Brad?
Help me, Brad!
Brad!
♪ I overcame the coup, you look like a dinosaur, ♪
♪ You turned on the tails, better I was once hardcore, ♪
♪ I know you're into jazz, ♪
♪ don't leave without a second pour, ♪
♪ Before you pack your bags, ♪
♪ And drove away a second more, ♪
♪ I know you made it, I know you need it, ♪
♪ I know you're funny, ♪
♪ I know you love it, I know you need it, ♪
♪ I love you munchkin, yeah, ♪
♪ I just sold a blow, smokin' on a cigarette, ♪
♪ You're just into pops, livin' in your lonely crib, ♪
♪ Yeah, you're living in your room, ♪
♪ Bigger than your own shit, living in the shit, ♪
♪ Is this a whole war, is it better now with something more, ♪
♪ Now we've said too much, ♪
Brad,
Bradley!
Hey,
What's up?
Howard doesn't aim anymore,
Sorry kid, you know I can't bend over,
Mom, don't say bend over, that's weird,
Please, I've been saying bend over forever, gimme a break,
God, I wish I was in this tub right now,
This is what happens when you don't go to college,
Thank you!
Whatever,
Sorry Howard,
Yo Kirk, come hit this!
Go, go,
♪ I don't want you weaving my life, ♪
Hey asshole,
That's so rude,
Why did she just call me that, dude?
Excuse me,
Oh great, somebody readjusted my drums,
That's really nice,
What if you guys came in to use your guitar,
and the fuckin' strap was all fuckin' hiked up,
you know, it's like, fuck, you know?
You guys ready?
- Al, Mark? - No,
All right, let's do it, one, two, three, four,
One, two, three, four
Yo, yo, Kirk, Kirk, Kirk,
I'm gonna count it off, we drive when you count it off,
one, two, three, yo, I'm gonna count it off,
one, two, three, yo, I'm gonna count it off,,,
One, two, three, four,,,
Uh oh, am I just not here?
Mark, Al, on my count, one, two, three, fuck you,
One, two three, four,
No, fuck you, dude,
I don't wanna encourage you,,,
Can I talk to you guys for a second?
Yo, can I talk to you for a second?
One, two, three, four,
Fuck him, he fuckin' sucks guys,
he fuckin' really sucks,
Drummers count off songs, you guys know that,
everybody knows that, we all learned that in the beginning,
he tries to count off the song, that's not gonna work,
'cause drummers count off the song,
he counts the song, it doesn't work,
drummer counts off the song, it's good,,,
Listen,,,
No no no no no, I will not dude,
I need to make this point,
it's that, it's either me or it's him,
He writes all the songs, man,
You just play drums, hold on,
I don't know why we can't just defer this to next weekend,
we have a show on Saturday,
Just play drums?
That's what you think of me?
I don't mean it like that,
You said it like that's what you fuckin' meant,
like I'm not as important as him,
Well, do you do anything other than play drums?
I do lots of things, I introduce people to people,
I introduced you to Kirk,
you wouldn't even know that motherfucker
if it wasn't for me,
Thank you dude,
- I introduced you to Kirk, - Thank you,
- Was it you? - It was me,
No,
You introduced me to Kirk,
I introduced Mark to Kirk,
Guys, I'm the fuckin' rhythm,
I'm the reason that the girls feel it in their bodies, man,
Why don't you guys just try to, I don't know,
start the song at the same time?
Oh my god, you're saying that we can just
start the song at the same time, and stay both in the band,
Yes,
He can count off,
Yeah,
And I can just let him count off,
- Yeah, - Yeah,
Okay okay okay okay, that sounds cool, I'm sorry guys,
- I freaked out, - Sweet dude,
Dude, fuck you, you fuckin' piece of fuckin' dog shit,
and fuck you, you married bitch,
You're not a bitch, man,
Fuckin' asshole,
Robbie quit,
Babe,
Robbie quit,
Okay,
And we have a show Saturday,
What about that kid from last weekend, what was his name?
Hold on,
Do I know him?
Um, Tad,
No, it's Brad,
wasn't he in a band with your cousin's husband or whatever?
No, his name was Tad, he responds to Tad,
Was it Brad?
His name is not Tad,
What was that band he was in called?
Quantum Fangs?
No, no no no, no, I know him, he's cute, Tokyo Sunrise,
- Tokyo Sunrise, - Tokyo Sunrise,
whatever happened to them?
No, their lead singer moved to Seattle,
Brad?
Aren't you talkin' about the drummer from last week?
Yes,
He's got red fuckin' hair,
Okay, well I don't see hair color, guys,
you know that about me,
Hello?
Yo, Tad, Brad, it's Al,
guitar player from Long Longs on Friday, what's good, man?
Oh hey man, what's up?
How's it goin'?
So we're lookin' for a drummer for this Saturday,
and possibly permanently,
you're livin' in Phoenix now, right?
Yeah, yeah I am,
Cool, so it's me and this guy Kirk,
he's our lead singer,
bass player, songwriter, you know Kirk?
Yeah, I know him,
I mean, I don't know him personally, but I know of him,
I love his stuff, yeah,
Cool, so about Saturday, it's this bullshit local thing,
but if you win they let you play a song on the news,
you should hear this fucking song we have man, it's insane,
I'm gonna text you directions,
but if I can have easy, you should probably head over now,
and yeah,,,
Hello?
Yeah yeah yeah, sorry, text me the address,
I'm on my way right now,
All right,
Ah, when is this kid gonna get here?
I'm so bored,
Oh shit, you know what I just remembered?
What?
That Morgan whatever the fuck,
his brother was in that band Garbageface,
he plays the drums,
Garbageface, great name,
Yeah, call him,
Are you guys talkin' about Ritner?
Ritner,
That's his name,
Strange name,
Oh, I know that guy,
I mean, my opinion, Brad's a way better drummer,
there were no drums in Garbageface,
True, but Ritner knows people,
Well, I mean, who can get here first?
Yo, I'm on my way,
Oh excellent,
Yo yo yo, oh shit, oh shit,
Brad, hold on,
Sorry, Tiffany talked to Ritner,
Kirk says first come, first play,
Okay, so Brad, little change of plans,
I guess there's another drummer in the mix,
Kirk's sayin' first come first play,
but I'm pullin' for you, bro,
Oof,
Okay, do you have the keys?
We gotta go, he said there's another drummer,
In my purse, you know,
I don't like this two drummers thing,
they called you first,,,
Mom, where's your purse?
It's on the floor behind me, honey,
I can't twist around,
I don't have time for this,
Well, where is this place?
It's in Tempe, it's not far,
Okay, and who are these guys?
What do you know about them?
You gotta be fucking kidding me,
What, did I leave the lights on again?
I don't know, it's just not fucking starting!
Okay, language, please, why the rush?
Kirk said first come first play,
And who is Kirk?
Who's Kirk?
What are you?
Mom, hold on,
Okay, you can just fix cars now?
All right,
Fucking bitch,
Me?
No, not you,
This is what I don't like about the cursin',
you don't know if you're talkin' to me,
or the car, and now,,,
What the fuck?
I'm gonna call Triple A,
Mom, Triple A could take a fucking hour,
What do you want?
I don't know, I don' know,
it's not even about talent,
it's about who's fucking car starts,
Okay sweetheart, what do you even know about this band?
Honey,,,
I'm done mom, I'm done, I can't do it,
it's another band, another waste of fucking time,
Sweetie, you're too hard on yourself,
and you're usin' the F word like every sentence,,,
Mom, people cuss when no other words will suffice,,,
That's a great word, suffice is a great word,
Okay, what about someone like Christopher Cross?
I don't even know who that is,
Five time Grammy award winner Christopher Cross,
Okay, okay, well, I mean, obviously, he's great,
I have his CD, you can listen to it,
I used to have all of his,,,
Mom mom, what are you even talking about right now?
Sorry, okay, my point is,
you're not the first person who's car didn't start, okay?
The people who make it are the ones that make it happen,
car or no car, despite getting stranded,,,
Okay, okay okay,
I'm gonna be in my 20s, living with my mom,
cleaning fucking Howard's piss,
Okay, why not just Howard's piss?
Why F word, Howard's piss?
What word won't suffice?
It's words won't suffice, not a word won't suffice,
I don't think that's right,,,
- Yes it is, - No,
Okay, I know someone who had to make it happen, guess,
Mom, I don't know, Christopher Cross?
I don't know,
Not Christopher Cross, your dad,
Daddy always made it happen, no matter what,
Hey, what's up guys?
Oh fuck,
Hey, what's up Al?
Hey bud,
Thanks for calling me, thanks for thinkin of me,
Mark, what's up man?
Hey brother,
I'm Brad,
Hi, Tiffany, this is my place,
Hello Brad,
Let's do this shit,
Hey, sorry I'm late,
I mean, the car broke down on the way back from work,
and it was just a total shit show,
You okay?
Yeah yeah, I'm fine, I just needed to make it happen,
so I fuckin' ran here,
Ritner here also, guys,
- Oh hey Ritner,,, - Hi Ritner!
What's up, buddy?
Yeah, what's up is this fucking ginger motherfucker
just pushed me outside,
No I didn't,
What the fuck you talkin' about?
We do not say push here, dude,
He fuckin' laid hands on me, dude,
I did not,
Bullshit,
Well he looks like he ran here, he looks disgusting,
he's sweaty as fuck, he looks awful,
so he's gonna go first,
What?
First come first play,
Exactly,
Well nobody told me that shit,
I've been sittin' outside in my car for 10 minutes,
Well maybe you shoulda been
sittin' in here for 10 minutes dude,
just chill the fuck out,
Okay, what's the tempo?
Yo, you wearing drumming gloves, bro?
Yeah, no sweat,
Bitch,
Dude, it's like one, two, three, slack 'em,
Okay, so one, two, three, shlack 'em,
No, one, two, three, slack 'em,
Okay, I got it, let's go,
It sounds easy, it's not though,
I got it, I got it,
All right,
Will do,
One, two, three,
Yeah, okay, Ritner, you're up,
No no no, I'm sorry, one more,,,
You're up,
I just need a sip of water,,,
I told you, man, the intro,
Kirk please, please, just give me a sip of water,
It's Ritner's turn,
You didn't play fill right, man,
Slack 'em,
Come on,
All right, you got the intro, man?
Yeah man,
We only have beer,
That's awesome, thank you,
I wanna see how insane this is,
all right, your turn, one, two, three,
Yes,
♪ I am rock and roll, ♪
♪ Let me in, let me out, take my soul, ♪
♪ I am ready to go, ♪
♪ He is on the blocks, let the good times roll ♪
Ready y'all, pre-chorus, check it out, got it,
Whoa, you all right?
Fuck, it's fuckin' sprained,,,
Too aggressive on that,,,
Put me in coach,
Brad, you're up, man,
My ankle's sprained, man,
Hey, I'm sorry, the part's gotta beat the part,
Dude, move so Brad can get in,
Horse shit,
All right, you got it man?
Yeah, I won't mess it up,
You won't mess it up, all right,
All right, ready?
- One, two, three,,, - Whoa, whoa,
wait a minute, I count it off dude,
you don't have the microphone,
One, two, three,
Can I get more of my guitar, please?
Does my guitar sound super dead?
You guys hear that?
I got you maxed out, man,
Yeah, still need more of me voice, check check,
no sty-vo, hello?
Okay, I still can't hear my brand new tele,
Brand new, so,
We need some assistance, please,
Wait,
Dude, you got that intro right?
Yeah yeah, I got it,
All right, just don't rush it,
Keep it chill, man,
I won't rush it,
Bro, come on, don't fuck with my stuff,
Do you want to cut through or not?
You just, no, you boost the trebles,
you cut the mids, and then you crank it, did you try that?
That's a great idea,
Okay, wow, and you have your volumes up, right?
Yeah, I have my volume up,
All right, play it,
Hold on, I'm sorry,
can I just get a little more vocals for me?
Drums need more Kirk, please,
Just a teech,
A teech of it,
Drummer boy wants a teet,
I can only do one thing at a time,
Well start by doin' that,
What's up guys?
Hi,
Hi Brad,
Hey, what's your band's name?
Us?
No, the other band I'm lookin' at right now, yeah,
Baby,
Oh, our band name is,,,
Glad Fan,
- No, - Nope,
No,
The Moody Boys,
Ew, no,
The Glad Fans, plural?
You already said that,
Just one, Shtibe, one each,
My bad,
Brad, it's your turn,
Um, the Bangers?
No,
Brad, that's literally the worst thing I've ever heard,
I don't hate it,
Does your bong have a name?
Okay, shut the fuck up, Al, go,
Pass,
That's not how that works,
Ken Rippy Jr,
What?
Ken Rippy Jr,
I love that,
Do you have somethin', dude, just say it,
Okay, fuck, Generation Smoke,
Oh, Jesus Christ,
Fuck you guys,
That's so bad, that's so bad, Al,
I don't hear you comin' up with anything better,
Okay, well don't embarrass yourself, man,
Okay, well, it's your turn,
Okay, well don't embarrass yourself, man,
Okay, well, it's still your turn,
Dude, shut the fuck up, I'm going,
Okay, take it away then,
Well every time I talk, you fucking,,,
Okay, we're all waiting for you,
- Okay, - To go,
Oh my god dude, okay, you're not ready for this,,,
We're not ready,,,
You're not ready, no, you're not ready for this,
You're right, hold on,
Are you now?
- Now I'm ready, - You ready now?
Okay okay okay, Permafrost,
Fuck,
Oh my god,
Computer,
Where did you come up with that?
Yeah, that can actually be really cool on a T shirt,
in "Predator" font or somethin'?
Fuckin' "Predator" font, yes, "Predator" font,
Did you know that was originally title Hunter,
and it didn't change to "Predator"
until after principal photography?
No,
Okay, Permafrost, hey, is everybody listening?
Yes,
Okay, meaning a thick sub-surface layer of soil
that remains frozen throughout the year,
occurring chiefly in polar regions,
Regions, sorry,
All right, the only other hit I got for Permafrost
was a hybrid strain of icky fuckin' sticky,
Nice,
Except I don't smoke anymore,
because Rachel doesn't like when I smoke, so I quit,
What?
Since when?
I don't really feel like it's a safe environment to share,
Oh my god,
Stop bein' so fuckin' stupid, it's the no drugs?
I'm married okay?
We know you're married, Mark,
Well, then you know, occasionally, albeit not often,
you have to make sacrifices for the covenant of marriage,
Uh, stupid,
Occasionally,
Whatever, it's just one less mouth to feed to me, so,
But seriously, Permafrost is so fucking tight,
Dude, thank you, thank you,
I vote yes,
Yeah?
Same,
Okay, so our band name,,,
Whoa whoa whoa, guys, we're fucking Permafrost,
Permafrost,
Yes, yeah, I love it!
Our band name is Stylo and the Murder Dogs,
How do you spell that?
S-T-Y-L-O, as in Stylo,
murder as in blood and dogs as in fuckin' pugs,
Great,
Bro, he changed the name of the band
right in front of our eyes as a test for you, man,
For me?
Yeah, he's testin' your loyalty to the band, bro,
Oh shit, you're right,
You gotta close him, dude, cig?
So how exactly do I do that?
Well, everyone wants to be in his band, you know?
You saw fucking Ritner, we are all replaceable,
Kirk is only taking the committed,
Right, so he changed the band name
to see if I was committed enough to call him out for it,
Exactly, to prove that
you wanna be in this band, officially,
This is great, because I overheard Kirk and Candice
talking about Ritner, and I just,,,
No no no, fuck fucking Ritner,
don't even think about Ritner,
right now you need to concentrate on
proving your loyalty to Kirk, you know?
Yeah, dude, thank you so much,
I literally had zero idea
Kirk was operating on this kinda intellectual level,
Yeah,
Is that fucked up?
Well, I've learned to never underestimate
the power of prescription medication, my friend,
Marky,
Hey,
Is your wife comin' tonight?
Nope, she's gotta work in the mornin',
so you know what that means,
Oh, you're gonna smoke some weed about it,
No, it was a drinking reference, we're gonna drink,
Oh,
Hey, excuse me, Kirk?
Hey, Kirk?
Hey, Kirk man, sorry,
What's up?
Well I noticed that we, or that you,
didn't say Permafrost when the guy asked for our band name,
MmmHmm,
Is that,,,
He's talking about
Stylo and the Murder Dogs, babe,
Oh, I changed the name,
It's so fucking sick,
Okay, that's cool,
I changed the name,
What's Stylo?
- It's my last name, - It's his last name, Brad,
Oh right, yeah, I knew that,
Pursely didn't love Permafrost, so,
Rachel's gonna think we're not serious
if we keep changin' the name, dude,
What?
I'm just processing that out loud,
Mark's high,
No, Mark's drunk,
Okay, so the new new band name is
Stylo and the Murder Dogs, then?
Kirk Slasher Cats,
Ha ha, it's that funny, dude?
Is that a joke to you, the band name's a joke?
No no, I think it's cool,
Fuck it,
Guys, we're Stylo and the fucking Murder Dogs,
Yeah, fuck Permafrost,
Ladies and gentlemen, make sure to vote after the show,
the winner of tonight's competition
gets to play on the news,
that's right, Good Morning Phoenix,
Anyway, put your hands together,
or should I say, paws together,
for Stylo and the Murder Dogs!
Nice guys,
Excuse me,
Check, check, check, check, four five six, six, six,
My shit's not working, this isn't on,
What's up, my fellow species?
I'm not gettin' anything out of this, man,
Yeah, it's blown, good luck,
Can you play without it?
Yeah,
We gotta play without it,
I got it, I got it,
Hey, somebody get that guy a chode to eat,
we are Stylo and the Murder Dogs,
Ow!
Two, three, four,
♪ I am rock and roll, let me in, spit me out, take my soul, ♪
♪ I am ready to go, ♪
♪ weed is on the bus when it's time to roll, ♪
♪ And all of this is automatic, ♪
♪ All of this is automatic, ♪
♪ I am automatic, I am automatic, ♪
♪ Hear the sounds of the beatin' drums, ♪
♪ And if you ask, you want it, ♪
♪ You raised a bell to get it, ♪
♪ Had a moment to show it, as if you belong, ♪
♪ Look every minute to answer, ♪
♪ Before you knew that kiss, ♪
♪ You had a moment to answer, avoiding it like cancer, hey, ♪
Oh!
- Woo! - Zing!
Here we go, go again,
Whoa whoa whoa whoa, dude, dude dude dude dude, Jew,
What?
Jew,
What?
That's the lead singer of Jimmy Eat World over there,
Oh shit,
It's only a matter of time,
Dammit,
Watch the master,
Yo, you want me to go get us another drink?
Yeah, yeah, a beer, please,
You think it's fine that I'm not 21?
Yeah dude, we're here, it's fine, whatever,
but ask her, that's Melanie,
All right,
Good luck, bud,
Hey, how's your night goin'?
It's good, what are you having?
I'll take a beer,
Thank you, oh, can I actually get one more?
I'm sorry,
Is that it?
Yeah, just one, just one more,
You did such good drumming, sir,
So good, he's our new drummer,
Melanie's my roommate,
Oh wow,
I'm bummed I missed it,
It's okay, there'll be another one,
She's fucking British, can you imagine that?
Yeah, I can,
She's a nasty little kitten,
I'm a cat person,
You're so fucking cute,
Oh, listen, before I forget,
Kirk wanted me to tell you
that you are officially in the band,
Are you messing with me?
No,
I passed the test?
Sure,
Hell, yeah, thank you!
We're Stylo and the fucking Murder Dogs, cheers!
Okay,
God damn it, I'm so excited for us,
Also,
Oh no, I have work tomorrow, I'm sorry,
Is this what you're gonna be like on tour?
A little baby bitch?
No no no, I promise you,
I just have work in the morning, and I don't,,,
I'll put in a good word,
Oh my god, what even is this?
I don't know, it feels like weed,
can you chew it, please?
Here, just put it in your mouth,
You're an angel, Brad, you're a fucking rockstar,
Yeah,
You gotta fuckin' act like one, bro,
Yeah, okay,
Let's go, can I get a shot or something?
Sweetheart, Bradley, wake up,
Mom, what?
You gotta get out, I gotta go home and ice my back,
Mom, what?
Go,
Hey Ms, Jaffey, I don't think we've officially met,
I'm Al, guitar player,
Hi Al, guitar player, how you doin'?
Good, how are you?
I'm good, sorry I missed the show last night,
Oh, that's okay, don't apologize,
Yeah, I got these back problems,
I was flat on the living room floor,
takin' my pain meds,
Whoa,
Yeah, hey, come here,
what'd you guys get up to last night?
He went straight home after the show,
Oh no, honey, he didn't,
What?
Yeah, do a little drinkin'?
What?
You know, sex, drugs, rock 'n roll, right?
Of course not,
- X, pills maybe? - No, Ms, Jaffrey,
- Crank, meth, coke, - Of course not,
- Heroin, right? - We're Christians,
And my kid is underage, do you understand me?
Uh huh,
Mmmhmm, lean back for me, bud, there you go, yeah,
There you go,
There you go, buddy,
There you go Brad, are you good?
Mmmhmm,
MmmMmm, MmmMmm MmmMmm,,,
I didn't think so, all right, there we go,
Too soon, bud,
You know what?
This is what we're gonna do,
Everything in its right place,
Yeah, yeah,
Party on, Brad,
There you go, you good?
I'm good, I'm good,
Watch it now,
There you go, there you go,
Dude,
Oh,
Did you know that Ken Griffey Jr,
hit 35 home runs last year?
I did not know that,
He did,
Got it, god damn it, I'm just trying to dude,
What the fuck, dude, it's fucking occupied, bro,
Oh my god,
Hey, you wanna tell everybody?
Yo,
Okay, well then I will tell everyone,
Okay, well, we,,,
We're gonna be on the fucking news, boys,
Woo!
We won?
We fuckin' won?
Let's go, yeah!
Woo!
All right, we should really probably practice the song,
Yeah,
Oh dear,
Oh, hi, you must Roberta,
And you must be Steelo and the Murderers,
Yes ma'am,
Okay, is this everybody?
Hi guys,
- Hi, - What's up?
There's also Kirk, he's our lead singer,
he's gonna hang back while we get sound checked,
he can be a little, you know, the talent,
Ah, the talent, oh yeah, I know all about the talent,
Well why don't you guys follow me
and we'll get you all set up, all right?
Righteous,
Mom, Dad?
Uncle Frank, is this a joke?
Kirk, Kirk, what the fuck, Kirk?
Get up,
What, ah!
The guys are waiting for you,
Did we already play for the bad men?
You took all of these?
You are so fucked up, get up, come on, up,
Yeah, wait, wait,,,
Put this on, up,
Hold on, gimme a blow job,
- No! - What do you mean?
It's fine,
- Kirk, Jesus, - We have time,
Holy shit,
Oh, that's a look,
All right,
That's a cool j,,,
So, how long until we're on?
We go on soon,
Did you soundcheck and everything?
Yo, you ready?
Is he okay?
Yes, he's fine, if you got everything checked,
he's fine, oh my god,
Knock knock, oh, you must be Kirk,
He doesn't look okay,
Roberta, he's fine, he's fine,
I'm ready to roll mama,
Oh my god,
Okay, great,
Last little thing is,,,
Hoo!
Okay, I need to tell you about somethin',
I don't know if y'all are aware,
but there was a shooting last night
at the Bash's on 104th Street,
Yeah, so we're gonna run a segment
right after your performance,
because we have a bag boy
who actually witness the slaughter,
So if you could do me a favor,
and not say the word murder, as in Murder Dogs, okay?
That would be great, got it?
Okay,
How did you guys feel about that one?
Joey, don't rush the click track, bro,
I love the direction we're goin' in with this song,
fuckin', I'm jazzed,
Let's take a soft 20 and come back,
What do you have for daddy?
Oh, I got some treats for daddy,
Ew, stop, bosses talk dirty to their employees,
not the other way around,
I thought you liked it that way,
Shut your mouth, okay?
It's Monday, what new bands do you have for me?
I got one that's pretty cool,
What was with the pause?
Well, it's unintentional, I was just thinkin',
it's this cool band, I saw 'em over the weekend,
I think you're gonna like it,
They're playin' on the TV, you wanna go see 'em?
I got it queued up,
They're on TV right now?
Yeah, yeah, it's like this local thing,
you should see 'em, they're local,
Yeah, let's see it,
All right,
All right, bring the TV in here,
What?
Just bring the TV in here,
It's like 60 inches,
Sorry, just bring it in here,
Bring it in, bring it in,
You want me to move it?
It's like 200 pounds,
I know you can do it,
Okay, yeah, got it, okay, here we go,
if I can just,,,
Where the fuck are you goin'?
Where do you think you're goin'?
Oh, sorry, yeah, nope, right here,,,
We're back with a little segment we like to call
Heat Up the AM,
where every month we feature a new band
that's heatin',,,
You know, fun fact, this isn't actually live,,,
Shut your mouth,
I am extremely excited to introduce a band
named Stylo and the M Dogs, hi guys,
We are Stylo and the M Dogs,
and we're gonna murder your shit,
Cut!
That lady's comin',
Guys, what did we talk about?
I said don't say the word murder, and the S word,
that is a no-brainer,
You can't say that on air,
Roberta,
Come on!
He won't do it again, I promise,
You promise?
I do, right Kirk?
Kirk, right?
Hey, you get one more chance, all right?
Or I'm gonna shut this down, you're not gonna get to play,
Do you understand?
Okay, you promise?
Yes,
Ladies and gentlemen, here's Stylo and the M Dogs,
playing their new song "Deep Freeze,"
take it away, guys,
One, two, three, four!
♪ I live in my home, in a village from the ground, ♪
♪ Thinkin' of dyin' and livin' alone with my dog, ♪
♪ Thinkin' that I've been up too lately, yeah, ♪
♪ And I just stare at you and sit in my car, ♪
♪ Inside of your city, ♪
♪ And when you fake, just like a loser, and see, ♪
♪ Or just be frozen for eternity, ♪
♪ Frozen for eternity, ♪
Fuck yes,
Oh dear god,
Oh, marry me,
Takin' on water,
MELANIE ON VOICEMAIL MESSAGE: Hey, it's me,
don't leave a message, just come get a drink,
Hey, hey, I know you,
Oh hey,
- Hi, - Hey, have we met before?
Ha ha , I would say come in,
but we literally just closed,
Oh no, really?
I was just about to come in,
I was just comin' in,
and I was gonna see if you were here, actually,
Oh really, well it's perfect timing,
'cause I just got off,
Oh nice, yeah, well I'm gonna smoke a cigarette,
Oh, you smoke now?
Yeah, I grew up smoking,
Oh, got it, okay,
How was the news, by the way?
Thank you,
It was amazing, , did you watch?
I didn't, but Candice had
six different people recording it
in all different place, so,
Sounds about right,
Yeah, yeah,
As she should,
Yeah, I'll be sure to let you know
what I think when I watch it,
Yeah, well what if you don't like it?
What if you think we suck or somethin'?
Well then I would have to tell you,
Really, you'd just shoot me that straight?
Of course,
Okay,
Do you wanna go hang out right now?
Yeah, yeah, right now?
Yeah,
- Yeah, - Okay,
Welcome to my contingency van,
Oh wow,
Contingency van?
Yes, for apocalyptic scenarios,
like zombie infestation, contagion,
extra-terrestrial or chemical war,
This van would serve as my home,
Okay,
It's also where I get black-out drunk with my friends,
Double okay,
Evvy,
Hey, Kirk Towns, yeah,
Stylo and the Murder Dogs, my friend, good to meet you,
I'm Brad, nice to meet you,
Mark,
All right, stay by me, all right?
Right this way, okay, come on, don't be shy,
You guys want any coffee, or booze?
Oh yeah, I'll take some booze,
Yeah, maybe a six pack of Red Stripe?
I'm down,
Yeah, actually make that two six packs,
Spoken like a true drummer,
How old are you?
- He's 21, - He's 21,
21,
Okay,
- You whistled for me? - Hey, Buddy, everybody,
this is Buddy,
My name's not Buddy,
Hey Buddy,
No one really gives a fuck what your name is,
you just need to bust you butt down to the corner store,
get these gentlemen a 24 pack of PBR,
you guys cool with PBR?
Yeah,
Kay, bye Buddy,
Dust in the attic,
Hey, do you have any cash?
Where was I?
We were talkin' about
you letting us record our EP here, for free,
Check out the big brain on Brad,
Bring out the gimp,
That's from Pulp Fiction,
Here's how I see it,
Radiohead had "Creep," Beck had "Loser,"
Stylo and the Murder Dogs have "Deep Freeze,"
What's in it for you?
Brad again,
When you guys blow the fuck up,
and it comes time to record
that much anticipated full length record, make it here,
We don't need to sign anything?
Look, the truth is,
you guys should really be
signing a contract with each other,
I don't know if you know anything about bands,
but you motherfuckers eat each other,
So it doesn't have to be anything complicated,
somethin' simple, that says who owns what, who does what,,,
No, how 'bout this, we'll just pay?
Okay?
I mean, if you insist,,,
I insist, dude,,,
Hey dude, why don't we just take
this nice man up on his offer,
and we'll come back and record our full length,,,
- No, you don't get it,,, - If we want to,
He's not even gonna make us stay,
No, fuck that, dude, no,
Okay, could we have a second?
Sure,
No no, nope, nope, I don't, no no, I don't need a second,
I don't need a second,
because I wanna pay this man for his time, all right?
No strings attached,
No strings, look,
if you don't wanna make your first record here, that's fine,
But I'm telling you, once you hear those songs,
your songs on that fuckin' tape machine,
you're gonna be circling back here
like a suckling pig to its mother's tit,
Listen, baby, I know the game, okay?
But I'd rather pay for my milk,
Dude,
No, I'd rather pay for the milk,
Just sit down,,,
I'd rather pay for the milk,
- Come on, - Pay for the milk?
It's okay,
Look, let's go talk to him,
- Fuck that, - We'll be right back,
Dude, you don't get hurt,
I don't understand,
why don't we just record with that guy?
Yeah, where are we gonna get the money, Kirk?
Yeah man, unless you got some rich uncle
that we don't know about,
I suggest you step off the Kirk express,
and we record some fucking songs, man,
Do you ever fucking think
that it's not about the god damned money,
Hey, how'd it go?
What the fuck, what happened?
What, I leave for two seconds, this is what happens?
No, the guy in there is awesome,
and he wants to record us,
For free, just wants us to record a full length with him
if we like the way the EP sounds,
And not even make us sign anything,
Okay, well what did Kirk say?
Nothing, he was just like,,,
You fuckin' shits talkin' shit on me?
No,
Babe, you wanna talk to us, or?
This guy stinks of high treason,
How?
The first thing he brings up is a fucking contract,
We're a family, what more of a contract is there?
Dude, how long have you known me, bro?
Uh, eight years,
10 whole years, man, 10 years,
We're family,
I want you to hear me say it now, you can trust me, okay?
You can trust me,
Quack, quack, quack,
quack, quack, quack, quack,
quack, quack, quack, quack!
Can we go, please?
Yep,
Oh shit, nice,
Oh yeah,
You guys feel that hot hot heat?
Yeah, it's a little hot,
Who wants to try?
- I'll go, - I'll go,
You go,
- Are you sure? - That's the spirit,
I'll go after you,
All right,
So Kirk tells me you guys played on the news, huh?
- Yup, - Yes,
Fuck,
What's wrong, you've never seen a factory pre-roll before?
What's a factory pre-roll?
Come on Kirk!
I get these pre-rolled joints
from an old fuck buddy in the LBC,
Ooh, yeah, sorry, I promised the Mrs,, yeah,
but it was my decision, too,
Are you guys all married?
Just Mark, I'll hit that, thank you,
We talked about it together, so,
Ah, yes!
I gotta get this, go for Everett,
Hey Albert, can I hit that?
Yeah,
Come on Kirk,
Hey, can I touch your balls, bro?
Fuck outta here, go, go!
Touch your balls, ow, fuck, you hurt my arm!
Hey hey, so how much we talkin' here?
Fuck, I'm thinkin' 5,000 for the record,
10,000 for the video,
and maybe another 5,000 for the merch?
What'd he say?
I don't know, man, that sounds like way too much,
Yeah, I feel like 10's probably fine,
10 it is,
Okay then,
Dude, you and the fuckin' new guy,,,
Chill out, dude!
Fucked up my negotiation tactics!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
Oh, your fuckin' negotiation tactics, huh?
New guy?
I couldn't hear shit ridin' bitch,
We had 20 Gs, Stibe,
He was gonna give us 20 Gs,
and then you needle dick bitches
fuckin' undercut my position, dude, undercut me,
Okay, we undercut your position,
All I'm saying is,
do you really think we need to borrow 20 thousand dollars?
You don't know what I'm conjuring, dude,
- Kirk, - You don't know,
At the end of the day,
the more money we borrow,
the more money we have to pay back,
We don't even have an EP worth of songs,
Dude, I have millions of songs, dude,
in my head, what are you talking about?
I'm not doubting you, okay?
Did it seem like I was doubting him?
Because I'm not,
By the way, Mark, you're out of the band,
- Whoa, - What, dude,
What the actual fuck did I even do?
Dude, you can't just
oh I forgot someone out of the fucking band,
this isn't China,
Is this another round of tests?
Dude, it's not up to me,
Yes it is!
Hang back,
What's the key's guy's name?
Oh, that's Mark,
His energy fuckin' blows, get rid of him,
Really?
No married dudes, that's not the vibe,
He's got the worst stylistic identity, man,
Yeah, yeah, then who shall play keys?
I got the perfect guy, Horus Slays,
I mean, yeah, you gotta pay his day rate and all that stuff,
but the music industry is do or die, man,
Yeah,
Look at Mark,
looks like a fuckin' homeless hillbilly,
chained down by faux marital bliss,
Yeah, I could see that,
It's in my eye, oh god, oh god,
Did I ever tell you
what the manager for Linkin Park once told me?
I don't know,
He said a rockstar is someone that girls wanna fuck,
and the dudes wanna be,
And before Stylo and the Murder Dogs blows the fuck up,
you need to keep
all those music rights to yourself, all right?
Have all these greasy bums out here
sign NDAs and non-competes,
And if any of them give you any guff,
you just replace 'em,
with guys just like Horus motherfuckin' Slays,
A band full of keyboard players, man, that's,,,
No, no, independent contractors,
Right, right,
And you came up with the name?
Yeah, well me and Candice,
Not a question,
Right, right,
He wants me out of the band?
The hell's wrong with you, man?
It's just business,
Why do we need this golfer prick?
Producer guy's offering to do it for free,
Yeah, I thought we didn't care about the money,
I don't care about the money, dude,
I have a bigger picture for this band,
Do you not get that?
I'm talkin' merch, I'm talkin' videos,
international tours, cool art projects, whatever,,,
Kirk, we get that, but what happens when a label's like
"Drop the band," then what?
He doesn't even wanna be in the band,
Yes I do,,,
Admit it!
Yes I do, I do,
News flash, you're married, Shtibe,
You're probably already thinking about leaving the band,
Are you fuckin' marriage shaming me, bro?
Yeah, I'm fuckin' marriage shaming you, dude,
Rachel, think about Rachel,
So you really think that Rachel's just hunky dory
with you goin' out on tour with the boys,
and smashin' beers, and she's just chillin at home,
sitting at a dining table all by herself, eating a meal,
and when she's like
"Oh, where's Shtibe?"
Yeah, sounds fun,
I knew it dude, I know,
Mark?
What, it maybe'd crossed my mind,
- Oh my gosh, dude, - Mark,
What?
I thought she would come around, you know,
when she heard how good we are,
She hasn't come around?
It's been really hard to get her to come around lately,
All right, well my vote is,
if Mark could give us his word
that he's gonna be committed to trying new techniques
to get her to come around,
then fuck golfer prick, we don't need his money,
let's record for free with producer guy,
No no no, no dude, you're not thinking big enough,
you're not thinking big enough,
No, I agree with Brad,
Fine, if he can commit,
Fine,
Mark, can you eternally commit to being a Murder Dog,
and nothing but a fucking Murder Dog, so help you God?
Kirk's right!
Oh my god,
- I knew it! - Come on, man!
I can only commit to one thing, Rachel,
- Mark, - Mark,
But you know what?
I would be honored to be replaced by Horus fucking Slays,
You know Horus Slays?
Yeah, he used to play with the Master Baits, constantly,
Whoa, that's tight,
We love you, man,
I love you guys,
Come here, man,
We love you, Shtibe, I mean,
I mean, you're doing the right thing, Stibe,
I know,
You're doin' the right thing,
I know I am,
Sky, Kirk has to be in the middle,
Sorry, who the fuck are you?
My name is Horus, Horus Slays,
Oh, right, right,
Lookin' for Stylo and the Murder Dogs,
Yeah, guys, this is Horus Slays,
Oh, what's goin' on man?
The boys, Stylo and the Murder Dogs,
Albert,
Horus Slays,
Let's get you in an outfit,
thank you so much for coming,
All right, hey, let's focus, okay,
No, no, no,
- Oh! - Yeah, that one,
Oh yeah!
No,
Oh shit,
Yes, this is it, this is it,
That's iconic, dude,
That's gorgeous,
Hi, I just need to do a couple things differently,,,
Hi,
Yeah, and I think this is the take,
I think so too,
Yeah, you do?
Yeah, yeah,
Fuck yes, I mean, even if you didn't,
I would still say this one,
I know you would,
- Yeah, - Yeah,
Okay,
- Yo, - Yo,
Shot town, to you, boys!
Oh, tees, tees!
Oh, check this,
What?
Baby lemme see, lemme see, lemme see!
Oh, those are fucking great,
Well, if you haven't been, we should go tomorrow,
We should, but I can't tomorrow night, can you do lunch?
Oh, we can't, we're meeting with this A&R guy,
Really?
Yeah, Kirk's showin' him some more songs,
That's epic,
You have to knock on wood now,
What do you mean?
When you say the E word you have to knock on wood,
What, epic?
Now you have to knock twice,
Okay,
Ignore them,
What are they doing?
Please ignore them,
Oh my god,
They're being dumb,
Well what about the night after?
Um, actually, my parents are coming into town,
so I have to play tourist with them for a little bit,
I should meet them,
Right?
Um,
Maybe not?
Did I just make it weird?
No, I just, I mean, isn't it a little fast
to meet my parents?
Yeah, absolutely, sorry,
No, I mean, you can meet them if you want to,
Really?
They're actually really great,
So it would be weird, or it wouldn't be weird?
Fuck it, it's not weird,
So how many songs have you tracked so far?
Three so far,
Three songs?
Nice,
First time in the history of mankind
that a band shows up before me,
There he is,
There he is, there he is,
you look like Avril fuckin' Lavine,
Well you look like my gay fuckin' uncle,
Good to see you, Jordan,
I was tellin' your boys,
I'm actually through on my way to South By,
Is this February already?
I go out early, you know?
Calm before the storm,
Yeah, yeah, takin' the airstream?
Hell yeah,
Yeah,
So we gonna hear some music?
Yeah, are we gonna hear some music?
Yeah, yeah,
Cool,
Yeah, oh yeah, where's Kirk?
He's on his way, yeah,
I'm sorry, I gotta take this, excuse me,
- Oh yeah, yeah,,, - I'll be back, guys, yeah?
What the god damned hell is goin' on here?
We lost Kirk,
You lost Kirk?
Like a little kid in the mall?
Go find him,
We've been trying to call Candice,
but she's not answering, and my phone's about to die,
Yeah, I mean, why can't we just send this guy an MP3
when we find Kirk?
I mean, what's the rush?
Phone's about to die, what's the rush?
What are you talkin'?
South by Southwest is the biggest festival in the world
for unsigned bands, we want this guy
to sign the Murder Dogs,
no matter what other bands he sees,
Yeah, we know what South By is,
Listen baby, y'all gotta chill out on all this stress,
there's more than one fuckin' A&R guy,
Kirk just does this shit sometimes,
it's really not a big deal, we'll get the next one,
You guys are killin' me, all right?
What are you talkin' about?
How old are you?
Tell me, I wanna hear it, how old are you?
I'm 22,
- 22, - Yeah,
Well you're gonna learn really quickly in life,
there's no guarantee there's gonna be a next time,
When you get a shot at somethin', like you got right now,
you gotta make it happen,
We'll find him,
Yeah,
Guys, let's go, why are we sitting here?
Let's go find him,
Yeah, I'm fine,
He's probably fucked up somewhere random or some shit,
so we'll split up,
Look, check yourself, Kirk paid me through the week,
so technically I'm yours until 11 PM,
so I'll help out,
Great,
Now we're fucked,
I gotta run home and get my phone charger,
Find that kid, man,
Godspeed,
All right, I'm gonna try to buy us some time,
Listen to me, Kirk's goin' through
some super fucked up incestuous family emergency right now,
Oh no, incestuous?
He's really stepping up, I'm proud to call him my friend,
I'd share the details with you,
but he's asked us to keep it confidential,
Yeah, I understand, that's terrible,
If you could stick around through the weekend,
The weekend, I don't think I can,
You have 'til technically Thursday,
Bro, just send me the fuckin' MP3s
once they track more tunes,
I'm not sayin' no,
All right, all right, I'm just sayin,
we both know you're gonna be
seein' a whole fuck load of bands,
if you stick around through the weekend,
I'll cut you Kirk's songs,
you could listen to them on the road trip,
By the time you're rolling into Austin,
you're gonna have one group on your mind,
Stylo and the fuckin' Murder Dogs,
My pops would love if I stayed the weekend,
Exactly, exactly, you look out for your family,
Kirk looks out for his family,
All right, you got it Jordan,
All right Chad, all right, man,
This girl was so fucking ugly,
and I'm hearin'
What the fuck is your problem?
Fuck you!
Oh, you fucker!
No, fuck you!
Hi hon,
Shit's hit the fan,
Sorry,
Kirk's been missing, my phone's about to die,
Are you gonna eat here?
MmmMmm, I'm not gonna be home until I find him,
you all right?
Yeah, I'm good,
Okay,
Make sure you get food,
Hey mom, have you seen my phone charger?
It was on my bedside table,
I don't know, sweetheart,
Oh shit,
Mom, are you okay?
- No, - Mom!
Mom, what happened?
Okay, I just need to get on the ground,
Kay, go slow, go slow, go slow,
Hey, which hospital?
St, Luke's on Mill,
All right, I'm followin' you,
No way,
Kirk!
Dude, what the fuck?
Dude, Kirk, where have you been?
Where the fuck have you been?
Get in the car, get in!
Put this down, what is that?
Why the fuck are you at a hospital?
God damn it, Kirk!
What the fuck?
Get ahold of yourself, man, fuck!
So the deal is, Kirk and Candice broke up,
Full blown Yoko,
Yoko?
It means we're fucked,
Candice was his first real girlfriend,
Oh, and all the songs were about her, I just realized that,
That makes sense, why all these songs are so fuckin' good,
They're precious to him,
Hey man, it's past 11, we can't afford to keep payin' you,
No, you know what?
I already put a lot of time and energy I can't get back,
so I'm already emotionally invested up in this bitch,
If you don't mind me askin',
how long were they together?
Three years, she took his virginity,
In Silver Lake,
Wait, Kirk lost his virginity three years ago?
Isn't he in his 20s?
Oh my god, you guys, why did you care
when people lose their virginity?
I mean, it's not true, okay,
if you don't use it, you lose it,,,
Hey, hey hey hey, ho, hey,
of the recent revelations,
your being a virgin is the least interesting,
and the most predictable,
Now run along, like a good little virgin,
and get the adults some hard liquor,
It's gonna be an all nighter,
Stops!
Well I'm not,,,
Get the fuck out!
Somebody need to get that little munchkin a prostitute,
I got the A&R guy to postpone his trip,
Oh, awesome,
Do we know who broke up with who?
He said she left him
for some rich golfer guy, or somethin'?
Golfer prick?
Hey, it's me,
don't leave a message, just come and get a drink,
Coke me,
One, two, three,
Holy, chug a bean!
Hey bud, it's me, your pal Al,
just tryin' to get a ballpark on your sobriety,
so that our band can get signed,
Oh, did we finish the tour?
God,
We didn't go on tour,
Hey Kirk, hey, it's me, Brad,
We're here to help you,
He's just super fucked up,
You gotta choose to come back
from that level of fucked up,
Y'all should probably try to get
his Stephan Hawking lookin' ass up,
Okay, come on,
I aint touchin' that shit,
Come on, oh there you go, hey,
we're running out of time,
I can't,
Huh?
I can't go,
You can't go?
No one knows what the fuck you're talkin' about, dude,
Hey, Kirk, you just gotta let us know what you need
because this A&R guy is,,,
Yeah, time is of the essence, here,
Oh, Evan's essence,
Oh boy, okay,
Kirk, listen up, little nigga,
I aint with all this Rick James shit, all right?
You only paid me through last night,
which means you'd better sober the fuck up,
or imma bounce, and this Murder Dog shit aint goin' nowhere,
Okay okay okay, hey Kirk, it's Brad again,
Dad?
No, Brad,
If you love her so much,
why don't you just get back together with her?
Back together?
Yeah, why don't you just forgive the affair,
and go after your one true love?
True love?
Oh my god,
Yeah, get that love, Kirk,
Yeah dude, for the sake of the band,
get back together with Candice, you fickle bastard!
Yeah, why don't you ask her hand in marriage?
Yeah, marry her, marry her!
Marry her, marry her, marry her,
marry her, marry her!
There's a guy out here
who says his mom fell or some shit?
What?
There's a guy outside asking for you,
Then let him in,
He's underage,
What, he's 17?
- What? - Let him in!
Melanie, I'm sorry,
My phone died, my mom's in the hospital,
Kirk has gone off the walls,,,
Prove it,
Prove what?
Any of it,
How am I supposed to prove it?
Oh, fuck off, dude, I've dated musicians before,
One minute you're in town, the next you're not,
I'm not down,
I'm not like that,
if anyone's been fucked by more musicians, it's me,
Do you really just expect me to believe
that you're the one musician
who's different from all the rest of them?
Yeah, maybe, I'm not saying I'm better than them,
but I think I've been fucked over so many times
I've learned not to treat people like that,
Come to hospital with me,
Is she really in the hospital?
Yes, come with me, please,
You're awake,
I feel good,
Wait, wait, easy, but hug me, oh,
You look skinny, have you eaten?
Nothin',
Who is that?
That's Melanie,
Hi, are you the girlfriend?
Yeah,
- Just, maybe, - Come on in,
Honestly, I think this all happened for a reason,
Okay, so you and I will make sure
that golfer prick is neutralized,
and that Candice makes it out to the front yard,
Right on,
And I'm gonna be with Kirk for the grand finale,
Do you wanna tell us exactly what it is
you're planning to do, Kirk?
Oh, I know exactly what me and Brad will do,
just get her out to the front, I'll get her back,
All right, Gordon Bombay on three, one, two,
Gordon Bombay!
Who the fuck is Gordon Bombay?
Brad, can you go silent, over,
Copy you, over,
Horus, you there, over,
What's poppin', over,
Is it weird that I am super pumped
that this plan involves scarin'
the living shit out of Candice?
Over,
Yo, I'm definitely diggin' this plan, over,
Hey, what's up chief?
Mr, Fisk,
That's right,
Wow, I am so glad that the universe
put you and Kirk together, man,
You're tellin' me, man,
I'm a raging fan of Kirk's,
Yeah, I've heard,
Yeah,
Thanks for the fan page,
You saw the fan page?
Yeah, it's great,
It's great,
Yeah, do you mind if we go over the plan?
The plan, yeah, of course,
you don't wanna talk about the fan page with me,
no, that'd be crazy, huh?
What am I thinking?
Unless you did?
Okay, the plan, you and Horus Slays
will enter through the rear entry with these,
You will then escort Ms, Candice White,
who's a bitch,
Oh, bless you,
Thank you, to the front yard,
where Kirk Stylo will seduce her,
and once again regain his god-tier status,
I love this,
I love Kirk,
Kirk, you gotta fuckin' tell me,,,
Over to ground control, over,
Copy that, over,
Do not concede Kirk's secret stash of energy snort
until you hear code red,
once he's caked, we only got one shot at this, over,
Where's my secret stash of energy snort?
Hey man, it's gonna be okay,
Hey, how much longer, over,
I know you possess it,
I repeat, how much longer, over,
Horus, over,
Oh shit, code red, code red,
I'm just unlocking it, okay?
Code red, code red,
Starting the timer now,
Come into my house, fuck, get down,
Who the fuck are you, huh?
Mafia, cartel?
IRS?
Horus Slays?
Get the fuck out!
Come on,
Jeez, we're calling the cops,
Put the Motorola Razr down,
Who the fuck are you?
I'm the founder of
Stylo and the Murder Dogs fan page, bitch,
All the songs are about me, cunt,
♪ Turn around, ♪
♪ Every now and then I get a little bit loney, ♪
♪ And you're never comin' 'round, ♪
♪ Turn around, ♪
♪ Every now and then I get a little bit tired, ♪
♪ Of listening to the sound of my tears, ♪
♪ Turn around, ♪
♪ Every now and then I get a little bit nervous, ♪
♪ That the best of all the years have gone by, ♪
♪ Turn around, ♪
♪ Every now and then I get a little bit terrified, ♪
♪ Then I see the look in your eyes, ♪
♪ Turn around, bright eyes, ♪
♪ Every now and then I fall apart, ♪
♪ Turn around, bright eyes, ♪
♪ Every now and then I fall apart, ♪
♪ And I need you now tonight, ♪
♪ And I need you more than ever, ♪
♪ And if you only hold me tight, ♪
♪ We'll be holding on forever, ♪
♪ And we'll only be making it right, ♪
♪ 'Cause we'll never be wrong, ♪
♪ Together we can take it to the end of the line, ♪
♪ Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time, ♪
♪ I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark, ♪
♪ We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks, ♪
♪ I really need you tonight, ♪
♪ Forever's gonna start tonight, ♪
♪ Forever's gonna start, ♪
♪ Once upon a time we were fallin' in love, ♪
♪ But now I'm just fallin' apart, ♪
♪ There's nothin' I can do, ♪
♪ A total eclipse of the heart, ♪
You need help, you're embarrassing yourself, Kirk,
You all thought this was a good idea?
Well, it was supposed to be like
the opening scene in "Old School,"
where Will Ferrell's getting married,,,
Fuck, shut the fuck up Brad,
Hey, I just wanna announce that,
as reparations for me having non-sexual,
but deeply intimate relations with Candice,
while she was, in fact, with Kirk at the moment,
I am releasing Stylo and the Murder Dogs
from their $33,000 debt,
$33,000 debt?
Shut the fuck up,
If you don't get Kirk off this lawn
and into rehab right fucking now,
I swear to God I'm gonna call the cops,
I really mean it,
Come on, man,
Jesus Christ,
Let's go get you some help,
You got it, Kirk,
Let's get the fuck out of here,
Can you drive?
Yeah, let's go Kirk,
Let's go,
You did what you could,
Hi,
Kirk, I got a, Kirk,
No, fuck off!
So now what?
It's fuckin' over, isn't it?
Well, best case scenario, Kirk actually sobers up,
That's like, but then who the fuck is he?
Kid's been pitted since junior high,
How long does it take for someone to sober up?
A few weeks?
Sometimes you can't separate greatness from mobeus, man,
Yo, I think this is where
our ships cross in the night, fellas, I'm out,
Best of luck to y'all, though,
Don't forget, y'all talented without Kirk,
so keep your heads up, all right?
It's been good,
All right, man,
Stay up,
If this Murder Dog shit ever do take off,
I'll waive my day rate, plus I'm back in,
Said they're gonna call us,
Yeah, I left my number with her,
Same,
Keep your head up, man,
Hope your mom feels better,
Thanks man,
Let me know if you hear anything,
Will do,
Somebody cleaned,
Yep, where would you like to be, mom?
On the couch, just right there,
Oh here,
Oh thanks, yep, I got it, I got it,
I gotta take this,
Yeah, of course I got it,
Can I get you anything?
No, I understand you have some kind of party van?
Hello?
Jordan?
Can you hear?
Sorry, I have horrible service in my house,
hey, can you hear me?
Yes I can, I'm just callin' to see
how you're doin', how everybody's doin',
How's your mom?
Oh, she's doin' a lot better,
we just got her home,
Good to hear, any news on Kirk,
anybody gone over to visit?
I guess he has to invite us or something,
I don't really know,
Oh, yeah, that's too bad,
Well hopefully you'll be surprised
at what comes out of the situation, you never know,
All you can do is keep tryin' to make it happen,
Yeah, that's what my mom keeps sayin',
We'll catch 'em next time, kid,
Yes we will,
I'll let you know if I hear anything, all right?
All right,
Bye,
What'd he say, how'd it go?
Get your fuckin' hand off me,
Yes, sorry,
Hello?
Sunnyside Health Clinic,
do you accept a call from Bartholomew Stylopolis?
Yeah,
Stylo, ow ow!
Check check check, check!
Ladies and gentlemen, I've written a new song
called Dick Cheney,
and it's the first song I've ever written sober,
And I'm gonna jam it,
Yeah man!
Where did he get all this gear from?
I honestly don't know,
This is the riff, yeah, get up here and jam,
You too Horus, take over,
Yeah, you just jam, yeah, yes, double the hi-hat,
Now follow that, yeah,
Doctor, I couldn't have gotten here,
Are you sure?
I think we got it now,
Okay, you're sure,
Mark, yes,
♪ Oh, in the midnight, in the corner, ♪
♪ He got in the mood now, was a woofing door, ♪
♪ It wasn't a secret, and I heard it go, ♪
♪ Suddenly, happiness and love come back, ♪
♪ Thought I was dreamin' me a lullaby, ♪
♪ Hey, say my love is, I love my babe, ♪
♪ Think I am breathin' down a soul train, ♪
I'm tellin' you, I called it Dick Cheney
'cause he got shot,
and I feel like I got shot, man,
Dick Cheney didn't get shot,
Never be the same,
He shot the fuckin' guy,
Yeah,
Are you sure about that?
100% sure, yeah,
I'm sure, MmmHmm,
I don't know, I gotta take this,
Talk to me, Jordan,
I got someone here, hold on,
Hey Kirk, this is Jim,
I don't know any Jims,
Jim Atkins, from Jimmy Eat World, hey,
Oh shit,
So hey,
Jordan was just showing me your EP,
and I think it's awesome,
Jimmy Eat World is about to go out
on a full North American run,
and we were wondering if Stylo and the Murder Dogs
want to come out with us,
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah, let me talk to my guys,
♪ Come on in, the water is fine, ♪
If you need anything,
I'm on the first flight back, all right?
You are such a good kid,,,
- Mom, - I can't stand it,
- Mom,,, - I just wanna squeeze you,
I'm serious, though, Horus can play anything,
he can cover for me, I'll be back,
Okay, okay, look where you are,
You did it,
I love you,
You know who else is proud of you right now, right?
Christopher Cross?
Your dad,
I know, I know, I love you,
Be good,
Whoa,
This shit is fun, man,
play Halo, destroy some aliens,
Yeah, I know, this is the stuff, this is the stuff,
Yo, man,,,
Yeah, you know how to get this hooked up?
This is brand new man, I don't know how to even,,,
Hey-o!
What up, buddy?
Hey,
Welcome to the tour life, brother!
Ready to get some,
Do you know how to get this shit goin'?
Yeah, give it to papa,
We should all pull out,
Your dad shoulda pulled out,
Yeah, seriously,
Jeez, fuck, shit,
The fuck was that?
I'm fucking pregnant, Kirk,
What?
I'm fucking pregnant, bitch!
- No, - Oh no,
Doesn't she mean we're pregnant?
♪ I'm walkin' down this hallway, ♪
♪ I walk into the wall, ♪
♪ I see you lookin' my way, ♪
♪ I don't look back at all, ♪
♪ Into the new dimension, ♪
♪ Into another age, ♪
♪ We're livin' to the brink, babe, ♪
♪ Into the seventh age, ♪
♪ The future's anything you want, child, ♪
♪ Don't let it steal your mind, child, ♪
♪ We can be just who we want, babe, ♪
♪ We can be just what we want, ♪
♪ In the super limit, ♪
♪ Super limit, you gave us number one, ♪
♪ Super limit, you gave us, ♪
♪ Super limit, you gave us number one, ♪
♪ Super limit, you gave us, ♪
♪ Super limit, you gave us number one, ♪
♪ Super limit, you gave us, ♪
♪ Super limit, you gave us number one, ♪
♪ I'm walkin' down this hallway, ♪
♪ I walk into the wall, ♪
♪ I see you lookin' my way, ♪
♪ I don't look back at all, ♪
♪ Into the new dimension, ♪
♪ Into another age, ♪
♪ We're livin' to and with it, ♪
♪ They teach us everythin', ♪
♪ You can be just who you want, child, ♪
♪ Don't let it steal your mind, ♪
♪ We can be just who we want, girl, ♪