The location, Vinick Capital Headquarters,
downtown San Francisco,
The mission, obtain a secret file, code name "Aurora,"
I'll be back in an hour,
Yes, Mr, Vinick,
Vinick Capital,
Hello?
Come on, Come on, Come on,
Come on, Come on,
Gotcha,
No!
Why not?
Because you don't know how to do any of that,
Like, how exactly did you get access to his computer?
- I hacked it, - Oh, you hacked it, Okay, great,
And why did you have two aces of spades?
Actually, no,
Doesn't matter, We're gonna go with the original plan,
Okay, fine,
Hey, what's that? Sticking out of your day planner there,
An ace of spades,
And a six of diamonds,
Oh, shoot, Must have stuck together,
I had pancakes this morning,
Syrup on my fingers, Mystery solved,
Great job, Detective,
The key to the whole case is a document called Project Aurora,
Vinick showed Andrea Yi a small piece of it the other night,
but all she really knows is what he said,
It's Vinick's secret plan for remaking Wheeler College,
I'm telling you, it is big,
Why did he show it to you?
I'm head of economics, and I've been supportive of his donations,
so I'm sure he assumed that I was on his team,
What did he say, exactly?
He was cagey,
but he kept using terms like efficiency,
consolidation, rightsizing,
In the econ world, that means people are getting fired,
We have a contract that lays out
exactly what he is and is not allowed to do with his donation,
Shocker, looks like the billionaire is going to ignore the agreement
and do whatever he wants,
Our theory is this,
Way back at the beginning of the year,
someone on the faculty found out about Project Aurora
and knew that it would threaten their future at Wheeler College,
so they stole Berenger's computer,
blackmailed him, burned the painting to scare Vinick away,
all to kill the deal,
If we get that file and learn whose job was threatened,
we'll find our perp,
Andrea saw the file on Vinick's cell phone,
so the plan is to steal that phone at his upcoming college reunion event,
Can you really pull that off by yourselves?
We won't have to,
I'm assembling a team,
The people in this room
comprise an elite strike force of undercover operatives,
people I can trust,
And now,,,
I will explain our top-secret plan,
Jeez, right down to business,
You're not even gonna tell us how you and Mona met?
Later,
Right now, we have important work to do,
We met at a party,
Then we went shopping for a tuba,
Then we made out under the stars,
Romantic,
Never took me tuba shopping,
Don't need a tuba, All I have to do is listen to you snore,
He's got you there,
I hear you at night, and I'm two rooms away,
Okay, let's focus on the mission, please,
Oh, right, Nancy Drew here has a big spy announcement,
Operation Waterslide is a three-phase plan,
We have to get Brad Vinick's phone,
download the Aurora file, and return the phone to him,,, unnoticed,
To pull that off,
we need your help,
- Pass, - It's open bar,
- I'm back in, - Good,
The setting,
Brad Vinick's 50th class reunion,
Around 7:00 p,m,, Vinick arrives,
He'll have private security at each entrance,
but none inside the room,
Calbert will pose as the manager of the catering crew,
You'll be stationed at a table near the entrance,
- Your code name will be-- - No,
No code names, We talked about this, It makes things more confusing,
Please, I mean, when are we ever gonna get to have code names?
- Please, - I really would like a code name, Julie,
- What's wrong with a code name? - Please,
Okay, okay, fine,
- Yes! - God,
So, Calbert's our lookout,
His code name is Eagle Eyes,
Ooh, I like that,
Now, when I give the signal,
Elliot and Virginia will approach Vinick and introduce themselves,
We know Vinick always carries his phone in his jacket pocket,
We get the jacket, we get the phone,
So just as Elliot and Virginia make contact,
Megan, disguised as a waiter, will spill water on his jacket,
- Okay! What a day, wow, - Oh my gosh, I am so sorry,
An early bath,
Oh! Let me take that for you,
- We can dry it in the back, - Sure, Okay,
Megan's code name, Splash Zone,
Phase two, Splash Zone brings the jacket containing the phone
back to a waiting Julie in the coatroom,
Julie will take Vinick's phone and download the file,
Her code name, Froggy,
No,
It's already what we call you, It's perfect,
- No, - Fine,
Julie's code name is Wet Blanket,
Next, Elliot and Virginia continue to chat up Vinick,
buying us crucial time so Julie can download the file,
Elliot, code name Dealmaker, will use his financial knowledge,
Traded junk bonds, mostly,
- Those were wild days, man, - Oh, they sure were,
I like the cut of your jib,
I'd like to give you one million dollars,
What?
Could happen,
Virginia, code name Velvet Rope, do not let Vinick get past you,
So, if you'll excuse me,
I'll do nothing of the sort, You and I have barely gotten started,
Well, you certainly made a fine choice with this one, Elliot,
I have an indecent proposal for you,
I'll give you that million dollars if I can have one night alone
with your wife,
What? Could happen,
How are you gonna get the code to unlock Vinick's phone?
I already have it,
I watch when people are using their phones and I memorize the codes,
9138, 1973, 0257,
1111,
Yeah, I should probably change that,
Finally, phase three,
Julie puts the phone back in Vinick's pocket,
Megan returns the dried-out jacket,
Vinick never knows what hit him,
I'll run point on everything,
so my code name will be Mastermind,
We will communicate using these tiny earpiece microphones,
They look just like hearing aids, so no one will notice,
Hang on, this is my hearing aid,
Here we go, Here we go,
These are the tiny earpieces,
So, any questions? Yes,
What's my job?
You are the chief security officer, code name Steel Curtain,
You will stand guard outside the back room
where Julie is downloading the secret files
and make sure no one gets in,
I'm a doorman?
You're chief security officer,
Of the door,
Like, if everything goes according to plan,
I'll be standing there, motionless,
Let's hope so,
I gotta say,
I'm surprised you actually had the guts to sideline your girlfriend like that,
It's the right decision,
Plans like this have to move like a Swiss watch,
She's more like a,,, sexy cuckoo clock that got stuck in a blender,
Yeah, She's a bit of a wild card,
Yeah, at least the rest of my team is rock solid,
Are they, though?
Yes,
They're smart,
They're the perfect age to blend in at a 50th reunion,
Calbert worked for the Pentagon,
In the cafeteria,
And he's not exactly in fighting shape,
Listen, man,
I like the plan,
I really do, but it's very ambitious,
Operations like this?
Shit goes sideways even when everybody is at the top of their game,
Trust me, it's gonna go great,
You worry too much,
That's why everyone calls you Wet Blanket,
All good?
Yep, check this out,
Brought my old Pentagon badge,
Being on a secret mission made me feel cool again,
Maybe it'll come in handy, Used to get me out of tickets,
Hey,
- Are you sure you're up for this, buddy? - Oh, I'm good,
Got a cortisone shot in my hip,
Good as new,
Good, okay,
Hi, I thought you were gonna wear that simple black dress,
Well, see,,, I decided to invent a backstory for my heist character,
I'm a sexy baccarat dealer who hates herself for falling in love
with an international spy,
Oh, and I chose a name too,
Based on Pussy Galore,
Hi, I'm Titty Gajillions,
Yeah,,, okay,
See, here's the thing, Mona,,,
Titty, Or Ms, Gajillions,
You're kind of supposed to be blending in,
You're guarding a door we don't want anyone to go through,
And this whole thing is like a neon sign that says,
"Hey, check out this door,"
Well, I realized that the job of "guarding the door"
could be accomplished by "locking the door,"
So I just decided I'm gonna have a little fun,
Hi, Titty Gajillions,
Enchantée, Titty Gajillions,
Bienvenue, Titty Gajillions,
Everything's in place,
Just play the role of proud Wheeler College provost,
Okay,
And if possible, don't interact with any of us at all,
Whoa!
Holly Golightly, Professor Nieuwendyk,
Jack, you made it,
Yeah, just got back in from Dallas,
where I ate the best steak of my entire life,
Wanna know who I sat next to on the plane back?
Lea Michele,
Wow,
From Glee,
Yeah,
Yeah, from,,, from Glee,
I gave her my complimentary earbuds,
I'm gonna get a drink, You guys want anything? Okay, great,
I thought he wasn't gonna be here,
Should we tell him what's going on?
No, No, it's too risky,
- We'll brief him tomorrow, - Okay,
Trying to figure out who died since last time?
No, I'm not a graduate,
I work for the catering company,
Ooh, Well, kudos to you,
The stuffed mushrooms are excellent,
I'm Joy,
Calbert,
You ever say to yourself, "I'm gonna have a great time tonight?"
You get ready, put on your pantyhose, splash on some White Diamonds,
and you get to the event, then you realize, "I don't wanna be here,"
Pretty much everywhere I've gone the last five years,
I've thought, "I don't wanna be here,"
Regardless of what I'm wearing,
Would you like to sit?
Oh, I was going to anyway, but thanks,
This is Mastermind, Everyone, check in,
Splash Zone, copy,
Whatever my name is, copy,
Hi, Charles-- Oh,,,
Where are you?
I can't see you,
- Oh God, - Shush, Velvet Rope, cool it,
Eagle Eyes, do you copy?
- Joy, is that you? - Oh, hey,
- Hi, - Sorry, yes,,, I got distracted,
By that nice-looking lady you're chatting up?
Mastermind your own damn business,
Hang on, Eagle Eye to whatever,,, Charles is, I forget,
That guy, Vinick, does he have a code name?
Told you, confusing,
Anyway, Vinick is here, and he's not wearing a jacket,
He's wearing a sweater, Repeat, Vinick's wearing a sweater,
I'm going in,
Hey, Brad,
Charles Nieuwendyk, the engineer,
Oh, yeah, yeah, hey,
Nice sweater,
Oh, this is a letterman I got for playing varsity squash in '73,
Wheeler doesn't even have a squash team anymore,
Believe it? This place is going to hell,
Anyway, I'm gonna step outside,
Can't light up in here, The woke alarms will go off,
Oh,
That's wonderful,
Ha!
Abort, Abort, Everyone, get out,
Go to the airport, fly to Monte Carlo,
Disregard, everyone, sit tight,
His phone is in his pants, Julie,
This is a jacket heist, not a pants heist,
- What do we do? - Shut up and let me think,
There might be,,, one possibility,
It's me, I need you at the Wheeler campus, now,
My God, what did you order us?
I told them to make their most embarrassing drink,
Well, they succeeded,
Listen,,,
I lied to you before,
I don't work for the catering company,
I'm just here as a favor to a friend,
Okay, well,,, why did you tell me you work for the catering company?
I wanted to avoid conversation,
I'm not much of a people person,
But I didn't know that you were the people I was gonna meet,
Well, I lied to you too,
Those stuffed mushrooms were nasty,
I'm glad you don't work for those nasty-ass mushroom makers,
You were Wheeler class of '75,
I was,
I got my JD in Maryland Law in '78,
I'm from Baltimore,
Get out,
- You an Orioles fan? - World's biggest,
Wow, you and I, we do have a lot to talk about,
Oh, for example, why haven't they made a single big trade the last three years?
- It's driving me insane, - Mm-hm,
Wow, we need two of these,
Mm,
This is great,
You know what's crazy?
Greatest baccarat player I ever saw, Burt Bacharach,
Burt Bacharach was great at baccarat,
What took you so long?
You said it was fancy, so I had to put on my press-on nails,
What's going on here, exactly?
We're running an operation,
It was a bulletproof plan, then out of nowhere, it just fell apart,
So, not bulletproof,
We were going to extract a cell phone out of our target's pocket,
but he wore a sweater,
His phone is in his pants pocket,
You're the only one that can pull off a job like this,
You invited me here to,,, pickpocket someone?
Julie, I haven't tried a lift like that in 20 years,
I can't believe you're asking me to do this,
I wouldn't ask if we had any other option,
Can you do it?
Okay, if you really need me to,
I just,,, I need to warm up,
Hi, I'm Vanessa,
Charles, How do you do?
You wear a tuxedo well, Is this Prada?
Um,,,
I have no idea,
Well, it looks great on you,
Nice fit,
I just love these old buildings, don't you?
I'm an engineer, I love architecture,
Okay, I still got it, I guess,
Oh, wow,
That's incredible,
And I also have your ChapStick
and an ace of spades?
Yeah, see, I thought if the opportunity presented itself,,,
Here's a name tag,
Here's my cell phone,
Same one Vinick has, more or less,
I changed the wallpaper to match his,
If you can get his out and this phone in, hopefully he won't notice the difference,
- Can you make the switch? - I'll give it my best shot,
Mom, any sign of trouble, just walk away, and I'll meet you in the parking lot,
- Okay, - Okay,
He's right over there, One o'clock,
Oh, okay, Megan, when I adjust his sweater,
you bump me from behind, hard,
- Copy, - Okay, team, we're improvising,
Everybody, stand by, Sparkle Hands has the wheel,
Who?
That's your code name, Sparkle Hands,
I just came up with it, It's perfect, Go,
So in 1988, I actually moved up to Seattle,
Well, Edmonds, really, It's about 20 minutes from Seattle,
if there's no traffic,,,
But, y'know, there's gonna be traffic, It's Seattle, right?
Huh?
I once had an incredible old-fashioned at a bar in Seattle,
Actually, that sounds so good, Could you get me an old-fashioned?
Sure, be right back, Unless there's traffic,
Ha,
Seemed like you needed to be rescued,
I did, thank you, I'm Brad,
I know who you are,
Janet,
I'm surprised you came, given all your success,
Well, I've, uh, recently gotten more involved with the school,
Oh, wonderful, especially since your time is so valuable,
- Well,,, - Oh, you're crooked,
Um, is it okay if I,,,?
- Yeah, help yourself, - Oh, Okay,
- Oh! Oh, God, I'm very sorry, sir, - Whoa! Watch where you're going,
You should be,
Can I help you with anything? I have a few more napkins,
- I'm fine! I'm fine, okay? - I'm so sorry, So sorry,
- God,,, - Oh, um, I lost a heel,
- Can I use your,,,? - Oh, yeah, Yeah,
That was ridiculous, Where did that woman even go?
I don't know, Back to the kitchen, I think,
What an idiot,
I'm gonna go speak to her manager,
She made the switch, She made the switch,
Now we gotta keep Vinick occupied so he doesn't check the phone,
Dealmaker, Velvet Rope, you're up,
Brad Vinick, oh my God,
It's been ages, How's tricks?
Did,,, tell me your name again, I forget everybody's name,
Rich, Rich McEnroe,
And I'm his wife, Raquel,
As in Welch,
Hey, you're in finance, right?
I don't wanna brag, but I have also hurt a lot of people,
Vanessa, that was incredible,
How much time?
Hard to say, Ten minutes?
Dealmaker, Velvet Rope, we need about ten minutes,
- For what? - Jesus, what are you doing?
Why aren't you talking to Vinick?
We were, then he just walked away,
I think he felt threatened by me,
We're both alphas,
You're the only thing stopping him from looking at his phone
and realizing it's not his phone,
He's a cigar guy,
Just offer him a cigar or get into an argument,
- What would we argue about? - Whatever you argued about last,
- Her snoring, - That's not the last thing,
- Yes, it is, - No,
The last argument we had was about how you like to pay the bill
and leave before I've finished my wine,
That's what we argued about last week, Yesterday, we were arguing about snoring,
You're insane,
Ah, of course,
Vinick's going for his phone, We're out of distractions,
Somebody, some,,, any--
Hello, may I have your attention?
Hi, I'm Mona Margadoff from the music department,
It's so great to see all your smiling Wheeler faces tonight,
especially our esteemed alum, Mr, Brad Vinick,
Now, as some of you might know,
I was once in a band called Lavender Highway,
and we sang a song, "Goodbye, Baby,"
Thank you,
And I have not sung that song live in about 50 years,
but tonight, for him,
I'm going to make an exception,
So, Brad Vinick, this is for you,
Three, four!
We could talk for a thousand years
And I wouldn't change my mind
You could cry me a thousand tears
And I'd still be gone tonight
Me and Paul at the Taj Mahal
Gonna backpack to Timbuktu
Till the sun rises in the west
Adios, fare-thee-well, adieu
So now, it's goodbye, baby
Now, it's goodbye, baby
Done, We have to swap the phones back before Vinick realizes,
- I'm not sure my mom is up to it, - I'll figure something out,
Goodbye, baby
Well, it's
Not like me to stay too long
Come on!
Now, it's goodbye, baby
Well, I've got my ticket
And I'm gone
Wow, that was,,,
That was so cool,
For the first time all night, I'm glad I showed up,
Aw, you're sweet,
Hey, Brad, You want a picture with Mona?
Oh! Yeah, yeah,
I remember that album cover,
- You were buried on the beach, - Mm-hmm,
It looked like you were naked,
Yeah, Guy Webster did that shoot in Marina del Rey,
and I was naked,
No,,,
Yep, Yep, in my birthday suit,
Here we go,
Great, Thank you, Thanks,
Oh, thank you,
That was quick thinking,
Maybe my code name should be "Underestimated,"
Hm, Oh,
I'm just about done with these heels,
It was nice meeting you, Calbert,
I hope I see you again,
I hope so too,
Could I have your number so I could give you a call sometime?
Well, if it's truly meant to be, you'll find me,
I'm just messing with you, It's 510,,,
510,,,
- ,,,698,,, - 6,,,
Another incredible evening, Brad,
We are lucky that you continue to grace us with your presence,
You ever get tired of gracing my ass with your lips?
Wonderful,
Okay,,,
A few bumps in the road, but in the end, looks like my team nailed it,
We're not done yet, Charles,
Round everybody up quietly and get them out of here,
I'll meet you back at my office,
- Text me with updates, - Copy,
Mom? Ready to go?
Yeah,
- You okay? - No, I just want to get outta here,
- Can you please take me-- - What?
What is it?
I'm blown, He's coming over,
Mayday, Mayday,
Keep Vinick away from Vanessa,
He's on to her,
Eagle Eyes, Hey, Calbert, need you now,
- Stop Vinick, - How?
Flash your badge, Punch him in the face, Stop him,
God,,,
That was brilliant,
Perfect distraction,
Way to sell the fall,
That was real,
My hip gave out,
I need a doctor,
Okay, buddy, I'm so sorry, Okay, Hang on,
Any luck?
Megan's decrypting it now at the office,
I'm taking my mom home,
How's Calbert?
Not sure,
I knew he wasn't up for this, and I just made him do it anyway,
Julie, I feel terrible,
Yeah, I know,
Me too,
You're very lucky, Calbert, It didn't break, It's heavily bruised,
You have a partially torn labrum,
I gotta say, I'm shocked you're still able to walk on that hip,
"Tough times don't last,"
"Tough people do,"
Okay, that doesn't mean anything, and you need a hip replacement,
so you will stay overnight,
and we can consult with a surgeon tomorrow,
I'm sorry, you guys,
Tonight ended up being a bit of a mess,
- You two got in a fight,,, - Oh, we would've fought anyway,
No, we wouldn't have,
Calbert, I should not have pushed you into this, man,
What's the point in having your best friend be a spy
if you don't get to do spy stuff?
Plus, I met a pretty lady, I should be thanking you,
- Now, hand me my pants, - But what--
Didn't you hear the doctor? He wants you to stay the night,
With all these sick people? No way,
I'll sleep in my own bed,
Can you give us a second?
When do we get paid?
We did him a favor,
No one's paying you,
Goddamn it,
Fine! Fine, here, I'll,,,
take some of these tongue depressors,
- Stick 'em in your purse, - Stick 'em in your ass,
Remember when I first told you about Mona?
You barked at me and said I couldn't be in a relationship
with somebody if I were lying to them,
Well, you are lying to yourself if you think you can live like this,
You're gonna get the surgery,
No, I'm not,
Once they start cutting on you, they never stop,
Or they fix you up and you feel better,
Then you get to hang out with your friend Charles for another 20 years,
Some things are worth the risk,
This will be better for you,
And for your wife, Joy,
You have us getting married?
Oh, yeah,
Do it for her,
And for your new grandkids,
I will be here when you go under,
and I'll be here when you wake up,
Is Apollo here?
Do you want me to wait with you?
It's fine, You can go to your office,
No, I wanna make sure you're okay,
- Mom,,, - You cut me out of your life for 25 years,
For doing stuff like this,
And now you ask me when it's convenient for you? That is not fair,
I know, I'm sorry, I didn't know who else I could ask,
I haven't slipped up once,
It's like I'm an alcoholic, and you made me do a shot of tequila,
But do you know the worst part?
I got excited when you called,
I thought you were taking me for a fancy night out,
I thought we were gonna have fun together,
That's what it should have been,
I messed up,
I feel terrible,
I disappointed you,
But I promise that I will do whatever I have to do to make it up to you,
For what it's worth, you saved our asses,
It was pretty cool to see you in action,
You're really good,
You should have seen me in my prime,
Well?
It's bad,
Everything in Vinick's handshake deal with Berenger is BS,
This isn't a charitable gift, It's a hostile takeover,
He's gonna fire half the faculty, force out board members,
and replace them with his own people,
Look at this last page, the mission statement,
"Project Aurora represents a new dawn for Wheeler College,"
"The old model has failed,"
"It's a liberal arts school churning out hapless kids with pointless degrees,"
"All nonessential departments will be shuttered,"
"Wheeler will have three tracks of study:
biotechnology, economics, and computer science,
to prepare young adults for life in the modern world,"
"Once we succeed here, we will spread the methodology to other institutions,"
This is an experiment with Wheeler College as the guinea pig,
We were wondering which faculty member
found out about this and had motive to stop it,
Well, turns out they all did,
Everyone at the school has something to lose,
But one person
had the most to lose,
I just solved the case,