company,
You need a good car, You can't use the old one,
So, here you go, I'll leave you the BMW,
- But, Mr, Codreanu… - Stop acting crazy,
From now on, you're No, 1 in the company, Take it!
Good, Before I forget…
Here it is, Here you go, The keys to one of my apartments,
I used it on business trips, get it?
You're an administrator, You can't live with your mother,
Wait a sec,
Yes, Say that again?
How many times… No!
Sit down! That's your seat now, Sit down!
Make yourself comfortable, You look like you haven't slept in two days,
How is it? You feel powerful,
- Can I speak? - No, I don't have time,
Mirciulica, do you know what to do to keep this company working?
First of all, go and wash, you stink,
Spend a lot of money and make it non-profitable,
- Why? - What do you mean?
To prove to the Town Hall we have many expenses,
we cannot afford to keep the old taxes and we need to increase them,
I'll give you some consultancy agreements
and environment studies, stuff that don't need proof,
- Will the mayor agree to that? - Does he have a choice?
If he doesn't agree, we'll play dirty,
We won't pick up the garbage
and they'll beg us to take the money and pick them up,
See how powerful we are?
- I don't want to get involved, - You're not listening,
I'm not interested in the administrator position,
My dear boy… Do you realize you're a lucky dog?
I gave you a top job, power, money, a car and an apartment,
Some work hard all their life for less,
You picked the wrong person,
I can't figure something out, are you just stupid or rude?
Or both?
I took you under my wing, into my family, I taught you about business and now what?
- Leaving, - Where?
I'm not interested, I don't want to be involved,
You didn't get one thing, You can't leave whenever you want,
You are the one who needs me, So, here's the plan,
You stay here until the campaign is over, Then I'll sign your paper if you want,
Then you can be a prosecutor, a sneak or a pilot
or whatever the hell you want,
I'm leaving today, is that clear?
Are you stupid? Are you messing with me?
I got your mother in the Financial administration! I can have her fired,
I can make your father's company go bankrupt,
And I won't sign your paper,
You can shove your signature up your ass, I won't sell my soul for it,
Get out of here!
- I'm off, - Bastard!
- Fuck you! - What did you say?
Please, explain why you're kicking me out of the cafe,
What have I done wrong?
According to the law, we are closing down the cafe for 30 days,
- Why? - Why!?
We've had complaints, We found some irregularities so we're closing it down,
What complaints and irregularities?
I didn't put up posters of Codreanu? At least be honest about that,
Good bye!
Why are you here?
You should've brought funeral flowers for the cafe,
I'm really sorry!
You're sorry… What will you do about it?
You'll go back to the office and act as if nothing happened,
- I quit my job today, - Great! At least one of us is free,
You'd better go home and study, Stop wasting your time,
Iona!
It's not Iona, Ioana!
Sucker,
- Mirciulica, what are you doing here? - I came to talk to you,
- Do you want a drink? - No, thank you,
- Why are you here? - Why am I here?
Just chit-chatting,
Hey!
Holy fuck!
I told them to drive carefully,
What the hell!?
But nobody is listening, I wonder how they got their licence,
Mirciulica, I can't find a better driver than you,
That's life, You hit theirs and they hit yours,
Let's drink, All this can be repaired, Come, Mirciulica! Let's go inside!
You can drink, you're not driving anymore, Not now, later,
Mirciulica, one drink to cheer?
As you wish,
Cheers!
Guys! Any idea why things used to be so smooth in this town?
Because everyone knew where they belonged,
Women stayed at home, not wandering around,
The employees used to listen to their boss,
Now there's a lack of respect,
Everyone wants to succeed,
Everybody wants to be a master, Nobody wants to be a servant,
You help them grow, teach them how things work,
and then you find out that
they have their mind set on bullshit like justice and morality,
Others fuck everything,
There's something I don't understand, Why are people so stupid?
Why do they mess with the wrong people?
- Tell me, Mirciulica! - Who the fuck do you think you are?
Who made you master of this town?
Closing down cafes which don't put up your posters?
What's next? Asking for your permission to go out? What's the deal?
I got it now, So, the cafe is the problem,
You're head over heels, Your brain is in your pants,
That's his dick talking,
Mirciulica, why didn't you say so? You know we can fix it,
We'll get that solved,
Let's be friends rather than fight, don't you agree?
Don't get angry or your head will go boom,
Talking about going boom…
Let's play The Hunter's Belt!
I want to listen to music, We're not at a funeral,
I'll play something,
Great, Let's see what you've got,
…might harm your health, I promise I won't find peace…
- What's that? - A video,
I've just posted it, It already got 1000 viewings,
Best of health and God help us!
Are you crazy?
They'll buy it, The people in Gherla are so stupid,
I'll kill you, fucking bastard! I'll cut you like a wild boar!
Mirciulica, take care!
Who's that? I asked not to be disturbed, Who is there? Fucking shit!
Jesus Christ, they're all drunk on the floor,
Hey, you've been gone for two days, Where have you been?
Alin, does your mother know where you are wasting your time?
You, brainless lad, you crashed your machine,
Aren't you ashamed? Get out of here!
Right now!
You too, lad!
Vasile Codreanu, well-known business man from Gherla,
had to step down from running for the Parliament,
The party took this decision after a compromising video
made public by his former employee,
Codreanu is under investigation into influence peddling,
forging documents and setting up an organized criminal group,
I told you you'd be gone after two months,
I cooked something tasty for you,
God, you are so beautiful!
What made you do such a stupid thing?
Just be patient!
- Tell me, - What? Aren't you happy justice is done?
How does that help you? It does more harm than good,
You lost your job and you might get a criminal file,
You can kiss magistracy good bye, And for what?
Please, tell me! Why? To achieve what?
To tell the truth and not end up a puppet prosecutor,
You had a bright future ahead,
You could've become a prosecutor, have money,
a status and respect, What will you do now?
We'll set up a business,
Let me serve you some food, Let's see what we've got here,
- Do you prefer meat? - Thank you, but I don't eat meat,
It's so tasty, Have some!
I'm sure it is, but I really don't eat meat,
No worries, you can have potatoes, They're so good!
Thank you, but I have to refuse, Please don't get upset,
That's fine, Mircea, more meat for you, right?
- I no longer eat meat, - No?
You're teaching my son only good things,
That's okay,
Oh, dear Lord,
Be patient!
So tell me, what kind of business?
A food truck with pies and coffee,
A what?! A food truck? Do you call it a business?
I feel sick, Listen…
I gave you the best I could,
I paid for your studies, for the dorm and so on,
I tolerated your dad all my life, just for you,
I got you a car, painted your room in green,
blue, yellow, whatever you wanted, And now what?
Don't just shake your head, What are you doing?
So you'll be a food truck vendor, And that sounds good to you,
Image I walk through Gherla and tell people about my son
an aspiring prosecutor, now selling from a truck,
How could I ever face people? What am I going to tell them?
Tell them we have the best coffee and pies in town,
I wasn't talking to you, So, tell me!
You're killing me, How will I ever face people in town?
I'll have to move to another town,
You've made my day! You're just great!
Are you hungry?
Then wait!
A cabbage pie, please!
GRANNY'S PIES AND COFFEE GRANNY LIKES WHAT'S GOOD
Be quick! What do you want?
-Do you have gluten-free pies? -Gluten pie?
I only have cabbage or jam pie, Which one do you want?
Well, a cabbage pie,
-Here you go! -Thank you,
Give me 15 pies,
-What's up? -I deliver these,
-Doing delivery? -The only one in Gherla, no competition,
Plus free access to women's houses,
So many single women! I have time for all of them,
Wanna try? I'll get one for myself, You never bake pie,
Ask your mummy,
Mum, can I have a cheese pie?
Shall I give you a sweet one for your bitter wife?
-Don't get her started, -Just give it to her,
-Here you go, honey! -Keep it for yourself,