By the mid-1960s,
it looked as if the Vietnam War
had no end in sight,
Our boys were coming home in body bags
faster than we could send them over,
That's when I did my part and joined up,
And for three years, I nursed soldiers in Vietnam,
But this story isn't about me,
This is about the love of my life
and the three men who went against all the odds
to get him back to me,
They were known as the Chain Breakers,
four young lads full of guts and swagger,
a secret elite squad
from the UK, the US, and Australia,
They've rescued hostages
from the presidential palace in Saigon,
they evacuated the US Embassy in Laos,
and then they were taken prisoner,
For 12 months, they were beaten and tortured
by the notorious commander, Nguyen Tan,
until they escaped,
But we weren't reunited right away,
Sometimes it takes a long time
to find a happy ending,
Sometimes it takes a very, very long time indeed,
Mr,, Bronson, can you show me your teeth, please?
Big smile,
And can you raise both of your arms like this?
Alright,
Now, Mr,, Bronson,
can you repeat this phrase after me?
"Don't cry over spilt milk,"
D,,,
Don't,,, cry,,,
over,,,
spilt milk,
Thank you,
Norma?
Norma,
Norma, it's me, It's Jack,
Jackie! It's been so long,
50 years,
Huh,
What are you doing here?
Um, there's something I've wanted to ask you
all these years,
OK,
Do you remember how we met?
Of course, I,,, I was,,,
You were standing on the jetty,
I was standing on the jetty,
and it was sunset,
The day before I shipped out,
I was a nurse,
And you thought you were so handsome in that uniform,
There's something I should have asked you that day,
and I didn't,
And I've regretted it every minute since,
What is it?
Alright, everybody, let's go!
What's going on?
- We're being transferred, - What?
Come on, guys, Everybody, please, right this way,
- Hey, listen, - Ma'am, follow me,
Listen to me, Can you just give us a minute?
I'm sorry, sir, We have to keep moving,
Unless you wanna know what it's like to dribble teeth,
I strongly suggest you remove that hand,
Ben, we've got a problem here,
Oh, man, Hold on for one second,
- Hey, hey,,, - Ma'am, this way, please,
What are you doing? Let go of,,,
I said, "Let go of me,"
I'll find you, Norma, I promise!
Come on, follow me,
I'll find you again!
You've been here less than one day,
and you faked a stroke, threatened our staff,
and tried to break out,
I think that's a record,
There was a very special lady friend I had to see,
- Norma McCarthy, - Yeah, that's right,
Why is that?
Because it's been 50 years,
Norma was transferred out of here earlier today,
Uh-huh, How come?
She's in the early stages of dementia,
She's participating in an experimental trial
at another facility down at the Bay,
Um,,, look,,,
I apologize for the hassle,
I'll just get my things, and I'll be outta here,
Take a seat, Mr, Bronson,
I'd rather stand,
Take,,, a,,, seat,
You won't be leaving here anytime soon,
You wanna bet?
I've spoken with the doctor,
who told me that last week,
you started a fire in your hotel room,
trying to cook fish fingers,
It wasn't fish fingers,
He believes that you are a danger
to yourself and others,
Really? Well, that's just one man's opinion, isn't it?
What's this?
These are your signed admission forms,
You need our approval to leave,
And I'm not giving you that,
I don't give a toss what I signed,
I'm gettin' the hell outta this dump,
Mr, Bronson,,,
Oh, you wanna dance with me, sweetheart?
Mr, Bronson!
Norma will be back in three months,
In three months, she might not even remember who I am,
Damn,
It's not gonna be as easy as it was last time,
And what would that be?
Escaping,
What makes you think I'm escaping?
You're a Chain Breaker, aren't you?
Beat it, kid, You bother me,
"Lieutenant Jack Bronson,
"Elite Special Forces commander
"from 1967 to 1971,
"Made famous for leading the daring escape
"from the infamous Ninh Hoa prison,
Can sometimes,,, be grumpy,"
Say, aren't you a little young to be in here?
My mom works here,
She makes me come after school,
She thinks I'll get into trouble by myself at home,
And will you?
Probably,
What's that?
That's none of your beeswax,
So, now that you're here, we have a full set,
A full set of what?
Chain Breakers,
We got Jeremiah Caine, James Wendell,
Angus "Screw Loose" Wilson and you,
You're all here,
Show me,
I understand that if I had this Alzheimer's
or dementia-whatever,
how could I remember my mother's maiden name, eh?
Mr, Wilson, I need you to understand
that this can play out in different ways,
And in 1973, I won the Brownlow Medal,
Well, there was an incident, and I got reported,
but I won!
- Mr, Wilson,,, - On points, yeah,
And I can remember the smell of the grass,
I can remember the cheer of the crowd,
I can remember the feel of the footy on my boot,
If I had this,,,
Alzheimer's,
Yeah, whatever, If I had,,,
How could I remember all these things, eh?
Explain that to me,
What you remember will change from day to day,
Oh, bullshit,
There is absolutely nothing bloody wrong
with my memory,
Now, I won't have you or any other silly bugger
telling me otherwise,
Bronson?
Haven't you forgotten something there, mate?
Hup, ha, hup, ha, Get back! Back!
Ha! No, no, Ha, ha!
What the hell happened to him?
Ah, he fell off a roof
after starting a riot in jail
to cover an escape,
What was he in jail for?
- Robbing a bank, - Oh,
Nine banks, actually,
After 50 years in the can, d'you think I'd let a pack
of big girls' blouses like you get near me, eh?
It'll be over in a minute, I promise,
No!
- Prostate exam, - Oh, ow,
Grab the broom!
Calm down, sir, Calm down,
What the hell are you doing here?
Well, it's my room, mate,
What?
- It is? - Yeah,
I mean, don't worry about it, Howard,
They all look the same, don't they?
- Uh,,, - Yeah,
Oh, Oh,
Come on, You must have come in the wrong door,
Oh, You won't tell Maisie about this, will you?
Nah, not a word, not a word,
Oh, thanks, pal,
I could have sworn,,,
Which one is it then?
Is it down here?
He's gone,
You're outrageous,
What are you doing in a place like this?
Oh, bad luck, sweetheart, Bad luck,
You got sick, didn't you?
Yeah,
But I'll bounce back,
Well, you'd better hurry up,
That husband of mine will be back soon,
You're probably all wondering why
I just showed up after all these years,
Yeah, well, we were all wondering that,
Well, I wasn't,
50 years ago, the four of us made a pact,
- We did? - Uh-huh,
And now's the time to make good on it,
Wait a minute, wait a minute,
What pact?
The pact to kill Nguyen Tan,
The lady in 2B?
No, that's Susan Land,
So,,, So who's this Nguyen Tan?
Christ almighty, Angus!
Don't you remember that shithouse holiday
we had in Vietnam?
Remember that asshole who tortured us for a year?
Ohh!
Silly bastard forgot who I was last week,
Do you know how many people there are here
in wheelchairs, Wendell?
So we all look the same now, do we?
Hey, hey, ladies, do you mind?
So where is this bastard?
He's in a nursing home out at the Bay,
Look, fellas, I'd do it myself if I could,
but I need your help to get out of here,
This will be our last mission,
We're not the Chain Breakers anymore,
What are you talking about?
We'll always be the Chain Breakers,
Now we're just a bunch of old guys
who get up four times a night to take a piss,
Really?
Who's the best faceman you've ever seen?
Who convinced Charlie that Angus here was VC?
Who's the toughest son of a bitch you've ever known,
the guy who took seven bullets
and still flew us out of Laos?
And there's nothing that Angus can't fix, drive or destroy,
We clawed our way out of the deepest, darkest shithole
that Nam could throw us in,
And I, for one, am not gonna let old age
and this pissant nursing home stand in my way,
So how about it? You guys with me or no?
Last week Angus got trapped in a toilet cubicle,
True story,
What happened to "No excuses, no regrets"?
We're not those blokes anymore!
Sorry, mate,
Wednesdays, they have pudding,
Pudding,
You'll see, It's not so bad here,
"Dear Jackie,
"it was wonderful to receive your letter,
"the best and greatest surprise of my life,
"The Army told me that you were missing in action,
"presumed dead,
"At the heart of all great love is a great friendship,
"And it is there that I hope
"we can renew and continue,
"I cannot and will not lose you twice,"
"My dear son, Bruce,
"I hope this letter finds you well,
"I know I've done things that are not good,
"but I have done good things too,
"And the best thing I ever did by far
"was having you,
"I know that you don't want to see me,
"and I don't blame you for that,
"I'm not proud of the,,,"
In 1973, I won the Brownlow Medal,
I played,,,
I played 112 games for the mighty Magpies,
And I won,,,
I played 112 games for the mighty Magpies,
I won the Brownlow Medal,
I've spent my entire life trying to forget that war,
Do you have a plan?
Does the Pope shit in the woods?
I vote Angus doesn't come,
And who the hell's this?
I'm a Chain Breaker,
No, He,,, He's not,
You're a trainee, you got it? A trainee,
- We've got a trainee, - Who?
Angus,
Oh, piss off,
I know every single back door, loose window
and weak spot in this place,
Do you wanna get out of here?
Or do you wanna get caught getting out of here?
Sounds like a Chain Breaker to me,
Yeah, Me too,
Great, I call this mission,,,
wait for it,,,
Operation Skippy,
We need to recon the area,
I wanna know how many guards there are,
I wanna know who turns up to work early, who's lazy,
and who has the keys to the kingdom,
Maybe this'll help,
Where'd you get that thing?
Smuggled it in,
You're not allowed to smuggle things in,
That's why they call it "smuggling,"
Um,,, it's,,, it's not loaded, is it?
I thought we could frighten a few people with it,
Who'd be frightened of a senior citizen with a gun?
I don't want any civilians harmed on this mission,
Is it this room?
Kitchen, bathroom, You, nurses' station, Go,
Think they'll find the guys who fired that gun?
Norma, there's a phone call for you,
Oh, Thank you,
Is that you?
Hey, sweetheart,
How're you doing?
Oh, I'm doing,,,
I'm not doing so well,
I bet you're doing better than you think,
There's this book,
I know I've been reading it all evening,
but,,, for the life of me,
I couldn't tell you what it's about,
Do you have the book with you now?
Oh,
Yes,
Read some of it to me,
I'll remember for the two of us,
Um,,,
"I'm not sentimental,
"I'm as romantic as you are,
"The idea, you know,
"is that the sentimental person thinks things will last,
"The romantic person has a desperate confidence
that they won't,"
Yeah,
This door, that door and this door
need key passes to get through,
but the rest are wide open,
- Good job, kid, Good job, - Yeah, well done,
She's coming,
Who, Lin?
- No, - Who?
- Mom, - Be cool, just be cool,
Hey, What's goin' on?
Nothing, Just being cool,
OK,,,
Well, if you can take a minute from being cool,
how about you go get your stuff, so we can get going?
Are you guys the Chain Breakers?
Yeah,
Elliot can't stop talking about you and your gang,
Well, we like having him around,
You know, ma'am, he may just surprise you,
He may be old enough to take care of himself after school,
instead of hanging around here with a bunch of old farts,,,
- Uh, folks, - Is that what he told you,
that I won't let him stay home by himself?
- Uh-huh, - He's such a shit,
I would love it if he stayed at home by himself,
His father left us,
Well, me, Two months ago,
- He's scared of being alone, - Really?
- He doesn't look like,,, - He pretends,
You guys are the only friends he has,
- Thank you, Mr, Bronson, - Ma'am,
- Mr, Caine, - Pleasure,
- See you tomorrow, - Yeah, tomorrow,
Hear that?
She's single,
Without that keypass,
we'll never set foot outside these walls,
- Hello, love, - Kitchen's closed,
Ah, yeah, I know, but Angus and I, we missed,,,
Kitchen's closed,
Get the hell outta here!
I guess she's more of a dog person,
I think,
I'll take Wendell,
Knock three times if someone comes,
OK, toss the joint,
Keypass,
Where would she put her keypass?
- Nothing in here, - Nothing here either,
Bingo,
Attaboy, Now let's get the hell outta here,
Damn! It must have snuck in,
I'll get him,
I'm not going down for a cat,
He won't get out of here on his own,
You saw what she was like,
Got him!
Hide!
We've got to find somewhere to hide,
You having a senior moment or something?
I've had enough of you abusing me, Wendell,
Nah, I was just wondering,
what was that tasty dish you made for us last night?
Rissoles?
Bloody lovely they were, honestly,
Oh,
The key to a good rissole
is using the right mince,
Fabulous, Absolutely fabulous,
Oh!
- What about us? - Where's the cake?
We're about to sing "Happy Birthday" to the Thompsons,
Oh, I was just,,,
Yeah, we were talking about rissoles,
- Rissoles? - Rissoles,
- You can do it! - Oi, bloody hell!
The secret of a good rissole is,,,
I don't even know what to say,
- We're in love, - What?
Um, you can't stand in the way of our love,
Tell them, Bronson, What we have is very special,
- Uhh,,, - Is this true?
Uh, yes,
Very special,
Get it off! It itches!
- Mr, Caine! - Mr, Caine?
Mm, yeah,
I'm sorry it's not better news,
Yeah,
Um,,,
Well, look, how long have I got?
Couple of months, give or take,
How much more give than take?
Not much,
Bollocks,
Having trouble sleeping again, Howard?
Oh, I didn't want to keep Maisie up,
I'll walk with you,
Oh, that's nice,
Were you in the war, dear?
No, I'm too young,
My dad was,
Did he make it?
Does anybody ever really make it?
Norma, what's wrong?
I don't know,
Nice hat, You on a case?
Nice slippers, They come in men's sizes?
What? They're unisex,
Oh, whoa-whoa! Steady on, I got ya,
We gotta do this together, OK?
Yeah, OK,
I just hope no one sees us,
I hope no one sees those slippers,
Kevin O'Neill,
Kevin,
Geraldine Wright,
Here you are, sweetie, No worries,
Er, James Wendell,
Return to sender, return to sender,
Remember those stories you used to tell us
in the cells late at night?
They were just old movies you'd never seen,
Yeah, but you'd change them,
You made all the endings happy endings,
You know, for 40 years,
I thought Rick got on that plane with Ilsa,
- Happy endings are better, - Yeah!
I never got a happy ending,
You know, the last time I saw my boy,
I could hold him in my hands,
Now he's got children of his own,
Wendell,,,
,,did you ever think,
when you were robbing all those banks in your heyday,
did you ever think that that had something to do with
the situation you currently find yourself in now?
No, Angus, I've never thought of that,
Just once,,, once,,,
I wish I could take my boy to the footy,
like I should've when he was a kid,
I don't wanna die in here,
I wanna be on Daphne
and forget about everything else,
Sounds like a lovely lady, this Daphne,
Oh, she is,
28-foot sloop,
You know, all the years I've been in Australia,
I've wanted to sail, you know, sail properly,
and, well, when I retired, I bought Daphne,
I've only sailed her once,
then my doctor recommended that I come in here
for treatment and observation,
Now they say I'm too,,,
Not well enough to leave,
I should've got on that boat, aimed at the horizon,
and never seen anybody ever again,
Don't we deserve a happy ending, Bronson?
Yeah, we all deserve happy endings,
Maybe we should forget about the escape, then,
Pussies!
Pack of gutless pussies,
Who the hell are you?!
I'm the only one to break out of this hellhole
and get away with it,
You broke back in to tell us that?
Oh, shut up, you legless pussy,
- Jesus! - I know who you are,
And who's that, sunshine?
You're Henry Miles, am I right?
You were in the Great Escape,
Ohh, Steve McQueen,
I love Steve McQueen, What's he like?
- Angus, the real Great Escape, - Idiot,
You were one of the few that got away,
Too right I was,
Well, you don't look like much now,
Maybe I'd look better with my foot up your ass,
You're gonna quit?
You gotta get your balls, fellas,
You gotta,,, You gotta stick to the plan with balls,
and you gotta write the plan down,
and you gotta,,, you,,,
and you gotta read the plan,
and you gotta read the plan to each other,
and you gotta read the plan before you go to bed,
a-a-and you gotta,,,
you gotta brush your teeth before you go to bed,
and you gotta set your alarm
so you don't sleep in and,,, and miss breakfast
'cause breakfast is the most important meal of the day,
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we get the picture,
I suppose that means you wanna come with us,
Hell no, dickhead,
I'm too old for this shit,
Too old for breathing!
You just watch your mouth, sunshine,
He's right, you know,
We're the goddamn Chain Breakers,
We don't sit around feeling sorry for ourselves,
We get the job done,
I want everyone in the storeroom,
Tomorrow, 1830 hours,
We're gonna finish this damn mission,
Ah,
What were you doing in there?
Uh, I was just checking on Bronson,
He wasn't feeling very well,
- Is he alright now? - Yeah,
Good,
Elliot!
The book,
Thank you,
Hmm,
Angus, where are you?
In the foyer,
with a code to the front door, ready to punch it in,
Wendell?
Watching Angus's back
in case some bastard tries to stop him,
Check,
Caine,
Caine?
Oh, I know what I'm doing,
Right,
Once we're on the outside, fresh air in our lungs,
that's when we commandeer a vehicle,
Angus, you're driving,
I haven't driven since the year 2000,
Probably would've kept that to myself, if I were you, Angus,
Well, I'd say it's like riding a bike,
Sure,
Maybe we can commandeer a bike, then,
We won't all fit on a bike, Wendell,
Once we get there, we hightail it over to the nursing home,
pretend we're just visiting a bunch of old friends,
and bada-bing, bada-boom, we're in like Flynn,
- And then what? - And then what?
Then we're in, that's what,
And we kill Nguyen Tan, yeah?
- Yeah, - You know where he is?
'Course I do, He's in the nursing home,
Wait, hold on,
How did you find out Tan was even in the Bay?
Because Nguyen Tan isn't in the Bay,
He died in 1996,
Did you lie to us?
- Yeah, - Son of a bitch,
I had a good reason,
Who gives a shit about your reason?
Yeah, nothing's changed, has it?
It's all about Jack Bronson and to hell with the rest of us,
Come on, don't give me that crap,
Just like Laos all over again,
What are you talking about?
Where the hell would you be without me?
Huh? Where would any of you be?
I put this team together,
I planned out every mission,
Oh, well, cheers for that,
You turned my seven-week secondment
into four years of hell!
Oh, horseshit,
I took all you guys from rags to ribbons,
Hell, I am the Chain Breakers,
Without me, you're all nothing,
What?!
- That's not true, - Really?
What have you all done in the last 50 years, huh?
I'll tell you, Nada,
- That's not true! - OK,
Tell me one thing you've done, Go ahead,
I've done lots of things,
We all have,
Only you weren't there to see them,
He's right,
You and your breakout,,,
can go fuck yourself,
Is that you, Jackie?
Hi, sweetheart,
Hope you're not causing too much trouble over there,
That doesn't sound like something I would do, does it?
Oh, no, not my Jack,
Tell me how we met,
Why do you want to hear that old story again for?
'Cause it pleases me,
Well, I was standing on the jetty,
I was a nurse, you were a soldier,
It was the night before you were shipped off to Vietnam,
And you thought you looked so handsome in your uniform,
And if you'd asked me to marry you
right then, at that moment,
I would have said yes,
Shit-for-brains, come with me,
Who the hell is this?
This is Rob "The Rabbit" Mason,
He escaped this place seven times,
That's a record here, you know,
Lin beefed up the security, but the Rabbit was persistent,
always found a way,
Oh, a bloody menace he was,
Last time he escaped, the Rabbit stole a car,
Really?
So Lin keeps him sedated,
You mark my words,
The next time you escape, you better bloody escape,
Howard, don't forget your file,
Oh, thank you,
You waiting to go to the hospital too?
No, I'm just waiting,
Ah, Aren't we all?
Howard Leonard, 3rd Battalion,
Jack Bronson, Shadow Company,
- Oh, Special Forces? - Yeah,
Um, listen, pal, I gotta hit the head again,
Um, if these jokers from the hospital ever turn up,
tell them to wait for me, will you?
- No worries, - Oh, thanks, pal,
Hey, um,,,
Thanks, pal,
Howard Leonard, I'm here to take you to the hospital
for your tests,
- I've got Mr, Leonard, - Thanks,
There you go, That's for you,
So the doctor just needs a urine sample
before your appointment,
No problemo,
Taxi!
Just here, thank you,
Hi!
Hello, Mr, Bronson,
Oh, man,
Come on,
Ow,
I don't know what Yelp is, but I'm gonna find out,
And when I do, I'm gonna give this place a really bad review,
And I won't be recommending it
to my friends anytime soon either,
From what I understand,
you're running a bit short in the friends department,
- Why are you such a,,, - Bitch?
I was gonna say "hard-ass," but "bitch" works for me,
Bao Lin,
What's that supposed to mean?
Bao Lin was the guard at Ninh Hoa,
Yeah? And?
Do you know what Nguyen Tan did to the guard
who was held responsible for your escape?
Haven't the faintest,
He was executed,
Yeah,
Bao Lin was an artist, a teacher,
and he was my father,
He didn't want to be in that war,
After he died, we grew up in poverty and disgrace,
Eventually, we came here and life went on, but,,,
I still heard my mother crying herself to sleep
through the walls in our flat,
So this is about revenge?
No! No,
This is for your own good,
- Morning, Tina, - Morning, Norma,
- Hi, - Hello, Norma,
Hi,
Here's your sandwiches, Norma,
- Thanks, - Can I get you a tea?
Yes, please,
- Up to the bus, - Thank you, thank you,
It's such a pleasure as always,
And off we go!
I want an ice cream,
We've got to keep you in line, Pete,
I'm across from the nursing home in Linwood Street,
and I think someone's escaped,
There's a weird old lady in a red jacket
wandering about,
Mmm,
There she is,
You wait here, darling,
We'll find out where you belong,
- Is Lin on duty? - Yeah,
Oh, Jackie, What have they done to you?
Isn't this a rude turn of events,
Here they are,
Norma, sweetie?
Is this a friend of yours?
No, I don't think so,
Let's take you home,
I say we let him rot,
Oh, we can't leave a mate like this,
Ah, I mean, he may be a lying sack of shit,
but he's our lying sack of shit,
Alright, then, Bloody hell,
But first things first,
We're gonna need to get him off his meds,
I've been off my meds for years,
Oh, really? Huh, Hadn't noticed,
The only way to change his meds is in the nurses' station,
and we're not allowed in there,
Well, I know someone who is,
Listen, kid, this is gonna take precision timing,
Precision timing,
- Quick reflexes,,, - Reflexes,
- and grit, - Lots of grit,
Now, all the medicines are kept in a cupboard
in the nurses' station, right?
So all you've gotta do is walk in there,
nice and relaxed like you're visiting your mother
like you've done a thousand times before and then,,,
- And this is important, - It's important,
You swap the contents of that bottle,
with Mr, Bronson's pills,
Have you got that?
Precision timing,
quick reflexes, lots of grit,
Excellent!
You think he can do this?
Probably not,
We're on,
- iPad? - Mm-hmm,
Have you finished your English assignment?
I did, Promise,
Kid's a natural,
Here we go,
Hello?
What the bloody hell's he doing?
This wasn't in the plan, was it?
No, no,
What were you doing?
If they run out of tablets, what would they do?
Order some more,
So I changed Bronson's prescription,
- What, you're a doctor? - How'd you do that?
Medical school, probably,
I just hacked the system,
It's easy, if you know the algorithms,
Oh,
Ah, shit,
Hello, sailors,
You bugger!
Ha!
Oh, dear,
I don't remember much about that first year back in the States,
I was angry,
I was in denial,
And I was a drunk,
I wouldn't be here
if not for all the vets who never gave up on me,
Like they say, "One day at a time,"
Saved my life,
They even encouraged me to write Norma,
Took a while, but she wrote me back,
The Army had told her I was MIA, presumed dead,
so she resigned her commission,
taking the next plane home,
After about a year, she started seeing this doctor,
Nice-enough guy,
Anyway, they,,,
They'd gotten married, had a kid,
Oh, man, I was right back in the toilet,
Thank God for meetings,
Couple months later, I get this package,
She'd made me this,
She wanted to know if I needed a friend,
and would she do,
She wrote me every week for nearly 50 years,
This is the last one she sent,
Doesn't really sound like her though,
After her husband died, she started to forget things,
and it frightened her,
Didn't wanna burden their son, so she checked herself in here,
I'm gonna ask her to marry me,
I just have to do it before she forgets who I am,
Then why make up all that bollocks about Nguyen Tan?
I couldn't take the chance you wouldn't help me
if I told you the truth,
You always overcomplicate things,
Typical bloody Bronson,
You could have made this a lot easier, you know,
So what's the plan?
I made a few changes, I think you'll like 'em,
First, we commandeer a vehicle,
pick up Wendell's son, Bruce,
whisk the two of them off to the footy
for a little father-and-son time,
The 1973 Brownlow Medal is on display at the clubhouse
as part of a traveling exhibit,
Your Brownlow Medal, Angus, Did you know that?
You'll finally get a chance to see it in the flesh,
Then we hop on a tram, over to the jetty,
and I pop the question to Norma,
How does she get there?
They're allowed one hour of outdoor exercise
every day at 5:00,
so we time our arrival to coincide with theirs
and Bob's your uncle,
And Fanny's your aunt,
Hey, old man, do you think you can find a way
to get your boat over to the marina?
Yeah, Yeah, I think I've got a couple of mates who'll help,
Well, then, my friend,
you can go out any way you want,
Um, one more thing,
Any of you guys remember
that guard in Nam that helped us escape?
- Mm, - Mm,
- Good bloke, - Yeah,
Nguyen Tan had him executed for it,
His name was Bao,
And Lin is his daughter,
Oh!
I just thought you might wanna know
because if we fail,,,
No excuses, no regrets,
Yeah,
You can count me in too,
In what, the grave?
You're not too old for me to,,,
put you over my goddamn knee, boy,
What the hell's he doin' here?
Remember how we got out of De Nang?
Yeah, we faked Angus's death,
That's right,
Well, this time we're gonna fake Hank's death,
Shouldn't be too hard,
We can make that work, yeah,
Do you want me to mix the same concoction I did for Angus?
This plan is bloody flawless,
Hank is dead,
Great!
No, no, no, I mean really dead,
What do you mean, dead? You mean like dead-dead?
Yeah, like a bleedin' dodo,
You sure?
He certainly smells like it to me,
Damn,
You killed him with that shit potion,
No, I didn't! He was old,
Murderer,
What are we gonna do now?
Yeah! Well, what we gonna do?
No excuses, no regrets,
You're right, kid, This mission is still a go,
Everyone take their positions,
And, men, bite 'em in the ass,
Come on, mate,
It's a good look for you,
Give us a kiss,
See you next time,
If we don't get 'em down with the first whack,
we're in trouble,
Then we better get 'em down with the first whack,
Wait, he's falling,
- What are you doing? - Nothing,
- You were gonna hit us, - No, we weren't,
Yes, you were, With that pole,
No, no, no, no, no, no!
- We're just checking, - Yeah,
Checking for what?
- For what? - It's what we do, we check,
Hey, look, fellas, appearances can be deceiving,
Well, that happened,
Well done, sir!
Well done, Wendell,
Angus, the code?
We wrote it down, and you put it in your pocket,
Why would I want to write it down?
Oh, you're kidding me, aren't you?
Just jokin', I got it here,
Yeah, well, come on, Angus,
What?
Wrong trousers,
Oh, shit,
It's alright, I got it up here,
Oh, we're buggered,
Angus, I have complete faith in you,
What's the code?
The first number,,,
is,,, F,
- What? - What?!
Bloody hell!
Gentlemen!
Is this part of the plan?
No, mate, it is not part of the plan,
What do we do now?
Bronson, w-what do we do now?
I don't bloody well know, OK?!
Sorry, I just can't see how to get out of this one,
I can,
Give us a hand,
Just chuck it on your shoulder,
Bloody genius,
Just like we did in Nui Dat,
- There's yours, - Thanks,
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, - What?
It's bad luck to open an umbrella inside,
It'll be good luck in a minute,
What's it doing?
Maybe it's gone out,
OK, boys, let's blow this nickel pop stand!
Hey, hey, hey,
Between jail and this joint,
I haven't been on the outside since 1975,
Did they tell you about hovercars?
Don't joke about that shit,
I don't even know what Twitter is,
Trust me, mate, it doesn't matter,
Quickly, quickly,
Come on!
Well, there's the hearse, Who's driving it?
Elliot, my man!
Well, you're a Chain Breaker now,
- No excuses, no regrets, - Good on you,
Get out, I'm driving,
No, I'm driving,
- Respect your elders, son, - Ooh-ooh-ooh!
OK, OK, Ah! Ow,
Get in, ha-ha!
Hey!
Do you think maybe we could get a little more speed
out of this crate?
Execute a U-turn immediately,
You are not on a charted course,
She is making me nervous,
Caine, think you can shut that thing up?
Execute a U-turn immediately,
You are not on,,,
Now, which way is it?
All good, all good,
Straight up, straight up, round the corner, Good,
Where's my hearse?
Did you move the,,, They've got the hearse!
There it is,
Is that him in the yard?
- He's a bit, uh,,, - Tubby,
Just big boned, Gets it from his mother,
G'day,
Are you Bruce Wendell?
- Yeah, - Bruce Lawrence Wendell?
- That's me, - We need you to come with us,
Why would I do that?
Just get in the hearse, please,
Mate, I'm not dead yet,
Get in the hearse,
That's not a gun, It's your finger,
- Oh, no, it isn't, - Yes, it is,
- No! - Then show me the gun,
No!
I told you not to bring that thing,
Yeah, but I brought it anyway,
What do you say we get in the hearse now?
Hi, son,
Oh, shit, Let me out, will you?
You wouldn't return my letters,
What, so you kidnap me?
I just wanted to take you to the footy, alright?
- Who's that? - Oh, that's Elliot,
No, not the kid, Who's in the bag?
Oh, that's Hank,
What happened to Hank?
Caine killed him,
It was natural causes!
Oh, pig's ass,
Now, son, how's Mom?
We're never going to get a park,
Park over there,
Look, right in front of you, there,
We'll get booked for that,
Well, let's see, We've assaulted two undertakers,
escaped from a nursing home, stole a hearse,
And kidnapped Bruce,
A parking ticket should be the least of our worries,
wouldn't you say?
Alright! I'm not paying for it,
They've made some changes here,
When was the last time you were here?
1968,
Wow, In that case, Dad, yeah, they've made some changes,
- Come on, - Good game, huh?
Yeah, it's good,
Ah! There's a big fight going on in the canteen,
You better hurry up, Come on, Quick,
I've got a hearse with what looks like a body in the back,
- You want a pie? - Yeah,
Yeah, what?
Yeah, please,
Two pies and two beers,
And a sausage roll as well, mate,
I think you might be right with just the pie,
They found the hearse,
Is that it?
Yep, That's it,
How many goals did you kick?
171,
171, and then some bastard playing for Carlton
called me a baby killer
on account of being in Vietnam and whatnot,
I broke his jaw,
And I was suspended,
I should've won that year, the Brownlow Medal,
But I was disqualified,
What does it matter whether it's in here or someplace else?
It's yours, You earned it,
Ai-yi-yi-yi-yi,
OK, you just,,,
Come on, let's go, Come on,
I thought,,, maybe we could,,,
Well, you know, um,,,
Start over,
Oh, that's bullshit!
That was bullshit, Did you see that dickhead?
Hey, maggot, why don't you read the AFL rulebook,
instead of a comic book, you pinhead?
Would you mind watching your language?
- Ah, shut up! - Sit down,
Oh, run, you mongrel, run,
And you, you princess, why not get off the grass
and get on the catwalk, prancing around like that,
you clueless cock-end,
- Jesus, - Christ!
What an idiot,
So why didn't you write?
Write?
I didn't even read the letters you sent me,
Ugh, I didn't want your stupid letters,
I wanted you,
You've always been the most favorite thing I've ever done,
I can't feel anything in that leg,
Come on, Let's find them,
Right on schedule,
Bronson,
Not her,
This little trip of yours isn't exactly above board,
is it?
Don't worry, I'll hold her up,
Thanks, boy,
See you, Dad,
Yeah,
Hey,
Regrets are for pussies,
So, um, you know, uh, don't be a pussy,
Alright, gentlemen, move it or lose it,
Hey!
It's Lin!
I'm sorry, boys, It's no good, You'll have to leave me,
No excuses, no regrets,
Stop saying that, will ya?
All of us or none of us,
A tram!
Cop that, you bastards!
Who puts tram stops that close together?
Come on, come on! Hurry!
Give me the police,
Oh, no,
- What is it? - The cops,
The Old Bill, Angus, the Old Bill!
Who's Old Bill?
Must be a friend of Caine's,
- Excuse me, sir, - Can I help you, Officer?
We're on the lookout for some folks
who've escaped a local nursing home,
Uh, no, I haven't seen anyone that fits that description,
And you, sir?
- I'm on holiday, - Holiday, where from?
Ireland, Yeah, Foxford,
You're jokin',
What are the odds, huh?
You're from Foxford?
I'm from Cormullen, just down the road,
- Jesus! - Oh, how about that, eh?
All the way over here in Australia,
we meet on a tram,
How's the old footy team goin'?
Oh, they won the final,
- They won? - Uh-huh!
They haven't won since 1984,
Did the town have a party? I bet they had a party,
Did the town have a party!
What's the name of your people?
- Marshall, - Your dad was there,
My dad's dead,
Must've been your uncle,
- Uncle Dennis? - Uncle Dennis, yeah,
Off his tits, pissed as a parrot,
He's been sober for 43 years,
Well, I'm sorry to have to tell you this,
but your Uncle Dennis fell off the wagon big-time,
Oh, shite,
It happened when he ran over the family dog,
Brutus, He said he'd look after him for me,
Aunt Sharon didn't say nothin' about that,
Look, if you see anyone who fits the description
of the men we're after,
be sure to let us know,
Will do, Officer, Thank you,
What were you thinking?
I was in character!
Good on you, mate,
Lovely day, isn't it?
It is,
You are so beautiful,
Is that your line?
You walk up and down the jetty,
telling all the girls they're beautiful?
Uh-uh, Just you,
You're very sure of yourself, aren't you?
I've had a lot of time to think about this moment,
And in all this thinking of yours,
how does this moment end?
Do you believe in happy endings?
Sure,
So if this was your happy ending,
what do you imagine would happen next?
Maybe,,, you'd have a ring in your pocket,
maybe you'd slip it on my finger,
maybe we'd live happily ever after,
Do you remember how we first met?
Um,,,
You were standing on the jetty,
I was standing on the jetty,
It was the night before you were shipped out,
You thought you looked so handsome in your uniform,
That night I thought you were gonna propose to me,
If only I had,
Norma Jean McCarthy, will you marry me?
I'll have to think about it,
I thought about it, Yes,
Great,
I'll be seeing you real soon,
Jack,
Ta, mate,
She got any friends?
- You take care, mate, - And you,
Where are you going?
God, you never pay attention,
He's going for a sail,
Oh,
We'll see you later then,
Nah, not this time, mate,
We can't just let him go like,,, that,
Somebody should say something,
Exactly what is there to say, Angus? Good luck?
I love you, mate,
Thanks, Angus,
And just remember,
if anything happens out there, anything at all,
even if the Navy thinks you're a people smuggler,
and you end up in a detention center,
or pirates take over your boat,
or a sea monster comes,,,
He's forgotten what he's saying,
Where was I up to?
"If a sea monster comes up,,,"
Sea monster comes up out of the ocean,
if any of these things happen, just remember,,,
we'll be there,
Brilliant,
Ah, look, boys, if nothing else,
we had some laughs, didn't we?
- Oh, yeah, - What more can you ask, eh?
There he goes,
Ah, bugger,
Just leave them with us unless there's any trouble,
You're coming home, boys,
Sit, Mr, Bronson,
Lie down,
- I asked her, - You asked who?
Norma,
You asked Norma what?
To marry me,
You said your father was executed
for helping us escape,
I remember every moment of that night,
The plan was perfect,
They didn't know we were missing,
A couple more minutes, we were home free,
We came around this corner,
there was your father
standing between us and the way out,
I don't know who was more surprised, him or us,
We both just kinda froze,
Only, he had his weapon raised,
We were unarmed,
All he had to do was pull the trigger,
But he didn't,
After ten of the longest seconds of my life,
he lowered his rifle,
opened the gates, stepped aside and,,,
and we got to live,
Is this one of your stories?
No, uh-uh,
No, it isn't,
I never got a chance to thank him,
Best I can do now is thank his daughter,
Bao Lin gave his life for ours,
Thank you,
We all thank you,
What did she say?
Oh, um,,,
She said yes,
You know this doesn't change anything between us, right?
Sure it does,
Jackie always believed in happy endings,
But of course not everybody gets one,
Because the thing about happy endings
is that they don't just happen,
You have to make them happen,
Ohh!
I was beginning to think you'd stood me up,
Well, that wouldn't be our happy ending, would it?
It certainly would not,
A magical unicorn cake!
Pass me the clicker,
The recipe that we're making today
is a fun fairy cake from scratch,
Ah, thing's buggered,
Hey, anyone seen Elliot?
Oh, he's outside playing with his mates,
Hello, love, Have you had your cup of tea?
Oh, Jackie,
Apparently, they're all out of teabags,
You don't say,
Come on, boys,
We got a mission,
Hey! Come on, boy,
Hurry up! Hurry!